A/N: I've never written such fanfiction before that's a rewrite of an already-existing episode of the source material, and we all know how much this community hates it when authors seem to never stop doing this with certain episodes (like, oh, I don't know, a certain episode where Lincoln's family treats him like shit because he's believed to be bad luck). After repeat viewings of "Feast or Family," it occurred to me that based on some of Lynn, Sr.'s dialogue as well as his interactions with Luan throughout the episode that the same plot could work just as well, maybe a little better with Luna instead. So, I decided to just write this to satisfy my own curiosity and see how it could actually work… obviously, I did have to make a few little adjustments throughout, but I especially fixed the ending, which I thought could have been handled better in the actual episode.
It wasn't exactly the loudest day in the Loud House, but it also wasn't exactly the quietest either. On a day like this, some of the various different siblings happened to be in the living room engaging in some kind of pastime, whether it was Lincoln reading a new comic book, Luan playing with Mr. Coconuts for Lily's amusement, or even Lana engaged in a tug-of-war struggle over a dog bone with Charles – all the while, family patriarch, Lynn Loud, Sr., was blissfully clanging away on his cowbell, until a tantalizing aroma entered his nostrils that caused him to stop and savor the scent that was exciting his nostrils.
"What's that smell?" He asked.
Some of the other siblings in the living room happened to be participating in certain activities that were a little on the smelly side, and believed that they could possibly be the source of said smell their father was asking about.
"Oh, I just put on a fresh coat…" said Leni as she showed her dad the new color of polish she had just applied to her dainty fingernails.
"I have a few things decomposing…" said Lucy as she opened a tiny little coffin she had in her hands to reveal the deceased contents that were contained within.
"Just airing out the dogs!" Lynn, Jr. exclaimed with her feet propped up on the couch, both of them covered in one of her fetid and rancid pairs of lucky socks.
Thankfully, none of these things seemed to be the source of the aroma that their father smelled.
"Okay… well, it's not Leni's nails, or rotting flesh… and it's definitely not feet! This smell is… divine…" the delicious aroma returned to the nostrils of the man's large nose as it lured him out of the living room and into the kitchen, where he found his third-eldest daughter at the kitchen counter – this seemed to be the source of the aroma. "Luna-Tuna, it's you?"
With a small plate bearing a sandwich in hand, the purple-clad, freckle-faced rocker turned to greet her father without any ounce of her usual enthusiasm or charisma: "Oh. Hey there, Pop-Star."
This grilled sandwich filled with baked ham and melted cheeses was an item that a chef like Lynn, Sr. was easily able to identify as he inquired, "Is that a Monte Cristo sandwich? On Brioche?"
Luna responded with an eye roll and a loud groan, seemingly disappointed with her culinary creation.
"Aw, fudge; I totally borked it! It was supposed to be on bread!" The rocker carelessly flipped the plate over her head, which sent the sandwich flying across the kitchen, much to her father's horror.
The balding man made a mad dive across the kitchen to catch the sandwich before it could hit the floor – after all, why waste perfectly good food like that? After he managed to catch the sandwich in his hands, he arose to his feet again to explain to his daughter: "No, Brioche is bread; it's French! What's the occasion?"
Luna sighed before she began to explain to her father why she would be putting together such a sandwich: "We picked electives in school and I got locked out of my top two choices: Rock History 101 and Advanced Shredding. Now, I'm stuck takin' Intro to Cooking… ugh, this elective is really Dragsville…"
As if his smelling was not the only sense of his that had been excited, Lynn, Sr.'s taste buds felt like they had been given a jumpstart as he sampled the sandwich Luna had made. "If you ask me, this sandwich is a one-way ticket to Tasty Town! Luna, you have some real talent!"
"Really?" Luna asked before she shrugged. "I dunno… cookin' ain't really my jam…"
"Actually, cooking is a lot like jamming: a balance of creativity and performance…" said Lynn, Sr. as he began reveling in the prospect of being able to pass some of his knowledge and expertise onto one of his children. "Just give me a chance to show you how fun cooking can be… it's always been my dream to share my passion with one of you kids."
Luna still wasn't exactly sold on the idea – cooking still seemed really boring to her, but her father's enthusiasm over mentoring her in such a course made it seem like taking such an elective could actually be tolerable… what has she got to lose? With another shrug of her shoulders, she said, "I'm in."
Lynn, Sr. was so thrilled that he began cheering… which, unfortunately, resulted in some bits of chewed-up sandwich flying out of his mouth and landing right on Luna's face much to her disgust.
