Hello everyone, this is my submission for round six of Season 9 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. Thank you to my teammates: Cupcakeyyy and Wellwick for betaing this. I do not own any rights to Harry Potter; they belong to J.K. Rowling.
Chaser 1 Task: Sirius/Marlene
Optional Prompts used:
3. (emotion) surprise
5. (colour) lemon
12 (word) memories
Word Count: 1707
Trigger warnings: mention of physical child abuse
Where has she put it? Sirius wondered as he searched the set of dresser drawers in their bedroom, before moving to look through the laundry basket, throwing items of clothing on the floor in his search, not particularly caring in that moment if he made a mess or not. Marlene knew he wouldn't go out on the bike without his jacket – it was almost a second skin, something he couldn't be without when he went out for a ride.
He knew full well that she believed it was a death trap, a subject on which they disagreed and had had a few arguments over in the past, but he always told her he wasn't getting rid of it. It was his prized possession, a baby of sorts.
If she's thrown that jacket out…
He yanked the doors of the wardrobe open, checking each item of clothing that was hung up for his elusive black leather jacket. When he came up empty, he began to search the shelf where some of the towels were usually stacked neatly. When his hands fell upon a box, he grinned triumphantly as he lifted it down and carried it over to the large, king size bed that was neatly made.
I knew it, she's bloody hid it! he thought as he placed it on the bed and took the lid off, putting it to the side. All hope diminished, however, when instead of his precious jacket he found a lemon-coloured blanket wrapped carefully in tissue paper.
He couldn't deny that his interest was piqued. Why had there been a blanket neatly hidden away in a box on their wardrobe shelf? Was it a gift for someone? His mind was racing with questions as to the curious item which seemed to stand out given the brightness of the lemon shade.
He decided that there was nothing for it but to shout, "Marlene!"; that way he could get answers not just about this blanket but where his jacket was. He opened his mouth ready to shout but closed it the moment she came into the room, hands on her hips, her fiery red hair around her shoulders like a blazing halo. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the mess he'd already made, before looking at him, clear annoyance at the chaos in the room.
"Sirius! All this mess and for what? Please don't say it was for that blasted…" she trailed off when her dark hazel eyes fell upon the open box and Sirius' intrigued gaze.
"Marley, what is this?" At his name for her, she couldn't help but smile, it was difficult to stay mad at him. His grey eyes were alight with curiosity and it was almost as if she could see the mischievous boy, he'd been at Hogwarts.
Sitting down beside him on the bed she took the blanket out of the box, unfurling it out to its full size to show him it properly. She'd hidden the box in the wardrobe, thinking that he would never find nor look inside but clearly, he had. While she had planned for this to be a surprise there was no chance of that now as the cat was most certainly out of the bag. She watched with hopeful eyes as he studied the blanket, his gaze falling upon the beautiful row of ducklings embroidered in a dark gold to stand out against the lemon on the bottom corner of the blanket. At the opposite corner there was a small Golden Snitch, its wings expanded and fluttered slightly due to a charm placed upon it. She waited to see if he would figure out who the blanket was for.
Sirius studied the blanket. He slowly, almost cautiously reached out, touching it. It was so soft. He smiled, before rubbing at his beard while he tried to figure out just what the blanket was for. As if on cue something clicked in his mind when he thought it looked like a baby blanket, a bit like the one Harry had in his nursery. As the realisation dawned on him, his eyes widened not just in shock but surprise.
She couldn't be… could she?
Sirius looked at his wife and finally noticed her small bump which was only noticeable if you looked closely. He was stunned speechless, even as his heart felt like it was going ninety miles an hour, it was pounding so hard.
Marlene beamed, knowing he'd finally worked it out. Taking one of his hands, she placed it on her bump.
"I had intended to surprise ye later, but as ye found the box, here we are."
"I…" he trailed off; he knew what he wanted to say but it was as though his mouth wouldn't work. At that moment he felt such elation at the fact they were going to have a baby and yet it didn't last long when the tendrils of worry and fear wormed their way in to constrict around his heart.
