A/N: There will be spoilers for the Moro arc in the 2nd half of this fic. I started writing this in January 2019, but then Kingdom Hearts 3 came out… In January 2021 I finally fell back into DB hell to continue! I always knew I'd come back to this fic because as soon as my brain said 'Journey to the West reference' I was certain I'd never lose the love for the idea. But then my stupid ass couldn't just let it be a short funny fic, so here we are.

A note on the ships tagged: the primary focus of this fic is Beerus/Shin, but Beerus/Whis is still very prevalent and there are several times I could have gone off and wrote more about them, but I whipped myself into shape saying no! This time I don't want BrWh to have a nsfw scene! (dw, companion fic will follow for y'all who are into that) But at the same time I need you to know that Beerus is definitely polyamorous and has two hands.

MANFRUIT

Chapter 1: The Destroyer Sets Out to Prove a Point; Beerus Upsets the Supreme Kai

"Whis, watch this." Beerus smirked as he was about to prove his point. "Hey, Supreme Kai!"

The kai was startled by the sudden call. "Y-yes, Lord Beerus?"

"Pass me that fish, would you?" Bulma really needed to install one of those revolving tables he'd seen in some of the Earth restaurants she'd taken him to.

Shin looked at the plate Beerus was pointing to and quickly took it (deciding that it was too far a stretch over the table) around to Beerus.

"See that, Whis?" Beerus asked as he dealt the angel a decent portion of fish before loading his own plate.

"Yes, I see your point. Perhaps you should talk to him."

Beerus gave a low laugh. "How evil, Whis. I'm not sure he could hold a decent conversation at the moment. Did you see the way he bowed his head at the end?"

"Precisely. You need to explain – again – that you're equals and he need not do that."

The destroyer rolled his eyes. "Are you that dense? He did that to hide his blushing face."

"Maybe, but, my lord, you'd be dense not to realise the Supreme Kai often treats you as a superior. You don't see it, but as an onlooker, I do."

"What are you talking about? He is more than happy to yell back at me."

Whis nodded. "Yes, back at you. He rises to meet you occasionally, but he treads around you like glass."

"Yes, and I'm trying to tell you that's because he likes me."

Whis gave Beerus a confused look. He didn't want to tell Beerus that the last thing the Supreme Kai would say is that he 'liked' the destroyer. Rather, he was sure the kai would say he 'suffered' or 'endured' the destroyer. "Have you ever considered that the Supreme Kai blushes so much around you because you embarrass him?"

"Eh?" Beerus paused for thought. "Really, Whis? Come on, examples."

"Well, often in the Tournament of Power you two could be seen bickering – something that may have embarrassed him when all the other universes were watching."

"Fine. Come on, more."

"There aren't many more that come to mind. You two don't spend much time together, after all."

Beerus stuffed some fish in his mouth while he thought about his next comment. "This is really good. Eat it before it goes cold."

"I'll have to ask Bulma what kind of fish this is," Whis said, about to wave her over.

"I'm just going to ask him."

"How bold of you." Whis paused to ask Bulma his question, finding out that this was haddock. "And if he admits he does like you? Not that I believe the Supreme Kai would admit something like that."

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

"Oh? So you don't want to tell me if you like him back?"

"No, I don't, Whis, not here where people are surely wondering what we're whispering about by now."

"I thought that calling Bulma over was very nice cover," Whis said.

"No, I need to be more vocal about how much I'm enjoying this, so, if you'll excuse me…"

Ooo

"S-say, where is Whis?" Shin asked as Beerus shuffled closer again. So far he had done well to reopen the gap between them, but Shin was fast running out of space behind him. He was already half-off the picnic blanket, and the tree was his next obstacle.

"Whis has gone to Earth," Beerus said. "Why? Did you want to see him?"

"No, I was just wondering." Shin gave a nervous smile. "After all, I don't often see you without him. Not for this long."

"We've only been here for twenty minutes."

Twenty minutes too long, Shin thought. "Well, I… I'm quite full of biscuits and tea now. I should probably get going – you must have things to do."

