Standoff
By
DrummondType2
A/N: This was inspired by a fanart done by Minakata Sunao.
Shizuru was straddling Natsuki's stomach, holding her naginata with one hand. The blade was facing Natsuki's throat, but was several inches away. Natsuki's right arm was pinned under Shizuru's knee. The older girl was holding a length of Natsuki's hair to her cheek, her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face.
Natsuki was holding a pistol in her left hand, not quite to Shizuru's head. She still had the range of motion that it was an option, but Natsuki couldn't bring herself to put the weapon to Shizuru's skull, let alone pull the trigger.
"I love you, Natsuki," Shizuru was sobbing, "I love you so much. But I…."
Neither of them could engage the other without receiving a fatal wound. Natsuki knew that. She'd been fighting for so long, she couldn't remember a time in her life when she wasn't fighting.
At the age of seven, the fight had begun. She'd had to fight for her very life, her small body hooked up to machines, her head covered in a cap to hide the surgical scars, a breathing mask strapped to her face. She had fought to live, because she had to make the people who killed her mother pay.
She'd studied, and trained. She'd learned skills that would serve her in her clandestine mission. She learned to pick locks, to look for clues. She learned to inflict lighting fast strikes that would cause devastating and debilitating injuries to her targets. She had cultivated a heart of ice and stone, so that when the bastards who'd killed her mother were at her feet, begging for her mercy, she would show them none.
And it was all nonsense. Because this one girl, this emotional wreck of a girl who was now sitting on top of her, had melted her icy heart, and turned it into flowing water that wore down the hardened stone. Shizuru had made her realize that she couldn't be alone.
And now she knew. She knew that if she'd had those men at her mercy...they would have received her mercy.
~~Shizuru has betrayed me in the worst way possible~~Natsuki thought~~That's what Yukino said the other night. She took something from me that I can never get back. But I…don't want to hurt her. I don't want to make her suffer. I just want my friend back.~~
"We can't win, Shizuru," Natsuki said with a quiet understanding, "If you move to strike me with your blade, I'll have to shoot. If I move to shoot, you'll have to strike me down. It's a Mexican standoff. Neither of us can attack without suffering a loss."
"Natsuki," Shizuru's voice was pleading, "I don't want to hurt you, though I fear I have already done so."
"I don't want to hurt you either, Shizuru," Natsuki said, and now she felt tears welling up in her own eyes, "You were my friend. You were the person I could always rely on. You were the person I trusted with my very life. And I was blind, Shizuru. I should have noticed how you felt. I should have seen what was happening to you. If I wasn't the friend you deserved, I'm sorry."
Natsuki felt tears fall onto her cheeks, Shizuru's crying now intensified, her body wracked by sobs.
"Forgive me, Natsuki," Shizuru clutched the lock of midnight blue hair to her face, "I was…I…You tried so many times to warn me, to tell me that being at your side was dangerous. You tried to keep me distant to keep me safe, when all along, I was the one who was the most dangerous of all.
"I knew that my feelings for you were indecent. I knew that this love I felt in my heart was wicked and couldn't be returned. I thought…I thought that if I could just be near you, it would be enough. To see you happy should have been enough.
"But the Festival came, and…"
"And neither of us can win, Shizuru," Natsuki said gently, "I know that, Shizuru. If I'm defeated, you die. If you're defeated, I die. Which means that the death of one of us would be the end of both of us. You know that, too."
"I'm so sorry, Natsuki. I…I shouldn't have burdened you with my sickness."
Natsuki took a breath, and banished her Element, "Shizuru, I won't run. Let me up."
Shizuru blinked, then nodded. She banished her own Element, and slid off of Natsuki's stomach, kneeling on the floor beside her. Natsuki sat up. She put a hand on Shizuru's shoulders, leaning forward and kissing her tenderly.
"Natsu--ki?"
"You're not wicked for your feelings, Shizuru," Natsuki said, "Because if I'd known, if you'd told me how you'd felt…I would have said 'yes'."
Shizuru blinked, her eyes welling up with tears again, "How can you say that? After what I've done!?"
"Shizuru…do you think that there's any crime you could commit, any betrayal you could engage in, that would make me love you any less?"
Shizuru smiled timidly, "Natsuki…"
Natsuki wrapped her arms firmly around Shizuru, looking at their CHILDs doing battle outside.
"I wish I could stay with you like this forever, Shizuru. If there's something more after this world, perhaps I can."
Shizuru followed Natsuki's gaze, and realized what she intended to do. She nodded, "Go ahead."
"Duran! Load Silver Cartridge! Fire!"
They pressed their lips together, and for a single, perfect moment of time, everything was frozen and it was just the two of them, their hearts beating in unison. And then, just as quickly, they were gone, and all was silence.