A/N: Written for Marvel Reverse Big Bang 2020 and based on the gorgeous artwork by SasTMK (check it out at AO3 under the same name). Thank you so much for the inspiration and for introducing me to a new ship idea!
This takes place between Thor and The Avengers, then stays with the 2012 timeline established in Endgame. My "working title" was "Daddy Issues..."
He thought he would fall forever.
That was the plan, anyway. The void, that dreadful place of emptiness and nothing. He wasn't supposed to land. It wasn't supposed to stop.
But it did.
He looked at the barren wasteland around him and shuddered.
"Who are you?" he heard a deep voice growl.
He straightened, pulling the mask of confidence around himself like another illusion, setting aside any confusion or fear he felt.
"I am Loki-" he paused for but a moment, pushing the familiar title of "Son of Odin" away from his mind as quickly as he'd tried to throw his brot- Thor off the Bifrost. He held his head high as he looked around for the owner of the voice. "From the realm of Asgard."
"So far away from home, Asgardian," the voice responded.
"They didn't understand me," he countered carefully.
"Who didn't understand you?"
"My inferiors," Loki deemed to answer at last.
"You desire sovereignty?" a lower, more menacing voice questioned him.
"To whom do I speak?" Loki asked in response, recognising the leader of whatever hierarchy he'd fallen into.
A giant, purple creature, a large man, stood up, his smile speaking to a deep, sinister part of Loki- something that screamed power.
"You do not yet know Thanos?" the first being inquired, incredulously.
The leader, Thanos, smiled that dangerous smile again.
"You will."
Loki's tongue and skill with magic had always protected him in the past. Now, amongst these beings, away from the nine worlds where he lived as a prince, he found himself crafting a different image of himself. A different image for himself as Thanos tested his pain threshold again and again.
Every time he wanted to scream, he retreated inward, building an indefensible armour around himself that prevented him from showing the weakness that was too unforgiveable to every father he'd ever known.
It got harder every time. Yet conversely, for every threshold of pain Thanos broke, Loki seemed to earn more respect, first from him, and then from his second in command, a woman who was constantly at Thanos' side, always silent, ever watchful. Loki began to take a perverse pleasure in earning the praise of the Titan.
And then one day, when Loki was recovering from another of Thanos' "tests," it was the woman who pulled him from the device, holding him up as she walked him to pallet he'd been given to sleep.
"My father is impressed by you," she spoke quietly. "Continue with this level of endurance, and he shall reward you."
"The Great Thanos has children?" Loki gasped out, exhausted.
"We are called the Black Order," the woman replied.
Loki grimaced in pain, his eyes threatening to roll back in his head.
She offered him a cup of cool liquid that slid down his gullet, a healing balm on his dry, sore throat.
"Thanos likes to watch others suffer to see who is strongest," she informed him, meeting his bloodshot eyes. "If you wish to prove yourself, don't ever let him see you break."
Loki blinked heavily, but by the time he was aware enough to open his eyes once more, the woman was gone.
"You are his second in command," Loki panted out another day.
"I am his right hand. There is a difference. I carry out his will. I do not enforce my own decisions on his behalf."
"So, have you not been broken?" he asked.
"There are many different ways to fall apart," she corrected.
"Do I get the pl-pleasure of knowing your name?"
"I am Gamora."
"Gamora. Daughter of Thanos," he tried to bow his head, wincing as the motion pulled at new wounds.
"No. Just Gamora. I do not wish to be known by my father."
"Nor I."
"Your father lives?" she asked in surprise.
"I live," Loki snarled. "Not that Odin would care. Nor mourn should I die."
"Odin, King of Asgard is your father?" Gamora prodded carefully.
"I have no father." Loki declared with a sneer.
She stared at him, her gaze seeming to pierce through him.
"And yet, you seem very determined to prove something to someone other than Thanos."
"I need not prove anything," he scowled, laying back and letting his eyes flutter shut carefully.
"No. But you still try," she assessed, tilting her head in speculation.
"A habit I intend to break," he murmured when he thought her gone.
