Damaged At Best

by keeparecordofthewreckage

'You almost married someone else today...' This is a companion story/sequel to my one-shot 'Until We Freeze' This ongoing collection of one-shots is meant to exemplify times in which New Dream have faced difficult situations and must console one another. This sequel is set directly after the events of Beyond the Corona Walls, in which Eugene almost married Stalyan (Rated M).

Damaged at Best

Summary: 'You almost married someone else today…'

AN: This is a companion story/sequel to my one-shot 'Until We Freeze!' This ongoing collection of connected one-shots is meant to exemplify times in which New Dream have faced difficult situations and must find it within themselves to reassure one another that, despite life's trying circumstances, they will always want and love one another. This sequel is set directly after the events of Beyond the Corona Walls; the night in which Eugene was nearly forced to marry Stalyan, leaving both him and Rapunzel incredibly shaken up.

Today's featured songs (yes, there are four, because I'm an indecisive loser) are Parallel by Heffron Drive, Whatever It Takes and Broken by Lifehouse (the second of which directly inspired the title of this fic), as well as Sorry by Buckcherry (a longtime favorite of mine). Each song reminded me of a billion stars hanging from the sky and a quiet field in the dead of night as the moon overhead illuminates the swaying grass around New Dream, finding themselves reeling from the fact that Eugene almost married another woman. I really hope that you guys enjoy this.

She said, if we're gonna make this work

You've gotta let me inside, even though it hurts

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see

She said, like it or not it's the way it's gotta be

You've gotta love yourself if you can ever love me…

She'd thought that she was ready now. She'd thought that, after everything they'd gone through that day, she'd come to the long-awaited realization that she truly is ready; as ready as he's been for months now. But she'd managed to read the situation all wrong – had managed to read him all wrong – and Rapunzel hates it when things feel even remotely wrong between them. Perhaps because it happens so infrequently. And perhaps because it makes her feel really, really anxious inside.

She's already lost him once, after all.

Her back remains to him as Rapunzel walks softly along the beaten, forest path, not wanting Eugene to notice the way that her head is absolutely spinning with anxiety and doubt tonight. Eugene has always been able to read her like an open book, and the last thing that Rapunzel wants right now is to make him feel even guiltier about what happened today than he surely already does. It's not Eugene's fault, what happened. Rapunzel knows that. Yet, she's not entirely sure who to blame, if anyone.

It would be easiest to blame herself, perhaps. After all, if she'd never convinced Eugene to go on this journey with her in the first place, he never would've been forced to dredge up the ghosts of his past. Now that she's thinking about it, blaming herself sounds much more reasonable than anything else.

Chipper as always, Rapunzel had suggested that they spend some time alone, that they get away for the night, just the two of them. It had been a wonderful idea, or so she'd thought. They could hold one another, talk about what happened. They could reconnect. But tromping through the woods behind her, Eugene has barely said a word for the last twenty minutes, which is completely out of character for him. Typically, he would be cracking jokes or telling her how pretty she looks, but he's not saying anything.

And it's freaking her out. It's freaking Rapunzel the hell out, because she'd almost lost him tonight, and right now isn't the time to think about getting married, according to him. What does that even mean: 'Now's just not the time?' Does he feel differently now, after everything? Is he second-guessing their relationship, wondering if the constitution of marriage is really meant for him after all; second-guessing if she is the one that he wants to marry?

No, of course not. Eugene stills wants to get married. He still wants to marry her. Rapunzel knows that. It would be incredibly silly to consider anything different, because Eugene loves her. He loves her more than he's ever loved anything. He'd only meant that they're on the road now, and they're on this new journey, and she really hasn't been out of the tower for all that long, and right now just isn't the time to worry about something like getting married. Eugene would never change his mind; at least, not about her.

Right?

Eugene's haunting words from earlier that evening ring in her ears as they wander wordlessly through the forest, leaving a bad taste in her mouth, though Rapunzel understands completely why Eugene had said them. After all, she'd rejected him first, hadn't she? They're not ready, not yet. They're not quite on the same page, even though she would like them to be. And as much as she'd like to, they can't use another woman as a good reason to get married, because it's not a good reason.

They can't use it as an excuse, almost losing him to another woman, but she wants to. She wants to, because right now, Rapunzel needs the reassurance; reassurance that their relationship is still secure, that they're okay. That it's alright if she's not really ready to get married yet. She needs that reassurance more than anything. No, she's desperate for it. This unbearable anxiety is rushing through her veins, she's terrified after everything that's happened tonight, she loves him, and she wants him. The air is hot, and so is she, and Rapunzel wants nothing more than to just be reassured by him; reassured in whatever way that he sees fit. Reassured that he could never want anyone else ever again.

Rapunzel knows what's true and she knows what her anxiety is telling her. The truth is that Eugene would never hold it against her for not being ready for marriage yet, that he's already promised his patience to her. That he's a man of his word. And yet, she's still desperate for Eugene's reassurance, that nagging voice in the back of Rapunzel's mind promising that he's surely going to leave her if she continues to reject him in this way.

Despite the truth and anxious voices swirling around in her head, blurring reality entirely, Rapunzel knows exactly in what way she needs to be reassured: it starts with several cheeky, suggestive comments from him that will make her vision blur and her heart pound, and ends with their clothes off. But she isn't sure if he feels the same way.

Frankly, Rapunzel doesn't really know what Eugene is feeling right now. She doesn't know where his head is at, given what he'd said to her earlier that evening when she'd been on the verge of proposing, the question hanging from her lips when he'd ultimately cut her off:

'That's not necessary.'

Isn't it?

He'd almost married someone else today, standing there in a crowded room of eager onlookers who'd been waiting for him to sell his soul to the female version of the devil himself. Eugene has given all of himself to Rapunzel, to the girl with the wide eyes and the magic, golden hair; the girl who has entrusted him with every piece of her. The girl who he has come to entrust with every piece of himself. Every damn piece.

And he'd still almost married someone else! After everything, only because of his reckless youth, Eugene had still almost been forced into marrying another woman.

It had been Rapunzel's idea. Maybe they should get away for the night, just the two of them. They could leave the group behind on the outskirts of Vardaros, give everyone the chance to regroup after the hectic, stressful evening they'd just experienced. They could find a place deep enough in the woods, far enough away from the caravan that they could mull the entire thing over in peace, just the two of them; so they could reassure one another in whatever way becomes necessary.

'That's not necessary.'

Standing there in the room where he'd almost just gotten married, the adrenaline still fresh in the air, Rapunzel had been about to propose to him. And he'd said no! Like an absolute idiot, he'd said no. She'd won him back, she'd offered herself to him, she'd poured out her entire heart in front of a crowded room… and he'd still said no. She'd said this entirely endearing line about not knowing what her future holds, but knowing that he is meant to be in that future, that she loves him.

She'd been about to ask him the very question that he's been dying for her to say yes to for months now, and he'd denied her! Like a fool, he'd shut her down before the question could even fully form on Rapunzel's lips. He'd cut her off and cut her down, and Eugene could see it in Rapunzel's eyes that she was disappointed by him for the second time in only a few days. She'd pretended not to be, the trooper that Rapunzel always is, had pretended that she wasn't at all hurt by his refusal. But Eugene could see that she was, her silence now being the greatest indicator of all.

She'd felt rejected, he could tell, and Eugene feels horrible for that; for everything. But now really just isn't the time… right? That's what he'd said, the words falling from his tongue with a bitter taste, begging of him to snatch them back and swallow them down with his pride. And although he understands now why it would be best for them to wait to get married, part of Eugene desperately wishes that it weren't true. He'd known what Rapunzel was about to say in that adrenaline-filled moment – what she was about to ask – and a selfish part of Eugene is already kicking himself for being so quick to deny her, even though he knows that it was ultimately the right thing to do; that Rapunzel will thank him for his self-control in the long run.

After all, she'd asked him to be patient with her, and he'd promised that he would. Eugene knows what promises mean to her; what it means to her when a promise is broken. He'd made the right call tonight, turning down Rapunzel's cut-off, misguided proposal.

Hadn't he?

Besides, Eugene doesn't want anything about their marriage to be tangled up in or inspired by his almost-marriage to someone else. He doesn't want his marriage to Rapunzel to have anything to do with Stalyan, of all things. Right now, Rapunzel wouldn't be saying yes – wouldn't be ready for this – for the right reasons, and Eugene doesn't want that. He wants it to be right: the right time, the right place. The right reasons.

But deep down, although he knows that he can't admit it to a clearly shaken Rapunzel, Eugene wants to marry her more than ever in the wake of the entire Stalyan debacle. He so badly wishes that he could've said yes, that their circumstances could've been different. He wants to stand Rapunzel on an altar, look at her in a gorgeous, white dress, and hear the words 'I do' fall from her lips, and then he wants to kiss those lips. He wants to kiss those lips all night long, consummating that marriage good and well, wants to make her moan and plead for him. He wants to be her husband, far more than he's ever wanted to be anything.

Eugene wants that, all of it: the lifetime commitment, the ring on his finger, the settling down. He wants all of the things that he'd really never wanted before falling in love with Rapunzel. He wants her, every piece of her, so badly. So badly, in fact, that his chest is starting to hurt just thinking about the possibility of having her tonight, watching Rapunzel closely as she meanders on ahead of him, padding quietly through the dim forest with her bare feet, trying to find the perfect spot for them to rest for the night.

No, she's probably not even ready for that. She's probably not even thinking about that. It's been a few weeks, it's been… it's been way too long. But you can't push it, you can't assume that she wants the same thing. It's been a long day; a hard day, a horrible day. You almost just shattered her heart forever, so it's okay if she doesn't feel the same. You'll get to hold her, you'll get to be with her. That's more than enough, so get your head out of the freaking gutter.

Despite his self-scolding, Eugene can't help but allow his mind to wander in the dusk-covered forest. He wants her so badly that his chest hurts and his heart aches; so badly that another, highly sensitive part of him aches, too. He's not too good to acknowledge it, not too proud to admit that he wants her in this way. Not after the stressful, hectic night they've had. Not after almost losing her. He's not too proud to let his mind wander like this, not too good to admit that he wants to lay her out in the grass, wants to hear her beg and scream for him; something that Eugene hasn't been able to hear for a while now, tangled up in the confines of the quiet castle at night.

He always wants her. But tonight, maybe just a bit more than usual.

