Changes
A/N: Relationships can be a tricky thing and require a balancing act. This story is for all those who have lost someone to another or experienced a change in a relationship. At times the latter can be bittersweet.
Since Ino was young, she knew that she hated change, for It brought with it much uncertainty and only gave her a knotted stomach along with a tight heat of dread. Therefore Ino liked to be safe and preferred familiarity rather than reaching for something new and unknown.
Why couldn't things stay the way they were? Such wishfulness had become Ino's mantra for as long as she could remember. It was especially prominent as Shikamaru wanted to start a different kind of relationship with Temari.
Ino had developed a finely tuned ability to read people, and she picked up on the subtle dynamics of their evolving relationship. She had read the signs which had compiled over the years between the pair. Throughout their childhood, Temari and Shikamaru had been antagonistic towards each other, but not in a way that was egregious but rather flirtatious. Although Ino had seen this day coming for some time, she still had not mentally prepared herself for the reality, which was to her detriment as it had finally arrived.
Ino found herself trying to focus on Shikamaru, who was currently confessing to her about Temari and seeking her advice. Shikamaru explained that he had told Choji already, which came to no surprise to Ino, who logically knew that Shikamaru would have sought Choji's advice first as he could offer a male perspective. Despite Shikamaru's nonchalant ways, Ino knew that he felt things deeply and was invested when it counted. He liked Temari a great deal, and he needed to get this off his chest; therefore, Ino marshalled her control. She wondered if he knew, though, that he was hurting her in the process.
Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck then. "So, what do you think?"
Ino knew that he was implicitly seeking her approval right now. Despite her feelings, what could Ino do but give her blessing?
Ino conceded with a sigh and managed to smile despite herself, for she could not forever be the only woman in his life. "I think it's a good idea."
~ooOOoo~
The resounding topic on the lips of people who knew Ino well was how hard she would take the news of Temari's acceptance of Shikamaru's proposition since they knew all too well that she and Shikamaru were close. Ino was all too aware that Choji, among others, were walking on eggshells around her. They had been discussing the issue behind her back which only made things worse for Ino. She knew that she would miss Shikamaru greatly, but Ino didn't want to admit it because it would make her feel weak.
One fine day, Choji had finally managed to hunt Ino down despite her best attempts to evade him. She was with Sai in a random field planting flower seeds while he drew. It seemed she had sought refuge in the one person who wasn't treating her any differently.
Choji was unsarcastically serious as he reached her. "Ino. Are you sure you're alright?" he asked then.
Ino merely smiled as she continued to rake the soil and add seeds. "For the hundredth time. Yes, Choji, I'm fine," she simply answered, "Why is everyone making such a big deal about this?"
Choji lifted an eyebrow as he was not convinced. "It's okay to be upset, you know. I would understand."
Ino merely threw her shoulders back as she rose to full height. "Oh, please, I'm not going to be one of those girls who sob everywhere, Choji. I'm dignified."
Before Choji had time to rebuff, Sai arrived. Ino quickly came to his side in relief and placed a hand on his arm.
"Sai, thank god you're here," Ino managed, "You can back me up. Isn't it undignified to cry hysterically?"
Sai stood taller then while he stared back into her eyes. "Of course," he stated as if compelled.
Ino triumphantly turned to Choji. "See."
However, Choji was no longer listening to her as he became focused on the ex-root member. It was Sai's lingering look on Ino's face that caught his attention. It was the way Sai gazed at Ino, even though she was now too busy bombarding Choji with points to prove that her opinion was correct.
How strange?
Ino removed her hand then, and Choji swore he saw a millisecond of disappointment in Sai's eyes. Since when had they gotten so close? And when had Sai become comfortable with physical touch? Still to this day, when Choji tried to give him an encouraging clap on the back as he did with Shikamaru, Sai always dodged it.
Choji shook himself free from him his thoughts. "Fine, you win," he conceded then, knowing that he was losing the battle of wills.
In return, Ino smiled with pure satisfaction.
Choji, however, merely shook his head in mild amusement before turning to Sai instead. "What have you been drawing, Sai?" he asked, trying then to divert the conversation to better ground.