Loki's keen eyes observed much of Thanos' army. He rooted out the weaker beings, manipulating them and upending their places in the hierarchy of this place of death and destruction. His illusions and seiðr began to make the Chitauri uneasy, the Black Order on guard, and Thanos, and Gamora, intrigued.
There were those amongst the ranks, however, who were less than impressed by the Asgardian prince.
"You have tricks, and words, Asgardian, yet you do not have power," one of the lesser commanders taunted him. "Thanos would do well to squash you like a-"
"Kthar," Gamora spoke, Kthar's mouth snapping shut as he turned to meet her eyes. "You have duties to be attending."
Loki met her gaze and smirked. She held his eyes for only a moment before turning away.
Loki bowed regally, the familiar move made harder in his emaciated state.
"Great Thanos," he looked up at the colossal being on the mighty throne, "what would you have me do for you?"
Thanos' smile was terrible as he commanded Loki to regale him the account how he came to be in his presence.
Loki smiled, then told Thanos of Jotunheim's near destruction.
"Daughter," he called, beckoning Gamora to his side, "listen to this man's tale."
Loki recounted his short experience as the king of Asgard, eyeing Thanos' throne hungrily. He told Thanos how his father fell into sleep, how his mother encouraged his ascent to his rightful place. He told of the traitorous Thor, who would endanger all their kingdom for but a prize and a tale of glory, and how the lesser one was favoured by Odin to be king. He spoke of treacheries amongst the highest ranks, and how he realised the only way to gain his people's favour, and his father's pride, was to prove himself worthy of the title of "Son of Odin."
Gamora prodded him to reveal his true heritage. Loki smiled as he took on his Frost Giant form, explaining how he was a war prize to the Asgardian king. He denounced Jotunheim completely, explicating how easily Laufey discarded his own child as he reverted to his more familiar Aesir form. Thanos grumbled angrily at such an injustice. But Loki took note as Gamora turned to her father with a fierce glare of her own.
Thanos reached out, patting her hand, but it did nothing to appease the seething woman, who stared at his throne in disdain.
"I desired to prove to Odin, to Asgard, to my mother and myself that I could justly rule our people. That I could make my father proud. That I was worthy to be called his son."
Thanos nodded happily.
"See, Gamora. A grateful child, anxious to see the vision of his father come to pass. An appreciative successor to his throne."
"I hate your throne," Gamora hissed at him.
"You've made that clear many times, Little One," he reminded her. Then he turned to Loki.
"I am impressed by your story. And you have many times prove yourself to my examiners." Loki trembled all over at the reminder, and he took a deep breath, determined to hide it as he met Thanos' gaze head on.
"I have no desire to rule the universe," Thanos declared, Gamora's eyes lowering in disdain. "But there is something I do want."
"You need only name it, Great Thanos," Loki avowed obsequiously, bowing his head slightly. "I shall endeavour to provide you all that is in my power to give."
Thanos' smile grew sinister and wide.
"Excellent."
"Thanos is a mighty conqueror," Loki began, crossing the dining platform to speak with the only person he considered his equal, now that his many tests had been passed.
"He has destroyed many worlds," Gamora conceded reluctantly, her view on "might" changed when he ordered the Black Guard to attack a defenceless refugee caravan a few months ago.
"And yet," he leaned in, knowing the types of punishments that could befall either of them should they be overheard, "you do not glory in his shadow." He'd observed this many times. Gamora was one of the most feared warriors in this large, cursed ship. He had heard talk, in fact, of her being the most feared woman in the galaxy. Yet, rarely would she invoke the name of Thanos when she desired a task accomplished. Instead, she merely proved with a few short moves why she was his second. She was terrifying, relentless, powerful, and obstinate. It made her so beautiful.
"And you, Loki of the realm of Asgard? Do you not desire to glory in the shadow of a man who led the defeat of Jotunheim?" she asked, now understanding the significance of Odin's rule.
Loki scowled, ripping a piece of meat from its bone. He had no desire to speak of the victories of his- of Odin. If victories they were.
"I defeated the king of Jotunheim with but words and a sceptre." He sneered. "And yet, where is my glory? Where are those who should be praising my mighty deeds? I did what Odin dared not and Thor could not, and I did so all on my own."
"And yet, you still find no satisfaction in your triumph," Gamora observed.
