Chapter 1- Biology Class

Ok, so I know that I have wrote a Twilight fanfic that is very similar to this and that it is currently unfinished but the honest truth is that I started that fic off at a awkward storyline and now I don't know how to carry on with it so sorry to anyone who read it and is annoyed at me for not updating :)

THIS FANFIC CONTAINS MATURE THEMES SUCH AS SELF HARM, PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE READING IT IF IT MAY UPSET/TRIGGER YOU IN ANY WAY

POV: This fanfic is set at the very beginning of Twilight when Bella is new to Forks + her and Edward haven't met yet

Btw, I have and still do suffer from self harm so I am always here to talk if you need to. If you or anyone you know is going through it, please do tell someone, whether that's a family member or a friend, it'll help. Just remember you're not alone in how you feel and there are thousands of other people who are going through the same thing you are 3 x

Bella's POV

Ugh, I always hated moving schools, even when I was in elementary I still feared the prospect of it. The thought of moving to somewhere new and strange where I didn't know anyone made me panicked and I dreaded the time when I'd have to move up to middle school. I never really was much good at making friends, I was quite shy and enjoyed my own company more than others.

Growing up with just the one parent was tough, especially when I watched other girls my age have a dad to cheer them on at sports days and to comfort them when they cried. I loved Renee more than anyone, but it wasn't the same as having a Dad as well. Renee worked most of the time, struggling to keep up with all the bills on her own. I never once complained though as I knew she only worked so hard so she could provide for me.

She had never told me much about my Dad, only that he lived in Forks and that they split up when I was young. I hadn't seen him since, and Renee had never brought it up so I had spent my entire childhood without him. Countless teachers had worried over this though, saying that every child needed a father figure in their life and that those that didn't often grew up with 'issues'. Renee had ignored them all though, until when I was 12, I was forced to go to a counsellor and talk through my feelings with her. Her name was Mrs Breham and I absolutely hated her, she would ask too many questions and made me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I refused to open up to her about anything, until she gave up after a few months and I didn't have to see her ever again.

Me and Renee lived in Phoenix together, just the two of us, until her boyfriend Phil came along and he moved in with us shortly after. I had liked it being just me and Renee but I saw the way Phil made her happy so I had not said anything. I loved the weather there in Phoenix, but my life there wasn't so great and I didn't fit in at any of the schools I went to. As you can imagine, they were all your typical Americans, the girls blonde, tanned cheerleaders and the boys sporty, tanned jocks. I was part Albanian and my skin remained ridiculously pale, even with the scorching weather. I had never made any true friends there even though I lived in Phoenix for most of my life.

I had always felt like an outsider for my whole life, a freak who didn't fit in with everyone else, and from a young age, I had hated myself. My mind was constantly filled with negative thoughts and I'd tell myself I was ugly, fat and worthless and that no one would ever like me. Over time, I started believing the voice in my head, and every time I'd look into the mirror, I'd be disgusted by what I saw. I felt like I wasn't good enough, and that even when I accomplished something and made my mom proud of me, I still felt like a disappointment. It wasn't until I was 13 that I realised what I was feeling wasn't normal. I had been learning about mental health at school, and I had all the symptoms of depression. I ignored it though, too scared to tell anyone in case they thought I was crazy or that I was even more of a freak than they already thought I was. As time went on, my thoughts only got worse, and I began to feel more and more isolated and lonely. I hid my emotions from my Mom but at night I'd cry myself to sleep most nights, hating my life and feeling trapped. At the age of 14, I had cut myself for the first time with a razor, and I didn't tell anyone, knowing that what I had done was dangerous. No matter what I knew though, I couldn't stop, the razor blade made me feel better and it took all the pain away. I would cut myself most days, and I was left with scars all up my wrists. I kept this addiction to myself though, not trusting anyone enough to know, as they'd think I was crazy and take all my razors off me. The thought of having no razors made me feel panicked as I needed them as a release and I couldn't manage without them. I carried this on, wearing long sleeves all the time to cover up my scars from my mom and Phil.

One day though, my mom and dad had spoken over the phone, and had come to the agreement that it was time I saw him now I was 17. Renee had told him about how my life in Phoenix wasn't that great and that I wasn't too keen on living with her and Phil all the time. He had offered for me to come and live with him in Forks and I had agreed reluctantly.