Sai reflexively held his sketchbook closer to his side. "Nothing exciting," he simply stated.
It was then that Ino turned to Sai with a bright but intense expression as her features became passionately animated. "Don't say that. You're too modest," she informed, "You are the most talented artist in Konoha."
Sai lightly shrugged. "There may be others who are better than me."
Ino became determined once again. "Maybe outside of Konoha. But you are the best here," she stated, and after such a declaration, a soft quiet soon settled around the pair. Subconsciously, Sai had moved unnervingly close to Ino, and she seemed to welcome his advance as she did not attempt to move away. They intimately held eye contact for far longer than would be deemed culturally appropriate for a platonic relationship. Ino was too busy staring down Sai in determination to notice that for him, there was something far more profound brewing behind those dark eyes.
It was then that Ino remembered that they had company, so she broke free first and spoke, "Choji, you need to see his draw-" But when Ino turned around, Choji had disappeared. Her expression became puzzled. "Where did he go?"
Meanwhile, Sai hadn't noticed Choji's abrupt departure, for he was too busy trying to recover from the loss of connection with Ino. It had left his soul rattled as he had been on the verge of wanting to touch his lips to her own. It was a strange reaction which, despite frequently experiencing as of late, he had still been unprepared to feel.
Sai took in deep breaths, settling his voice before speaking. "It doesn't matter," Sai answered, "He interrupted us after all."
Ino nodded with an amused smile before turning back to Sai. "So true," she acknowledged while placing her hand on his arm once more, "Sorry I interrupted your process. You can go back to your drawing if you want."
Sai avoided Ino's eyes this time as he made a move towards the rows of toiled soil. There was a rising heat that he tried to squash. "It's fine," he answered, "I can help you instead."
As Sai busied himself with the task, Ino snuck upon him. Only when Sai was about to straighten up did Ino catch his shoulders from behind and stop him. She peered over Sai's shoulder then. "You'll show me what you were drawing, though. Right?" Ino asked in an unknowingly teasing manner.
Sai tried to not start at the unexpected proximity nor Ino's mischievous grin. Despite irrationally wanting to give her everything she asked for, Sai marshalled himself and stood firm. "I'll think about it."
~ooOOoo~
Weeks later.
Ino was stewing over the many changes that had already occurred, for as the more weeks that passed, the more she believed that Shikamaru was spending every waking minute with Temari. They were in this sickly-sweet honeymoon phase which was unlike both of them!
Ino was the type to hide her true feelings towards people so as not to burden them; therefore, she said nothing to anyone. Yet this did not seem to apply to Sai, who was receiving an earful.
"Can you believe couples?" she asked then while being less than careful with the stems in her hand, "I mean, do they always have to spend every waking minute together?" Her questions were laced with a visceral annoyance.
Sai watched as Ino heavy-handedly snipped off the flower stems in her gloved hands.
"Are you referring to anyone in particular?" he asked, although knowing full well the answer. It was regarding the only man that Ino talked about these days.
Ino continued as if uninterrupted. "You know Shikamaru is not the type of man to become so single-minded in a relationship."
Sai had become increasingly irritated and bored by the topic. "This is his first relationship, so how would you know what he is like?" he asked non-concomitantly.
Ino held the shears Sai's way. "That doesn't matter. I know him better than anyone," she stated.
Sai wondered if Ino saw him as an emotional eunuch as she did not offer him the same kindness when it came to hiding her feelings. Strangely Sai was finding It off-putting to have her speak so much about Shikamaru despite knowing that they had a brother-sister dynamic. Perhaps it was because Sai was finally coming to understand the sheer depth of their relationship. He was truly starting to realise how vital Shikamaru was to Ino… and It seemed to bother Sai.
~ooOOoo~
Sometime later
For the first time, Sai experienced relief when leaving Yamanaka flowers as his head was filled to the brim. The sun's tremendous warmth and the gentle breeze offered further relief, and he closed his eyes against it. However, the moment was brief because when Sai reopened his eyes, he was met with Choji approaching.
The burly man spoke first. "Sai, I was hoping to speak with you."
