Mr. Roboto
Hudson river front, New New York. January 6th, 3000
It was a cold winter in the beginning of the legendary 31st century, and while much has changed since the 2000s so long ago, there are many traditions that remain intact from the now fabled past. One of those customs is the continued transportation of cargo to and from different locations, how else would things get around people (just like in the past) are too lazy to do it themselves, but this time not just on earth but across the galaxy. One of these shipping companies was Planet Express: Founded about fifty some odd years ago with the slogan: "Our crew is replaceable, you package isn't"; the small company has been responsible for the processing of cargo to personal and small business clients across the known galaxy. The crew while small in number proved their skills again and again with many successful deliveries, with some mild hijinks along the way.
After the crew got back from an especially long and tedious delivery mission, they were bummed out and ready for a break.
"Boy," Fry the newest recruit said tiredly; "Who would've thought a planet of roller coasters would be so cool yet so dangerous."
Flashback to planet of coasters
"Now that you're all in my grasp," Said one of the largest living coasters as he took the crew from his hands and placed them on his back;
"Strap in and keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside while I try to kill you all. Have a nice ride."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the crew screamed in terror, except for the robot Bender.
"Awww yeah this is gonna be a fun one."
End flashback
"And that's exactly why I told you all that we should've just delivered the package and left." Leela the crew captain responded, while just as exhausted as everyone else still maintained to speak with assertiveness and control.
"I don't know what you wusses were worried about?" Bender the robot said.
"I had a great time riding those real-life coasters, so much better than the dead-beat ones here."
"Yes, but those 'live' coasters were trying to kill us with G-forces." Amy the crew intern replied
"Besides you were magnetically strapped in and your body can handle triple the forces a human can, you didn't have to worry about anything." Using her technical skills to prove her point.
"Whatever," Bender replied back in his usual rude manner; "Welp, I don't know about you guys but I'm bushed, time for some booze."
Just before he could leave for the night the mail robot came in.
"Mail call, Amy, this letter's from your parents." The mailbot said while Amy walked over to grab the letter.
"Wait," Bender called out now that the mailbot was here; "You got anything for me?"
"Yeah I've got something for you alright," The mailbot replied with a sly grin as he prepared to get revenge. Suddenly a large boxing glove attached to a spring came out of the mailbot's core and hit Bender right in the face.
"That's for my sister." The bot said firmly as he walked out of the building.
"I recognize the handwriting," Bender said still dazed from being punched, "Some classy lady bot for sure."
"Enough Bender," Hermes the company manager said annoyed. "Amy's reading her letter; show some respect mon." Gesturing to Amy reading her parent's letter.
"What did your parents write about?" Fry questioned as he leaned over Amy's shoulder.
"It looks like they got yet another new spacecraft." Amy said irritatedly as she looked at the picture of the new craft her parents bought to continue their collection.
"oooooooh," The crew said in unison as they couldn't help but be impressed by the vehicle's looks and features.
"Is it me or does it have a bumper sticker on the back there?" Leela asked as she looked closely at the picture.
"You're right it does." Amy responded just now noticing this feature.
"It says: We are the disappointed parents of an infertile college girl?" she read in shock, while her parents joked about wanting her to have children, she never thought they were that serious about it and considered her a disappointment because of that. Now whenever they traveled around in this new craft people would see it and know the Wong's were displeased with their daughter. Amy then started to tear up.
"My parents hate me." She said sadly as she started to cry in shame.
"Don't cry," Fry said trying to calm her down.
"Your parents don't hate you, just look at my…" He paused when he realized his parent's situation.
"Who am I kidding?" he cried as he remembered what happened to his parents so long ago.
"I don't know what my parents think of me I don't even remember the last time I saw them. My parents are dead I tell you, deaaaaaahhaahad." He started to cry as he sat next to Amy who was still in tears from her parent's remark.
"At least you and Amy still have parents," Leela added as she was falling under the emotional effect of her peers.
"I never knew my parents; I was raised in an orphanage. My parents are good as dead." As she too started crying and sat down joining her emotional friends.
"My parents were just factory tools," Bender too was started to get emotional from the commotion in the room.
"I was just another product of them, they didn't care about me then and they don't now." He too joining in the emotional brigade like the rest of his friends.
"Lighten up peple," Hermes said with an annoyed voice.
"Once you become a parent yourself you tend to forget about your own. Now I'm teaching my kid to be just like me." He stated with confidence unlike his co-workers.
"Oh my God," he cried as he realized what he just said.
"I'm teaching my kid to be a pathetic loser for a pathetic company, I'm a terrible father." He shouted as he too was consumed in sadness and joined the rest.