And Eugene wants her now, wants to coax every possible plea from her lips. He wants to reassure her (and himself), wants to start over, and wants to forget this horrible, stupid day. He wants his hands in her silky, golden hair, her velvet tongue in his mouth, his dick hard and wet between her legs, taking from her whatever she's willing to give to him after he'd so stupidly almost lost her. He wants her in a way that goes far beyond simple lust. He wants to make love to her, so that he can be reminded that he's never, ever made love to another woman before her. Not even to Stalyan. He wants to make Rapunzel forget this stupid day, too. He wants to marry her, more than ever before. And Eugene's desire is growing by the minute as they wander through the forest now, almost painfully so, driving him close to insanity.

Nearly being forced to marry another woman will do that to a person.

But patience, Eugene has learned, is entirely necessary where true love is concerned. It's a virtue which cannot be faked, nor can it be rushed. True love, agonizing as it is, can be a waiting game of sorts. And if he can have her tonight – if he can just reassure Rapunzel that he could never want anyone else now that he's had her – that would be enough, for now. They would have plenty of time to worry about the whole marriage thing when they get back to Corona. For now, their love for one another would be enough, if he could only reaffirm his unconditional love and commitment to her.

It would be more than enough.

Enough to keep Eugene from feeling incredibly furious with himself? He's really not sure. Rapunzel is capable of a lot: capable of pushing him to embrace Eugene Fitzherbert again, capable of pushing him to become the best version of himself, capable of pushing him to actually find some genuine self-worth. She hadn't forced him to become a better person. Not at all. Not in the way that Stalyan had forced him into so many things, wrapped around her toxic, little finger. Rapunzel hadn't forced him to change. She'd inspired him, made him want to change. But he's angry tonight, and all that self-worth has been thrown right out the nearest window, replaced by an ugly dose of self-deprecation and self-pity; which, in Eugene's opinion, has never been a good look on him.

And he always looks good.

And he doesn't even want to be angry, doesn't want to feel this way. It feels selfish, somehow. But Eugene can't help it. He is. He's angry with the world, he's angry with Stalyan. Most of all, he's angry with himself. He's angry, because she probably feels even worse than he does right now, and it's all his fault. Rapunzel's beautiful spirit, flexible and strong as it is, appears to be all kinds of broken tonight.

And it's all his fault. He broke her.

God, why does he have to feel so angry? Well, because Rapunzel, the little chatterbox that she is, has barely said more than ten words to him on their journey into the forest. Eugene has always had a special gift for gauging exactly what his princess is thinking or feeling, nearly at all times. And for the first time in a long time – since first meeting Rapunzel, really – he can't read her, and that inability to read her is killing him. It's killing him, because he knows Rapunzel like the back of his own hand, knows her better than anyone else in her life does. He always has.

Eugene knows her, and she knows him, and everything between them is going to be fine, because he's going to make this up to her. He's going to talk to her, he's going to explain everything. He's going to answer every possible question about his past – about Stalyan – that Rapunzel may have, as much as Eugene would rather pretend that the whole thing never even happened. He's going to explain, and he's going to love her in whatever way that he has to – in whatever way that she wants – until everything between them is fine again.

He's touched every part of her – every part of her body, every part of her mind, every part of her soul – and it's never been this hard. Everything between them has always been so easy, so natural, as though their hearts had been searching for one another all along. But now, tonight, it feels as though Rapunzel is a million miles away, having found herself in a different galaxy altogether. She's not talking or joking with him, she's definitely not looking at him. And it's killing him inside, because Eugene is dying to know what's going on in that pretty, way-too-good-for-him head of hers.

Is Rapunzel so calm because she's worn herself thin today? Is she so unnaturally reserved and quiet because she's simply exhausted after the emotionally taxing few days that they've had? Frankly, he couldn't blame her if it were true. Fuck, he's exhausted. Or rather, is there a hurricane raging on in her head, dragging her right down with it? Is there a storm silently blowing right through her, convincing Rapunzel that she deserves far better than him? He sure knows that she does.

Eugene hates to self-deprecate in this disgusting, lowly way, hates to feel so sorry for himself. It's gross and unbecoming, he knows. But he can't help it. She deserves better. Unbelievably strong and brave as she is, Rapunzel has already been through so much in her young life. The poor, sweet girl deserves better than to be forced through emotional turmoil after emotional turmoil, all because of his past. All because of the selfish, stupid things that he did before even meeting her.

She always has, Eugene realizes now as he ponders their past; as he ponders how their pasts had become so fatefully intertwined. Rapunzel has always deserved far better than to wonder if she's good enough, to wonder if she's wanted, to wonder if she's loved in the way that she loves: so hard, and so deep, and so unconditionally. He's always known that. Eugene has always known that, from the first day that he met her. He's always known that Rapunzel deserved far better than the cards that were dealt to her.

And what has he done to improve her hand? What the hell has he done to make life easier for her, to protect her from any further heartbreak?

Rapunzel is someone who just doesn't deserve the heartbreak that's been handed to her. She has so many stories in her head – so many dreams – so many emotions that she's only come to understand in the last year or so of her life. She has so much empathy, so much kindness and warmth in her little body that it threatens to burst her apart, because it's just not in her nature to return the hurt that people bring upon her. She has so many questions and so much curiosity, so much that she should be afraid of but isn't, and so many dirty secrets that are all intertwined with him and him alone. There is no one else for her, no one else that she has ever given herself to. No one else that she has ever spent her time wanting.

Today, she'd been forced to realize firsthand that the same is not true for him. As much as he absolutely hates it, and as much as he'd thought that he'd buried the hatchet years ago, there was a time in which Eugene had wanted someone else; or, at the very least, a time when he'd thought that he did. When he was too stupid to realize what true love and a healthy relationship is actually supposed to look like and too young to care. Too self-destructive to go out looking for it; to want better for himself.

Too simultaneously naïve and jaded to believed that he deserved better.

And maybe that someone never meant to him what Rapunzel means to him. Maybe that someone has never had every piece of him like Rapunzel does now. But she had been a big part of him, nonetheless. Like it or not, she had been a huge part of him for so many years, had sculpted Flynn Rider into the man that he was. For better or for worse, Stalyan's greedy, little hands had helped in shaping Flynn; just as much as Rapunzel's loving, redeeming hands have played a major part in dragging Eugene Fitzherbert back to the surface, allowing him to finally come up for air after being suffocated by Flynn for so long.

As much as he absolutely hates to so much as acknowledge it, there was a blurry time in his youth when Eugene's dirty secrets were tangled up in a woman that isn't Rapunzel. He wishes that it weren't true, wishes that Rapunzel could be the only woman that he's ever been with in a strings-attached sort of way. Unfortunately for him, such wishes aren't the reality of their situation. And reality (as it so often did before he'd met Rapunzel) has provided Eugene with a heavy dose of humbling karma today.

And maybe he deserves it because, after all, he had left Stalyan at the altar. Twice.

Not only that, but he'd put himself in a position which forced the woman that he truly loves to watch him almost marry someone else. He put himself in a position to lose that woman forever. And maybe there's a special place in hell for guys like him, because how could he seriously manage to mess up the one stroke of good luck that life has offered to him? And perhaps Stalyan had always been a world-class bitch, and perhaps she'd treated him like dirt for a fair portion of the time that they were together. But Flynn Rider was no saint, either, and perhaps Eugene Fitzherbert was getting a little too comfortable, anyway.

Perhaps he was in need of a good dose of humbling.

The universe sure seems to get a great kick out of humbling him, after all. The universe has always had a thing for never letting him get too comfortable, too happy. And for this reason, Eugene has always been terrified that the other shoe would drop. From the day that they'd moved into the castle, he's been terrified that he would wake up from the dream that is being with Rapunzel, only to realize that it was nothing more than that: a dream.

And while Eugene knows that Rapunzel has never and would never hold his past against him — while he knows that she's always given him a chance to explain, that she's always given him the benefit of the doubt, that she's always chosen to see the best in him — he can easily tell that she's overthinking this. He can tell that she's mulling it over, what happened today; that she's mulling it over hard.

Too hard.

He can't blame her for that. For Rapunzel, there is no precursor to this, there is no simple explanation to be given. It's clear to Eugene, unspoken as it is, that Rapunzel is trying endlessly to search for an explanation in her head for what happened today. He can see it written all over her face. She's grappling for some sort of explanation as to why he would possibly choose not to tell her about something like this. Why he would choose not to tell her that he'd almost married another woman in his youth. Why he wouldn't have tried harder to find another way to get himself out of almost marrying that other woman for a second time, trying to save his best friend aside.

And she knows that he was a sorry player before her, broken smolder be damned, knows that he wasn't a virgin when they'd met; not by a long shot. Rapunzel knows that he's fucked up more than once, knows that all of those mistakes that Eugene has made have forced him to become as experienced as a man can possibly be, in every way that a man can possibly be. She knows the person that he was before her, understands the implications which linger there in his lost identity. And Rapunzel, perfect as she is, has never once held it against him. Any of it.

Yet, despite Rapunzel's understanding and unconditional forgiveness for the person that he used to be – for the person that he was today – this is grounds for an identity crisis if Eugene has ever seen one (and he's experienced several, despite his young age). He doesn't want to spiral, doesn't want to fall into his old ways. Heaven only knows that he doesn't want to undo the changes that he's made since meeting Rapunzel; the changes that he's made for Rapunzel. But Stalyan is just so frustratingly good at messing with his head, so good at thrusting Eugene back into the role that he used to play, as though he'd never even left it at all.

And perhaps that's all Stalyan had really wanted: to mess with his head, to give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe she'd genuinely wanted him back, too, twisted as her 'love' for him is. But a healthy dose of revenge could never hurt where the Baron's daughter is concerned.

Despite understanding why Rapunzel might be upset with him for his lack of truthfulness, Eugene desperately doesn't want her to be. The notion of telling Rapunzel about his prior engagement had crossed his mind briefly, only a few times, but had vanished again as quickly as it had come. To be completely honest, Eugene hadn't thought that Stalyan was even worth telling Rapunzel about. The love that he'd had for Stalyan, if one could even reach far enough to call it that – now that Eugene knows what real love is supposed to look like, having taken off the rose-colored glasses of his youth long ago – pales in comparison to the deep respect, friendship, and unconditional love that he now shares with Rapunzel.

Sure, Stalyan had shaped Flynn Rider, but Rapunzel had quite literally saved him. She'd saved his life, in more ways than one. For this reason, Stalyan so rarely crossed his mind. How could she, when Rapunzel was right there in front of him, so different from his ex-fiancé in every way; in the best way? Stalyan can't say that she'd saved him from himself like Rapunzel did, can't take credit for anything other than conditioning his brain to not really care if he lived or died. The risk would always be worth the reward, as far as Stalyan was concerned.

