I: The beginning of the endgame.

The story of Ixion, in short:

Ixion kills his father-in-law in retaliation for stealing his horses, which itself was retaliation for Ixion not providing the dowry he promised.

Ixion goes mad from a curse.

Zeus, the god of gods, in an uncharacteristic display of kindness, cures his madness and invites him over to Mount Olympus for dinner.

In violation of the sacred rule of hospitality, Ixion spends the meal checking out Zeus' wife, Hera, and later bangs a cloud-clone of her that Zeus made to you know, see how far he'd go. Needless to say, he went all the way.

So, yeah, Ixion was a pretty shitty guy, but if anything, Zeus and many of the other Olympians were even worse.

They raped and murdered more people than you could shake a thunderbolt at, but whereas Ixion spent eternity in the Underworld tied to a burning wheel, Zeus and his asshole family spent it in paradise, eating the most delicious food in the universe.

In my opinion, Ixion's a fucking badass.

For one thing, not only was hospitality considered sacred in ancient Greece, but it was basically to Zeus what forgiveness was to Christ, so spitting on Zeus' hospitality, while not very bright, is damn ballsy. The homie literally stuck it to the man.

-and speaking of ballsy, anyone who has the cojones to try and make a goddess his bitch is pretty cool in my book.

Who am I? I'm the new and improved Deadpool, and I'm looking for trouble. Don't suppose you've seen him?

The Xavier institute: 12:22 PM.

*Ding-dong* The doorbell rang once, and then eleven more times. Logan, also called Wolverine, put down his sandwich in a huff and went to get the door.

He opened it, and found a white-clad Deadpool in the doorway.

"Aw, shit..." Logan muttered.

Deadpool chuckled. "It's a beautiful day. Want to get some fresh air?"

Nothing like a little exercise to whet the appetite and by exercise, I mean bloodshed.

Logan let out a weary sigh. "I'm not in the mood for your bullshit today, so do us both a fav-

*BLAM* Without warning, the new Deadpool drew one of his snubnose revolvers and blew off most of Logan's left ear.

"ARGGGGGHH! Fuck!" Logan held his ear and gritted his teeth in pain.

'You were never an X-Man...' that's what he said. During the celebration of a job well done. Said job being shooting a reincarnated, amnesiac six-year old Apocalypse in the head.

'You were never an X-Man.'

Yep, that's what the X-Men have always been about. Hunting down and executing mutants who pose a danger to themselves and others.

Logan growled as his ear began to heal. "You must be out of your Goddamn mind, Wade..."

"I was well on my way. It was like... looking for the remote and not finding it anywhere, but times a million. Luckily, I found what I was looking for and I've never been better."

Looks, sounds and smells like Wade, but sure as hell doesn't talk like him. He hasn't made a single bad joke or mention of Hugh Jackman. Logan thought.

"You're not Wade... Who are you?"

"Deadpool, of course. The new and improved model."

"What do you want?"

Let's see... need some fighting words. The challenger thought for a moment.

"For starters... Your head on a pike and your daughter on her knees."

*Snikt*

The claws came out and the new Deadpool grinned behind his mask.

Ah, X-23... nothing like an underage girl who knows what she's doing.

Seriously, folks, she's had special sex training and worked as a streetwalker, she knows her way around a cock!

My notes: Hahahaha... I came at the perfect time! So many powerful mutants, still alive and well and all for me!

This is the life eh, Wilson?

This is the life...