His lumbs hurt as he breaths. His heart was like as if it wants to tear out from its place. Tingly and tingling spread through his chest.
Why does it have to happen with me?
His vision blurried and his eyelids were heavy. He did not want anything just to rest.
"Eren!"
He looked at the direction of the voice. A blurried person knelt besides him and called his name despairingly.
"Eren!"
--
"Eren!"
He blinked and looked at the boy who called his name. The vision looked so real that he needed a few seconds to recognise what is reality.
"Sorry Armin" he smiled bewilderedly like a fool because he had no idea what did he friend told to him.
"Did you daydreamed about her again?"
Armin was the only person who he had confessed how much he loves Mikasa.
"No"
For this time he didn't daydream about holding Mikasa in his arms and spend as many minutes together as they can.
Armin raised an eyebrow and then creased the bag. He always brings his sandwichs to the school in those.
"Then about what?"
Eren wasn't considered as the most smartest student but even he could notice that Armin doubted his words.
"I dunno. It was weird as if... I dunno. It was strange but it really wasn't about Mikasa"
How would he be able to explain when he couldn't even understand it?
"Well, if you can remember then tell me"
After that they sat at the table in silence waiting for the class to start.
Eren soon catched Armin watching Annie. His best friend loved the girl and Eren hoped something will happen between them.
--
At the end of the day Eren has been already forgotten that weird vision of his.
Connie and Sasha joined him as he walked to home. They said they have to go there and while Eren found this suspicious he didn't do anything against it and let them come with him.
Halfway they grabbed his hand. Eren tried to freeing himself, yelled at them to let him go but they didn't listen to him.
They brought him to the nearby park.
It was spring. The grigs stridulated. There were nowhere clouds in the sky. The Moon's sky made the fountain very visible at the center of the park and there were a bench in front of it. Mikasa sat there with that scarf around her neck what Eren gave her years ago.
Mikasa's parents had a car accident but they died in the hospital. Mikasa only had a few scratchs yet she didn't leave her beloved parents' side and she was there when their hearts stopped to beating.
Grisha often brought Eren with him, and at that rainy day his son also was with him when the ambulance came with the two dying adults and the shocked Mikasa.
While Grisha contacted with Mikasa's only relatives - cousin - Eren was with Mikasa. Eren gave her his scarf.
Her eyes first lighten up since the ambulance's arrival, and since then they kept in touch. They were friends.
What Mikasa did not know that Eren liked her since they met. That us something what people don't babble about.
"Why did you bring me here" Eren bursted out when they let him go.
Connie and Sasha smirked at eachother and then highfived and then pushed Eren near to Mikasa.
"Speak with eachother" Connie whispered to Eren.
And then Connie and Sasha ran away laughing, leaving them alone.
"Come back here!" Eren yelled but soon gave uo when none of them showed up.
"Did they bring you here, too?" he turned to Mikasa and then sat down besides her.
"Yes and after that they told me to wait" she confessed a bit embarassed. He looked at her. Her nice black hair covered her face. "I did not know what they want but I was curious" she told to him.
"I see" he answered shortly. "Do you want me take you home?" he offered.
He really wanted the girl staying with him on that bench, he did not want her to force anything.
Mikasa didn't answer right away and Eren started to worry that Mikasa might doesn't like him. His fear didn't disappeared when the girl nodded.
"Let's go then"
They walked besides eachother in silence. The only sound was the grigs' stridulating. The silence wasn't uncomfortable. Eren enjoyed every minutes of that time what he can spends with Mikasa.
When they reached the house where Levi and Kuchel lived they turned to eachother.
"Thank you taking me home, Eren" Mikasa hugged Eren. She placed her head to his shoulder. Eren worried if Mikasa stays there she might will hear her rapidly beating heart but at the same time he felt as if he wouldn't mind it too much. It was a way too good feeling to be with Mikasa.
"If you want I can take you to home everyday" he promised to her and he didn't see Mikasa's blush and her tears of happiness.
Eren couldn't move after Mikasa went into the house and locked the door. He was happy.
Finally he can be with Mikasa much more than before, and one day he will confess to her. He didn't even think about the chance of rejecting.
As he went home those two again came to him.
"Did something happened between you two?" Connie asked excitedly while Sasha ate a very big sandwich.
"What do you speak about? I took her home" he shrugged and he didn't realize what was Connie exactly asking.
"Did you confess to her?"
"No- what are you speaking about?" he yelled angrily yet his face was red.
"Don't worry, we will help you" he smirked. Sasha nodded multiplate times while her mouth was full of food
"Thanks but I don't want it"
--
It didn't matter that he rejected their help they still made a meeting between Eren and Mikasa in an ice cream shop at the weekend. Connie and Sasha watched them from behind a bush as they spoke.
Everything looked fine, peaceful, they were sure they can help to make them dating. It was so obvious to everyone that Eren and Mikasa loved eachother but these two couldn't notice it.
The idea came from Hange. Sasha and Connie accepted to accomplish. There was a bet about it and believe me, noone wants to lose a bet against Hange. Ever.
Someone kicked the door with their leg. They wore black mask, dark blue leggins and a hooded pullover. They held a gun in their hand.
"To the ground!" they yelled and people screames but did what he told them to do.
Eren and Mikasa laid next to eachother and watched as the robber took all of the money and was about to leave when their eyes landed on Mikasa.
"I will take her as hostage" they said simply and they grabbed and hitched her up with her scarf. She yelled in pain as she held her throat.
"Mikasa!"
Eren jumped to protect the most beloved person. He wanted to save her from the robber's filthy hands but he never got the chance to do that.
A loud bang could be heard and he saw the ceiling of the ice cream shop.
His lumbs hurt as he breaths. His heart was like as if it wants to tear out from its place. Tingly and tingling spread through his chest.
Why does it have to happen with me?
His vision blurried and his eyelids were heavy. He did not want anything just to rest.
"Eren!"
He looked at the direction of the voice. A blurried person knelt besides him and called his name despairingly.
"Eren!"
He recognised the voice. Mikasa repeated his name.
Did he succeed? Did the robber let go of her? But why does lay on the floor? Isn't he supposed to hug Mikasa to comfort her because a stupid person was that bad to her? Who can even hurt a girl like Mikasa?
His eyes teared up. He couldn't breath and a sharp pain went through his body. Mikasa who knelt besides him hugged him and mumbled something. Eren couldn't understand what does she say. The voices blurred.
He very soon realized he is dying. It was strange that he could think about it thaz calmly why the beloved girl cried over him.
He did not want to leave her. He wanted to be with her.
Why does it happen with him?
There are so much people on the Earth, why exactly is it him? Why is the chance taken from him to be with Mikasa?
Why? Why do I have to die?
And he saw something. A memory what he never had... in this life. It answered his question.
So it doesn't matter what I do, I have to die again and again and I mever can be happy with Mikasa? I have to live it again and again in different lifes that we can't be together?
The world is cruel, yet beautiful. Mikasa was right. He can see now.
It is beautiful because he can love Mikasa but also cruel because he never can be with her as he wishes. They are separated in this cruel way.
He couldn't even tell her how much he loves her.
So this is my destiny. The endless suffering and I take Mikasa and the others with myself always.
Before he closed his eyes forever and before the darkness took him, his last thought was
I love you, Mikasa