Really, Stalyan had done quite the opposite of save him. She'd run him so far into the ground, had pushed Eugene to chase higher highs and kicked him down into the lowest of lows. After a few years of working for the Baron, he didn't give a shit about anything. Not even his own life.

Hence, the whole… stealing the crown thing.

And there Rapunzel was, always saving him. Always making Eugene feel like he was actually important, like he was worth saving. And it just didn't seem like it mattered, his past with Stalyan, now that Rapunzel was etched into his future so permanently. It didn't seem like it mattered, didn't feel like Stalyan was even worth telling about, because she hadn't mattered to him for a while by the time Eugene had found Rapunzel. She definitely didn't matter after.

Besides, it's not worth telling the sun about the places that its light cannot reach, it's not worth begging of true love not to rip you apart and change you when it's so inevitable that it will, and it wasn't worth telling Rapunzel about Stalyan. It wasn't worth it, because the Baron's daughter didn't matter to him anymore. She hadn't mattered to him for a long time, and the last thing that Eugene ever wants, is for Rapunzel to unnecessarily compare herself to the women of his past; to anyone. From the moment that Rapunzel stepped into the light and Eugene saw her face for the first time, nothing else mattered. He pretended that it did, pretended for a little while that the crown was somehow worth more than she was.

But he was wrong. He was so fucking wrong. From the moment that they'd had that heart-to-heart by the campfire on their first night together, he'd known that this girl was worth something. That she is worth holding onto forever, that she is the only thing that matters. He knows it, the sun knows it, and the entire freaking universe knows it. And why should Rapunzel waste her precious time comparing herself to his prior flames, meaningless to Eugene as they are, when he quite literally died for her? When she is the only woman who has ever seen him for – who has ever preferred – the man that he truly is.

In real time, the tall, swaying evergreens taunt Eugene as he walks along the forest trail behind her, leaning toward Rapunzel in the soft wind as she moves along the weathered path. It were as though all of nature were tangled up in her beauty, haunted by it. As if everything in the world yearns to know her, yearns to be close to her. It seems as though the whole world yearns to touch her. And Eugene can't blame the world, because he wants to touch her, too.

The entire universe is utterly enchanted by her, isn't it? Just as much as he is, somehow. The actual sun itself has made its home inside of her, the flowers ache to be twisted into her golden hair, and the stars burn themselves out trying to shine as brightly as her. The grass bends at her feet, the forest stills in her midst, and the moon pales in comparison to the light in which she radiates.

And he's lucky enough to be the one to have her. There are so many people in the world that would want her, that would die to have her, and he is the one that gets to love her. And yet, Eugene had been so close to fucking it all up tonight, so close to destroying this massive stroke of luck that he'd stumbled upon when he'd stumbled upon her tower that fateful day. He'd been so close to never being able to touch her soft skin, so close to never tasting her, and so close to never hearing her sweet voice again. He'd been so close to losing everything, that it makes Eugene feel physically ill just thinking about it.

He'd been so fucking close to losing her forever. And what the fuck would he do then? Likely, without her, he would go back to subconsciously trying to kill himself.

Flynn Rider hadn't gotten scared. He didn't care enough to get scared. He didn't care about losing things; not sorry excuses for trustworthy friends, not his true identity, and not even his own life. He'd all but chased death, had barely even avoided it. Had barely even tried. For fuck's sake, he was entirely unphased by the very possible notion of a noose being wrapped around his neck. He was entirely unphased by something so fucked up, until he met Rapunzel. Until she gave him something worth living for, something worth fighting for. She pulled him out of the ring before life threw him the sucker punch of all sucker punches; before he quite literally killed himself.

And yet, here he is, absolutely terrified out of his mind of losing her. Because he is Flynn Rider no longer. Because Eugene Fitzherbert cares enough to get scared. So scared, in fact, that Eugene isn't entirely sure if he'll ever be completely used to the life-altering effect that she has on him, if he'll ever get used to the way that he's wrapped so tightly around her finger. It still scares him sometimes, how much he needs her, because Eugene had spent most of his life trying to convince himself that he hadn't needed anyone.

And now, here he is, following Rapunzel through the forest like a lost puppy, praying that she'll find a way to forgive him for what happened today, for almost being unfaithful to her; even if that unfaithfulness was completely by way of blackmail. He prays to the moon and stars above that she'll find a way to forgive him for breaking her heart, for turning his back on her, even though he'd had an objectively good reason for doing so. Here he is, forcing an always-unphased Flynn Rider to roll over in his metaphorical grave, because Eugene is fucking terrified. Here he is, needing her, just like he always does.

Needing all of her, wanting all of her. Aching on the inside for a satisfaction which only Rapunzel has ever been capable of bringing him to.

And despite all that needing and all that wanting, Eugene is more so questioning if he even deserves her now. If he deserves to need her, if he deserves to want her. If he deserves to want her in the particular way that he does right now. He'd promised to himself that he would be good, had promised that he wouldn't get himself into any more trouble from the moment that he'd decided to stay in the palace with Rapunzel. He'd cut the cord, had allowed Flynn Rider to die and die hard that day on the tower floor. And yet, here he is, allowing himself to be hunted down by the ghosts of his past. Allowing that past to hurt her.

And that's the last thing that Eugene has ever wanted: for Rapunzel to get hurt because of him. She's been hurt enough.

He hates it. Eugene hates the way that Stalyan has so grossly – so easily – wormed her way back into his head, reminded him of the person that he used to be; the selfish, broken person that he was before meeting Rapunzel. Before she'd come into his life and wrecked his entire persona in one, measly day, Eugene had tried so hard to be guarded, had tried desperately to stack his walls so tall that no one would ever break through them. He'd done this so that no one would have to see the sad orphan inside of him and pity that person. He didn't want pity, and he didn't want to be tied down, and he didn't want to buy into the utter bullshit that was the prospect of true love. He didn't want love, didn't need it. Or so he told himself.

He was a damn good liar. Funny enough, Eugene told his best lies in his own head.

But then, Rapunzel came along with her big, bright eyes that were full of this hope for him, and she flipped through him like he was an open book, her nimble, knowing fingers learning every part of him – memorizing him – making Eugene realize that true love is entirely worth believing in. She'd made him realize that true love is definitely not bullshit and that life is definitely not about things. It's not about money, crowns, and private islands. Love is not about constantly fighting for the upper hand, doesn't have a thing to do with selfishness, and life is not about how many people you can do wrong without getting yourself killed in a poorly-lit alley.

No. Those things, those worthless things – endlessly chasing that high, unsuccessfully filling that void – they all pale pathetically in comparison to her. Life, Rapunzel has shown him, is entirely about love. It's only about love; it's the only thing that matters. It's the only thing worth living for.

The only thing worth dying for.

And he would still die for her! God help him, Eugene would die for her, over and over again if he had to. How does he show her that? How does one prove that to the love of their life, mere hours after almost marrying another woman?

And maybe it's true that he needs Rapunzel too much, more than she needs him, and maybe Stalyan's selfish words hold some sort of sick, twisted truth to them after all. Maybe he asks too much of this precious girl whose freedom was only just handed to her! Who is he to ask of her to give that up? Who is he to take Rapunzel's freedom and wreck her innocence, and who is he to ask her to settle down when she has so much life inside of her left to live, bursting at the seams and all but threatening to rip her apart?

As Stalyan's words ring loudly in Eugene's ears now, impossible to drown out completely in the peaceful hush of the forest around him as it prepares to fall asleep, Eugene hates himself a little more for even entertaining the altogether horrifying thought; for even allowing himself to consider the possibility that he has caged her as Gothel had, just in a different way.

After all, their love is golden. It's golden, and beautiful, and more than he could ever deserve. Much more than anything Stalyan had ever given to him. But a gold cage is still just a cage, and Eugene is terrified that Stalyan is right. He is terrified that he has unknowingly placed Rapunzel there, terrified that his love is unmeaningly no more than a newfound cage to her. Just another prison, just another tower.

'Let me ask you. Do you really think it's fair to ask a girl who spent the first eighteen years of her life in prison to give up her freedom for a lifelong relationship with… someone like you?'

Maybe Stalyan is right, and maybe he never did deserve the beautiful princess that the entire universe would bend to be close to, and maybe people like him don't belong with people like Rapunzel. Deep down, maybe he is still very broken, and still has this horrible past which looms over him like an unsatisfied ghost, haunting Eugene for all that he is worth. And she – she is perfect, and she sees the world through unjaded eyes, and he does not deserve her.

"Here looks like a good place to camp for the night, don't you think?"

He doesn't deserve her, and maybe he never did, and –

"Eugene?"

Eugene clears his throat then, surveying the area as he registers Rapunzel's voice breaking the silence of the hushed, moonlit forest. They've wandered themselves into a meadow of luscious, swaying grass, a small creek providing a gentle trickling sound nearby, harmonizing with the crickets as the sun dips below the horizon.

"Yeah. Yeah, this looks fine."

Trying to ignore the questioning look that she throws to him, Eugene makes quick work of finding an armful of firewood and starting a small fire for them; far enough from the creek that the ground isn't wet, but close enough that the soothing sound of the running water isn't too far off. It takes Eugene a minute to get the fire going, and he briefly wonders what the hell else could possibly go wrong tonight. He blows a fallen piece of bang away from his face in frustration, prompting Rapunzel to crouch down next to him when he finally gets the fire lit, placing a gentle hand to Eugene's shoulder as she peers at him closely.

"Are you okay, Eugene?"

"I'm fine. Never been better." Eugene responds easily, though his voice doesn't sound quite right, and he can tell by the fire-lit look in Rapunzel's eye that she can see right through him. She always can. "Why do you ask?"

"You just seem… I mean, you just – you seem kind of on edge."

Eugene doesn't say anything at first, just stares into the crackling flames as the small fire begins to grow, because no shit he's on edge. Then, before Eugene can fully register what's happening, he's dipping his head and covering his eyes with a hand, because he's been thinking too hard and the tears are starting to form. And fuck, he doesn't want to do this! He can't do this, he can't fall apart now. He's supposed to be the strong one, he's supposed to be strong for her!

But her arms are already around him, consoling him, easing Eugene from his crouched position so that he can sit more comfortably in the soft grass. Quickly composing himself, Eugene takes his hand away from his face, hugging Rapunzel back as she straddles him, probably much tighter than he should.

"Blondie?" The endearing nickname leaves Eugene's mouth in a much shakier fashion than he'd hoped for, his chin resting on the back of her warm neck as he holds her close, terrified that she might disappear if he lets go too soon.

"Yeah?"