"I did find satisfaction in revenge," Loki mused. "Laufey abandoned a runtling. Yet he was killed by one he deemed unworthy of being called Jotun. Had Thor not intervened, I would have destroyed all of Jotunheim myself."
"So, you seek to conquer, just as Thanos does?"
"I seek only my due. My birth right is a throne. I never sought one for myself, only that those who sit on them be worthy. But now, Gamora of Nowhere. Now, I intend to have my inheritance. Since Odin and Laufey denied me, I shall have the throne of Midgard as my prize."
"Laufey, king of Jotunheim, was your true father, then?"
"Laufey was my sire, nothing more. He tossed me aside with the refuse, just waste who had to depend on the manipulative machinations of the Asgard king for survival." He laughed, though there was no hint of humour in it.
Gamora looked down at her food, her face, as always, unreadable. To the table, she regaled her own story.
"Thanos murdered my family. He destroyed all of my people, just because he could, and because it suited his plans. He took my parents from me and forced me into this farce of a family. I have been trained, and unmade, and remade into the perfect assassin. All in service to a madman content on destruction. So, tell me, Loki son of neither Laufey nor Odin, what good is glory to the dead?"
Loki stared at her, his eyes seeing this lethal woman anew through the pain she had suffered.
He smiled, slow and intent.
"None, Lady Gamora. Which is why it is the living who must take it."
Thanos plans to send Loki to deal with a private matter. He will be given rule over a large fleet and offered all of Midgard as his prize.
"Good things come to those who do not fear to take them," Thanos told him as they walk another planet, his army separating the people into two sections, one of the poor souls singled out and told to choose a group.
"I have no fear of power," Loki promised, "I only seek to free my subjects from the burden of choice," he declared, casually turning his head as the screaming began, hiding the way fear and pity for these people burbled their way up his throat.
"I think it's time to see what it is you fear, Princeling. Only then, can you be free of it." Thanos smiled at Loki, handing him off to a different examiner.
Gamora found him a few weeks later, gaunt and barely able to find any of the charm that so easily rolled off him mere weeks ago, even when he was wracked and exhausted.
She ran a hand through his hair tenderly, shaking her head in anger.
She met his gaze, hoping this fascinating, stubborn, strong-willed man hadn't yet been destroyed. She looked into his tired, pain-filled eyes, and found that spark that she had seen long before Thanos tried to quench it.
He groaned when she moved his head to her lap, tending to his wounds with long-practiced movements.
"I am Gamora, the favourite child of Thanos. He sought to make me in his image through fire and will alone."
Loki swallowed dryly, accepting more liquid as she carefully poured it into his mouth. He licked his cracked lips, and looked into her eyes, realising what she was asking.
"I, Loki the Jotun-born, killed Laufey the King of Jotunheim. I saved Odin, King of Asgard, as he was attacked by one who would murder him in his sleep. I nearly destroyed all Frost Giants once and for all. And did that earn me a place in the sun? NO. I was still just the ill-born prince, standing in the shadow of his brother. Thanos cannot break me. Odin did that long ago."
The corner of her mouth quirked up as she slid a wet cloth over his feverish face.
"Still seeing yourself through the eyes of who you are not, Loki, son of none? Thanos began that way, too. He kills and destroys and takes, because he believes he has the right. And now he's preparing you to do the same thing."
"I was born to a throne," Loki reminded her.
"I was born to a family," Gamora argued. "As were all the Jotun your anger managed to kill. And all the people he has ordered and forced and asked me to murder."
"The Jotun are merely the monsters under the bed. Unworthy of your pity or sympathy."
"All peoples are merely consumers of a finite universe. To kill them is to save others," she repeated Thanos' sick ideas back to him.
"He has amassed the greatest armies of all time. If he desired, he could conquer the universe."
"He is a loveless sociopath, uncaring and unseeing what he really is. He believes he's a saviour, when all he is is death."
Loki grunts, turning his eyes up toward her.
"Is that what you believe me to be?"
She moves his head off of her, standing and pacing.
"I believe you have a chance to be far more than he ever can be."
Loki gasps in pain, struggling to sit up.
