Back to Normal, Unfortunately
Man, it's nice to be back at the base, Remy thought exiting his room. I feel like a new man. Nothing like having a long hot shower and getting a good night's sleep in a soft, clean bed. Now if I had only spent it with my arms wrapped around a certain, lovely chérie…
"Morning, hommes," Remy yawned entering the kitchen. Piotr and Sabertooth were sitting at the counter.
"Good evening," Piotr corrected while eating a sandwich. "It is nearly six-thirty PM."
"Really? Wow, I slept a lot longer than I thought I did," Remy said heading for the coffee machine. "And what a nice sleep it was too. I'm surprised Mags didn't come boot me outta bed to do some training or something."
"Are you kidding?" Sabertooth snorted. "The boss has been busy working in his lab and office all day. Said it's the first time he's enjoyed a prolonged period of peace and quiet around here in months."
"Gee, what a surprise," Remy drawled getting down a mug. "So, how long have you two been up?"
"Eh, I've been awake off and on ever since we got back last night," Sabertooth grunted taking a swig from a tall amber-colored bottle. "Doze off every once in a while depending on how much booze I've had within arm's reach."
"That's nice, Sabes. It's good for you to catch a catnap or two between alcohol draughts," Remy rolled his eyes. "How about you, Piotr?"
"I have only been awake for a little while," Piotr said around a mouthful of sandwich. "Just long enough to eat and go to the bathroom. Afterward I might just go right back to bed."
"Hmmm, that's not a bad idea," Remy commented pouring himself a cup of coffee. "The sleep I just had was so good I might do the same thing."
"It would probably help if you did not have any coffee before you did," Piotr indicated Remy's mug. "The caffeine will keep you awake."
"Then I'll just have a little dinner for breakfast to go along with it. Same as you," Remy shrugged taking a sip of coffee. "Mmmm! Man, that's good! It's been way too long since I had a decent cup of coffee." He took a deep sniff of his mug. "Ahhh! Bonjour, my old friend! I missed you so much!"
"Sheesh, and you lunatics say I'm an addict," Sabertooth snorted. "At least I stay sober and sane after binging on booze."
"Gee, I wonder why," Remy mocked. "Besides, I don't go crazy or act nuts after drinking coffee."
"What about the time you wrecked the base and nearly killed us all after drinking an entire thermos of extra-strong mocha espresso?" Piotr asked.
"That was an honest mistake. I thought it was a carafe of rich, gourmet-quality hot cocoa," Remy waved taking a seat. "Don't bother me with details this early in the morning."
"It is six-thirty at night," Piotr reminded. "It is not morning."
"It is in Australia," Remy quipped. "Speaking of which, where's Pyro and what's he been up to?"
"Oh crud, don't get me started," Sabertooth growled. "That flame brain stayed up for hours last night fawning over his stupid dodo, building it a nest, babbling to it and keeping me awake!"
"Pyro was out here shortly before you were," Piotr told Remy. "He had some grapefruit juice and a few granola bars before going back to his room. He said he wanted to spend the day writing down all our time travels adventures in his journal while the memories were still fresh."
"Ha, I'd love to forget all about our stupid trip through time," Sabertooth spat. "Why do you think I'm drinking so much booze?"
"Besides the obvious?" Remy gave him a look.
"I tell ya, sometimes having a healing factor-affected brain is a curse," Sabertooth grunted taking another swig. "I'm almost tempted to have Bonzo go in and wipe all my time travel memories clean."
"If only he could wipe and replace your current personality along with 'em," Remy quipped sipping his coffee. "Where is Masty, anyway?"
"I think he is still in bed," Piotr said. "I believe he fell asleep immediately last night without getting a shower or even undressing first."
"Wow, he must have really tired," Remy raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I thought for sure he would've taken off his worn clothes and burned them all first."
"Please do not say that. You might give Pyro ideas," Piotr groaned. "And I like the Korean clothing Mastermind picked up during our trip. He looked good in them. I am sure once they are washed and dried he will appreciate them more along with all the memories associated with them."
"Wanna bet?" Sabertooth grunted.
"And just where are all the clothes you picked up during our trip?" Remy glanced at Sabertooth who was back to wearing a surprisingly clean version of his usual outfit. "You and Masty lost every stitch of your original clothing during our long travels through time."
"I have not seen you look this good since the last time we gave you a bath," Piotr studied Sabertooth's appearance. "I did not know you even owned a second set of clothes."
"Eh, my new stuff's soaking in a sink in the laundry room," Sabertooth grunted. "They still had a lot of ash, soot and lingering polecat musk on 'em. Gotta admit those old Renaissance clothes felt pretty good."
"And they look good too," Remy smirked recalling one of Sabertooth's Renaissance silk garments was the top of a modified woman's dress. "You should pose for Piotr sometime. I bet he'd love to paint a portrait of you wearing them."
"I would?" Piotr blinked in surprise. Remy subtly nudged his leg. "Uh, I mean I would."
