Murdoc Niccals, my beloved beast, never does anything without a good reason. His reasons are invariably self-serving.
In this case, what he wanted - needed - was to replenish the professional account he had sucked dry. Certain people had an issue with the amount of money he spent on hotel rooms and meals - as well as a tremendous bill from an upscale children's clothing store. They wished to see him generate some income.
"This is the sort of thing that happens when record labels own your ass," he grumbled.
"Strenuous objection," I said. "The ass in question belongs to me. I won it from Belias fair and square."
"Luckily for me, my- My- M-m-m. Shit. I think I'm running out of fruit."
"At least everyone else is on board."
"Well, I got em all right here, don't I? Don't have to kidnap anyone or lure the birdbrain out with a trail of sweets. Just have to get Noodle to commit. Since we didn't find the other one."
The search for Noodle's cyborg was what left them high and dry to begin with, but I didn't mention this. I was sure Noodle would do that, as often as she could.
"I thought he was joking. I'd hoped he was joking." Noodle stared moodily into her teacup on the first day of creation.
"My beast doesn't joke when it comes to money. You know that. Begs, borrows, steals - but no joking." I set a plate of cookies on the table.
The doorbell sounded, and Lily entered holding Matilda's car seat, followed by 2D.
"Haven't started?" he asked, noting Noodle still at the table.
"He's in the studio. Russ should be here soon."
"We should get right down there then," 2D said, sitting down and grabbing a cookie.
"Your level of enthusiasm matches mine," muttered Noodle, finishing her tea.
"As soon as we get rolling, it'll all come back," 2D reassured her.
Lily passed Matilda over and he held the baby while Lily unbuttoned her blouse. Matilda bounced with impatience until her father sent her back for her mid-morning meal.
Noodle stood. "Let's get on with it." She headed down the stairs to the studio. Their sanctum has moved many times through the years; this was the iteration 2D liked to refer to as "Queens Kong."
2D crammed another cookie in his mouth and bent over to kiss Matilda, dropping a few crumbs on her head.
"Thought she needed biscuits with her milk?" Lily asked, brushing off the baby.
2D followed Noodle downstairs. We heard Murdoc grumbling before the studio door closed.
Russ rang the bell and entered at the same time. "Mood?"
Lily handed him the remaining cookies. "Good luck."
"You know what makes me the happiest about this, Epona?" I asked as I made a fresh pot of tea.
"Murdoc's lost his voice by the time he comes to bed? You have an excuse to buy more biscuits? You get to watch me fill this little mutton chop with milk?"
I poured hot water into the pot and returned to the table. "It sounds strange, but that last one. Because once my little squirrel finishes, Nana gets to burp her."
"Knock yourself out, Nana Kimberly," Lily said, handing me the baby.
I sat down with Matilda and patted her back. "Gathiod and Argentia running things today?"
Lily nodded. "She's been teaching Gathiod everything. It makes perfect sense for them to be my stable hands."
"You're back to riding?" I gently removed Matilda's hands from my hair. "No, no, lovey. You'll get lost in there."
"Yes, thank the saints. It was a bit rough at first, but all good now." Lily passed some chewy toys across the table. Matilda grabbed a yellow rubber pretzel and gnawed it.
"And have you been on your horse yet?"
She didn't acknowledge my joke. I looked across the table to see her staring at the yard. I had a crew putting up a playset for the implings.
"That's for this one, too, when she gets bigger. She can help the girls toss the boys out of the fort every day."
Lily smiled absently and we turned the conversation away from personal things.
The band stayed subterranean until dinner.
Matilda had a long nap, but was getting cranky. Lily was relieved when 2D finally emerged.
"These visits have to be the exception rather than the rule," she said wearily. "If he's going to be this long every time. I have no idea what's required for this sort of creative endeavor."
"At the very least you can drop her off if you have things to do at the farm." I gave my chipmunk one last hug and buckled her into her seat. She squirmed and sputtered as Lily and 2D left.
Murdoc watched them go. "Taking up babysitting, are we?"
"Don't worry, I'll still let you have her sometimes." He'd sooner kiss 2D than admit it to him, but my beast absolutely adored that baby.
"Thought you had a job." He grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, and set them on the table.
"I've decided I'm going to spend more time among the living." I rummaged in the refrigerator for leftover pasta from the night before. I handed him the containers and he started reheating. "I can see what my future holds - and not in any other-worldly way. I'm ready to ease back and enjoy myself. I have this new relationship with Maris, and so many things I want to help her and Dana with as they plan the wedding. I have my sweet new baby. I can spend my time snuggling and spoiling Matilda to my heart's content."
He grunted.
"And," I added, "I can make sure I am available to my Asmodeus for whatever he wants, whenever he wants it."
"In which case I support your plan 100%." He quickly filled the glasses and handed one to me. "To my beautiful breadfruit. Long may you fulfill all my needs."
We sat down to our dinner.
"You know, I'm also thinking of writing my memoirs. You can turn it into a musical or a movie."
"Proud to have a starring role."
"Beelze-baby, don't forget you don't arrive on-screen until just before the credits."
"Climax of the film, you're saying." He raised his eyebrow. "Should be fun to record."
"We'll sell a million copies."
"Set us up nicely, wouldn't it? Right way to finish out my career, I'd say."
"I don't think we're going to have any issues with retirement savings. But if you're that eager to show off your skills, I'm all for it."
"How about a dress rehearsal? You haven't yet worn that saucy little number I bought."
"That was for me? I've been waiting to see you in it."
"Only if I can wear the Gucci sandals."
The corset looked best on me, but he manages high heels better. The matching riding crop was a nice touch.
When all of our toys and play clothes were on the floor, he examined my neck. "Nice and fresh. Last bite mark had faded a bit."
"I meant to mention you need to move south with those. Spring is coming - they're harder to hide."
"I'll make a note of it."
I stroked his cheek. "My love. My eternity."
He placed his hand over mine. "My goddess."
I was 12 when my father died. He had skin cancer and his suffering was intense. My mother was a nurse, and she had no difficulty acquiring what she needed to ease his pain. Her friends risked their careers to help slip her the appropriate meds.
This is how I learned that you do anything your beloveds need from you, no matter what.
My mother kept my father as comfortable as possible. She was also fully prepared to help my father overdose when the pain grew too great for him to bear.
This is how I learned that killing to put a soul out of its mortal misery or to protect it from harm was an act of love.
That wasn't all I learned as I sat by my father's bedside.
My mother was loathe to leave him, and her friends hopped to her assistance whenever she asked. But there came a day when the hospital needed her notarized signature and she had no one available. She fussed over him while he reassured her repeatedly that he and I would be just fine without her for an hour. There was real fear in her eyes as she said goodbye to me, but I was utterly certain nothing would happen while she was gone.
I sat down by my father's bed side and smiled at him.
"Seem to be getting used to that, my little chick," he said.
"To what?" I asked.
"Knowing. Without knowing how. Feeling certain when there is no certainty."
"Dad?"
He sat up a bit, and I reached immediately to adjust his pillows. He gestured toward his water cup, and I handed it to him. When he was done drinking he handed it back and then regarded me carefully.