"Ugh! Say it, don't spray it, man!" Luna barked.
The next thing Luna knew, she was back in the kitchen with her father, who was placing some rather apropos headwear atop their noggins.
"Here we go, matching chef hats! You gotta look good to cook good!" Lynn, Sr. exclaimed.
"Well, that shouldn't be too difficult for me!" Luna responded in a somewhat cocky manner as she adjusted her new headwear to where it would rest on her head a little more comfortably.
"Now, let's see that syllabus," said Lynn, Sr.
Luna pulled a folded slip of paper out of her skirt pocket and handed it to her father to look over; the list detailed each of the cooking assignments she would have to complete over the next four weeks in order to pass her elective, and this week's assignment was a rather simple one: eggs.
"Ah, yes; first assignment: eggs! You can boil 'em, poach 'em, fry 'em, shirr 'em, quiche 'em, scotch 'em, benedict 'em…" Lynn, Sr. trailed off when he saw he had lost his daughter's interest with his ramblings, but he quickly attempted to save face. "Just trying to make a point that eggs are like the versatile rock star of the food world…"
For a visual demonstration, Lynn, Sr. cracked three eggs into a skillet and showed Luna how the contents of said eggs formed the shape of a pair of eyes, and a long rock star tongue sticking out, which did bring about a little chuckle from his rocker daughter.
"See? I knew I could get you to crack a smile! Go ahead, give it a fry…"
Lynn, Sr. handed the skillet to Luna as she stepped over to the stove and placed it onto an already-burning eye in her very first attempt at cooking. Shortly thereafter, the father was sitting over at the breakfast nook off to the side, where his daughter served him the contents from the skillet onto his plate.
"So, how'd I do?" Luna asked.
Lynn, Sr. inspected the eggs, which turned out far more spectacular than he could have even imagined: Luna had managed to cook the eggs into an omelet shaped like his face! And, just to give it a little extra flair, she added a little sprig of parsley at the top of his head, much like the little tuft of hair that protrudes from the top of his middle-aged balding head. It was most certainly a sight to behold, and one that was tugging at his heartstrings, as he got a little emotional…
"I've always wondered how I'd look in egg… it's just… more beautiful than I ever imagined…" he sniffled and held the plate close to his face, but alas, the family canine chose that moment to leap into the air, snatch the omelet off of the pet with his teeth, and run off with it – much to Lynn, Sr.'s chagrin. "Bad Charles! Stop eating my face!"
Lynn, Sr. leapt out of his chair to chase after the pooch eating his eggish likeness which brought another chuckle of amusement to Luna; the satisifed rocker pulled her syllabus and a pen from her skirt pocket to check off her first assignment that had been completed.
For the following week's assignment, Luna would have to prepare a chicken – including carving it up to serve. As a somewhat overprotective parent, Lynn, Sr. ordinarily was very warily cautious about any of his young children handling such sharp instruments and utensils like knives, so as a chef training his daughter, he made it a special point to ensure that safety was of the utmost concern with Luna handling carving knives of any kind… but, of course, he still wanted to maintain a fun atmosphere to help her enjoy her assignments as well, and encouraged her to be creative while completing said assignments. That evening, after the golden brown bird had been resting on the kitchen counter, it came time to carve it up for serving, and this is where Luna put her creativity into action: having grabbed a pair of carving knives, Luna sliced into the bird as if she were crashing into a set of drums; at first, Lynn, Sr. was a little taken aback by her unorthodox technique, but by the time she was finished, Luna had most adequately carved the bird, separating the light meat from the dark, as well as the wings and leg quarters.
Needless to say, her father was most impressed, as he complimented, "Wow, honey! Great job with the knife work! Fast as lightning, yet careful with attention to detail!"
With a smile across her freckled face, Luna grabbed a pair of tongs and began transferring the carved chicken meat onto a large serving platter, after which, Lynn, Sr. instructed her that a good chef always inspects her serving platter carefully to make sure nothing is out of the ordinary. Crouching down to bring her eye level closer to her platter, Luna's eyes danced across the succulent carvings of golden brown poultry until they landed on some kind of a wooden rod with a rounded tip, which took her by surprise… a little prank from her father as he pulled this inedible object out of the platter…
"It's a drumstick! Get it? Drumstick?" He chuckled over his little prank, of which Luna also couldn't help but chuckle at as well – she certainly could appreciate musical-based puns.
"Well, aren't you a fun guy?" Luna asked before she grabbed a mushroom and tossed it into his father's mouth.