"Zoidberg friends sad?" Zoidberg the company doctor and "lobster man" asked as he butted in and saw his co-workers about their emotional status.
"If Zoidberg friends sad, that makes Zoidberg sad too." And started making a weird sounding cry as he capped the list of sad workers in the company.
After a few moments of everyone crying, (some uncontrollable), Someone walked up to the table everyone was at and before anyone could react there was a loud sound of an airhorn. Everyone immediately stopped crying and looked to see that Professor Fransworth was the one with the airhorn, and he had an unhappy expression.
"All of you need to get ahold of yourselves and calm the hell down." Fransworth said much more angrily than his usual dazed and confused self.
"I know this job isn't the easiest thing in the world, but it hasn't made any of my past employees depressed."
"Didn't all you last employees die before they could get depressed?" Fry questioned as he made a logical point for once.
"Shut up Fry none of that's important right now." Fransworth replied
"But I can see that you're all unable to go through this job without losing your damn minds at the smallest things. I've toyed with the idea in the past but now my conscious is clear." He paused for a brief moment to take a deep breath. "Tonight I'm placing a wanted ad for a psychologist."
Everyone then gasped at the sound of a company psychologist.
"You can't hire a psychologist Professor," Hermes objected as he got up and walked to Fransworth.
"It'd be too expensive, and besides we don't need one." He tried to make his case. "Right guys?" He looked back as his co-workers, hoping they'd agree with him and that they didn't need one.
But Fransworth continued to show he wasn't taking no for an answer. "After seeing you all act this way just after a few short days I've made up my mind and going through with it." "This will be beneficial for all of us I know it, and while I have failed my past crews, I'm not failing any of you." Fransworth commented with much more determination and passion than most of his words.
"The Professor's right," Leela added after agreeing with what he said.
"Having a psychologist here will benefit all of us and get us back on our feet."
"That's the spirit Leela," Fransworth complimented.
"Now we just need to wait for someone to apply and we'll see what happens from there." "Man am I on a roll tonight thanks to these knowledge pills Zoidberg prescribed me yesterday." He said to himself as he felt good about finally being on the same page as his workers.
"In the meantime, you should all take these anti-depressant pills from Zoidberg." Fransworth jestered to his Doctor friend.
"I'm useful for once," Zoidberg exclaimed as he felt better after crying with everyone else.
"Here you go my special anti-depressants straight from the planet speedway." The crustacean said as he passed out pills to his co-workers.
"Uh, Zoidberg," Amy interjected. "These are skittles."
"What's this difference they still make you feel better?" Fry replied as he ate his in one swoop.
"Wait a minute," Fransworth said as he looked the knowledge pills he'd been taking.
"Zoidberg are these just tic tacs?" He questioned his friend as he realized Zoidberg made a mistake about the pills.
"You're not mad at Zoidberg are you?" Zoidberg asked nervously not wanting to get a usually angry response out of his friend.
"Honestly I'm not surprised but I am disappointed." Fransworth responded calmly.
"I did trust you with finding knowledge pills to get my attention span back but instead I've been eating colored candies for… when was yesterday?" He asked back in his more normal old and confused self.
"I'm just glad no one needed a laxative." Zoidberg said with relief while taking what he thought was a laxative but was just an M&M. After a few seconds and a squirting noise, he looked down and saw there was a black ink puddle beneath him.
"I think I just inked myself, well that cleared my system goodnight friends." Zoidberg said as he scuttled out of the room oblivious to the mess he made.
"Dammit Zoidberg," Fransworth yelled at the incompetent crustacean.
"I'll get this cleaned up then I'll off to sleep, and rest of you should get some sleep too." He told his crew. "Thankfully there aren't any deliveries scheduled for the next two days."
"Thanks for the concerns Professor." Leela replied, glad to see their boss take some consideration to making their careers better at the company.
"Maybe having a psychologist will be a good thing." Amy thought aloud as she started to warm up to the idea. "It'll give me a chance to talk with someone about my negative relationship with my parents."
"And maybe it'll give me more to think about in this new life I have." Fry added with a more hopeful outlook than before the announcement of the job opening.
"Well look at the time what a day it's been," Fry said realizing how late it was. "Well goodnight guys." He said to all his co-workers as he walked out of the building and back to the apartment Bender and he shared.
"Wonder where he'll find a psychologist." Fry asked himself aloud as he walked on the sidewalk. Thinking now knowing that not just himself but all his co-workers are going to get help with their personal lives he thought what change this will bring to the company and how he's had a rough start so far, but things may now be looking up for him. But little did he or any of his co-worker know that the answer of who this psychologist is and how they'll get there came from a place none of them expected. From a long time ago in a small city far far away.
Rapid City, South Dakota. November 6th, 1999.