"Not really."

"Well, Kibito will be wondering where I am."

Shin attempted to get up, but Beerus was quick to stop him. In hindsight, Shin thought he probably should have just kai-kai'd sitting down, because now he was there with Beerus's hand on his thigh and his heartrate skyrocketing.

"Why so eager to leave?" Beerus asked. He found it difficult not to smirk as he looked at Shin's reddening face.

"I – I just don't want to outstay my welcome."

"My other half is always welcome here." Oh, that's perfect. He'd used that phrase because he knew exactly how it'd make Shin react. The kai couldn't even keep eye contact now.

"Well, thank you…"

"Shin…" Beerus traced the kai's jaw as he turned Shin to face him again.

"L-Lord Beerus?" Shin was struggling to make sense of what was happening, but Beerus finally remembered his name!

"Tell me, why are you blushing so much?"

"I am?" Shin asked, more than aware his face was burning and he probably looked more like Kibito than himself right now. "Well, Lord Beerus, you're so close…"

"Is that a problem?"

"N-no! Just unexpected – I didn't think you were a fan of such intimacy." Shin wanted to die right now. That was the last word he wanted to use to describe what was happening right now.

"You're right, I hate this kind of thing with people I don't like." How much further could he push Shin before he passed out from having all his blood rushing to his face? "But as my life-link, I think you should be closest to me."

"Even closer than Whis?!" Shin needed to put some distance between them, even if it wasn't physical.

"Oh yes," Beerus said. "If Whis dies – if he can die – then I'll go on living. But you…" He wrapped an arm around Shin. "Do I embarrass you, Shin?"

"Huh? What makes you think that? If anything, I'm embarrassing you." Shin laughed nervously as he tried to unsuccessfully wriggle free from Beerus's grasp.

"You've been blushing so much around me recently. Whis said I've been embarrassing you."

"It's nothing like that!"

"Then what is it?"

Shin fumbled for words, not sure what excuse he wanted to use. He hadn't really expected today to turn out anything like this, and he certainly didn't have anything pre-prepared for this sort of conversation.

"Do you like me?"

Shin's heart skipped a beat at the question – so unexpected. What is that obvious? Did… Did Beerus like him too?! What if this was all a trick? He wanted to run away, but Beerus wasn't going to allow that, and teleporting away wasn't going to work when the destroyer was very much attached to him at this moment.

"Well, Shin? Your silence is quite…" It was a number of things. Annoying for sure – he liked a prompt answer after all. But also quite tantalising as every second only increased the chance that Shin was about to admit something interesting.

"Maybe," Shin said, just so he didn't anger Beerus by not responding.

"Maybe?" Beerus repeated. That wasn't the kind of answer he was looking for – he wanted something more concrete than that! "Care to elaborate?"

If only Whis would conveniently turn up now… Shin hoped. With no help in sight, he had to say something before Beerus got angry with his silence again. "Not really." At least he was honest?

Beerus pursed his lips, his sigh being exhaled through his nose. "Wasn't Team Universe 7 all about teamwork? Wasn't that something you were trying to push for? You're not being very cooperative right now."

"This is hardly the same kind of situation…" Shin was desperately trying to find a string of words that would get Beerus off his case.

"Didn't you say…" Beerus paused for thought – had Shin said he wanted to be more like the other universes? Or had Whis said something about it… Maybe he just wanted that and was projecting it on to Shin.

"What did I say?" Shin asked, the nervousness in his voice apparent.

Beerus caught the shift in Shin's disposition, wondering if he could take advantage of it. "Never mind." That was sure to keep Shin on-edge for a while longer. "But, yes, cooperation… You and Goku's son seemed to be very much for it."

There was no need for Shin to say anything, but the way he tugged at the hem of his collar told Beerus more than enough.

"Well, who do you prefer? Me or him?"

Shin was ready to make a break for it and kai-kai away before Beerus could catch him. How did the destroyer know all of this?

