The boy who had no choice.
Part One: leaving Malfoy Manor
I have no one to care for
(Yet)
I believe I can be compassionate
I have no one to stand up for
(Yet)
I believe I can be brave
Draco walked down the street with tears and with an expression difficult to read.
He was wearing dull worn out robes unlike his past self. He walked down and found his usual spot. At the end of the street is a tree isolated from the small dusty village.It has become his place to vent all the anger and grief. Recalling all the moments, happy and sad, he sits under the tall ancestral tree wiping one of his tears but soon another worm tear left his eye.
" I am here to say bye, I have to leave." He finishes his sentence with a little crack in his voice.
His wand pasted those exact sentences on the tree bark. The summer air dried the tears off his cheeks, as he looked around the place before aparating to the Malfoy manor. Malfoy apparated with the hope that the note will explain his disappearance and with a doubt he left.
But does anyone really care?
A year before
The battle had brought changes in the wizarding world. The dark was dead. People were cheerful and brighter than before, just as happy as they were 17 years back when Harry Potter had survived the Dark Lord becoming the chosen one. People celebrated the fall of the dark lord without fear this time. Celebration was seen in the smallest parts of the Wizarding World to the Ministry of Magic. Joy was visible in the office of the president of the Muggles too.
A part of the Wizarding community was trying to gain the power they had lost. Death Eaters faced all the hate and backlash they deserved(or some didn't) When almost everyone was celebrating a soul was in self-doubt. The boy who had no choice.
Draco Malfoy was not himself after the battle of hogwarts. He lost his friends and things weren't the same for the Malfoys. He was broken and forced to reflect. The events had shaken him as an individual.
Sitting at the edge of his large bed, Draco felt unsafe in the place he grew up.
The comforts of home were left in the past. His mind filled with all the events that had happened a day before. Everything was so fresh in his mind. His fathers fury filled with regret and his mothers moans after losing her sister did not help him come back to his normal state. At first he thought of running away and starting over with a new Identity. This meant, he had to leave his family, he didn't care about his father but how could he leave his mother who had never left his side. Then he thought of being there with his mother,but soon decided against it. He was never a person who offered a shoulder to cry on. He would hate to be seen weak the most.
He somehow had to start with a different place, so he left the Malfoy manor the very next day, leaving behind his fathers protection and his mothers love. He had taken 50 sickles from his mothers room before dropping a parchment informing her about his disappearance and promising her, he would return after a year. He knew it quite well that these sickles won't last long. Now his journey had begun.
Part two: Moving along with life
Today I am walking through
The dense forest
Letting go of the fear
That haunts
Leaving my pain and sorrow
To the dead
I want to be a story
No one has read.
After wandering over the outskirts of london, Draco couldn't find a goal to start with. As he apparated and disapparated from place to place for almost three days after he left. It was a tough job to talk to strangers. It was not like he was scared, not at all, but now he was lost. In the past year he had questioned himself so much that he no longer knew the purpose of life. He couldn't get his confidence and self respect back. Being vulnerable never went with Draco's personality. This feeling and thought of danger was new to him. After being through the difficulties and pain that will never leave him, he is ready to start over knowing that would cost alot to him. Having the evil side for years it was not easy to make eye contact with the person who saved him, he was not able to show his gratitude towards any of his protections.
Thinking about all the events and his actions of the past years, Draco walked towards a shop in a dusty wizarding village out of london. Something was not right about this shop, he could hear whispers from the other side of the door, he leaned closer to make sense of the words.
"Can we talk about this later" suggested a voice, Draco was sure he had heard this voice before.
He was thinking hard to remember the owner of this voice.
Who is this
Nn..No..
The door opened and knocked Draco to the ground. "You filthy little…" his words faded as he saw the figure above him. He was an old wizard with a silver beard, Draco couldn't believe his eyes and shook his head vigorously. Before his eyes filled with tears and all the pain crawled up to his eyes,he came back to reality.
It was not the person he thought of. Since last year he couldn't control his emotions nor his behaviour.
"Complete your sentence young man" the stranger said, raising one of his bushy eyebrows.
"Let it be grandpa...and remember what I told you before," a girl's voice said.
The stranger walked with rage in his eyes and disappeared in thin air.
" You need something, sir?" she asked Draco with narrowed eyes.
"Uhh...yeah" Draco replied while pulling himself off the ground and faced the short plump white girl.
"Is this Selwyn's Sweets Shop?" Draco glanced at the broken board of the shop.
" Yes, how can I help you?" the girl continued eyeing Draco.
" I read the daily prophet...you need a helper?"Draco asked hesitantly, now staring at the board.
" Come with me." said her stern voice
Draco followed her into the dark shop. The shop was newly painted with bright colors but it oddly looked dull. The room had unpacked boxes stacked in a corner and furniture in the other. Draco couldn't help notice the portraits thrown near the dust pile.
This shop is ridiculous. I'll leave in a short while Draco thought as he took a closer look at the portraits.
Who are these people?
Draco took a step towards the pile of portraits…
"Evanesco!" the girl exclaimed
The portraits disappeared from Draco's view.
" Want to ask something?" she asked, glancing at Dracos's face.
"No," he said firmly.
