Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
Stan = Ann / Kyle = Kylie / Eric = Erica / Kenny = (Mc)Kenzie / Butters = Marjorine / Clyde = Chloe / Craig = Meg / Tweek = Tweek
Henrietta = Henry / Wendy = Wendyl / Bebe = Bobby / Red = Red / Heidi = Hyde
Chapter 1
This Friday, when Erica Cartman shows up late to the bus stop, Kylie Broflovski is the only one to notice. McKenzie McCormick, or simply Kenzie, has her face buried in a Playgirl, and Ann Marsh is staring wide-eyed over Kenzie's shoulder. "'Sup, bitches?" Erica greets obnoxiously, peering over Kenzie's opposite shoulder, and cringing at the sight of scantily clad men. "Ew." She looks past Kenzie and Ann, at Kylie, who appears uninterested in the magazine. Erica surveys the tomboy, who she assumes has a basketball competition, as Kylie happens to have her green-and-white varsity jacket buttoned over her jersey. In addition to her signature Timberlands, she's also wearing green cargo pants. Her frizzy, red hair is tied back in a very loose ponytail, and there's no makeup on her freckled face. None of this actually means anything in regard to her orientation—Ann's also a tomboy, but obviously straight, while Erica's quite the girly girl—but Kylie still reads on Erica's gaydar. Not that Kylie has ever shown anymore interest in the same sex, than she has the opposite. In fact, she's kind of prude. The more Erica contemplates it, she can't help but wonder if Kylie's asexual, or simply a goody-goody Jew-shoes. "Are you sure you have on enough eyeliner, Ann?" Erica asks sarcastically, as she averts her attention toward Ann, who appears to be going through another emo phase. Taking a page out of Meg Tucker's book, Ann flips Erica off. "Wow, fishnet gloves, too?"
"Put that away, dude," Kylie warns, as the bus approaches.
Kenzie shoves the magazine into her backpack, which contains only inappropriate paraphernalia, such as porn, condoms, and cigarettes, in place of the required textbooks. At the very least, Kenzie will show up for school, today.
As they board the bus, their driver, Miss Crabtree, screeches at some rowdy kids in the back.
"I hate that bitch," one of them says.
"What did you say?!"
"I said that I have an itch."
"Oh, okay."
Kenzie giggles at the interaction, as she takes the seat in front of South Park High's one openly lesbian couple. Ann and Kylie sit across from the former's boyfriend, Wendyl, and his best friend, Bobby. Erica, as always, sits with her best friend, Marjorine Stotch, who's currently in her green-and-white cheerleading uniform.
"Hey, Erica!" Marjorine greets with too much pep for this early hour. "Have you heard about Chloe and Hyde?" As she says this, she lowers her voice to a whisper. "They had sex at Red's party, last week." Despite her penchant for gossip, Marjorine has surprisingly never told anyone Erica's deepest, darkest secret. It's for this reason, as well as the fact that Marjorine is so naïve, and easy to manipulate, that they're as close as they are. "By the way, are you coming to the basketball game, tonight? You'll get to see Kylie play."
"Why would I care to see Kylie play basketball?" Erica reacts defensively, as her face instantly turns red.
"Running around, with her boobies bouncing... Sweat dripping down her bod—"
"Oh, my God, Marj!" She slaps her hand over Marjorine's mouth, before the latter can speak another word, and anyone potentially hears her. "I'll go, okay? Jesus Christ."
"No, Kenzie," they hear Meg say, "Tweek and I will not have a threesome with you."
"Do you even like chicks?" Tweek questions.
"I'm flexible."
"Well, go be flexible with Erica," Meg suggests.
"'Ey, that's not funny, Meg." Erica pokes her head into the aisle, and turns toward the back of the bus, where Kenzie is leaned over the seat in front of the couple. "Kenzie's not my type."
"Well, you're not mine, either," Kenzie says, though she sounds slightly offended.
"What is your type?" Tweek asks curiously.
"Redheaded lumberjacks," Marjorine whispers under her breath.
"Shuddup," Erica hisses at her, before turning back around. "None of your business, Tweek."