Lynn, Sr. happily munched on the mushroom until his taste buds realized something was not quite right, as he spat some of it out. "Ugh, that one had some dirt on it…"
Another assignment successfully checked off of Luna's syllabus.
Her third week's assignment initially filled her with a little dread: baking a cake. Baking was certainly not one of her things; the last time she tried baking anything was when she and girlfriend, Sam, were tasked with trying to bake an apple pie as part of the annual Royal Woods Astonishing Quest… needless to say, that did not turn out so well, which is why this particular assignment was not one she was exactly looking forward to. Nevertheless, Lynn, Sr. did whatever he could to make the assignment as fun and enjoyable as possible, which is why he decided to break out into song while she baked and prepared a towering chocolate lava cake, of which the Loud House's resident rocker was unable to resist joining in on as well: a most appropriate selection – Weird Al Yankovic's Eat It. It certainly helped the entire baking process go a lot smoother, and sure enough, Luna was adding the finishing touches to the cake by shaking a little handheld sifter atop the cake to dust it with powdered sugar. Like before, Lynn, Sr. sat at the breakfast nook watching his daughter accomplish her assignment.
"There; finished the lava cake!" Luna exclaimed, as she sat the sifter aside and allowed her father to inspect her work.
Pulling a loupe out of his pants pocket, Lynn, Sr. brought it to his eye and inspected it like a jeweler inspecting the value of a precious gemstone; he was thoroughly pleased with his daughter's efforts as he told her, "Well, it's got the four 'C's of a good cake: chocolate, chocolate, chocolate… and creativity!"
Luna was so satisfied she was finally able to pull off completing an entire baking assignment; her elated pride was shared with her father in the form of a high-five. All of the sudden, the two heard a low rumbling that seemed to actually be coming from the cake; another look showed them that the cake appeared to actually be trembling, which was something Lynn, Sr. had a funny feeling about…
"Uh, honey, how much baking powder did you use?" He asked her.
By this time, a nervous look consumed Luna's face, as she drummed the tips of her fingers together and answered, "Gee, I dunno… we got to singin', and I guess I got a lil' distracted…"
Upstairs in her bedroom, the resident beauty queen known as Lola Loud was, as per usual with her, standing and admiring her gorgeous reflection in her mirror, when all of the sudden, her concentration was interrupted by an eruption of chocolate lava bursting through the floor beneath her, which sent her flying through the roof. Back downstairs, the kitchen was now an absolute mess with smudges and blotches of chocolate covering any and every surface you can imagine.
By this time, Luna feared she was in major trouble with her dad for this massive and messy mishap, of which she began to apologize for: "Whoa! My bad, Dad!"
Lynn, Sr. didn't seem too angry – in fact, he actually seemed quite pleased, as a blob of chocolate dripped from the ceiling and into his mouth, much to his pleasure. "Mmm! No, Luna, I lava it! Happy accidents in the kitchen are part of the fun!"
Feeling encouraged by this, Luna joined her father in dancing around the kitchen to catch dripping chocolate into their mouths with the same childlike whimsy as the simple and wholesome pleasure of attempting to catch snowflakes on your tongue.
Yet another assignment checked off of the syllabus, though the fourth and final assignment that lay before Luna the following week would be her most harrowing yet…
"Final exam," said Lynn, Sr. as he read over the syllabus another evening in the kitchen. "Cooking dinner for ten or more people."
Luna could feel her nerves wrecking all over again at such a prospect. "Oh, an entire dinner… that seems intense…"
Lynn, Sr. did his best to ease his nervous daughter's tension: "Intense, but fun! The best part about being a chef is bringing others joy with your food! And I've got the perfect dish…"
With the flick of his wrists, Lynn, Sr. pulled away a sheet that was covering an array of different items that were to be used in tonight's dinner recipe, as Luna scanned and took inventory of each item…
"Pasta… clams… butter… Geo?!" Upon closer inspection, Luna discovered that the family hamster had somehow gotten up onto the kitchen counter, and happily munched away on an almost-melted stick of butter inside his little ball. "Dad, we can't cook our hammy!"
Taken by surprise, Lynn, Sr. began shooing the hamster away from their prep area. "What? No, no, scram, Geo!"
With that, the hamster scurried away inside his ball, while Lynn, Sr. started to enlighten his daughter on the recipe she would be preparing for dinner this evening – a recipe that held a special place within his heart…
"It's my famous Lynn-guine, the first dish I ever served anyone, and now, it's your turn," said Lynn, Sr. with a most encouraging smile.