I don't know why I agreed, maybe it was because I desperately wanted to meet my Dad for the first time ever since I was young, or maybe it was because I was tired of my life in Phoenix. I'm not sure what the reason is, but I know that it was a stupid decision to make. Everyone knows that Forks has extremely bad weather, and that it is always raining there. I was used to the sunny beaches of Phoenix, and the thought of cold, dreary Forks made me miserable.

It was too late now though, as I was already on the plane heading to Forks to live with my dad, who was named Charlie. My mom had gave me an emotional goodbye, where there was lots of hugging involved, and she had made me promise to call and email her daily. I had agreed as it was a big thing for her, me living away, because we had always stayed together ever since I was a baby. Renee was more like a big sister to me than she was a mom, and the thought of her living on her own worried me. I hoped to God that Phil would look after her and make sure she didn't do anything stupid, because my mom is like a crazy child and sometimes she doesn't think.

Now. 35,000 miles up in the sky, I start to regret leaving my Mom and I know I'll miss her crazy ways. At the same time though, I am excited to meet my Dad finally and to get to know him.

Three hours later, and the plane lands in the airport and I wait outside the entrance door, waiting for Charlie. There are so many people there though, and I don't even know what to look for as the last time I saw him I was a baby and I can't remember what he looks like. I've seen photos of him, but he was really young in them, and he could have changed loads since then.

I sit there, panicking on what to do, when a middle-aged man with a darky bushy-looking moustache waves over at me. I realise that that's him and walk over to him, dragging my suitcase along with me.

Charlie smiles at me and we both stand there awkwardly, both of us not very good at showing our emotions.

"Nice to meet you, Bella" Charlie says at last, and he takes my suitcase off me and guides me to his car that is parked.

When we arrive at his house, I notice that it isn't anything special, just your average 2-bedroomed smallish house. I cook dinner for him, and we talk at the table and get to know each other better.

Four weeks later..

I start at Forks High School today and I'm super nervous. Over the past few weeks, I have got to know Charlie really well and I know that he is reserved and likes to keep himself to himself just like me. We have more in common than I thought, and I'm glad that I can now say I know my dad like everyone else does.

I get ready and grab an apple for breakfast then I head out the door. Charlie was really pleased I was coming to live with him so he bought me a Chevy truck off one of his close friends. Most kids would have complained about being given an old banged out car, but I didn't care, as long as it worked.

I drove to my new school and went to reception to see where I had to go, the woman at the desk was super friendly and she told me I was to go to Biology with Mr Banner. I followed her directions, and introduced myself to the teacher who looked moody.

"Are you new?" he asks, sounding bored.

"Yes".

"Name?"

"Isabella Swan" I say, noticing as the room goes silent and everyone turns to look at me. They whisper to each other and I feel a few people's stares on my back, this was to be expected though as it isn't very often that there's someone new in the small town of Forks. I was also the famous Chief Swan's daughter, and I bet people know everything about my Mom leaving him years ago, and how he had a daughter that no one knew about. In such a small town, gossip probably spreads quickly, and I was most likely to be the topic of everyone's conversation.

I hate any kind of attention being on me, and I feel my face burn as everyone looks at me. I focus on not tripping over and making a fool of myself on my first day here, I try to ignore their stares and listen to Mr Banner.

"Well, Isabella, you can go sit over there next to.. Edward Cullen" he says, gesturing towards the back corner of the room where a boy is sitting.

As I get closer, I notice the boy's face and he is easily the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. His hair is a bronzey colour which suits his pale skin tone perfectly, and his eyes are bright topaz. His jawline is perfectly sculptured and he has a dazzling smile. This boy could definitely be a male model with those looks, and just looking at him makes me blush.

"Hi, I'm Edward" he smiles at me warmly, his bright eyes shining.

To be continued….

Hey guys, so I know that this chapter kinda took a while to get started off and that it may have been quite long winded, but I promise that the next chapter will be better. I am aware that I tried to fit the whole self-harm storyline in one paragraph, and I'm sorry but that was only to start off so I can add to it in further chapters. Please do review and tell me what you think x