"There is debate," he said, "among those of the Higher and Lower Planes as to the proper time to tell a child their origins. It boils down to this: every parent thinks they are right and that all other parents are wrong. Pretty much the same as with every other parenting issue, I guess." He chuckled.
"Dad, I think maybe we gave you too much of your medicine. Maybe you should drink some more water."
He sat up further, and when I reached out to help him, he shook his head. I stared as he straightened and turned to face me. There was still some pain in his face, but it seemed smoother somehow. "There is nothing I can do about this disease eating my body. This nonsense is the sort of thing we chance when we assume a weakened form. You have to really want something to take a risk like this. Sometimes it's worth it. And in spite of this stupid thing pulling me from you and your mother, I'd do it again. Just to look at your face and see what love can create."
He reached out and took my hand. I stared down at his - there were patches on them caused by the cancer, but that's not what caught my attention. The skin beneath was glowing. Silver and faint, but it was there.
"Now, most people would jump up and cry 'what sort of witchcraft is this!'" he laughed, knowing full well I never would have done that. "No, you never would," he continued as though I had spoken out loud. "You're no fool and you've known for a very long time there was something different about you and me. Things we knew that other people didn't. You've barely had a glimpse of what you're capable of, my sweet lamb." His face held the same glow as his hands and his eyes had faded to grey. "You do know, don't you?"
"We studied mythology last year-" I started.
"I knew that's when you figured it out! You never said a word." He let go of my hand and sat back, looking relaxed and happy.
"I thought- I thought we had more time. I thought you'd tell me when you felt I was ready."
"And here I am telling you because I'm out of time. Stupid mortal body. Why does this damn planet have to be so close to the sun?" He smiled at me.
"What are you the god of?" I asked. I hoped it was something cool.
"Well-" He hesitated. "I'm- not. Not really. I'd just say 'celestial.' Covers a great deal of territory. Gods, and angels, too - and there are countless levels of them. Explains a lot, doesn't it?"
Yes. Yes, it did. It explained how he always seemed to know what Mom and I needed, almost before we did. It explained his unequaled kindness and generosity and why people seemed to flock to him, to enjoy simply being in his presence. And it sure explained why I was the weirdo I was.
"Not weird," he shook his head. "But certainly different from most people. There are other celestials wandering around down here. Demons too. Sometimes curiosity gets the best of them. Sometimes it's love, as it was for me. I was lucky. Your mother fell for me like a tree in a forest, only we all heard it." He laughed at his joke. "Very lucky."
He sat forward and held my gaze steadily. "Kimberly. What you have is power - plain and simple. I'm not going to give you some nonsense about using it only for good. It's yours and you can and will use it as you please. You have a choice. You always have a choice. Just know that I love you, and I can truly say I will love you for all of eternity."
I leaned forward and held my father, felt his arms around me, and I cried on his shoulder. How many other people could say that? How blessed was I?
"You will live forever too, my Kimberly, my sweet duckling. Your mortal life is yours to do with what you will, but eventually you will leave this earth to take a place among the celestials. Unless you screw up enough to land on the Lower Plane." He laughed at that notion. "This is our secret, my gift to you as you have been a gift to me."
He held me until I stopped crying, and I went and washed up before Mom got home. I didn't want her to worry. When I came back Dad had settled back on his pillows and the pale glow was gone, but I swear I saw it again every time he looked at my mother.
Dad died a week later. Some friends said he'd gone to be with Jesus. Some said he had passed on, and that was closer to the truth. The ones who had it right were those who said he'd been called home. I don't think that's how they meant it, but in all honesty none of it mattered. These are things people say to give comfort, and they were well intended and spoken with love. I was the only one who knew where he had gone, and that he still watched over me and my mother. And would do so for eternity.
I contemplated my retirement.
Summoning had become a bore. Seances were dull. Tedious people wanting something they'd seen in movies. Manifesting barely seemed worth it - using so much of my energy so they could have the same conversations they had when they were still alive.
I didn't mind a good cleansing or an exorcism, but demons were proving an issue - either giving me attitude when I cast them out, or wanting to hang around and catch up on gossip.
I asked Urdek to limit my availability on my website to emergencies, and turn down nearly every invitation I received.
"Boss Kimberly," he said hesitantly, pencil gripped in his claw, "with all due respect - where does that leave me? I can't be in charge of all of your business if you're leaving me with no business to be in charge of."
"Even if I don't have clients to deal with, I still need you. There's a household to be run here, and if you have a mind to learn some new skill-sets, I could probably let my investment advisor and tax consultant go. If you want to take some classes."
"Yes, Boss Kimberly, I could do that. I'm excellent with numbers. And I could also do the cleaning so you can let them go as well. That will save you a lot of money."
"Oh, money I'm not worried about," I said breezily. "As long as the investments I've made keep paying I'll be fine." I glanced at my phone. "Why don't you knock off early, Urdek? Tomorrow you can start researching online universities to add to your already impressive credentials."
He smiled brightly. "Sure, Boss Kimberly! I'll see you tomorrow!" He grabbed his briefcase and disappeared with a boom.
In the years following my father's death I dedicated every bit of my other-worldly powers to comforting my mother. Her sorrow was a terrifying and beautiful thing. I knew how humans consoled one another, and I augmented my efforts with what I drew from my father's gift to me. When I held her, when I wiped her tears, she told me how like him I was. I could not have asked for higher praise.
My mother was no fool. She may never have understood completely what my father was - but that was no insult to her intelligence. It's a testament to his diligence in keeping our lives as "normal" as possible. By the Realms do I hate that word.
Every summer I stayed with my Aunt Marie, a Dianic witch who lived in San Francisco. She knew there was something different about me; she had seen it in my father as well. She encouraged my growth, but she was aware what I came by naturally outstripped anything she could teach me.
The damned things are attracted to power. The first one showed up while I was working my summer job delivering groceries to elderly neighbors. As I left one of their homes on a sultry afternoon, I felt - feathers? A flutter - a breeze - a whisper that felt slightly more solid than mere sound. I ignored it until I reached my aunt's house. I was reluctant to enter with this shadow attached to me. Instead, I went to a wooded area in our local park, and sat down on the ground.
"I didn't invite you, now did I?" I asked. "You have a lot of nerve."
"That's not how you're supposed to address us! Rude. Entirely too mortal - I expect better etiquette from a celestial."
"Nobody schooled me on the rules. Who in hell are you?"
A bit of smoke drifted in front of me and solidified into a grumpy looking demon. "In Hell I'm Dormunx. Up here- huh. Guess I'm still Dormunx."
"I'm Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson."
"You're who to the what, now?"
I repeated myself.
"Why so many names? Kinda greedy, don't you think?"
"My father named me Kimberly. It means royal fortress. Sybelle came from my Aunt Marie. Gaetane for my grandmother. My mother added Aretha after her favorite singer."
Dormunx gave this some consideration. "Still seems excessive."
"Are you here to second guess my family, or did you want something?"
"I needed a lift. Sick of that house. Sick of that old biddy. She called me fifty Earthly years ago and never released me!"
