Play the Game

Notes: This is a muggle AU, Sirius and Hermione are similar ages, listen to Play the Game by Queen because that's where the title is from, and also it matches the kinda vibe I had going when I wrote this, um, also the main kinda idea was kick-started cause of my fellow beater Siriuslyharry99 and it snowballed into...this. Have fun :)

Like all good things, it begins with an accusation of murder.

It's a slow night, and Hermione is holding back her fifth yawn of the hour when the phone rings. Blindly, she hits answer and adjusts her headset so the microphone is in front of her lips. Without straightening in her seat, she says, "Crime-stoppers! Please state the–" she's interrupted by a yawn and doesn't bother covering her mouth as she lets it roll through her body– "nature of your claim."

Just as she's getting ready to tell whoever is on the other end of the phone that no, teenagers playing on the skate ramp is not an offence and to please keep your terrier on his leash next time Mrs Pince, the line is choked up with a horrible wracking cough. Hermione is immediately on alert, her feet dropping to the floor and her tiredness suddenly disappearing.

"If you are in the middle of an emergency," she says to the person on the end of the line, her fingers tapping an agitated rhythm on the desk, "please hang up and dial 999."

When she began volunteering for crime-stoppers, it was under the assumption that she wouldn't be dealing with crimes in progress; that was the whole point of crime-stoppers after all – to deal with the aftermath of crime – and in the two years she had been volunteering, that was all she had dealt with. Now though, she's faced with a caller who appears to be in the middle of a – what Hermione can only assume from the sounds coming across the line – brutal attack.

"Are you okay?" she asks steadily, even as her heart rate accelerates rapidly and her eyes dart back and forth over the computer, where already, she's pulling up the first aid and safety pages the organisers had given them for calls such as this.

She's getting ready to divert the call directly to 999 and of course, that's when the caller stops coughing and says, "Sorry–sorry! Frank, no– I told him– no I don't care that he said– No! Pete! Stop I'm talking to the p'lice!" The man's voice keeps fading in and out, as if he's talking to people on the other end, and Hermione can't help but take note of the slurred nature of his voice. She instantly relaxes, rolling her eyes and sitting back in her seat. A drunk caller. Of course.

"Sir," Hermione addresses idly, finger hovering over the 'hang up' button. "If you don't have anything to report, I'm going to have to ask you to hang up."

That gets a reaction out of the man and he splutters, "Wai–wait! I have to report a crime!" There's a chorus of groans from the background and someone lets out a loud 'boo!', before there's a shuffle and the sound of a door closing and suddenly all Hermione can hear is the heavy breathing of the man on the phone.

Hermione, at this point, has an eyebrow raised sceptically.

The man pants. "Sorry 'bout them," he says, and there's a light chuckle in his voice. "They don't know when ta shut up."

"Mmhmm," Hermione hums, picking at the flaking varnish of the desk. Despite herself, she's amused. This is the most interesting thing that has happened to her all night. But she really does need the man to get to the point. "Can you tell me the details of the crime?"

The man breaks out into coughs again and Hermione rolls her eyes. Luckily, he recovers sooner this time and blurts, "Murder!"

Hermione stills. "Murder?" Surely she hasn't heard that right…

"Yup!" The man sounds oddly cheerful for someone discussing murder. "My best friend is a vile betrayer and he killed Dr. Black!"

Now, Hermione isn't an idiot. She knows the odds that this man is out of his mind on some psychotomimetic substance and that's not to mention the possibility of him having some form of hallucinogenic condition. There is no scenario here where Hermione just jumps right on in to believing him without proper consideration of the evidence. Hell, she didn't get to become the youngest Crown Prosecutor in the district by believing every 'boy who cried wolf' she came across. But there's something about this man that has Hermione believing him.

"Okay," she says, leaning forward and bringing her hands to the keyboard in preparation for writing up the inevitable report. "Keep calm and tell me everything you know."

The man lets out a triumphant cheer. "Yes! Finally someone who's taking me seriously!"