"Are we gonna be alright?"

There's a long pause, a tortuous moment of silence before Rapunzel's voice leaves her lips in a whisper that's even shakier than his own.

"You almost married someone else today." She murmurs into his neck, sounding almost stunned, as though Rapunzel were truly registering the horrid thought for the very first time; as though she's unable to look at him as she states the reality of their situation. "I almost lost you."

"I know, I know!" Eugene rushes to pull Rapunzel back, wanting to look at her and wanting to caress her face, eyebrows pushed together in undeniable guilt, fingers desperate to console her as new tears threaten to form. "I'm so sorry, Sunshine. I'm so incredibly sorry."

"But that's the thing!" Rapunzel cries then, releasing from her chest what seems to be a frustrated scoff that's been mixed with a short, bitter laugh. "It's not even your fault. I don't blame you for what happened, I don't – I mean, God! What are we doing here, Eugene? What am I doing here? Why did I come here, why did I come on this journey? If I hadn't pushed us to leave Corona, this never would've happened! Why did I think this would be a good idea?"

Rapunzel's face falls into her hands then, and Eugene hates to see her like this, clearly feeling so lost. She's doubting this, doubting herself. Because of his past, because of his mistakes, she's now doubting herself.

"You're finding your destiny! That's what we're doing, that's why you're here!" Eugene places each of his hands to the side of Rapunzel's face, wanting so badly to love away any doubt or sadness that she's feeling now. "And we're going to find it. Together. I promise you that. I'm in, I'm all in! I'm not going anywhere, not ever!"

Rapunzel shakes her head pitifully as she tries hard to will her own tears away, though they continue to fall haphazardly upon her cheeks as she fists his jacket in her hands, collapsing against Eugene's chest as she cries, unable to say anything in response quite yet.

He hates it. Eugene hates it when she cries, and he hates it even more when it's his fault that she is. It's so easy to love her, making it even easier to hate anything that's hurt her. And today, he's the one that's hurt her, and it's making it really easy for Eugene to hate himself.

"What can I do to make it up to you? Please, Blondie, I'll do anything. I'll do anything, just tell me what you want."

I'll worship the ground you walk on for the rest of my life, I'll marry you tomorrow if I have to. But do I even deserve that, do I even deserve to have you for the rest of my life? Is it even fair of me to ask you to be tied down forever, when you've only just gained your freedom after eighteen years of hidden hell?

Eugene pulls Rapunzel gently back so that he can look at her, afraid of what she might say. Deep, brown eyes bore into watery, green ones, searching desperately for an answer; an answer which she readily whispers against his lips, as if she'd been holding the words close to her heart all night long, waiting for the right time to breathe them out. It were as though this was the reason that she'd been so quiet before, mulling over how they could possibly fix this. Eugene wipes at her tears with calloused thumbs, brushing the liquid sadness from Rapunzel's soft cheeks when she answers him, her words so tender and gentle, and everything that he'd wanted to hear.

"Touch me. Just… I want you to touch me. Please."

Tell me with your lips, with your hands... tell me that I'm still the only one, tell me there's no one else. Tell me that I'm still your dream, that you still want this forever. That you still want me as much as I want you.

Rapunzel doesn't want to sound desperate, her voice all uncontrollably shaky and thick with tears, all unsure of herself; because she's unsure if he feels the same way. If he wants the same things. She really doesn't want to sound needy and whiny, but she is, in a way. She's so goddamn desperate, this unbearable wanting having buried itself deep and grown inside of her all night long, leading them to this very moment.

Tonight, she wants to beg and beg, pleading with him to pound her into the soft grass, so hard that it'll surely hurt to walk the next morning; hard enough to make Rapunzel forget about the events of this horrible, draining day. Hard enough to forget about the way that he'd been standing there at an altar, looking into the eyes of another woman, almost marrying that other woman.

She doesn't want gentle and she doesn't want the soft lovemaking that she's become so accustomed to since their first time together. After that first time in the cabin, it's always been so breathtakingly soft and sweet, the way that they make love, and Rapunzel hadn't imagined wanting it any other way. She hadn't imagined almost wanting it to hurt, if only to forget the hurt of this day. She hadn't imagined wanting him in this particularly surprising way.

Until today. Until Stalyan happened.

And now, Rapunzel wants to be roughly fucked by him, more so than she's ever wanted anything else. More than she'd wanted to see the lanterns, more than she'd wanted to explore the world beyond Corona's walls; more than she's ever wanted anything. She wants him to claim her and only her, she wants him to tell her – no, show her – that she is the only one; the only one in his heart, the only one on his mind. The only one that he's in love with. In lust with. Deep, head-spinning, aching lust. She wants his fingers around her wrists, wants him to leave bruises there; bruises that she can press on later and remember. She wants to feel him and she wants the rest of the universe above to simply melt away.

She asks him to touch her and it's unexpected and beautiful, because they're really and truly going to be on the same page again. And maybe things aren't completely normal between them quite yet, but they can be. They will be, they'll get there. They can get back to the place that they were in before this entire mess happened. Things were so good before, and this journey is a new chapter of their lives together, and things will be good again. They'll move on from this. They'll make love, and he'll prove to her that she is the only woman for him. She'll beg, moan, and scream for him, and everything will go back to the way it was.

Yes. God, yes.

The pleading words fall from her tongue and Eugene wants nothing more than to suck them from her mouth, to taste them on his own tongue, because she feels the same way that he does. He'd been so worried that Rapunzel wouldn't want this, so worried that she wouldn't be ready for the same kind of reassurance that he's been yearning for all night long. Eugene had worried that sex – as much as it was on his mind – would be the last thing on her mind, and he would've understood completely if it was. He wouldn't have pushed it, wouldn't have even brought it up if Rapunzel seemed even remotely abhorrent to the idea.

But she's just debunked his deepest fears, soothed his worries with such simple, yet arousing words, coupled with her soft voice that Eugene loves so much. She still wants him. Thank the heavens, she still wants him! She wants to be touched by him, and he wants to touch her, and if he has to spent the entire night reassuring her of his love with his hands and with his mouth, that's exactly what he's going to do.

Then, to Eugene's surprise, she backpedals. Rapunzel, confident and comfortable with him as she usually is, backpedals. Rushing in her sudden sheepishness to hide her desperation, she backpedals, because maybe they aren't completely on the same page quite yet, and Rapunzel realizes that she doesn't know if he feels the same way that she does. She'd selfishly blurted the sensual request before even bothering to ask if Eugene wanted the same thing; before bothering to ask if he was at the same level of toxic need that she's at right now.

Why is she thinking so hard about this? This – the wanting, the desire – is never hard between them.

"I mean… if you want to. Only if you want to."

Despite the sudden urge to hide her obvious desperation for all things physical reassurance, the look in Rapunzel's eyes is completely hopeful, begging of him to feel the same, to want the same thing; to want to touch her as badly as she wants him to.

"You have no idea how much I want to." Slowly, not wanting to spook her, Eugene cups her cheek and leans forward to trace his lips from the bottom of Rapunzel's jaw to her ear, soothing her soft skin with the warmth of his tongue. "How much I want you."

"I want you, too…" Rapunzel breathes out with the relief of knowing that he does feel the same way, easing them into a deep kiss as she fingers the metal clasp of his jacket, flicking it open before breaking the kiss and trailing her own open-mouthed kisses down his neck now. "I want you so much."

And it feels good, she feels good. Her warm lips, her shaking hands, her green gaze upon him. Eugene isn't entirely sure that she's ever felt like this, that she's ever turned him on quite so fast. Maybe it's the gorgeous, moonlit setting that they've found themselves in, maybe it's the soft urgency of her voice, and maybe it's the horrible day that they've had. Maybe it's a little bit of everything. He's not really sure.

But the moon is now huge and shining so brightly in the sky above, an infinite sea of stars twinkles overhead, the fireflies have come out from their hiding places for their nightly dance across the meadow, and he just knows that this is going to be good. So good.

Cradling the back of her head, Eugene uses the other hand to guide Rapunzel's mouth away from his neck and back to his own lips, coaxing at her tongue; and with it, he coaxes a small, strangled moan from Rapunzel's throat as he gently lies her back and into the thick grass, settling over her as she desperately pushes up on her dress.

Sighing contentedly with her dress pooled at her middle, Rapunzel brings each of her bare legs up and around him, draping them at Eugene's hips, entirely relieved to finally be so much closer to him. She's ached to be this close to him all day, racked with the anxiety that she might never be able to be this close to him again; that she might never be able to feel this with him.

Legs now bare to him, Eugene takes the opportunity to trace lazy hearts on the inside of her thigh with one hand, only breaking the kiss when he can feel her thighs starting to shake. The anticipation of the moment, having built unbearably fast, is so palpable that his simple touch makes Rapunzel moan quietly, spreading her legs wider on impulse as his fingers continue their journey upward.

"Tell me, Princess…" Eugene murmurs, cocking his head down at her, as though he were actually curious about her answer. "How exactly do you want to be touched?"

I want this to be different than all the other times… I want this to be better for her, somehow. I want to make it up to her. I want to make everything up to her.

"I… I don't want you to hold back tonight. Don't be gentle, please don't…" Rapunzel pants quietly, shaky words falling from her mouth with an unashamed honesty as he hooks his fingers in her underwear, pulling them down her legs far too slowly for her to maintain a sane state of mind. "I want all of you."

"I'm yours." Eugene responds without pause or hesitation, because it's just so easy to belong to her. So easy to want her back. "All of me… I'm yours."

"Show me." She's not too proud to beg, fumbling with the buttons on Eugene's pants as he rises onto his knees, pushing his hair back with one hand, watching amusedly as she struggles to frantically undress him. "Show me that you're mine."

With each leg on either side of her, Rapunzel works on his pants as Eugene shrugs out of his jacket, his own fingers working swiftly to unbutton the white shirt beneath the jacket, shrugging out of that, as well. He shimmies out of his pants when Rapunzel finally finishes with unbuttoning them, appreciating her help as she hastily pushes them down with his underwear, kicking them from his ankles and quickly settling over her once more. Forearms on either side of Rapunzel's face, Eugene shelters her in an entirely loving kind of a way, bringing his fingers up to softly caress her cheeks with the backs of his hands.

"I adore you." Eugene confesses quietly with a gentle smile, leaning down to lick at the soft column of her neck, nearly getting drunk on her lavender scent as he slowly strips Rapunzel of her dress. "You know that, don't you, Sunshine? How much I adore you?"

And he does. Fuck, does he adore her. So much.