"How frustrating. What do you want me to do about it?"
"Nuthin'. You're just the first one who came along I could latch onto."
"I can see how that would be tempting."
"Sweetheart, you're talking to a demon. You don't know from tempting."
"Where do you need to be?"
"Oh, I suppose I should return to the Lower Realm. Someone's sure to have missed me by now."
"Do you need my help?"
"Now, you know what? That's a very sweet offer, Kimberly Snail Granola-"
"Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson."
"Yeah, all that. But I'm good. I can head down in my own time."
I stood up. "Safe journey, Dormunx. If you'll excuse me, I can't spend my entire day chatting with demons."
I spend most days chatting with demons. Urdek has been my right hand imp for a year and a half. My mornings begin with cheerful conversation and often end the same way, sometimes with a nice visit from my demonic nephew, Marmaduke. Another reason to be grateful for my beast: his hubris and short-sightedness caused me to summon Urdek for the first time.
Wednesday afternoon we enjoyed the company of Urdek's sister Mernak. She brought her children Cecil and Clemencia, as well as tag-along Argentia, to play with Marmaduke. The four of them emptied the plate of cookies and ran outside to climb on the new playset.
We were on our second cups and deep into gossip about Tra'gouroth and his partner Bol-gammon when the studio door slammed and feet pounded on the stairs.
Russ grabbed a cookie off the replenished plate and gave a nod before heading out the door. 2D kissed me goodbye, and shrugged when I asked whether Lily might visit tomorrow.
My beast glared at the door as 2D left, and turned to face Noodle, who dropped into a chair and glared back at him.
Murdoc scowled, his lip twitching, then spun around and slammed out the back door. He stripped his clothing as he strode to the pool, ending in his underwear. The implings froze in place on the playset as they watched. Murdoc dove into the pool and started swimming laps.
I looked at Noodle, who sighed heavily. "I have to leave tomorrow morning."
"I thought you took a hiatus from 'Rescue the Isles'?"
"I did." She stood to get a cup of coffee. "I have another obligation."
"Seems management has not approved your request."
I watched Murdoc emerge from the pool and mutter to himself as he picked up his clothes and returned to the house. He dropped his things inside the back door and appeared at the table wearing my robe.
"I give you points for undressing, Leviathan. More than you did when 2D told you Lily was expecting." Urdek stood, but I placed my hand on his arm. "You finish your coffee. He can clean up his own mess."
Murdoc trudged to the closet and got out the mop. He sopped up the water and then stomped back down to the studio.
"Are you going to see Neil?" I asked Noodle.
"No. We had a difference of opinion. Mine was right and his was wrong."
"I see."
"Since two of my bandmates have settled into relationships and started families, Neil thought I should do the same." She finished her coffee. "It's a different obligation. So sorry it causes issues for his High and Aggravating, but he'll have to deal with it. I'll only be gone a few days."
Mernak called the implings in. Marmaduke gave me a goodbye hug.
"Can you take me to the farm?" Argentia asked Mernak. "That's where my parent is. He can take me home."
"No problem." Mernak smiled. "Gathiod caught that love of horses from you, I see."
"Horses. Yeah. That's why he hangs out there all day." Argentia smirked.
"Excuse me?" I said in surprise. "I was under the impression that I was your father's human crush."
Argentia shrugged. "Well, you know. Demons can be fickle. On the other hand, some of us are willing to wait a very, very long time." She gave me a piercing look and followed Mernak outside.
I gained a reputation quickly. I never saw Dormunx again, but he was far from the last to hitch a ride. As I continued my mundane education on the Earthly Plane I gained far more from those who lived Above and Below.
There are certain forms involved when dealing with demons and celestials, and I was learning from the beings themselves. Advice came thick and fast from demons, who were always willing to recommend the best entity to call for a particular job. I spent my first two years of college honing my skills. It would have appeared to most people that I was studying the "arcane" but the truth was a lot more fun: I was cultivating inside information and writing my own damned books.
I did start collecting them, though. There is a great deal of information out there, set down by people like me who had connections, and sometimes written by the denizens of the Upper and Lower Realms themselves. One has to be very careful with that sort of thing: one tome may be a font of information while another might be some celestial's idea of a joke. It's still worth grabbing everything you see, and I found a couple of demons who were able to review the volumes and take a red pencil to whatever they saw as an issue.
Demons are more trustworthy than celestials. You always know where you stand with a demon. Celestials are enigmatic creatures who act on whim and always please themselves. I ought to know.
Demons tend to be more friendly. After a lovely day of conversation and wine with a demon named Den-Muthe, I received an invitation I could not turn down.
"You know who- you know who'd love to meet you?" she slurred. "My cousin works for Him. He would. Love to."
"Who? Who would love to meet me?" I moved the wine bottle off to the side. We were sitting in the backyard at my mother's house. I'd called forth a demon to help me toss out an unwelcome celestial, of all things. Stupid thing had been called and instead of doing its job it hung around interfering. Den-Muthe was excellent: very knowledgeable and lots of fun. She helped send the irritating prig back the Higher Realm, then stayed for a visit.
"The Big Guy. The Biggest Guy. You know. Himmm."
I was incredulous. "Satan? Wants to meet me?"
"You know- thass- thass- only one of His names. Not His favorite, either."
"What does He prefer to be called?"
"Depends on who's doing the calling. Lesser Imps and what-nots and whose-its need to mind their manners and use something impressive like 'Devourer of Worlds.' Flatter Him, you know?" She slurped her wine and burped. "Now you-" She giggled. "I hear He wants you to call Him 'Daddy.'"
I must have looked utterly shocked.
"Come on, now - you're Kimberly Bubble Crane Arena Gilson! Getting a- making a- gotta- What? Oh- made a name for yourself. Causing a stir. Whaddever." She finished off her wine and set the glass on the table next to her. "If you wanna- You know. I'll tell my cousin. Get you an invitation. To see Him."
I was still in shock at the thought of it. "Thank you, Den-Muthe. That would be lovely." As if I was being asked to tea with the Queen, not to the Lower Realm for a hot shag with the Prince of Darkness.
"K. I'm heading out. Thanks for the wine and the wine." She left with a boom.
I was left with quite the quandary. What sort of lingerie does one choose for such an occasion? I doubted the validity of the proffered invitation, but the following day a demon popped up in my mother's backyard.
"Kimberly Seagull Gaetane Aretha Wimbleton?"
"Close enough. You are?"
"Messenger. I have an invitation for you." He held out the invitation, addressed correctly in perfect calligraphy. The edges were burned, which I thought a bit much. "I'm supposed to wait for an answer."
"Thank you."
"To Ms. Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson:
Lucifer, King of Hell, Devourer of Worlds, Father of Lies,
and Chair of the Garden Committee
greatly desires your acquaintance,
and invites you for an evening of intimate conversation.
9:00 p.m. Eastern Earthly Realm time.
RSVP to this pathetically groveling Lesser Imp.
The Office of Personal Communication
and Inter-realm Relations, Lower Realm
"Tonight? Really?"
"Night being a relative term, but yes. I'll be back to escort you at 8:55 Eastern Earthly Realm time."