Being the expert of remaining neutral faced Sai swallowed down the rising sigh of exacerbation that had been making its way up to his throat. He held it in his chest, which was becoming the container of his awakened feelings.
Choji was unusually serious as he turned around and followed Sai on whatever path he was taking. "I need your help," Choji stated his intention then.
Sai regarded the man with interest. "With what?"
Choji sighed. "I think Ino is hiding how upset she is about Shikamaru spending all his time with Temari," he began.
Straight away, Sai's temples were sent throbbing at the name, and his jaw clenched slightly. He was sure that his head would burst at one more mention of the shadow manipulating shinobi.
"What do you think I can do about that?" Sai asked despite himself.
Choji considered the question for a moment. " I don't know...You spend a lot of time with Ino. I'm sure you can think of something."
Although Sai knew Choji's observation to be accurate, he was still not specific enough. " What do you want me to achieve?"
Choji looked determined now. "Just make Ino admit her feelings," he said.
Sai regarded Choji then, for they both knew that Ino was stubborn as a sitting bull. However, it was not like he could refuse Choji as there was no logical reason to do such a thing.
Sai offered a half nod in agreement and, with his Choji, thanked him and veered off. After a few more paces, the former root member stopped his pursuit of the shelter of his home. Even though alone in the less commonly walked street, Sai still held in his sigh before turning towards the direction of the shop. Ino would have most certainly closed up, but Sai thought that getting this little task out of the way sooner rather than later was better for his sanity. However, when Sai finally reached Yamanaka flowers again and peered through the closed shop window, he saw a sight he was unprepared to witness. He watched as tears were leaking from Ino's eyes unhindered, yet she continued arranging the bouquet before her. At frequent intervals, she wiped her eyes with the back of her now non-gloved hands. It was strange as Sai suddenly thought that if those tears were for him, he would have found them pretty as they would represent her depth of feelings. Yet they were not for Sai but another man, so he selfishly found them irksome.
It seemed that Choji had been wrong. Ino was feeling Shikamaru's distance and too much by the looks of it.
Sai knew that his silent jealousy for Sasuke made sense because he saw the former traitor as a competitor. However, his envy for Shikamaru was unfounded, for he was a brother to Ino…was he not?
~ooOOoo~
The next day
Sai had returned to Yamanaka flowers after his day of work despite not particularly wanting to; however, he found Ino's demeanour drastically altered. She had lost her fire and vocally opinionated nature. Sai took his usual seat to draw; however, he soon found that he could not focus on his canvas for the lack of loud conversation. He could have heard a pin drop as the only sounds that filled the room were Ino tending to her flowers. She seemed to have drawn into herself, and there was a sad air that hung around her. It was not the Ino he had come accustomed to knowing. Sai sat at loose ends, unable to understand what had happened nor knowing what to do. He had never had to initiate a conversation with her before because she always took the initiative. Yet today, it seemed that she had lost interest in engaging. The former root member settled for ignoring the silence, but eventually, it became intolerable to him. It was then that Sai noticed the bouquet that Ino had been working on the previous evening while in tears which was odd as her bouquets were often delivered when finished.
Words seemed to rise from his throat. "Who is that bouquet for?" Sai asked randomly.
Ino was roused from her automatic functioning to follow Sai's eye line.
Her words were colourless. "Oh…Shikamaru ordered them for Temari; I imagine he is just late in picking them up."
Ino offered no more explanation as she returned to her task of changing the buckets of water. However, Sai found a heat taking hold now at her answer. No wonder she was acting in such a way. It was at this moment that Sai wondered if Choji's approach had been all wrong. Maybe it was not Ino who needed the talking to, but Shikamaru.
Sai was quick to abandon his pencil and canvas then and left the shop without a word of explanation. The former root member could not explain the strange, altogether hot irritation that had taken hold of him. On their own accord, Sai's hands reflexively opened and closed as if they had a mind of their own. He was experiencing a solid compulsion to strike a certain someone. It was like a manic possession as Sai determinedly sought out Shikamaru. He went to every location that Shikamaru customarily could be found however it was after several attempts before Sai located him.