She whimpers as one of his hands gently takes the side of her neck to gain better access there, his free hand fondling her breast once she's free from her own clothing, pinching the nipple so delicately that she wants to beg him to stop toying with her, to stop this madness and show her just how much he really adores her. She's already so wet for him, inner thighs slick with her need, and he needs to stop toying with her before she absolutely loses her mind and all sense of control.

"I know." Rapunzel breathes shakily, reaching forward to run her fingers through his hair lovingly, wanting Eugene to understand that she adores him just as much. Maybe more. "I know you do."

No. Never more, never most. There is no competition to be had between them. Their love is so beautifully mutual in its overwhelming amount.

And she does know. She knows how much he truly loves her. But after the day that they've had, Rapunzel desperately needs to hear the reassuring words falling from Eugene's mouth audibly, and she's so glad that he's willing to offer them to her. She needs more than dark looks that wordlessly reassure her of their love. She needs his hands, and his face, and his tongue, and his words, and his everything. He is her everything.

Eugene sits back in the grass to stare at her then, appearing as though he were completely wonderstruck, crystalline tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, reflected back to her by way of the moonlight. Tears well there against his brown irises, and Eugene doesn't even attempt to force them away this time, because she's here. She's here, and she still loves him after everything that he's put her through today, and she's so achingly beautiful. Sitting here in moonlight, staring back at him with such love and understanding in her eyes – such desire for him – Rapunzel is so unbelievably gorgeous, and maybe he doesn't deserve her.

Maybe he doesn't deserve her, but he wants her. He wants her more than he's ever wanted her before.

A wayward tear escapes as a direct result of Eugene's ill attempt to hold his emotions back, making its temporary home upon his cheek. The tear stays there only a moment before Rapunzel quickly reaches forward to wipe it away, the heavy, mutual emotion between them welling in her own eyes now. Feeling altogether touch-starved, Eugene nuzzles into Rapunzel's palm and kisses it softly, wrapping his fingers gently around her wrist in order to keep her fingers there against his cheek, not realizing until now just how much he'd needed to be comforted — comforted by her.

Eugene closes his eyes heavily with a shuddering breath, which only causes more tears to fall, almost unable to look at her; almost unable to bear the sight of her looking at him like he could never do anything that would ever make her want to leave, even if this unconditional love that Rapunzel is offering to him feels nearly unjustifiable. Even when he doesn't believe that he deserves it.

"Oh, Eugene… don't cry!" Rapunzel murmurs then, fragile heart completely breaking at the sight of his tears. This liquid emotion of his only confirms how guilty Eugene truly feels, and she doesn't want him to feel guilty. "Please don't cry. It's okay, everything is okay. We're alright, I promise."

"I'm just so lucky." Eugene breathes against her palm, again catching Rapunzel's wrist between his fingers and dragging his lips up the inside of her arm, leaving gentle bites on her wrist and inner forearm, quickly soothing the area with his tongue. "How did I get so damn lucky?"

"Some stroke of luck that we found each other, huh?" Rapunzel muses softly, eyes completely glazed over with lust now, voice filled with an entirely unhidden longing for him.

She loves him so much. He can see it in her eyes. She just loves him so much, and Eugene really doesn't know what he did to deserve any of it, to deserve her. To deserve her forgiveness.

He sits fully back in the grass then, pulling Rapunzel along with him as he stretches his legs out in front of him, watching as she kneels between them. Looking him in the eye, Rapunzel takes him into her hand, wanting to watch his face as his eyes fall shut and his head lolls to the side. She quickly places two of the fingers from her free hand under his chin, catching Eugene's attention once more, tilting his gaze back toward her with a knowing smile playing upon her lips.

"No, look at me. Watch me."

Eugene grins at that, grins at her confidence with him and her need to be seen by him. Rapunzel moves her hand agonizingly slow around him, pumping up and down, finding it hard not to grind her hips at the sound of his low moans and shallow panting; though she would find nothing but the soft grass beneath her to grind down onto. Watching him as he watches her, it turns her on. It makes her feel hot all over; so much so that she almost can't take the anticipation of it all.

Then, only making matters worse for herself, Rapunzel dips her head without pause and her warm mouth is around him, and he moans. The undisguised display of desire all in itself makes her whimper, a hum around his dick that forces a groan from Eugene's chest. Her eyes never dare to leave his, and he tangles his fingers up in the hair at the back of her head, guiding Rapunzel along as she hums around him once more.

Rapunzel reaches down and between her own thighs, leaning slightly forward to gently cover two fingers with her wetness, pushing in shallowly, knowing what it'll do to him to watch her as she touches herself. She continues to massage his aching dick with her tongue, heated gaze never leaving his. Rapunzel coats her fingers, offering them to him as she retracts her head from between Eugene's legs, returning to eye level with him. He takes them eagerly, sucking her fingers clean, wanting so badly to taste her; though partially reluctant to give up the pleasure that she'd been giving to him just now.

But the need to be selfish soon passes, as it usually does, because Eugene hums around her desire-stained fingers and he's gone. He's so fucking gone. The lust and the love dancing together – dancing with the fireflies as they scatter their light upon the darkened meadow – have fogged his brain all at once; so much so that Eugene can barely even think straight anymore.

And they haven't even fucked yet! He hasn't even been inside of her, and he's already a sorry, sorry goner. The first five minutes of foreplay have never made him this desperate for anyone else before. But this is Rapunzel. He's a fucking goner for her – no, a fool. An absolute fool for her, that's what he is.

That's what he wants to be for the rest of his sorry, foolish life.

The need to taste her wins out in its battle with Eugene's need to be selfish, so he lifts her by the hips instead, gently guiding Rapunzel onto her knees in the plush grass so that he can slip easily beneath her. Arching up into the warm, night air, the princess moans pathetically as she settles down against him, reveling at the feeling of his nose nuzzling her, his hot breath between her legs. Eugene eases Rapunzel into a steady rhythm as she rides the tip of his tongue, grinding her hips against his giving lips, gratefully receiving all that he has to offer to her.

She'd been wound so tightly by everything that's happened today, making it incredibly easy to get her off, Rapunzel's body having ached for him from the very moment that Eugene had walked away from her in the name of saving his dearest childhood friend. It doesn't help – or maybe it does help – to think about Eugene's usual method of getting her off: whispering dirty words to her, begging her to cum for him. Because his mouth is too preoccupied now, Rapunzel must mentally supply herself with these words, though she's heard them enough to imagine such phrases in his voice; which is just enough to push her over the edge entirely.

He always pushes her over the edge, without fail. It's never been hard between them, this intimacy.

But something about almost losing him today forces this inevitable fall from the edge to come all the faster and all the harder.

One hand in his hair, the other fisting the grass, she cums into his mouth, throwing her head back in overstimulation as she whimpers his name to the glowing moon, to the stars hanging above them; Rapunzel almost feels bad for the stars, because they will never understand what she's feeling now.

"Oh, yes. Oh, Eugene... Eugene –"

Knees planted firmly to the ground, but feeling entirely like jelly now, Rapunzel falls forward clumsily as she cums. Legs shaking from the orgasm and barely able to hold herself upright, Eugene catches her fall as Rapunzel's palms crash into the plush grass above his head. In one, swift motion, Eugene has her by the hips, returning Rapunzel to her back before she can hurt herself, smiling down at her cheekily.

"You're so easy." He teases, secretly loving that about her. "Have you been thinking about this all day, Sunshine?"

I know I've been thinking about it for a while…

"Only for you." Rapunzel breathes, not a hint of humor written across her face, eyes transfixed on his mouth from below as she traces his bottom lip with her thumb. "I'm only easy for you."

With a silly grin plastered across his face, Eugene kisses her greedily in response to her honest words, and Rapunzel registers then that she can taste herself on his lips. She's not entirely sure that it should turn her on — still learning when it comes to the whole sex thing, an entirely eager student — but it does. It turns her on to know that Eugene has every piece of her in his palm to do whatever he wants with, turns her on to know that he is the only one who knows her body like the back of his own hand. To know that he's the only one who ever will.

The kisses are borderline sloppy and completely desperate now, the both of them needing everything that the other has to offer, so ready to succumb to the emotionally charged give and take that they've become intertwined in so many times since that first night at the cabin.

"Why do you always taste like sunshine, Sunshine?"

Rapunzel laughs at that, breathless as she is between broken kisses. The sound of her laughter in the otherwise calm meadow is breathtaking all in itself, making Eugene want her all the more. He wants every part of her; her unmistakable joy, the ugly underbelly of her childhood, the things that terrify her, and the things that make her feel most alive. He wants to be the thing that makes her feel the most alive. Eugene wants every part of her mind, her body, her heart. He wants all of her, and thankfully for Eugene, Rapunzel is about to voice her mutual desire for him.

"I want to do it here. Under the stars." She quietly confesses, wrapping her legs around Eugene's waist, grinding her hips against him agonizingly soft as she runs the pad of her thumb along his bottom lip, his jaw, his eyebrows; completely in awe of and mesmerized by him. "I want you. Right now."

I want you to fuck my brains out, I want you to make me forget about how I almost lost you to her today. I want to moan myself hoarse, I want to scream your name to the sky, and I want to name the constellations as you make love to me.

"What else do you want?"

An entirely loaded question, but he has to know. He needs the reassurance no less than she does tonight.

"I want things to go back to the way they were. Before... before today happened." Rapunzel eyes him tentatively, almost curious. Almost as though she were afraid of his answer. "What do you want?"

"I want to love you forever." Eugene pulls her closer to him then, warm lips kissing their way down Rapunzel's neck as he reaches a slow hand between them, pushing a gentle finger between her legs and being met with such dripping desire that he's almost surprised by it. "I want to bury myself so deep inside of you and never, ever leave. I want you to moan, and scream, and beg for me."

Rapunzel whimpers at his bluntly honest words, fingers fisting in the grass below them as Eugene's finger slowly pumps inside of her, soaking itself in her completely evident desire: that desire of hers which is nearly dripping down the inside of her thighs now. Rapunzel's own fingers are quick to dip between them, wrapping themselves around Eugene's working wrist; not so much to push him harder or faster, nor to necessarily help him along, but simply wanting to feel him moving inside of her.

They'd had time to get good at this and plenty of it. Plenty of time to memorize one another completely, to fully understand what it takes to drive the other just about insane. Before Stalyan happened – before they'd left Corona – they'd had some time to get good at all of this, to bring each other mind-blowing pleasure without having to think too hard about it. The wanting, the aching, the lovemaking; it all came so naturally to them. Even before that, even when they'd done everything but the actual lovemaking itself, they had unsteadily walked the line between arbitrary right and wrong. Doing so had allowed them to learn one another in a way that no one else would ever know them.