"Wow. What should I wear?"
He looked irritated. "How would I know?"
"I'll figure it out. Thank you."
I turned to head into the house, while the demon stood there expectantly.
"I'm not tipping you. Go to hell."
I went up to my room and surveyed my choices. I was heading into my junior year, and had gone to my share of dances and balls, always with Babette as my date. I flipped through my dresses, wondering what I'd been thinking when I bought most of them. The red one was too cliché. The turquoise was dowdy; my mother hated it. I pushed it aside. Ah. This one.
At 8:55 I stood in the backyard, waiting for "a cute classmate" - a little fib for my mother, who never would have believed the truth anyway. The imp was right on time. He stared at my dress.
I shrugged. "You gave me no guidelines ."
He shook his head and grabbed my arm.
It took seconds. I was in one place and then in another. The Lower Realm isn't horrible; no lakes of lava, no pits full of screaming sinners. Not in this area, anyway. That's handled by a different department. The only irritation was the effect of the humidity on my hair. Demons, objects, and landscapes drifted in and out of my perception as the imp led me past a reception desk and into the Throne Room.
Of the thousands of artistic depictions of the Great Beast and Angel of the Bottomless Pit, the Renaissance artists are the ones who got it right. Thankfully. I hoped I appeared calm - I was trying. In spite of my happy familiarity with many denizens of Hell, this shook me a bit. But only a bit.
My demonic escort cleared his throat. "Behold and Hail Lucifer, the Morning Star, the Prince of Dark-"
Lucifer held up His hand at this point. "She knows who I am," he said in a soft, deep voice. "And I know who she is."
"You flatter me, my Lord. How could my name have reached Your ears?"
He leaned back on His Throne. "Demons love their gossip. Mainly I've heard what a vain, sarcastic bitch you are. But I don't hold with that kind of talk. They say vain, I say confident. They say sarcastic, I say clever. They say bitch, I throw them in a pit."
I smiled. "I admire Your problem solving ability."
"I'm being rude." He stood and descended from the dais, and held out His arm. "I shouldn't keep you standing." He led me over to a deep indigo sofa and sat in a large wingback chair opposite me. An imp scampered over with a glass of wine for each of us. White. At my look of surprise, He smiled and said, "Red is too cliché, don't you think?"
I raised my glass. "Precisely why I chose this dress, my Lord. What shall we drink to?"
His brow furrowed. "I want to say 'your beauty' but I feel it irreverent. And not at all why I invited you." He smiled sweetly. "To new friendships."
We clinked our glasses - now who's cliché? - and drank. It was crisp and tasted of apples and pears. Not at all what I expected.
"Best not to have any expectations, really."
I sighed. "My Lord, if You're going to play about in my mind, I'd actually prefer You focus on my beauty."
He shook his head and laughed. "Everything I've been told is true."
"A leading statement." I sipped my wine and looked around. I did not remember seeing the bed when I walked in. I nodded my head toward it. "You warned me about expectations?"
"I'm an optimist."
I laughed. "So this is all about pleasure, and not business."
"I don't think there is any business between us, is there? You do what you do; I do what I do. You have a gift, and you're using it. I'd charge a bit more if I were you, but- your choice."
"I don't charge at all," I said, puzzled.
"My point." He finished His wine and held out His glass. An imp appeared at once to refill it, then disappeared again. "You need to. You do something only a handful of people can do. There's money to be made there."
I saw the tiny demon out of the corner of my eye, clutching the wine bottle uncertainly. I held out my glass so he could get on with his life. "You know, you're right. I'm not really enamored of any of the mundane career paths available to me. This has real possibilities."
"And when you're rich and famous, you won't forget Me, will you?"
I smiled. "I'll be forever in Your debt."
"No. I don't like the word 'debt' here." He cocked an eyebrow at me. "You know what I have planned for tonight, and if there is even a whisper of 'debt' in it, it's destroyed. There's only one reason for you to remove that incredible dress and climb into bed with Me: you want Me. It has to be genuine desire. Nothing less."
"You respected my wishes and stopped reading my mind, I see." I set my wine glass down, and walked over to Him.
"I'll be gentle," He assured me.
"Don't you fucking dare."
There is no morning here, so there is no morning after. There was no shame in slipping back into my yellow sequined mini-dress.
"That was an interesting choice," He opined, watching me.
"I figured you don't see much sunshine down here." I sat down again and leaned over to kiss Him. "Thought I'd bring some with me."
"You brought more than that. It's dangerous for a celestial to descend to the Lower Planes. They are quite often unable to get back out. And unfortunate things can happen to them. Were you unaware, or was it a risk you were willing to take?"
"I was unaware." The thought had never entered my mind.
"I'd never let any harm befall you, but you're powerful enough to manage even without My help. Your mother or your father?" He pulled me back toward Him. I stretched out and put my head on His shoulder.
"My father."
"What was he the god of?"
I laughed. "I asked him the same question. He let me down gently."
Lucifer looked confused. "Let you down?"
"He wasn't god of anything. Just an ordinary celestial."
He shook His head. "No. He may not have been of the highest order, but pretty high up - no pun meant. He was definitely a god, Kimberly."
"My father wouldn't lie."
"She said to the Father of Lies." He sighed. "I'm sure he thought he was protecting you in some fashion - but you're no ordinary celestial. You are a goddess." He drew me in for a kiss. "And you are magnificent."
Tuesday I had coffee with Druvoxin, Bab, Shae, Ral-veth, and Lily. I was happy to see her; she hadn't stayed to chat in a couple weeks.
"I really appreciate you including me, Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson," Ral-veth said, as they accepted a cup of coffee.
"I'm so glad you came."
"Always wondered - why do demons call you by your full name?" Shae asked.
"When I was younger I rather insisted upon it. My names connect me to four people I loved very much. It's become something of an honorific in the Higher and Lower Realms."
"You don't do it," Bab said to Druvoxin.
Dru smirked. "I out-rank her."
"What does that mean?" Shae asked.
"I am Queen Consort to The Fallen One." She laughed. "The sweet little blacksmith currently shoving Montmorency off the top of the playset is Our child."
"Oh, for saint's sake-" Lily stood with Matilda in her arms and slid the glass door open. "Basilia, you leave him alone! Maya and Eudora, you too. If I see you lay a finger or claw on him, Devon, or Marmaduke you are banned from the pool this afternoon."
"Yes, Mrs. Lily," they chorused sweetly.
"I miss that at the daycare," Druvoxin remarked. "They always listened to you. I get to be there every day now that 2D's over here toiling away for Murdoc."
"The Queen prefers to be a preschool teacher?" Bab smiled.
"The hours are better and I don't have to put up with the King."
Lily glanced at her phone, which was sitting on the table. "I wonder how much longer they'll be. I think I'll head out."
"Is it that you need the crib?" Shae asked. "Maurice is probably already awake."
Lily shook her head and strapped the baby into her car seat.
Bab left as well; she had a dinner date with Frankie, her late brother's son. The rest of us headed out back to watch the children and implings enjoy their afternoon dip in the pool.