Beerus began to twirl his fingers through Shin's white locks. "As cute as you are, you're a lot more fun when you talk."

"I –" He went for it, quickly leaping from the ground, but stumbling over Beerus's tail which he hadn't realised had curled around him while they'd been sitting there. The moment to escape was lost just like that, for it gave Beerus the chance to grab his wrist.

"Where are you off to?" Beerus couldn't keep from laughing; everything about this situation was so comical to him. The kai's worried expression, his deep breathing as if this was a labour-intensive discussion, and the way he'd tried to make his exit. Could he wind Shin up any more than this?

Shin sunk to his knees before slumping forward. Beerus wondered who he was kowtowing to – or perhaps he was just praying for help to who knew. Either way, it just increased Beerus's urge to chuckle. He was starting to feel sorry for the kai though, gently rubbing his back as he laid there, unwilling to get up.

"Come on, Shin." He tried to get the kai to sit up of his own accord. "Come on, or I'll have to start apologising or something."

"Maybe you should," Shin muttered from his hunched position.

"For what though? All I did was ask a few questions."

Shin turned his head so he could see Beerus. "Whis was right. You're embarrassing me."

"Yeah, but there's no one else here today."

"It doesn't matter!" Shin sat up properly now. "If you think it's okay to do it alone, then surely you'll think the same even when others are around!"

"When have I ever…?" Beerus was struggling to recall many times they'd been alone. It wasn't as if they saw each other much outside of coordination meetings, and even during those, their attendants were always around.

Shin frowned. "This is why we were the laughingstocks of the multiverse." But he knew it was his fault as much as Beerus's, even if he did think the destroyer should have taken the initiative more just because he was older and knew more about these things.

"Yeah, well, we're talking now, aren't we?"

"Yes, not that anything we've spoken about today will improve our universe."

"I was under the impression that strengthening our relationship in general would result in improving the universe in time. Or did you have some specific points you wanted to bring up? Shall we discuss the fact Planet Sarkay is having yet another planet-wide war?"

Shin was taken aback by the fact Beerus knew anything about any current affairs on planets which weren't Earth. "And like the previous wars, it is sure to bring a slew of technological advancements."

Beerus was quietly impressed that Shin had read up on the history. Perhaps his kai wasn't as useless as he believed. "Well, anyway, this is all detracting from my original questions today."

How he thought he'd got away with it… He inhaled slowly and deeply, collecting himself, and preparing for the fact he'd have to answer this time. Probably.

"Good. You look settled. Now, tell me, do you like me?"

Being ready for this question to be repeated helped a lot the second time round. "Having spent more time with you recently, yes, I have come to realise that I like you more than I previously thought."

Beerus frowned. Where was the blushing? The flustered answer? A stutter at least! Giving Shin time to think had been a mistake. Had he missed his chance? "I see. And when it comes down to me or Gohan, who do you prefer?"

This was still a dangerous question. If he said Gohan, would Beerus be angry? But if he said Beerus, would the destroyer take that to mean something…? "I'm glad you remembered his name."

"Goku's son did very well in the Tournament of Power," Beerus said, noticing how Shin was buying time and lapping it up. "It's a small courtesy after all. Now, my question…"

"I don't think you specified in which way I might prefer one to the other. Not that I don't enjoy our conversations, but I would much prefer to talk to Gohan."

Beerus smirked. "You know what I meant, Shin."

His control on the situation was quickly disappearing. If he hadn't reacted as he did earlier, maybe he could have better swerved this question. "Would it displease you if I said I like you both equally?"

"Yes, it would. I'm clearly the better of us. Besides, I'm not a mortal."

"How did you conclude I liked Gohan anyway?" It was a risky question, but he might as well get answers while he was here.

"The way you act around him. Perhaps you can't see it, but as an outsider, I can see everything."

Shin hummed. "Yes, quite explanatory," he said sarcastically.