Luna was still nervous over the prospect of preparing such a huge feast; she asked, "You really think I can pull it off?"
"Of course!" Lynn, Sr. exclaimed while he wrapped a supportive arm around his daughter's shoulder. "And besides, who better to test your chops on than your own, loving, supportive family?"
Unfortunately, said loving, supportive family was not exactly being helpful, as they all sat in the dining room where they noisily argued and bickered amongst themselves, each of them so crazed with hunger that Lana was even chasing after Charles with her silverware, ready to eat him if dinner was not served soon. Lola was a lot more vocal about her current condition; she even went so far as to yell towards the direction of the kitchen: "I'M GETTING HANGRY!"
"QUIET DOWN OUT THERE!" Lynn, Sr. yelled back into the dining room, as he and Luna stood by in the entryway, both of them holding onto sizable vats containing tonight's dinner. After a sigh, he gave his daughter a little uplifting boost: "You got this, kiddo."
Still feeling like a nervous wreck, Luna took a deep breath, and marched into the dining room, where upon she and had dad made their way around the table and dished out heaping servings of the pasta recipe that had been prepared for them that evening onto each of the plates that were set at the table – even Charles and Cliff had a place set up at one corner of the table for them. One by one, each of the other family members took a moment to observe the incredibly appetizing-looking meal that had been served to them.
Finally, after she finished serving her family, Luna took a brief moment to explain what it is they would be enjoying tonight: "Okay, so what you have in front of you is Dad's famous Lynn-guine and clams. It's prepared al dente in a beurre blanc sauce, and finished with just a dash-o-parsley. Dig in, fam!"
The family did, indeed, dig into their dinner, as each of them happily grabbed their forks and shoveled the buttery noodles and savory clam strips into their mouths – Charles and Cliff even lapped up a number strands off of their plate at the same time and slurped their way to each other's mouths in an awkward kiss very reminiscent of The Lady and The Tramp. Luna and Lynn, Sr. stood by in anticipation as they listened to the symphony of ecstatic moans of pleasure from the family who offered a visual form of approval over Luna's meal in the form of a big smile, thumbs up, or even both. As they stepped back into the kitchen, the two could still hear the rest of the family's enjoyment of the meal, which made not only Luna feel proud of herself for pulling off such a tremendous assignment, but also Lynn, Sr. feel proud of his daughter for acing her elective with flying colors; they both cheered and danced around in the kitchen over the accomplishment.
"Oh, ya crushed it!" Lynn, Sr. exclaimed before he grabbed a pen and the syllabus to check off Luna's final exam.
Luna, meanwhile, could feel her heart flutter. "Man, you were right, Pops… seeing those empty plates and happy faces is givin' me some warm feels…"
"Oh, honey; that…" Lynn, Sr. started to say, until he realized what the probable cause for Luna's current condition was. "Oh, that might be because the oven's still on…"
He reached over and turned a dial on the oven to turn it off, but Luna assured her father her feelings were as real as she felt them to be. "Naw, I mean it; that felt almost as good as a stage dive into a crowd of cheering fans! I'm kinda bummed my elective's over; I've had so much fun cookin' with you, Pops."
Lynn, Sr. beamed as he reached over and placed a hand on Luna's shoulder. "Oh, well, I'm glad to hear that, cause the fun doesn't have to end…"
With that, the proud father pulled a rope from the ceiling to reveal a banner he had made up for the occasion as a big surprise; upon studying the banner, Luna saw that it had the logo of her father's restaurant emblazoned across it, but with one significant difference:
LYNN & LUNA'S TABLE ?
"Yeah! That's right, honey!" Lynn, Sr. exclaimed in excitement. "I want you to carry on the Loud legacy and take over the restaurant someday!"
Luna was absolutely flabbergasted by her father's surprise, she did not even know how to react to this proposal as her head twitched and flopped about. "What? Me? No. Who? Me? Really?"
"Ah, I can see it now…" continued Lynn, Sr. as he began to fantasize about he and his daughter taking the restaurant world by storm. "You and me, a couple of rockin' restauranteurs!"
Luna was a little unsure about this; joining her father in the restaurant business was certainly not something she had given any thought to whatsoever – but, on the other hand… "Well, I have been havin' a lot of fun…"
"And there's so much more to be had!" Lynn, Sr. exclaimed.
Perhaps this could be something Luna could apply herself to in the future, as she made up her mind and told her dad, "Let's do it!"