But things are different now. Tonight, there has been an obvious shift in the wanting, in the aching. Something feels different. Their desire for one another, it's somehow deeper now and more important somehow, soaked in desperation and the need for reassurance.

A lot of reassurance.

Until now, Rapunzel had followed his experienced direction and Eugene had followed her lead, and they'd drug one another headfirst into an endless, daily desire that they simply cannot escape from; though this desire had to be quieted and controlled in a way that was entirely difficult to do. When they'd returned from the cabin that weekend, they'd barely been able to keep their hands off of one another, because they couldn't keep their hands off of one another for the entire vacation. They'd made love so many times in those three days that they'd lost count, and they hadn't been able to get loud again since then. In the castle, it was all hands over mouths, and biting the inside of their cheeks, and biting down on one another's shoulder in order to buffer the need to scream and cry out in pleasure.

Until now. Until tonight.

At the cabin, they hadn't had to do those things. They were spoiled there, on that perfect weekend alone, and their lovemaking in the castle had only reminded them of how hard it really is to make love in a castle; a castle with prying eyes, and patrolling guards, and overprotective fathers. They hadn't had to buffer that insatiable desire of theirs at the cabin, because no one had been there to overhear them.

That was months ago now. But tonight… tonight would be different. Tonight, they could finally be as loud as they wanted.

And sweating through her sheets in the castle had been wonderful. Slowly fucking one another in the middle of the night had been beautiful, really; all hushed moans and praying to the heavens that none of the guards passing by her door on their nightly rounds would hear their impassioned lovemaking. There was an art to holding back, a beauty to it that only Flynn Rider himself would be able to fully appreciate. There was something that made the sex hotter, somehow, having to hide it. Having to sneak around. For the most part, Eugene kind of liked it, actually. He liked the frequent, midnight game of cat and mouse that they'd had going back in Corona. Eugene – well, maybe it was the small part of Flynn Rider inside of him that wasn't quite dead – liked knowing that she could get into trouble for being alone with him at night if they were caught, let alone for learning how to ride his dick.

Yeah, she'd definitely get into big trouble for that.

Because God forbid that would happen when they're not married quite yet. After all, it's not like they're pathetically in love or anything. Such things – societal norms, expectations where Princess Rapunzel's virtue is concerned – are petty, temporary nuances, as far as Eugene is concerned. He's going to marry Rapunzel, anyway. Everyone knows that.

A little rebellion – a little lovemaking – would do her good until then. Rebellion is good. Healthy, even.

Frankly, they'd opened an un-closeable pair of floodgates that first night at the cabin. Since then, they'd been going at it like they might die if they had to go more than a night or two without one another. The only downfall to their newfound, nightly activity is that Eugene far too frequently had to cover her mouth with his hand while she came, so as they wouldn't give themselves away.

But that was fine, because they wanted one another, and having to be quiet in the castle was far better than never making love at all. Then, they went on the road, and their lovemaking had taken a heavy decline, much to Eugene's distaste.

But this... something about tonight and being here, surrounded by the tall grass, the fireflies dancing around them, the grasshoppers chirping, the fire crackling quietly beside them... it feels like her. It feels to Eugene like he's been enveloped in everything about her, unable to escape if he wanted to; though he doesn't want to. It's better than the castle and even better than the cabin, somehow. Rapunzel loves everything about nature, loves to be in it, loves to become one with it – likely because she'd been selfishly hidden away from it for eighteen years – and this just feels like her. Tonight, this setting, feels like something Rapunzel would have fantasized about, but was perhaps too shy to actually ask him for.

But now, here they are, preparing to make love under the starry sky, the glow of a thousand fireflies buzzing around them. And it's entirely different than being in the castle but in no way worse, because they don't have to sneak around and they don't have to worry about being quiet, when being quiet is sometimes the hardest part of the entire thing. Well, aside from having to sneak back to their own beds before the sun comes up.

"Blondie…" Eugene breathes her name like it's a secret – no, a promise – that he's dying to keep, like he would gladly allow the endearing nickname to hang on the tip of his tongue for the rest of his life. "I have never, ever wanted another person as much as I want you right now."

"Never?" Rapunzel questions softly, so happy to hear him say that, pushing herself up onto her elbows as Eugene bends his head between her legs, wanting to watch him as he licks his way up the inside of her thigh, his hot breath causing her to shiver as he places gentle kisses there between words. "Truly?"

"Not. Even. Once."

And it's true, without a twinge of dishonesty laced between Eugene's words as he breathes them to the inside of Rapunzel's shaky thighs. Stalyan had never destroyed him in this way – destroyed him in this way that is absolutely perfect – had never changed him for the better, had never had all of him like this. His life had never bent to Stalyan's raging wind in the way that she'd wanted it to, his hands never ached to hold her, and he never missed her after being apart from her for five-plus years in the way that he misses Rapunzel when he has to be away from her for five lousy minutes. Rapunzel's wind is so calm, so soothing. And yet, here Eugene is, bending his life to her. Not because she forces him to, but because he wants to.

Because he wants her.

Eugene pauses at the apex of her thighs, licking there, but not settling his mouth where he knows that she truly wants him. Rapunzel lets out a small huff at this, and he smiles against her soft, lavender-scented skin, adoring when she gets frustrated in this way; when she's frustrated because of him.

"Eugene. Eugene… don't tease me. Please, not tonight." Rapunzel pants, and he knows that she means what she says. He can't bear to wait any longer either, it seems. "I just can't bear it."

There she goes again, whimpering for him and sounding so desperate that she feels like a pathetic child, as though she's whining for a single piece of candy from the candy dish. But she doesn't care. Rapunzel has passed the point of knowing what it means to feel embarrassed, too far gone to truly mind if she sounds desperate. She is desperate; so very desperate to feel him inside of her.

So desperate to somehow undo the damage of this nightmarish day.

And they can talk it out later, they can undo the damage of this day through honest conversation and heart-to-hearts after they reconcile in this way, if that's what he wants. That's all good and well, honest words and heart-to-hearts. Talking is good, talking has always come so easily to them; especially when they're near a makeshift campfire in the forest.

Talking is good, so good. Later. They'll have plenty of time for that later. But right now, he needs to fuck the insecurity, the worry, and the stress out of her. He needs to show her that she is still the only one that he could ever want.

"But I really wanted to hear you beg, Blondie." Eugene pouts playfully, though he truly means it as he takes Rapunzel's thigh into his hand, pushing her leg up and out, toes left dangling above his head as his strong hands support her; one hand wrapped around her thigh, the other wrapped around the opposite, low-hanging calf. "I like it when you beg."

He does want to hear her beg for him, to desperately plead with him to take her, as though she might just wither away if he doesn't make love to her tonight. She's done it before, so many times in the castle that he's lost count. And yet, somehow, the sentiment of Rapunzel wanting him so badly never gets old. And as Eugene bends his head, kissing again at the inside of her thigh, it appears that he's on the right path to getting what he wants tonight; to hearing what he needs to hear as it falls desperately from her mouth.

Tell me that you still want me... promise me that I'm still enough, that I'm not selfish for wanting you like this! That I'm not keeping you from your freedom, that you still want this! That you still want me, even though my past is fucked up and still haunting me. Even though I could never truly deserve you.

"I'll beg! I'll beg. Whatever you want, just – please… please, please, please, Eugene."

So eager. So ready. So easy.

This is going to be so easy.

He could ask her to jump right now, and Rapunzel would easily respond with, 'How high?' She's desperate and she's empty; she was empty in her heart during those few days without him, and she's empty between her legs now, needing him there. Needing him to fuck away everything that went wrong in the last few days. She's so aware of how empty she is without him.

"What exactly is it that you want, Blondie?"

As if he doesn't already know.

Rapunzel reaches between them then, taking his aching dick into her soft hand, gently guiding Eugene to settle between her shaking legs, and it feels so good when she's touching him like that. So good, in fact, that Eugene almost forgets that he's trying to tease her right now, wanting to beg for her. Almost.

"You! I want you, I want you so bad. I want you to be so deep inside of me, right now. Please."

"Deep inside of you, huh?" Eugene grins as he nuzzles her nose, because she looks absolutely tortured, and it's absolutely beautiful. "You're gonna have to do a little better than that, Princess."

"Will you just –" Rapunzel huffs under her breath, visibly frustrated as she squeezes her fingers around him just a little harder, trying to urge him on – as if he actually needs any convincing – and it's adorable. It's so adorable, how desperate she is for this special reunion. "You're so…"

Eugene doesn't want to wait, either; not really. But seeing her so flustered – seeing her flustered like this, for this reason – is one of his very favorite things, so Eugene is willing to wait another minute if it means that he can make her blush profusely. As profusely as she's blushing now.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it."

"God, Eugene, fuck me!" Rapunzel cries into the night, grabbing at his hair, almost as if to punish him for torturing her like this. "Now, please. Or I'm going to scream!"

There it is, that always-easy honesty between them.

"Oh, you'll scream, all right."

Eugene grins against Rapunzel's swollen, thoroughly-kissed mouth, whispering to her as he takes her knee into his hand, pushing her leg out and down into the grass; though the cheeky smile immediately falls from his lips when he enters her, having almost forgotten how tight and wet she always is for him. Though tonight, she seems extra tight and extra wet. Probably because she is.

Again, almost losing the love of your life will do that to you.

"Fuck." Eugene can't help it, and he doesn't want to, the expletive which falls from his lips as he feels her warmth clenching all around him. "Fuuuuck."

Fucking finally.

"Yes..." Rapunzel breathes in return, head lolling to the side as her eyes roll automatically to the back of her head, grinding her hips against his with the kind of evil intent that she damn well only could've learned from him, immediately wanting to take him so much deeper. "Oh, yes..."

Eugene moves incredibly slowly inside of her despite Rapunzel's desperate hip grinding, blissfully savoring the feeling of her warm wetness around him, wanting this reunion of theirs to last. Her fingers tangle themselves in his hair, the prettiest little sounds falling from her lips as she struggles to speak.

"Oh, Eugene... never leave. Never, ever leave again. Promise… promise me."

Eugene doesn't know if she means to never leave the place between her legs or to never leave her. But he knows that he doesn't want to do either, not ever. So Eugene quickly leans down to kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, wordlessly reassuring Rapunzel of her understandable fears as he presses their foreheads together.

"I won't." He's quick to reassure her with his words, too, never wanting her to worry over such a ridiculous possibility. But it's not ridiculous, not to her. It almost happened today. "I won't, I promise. Never ever."