He'd always looked forward to the prospect of them being parents one day and now that the day had come, he was scared. Scared that he wouldn't be good enough, especially given the fact that he and Regulus hadn't had the best parents or childhood. Then there was Bellatrix - the cousin that had inherited the Black madness - who was currently in Azkaban serving a life sentence for killing two Muggleborns.
His heart began to pound a different rhythm now as panic set in. He began to breathe heavily as if he couldn't catch his breath.
Marlene knew he was having a panic attack; she knew the signs from seeing him have them at school before an exam. She put her hands on either side of his face so that he would meet her gaze.
"Breathe with me, Sirius, nice and slow like this," she said, taking a slow, even breath in before exhaling.
He managed to copy her, and after a few breaths he had calmed but his hands were shaking.
"I'm sorry, Marley… I just… I'm not going to be good enough."
The bad memories of his childhood – being hit when he'd returned for the Christmas holidays because he'd been put in Gryffindor, trying his best to protect Regulus from the abuse – seemed to outweigh any good ones he had as they threatened to overwhelm him then and there.
Marlene knew that he hadn't had a good childhood or relationship with his parents, he had left the first chance he could, finding a surrogate family in the Potters.
The news should have been a happy occasion for them both right now. But because of the memories that were haunting him, it was going to take time but she hadn't given up hope. She knew she had to get through to him somehow, to make him see that he was good, that he may be a Black but he was better than his parents.
Sirius hated the fact that she was seeing him like this. He felt ashamed, especially with what should be a joyous event, and he'd ruined it by how he was acting. He just couldn't shake the feeling that he wouldn't be good enough, so much so that it felt like it was eating him alive from the inside.
Placing a hand on his cheek, Marlene said softly, "Sirius, look at me."
He didn't look up right away. It took a few moments until grey eyes met dark hazel and she breathed a sigh of relief: that was the first step. He'd made eye contact so there was a chance that she could get through to him.
"All those bad memories from your childhood that you're remembering, they don't define you. You're a good man and you're going to be a wonderful father." There was truth and belief in her words as she looked at the man she loved with her whole heart.
"No… I… you don't know…"
"Oh, I do know, love and I'll tell ye how – Harry, our godson. Remember the day he was born? The way you were with him in St Mungo's?"
What Marlene said swiped the horrid memories away to replace them with a good one.
Sirius was like a big kid, as if all his Christmases had come at once when the news had arrived that Lily had had the baby – a little boy.
He and Marlene rushed straight to the hospital with him chuckling when she told him to slow down.
He did slow and looked at her. "I'm just excited, Marley; he's finally here."
Marlene smiled and held his hand as they turned to enter the Maternity Unit. They found Lily's room with relative ease.
With a stern look from Marlene, Sirius swallowed down his excitement for one short moment before knocking at the door. Shortly after, upon hearing a, "Come in!", they entered the room.
"I hear congratulations are in order!" He beamed, hugging James and then more tenderly Lily who was sitting up in bed smiling like the proud mother she was.
The moment Sirius caught sight of the baby boy in the cot by the bed, Marlene saw how he welled up, emotional.
"He's… Merlin, you two, he's beautiful."
"Yes, Harry really is. Would you like to hold him, Sirius?"
Sirius nodded and picked the baby up, being careful to support his head in the crook of his arm. "Hello, Harry."
The baby wriggled slightly, clearly getting comfortable, his emerald green eyes opening to look up at Sirius.
In that moment, Marlene knew a bond had been formed between the two, that they would be as thick as thieves and Sirius and she would dote on him.
As the memory faded, Sirius looked at his wife, trusting that earnestness in her eyes, knowing deep down that she was right. He would be a good dad. He smiled and leaned in to kiss her softly.
"I love you both so much."
"We know, we love you, too," Marlene replied, smiling as he moved closer to her and stroked her bump gently.
Sirius glanced at the lemon blanket and smiled, looking forward to making some new, happier memories with a family of his own.
Everything was right again, as it should be.
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I'll see you all soon,
S L Blake x