A/N: Yeah. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. But I just couldn't stop thinking of shipping battles as involving actual boats, and that somehow turned into this.
Excited talk rippled through the huge crowd gathered overlooking the waterfront. Sun streamed down, glittering off the waves and sunburning unwary faces. Today was the biggest event in anyone's memory. Today was a ship battle of epic proportions!
Of course, most people were here for the big battle: the ATLA Zutara up against the ATLA Kataang. Both had masses of supporters in the crowd, waving flags and sporting t-shirts. One overenthusiastic Zutarian was throwing handfuls of pamphlets over the crowd: 10 reasons why Katara and Zuko are perfect for each other (and 10 reasons why Katara and Aang are the worst thing since canned spinach). An irate Kataanger retaliated by pelting the pamphlet guy with Kataang buttons.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ATLA Ship Warfare!" the announcer said into his mike. "And if you will look down thataway, you will see the ships coming out!"
The crowd roared as the first ships started out, sailing out of the dock area and into the wide bay where they would do battle. The first ships were little fringe ships, bobbing in the waves. Junroh and Sozaang were in the front, little rickety things tossing back and forth. Sozaang didn't even make it halfway before it started to sink. The crew (three college girls and an old man with a potbelly) hastily abandoned ship, swimming to whatever other ships were in reach. Jetara and Kateru sailed next to each other, the crews shooting nasty looks over the rails.
The bigger ships started to emerge. A roar went up as Tyzula sailed out, closely followed by Sokkla. Tokka and Taang weren't far behind. Maiko chugged along next to Sukka.
And then the real excitement began as two massive ships nosed out into the bay. Bristling with weapons, swarming with people, they slowly made their way forward. Zutara was bigger, but looked slapdash and a little unsteady, plates hastily welded to the hull, bolts rusty. Kataang was smaller, but in better shape, looking solid and sturdy.
"Aaaaand let the battle begin!" the announcer yelled, and chaos descended.
Maiko took out Jetko pretty quickly, cannons booming. Junroh didn't even git hit once, just flipped over in the waves. Tyzula sized off against Sokkla and Tokka. Taang got whacked by a stray Zutara shell and floundered.
Most of the crowd's attention was focused on the two biggest ships, though, as they faced off menacingly. The crew waved things and yelled insults at eachother. The pamphlet guy started jumping up and down and yelling. A row of Kataangers in the front stood up, holding a giant Kataang banner. Foaming Mouth Guy passed out from the excitement.
The big battle seemed to be waiting for more room, though. For the moment Kataang and Zutara seemed content to sit still. Tyzula put a hole through Sokkla's side, and cheered as the ship went down, sailors jumping off from all sides. Tokka turned her attention to Taang.
"It's dying down, ladies and gentlemen! And – oh, it looks like the Kataang and the Zutara are starting to get into position!"
The crowd cheered as the two biggest ships moved closer, turning broadside. The crews shook fists and yelled across the water.
"And Zutara has the first hit!" the announcer shouted, as the shell exploded against Kataang's side, shaking the boat. An image burst out: Katara and Zuko in dark clothing, flying together on Appa.
Kataang didn't seem too affected, and fired off their own shot, Aang and Katara moving closer together in the Cave of Two Lovers as the torches dimmed. In response, Zutara shot another cave scene: Katara and Zuko in a green-lit cave, as Katara gently touched Zuko's scar.
Kataang laughed derisively and retaliated with a moment from the same cave. "You're a horrible person, you know that?" Katara cried. Zutara shuddered, a piece of railing falling off and taking a couple of the crew with it.
Zutara loaded up again, the big cannons. Another shell exploded against Kataang's stern, and Katara appeared, hugging Zuko on a dock at sunset. Kataang rocked.
"Ohh," the announcer said. "It looks like Zutara's starting to break down, folks!" The rusty ship trembled as it was smashed with an image of Katara bringing Aang out of the Avatar State in the desert. Something in the ship buckled with a screeching sound.
Zutara hastily fired off another shot that slammed into Kataang, making the whole boat shudder and list: Zuko leaping into the path of Azula's lightning.
"And it looks like Kataang is breaking out the big guns!" the announcer declared. "She's going in for the kill!" Zutara's side buckled as an image of Aang and Katara's kiss at the invasion burst out. The crew yelled, desperately trying to patch the hole, and fired off an image of Katara healing Zuko after the lightning strike. "Thank you, Katara," he whispered.
Kataang shook, but Zutara was in bad shape. As she listed to the side, Kataang went in for the kill. All the guns fired at the same time, and as glorious music swelled to a crescendo, Katara and Aang, on the balcony of the Jasmine Dragon, kissed passionately.
"And Zutara's holed, ladies and gentlemen!" the announcer yelled. "Zutara is going down! It looks like Kataang is the winner of – wait!" The announcer stared in disbelief. "She isn't going down! Zutara is holed, but she's still floating?! If anything, she's gaining more steam!"
The audience shrieked and roared. People started leaping off the stands and swimming out to the ship. "Zutaraaaaa!" someone screamed.
"Oh, come on!" the announcer shouted in disbelief. "Now they're firing fanfics at Kataang! Why aren't they sinking? What's going on?"
As Kataang drew back in shock, Zutara surged with new strength, decks packed past full. Holes everywhere in the hull, and not even listing.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have no idea what's going on!" the announcer yelled. "But Zutara's not sinking!" He stared for a moment. "What the heck! Zutara forever!" He tossed the mike aside and ran into the water along with everyone else.