And he means it. Promises are sacred between them, after all; defining of their first moments together, defining of their relationship. Promises are made to be kept, and when Eugene promises to never leave her again, he means it.

"Never…" Rapunzel breathes lazily back, one hand fisting the grass as he pushes deeper inside of her, causing her to whimper in joy as she reaches up to brush the knuckles of her free hand softy against Eugene's cheek. Her eyebrows scrunch together as though she were trying to hold back tears as she looks up at him. She's holding back tears, because that's how much she never wants him to stop being inside of her. "You feel so good. So, so good. Better than you've ever felt."

It's true. And maybe it's the slowness of it all, being able to feel every inch of one another, fighting the urge to rush this; fighting the urge to quickly reach the point of satisfaction that they both crave so deeply. It would be so easy, but no. This needs to be done the right way. They need to enjoy this – really enjoy this – after everything that's happened between them today.

So maybe it's the slowness of it all. Maybe it's the fact that she'd almost lost him to another woman earlier that day. Maybe it's both. It doesn't matter. They're here and they're together, making love in the soft, swaying grass, moaning for one another under an endless sky of twinkling stars. And it doesn't matter why it feels so good, so different from all the other times. It only matters that it does.

And she's right. It feels so fucking good, even better than all of the times before (and there's been a lot of them), something that Eugene had never thought to even be possible. She's never been so wet, so warm and ready for him. And maybe it's the stars and the quiet hush of the forest around them, the fireflies dancing among the swaying grass. Maybe it's the fact that she'd almost lost him to someone else. Maybe it's all getting her off at once, escalating the pleasure for the both of them.

Eugene doesn't care why, really. He just cares that it's true. That she still wants him this much after everything he's put her through today.

"The stars! Oh, I can see them, I can see all of them. There's so many… too many!" Rapunzel whimpers then as Eugene presses his hips a bit harder to hers, pushing himself even deeper, somehow. "I wish that I could count every single one."

She knows that she can't, knows that her silly wish isn't even remotely feasible. Rapunzel knows that there's far too many stars in the universe to count them all (she'd tried in the tower, more than once), but she wants to. She wants something that she can count on, something that can never leave or run through her fingers like water. Something that she can have control of, when control has never been something which has belonged to her. There is an endless amount of stars that are shining above them, hanging there as though they were tethered loosely to the sky, and he loves her, and he's inside of her. The world is spinning way too fast, and she's going to cry right now, because she just can't help it.

"It's so beautiful..." Rapunzel bites back a poorly-hidden sob, her shaky voice threatening to give her away as she buries her face into his neck. "It's all so beautiful, Eugene, and I love you. I love you so much, and I almost lost you to her, and —"

"Shhh... shhh. It's okay now. I'm here, we're here. Just feel, Blondie. Just feel this with me. No more worries in that pretty head of yours." Eugene leans down to kiss her then, passion unchecked and flowing over from his mouth and into hers as he maintains their slow, sensual rhythm. "I'm not going anywhere. Not ever."

And then, as he tries so hard to console her, Rapunzel realizes: he is her something. Eugene is her something to count on, her something that will never leave or run through her fingers like water. He is her everything, her entire universe. His soul is so painfully intertwined with hers, and they're going to be tangled up like this forever; they have to be. They have to be, or she won't be able to go on.

"Here, why don't we change positions?" Eugene gently pulls out of her with a chaste kiss to her cheek, the wet, sliding motion causing a low moan to escape from Rapunzel's lips, reminding Eugene of how much he loves being the reason that she makes noises like that. "I want you to be able to see it all without me being in the way."

Eugene sits back in the grass on his knees, legs spread so that she can settle between them, guiding her so that she's kneeling slightly forward with her back to him. Inching down onto him, Rapunzel releases a long moan as she slowly seats herself fully in his lap, tilting her head to rest the back of it atop his shoulder, their flushed cheeks brushing softly. She opens her eyes then, and she can see everything now that he's not on top of her, and it's so overwhelmingly perfect. She can see the moon and the stars above, the silent spin of the universe as she grinds down onto his cock, taking all of him as he moans for her. This position feels so entirely different than the last, allowing her to control how deep he goes.

They both knew that this was going to be good, the anticipation nearly killing them no more than ten minutes ago, and the stress of this horrible day coming to an ultimate breaking point. But now that they have it, now that they have one another in their arms again, they hadn't realized that this physical reunion would feel quite this way. They'd known that it would be good, because it always is between them. But this good? This breathtaking, this perfect? Even they couldn't have imagined it. This is so good, so easy! Things feel right between them again.

But then, had they ever really stopped?

"Fuck. Fuck, do I love you." Eugene murmurs into her hair as his lips latch to the side of Rapunzel's neck as she pushes her back flush to his chest, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. "I love you so much."

"Oh, Eugene... I can feel you everywhere." Rapunzel responds with a deep grind of her hips, completely breathless already. "You're so... you're so perfect. You're perfect for me."

She laughs heartily then, and it catches him off guard in the best kind of way, because Eugene has never shared such pure joy while making love to another person before he started making love with her. Probably because he'd never considered it to be 'making love' when it was with anyone else.

"I love... I love how you fill me, I love how good you always feel. It's like… it's like we were meant to fit together. Like you were made for me."

Rapunzel is clearly feeling rather complimentary tonight, and Eugene can't lie that the sweet words ease his conscience; he can't lie that her soft voice and loving, dirty words make him feel so much better about everything that had happened between them today. And she's right. God, she's right. They were made for each other. They just had to be. The vast universe above never would've allowed them to meet – never would've allowed this reunion to feel this good, this right – if it weren't true.

And Eugene is so glad that she's talking to him through this, so glad that she's sharing her thoughts, because he'd been terrified all night that she might shut down and shut him out. He'd been terrified that she wouldn't be ready for this. That, unlike him, Rapunzel wouldn't need to be consoled in this particular way, that she wouldn't be aching for physical comfort from him just as much as emotional consolation.

Eugene knows his princess, knows that she always yearns for physical affection in a quiet, never-trying-to-be-overbearing-about-it kind of way. But he'd been so horrified by the prospect of marrying another woman; so horrified that Eugene had thought himself in anxious circles all night, convincing himself that Rapunzel may never forgive him. He'd convinced himself that she may never want to make love to him again. It seems silly, this worry, especially now that this physical reconciliation is actually happening. Regardless, the notion that she may never forgive him had been real, if only for a moment.

But she has. She has forgiven him for not being able to find another way, a better way – a way that didn't involve leaving her – out of the situation with Stalyan and the Baron. That much is clear, her forgiveness all warm and wet, surrounding his cock as she grinds down onto it.

She always does, doesn't she; forgive? Rapunzel never holds anything against him, never keeps all that forgiveness in her heart for herself. And after the day that they've had, Eugene needs to hear her, needs to know that she still wants this; needs to know that she still wants him. All of him.

She has all of him. She's tracing his scars with her fingertips – the emotional ones, and the physical – gripping the stars above them in her hands, forcing the world to come to a complete, hard stop around him. He's so in love with her, and she's so gorgeous here in the moonlight, moaning for him, and he's never wanted her more than he does right now. He's panting, too, absolute putty in her hands, and it's completely pointless to try not to be; completely pointless to attempt to be suave, pointless to try to hold himself together tonight.

And maybe he'd given up on being the suave, put together Flynn Rider long ago, on the day that she'd crushed him in her little hands; on the first damn day of knowing her. But tonight, Eugene really doesn't care about appearances, even more so than usual. He doesn't care if he seems desperate, he doesn't care if he can't form a single coherent thought for the rest of the night. Not as long as he's inside of her, and she's moaning his name, and she's fixing the broken things inside of him in a way that Stalyan never, never could. Tonight, Eugene is determined to give all of himself to this girl in his arms; his true self.

If not because he'd almost become someone else's in the blink of an eye, then because he's only ever been his true self with her.

"I'm yours. All of me, I'm yours." Eugene groans, trying to push his hips up and against her the best that he can each time Rapunzel grinds down onto him, though his kneeling position makes it a bit difficult to do so. "Only yours. Forever."

"Forever..." Rapunzel breathes, echoing the sweet sentiment as she sinks back down onto him, moaning loudly as Eugene pushes his hips up and against her bottom half, bringing himself as deep inside of her as he possibly can be. It feels so good, and he feels so good, and Rapunzel finds herself still wanting more of him somehow. "I want you forever."

Forever.

He's so glad to hear her say that, because after she'd said nothing when he'd all but proposed to her for a second time, Eugene hadn't been sure where Rapunzel's head was at; if she wanted to marry him at all.

She leans forward then, falling into the soft grass on her hands and knees as Eugene follows her lead, taking Rapunzel from behind as she kneels in front of him, their change in position completely fluid and without pause. This new position feeling so good – so deep – Eugene steadily quickens his pace, forcing Rapunzel even further forward, sinking down from her elbows and resting on her forearms now.

Grabbing at the earth, hands coming up with fistfuls of soft grass, Rapunzel desperately finds herself needing something steady to grab onto as she presses her forehead to the ground, trying so hard to ground herself, though she's ultimately unable to find that steady something. She feels Eugene's steady hand around the front of her neck then, gently guiding her back onto her elbows as he leans forward to mutter breathlessly into her ear.

"Don't lean down that far. I want to see your pretty face when I make you cum."

Rapunzel's heart has never beat so fast in nineteen years, threatening to burst out of her chest and plant itself right there in the dewy grass below them in response to his words. Her soul has never dropped to her toes so quickly. Not even once.

Fuck, he's good at this.

"Yes... yes, yes, yes..." Rapunzel moans the word to the sky each time he bottoms out, each time he thrusts hard into her from behind. "Oh, Eugene..."

Eugene takes a fistful of her silky, golden hair then, drawing it away from her face so that he can see her; so that he can look at her fully as he leans forward, nuzzling his nose against Rapunzel's flushed cheek, his voice low and dark in her ear.

"I love it when you make sounds like that."

"I love you." Rapunzel releases the words in a scattered collision of shallow breaths and ragged moans, not even caring that she's rambling nearly incoherently now. "I love that I can feel you like this. I can feel all of you, and you're so deep, and… oh, Eugene, I love you so much!"

She arches into him and pushes her hips back against his each time that he brings his own hips forward, the soft grass and rich earth beneath them, her hair like a river of gold trailing around their bodies as he pounds her into the soft, padded ground. And the grass isn't enough, she can't find purchase there. Not in the grass, not in his hair as she reaches behind her with one hand, scrambling to grab hold of it.