Hermione allows herself a small grin despite the gravity of the situation. "Of course, sir. That's what I'm here for."

"Good." There's a shuffle on the other side of the phone and a muffled curse before he settles down. He sighs. "I didn't think it'd come to this." Finally, his cheerful demeanour shows a crack, sadness leeching into his voice. Hermione feels a burst of sympathy for him.

Gently, she prompts, "Maybe we could start with your friends' name?"

The man hums absent-mindedly and says, "Sirius Black."

Hermione's stomach gives a lurch. She knows that name. In fact, she was the one to sign his employment contract last month. He had seemed like such a nice young man too…polite with just the right amount of snark to seem genuine. Hermione had been looking forward to seeing how his career progressed.

Dutifully, she types the name into the digital form, the stark black letters staring at her accusingly, making this all the more real.

"Can you give me your best estimate as to when the event took place?" Hermione moves onto the next question, already falling into her practical, get shit done mood (as Ron calls it).

Before the man can answer, there's the sound of a door opening and a deeper male voice saying, "Alright prongsie?"

The man gasps. "Go away, Sirius! I'm still mad at you."

"Sir?" Hermione asks, startled. "Sir? Is Mr Black in the room with you?"

Her only answer is the sound of a scuffle, and Hermione's pulse is pounding in her throat the longer it goes on. She's just about to ping for a supervisor (which will be a hassle since she's the only one at the office and it's one a.m. – yes, her friends tell her she needs to get a life, but she's perfectly content with the life she does have, thankyouverymuch), then there's a rich, soothing voice in her ear saying, "I apologise about James. Once he gets onto the tequila, well…" The man chuckles, and the sound sends shivers down Hermione's spine. "Let's just say it's fun to watch, not so fun to deal with."

"Are you Sirius Black?" Hermione gets right to business.

"Yes?" The man sounds surprised, and his voice gets a bit distant, obviously checking the caller to see who he's talking to. "I don't recognise this number, who are you?"

How to play this…hmm…

"My name is Hermione Granger and I'm–"

"Wait–" Sirius interrupts, sounding shocked. "The Hermione Granger? As in Crown Prosecutor, Hermione Granger?"

Hermione immediately blushes. "Yes."

Sirius grumbles something under his breath.

"Pardon?" Hermione bristles. "Do you have a problem with that, Mr Black?"

"No!" Sirius rushes out. "It's just that I work in the same building as you and might, maybe, have this thing that my friends know about and have been trying to resolve and it may have led to them doing something that I don't exactly approve of and in conclusion I'm so sorry they got you involved and–"

"Mr Black!" Hermione interrupts. Sirius falls silent. Hermione sighs, rubbing her temple where she can already feel the beginnings of a migraine starting. "Did you, or did you not, murder a–" she checks her notes– "Dr Black?"

The end of the line is silent for all of ten seconds before –

"Oh my god!" Sirius gasps at the tail end of a booming laugh. "Prongs, you idiot!"

There's the sound of the other man – Hermione is guessing his name is James (so sue her, she's had a long day, it's taking a bit to catch up) – saying "You take that back!" in the background, but Sirius' laughter doesn't let up.

Hermione glares reproachfully at the desk. "I don't think murder is a laughing matter, Mr Black."

Sirius attempts to reign in his laughter. "No, you're– you're right, it's not. But–" he lets out another gasping laugh as he trips over his words– "the thing is– it's not, it's not murder. At least, not the way you're thinking it."

"Oh?" Hermione asks sternly. "Do tell."

"O–of course," Sirius hiccups, a smile in his voice. "You see, it's Friday night, and Friday has always been our games night – just something that started back when we were in school and continued after we'd gotten jobs and whatnot to keep in contact and–"

"Mr Black," Hermione reprimands. "Stay on topic, please."

"Right, right," Sirius mumbles. "On topic…aha! Games night!"

Hermione sighs soundlessly, settling herself in for a long, winding explanation.