By that point, Lynn, Sr. became overcome with a swell of emotions. "Oh, it's happening! This might be the happiest moment of my life!"
He grabbed his daughter and pulled her into an incredibly tight and smothering embrace - a tad uncomfortable to be sure, but Luna knew how much this meant to her dad, so she, too, wrapped her arms around him and returned said embrace.
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the otherwise loud Loud House; Luan was sleeping peacefully in her bottom bunk, but was jolted awake by a sudden loud noise that killed the peaceful silence that would be conducive to a good night's sleep…
GOOONNNNG!
A sound that she assumed could only come from one source as she began to vent her anger at the sister sleeping in the bunk above her head. "LUNA! I thought we made a roommate pact: I don't dip your hand in warm water while you're sleeping, and you don't play your gong after ten P.M.!"
The rocker's slumber had also been greatly disturbed, but she was not the source of such noise, as she peered downward into her younger roommate's bunk and told her, "Wasn't me, dude."
GOOONNNNG!
There it went again. The two sisters snapped their heads over to their opened bedroom door to discover it was actually their father who was the source of this unwanted noise interrupting their sleep as he crashed away on a little gong.
"Dad? What are you doing?" Luan asked while she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
"Maybe he's sleep-gongin'…" deduced Luna as she attempted to go back to sleep, only for her dad to step over and prevent her from doing so.
"A good chef rises early to source the freshest ingredients!" Lynn, Sr. explained to Luna.
Looking down at the alarm clock that was on their nightstand, Luna saw that it four o'clock in the morning – an absolutely insane time to be doing anything as far as she was concerned. "But, it's…"
"Fun, right?!" Lynn, Sr. interrupted her. "All good practice for when you take over the restaurant! Wait till you meet our fish lady, you're gonna love her!"
Lynn, Sr. flew out of the room, while Luna groaned from exhaustion; sure, she had just agreed to her father's proposal of joining him in taking the food world by storm, and eventually taking over the restaurant someday, though now, she had begun to believe she will end up regretting this after all.
Shortly thereafter, Lynn, Sr. had brought Luna with him down to the Royal Woods farmer's market alongside the docks of Lake St. Byron; she was still so groggy from having her sleep interrupted that she had not even bothered to change out of her long purple night shirt and into some clothing that would be far more appropriate to wear out in public. Meanwhile, Lynn, Sr. approached a fish stand that was run by a colleague of his – an elderly, puffy-faced woman with dark curly hair. She produced a grand-daddy-sized fish to offer him, of which he happily took in a big whiff, savoring its aroma.
"Oh, yeah! That's the good stuff, Deb," he said as he took the fish and prepared to toss it over to his daughter. "Grab a sniff of the ocean, Luna!"
Luna, on the other hand, was practically asleep on her feet, and found herself tumbling to the ground below after being knocked down by a humongous fish that her father tossed to her. Dazed and confused, this was not shaping up to being a good day as far as she was concerned… but, it would only continue to get worse.
The next thing Luna knew, she was back in the kitchen as she whipped a concoction in a large mixing bowl, twirling her whisk feverishly while her father cheered her own with rather aggressive enthusiasm.
"Fluffier!"
Luna whisked harder.
"Frothier!"
Luna whisked even harder.
"FOAMIER!"
By this time, Luna was so flustered and she whisked so fast and so hard that the whisk flew out of her hand and out the window; she groaned as she turned to addressed her father: "Alright, Dad; we need to talk…"
After dipping his finger into the concoction to sample a taste of it for himself, Lynn, Sr. had to agree – but, for a completely different reason. "Aw, we sure do, honey; this sauce is amazing! I think we found ourselves a new menu item!"
"But…" Luna tried to say.
"Hang on, I gotta call my sauce guy," interrupted Lynn, Sr. as he pulled his cellphone out of his pants pocket, and tapped one of his contacts to ring up another restaurant colleague of his. "Aye, Mikey Marinara! You're never gonna believe what my daughter made!"
As Lynn, Sr. stepped out of the kitchen to continue his little phone conversation, all Luna could do was groan in frustration; she was not enjoying any of this in the least, and it still kept getting worse.
The next day at Royal Woods High school, Luna sat at a table in the cafeteria with Sam and their fellow bandmates, Sully and Mazzy; at last, Luna felt as though she could just relax and enjoy the company of her bandmates as they talked shop about their music, with drummer Mazzy currently sharing an old experience with them.
"So, I laid down this really sick beat, and…"
"Hey, honey!" A familiar voice suddenly called out.