"Huh, that's not a bad idea," Sabertooth mulled it over. "Famous bigshots are always commissioning portraits of themselves. Might even be worth money someday too. And it'll be one more thing for me to lord over the Runt."
"Oh, I'm sure Wolverine would be unable to control himself if he saw it," Remy grinned.
"I should start some laundry too before I go back to sleep," Piotr said finishing his sandwich. "Especially underwear."
"Good idea," Remy agreed. "If you start your load now, I'll toss it in the dryer before I start mine and go back to bed."
"Really?" Piotr blinked. "Thank you. Are you sure it will not force you to stay up? I do not want to be a bother."
"It's no problem, homme," Remy waved. "I'll spend the time nabbing a bite to eat while studying some of the thieves tools my possible-future self gave me along with my new trench coat. Maybe even check out some videos from the machine's salvaged memory core."
"Oh, I would like to see those too," Piotr smiled. "I hope there is lots of footage of the many cities and landscapes we visited. I was not able to make nearly enough sketches of them all."
"A shot or two of some of the food we had during the trip wouldn't hurt either," Sabertooth admitted grudgingly. "Some of that stuff was pretty good. Especially the meat and booze!"
"Might be hard to reconstruct certain dishes just from the pictures, but we can try," Remy said. "I'll let you guys know if I spot anything good." He stretched and gave out a long yawn. "Man, I still feel so tired and worn out. I need a vacation."
"We just went on a vacation," Piotr reminded. "An unintentional and involuntary one, but still…"
"You call that madness-packed ordeal we went through a vacation?" Sabertooth yelled. "Are you insane? What am I saying?"
"Whatever you wanna call it, the effects and consequences from our time travel trip are here to stay," Remy said. "It'll probably take a while for us to fall back into our old routines…"
BOOOOOOM!
"Huh?" Piotr yelped as an explosion suddenly rocked the kitchen. "What was that?"
"Do you even have to ask?" Sabertooth gave him a look.
"YAY! IT WORKED!" Pyro whooped somewhere in the distance. "COME AND GET IT, PIPPI! IF YOU LIKED ALL THE YUMMY NUTS I ROASTED FOR YOU LAST NIGHT, YOU'LL LOVE MY THRICE-BAKED PISTACHIO PUDDING!"
"AAAHHHHHH! WHAT IS THIS STUFF?!" Mastermind was heard wailing. "HELP! IT'S FLOODING MY ROOM! IT'S POURING THROUGH THE VENTS! IT TASTES LIKE…PUDDING? BLEAH!"
FA-WOOOOOOM!
"GAAAHHHHHH! PYRO YOU IDIOT!" Magneto roared. "YOUR STUPID DODO JUST SET MY ENTIRE LABORATORY ON FIRE! ALL THE WORK FROM THE MOST PRODUCTIVE DAY I'VE HAD IN MONTHS WENT UP IN SMOKE! LITERALLY!"
"Py-roh! Py-roh!" Pippi cheered.
"You were saying?" Sabertooth glanced at Remy.
"On second thought," Remy blinked.
"Oh dear," Piotr groaned. "Here we go again."
"Well, so much for heading back to bed," Remy sighed finishing his coffee. "Might as well go check out the videos from the machine's memory core. Especially the ones where Sabes is high on catnip and valerian…"
"WHAT?!" Sabertooth did a spit take. "There's video of that?!"
"Maybe," Remy smirked teasingly. "I wouldn't be surprised considering how often they happened. Hmmm, I wonder how much Wolverine would pay to see a clip or two of 'em…"
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Sabertooth lunged at him. Remy quickly dodged and ran out of the kitchen laughing. "GET BACK HERE, CAJUN! IF THE RUNT VIEWS ONE SECOND OF THAT ALLEGED VIDEO, YOU'RE DEAD! DEAD YOU HEAR ME?!"
"Depends how much it's worth to ya!" Remy hooted as Sabertooth chased after him. "Sounds like the beginning of a high-stakes bidding war to me!"
"I'LL SHOW YOU A WAR!" Sabertooth roared. "ONE THAT'LL MAKE ALL THE OTHER WARS WE ENDED UP IN THE MIDDLE OF LOOK LIKE TEA PARTIES!"
"AAAGGGHHHHHH! MY OFFICE! WHAT DID THAT BIG-BILLED MENACE DO TO MY OFFICE?!" Magneto was heard shouting in fury. "THAT'S IT! GET BACK HERE YOU PRIMITIVE FLIGHTLESS CHICKEN! THE DODO IS ABOUT TO GO EXTINCT AGAIN…OW! IT BIT ME!"
"Do-doh! Py-roh!" Pippi cooed.
"WAAAHHHHHH! HELP! I'M DROWNING IN PUDDING!" Mastermind cried. "IT'S BLOCKING THE DOOR! I CAN'T GET OUT! I CAN'T SWIM! AND I CAN'T EAT MY WAY FREE! GLUUUBBBPPP!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Pyro cackled maniacally. "ROASTED PISTACHIO PUDDING FOR EVERYONE!"
"Oh dear. Looks things are back to normal around here," Piotr groaned. "Unfortunately."
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.