I graduated from University with degrees in psychology and sociology: exactly what I needed to figure people out.
I call myself a psychic because that's what the people want. It's the word they want to hear, the word they want to see on the sign, the word they want to tell their friends. I set up shop near my home, and decorated it with all the trappings: beaded curtains, candles, velvet furniture, lace shawls. It was atrocious. And it sold.
Word of mouth is the best way to grow a business. Two or three satisfied customers turned into a dozen, which turned into enough bookings to keep me hopping every week. I was saving money for a place of my own. I loved living with my mother but every baby bird needs to spread their wings sooner or later.
But before I could do that, she flew off without me.
I thought I knew grief. I thought I had reached the bottom of it. I thought I had been swallowed whole by despair when my father died. He was returning to his home on the Higher Plane, but it didn't stop the pain of knowing his arms would never hold me, his laughter would never ring in my ear. I thought I knew.
I knew nothing.
I found her on the kitchen floor, with a dishtowel still in her hand. It was that fast. I knew CPR and I worked on her until the paramedics arrived and took over, but it was far too late. She'd been gone for a long time. I would have thought I'd have felt it when her soul left.
Aunt Marie moved herself in to help me. My mother's family was a mystery to me. She wanted very little to do with any of them. I never knew why. Aunt Marie was the keeper of the family secrets, and she kept them from me, even now.
"The main players in that story are gone now, Sybelle. There is no need to relive their deeds. We move along. You have me, and I have you."
A few family members did come to pay respects. They were warm and comforting, and Aunt Marie was at ease among them, so I guessed they had not been the issue. The fact that every single one of them was female did not escape me. When I mentioned that to Aunt Marie she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Long gone. Leave it be." Maybe it explained why my mother had fallen in love with the purest soul she ever knew.
Calling hours happened. A funeral happened. A luncheon happened. They happened to me; I did not feel I was actively participating in any of it. I felt like a little girl lost in a department store. I saw my mother's friends, and her cousins, and aunts - but hers was the hand I wanted to hold and I couldn't find it.
Of that unsettled time a beautiful memory stands out: A large bouquet of flowers arrived at the house, not the funeral home, and were left by the back door. Three dozen roses of the darkest crimson - the flower that represents mourning. I knew who sent them before I looked at the card.
"I'm so sorry, Kimberly," it read. "She rests with your father, sharing their love for eternity. This I personally assure you. Love, Lu."
With Aunt Marie's help I sold the house and settled affairs, as they say. Between the money from the sale, the auction of the items I didn't wish to keep, and her insurance, I was left with a great deal more than I would have thought. I pressed some of it on Aunt Marie, but she refused. Instead, she offered me advice on investments, and I let my instincts guide me. I've been well-set ever since, adding my increasing income as business boomed.
I hoped Aunt Marie would stay longer, and even offered to buy a house to share with her, but she returned to San Francisco after about a month. She left with many tears, and promised to help me whenever and however I needed. She kept that promise until she crossed herself, 25 years later.
I bought a small house in Queens with an attractive storefront and comfortable apartment upstairs. Babette helped me decorate, and we spent many pleasant evenings there. She was intrigued and fascinated by my choice of careers. She never doubted me for a minute.
"Why don't you call your mother up?" she asked one evening, after a great deal of wine had been consumed. "It would be easy for you, wouldn't it?"
I stared at my wine glass and shook my head. "They're together. They had a happy life with me and they have moved on. I won't disturb them; I have no need."
"I've never lost anyone," she replied. "Maybe I'd feel the same. I don't know." She stretched out on my couch and covered herself with the yellow afghan my mother had crocheted. "It's amazing, what you do."
"Everyone does amazing things. I've seen so many lives, explored so many hearts. It astounds me, the depth of love I find. It's far greater than the pain, you know. It's greater than the fear." I reached out for her hand; she grabbed mine and squeezed it three times. "Thank you for loving me, Bab. And for letting me love you."
I cleared out my old shop and donated almost everything. No idea who needed my beaded curtains and laminated star charts, but they were welcome to them. If I was going to do this, it would be clean and business-like.
I tended to overbook the first few years, anxious to stretch myself and make a name. Make a name on the Earthly Plane, anyway. I already had one Down Below. My nights in red satin sheets with the Devourer of Worlds and Other Things did not enter into it, however. Demons love their gossip, as He said, but He allowed none of it when it came to His affairs.
I often worked with three or four clients a day, six days a week. But I was wearing myself out, and mistakes happen when we're tired.
I was called to perform a seance one afternoon, at a house in the Bronx. They were mourning the patriarch of the family. Those who had missed the chance to say goodbye before he left wished to do so, while the grieving widow wanted one last chance to speak to him.
The house was small and neat as a pin, and packed with family members. They crowded into the large, bright kitchen, several mothers and fathers holding children on their laps. I was given a photo of the family at the last holiday they spent together to use as a connective object. Since nearly every one of them was sitting around me, it didn't feel particularly potent.
"This is a lovely photo, and it's clear how happy you are together. But it helps to have something more personal that your husband owned."
She shuffled off toward the back of the house, and returned with a blue bathrobe. "He wore it all the time. Will this do?"
"Excellently. Thank you so much."
I held the bathrobe in my hands. "Mr. Gomez. Your presence on the Earthly Plane is desired. I am your humble conduit. If I may assist you, please indicate your presence and willingness to allow me to serve you and your family."
I received no answer. I waited a moment before repeating myself. His widow shifted in her chair. One of the babies began to fuss.
"Mr. Gomez-"
[heard you the first two times.]
"Traditionally one responds after the first, sir."
[i'm rather new to being dead, girl.]
"Mr. Gomez, I have your family here. Will you allow me to speak to them for you?"
[what? no. hell have i got to say to them? telling you i just got here. haven't even had time to enjoy the peace and quiet. tell them to fuck off.]
"Mr. Gomez-" I was trying to think quickly but I was exhausted. "I'm not really sure I can do that- "
[can i tell them?]
"I can help you materialize-" That was a mistake.
His energy pulsed through me painfully. He stood at the opposite end of the table. The middle-aged man who was seated there swore and jumped up.
**I can say whatever I want now? They can hear me?**
I nodded, trying to keep the flow going.
"Papa!" cried his widow.
**You know I just left, Rosa? You know that. I just left. You have more to say?**
One of the men spoke up, "Papa, my wife and I never got a chance to say goodbye to you."
**Who are you?**
The man looked confused. "It's Christopher, Papa. And Elaine-"
**Oh, you. Never came around when I was healthy, did you? You're not fooling anyone.** The smoky image of the old man turned his head slowly to take in all the people gathered in the kitchen. **I don't even know who half of you are. And half of you who call me Papa ain't even my kids.**
"Papa! Davíd!" His widow looked alarmed. "Why would you-"
**Get off it, Rosa. You wanted to call me back to talk to these fine people? Let me talk. Make it worth this girl's time.**
I was having difficulty maintaining the energy. "Mr. Gomez - just make it quick. I don't think I can do this for long."