Turning around, Luna and her bandmates were quite surprised to see the middle-aged, balding man in the dark green sweater that was now accessorized with a name tag that read 'GUEST' approaching their table with a picnic basket in his hands.
"Dad?!" Luna shrieked. She turned to her friends with a nervous chuckle before she turned back to her father and lowered her voice to ask, "What are ya doin' here?"
"I brought lunch!" Lynn, Sr. explained as her knelt down beside her to rest the picnic basket on the floor and unpack its contents.
"But, I already got lunch…" insisted Luna as she showed her father her now-emptied brown paper bag that had previous contained the midday meal she had finished consuming for nourishment.
"Oh, you can't be eating basic P.B. & J's! If you're gonna take over the restaurant, you need to work on refining your palette!"
Lynn, Sr. had begun to dig around in the picnic basket, and one by one, removed its contents; first, he rolled a large wheel of rather unappetizing-looking (and smelling) cheese onto the table:
"Okay, I got Limburger cheese…"
The strong and pungent aroma of this cheese was enough to sicken Luna's bandmates, as both Sam and Sully tried their best to repress the urges they felt to throw up at their table; Mazzy, however, was unable to repress that same urge, and quickly turned her head away as stomach acid erupted from her mouth and spilled onto the floor behind her.
"Next, a main course of beef Bourguignon…"
A measly little Ziploc bag was, perhaps, not the best container with which to hold a stew, as Lynn, Sr.'s careless flinging of the bag onto the surface of the table caused the contents within to break free from its containment and splatter the faces of Luna's bandmates, much to her horror; but, there was still one more item that her father had brought with him…
"And don't worry, I brought desert; it's an oldie, but a goody… it's baked Alaska! Well, almost…"
From the chef's perspective, the baked Alaska's appearance was not quite up to his standard – the meringue topping was not adequately browned for its appearance… so saying, after he covered his face with a welder's mask, Lynn, Sr. produced an acetylene torch in an attempt to further toast the meringue topping, but grossly underestimated the torch's powerful heat: the entire dish ended up catching fire, much his horror, as he attempted to blow it out himself, though it did little to extinguish the bright blue blaze. Instead, the smoke from the small fire activated the fire alarm as well as the sprinkler system, and soon, everyone in the cafeteria was getting soaked by the indoor rain shower; Luna's bandmates made a break for it, and while she attempted to cover herself with her brown paper bag, all she could do was watch in embarrassment and humiliation as her friends left her behind because of her dad's antics.
Much later in the afternoon, Luna trudged into the bedroom she shares with Luan, while the comedienne sat perched atop of her stool playing with Mr. Coconuts. The pair watched as the purple-clad rocker flopped herself down into the dip of her beanbag chair, and blew an exasperated raspberry out through her pursed lips.
"Hey, why the long face there, Lunes? Is it a hard knock life for ya?" Luan asked through Mr. Coconuts.
Luna merely rolled her eyes before she told her sister, "Between you and me, dude… I don't wanna cook anymore. Pop's kinda takin' all the fun outta it, and I dunno how to tell 'im… he's just so happy, y'know?"
"Hmm… maybe you could try to break it to him gently?" Luan suggested through Mr. Coconuts. "Ya wouldn't wanna roast him, if ya know what I mean!"
Luna let out a rather loud sigh as she arose to her feet again and decided that what she really needed at this moment was to clear her mind with a little music.
"Man, I just need to bust out some jams right now…" she said, but when she stepped over to her guitar stand on the other side of the room, she noticed that her purple AXE was missing. For a brief moment, her eyes bulged out of their sockets in shock, but she then quickly snapped her head towards her younger roommate and began to interrogate her. "Alright, brah; where is it?!"
"Where's what?" Luan asked, not knowing what it was her sister was talking about.
"You know bloody well what!" Luna snapped, rage seeming to cause her to slip into her old habit of speaking more like a Brit. "Me AXE!"
"How should I know?" Luan asked with a shrug. "Am I my sister's AXE keeper?"
"You're the only other one who dwells in these quarters, you're the only other one who would know what happened to it!" Luna's accusations were not entirely without justification, as it was not at all uncommon for either she or Luan to violate each other's personal boundaries and hide something of the other's while their anger brought on by one of their sisterly quarrels dictated their begrudging actions.
Nevertheless, Luan really did have nothing to do with the disappearance of Luna's prized, purple, electric guitar, as she continued to deny any responsibility of such. "Well, I don't know what happened to it!"