Shikamaru did not display any form of shock at spotting Sai coming his way until, without ceremony, he left hands on his shoulder. The next thing Shikamaru knew was he was being shoved backwards. It was the sheer surprise of the attack from the usually composed Sai that had left Shikamaru unprepared. Many in the street found their attention caught by the sudden altercation.
Sai confronted Shikamaru then. "How could you make Ino put together a bouquet for Temari?" he asked with a subtle edge to his voice, "Even with my limited social knowledge, I know that was not an appropriate move."
Shikamaru's relaxed features quickly morphed from concern to resignation. "They're not for Temari," he explained, "I just said that so Ino wouldn't get suspicious. They are actually for her. "
Sai forced his brow not to crease at such an explanation. "Why?"
Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck then. "I wanted to apologise to her."
Sai looked at the shinobi before him with growing scepticism. "By making Ino make her own bouquet?"
It was with this that Shikamaru flinched for a second. "Now that you said it out loud...your right; what a stupid idea."
The confession allowed Sai to understand that indeed Shikamaru was, in fact, genuine in his unknowing carelessness.
Sai swallowed down the raising sighs of frustration that were becoming more frequent and held it in his chest once again. Sai was running out of room in there, though, as the pressure was building to breaking point.
"It looks like I am not the only one who is not good at handling other people's emotions," Sai highlighted.
Shikamaru took a pace back as he thought about how to fix the mess he had made. "Yes. I get it, Sai."
The pale shinobi faced him then with a severe but still expression. "I don't think you do...you have upset Ino to the point of tears."
For the first time, Sai saw a deep worry In Shikamaru's usually carefree face. "Has she been taking it that bad?"
Sai did not have to say a word as Shikamaru figured by Sai's earlier confrontation, but since when had the former root member been so invested in this issue concerning himself and Ino? It was a fleeting thought before Shikamaru stated, "As tough as Ino thinks she is, I knew this change would be hard for her."
Internally Sai became further confused. "If you knew, then why were you not more careful of her feelings?"
The question stumped Shikamaru, and he could not bring up words.
However, soon it was Sai's turn. "I think…" Sai seemed to struggle to get the words out, "She's in love with you; that's why it has been hard for her."
Shikamaru froze, not unexpecting such a sharp turn in the conversation. He lost his breath, and his eyes shook, and it was the first time Sai had seen dread on Shikamaru's face.
"That's…that's impossible!" he stuttered, "We grew up together. Ino is like a sister to me."
Sai merely stated matter-of-factly, "But she isn't your sister, not by blood, and you aren't her brother."
Such frank words caused a sudden silence to settle between the two men as they now stood in their individual concerns regarding Ino.
~ooOOoo~
A little while later
After hurriedly coming clean to Ino about the flowers, Shikamaru continued on his mission to clear the air. However, it just earned him a hard punch from Ino. "You're disgusting! I don't love you in that way! " she screeched.
Shikamaru massaged his arm and tried to quell the reflective anger from getting hit. "I know!" he clarified, "It's just Sai made me think because we aren't technically blood-related-"
Ino's anger morphed into confusion. "Sai spoke to you?"
Shikamaru merely nodded. "He said that you were upset-"
Ino's hands balled into fists once again, but there was an underlying sadness that she failed to keep at bay. "He had no right to speak to you about this."
There was a moment before Shikamaru moved towards her. "Ino, I know that you would be upset with this change, and I'm sorry I haven't been more-"
Ino shook her head. "I'm not having this conversation," she clipped back while making a move to leave, "He had no right to tell you anything."
"Ino," Shikamaru called after her as she departed.
~ooOOoo~
Sai was not surprised by the sound of approaching footsteps as only one other person knew of this place...neither was he surprised by the sight that was drawing closer. After all, he had been expecting such a reaction. Ino was marching towards his position on the high hill under the shade of an old tree.
Ino launched into her tirade before she had even come to a stop or allowed Sai to stand. "I swear you are the most socially inept person I've ever met!"
Sai worked hard to suppress the frustration threatening to burst forth as his chest was fit to explode. He calmly rose despite his tentative state.
Ino continued, "What gave you the right to share my feelings with Shikamaru?"