**I'll be fast. Or was that the problem, Rosa? Too fast for you? Too small? You never made it clear. What I do know for certain is after a couple of years, you didn't want much of it at all.**
Several of the men and women looked at each other in bewilderment, and his widow panicked.
"Can you- can you stop this, now?" she asked anxiously.
"I really think it's best if you let him finish."
**I finished. Finished bothering at all. Found what I needed somewhere else - and he made me feel more like a man than you ever did.**
"Papa!" she shrieked.
**The rest of your evening would be best spent telling each of our children who their real fathers are, if you can remember. Maybe grab the church directory. That should help.**
[i'm done. let me go.]
I shuddered as the energy reversed itself, and the shimmering image of the man dissolved. As I sat trying to center myself, the buzz of conversation around me rose until I couldn't stand it. Mrs. Gomez was screaming, a baby was crying, and one older man was trying to slip out of the kitchen unnoticed. Clearly I was not about to settle debts here, so I let myself out the screen door and down the stairs into the cool of the evening.
[sorry about that. if they're gonna bug me they deserve what they get.]
"I understand, sir. That would have been hard to resist."
[they pay you for this?]
"It's customary."
[but did she pay you?]
I sighed. "I'm afraid not."
[nasty old bitch. i have an address for you. you go see him. this is the one who is really mourning me, and would never have disturbed my rest. tell him his davíd loves him and misses him, and we will be reunited one day. he'll make sure you get your money, girl. you deserve it.]
"Thank you, Mr. Gomez. But would you like to go see him yourself? I can manifest you for him - and I'll do it for free, sir."
[he doesn't need to see me to know. we said all we needed to say. i was very lucky, girl. may you find a love like mine one day.]
Everyone needed a day away from the studio, especially the ones who called Kong Queens home. Murdoc and I took a drive along the Hudson. We stopped for lunch, an illicit encounter in a state park, and cookies to munch on the way home.
Two glasses of wine in the hot tub and we were ready for much lengthier exertions. As promised, this time he bit me in a place not readily visible to the general public.
That night I had a dream.
I walked along the river, on a gravel path that crunched beneath my feet. I wore a long white gown, which fluttered in the light breeze. As I walked the murmur of the city faded away to silence. The bridges became translucent and then slowly disappeared. The buildings vanished, and I was left alone. As I continued, I became aware of a park bench on my left. My beloved beast sat on it. I approached him but he took no notice of me. I sat on the rough wood next to him. He didn't move. I placed my hand over his but he never looked at me nor acknowledged my presence. His eyes were fixed on the river. I touched his cheek but he still didn't react. Bewildered and hurt, I stood and then knelt in front of him, gazing up at the grumpy face I loved so much. I laid my head against his leg, feeling his heat radiate through the denim. He continued to ignore me. At last I stood, tears streaming down my face, and turned away. I took two steps and the sky darkened to a yellowed grey. The wind picked up and whipped my dress around me. Icy rain soaked me in an instant. I turned back - my only thought to find shelter for us.
The bench was empty. I stood alone in the downpour, staring at the space where my Murdoc should be.
I woke trembling and weeping. He was there - he was right there. Naked, snoring, taking up most of the bed, as always. Where he should be.
I tried to steady my breathing and slow my pounding heart.
I reached out a trembling hand to touch his shoulder, terrified that he would pull away from me. Instead he snorted and rolled toward me, draping his arm across my waist.
"You're shaking." He started to sit up.
"Just a bad dream."
He drew me in as close as he could.
"Murdoc," I whispered, "I need to hear it."
"I love you, Kimberly," he murmured.
Sleep re-claimed me eventually. The next morning I woke before him. I gazed at his sleeping form.
I know most of the people who love me can not comprehend my love for him. My heart was his from the first moment I saw him. I saved him from Belias for his own sake and for mine. I brought him home with me hoping I could create a masterful conduit to the spirit world. And in the hope he might come to want me as much as I wanted him.
I laid my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me. "Good morning, my little blueberry. Feel like going for a ride?"
Our day together began as it always did. It would end as it always did. The sun would rise and the sun would set with my monster by my side.
It was just a dream. That's all.
A virgin at 21, I gave myself to The Foul Beast of Pit and let Him lead me to a paradise far under the furthest reaches of Hell. I never felt a moment of shame or regret. He was wise, He was caring. He ripped my soul and my body to pieces and I loved every minute of it. That's certainly where I came to connect pain with pleasure. It isn't always necessary for me, but when I have it - it's the sweetest thing imaginable. My love for my beautiful snake began with the love of The Serpent.
The utter insanity of being able to place my complete trust in The Father of Lies and then have it betrayed by some lower demon I should never have glanced at twice. But even a goddess makes mistakes.
Mine was Mir'gellen.
I was called to cast him out of a household where he was no longer wanted. Some idiot invoked a name they knew nothing about and then couldn't live with the consequences. Mortals make me shake my head as they pad my bank account.
I dallied with more than a few fiends of the deeper realms, and a handful of celestials as well. The more I rubbed shoulders - and other body parts - with the sacred and profane, the less appealing humans seemed. And they hadn't been that appealing to begin with.
Before I stripped down I told him I was ready to be a mother and wanted to know if he would sire my child. I told him I had no expectation of him to parent this baby. I wanted the genes. I wanted the strength of the other-wordly. I wanted the intelligence. I wanted the determination. I didn't want it from a celestial. My tastes ran deeper, and I never had a doubt that when I decided to become a parent, that's where I would head.
He was amenable. He assured me he had no interest in fatherhood and I would be free to raise my child.
I was well aware that demons are liars, but- not all of them and not all the time. That's the problem. I wanted to believe, and so I did.
I decorated a nursery. I told my Aunt Marie I was naming my baby after her. I took classes, read books, shopped for a breast pump, complained to Bab non-stop, and stood in front of my mirror marveling at the changes in my body.
And I shook with fear - for the first time in my life - when Mir'gellen tried to take her from me. The piece of filth oozed up to my Realm to tell me he had changed his mind. He wanted my baby.
I laughed at him, and that was a mistake. "Got a crib, Mir'gellen? Car seat? You're going to need to get her registered for the best preschools right away - competition in New York is pretty fierce and there aren't any down below."
I was too flippant.
"You think I am amused by this?" he demanded, leaning over the table. "You think the fate of my son is a joke?"
"First of all, sit down. You're a guest in my home, Mir'gellen." I replied calmly. "Second, this child is a girl. Third, this child is mine. There is no way you're getting your claws on her."
He remained standing. "You don't call the shots here, whore. The child is mine. The child is a demon and he will come to the Lower Planes to be raised among his kind."
"I state again: the child is a girl. My daughter. You will not-"
That was when he grabbed me by the throat and lifted me from my chair.
"I will not? I will not? What will I not, human? I will not squeeze the life out of you? I will not rip my child from your twitching body? Is that what I will not?"
For a split-second I couldn't believe what was happening. Demons didn't do this. They knew me. They respected me.
"Get- your fucking- claws-"
"You don't give orders to a denizen of Hell."
No, I gave orders to the King of Hell. Orders like "harder, faster, deeper." This insane thought tumbling through my head seemed to remind me just who I was.