"Conquer the universe?" he asked seriously. He shakes his head, ever so slightly. "I have no use for such a kingdom," he finally declared.
Gamora is about to answer him when she turns to the sound of fleet footsteps.
"Such a beautiful couple, Sister. Two souls who despise their thrones, waiting for the day they can prove Daddy wrong. How poetic," Nebula scowls down at Loki. "I hope Thanos doesn't force me to fight your battles, Frost Runt," she jeered.
"At least he has his own battles, Nebula," Gamora spit out. "And his desire to fight who his father intended him to be keeps him freer than you and I have been in many years."
Nebula whips her head to her sister, her gaze defiant.
"He claims to fight it, yet he still seeks the throne our father offers." She stares at Loki disdainfully. "At least you choose your warden," she told him, before looking up at her sister, "and make your own decisions," and with that she saunters off with a sneer.
"What do you know of the Infinity Stones?" Thanos asks Loki, who has feigned enough strength to don his armour today.
Loki grimaces at the Titan's pace but determinedly keeps up with him.
"Odin used to tell us stories of 6 gems that existed from the beginning of time, full of power, and separated because of it."
"Yes," Thanos growled approvingly. "I have decided to find them," he shared. "You will bring me the Space Stone," he informed Loki, showing him a modified sceptre.
"This will help you."
"What is it?" Loki dared ask.
"It gives you control over the minds of those who would guide your purpose."
Loki looks at him, sceptically.
"Midgard?" he finally confirmed.
"I will give you an army of Chitauri to start your reign. You will bring the Space Stone to me, as king and conqueror," he ordered, lifting Loki's head to meet his gaze. "My son."
"Why do you look upon that chair with such hatred?" Loki asked Gamora when they pass one another.
"That chair brings nothing but suffering."
"Thanos seems happy enough to rule from it."
"Thanos doesn't understand happiness. He doesn't understand goodness, or mercy, or life. All he understands is suffering and cruelty. Both of which he inflicts without thought while sitting on his throne."
Loki watches her, once again awed by her passion and rage and compassion for people she will never meet and more she can never save.
"He seeks the Infinity Stones," he informed her, swirling the borrowed staff in his hand as he tries to get used to the weight of one once more. Thanos was no fool, and he kept the sceptre until such a time as Loki agreed to begin his travels back to Midgard. Though, it seemed he would not have to travel far. The foolish Midgardians were using the stone without understanding nor appreciating its power, and even now he felt the pull of the power he could wield beginning to tug on him. They'd pinpointed the location on which the stone was honing to a meteor a galaxy away. He would have to journey there if he was to find the gem for his new master.
Gamora turned to him, her face fallen at the news.
"Then there is no hope for this universe," she said. "If Thanos manages to get those stones, he will truly be unstoppable." Her face changes, and he sees a plan begin to form in her eyes. "I can't let that happen."
Loki throws his head back and laughs.
"Just you?" he jeered, incredulous. "Against your father and all his forces. Madness."
"No, it is madness to always stay back, allowing him to get away with whatever he desires every time." She spreads her arms out, a helpless gesture he's positive she doesn't even realise she's making. "No one has stood up to him. Including me. I have followed even his worst commands for too long. I have allowed him to gain as much power as he has." She bangs her fist against a wall. "Which means this is my fault as well."
Loki raises an eyebrow at her, mocking her statement.
"A powerful man has declared his will. The only fault that lies with you is that you have managed to stay alive when so many others have not. You have lived with this feeling of helplessness for decades and have not broken, Gamora, daughter of the Mad Titan."
"I could have saved many with my death," she argued, determined to show him his error of thought. "I could have commanded his troops to leave whole planets alone, and they would have listened. He would have even forgiven me had I given him a reason. Instead, I carry out his will. Too afraid he can do something worse than what he has already done. And now, I carry the burden of their deaths."
"He may have forgiven one misstep," Loki conceded. "For his favoured child, he may even have given you a bit of power over others had you asked. But for someone so intent on making me believe the guilt of the king is not shared by all his people, you claim a large burden to yourself," he pointed out to her.
"I can't- I can't just keep standing by anymore," she shouted, anger and grief and regret in her voice. She looks up at him, slowly. "I can't."