Sai remained neutral faced. "For the simple reason that you were never going to despite it constantly eating away at you."
There was a reflective clawing motion as Ino's hands moved on their own accord to reach Sai, but she stopped her reaction. "What if I went to Naruto and told him everything that I saw in your mind?" Ino asked roughly then.
Sai was taken aback by how usually callous Ino was being. There had been times in Sai's emotional reawakening where Ino had had to go into his mind to soothe him, and the vulnerability of having such thoughts shared was deeply unsettling.
"You wouldn't," Sai breathed then, causing a break in his mask.
Ino's anger quelled for a moment at the sheer child-like dread in Sai's eyes.
She drew in a shaky breath. "Of course not," Ino reassured, "I'm just trying to make you understand how you've made me feel. You betrayed me."
"I'm sorry. I would never intentionally do that to you," Sai was quick to apologise.
Ino found her anger quickly melting away at his sincerity, for people had many opinions about Sai but, one thing was widely acknowledged- he was pure of heart. Sai was a like child in that way as he would never hurt anyone premeditatively.
Ino let out an exasperated sigh, for she could not truly be annoyed with him; therefore, there was no simple outlet for her emotions, and this is what was getting to her.
"Do you how Shikamaru and, by extension, Temari must be feeling now that you've seen fit to air my private matter?" Ino asked in a defeated tone.
Sai studied Ino then as her immediate thoughts made him think. "What about your feelings? Who will take care of them?" he curiously asked.
There was a moment of unexpected shock at the question, and Ino averted her eyes as her cheeks grew flush. "Well…Shikamaru was always my first port of call…so I suppose I will have to look after my own now because who else will? I doubt you would want to."
When no attempt of denial arose, and only silence followed her last statement, Ino swiftly looked up. Sai had returned to his neutral expression, but there was something behind his dark eyes that Ino swore he was silently willing her to find it.
Ino shook her head then and did not linger on such fanciful ideas that her mind was creating. She opted to pursue something more real. Therefore, she turned to leave, "I have to make sure that Shikamaru isn't feeling guilty because of all of this."
The answering scoff that followed, which Ino had never once heard from Sai, caused her to pause. It made her turn back around with an incredulously look on her face.
There was a rising heat that had been building over the weeks. Sai recognised it as the same emotion he had experienced when Shin had been reanimated. Anger. It seemed there was a bottom to how much Sai could put away within himself. His chest had been fit to burst, so an outflow was inevitable.
"You need stop," he suddenly let out.
The sharp reply caused Ino to become utterly perplexed. "What has gotten into you?" she demanded in a question.
Sai moved away from her, creating some much-needed distance. "I don't want to hear any more about Shikamaru," he clarified.
Such a statement only surveyed to confuse Ino further. "What?" She asked, offended, "I don't understand."
Sai's forehead creased. "I'm not surprised because you have been too busy lately to try."
Immediately Ino rebuked the implication. "From the beginning, I have done nothing but try and understand you," she defended.
Sai could barely control the shake in his hands as the pent-up emotions were coursing through his veins. "Should I tell you what I find most annoying about you?" he suddenly asked.
Ino made a grand gesture with her arms as she reacted in annoyance. "Oh, please."
Her dramatics only served to add fuel to the fire. "You're so single-minded," Sai began.
Unsure of where such attacks were originating from, Ino became lost from the sharp turn their conversation had taken. "About what?"
"About Shikamaru and his situation. You are so consumed with him that you don't even see what is in right front of you," Sai continued.
Ino was beside herself now. "See what?" she exasperated.
Sai could barely standstill from all the energy, which was uncharacteristically heightening his emotions. "You once said that despite your feelings our default relationship would always be friends," he started, unable to hold back, "You said that it would be this way unless things changed for me," Sai reminded as he tried to breathe. He was finding it hard to do so from the intensity. "Well, I have come to realise that things have changed," he managed to push out.
The sudden and unexpected confession knocked Ino out. She became stuck, unable to process the words that were now ringing in her ears. She merely stood in the light of Sai's confession, utterly breathless. It had been so far from her mind that not once had Ino ever considered such a moment. Yet here it was, and Ino experienced a surge of heat like no other which seared her chest; it was a mixture of excitement and pure joy. She tried to force her lungs to inhale the air so that she could speak.