"I've never seen you smile so much around someone, you know. Not once during that Zamasu rubbish did I see you smile like that around anyone – Goku, Vegeta, Bulma, Trunks… And yet, we're told the universe could be ending in a matter of days and there you were happy as anything when you saw this boy walk into the room. You two were nattering away about strategies and everything – more animated than I'd ever seen you in a meeting." Beerus took a moment to make sure Shin was at least somewhat uncomfortable before he pulled out his favourite piece of evidence. "And then – oh, and this is my favourite bit – when the night drew to a close you gently placed a hand on his arm and suggested he get some sleep." He watched as Shin's eyes begged him to stop. "And when he went you sat there with your chin in your hands watching him go!" Beerus erupted into peals of laughter.

"Why were you watching?!" Shin cried. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping ninety percent of the time?"

"I was just waiting for you two to finish so I could find out what the plan was!"

Shin looked pained as he nodded; that was what he had wanted Beerus to do after all. "Well, you're very observant. As a destroyer should be."

"Aren't I just? It took a bit longer for me to see how I fit into all of this. You're still a bit…jumpy around me." Beerus traced Shin's jaw. "Which is still really amusing seeing as the last person who's going to do anything to you is me."

"Just because you won't kill me, doesn't mean you won't do other things," Shin said. "You've proven that today by what you can do with words alone."

"Oh, and how fun that's been, just to see you get so worked up, and as red as a lobster! But allow me to continue picking your behaviour apart… Since I woke up and met Goku I noticed how you acted differently towards me, and I thought maybe that's because of that time you spent as, uh, Kibishin?"

"Kibitoshin."

"Yeah, and then I thought maybe you also seemed different because we were actually spending time doing something other than just having meetings and sitting round a table on a planet with no mortals. But when I saw you and Gohan, that's when I realised there was a bit more to this. Sure, I'm your life-link, yada yada, but suddenly I could see how you treated people you liked, and people you merely tolerated. Something I couldn't see on your planet where Kibito and Whis are the only other people I got to see you interact with."

"And you decided you fall into the category of 'like' rather than 'tolerate'?"

"Please, Shin, whatever evidence I had before means nothing compared to what I've amassed today. It's blindly obvious that all you want is someone strong like me to protect you and make you feel safe." Beerus placed a hand on the kai's chest and pushed him to the ground. "Your heart's beating so hard I can feel it through however many layers you're wearing."

"There's only two," Shin said, trying to keep his cool. However, it was very difficult now Beerus had him pinned to the ground like this, and he didn't know what in Grand Zeno's good name was going on.

"So, I'll ask you again. Do you like me?"

Was it a trick question? He'd already said yes. "Lord Beerus…"

Beerus's ears pricked up, and Shin noticed, even if Beerus's gaze was still boring into him. Shin looked to see what had caught the destroyer's attention, but it was obvious from the way Beerus was beginning to scowl.

"Whis!" Shin called.

Beerus shoved a hand over his mouth. "Shut up!"

The kai continued to try and call, even if it was all just a muffled word now.

"Why do you want – huh?!" Beerus retracted his hand before realising that all Shin had done was lick his palm – not a tactic he'd expected from his other half.

"Whis!"

Beerus shut him up again, but the angel was standing over them moments later.

"My, my, what's going on here?"

"Fuck off, Whis."

Whis raised his brows, not used to such an unwarranted cold reception. "It wasn't you calling me, my lord. Would you permit the Supreme Kai to explain why he was calling me?"

"Nope."

Whis looked down at Shin's pleading face, but seeing the kai was unharmed and not dishevelled, he decided that he wouldn't test Beerus's patience just now. "I see. Well, play nice."

"How cheeky of you!" Beerus pinched Shin's cheek. "Calling my attendant to help you! What were you going to say, huh?" Slowly Beerus began to uncover Shin's mouth. "And don't you go calling him again."

"And if I do?"

"I'm not against hitting you, you know."

A smirk played on Shin's lips. "Shall we test that?"

Beerus clenched his fist, letting ki radiate from it. "I've been looking for an excuse to show you what I can do."

Shin rethought his plan. "Actually, I'm quite aware of what you can do. It was a rather splendid exhibition you gave at the Zeno Expo."