Loki nods at her, accepting her words as he turns away.
"You may have to fight alone," he warns, his back to her.
"If I must," she answered, a thread of steel in her voice.
"I am to retrieve the Space Stone," Loki tells her on board one of the ships.
"You must ask yourself if your prize is worth the cost," she challenges him stubbornly.
"I have set my sights on a new prize," he informs her loftily.
"I hope for your sake, and the sake of all those who are about to suffer under Thanos' power, that it's better than the throne of Midgard," she taunts, readying the ship she intends to steal away, refusing to meet his eyes.
"It is worth everything," he answers confidently. "I have it on good authority that if I pass it up simply for a throne, I will in fact be responsible for every death I stand aside and allow."
She turns swiftly, searching for the lie in his eyes from a definitive liar.
"You intend to fight him?" she asks, not understanding his change of heart.
He looks off into the distance.
"Saving the universe is a far worthier feat than destroying Jotunheim," he explains to her.
She smiles at him cautiously.
"Even if you have none to worship at your feet in a celebration worthy of a king?" she jests.
He stares at her, breathing deeply as he watches this lone woman prepare to meet what will surely be her untimely death as she fights to save a universe that would despise her for her father's name.
"I would gladly accept the true adoration of one," he admits, his gaze still never leaving hers.
Her brow furrows for a moment, until understanding lights up her face.
"Can you be sure that one's adoration will be enough to keep you satisfied?" she asks.
"Only if it is the one that I want," he answers with conviction, walking toward her carefully.
"How can you be sure?" she questions, standing still and watching him as he inches closer and closer.
"Because I sought the approval of Thor, the oaf who would get his friends killed and start a war for glory. I sought the love of my people, a people who would reject a Jotun king even if the throne was rightfully his," he petulantly insists.
"But then, I realised I wanted something else. I wanted the passion of someone who would turn her back on everything she'd known to save millions she doesn't. I want the adoration of someone whose name strikes fear into the heart of all who hear it. I want the loyalty of someone who has asked her estranged sister to fight by her side three times so far. I want the approval of someone who is willing to die to protect those weaker than she is, for no other reason than she wishes them the ability to live without fear. I have lived for centuries now, travelled far and wide, in secret and forbidden places known by none other than me. And I can tell you confidently, Gamora, of Nowhere. The adoration of such a person would be worth a thousand thrones."
"And you would demand this adoration as your due?" she stares at him, challenging his place in her life.
He smiles, a slow, sly smile, finally right in front of her.
"I've tried waiting for what I want, and I've tried taking it. Now, I shall simply ask for it," he says, his arms on either side of her head. He crowds her, backing her into the wall of the ship. She is the fiercest woman in the galaxy, allowing him to invade her space, to breath her air, to press against her close enough to feel her heart beat against his own.
"Kiss me?" he pleads. He leans forward, their mutual breath the only sound he hears as she leans toward him as well. This first kiss is tentative, and then, it feels as though a dam has broken, desperation and want bleeding through.
"Kiss me," she commands him, this time, pulling his head toward her again, her fingers tangled in his hair.
"Kiss me?" he begs again. They break away from each other, panting each time. He takes a half a step back, but she stops him with a fist in his shirt.
"Kiss me," she orders once more, softly. He smiles, leaning in again, a hand on her cheek guiding her to his lips over and over and over again. Finally, they fall apart, but not far. Their foreheads lean against one another as they try to catch their breath.
"Why are you here, Loki?" she asks.
He lifts her chin, the manic fire that's haunted his eyes since he arrived banked, and a different kind of fire smouldering in them.
"I have sought to be out of a shadow for over 1400 years. To prove I am worthy, to be called Loki, son of Odin. But this," he leant forward, catching her lips again, "I would spend another 1400 years, trying to be worthy of you."
She gazes at him, then reaches for the hand still caressing her cheek, interlacing her fingers with his as she stares at their joint hands. Then, she closes her eyes with a sigh.
"If Thanos gets that stone, the universe won't have another 1,400 years. He aims to wipe out half the universe, destroying it as he destroyed half my people."
Loki quirks a smile.
"I thought you said you were the last of your people," he chuckles, trying to erase the worry from her brow.