"Oh," she stated simply.
Sai was put out by such a noncommittal response to his bare declaration from a woman who had words on every subject imaginable. "Oh?" he repeated.
Ino tried to gather herself as she became increasingly flushed at her inability to express herself. "I mean…Okay then," she explained.
Sai had regarded her with confused eyes. "Okay?"
Ino's face had turned utterly bright though her eyes still held shock. "Okay,…to us."
Sai harshly quelled the fluttering of hope as he desperately tried to push away the warm heat of acceptance that was assaulting his chest. However, he was weaker than he realised, and the fight was over quickly. "But what about Shikamaru?" Sai quietly asked as he tried to protect himself, "Don't you love him?"
Ino was slowly starting to realise all the undue distress she had caused Sai and how her words had affected him over the last few weeks. "I need to explain," Ino began quickly. She launched into a hurried explanation of her reaction to Shikamaru's news and the reasons why she had been taking it so hard.
"I love him deeply but in a different way to you," Ino ended.
A deep answering breath was exhaled as Sai felt all the weeks of tension drift away. It was slowly becoming clear that he wasn't going to lose her to Shikamaru despite their relationship having far pre-dated his own to Ino's. Sai had been so caught up in this fear that he realised now he had been unable to think of anything else.
Meanwhile, Ino was unable to quell the small smile that pulled at her lips at the sight of Sai's momentary display of relief. It was only once Sai composed himself did he approach Ino and moved into her personal space.
Ino merely welcomed him with loving eyes and a quirked smile, that is until Sai began to lean his face in close. The energy that was generated by Sai's proximity was electric, and Ino wondered if he was experiencing the same charged tension at their nearness. The sudden light behind his eyes indicated yes.
Ino's breath became shaky as Sai's hands found their way to her waist. She peered up at him through half-lidded eyes at the feel of his touch and the caress of his breath on her face as he looked down at her.
"Yes, we have a very different relationship," Ino managed to explain lowly as her hands came up to Sai's face and held it in a way she had longed to do. "It's the...desire," she managed to breathe out the last part.
The former root member was all too aware of the term as it whispered across his skin, for it was Ino who had awakened such a thing inside of him. It was akin to this unbearable heat that ached and could only be quenched through physical gratification.
Ino waited on tenterhooks to see how Sai would react as she gave him time as her eyes closed on their own accord. It was to be that Sai finally gave in to the urges he had been experiencing for some time. He tentatively brought his lips to brush against Ino's in the briefest of contact yet caused Ino to become instantly weak. It was to be that Sai continued to press his lips to Ino's in kisses which, although unpracticed, became more fervent and demanding as his hands ventured into her hair. It seemed that amongst the solitude and in light of their official change in relationship, the couple lost their inhibitions. Sai was finding it near impossible to keep his previously checked impulses at bay any longer.
After such a blissful end to a tormented few weeks, It was to be that Ino realised at this very moment that change wasn't always a bad thing. Although still unknown and scary, changes could be remarkable- Change was necessary in life, and Ino found that she didn't fight this particular one. In fact, she wholeheartedly welcomed it.
~ooOOoo~
A sighted goodbye kiss by Sai at the door of Yamanaka flowers some days later sent the rumour mill spinning reels of gossip in Konoha. As a result, Shikamaru found himself walking circles around Temari and Choji. He seemed to believe that he was portraying a relaxed demeanour while wearing holes in the floor.
"Did I miss this little development? Since when has Sai wanted to kiss anyone, let alone Ino ?" he asked then, "She supposedly had no complaints...and I mean she can do whatever she wants."
Temari watched on as she saw through the façade and witnessed Shikamaru's brotherly instinct. She had to hide a smirk at his behaviour.
Shikamaru faced Choji then. "She should never date," he proposed, "Right?"
Choji just sighed with a heavy head and turned to raid a nearby cupboard in Shikamaru's home to avoid the question. He was not going to be dragged into this...For here we go again.
The End
A/N: This is the way I imagined Sai confessing.