"You are nothing but a pitiful human-"
Oh, dear. Wrong again.
I brought my fist up under his jaw. More from surprise than anything else, he took a step back. Had I not been a waddling gestational wonder at that moment, I might have followed it up with a good kick to knock him right over. As it was, I grabbed the chair he had just picked me up from, and threw it at him.
He lunged for me again, but this time I was ready and stopped him in his tracks. I let the humanity slip - just the tiniest bit. Just enough for him to see.
He actually hissed at me. Talk about cliché.
"You are a liar. You are a deceiver."
"Get out of my house, Mir'gellen. If you had even the faintest idea of who I really am you'd have stayed in Hell like a sensible boy."
"Half-breed slut. I'll have what's mine."
"All that's yours is a lot of vanity coupled with mediocre ability. Get out."
He disappeared with a bang.
I slumped onto the floor and wrapped my arms around my belly. "Never you mind, my Maris, my sweet daisy. I will never let anyone harm you."
A crack rent the air next to me and I scrambled back, spinning on my bottom and reaching for the table leg to haul myself up.
My uninvited guest crouched down next to me, and drew me into His arms. "My darling. Are you all right?"
"Lu." I rested against His chest. "Do me a favor-"
"Already done. His charred bones are warming My court as we speak."
"You always know just what to say to a girl."
He helped me up and led me to my bed. He fluffed my pillows and tucked me under my bright yellow afghan. He smiled at the color. "What can I get for you, Kimberly?"
I grunted as I adjusted my pillow behind me. "His complete and utter destruction was the only thing I would have asked."
"He laid a hand on you in anger, and this I will not abide. You were amazing." He walked around to the other side of my bed and laid next to me, stretching out companionably. "How are you going to do this, Kimberly? This child will be like no other."
"All children are like no other."
"I fancy this is more literal for your child than is generally the case. My darling-"
"Just watch out for us, my Morning Star. I'll raise her as my parents raised me - with undying love."
That's what I've done.
The celestial in her was counteracted by the demon - and she still had demon to spare. She is brilliant and fearless. She truly is a child like no other.
No other child has Lucifer as a god-father.
I threw together a wedding for Lily and 2D in a matter of weeks. Maris and Dana were planning for next summer, so I had plenty of time to interfere.
Once upon a time my lovely lotus would have fought me tooth and nail on anything I suggested. But Maris and I had come to an understanding a few months ago. We achieved a level of respect for one another I would never have believed possible. I give most of the credit to the beautiful red-haired woman currently sitting on my patio, rubbing my daughter's feet.
Dana Quinn was every bit the walking miracle Maris believed. She was funny while remaining kind, generous while remaining centered. She was the perfect foil to my sarcastic, pessimistic daughter.
We relaxed on the patio after a light lunch. The June sun was doing its very best to make up for what had been an unusually rainy May.
"It's been almost three months, National Velvet," Maris addressed Lily. "Are you sufficiently un-babied that we can get some dress shopping in?"
"This soon?"
"We don't all leave everything to the last fucking minute. Some of us have the sensibility and organizational skills to anticipate any sort of issue with our party and plan accordingly." Maris spoke loftily, and dissolved into giggles as Dana started tickling her feet.
"That's me she's referring to," Dana said, "in case a single one of you were taken in by her bull crap."
"But really, Bob," Maris turned back to Lily, "we do want to get an early start because we need a fuck-ton of dresses for rather different body shapes. And we need to get dresses for the flower mob."
All of the impling girls were participating in the wedding, as well as my best friend Babette's grandchildren, Maya and Devon.
Bab sat next to me with little Maurice snoozing in her arms. I had my own grandbaby on my shoulder, sniffling as she drifted off after some crabby time. "Gowns have to be pre-ordered," I said, "and then there are fittings and alterations and second fittings."
"Aren't you glad you took the easy way out, Secretariat?" Maris asked Lily. "All you needed was a bargain basement dress and all that drippy, gooey, nauseating love."
"I'll do whatever you need, of course," Lily said quietly.
"Oh, we had something else we wanted to share with you, Kimberly," Dana said. "Maybe Maris wants to tell?"
"Of course Maris wants to tell," my daughter said. "Maris loves to make dramatic proclamations." She sat up and gazed at me levelly. "I've decided Uncle Lu was right. I want Him to walk me down the aisle."
The glass door slid open and 2D slipped out. He leaned over to give Matilda a kiss, then sat down next to me. Murdoc stopped just outside the door.
"That's wonderful, sweetheart," I said. "It will make Him so happy."
"Of course this leaves me with the pretty problem of who is worthy enough to take my arm," Dana said.
"No one," Maris stated flatly. "Fucking no one is worthy enough. I know I'm not."
"Lucky for you I don't share your opinion," her fiancée replied. "Obviously the men in my family are unworthy, as well as foolish, having rejected me for being me. There is only one man I can think of who has been kind and brave, and has praised me and comforted me, and has one of the most loving hearts I have ever known, though he tries so hard to hide it." She slid Maris's feet off of her lap, and walked over to stand in front of Murdoc, her smiling freckled face gazing up at his grumpy green one. "Murdoc, would you please walk me down the aisle?"
My beast's jaw worked, and he blinked several times. He nodded, and Dana raised on tip-toe to kiss his cheek.
The year that brought me joy and new life brought Babette pain and death.
I never really knew Frank, her younger brother. I didn't know who Russel Hobbs was, and it would be years before I aided and abetted his kidnaping. Russ was the only person to survive the shooting that had taken the lives of his friends.
"I need to know it didn't hurt." She curled up with me on my couch, her head on my lap, sobbing. "Please - Kimberly - I can't bear it. I need him to tell me it didn't hurt."
"I tried. I tried, Bab." I was bewildered at being unable to reach him. I offered myself repeatedly, invoking his sister's name. He would come to me for her sake, I was certain.
Frank never responded at all.
Bab was inconsolable and I was frightened and confused. The one thing I could do to bring my friend comfort and I couldn't make it happen.
The irritated celestial I summoned had nothing. I called Den-Muthe.
"Hey, Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson! How's it going with the Big Guy? Is the kid His?"
"No - and that subject is closed. He'd flay anyone He heard say it."
She pouted. "Fine. What good is it to have a connection if I don't get any juicy gossip? Well. Did you summon me? I can't remember why I'm here."
I related the sad story of Frank's death. "My best friend can't eat, can't sleep, can't think. She wants to talk to him so badly. I can't find him. The celestial I talked to said he wasn't there. Can you- ?"
She headed down and returned almost immediately. "I checked with Admissions. He isn't on the Lower Planes." She helped herself to the wine bottle on the table and grabbed a glass. "There's something odd about this. If the celestials are hiding him for some reason you'll never find him. Never. I can't think of anything else."
"Me neither." I picked up my wine glass and refilled it. Once she has a drink in her hand, Den-Muthe is in for the long haul. It was another hour before I could get her to boom back home.
I had to give up on Frank and it was a blow to my ego. Thankfully it was not a blow to my friendship. Bab knew full and well I would do anything I could to connect them. If I was out of ideas, she had to accept it. It kept me awake for several nights. It would trouble me for 22 years - until I learned where he had been hiding.