"What's your name?"the girl asked as she walked past him to open the windows.
"Draco Malfoy," Draco said instantly.
The girl's mouth half opened and then closed as she turned to face him.
She looked directly into his eyes.
She cried too. Draco thought, looking at her puffy red eyes.
The silence was broken by an owl hooting near the window.
The girl ran towards it and carefully took the letter tied to the owl.
"You can start now, arrange the furniture and clean the floor," the girl said and walked to the counter.
Draco took his wand and started working without a word.
An hour had passed and he didn't know where to place the purple candy box.
He sat on the chair across the counter. The girl looked up at him.
"You're done?" she asked softly.
"Where does this box go?" Draco asked.
" leave it there for now, I'll place it later," she said with a smile.
Draco suddenly felt uneasy looking at her smile and looked away instantly.
"Can I get you something to drink?" the girl said through a smile.
" No. 100 Knuts for my work." Draco said without looking at her.
" oh, I was thinking of keeping a helper for a month. Can you stay?"
" No, I don't need the job." Draco said without thinking. He didn't understand his own words.
" Think about it till I get your 100 knuts,"she said and walked out of the shop.
Where do I go after leaving this shop?
Back home, or to the tent?
What should I do to buy food next time?
As all these questions piled up in draco's head he decided to stay. He liked this place, he didn't have a reason but he felt safe.
His thoughts were disturbed when the girl opened the rusty door.
"Got enough time to think?" she said with a smile. She was carrying two butter bears.She offered one to Draco, and sat on a chair beside him. He took his drink.
"Well, my name is Nia Selwyn. I am the owner of the shop. The man you saw earlier is my Grandfather. I thought you would never ask."she said, taking a sip of her drink.
"You are Lucius Malfoy's son,"Nia continued talking with a smile on her face.
" You might have studied at Hogwarts, and you are running away from your family, am I right?"
Draco did not understand how she knew so much? He hastily kept his drink on the counter and stood up to leave.
" I know, you are not a coward Mr. Malfoy," Nia said, getting up to her feet too.
Draco just stared at her..He couldn't speak.
Coward… He stood there looking at Nia with blank expression.
" Sit down, I'll explain everything." she ordered
Draco listened to her like a scared child.
"I am Professor Snape's niece," she said as a tear left her eye.
Draco could feel all the pain and grief from that day.
" I am homeschooled, he would meet me near the tree away from this village, we spoke about spells and practiced them. It seemed like he was preparing me for something. I can understand all his words now. I know you were a concern to him, he spoke so less, maybe that's why I remember every word he said to me."her smile faded with every detail she shared with this person she had met an hour ago. Draco couldn't hold back his tears.
They shared something in common but was it just Professor Snape who connected him to this unknown girl, he had been crying in front of.
"Did you see him? When he.." She couldn't complete it.
Draco just shook his head in denial. He had not shared his thoughts with anyone, not even his mother. Crying was a sign of weakness that Draco didn't want anyone to see yet he was unable to control his tears.
"H-how much do you know?," Draco uttered these words in almost inaudible whisper.
" You want to know if I know you were a death eater?" She spoke with empathy.
" I know that it will be hard but can you stay here?"she asked after a long pause.
"You think living with a death eater is safe?" Draco asked amidst his sobs.
"Did you choose to be a death eater?"Nia asked with a puzzled look.
"At first I was excited and wanted to be Dark Lord's loyal follower, I had to show that my family was working for him, for him to gain power...I don't know but soon I stopped liking it. I questioned his orders before doing them…
Some I didn't do, I wanted to escape that trauma, the horror. I was a bully but I had not seen things I saw on that dinning table of my own house. I couldn't see my family in such a miserable state. We were terrified and helpless. No one will believe us, I was a coward , I did not fight him.. I was a scared filth"Draco continued venting all that was stored in him, Nia searched for words to console him, to tell him he was not alone.
"That's enough of crying for today. Let's talk later"Nia said and stood to leave.
Draco sat still mumbling things, he was staring in space kneeling to the ground.
Nia walked towards him and held his shoulders in her hands. Helping him to his feet.
They walked the stairs that led them to an empty room.
" You have to stay here."Nia said firmly and turned to leave.
"Can you tell me more about Professor Snape and yourself?" Draco asked.
" Nothing is that important...just know that you're not the only one suffering."
She rushed out of the room, hiding her tears.
Draco stood there confused and unaware of the emotion he felt at the moment.
Draco worked with Nia for a year, he had now opened up to her.
Now and then they shared all their fears and importance of family.
Draco even started writing to his mother, telling her about his new self.
He was not the only one who had become happier, Nia was also in need of a friend when she met Draco. Losing her whole family at the battle she had a hard time too. She spoke about the memories she had with her father before he became a death eater. She did not expect Draco to comfort her, Draco listened to her joyful laughs and painful sobs patiently , that's exactly what Nia needed, a person who can listen to her.
Learning to be a better person together was easier for Draco. He didn't know how but he had a clear understanding of family. He learned that blood purity and family status are not that important, being a true person is what keeps the world going.
Life and complications have done their part
To separate me from myself
I am walking this forest for fresh start
Leaving the incomplete book on the shelf.