"Then what in the blazes happened to me bloody AXE?!" Luna barked as she clinched her fists and gritted her teeth.
"Maybe you oughta try askin' Paul Bunyan!" Luan suggested through Mr. Coconuts with another fit of obnoxious laughter.
If there was one thing that Luna did not need at the moment, it was Luan making a nuisance of herself with that blasted dummy of hers, as she grabbed the hunk of wood by his neck, yanked him out of Luan's hand, and threw him through the open window into the backyard below, much to Luan's horror.
"HEY! That was harsh!" Luan wasted no time in racing out of the room, presumably to run out into the backyard to retrieve her wooden companion.
Luna, meanwhile, went on a mad search throughout the rest of the house to try and find where her missing AXE could possibly be; to use a common British phrase with which she was most likely familiar with, she went mad as a bag of ferrets trying to find it. As it was not hidden under their bunk beds or in their closet, she went to numerous other spots within the Loud property she likes to jam to see if maybe she left it there without remembering, but a search of the attic, basement, living room, and out in the garage turned up absolutely nothing. Where was her AXE? Maybe one of her other siblings have seen it or know of its whereabouts? The first place she checked was with her only brother – after all, he was certainly one of her most trusted siblings, as she stepped into his makeshift bedroom in the upstairs linen closet, where she found the snow-capped boy dressed in a cowboy costume while he pretended to play a game of cards with his favorite stuffed toy, Bun-Bun.
"Linc! Do you know where me AXE is? I can't find it anywhere, bro!" Luna fretted.
Lincoln shook his head and apologized, "Sorry, Luna; I don't know where it is."
Luna sadly sighed, but there was another sibling she could think to check with; she then stepped into the room to her right, where she found the Loud House's pint-sized Brainiac studying some equations in a rather large text book. Luna's music was, unfortunately, a source of some friction between the two sisters, as Lisa has repeatedly complained that the older rocker is responsible for the case of Tinnitus she has in her ears; she theorized that Lisa had probably hidden her AXE so she would be unable to play it, thus sparing her any further irritation to her delicate hearing.
"Lis! Did you hide me AXE somewhere?!" Luna demanded to know.
Lisa looked up from her text book and responded to her older sister's rude interruption with, "If by AXE you are referring to the stringed electrical instrument with which you revel in performing that aboriginal noise which you amusingly call music, then I can offer you a definite negative; just being within the same vicinity as that instrument makes my ears ring incessantly."
Another sad sigh escaped Luna's lips; this situation had become even more desperate. After she had made her way downstairs, she came across another one of her younger siblings who was parked on the couch, to which she stepped over to ask her if she knew anything about where her AXE could be.
"Baby gurl, you know where Big Sis Luna's guitar is?" Luna asked in a cutesy-wootsy-sounding voice.
"Poo-poo!" Was the baby girl's response before she blissfully garbled and cooed.
Luna rolled her eyes – how desperate was she becoming that she felt a necessity to ask her baby sister anything about her missing AXE? Meanwhile, Lynn, Sr. was in the kitchen where he was in the process of getting ready of prepare dinner for that evening; he was startled by the sudden appearance of his third-eldest daughter popping into the room in a mad panic as she whipped out her cellphone, and exclaimed, "I'm callin' the cops to report stolen property!"
Lynn, Sr. was a little surprised to hear Luna say this as he inquired, "Whoa, calm down, honey! What stolen property?"
"Me AXE!" Luna yelped as she began dialing 9-1-1. "Me AXE is missin' and nobody's seen it!"
"Relax, honey, your AXE wasn't stolen," insisted Lynn, Sr. as he discarded Luna's call and attempted to calm her down. "I just put it into storage."
Luna was beyond shock to learn of this unexpected revelation from her father as she snapped at him, "You WHAT?! Why would you do that?!"
Lynn, Sr. began to explain his motive to his high-strung daughter, which was based on his own experiences: "Luna, when I decided to dedicate my life to food, I didn't touch my cowbell for months; music can wait. You need to focus on cooking if you're going to take over the restaurant…"
By this time, Luna was beyond flustered, frustrated, or even annoyed – she was absolutely livid that her father would do this to her. "Dad…"
Unfortunately, her father was so wrapped in mapping out his daughter's future, that he was blissfully unaware of Luna's anger boiling over, as he continued, "Of course, first, you're gonna have to attend the Culinary Institute of Michigan; but someone with your talent should breeze right through!"
"Dad…!" She growled through her clinched teeth.