Sirius continues. "So, because we played monopoly last week, and it's Moony's turn to pick – and we all know Moony–" Sirius lets out a nervous sounding chuckle– "Good 'ol Moony loves complicating matters, and we all know how shit James is at guessing games, so of course Moony, being Moony, decides we should all play Cluedo, and–"

"Wait," Hermione interrupts, the pieces beginning to click together in her mind. "Cluedo? You were playing Cluedo?"

Sirius sounds sheepish as he says, "Yes. And, well, it turns out that Mrs Peacock was the one who killed Dr Black and since I was the one who was playing Mrs Peacock…"

"You were the one who killed Dr Black," Hermione concludes.

"I really am sorry about James," Sirius insists sincerely.

Hermione chuckles, shaking her head as she deletes the report on the computer screen. "No harm done," she tells him.

"No, I 'spose not," Sirius chuckles.

There's silence on the line for a solid five seconds, neither of them really knowing what to say.

Suddenly, Sirius blurts, "You're the reason I got my job."

Hermione blinks. "I mean, I just signed your contract, I'm not sure that equates to being the reason you got the job."

"No, I–" Sirius sounds embarrassed and there's the sound of him clearing his throat before he continues, "I mean, before you came along, no-one was willing to hire me. When you stepped in and said you wanted to–" Sirius gives a self-conscious laugh– "well, let's just say, I definitely owe you a thanks."

"Oh." It was definitely true that Hermione had picked out Sirius' resume from the tens that had come through, but that was nothing to dole out thanks for, and she tells him as much. "You did all the work; your resume is very impressive, and you just solidified my decision with your interview. There's nothing to thank me for."

Sirius makes a choked sort of noise.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asks in concern.

"Yeah." Sirius' voice is strangled and he coughs to clear it. Incredulously, he says, "You really don't know who I am, do you?"

"Should I?" Hermione asks, genuinely curious.

"Have you heard of Black Incorporated?" Sirius asks.

"Oh, that family of religious assholes who are so inbred they make the royal family look normal?" Hermione spits before remembering herself. She claps a hand over her mouth. "I mean…"

But Sirius is laughing. "That's the one."

"Oh shit!" Hermione realises. "Sirius Black!" Sirius laughs even louder and it's Hermione's turn to be embarrassed. "I'm so sorry!" she says, mortified. "I didn't even think! I promise I'm not normally this stupid but it's been a long day and I really just want to go home, curl up with Crooks and sleep until next year."

"Relax, love," Sirius tells her, a grin in his voice. "You echoed my thoughts exactly. And what was that about curling up with crooks? You like a bad boy, huh?"

Hermione chuckles, the heat from her cheeks cooling. "No, Crookshanks – he's my cat."

The blinking of a red light on the monitor in front of her tells Hermione there's another call coming in and reluctantly she tells Sirius, "I have to get back to work – maybe try keep your friend away from the phone for the rest of the night?"

Sirius, for his part, sounds equally reluctant as Hermione to hang up. "Aww, sure thing. Don't want to get you in trouble. And I think he's fallen asleep while we've been– Oi, James! – yeah, he's out for the count."

Hermione chuckled, shaking her head. "It was nice talking to you."

"You too." Sirius sounds hesitant as he adds on, "Maybe I'll…see you around the courthouse?"

Hermione smiles. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

"Brilliant. Now you go stop those crimes, Crown Prosecutor Granger." The line clicks.

Hermione has a smile on her face that lasts all the way until she finally – finally – gets home in the early hours of the morning (and if she wakes up with that same smile, well, no-one but Crookshanks has to know).

0_0

Round 6 for the QLFC

Team: Montrose Magpies

Position: Beater 2

Prompts: Hermione Granger/Sirius Black

Additional prompts used:

(2) action tripping over something

(3) emotion surprise

(11) trait cheerful

word count: 2187

0_0

I suppose the other thing I want to say is that the 'tripping over something' is tripping over words...which counts because I said so. I wanted to have a go at a different tense too, cause I've never written in present tense before and boy did I have a few false starts where I had to go back because I'd slipped up XD

But, we love a challenge, so yay!