"Enjoy that, did you?"

"Yes, I was –" Would it be weird to say he was proud of Beerus? "I was very impressed."

There was an awkward pause where neither knew what to say. Shin didn't want to ruin the compliment by putting himself down in the same sentence, and Beerus was busy being flattered by the honesty he could hear in Shin's voice.

"So, you're not going to call for Whis?" Beerus asked, a note of awkwardness lingering in his voice.

"No, I won't. I don't fancy getting hit by you today."

"I wasn't really going to hit you that hard," Beerus admitted, letting go of Shin, but still sitting atop the kai so he couldn't leave. "After all the amusement you've provided today it wouldn't be fair."

"Perhaps you'll allow me to go then? Assuming I've amused you enough for one day."

Shin caught a glint of a canine. "Not just yet. What are the chances you let me get you into such a position again?"

"Very low, I hope." He'd certainly be on his guard even more next time.

Beerus leaned down, gently tipping Shin's chin up as he closed in for –

A hand came between them and Beerus ended up with his lips pressed against Shin's palm.

"I see…" Beerus laughed. "I'd expect nothing less from you."

Beneath him Shin looked absolutely mortified. "L-Lord Beerus…" He was a little lost for words. "Are – I mean – what… Um, that's…" He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose while he thought for a few seconds. Beerus's muffled chuckles weren't helping. "Why?"

Beerus shrugged. "You like me. Apparently. So, why not?"

"Lord Beerus, would you answer me this; do you like me?"

It was not an immediate yes, in fact Beerus made a face that suggested he wasn't all that keen on Shin at all.

"I understand," Shin said before Beerus could say anything in response. "Please allow me to leave now, or I'll call for Whis again."

Beerus could see the hurt in Shin's eyes. "Shin, it's not –"

"You don't have to say anything. I realise I'm not very interesting or talented. There's not much to like about me."

Beerus wasn't quick enough to refute, and allowed Shin to pull himself free. The kai disappeared as soon as he was no longer in contact with the destroyer.

ooo

Whis glanced up as Beerus entered the room, but he said nothing as he continued to sip his tea.

The aroma of the tea caught Beerus's interest. "What's that?" He looked for a pot, but there was none.

"Honey pomelo tea."

"Can I have some?"

"No."

Beerus folded his arms with a scowl. "Is it bad?"

"No, possibly the best fruit tea I've ever had."

"So why can't I have any?" He made to close in on Whis, but the angel was more than ready to keep him at arm's length.

"You don't deserve any."

Beerus rolled his eyes. "What? I wasn't threatening him or anything –"

"I don't care how you act with the Supreme Kai," Whis said. "But your rudeness towards me was uncalled for. Especially in front of a guest."

Beerus scoffed. "Shin's hardly a guest."

"I'm not going to argue with you, but I certainly didn't teach you such poor manners."

"Look, Whis, I was a bit busy, and a bit pissed off that Shin even called for you in the first place."

"Language, my lord, it's –"

"It's unbecoming of a god, blah, blah, I know," Beerus recited.

"A simple 'leave us be' would have sufficed. I would even have settled for a 'please' somewhere."

"Yeah, I guess. I just…" He wanted Whis to know he wasn't playing around with the order to leave, but it sounded like a terrible excuse in retrospect. "Sorry, Whis. It seems I've managed to hurt the two people closest to me in the space of an hour."

"Oh? What were you doing with the Supreme Kai?"

"I was having fun."

"Oh." Whis grimaced as he realised what Beerus meant by that alone.

"I mean, he seemed to be able to take all my teasing and playing, but then…" Beerus scratched the back of his head. "Whis… It's a bit more serious than I thought."

Whis sat back and crossed his legs. "My, my, do tell."

"If we're going to have a gossip, can't you at least let me have some tea?"

Whis sighed. "Fine, but only because it sounds good. I'm still appalled by your word choice."

Beerus grabbed the angel's hand and kissed it. "I'll make it up to you, promise."