"Boss Kimberly, I just wanted to remind you that I'm leaving early today to pick up Marmaduke, Montmorency, and Pendragon."
"Are you taking them somewhere?"
"It's volunteer work they enjoy. Would you like to come, Boss Kimberly? They invited Mrs. Lily once - I'm sure they won't mind."
We went to Little Devil's and picked up the boys. Urdek drove to Brooklyn, and pulled into the driveway next to Birchwood Elder Care. A woman popped out of the office behind the front desk when we entered.
"Hello, boys! You brought another friend?" She looked at me penetratingly. "This one knows."
Pendragon nodded. "You have to sign in, Ms. Kimberly."
The receptionist drew in a sharp breath when she saw my signature.
We were greeted with smiles and cries of delight from the residents of the home, seated throughout a bright, cheery room.
One gentleman waited at a table, a checkerboard set up in front of him. "Papa Al, this is Ms. Kimberly," Pendragon said. "Ms. Kimberly, this is Papa Al."
"That celestial they brought mentioned she knew you, Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson. It's wonderful to meet you."
"I told you Mrs. Lily isn't a celestial, Papa Al." Pendragon sat down opposite his friend.
Montmorency took my hand in his claw and finished introductions. He ended with Papa Benjamin. "He's sad because Mama El passed a few weeks ago. She was really hurting."
I placed my hand over Papa Benjamin's. "I'm so sorry for your loss, sir."
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "Thank you, Kimberly Sybelle Gaetane Aretha Wilson. I know I'll be with her again."
"If I get down there first, I'll let her know you're coming," called Papa Al. "In the meantime, I get to keep beating you at checkers."
"You can't beat me, though!" Pendragon crowed.
I visited with each resident, speaking Spanish with Papa Pedro and Mama Julia, whose English was limited. I learned which were demons or celestials waiting to reunite with their human spouses, and which for whom the opposite was true. Several couples lived in the home as well, having no local family to care for them.
I spent a delightful hour among my new friends, and then they kissed the implings goodbye. I promised to come see them again.
Urdek drove me home, and then he and the boys popped off.
I poured a drink, took it out to the patio, and stared at the river.
I can look into anyone's mind and understand them. I couldn't look into my own and see the message I had sent myself.
My father died of cancer, his mortal body consumed by cells that had no right to be there. My mother died of a stroke. I took decent care of my body - I looked down at the glass in my hand - other than this, of course. Check-ups and mammograms and all those marvelously invasive procedures. But the possibility of dying before him was very real.
In my dream the world had faded away around me. The storm came when I walked away from him. And when I turned back to protect him, he was gone.
I had no concerns should my beloved beast die before me. In spite of the friction between them, I knew Lu would honor His promise to keep Murdoc safe on the Lower Planes until I arrived. But I am Murdoc's protection in the Earthly Realm. I've pulled him out of sticky situations with flattery and negotiations and generous amounts of cash. There was no way for me to make sure he wouldn't be whisked away by a rebellious Belias or one of his many human enemies. There were depressingly numerous possibilities. Where could he be safe if I flew away first?
I left a note on Urdek's desk to get me the number of Birchwood Elder Care. For some reason they had no website.
This is the lesson I learned as my father lay dying, and my mother's friends risked their careers to help her free him from pain: you do anything your beloveds need from you, no matter what.
I let Bab down many years ago. She wanted to know her brother was safe, that he wasn't in pain. She wanted a chance to say goodbye. That chance came to her in the strangest form. I watched the video Maya showed Bab. I had seen it before, but I never knew Del so I made no connection. It made perfect sense to me at last. I couldn't find Frank on any Plane because he and his friends had taken refuge in the head of the only survivor of the attack that stole their young lives: Russel Hobbs.
When she asked, I didn't hesitate.
We flew to England with Frankie, Frank's son, whom Bab had raised as her own. Our attempt to locate and waylay Russ went quite well. We couldn't have foreseen the issues we would face in the next couple of days. We were confounded by the early return of his friends, then by the fact that they never all left the house at once, and then by Russ being tossed out of his body into the nearest convenient soft, furry vessel.
This is the other lesson I learned as my father lay dying and my mother prepared herself to ease his journey: killing to put a soul out of its mortal misery or to protect it from harm was an act of love.
As I stood by Russel, trying to puzzle out what had happened, his friends came to his rescue. My work was interrupted by my beloved's voice, smooth and utterly sincere, threatening to kill me.
I turned to face him, and I was lost.
I was delighted when Lily decided to spend the afternoon on Friday. Argentia and Gathiod urged her to take some time off.
I took Matilda out of her car seat and straight upstairs after getting a whiff of her. 2D headed down to the studio and Lily followed me up to the nursery, Maris's old room.
Matilda was not having any of this diaper changing business. She did her best to squirm away from everything that came near her small bottom.
"You can't go anywhere, you know. You're strapped down nice and tight."
"She's ridiculous lately," Lily said as she wandered around the room. "Up half the night."
"Teething?"
"Feels like it." She came over to pick up Matilda. "All you want to do is eat and not sleep, right, fussy-pants?" She kissed the baby's cheek.
I took Lily and Matilda into the city for lunch, and then treated them to a shopping spree. We ran into several of my friends, who congratulated us and admired my grand-daughter. Other than some whining at the last store, Lily behaved herself perfectly.
When we got home I used Marmaduke's ice cream to make milkshakes for the two of us. "You'll get yours presently," I told the baby as I set Lily's next to her, and settled down to enjoy mine. I sat carefully; I'd taken some delightful damage from my monster last night.
Lily was quiet as Matilda snacked.
I didn't try to draw her out; that doesn't work with Lily. She's more likely to clamp shut or refute everything said to her.
She switched Matilda to the other side, and sipped her milk shake. "This is delicious."
"It's the Marmaduke special. Urdek orders the groceries, so we're always well stocked on ice cream."
"Us too." She stopped speaking and chewed her lip.
I waited.
She handed Matilda to me while she buttoned up. "You know but you haven't said anything."
"I won't unless I am asked."
"Say something. Something wise. Say- say something a mother would say to me."
I rested my tired head against Matilda's soft little one. "My mother would have said that sometimes what we want changes, and change isn't a bad thing. She would tell you to listen to your heart."
"What was your mother's name?"
"Thérèse." It had been years since I spoke her name out loud. It felt silken and smooth on my lips. I was suddenly overcome with longing for her. I could not imagine the emptiness of never having a mother at all.
Lily sloshed her straw around in her shake, which had started to melt. She didn't say anything more. After a few minutes she walked to the dock, and sat at the end. When the band finally emerged, 2D headed down to join her. My beloved beast sat beside me and took my hand.
"Finished those memoirs yet, hmmm?"
"I've just now gotten to the good parts."
"Those would be my parts, then. Not too many details - some of my moves are trade secrets. You signed a waiver at some point, I'm fairly sure."
"Safe with me, Asmodeus. No one will ever match your talents. No one ever could."
"My goddess."
"My eternity. My only love."