Still, Lynn, Sr. continued, "After that, it's onto an apprenticeship; maybe you can go somewhere fun like Paris! Oh, or Memphis! I heard they're doing great things with ribs down there!
Luna's head seemingly turned into a teapot; she was blood red with rage, and steam appeared to be billowing out of her ears while a faint whistling could be heard.
Still, Lynn, Sr. continued, "After that, you can…"
"I'M NOT TAKIN' OVER THE BLEEDIN' RESTAURANT!" Luna finally snapped and stormed out of the kitchen.
As it turns out, her reddened ears were not the source of the steam that was billowing out, rather, it was the pressure cooker on the counter, of which Lynn, Sr. quickly reached over and turned off before whatever it was he was cooking got burned and ruined. He paused for a moment to make sense of what just happened, but it sadly became rather clear to him that we went overboard with his arguably good intentions, and he knew he was going to have to make up for it.
Later that evening, the resident rocker sat slumped into her beanbag chair as a dark cloud of despair loomed over her head – having her AXE taken away from her almost felt like she was being punished for some kind of an infraction of the house rules despite having not done anything to justify such a punishment. While the darkened room was silent from a lack of music, said silence was broken when she heard a light tapping at the door.
"Come in, I guess…" muttered Luna.
The balding chef of the Loud House invited himself into the room as he carried tray in with him as something of a peace offering: "I made apology crumpets."
He knelt down beside his daughter while Luna looked at the tray bearing toasted English muffins that had marmalade spread over them; with skepticism exhibited on her freckled face, she picked up one of the treats to give it a sample, though it was not quite to her taste buds' standards…
"Feh… they're toasted too dark and the marmalade's too gritty…" was Luna's tactful critique of her father's offering.
"Ouch… I deserved that," responded Lynn, Sr.; he knew full well that he had that coming to him, as he sat the tray aside, and attempted to explain himself to his daughter. "I got to thinking about everything, and I've come to realize I kinda took the fun out of cooking by laying on the pressure a little too thick."
"Ya think?" Luna muttered with a hint of sarcasm.
Lynn, Sr. let out a soft, short sigh, as he continued his apology: "I know… it's just… none of you kids have ever taken an interest in my passion before, and I was really excited to finally be able to share in it with one of you."
Luna finally looked her father in the eye and told him a thing or two: "Look, Pops, I get you were totally stoked about us cookin' and all… but, it's one thing to share your passion with someone, it's another thing altogether tryin' to force it on them!"
Lynn, Sr. nodded in agreement. "You're right, sweetie; I was wrong. I shouldn't have tried forcing my dreams onto you… you don't have to take over the restaurant if you don't want to… I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry… why don't we just forget the whole thing?"
Luna's face had gradually softened as she listened to her father own up to his mistake and make amends with her; she stuck out her hand to seal the deal: "Forgotten. We're cool."
Lynn, Sr. just looked at Luna's hand for a brief moment, before he, once again, let his emotions get the better of him, and threw his arms around her into a tight embrace – a gesture Luna was happy to return. After sharing in this little moment, the two pulled away, and Lynn, Sr. grabbed the tray of over-toasted crumpets to take with him on his way out the door.
"Well, I guess I better go get dinner started… but, before I do, I believe this belongs to you…" said Lynn, Sr. as he reached beyond the doorframe out of Luna's field of vision, and produced her beloved purple AXE.
Luna's reaction was akin to an excitable child opening presents on Christmas morning, as she leapt out of her beanbag chair and zipped over in a flash to procure it.
"You totally rock, Pop-star!" She squealed and wasted no time shredding into her AXE with a brief little lick.
Seeing his daughter happy again brought an even bigger smile to his face, as Lynn, Sr. proceeded with the chore that awaited him for the time being. "And now, off to the kitchen to get dinner ready…"
As Luna watched her dad descend the stairs, the thought crossed her mind that one good turn deserves another; she rested her AXE down to the floor, and chased after her dad.
"Yo, Dad! Wait!" She caught up with him and wrapped her arm around his waist as they descended the stairs together. "I been thinkin'… I know from experience that preparin' a feast for a huge fam ain't exactly a solo act… whaddya say we make it a duet for tonight?"
Lynn, Sr.'s smile grew even more, as he, too, wrapped an arm around Luna's shoulders on their way down the stairs, and said, "I promise to be a fun guy and not a pressure cooker!"
The middle-aged man could not help but chuckle over the little pun he cracked; Luna initially smirked over the cheesiness and corniness (yeah, puns intended) of his remark, but this was another little moment for him, so why not let him have it?