She grins back at him, then goes back to looking at their hands between them.
"I lied."
She leant forward, kissing him again, trailing kisses gently down his face until she reaches his neck, burrowing her head by his shoulder, feeling an inexplicable wave of comfort wash over her.
"I needed to protect them," she tries to explain. "So, I tried to forget them. More than 20 years, and I have not even spoken their name. I have remained Gamora, daughter of Thanos, or Gamora of nowhere. And it will be all for nothing. He will win anyway."
Loki raises their hands to his lips, pecking her fingers before nuzzling the head still trustingly laid on his shoulder.
"I am not of Asgard," he started. "I am not of Jotunheim. I am Loki, of nowhere and no one. I have no people, and no family." He pulls back, gazing into her eyes once more. "We seem to be two outcasts, searching the universe for a place to belong."
She looks away, her worry for that universe rising up once more.
"Hope is not lost yet. Plans can be disrupted," he encourages, pulling her into his arms again. He kisses the side of her head, whispering, "What would you have me do?"
She pulls her head back, searching his eyes, a rush of pain, and fear for his sake, and finally resignation and determination passing over her countenance.
"How far are you willing to go to save the universe?" she asks him.
The plan had been to allow her to provide a distraction after the glorious battle he was to wage was ostensibly lost. She would use her many talents to steal away with the space gem while Loki was being "arrested," thereby removing it from Thanos' reach once more. Then, she'd meet up with him again before Thor could find a way to re-open the Bifrost and the two of them could run, spiriting away to the farthest reaches of the universe and have a life together, forging their own paths for once.
It was by chance that Loki acquired the gem again before he and the Avengers ever made it out of the tower. He fled in all the bustle as the Man of Iron lay dying on the floor.
A few years later, Frigga is contacted in a dream, and she immediately journeys to a small Shi'ar planet far from the roots of Yggdrasil.
When the Queen of Asgard come to the large residence, she was sat at a long table. Looking around, she saw several bewildered Midgardians: the Man of Iron of whom her Thor was so fond sat next to a maroon and silver android with a golden gem affixed in his forehead, along with a female redhead and boy of similar age with bright white hair. All three exuded a strange energy that Frigga had trouble discerning.
A Midgardian magician sat next to her, a man whose power lay around him as potently as the cloak he wore. A blond Midgardian in shackles sat next to a Flora Colossus who was arguing in Groot to a small, grey and black mammalian creature. There was the whole of agency of SWORD on one side, and the other Avengers about whom Thor oft spoke on another. A blue, bald Luphomoid female with quite a few mechanical enhancements sat tossing up a dagger, her face menacing and deadly. Finally, she was pleasantly surprised and confused to hear the door open again, and watched as Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were led in.
"Mother!" Thor calls excitedly, circling around to kiss her cheek before taking the other seat next to her.
She joins with the others in asking what this was all about, and wondering who had called them, when two young children bounded out a side door, laughing and playing together. The boy had emerald-green skin and dark brown hair with tips as red as blood. The girl had ruby-red eyes and skin as blue as an icy lake. They looked up as a woman with skin as green as the boy's entered, one raised eyebrow enough to quell the children's laughter. At their penitent looks, she smirks at them, tossing a small treat to each as they both smile and run to a corner of the room, sitting quietly, the girl opening a red switchblade, balancing it in her palm.
"Welcome," the woman begins. "I am Gamora of Zen-Whoberi. I have called all of you to help me stop the Mad Titan Thanos from gaining the Infinity Stones. Some of you are already in possession of these stones. Others have experience defending them. In two weeks' time, planets will align to provide access to another. Please." She looks around, begging each of the gathered beings. "Help me stop him."
"Lowly Earthling here," the Man of Iron speaks up, raising a hand lazily to gain her attention, "so forgive my ignorance, but I think I speak for at least half of the table when I ask: what is an Infinity Stone, who is Thanos, and why did you chose us for this little intergalactic adventure?"
She points back to a man entering through the door in which she came, and Frigga grins widely, having missed that sly smile more than she could put into words.
"I believe I can explain. I am Loki, husband of Gamora, and a Revenger of the Universe."