None of it is enough. She wants more. She has all of him and yet, somehow, she still wants more. And maybe that makes her greedy and selfish, behaviors which would usually make Rapunzel feel dirty all over, simply because they're so far from her typical nature. She's never succumbed to the greedy selfishness; she's never been allowed to.

But tonight, she doesn't care at all. Tonight, she wants to be selfish and she wants to be greedy with him. She's allowed to be, Rapunzel quickly convinces herself, though their relationship is typically far from possessive under normal circumstances. But these are not normal circumstances. Tonight, she is allowed to find this blissful solace in the man that she'd almost lost to someone else today. She's allowed to be selfish in how much she wants him, in how much she loves him. Because she's so freaking in love with him, and they're going to be okay, and he's whispering every dirty thing that crosses his mind to her as he fucks her harder than he's ever fucked her before, and they're going to be okay.

"You're such a good girl…" Eugene murmurs softly then, and although the words shouldn't make Rapunzel whimper and want him even more, they do. They always do. "You're doing so good, and you're so perfect… fuck, you're so incredibly perfect, Sunshine."

Rapunzel knows that she shouldn't need praise from him – shouldn't need praise from anyone – but she does. After eighteen years spent in the tower, being belittled and plagued with backhanded compliments, she does. And when that praise comes from him – especially when it's like this, his voice shaky and low, deep and damp in her ear – she can't take it. She can't help it; she loves it. It turns her on. It hurts her on so much, makes her feel so hot, and makes her ache for him even though he's already inside of her.

He's praised her during sex before, and it had made her ache all the more for him every time; his well-meaning, yet entirely sensual words making her so wet for him that it was almost embarrassing. But it wasn't; it wasn't embarrassing, because it's them. And because it's them – because he is the only man that she could ever imagine giving her entire self to like this – it's okay that she wants him so badly, it's okay that his low words make her feel this way. It's okay, because the feeling is entirely mutual.

"Fuuuuck… Eugene…" Rapunzel whines breathlessly at his praiseful words, yelping in surprise when he takes her by the hips and flips her over, cradling the back of her head before she lands hard in the grass, never quite stopping the pounding of his hips against hers. "Eugene, I wa… mmm… I want –"

His smile is cheeky, a little smug even, and Rapunzel knows what he's doing; she knows what's coming. Literally.

"What was that, sweetheart?"

He's toying with her. This annoying, handsome, perfect man is toying with her.

"Ugh, Eugene! You know what I'm asking for, come on –"

"I will if you will." He grins then, nuzzling her nose before sinking them into a heated kiss, smiling even wider against Rapunzel's lips as she moans into his mouth. Pulling away far too soon for Rapunzel's liking, Eugene chuckles at her glare, knowing that she's not really angry with him, only frustrated. The good kind of frustrated. "Is that what you want, Sunshine? To cum?"

"Uh huh." Rapunzel pants and nods frantically, staring helplessly into his shining eyes, wordlessly pleading with him. "Please."

"Well, you should've just said so." Eugene plays, tapping her nose with his index finger as he continues to move inside of her; not terribly slowly, but not quite as hard as he was when he was fucking her from behind just minutes ago, instead moving his fingers between her legs to stroke her most sensitive place. "Would've saved you a whole lot of trouble."

"You're so lucky…" Rapunzel grinds her teeth, head lolling to the side, though her face breaks apart into an easy, lazy smile as soon as she feels his hand between her thighs, rubbing gently at her clit. "You're so lucky that I love you."

"I am, aren't I?" Eugene grins down at her, so hopelessly in love, knowing that he's lucky. So damn lucky.

It doesn't take long for either of them. As soon as she's pulsing around him, her warm wetness clenching so hard that it almost hurts, he's a goner.

They look one another in the eyes as they cum, until they can't handle it anymore and simply must close them to succumb to the pleasure, allowing themselves to become completely lost in the crickets chirping, and the rushing stream, and the feeling of her molten desire pulsing around him, over and over again. His palms start to hurt from pressing them into the ground so hard, so Eugene gently lies his head on her heaving chest, trying to catch his breath himself as they both come down from such a mind-blowing high.

"Hey, Sunshine?"

"Yeah…" Rapunzel responds dreamily, relentless waves of pleasure still throbbing inside of her.

"I love you so much. And that was fucking amazing."

She laughs out loud at that, the beautiful sound piercing into the night air between them.

"I've always wanted to do this, you know." Rapunzel murmurs, having mostly caught her breath now, leaning down to kiss Eugene's forehead and brush his damp, fallen bang away from his eyes. "Make love under the stars."

"Oh, yeah?" Eugene muses with a raised eyebrow, picking up his head to leave lazy kisses across her chest and along her collarbone. "I think you might've failed to share this erotic fantasy of yours with me, my love."

In actuality, he'd known this already, even without her having to tell him. It was just so her, to want something like this. It was so very her, to want to experience this with all of nature surrounding them, with the entire universe hanging above their heads. Nonetheless, Eugene is glad that she's still sharing her deepest thoughts with him so easily, grateful that he could help in making her dreams come true; even if those dreams are a little novel and quite whimsical. It had been perfect, just as she'd hoped it would.

"Yeah." Rapunzel responds softly, a small smile tugging at her lips as she plays with his fingers. "It's just… it's romantic, with the stars and the moon and… and everything. I could see everything. I liked that, I liked how free and small I felt, all at the same time. And I like that I can…"

Eugene catches her blush then, noticing the endearing way that Rapunzel can't quite look at him as she continues to mess with his hand in hers, running the pad of her index finger along the creases of his palm.

"I like that I can moan and scream for you out here. I like that I didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing us. I wish things could be this way in the castle, you know? Sometimes… sometimes I wish the world was just you and me." Rapunzel sighs then, smiling sheepishly at him. The smile quickly drops, though, and Eugene can sense that her brain is still working on overtime, despite their physical reconciliation. "I guess things don't always happen in the way that we want them to, huh?"

Eugene ponders on her entirely endearing words for a moment, taking both of Rapunzel's hands into his and pulling them to his chest so that she can feel his heartbeat, knowing that she likes it. She likes to feel his heartbeat, likes to know that he's alive. He's miraculously still alive when, really, he shouldn't be. He wouldn't be, without her. And she likes it, the added reassurance of his blood pumping under her palm.

"There's something that I want you to understand, Blondie." Eugene takes a deep, shaky breath, preparing himself for this loaded, necessary conversation. "Something that I really need you to understand about what happened today."

Nodding gingerly, sensing a shift in the mood and gauging his abruptly-serious tone, Rapunzel repositions herself in order to fully look Eugene in the face as he speaks. Still lying back in the grass, she props herself up and onto her elbows, keeping one of her hands in his. Fingers intertwined as he too props himself onto his elbows, settling between her legs again, Rapunzel stays quiet, letting Eugene know that he has her full attention; knowing that vulnerability has never been easy for him, but he tries. For her, he always tries.

"I love you. So, so much." Eugene looks to her tentatively, an almost terrified look in his eyes, as though Rapunzel might argue with him about the validity of his statement. After what happened today, he really wouldn't blame her if she did. "You know that, don't you?"

"I think you just showed me that you do."

"I did. And it felt really good, didn't it?" Rapunzel giggles at that, which makes Eugene laugh, too, though his smile quickly fades. "But I don't mean it like that, Rapunzel. I mean, if you were to take sex completely out of the picture… you know that I would still love you more than anything that I've ever loved, right? More than I've ever loved anyone?"

"Of course I do." Rapunzel breathes, mostly because she's so relieved to hear him say so, her anxiety having told her differently all day. "How could I not know? You tell me all the time. And I love you just as much, Eugene."

"Then you need to know that I never wanted to marry Stalyan, that I was blackmailed onto that altar. Both times. You need to know that I am so unbearably sorry about what you had to go through in the last few days." He says that he's sorry, and she can tell that he means it. He means it. "I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about Stalyan before, I'm so sorry that my past mistakes caught up to me today. I'm sorry that those mistakes hurt you. And I really do want to make it up to you."

"You already have, Eugene." Rapunzel searches his face, hearing what he's saying without him really having to say it. "I'm not angry with you for what happened. You might think that I am, but I'm not. You were being a loyal friend. I'm proud of you for that."

"But you should be. You should be angry with me." Eugene reasons firmly, wanting Rapunzel to know that he would understand if she was; if she still was, even after their entirely passionate lovemaking. "You have every right to be. I hid something really big from you. I turned my back on you."

She should be angry, shouldn't she? He's angry with himself, after all.

"But I'm not. I'm in love with you, Eugene. I love you, and… and yes, it hurt so badly to watch you walk away, to hear that you'd made your choice. To hear that I wasn't your choice. It felt like… like my heart had just been ripped right out of my chest, like it would be easier to stand there and die than it would be to go on without you." Rapunzel's eyes soften then, and Eugene can't quite comprehend how he'd gotten lucky enough to find someone so compassionate, so unconditionally empathetic. "But there was more to the story than I could see then. I know that now. I know that this has been an entirely awful, very strange day."

Rapunzel reaches between them to caress his jaw, such love glistening in her eyes that it makes Eugene feel positively weak. And yet, he's stronger for knowing her, somehow.

"And I know that, despite how awful and strange today has been, we're going to be okay. You and me, we're going to be alright, because we always are. Things are going to be like they were, they'll be normal again. They'll be better. We'll be better for this, Eugene, stronger together because of it." Rapunzel smiles then – a real smile – and Eugene is more of a goner than he was when they were fucking, somehow; her words are too sweet and reassuring for him not to be. "I know we will. I believe that."

"I believe that, too." Eugene sniffs, not wanting to cry, because it'll only make her cry. And she's being so sweet that it'll kill him if she cries now. "I just can't help but feel so angry at myself for letting something like this happen. For letting someone get between us like that. For almost losing you."

"Eugene, your past doesn't define you." Rapunzel sighs, gently tucking his bang away from his eyes, though it just falls roguishly back to its natural place at the side of his head. "It can only do that if you let it."

"I know." Eugene sighs heavily himself, rubbing at his forehead, feeling completely silly now for allowing Stalyan to get into his mind, because Rapunzel is right. She's completely right. "I know."

She searches his face for a long moment then, and Eugene is quite sure that Rapunzel's eyes are glossed over with tears of her own, though she's trying her best to keep them at bay.

"Why are you letting it, then?" It's a completely loaded question; one that they don't have nearly enough time to answer in only one night alone. "Please don't be angry with yourself. I don't want that."

There she goes again. Never letting him get away with anything, never letting him hide behind the mask that he'd used for so many years to shield the world from his true identity; loving him so much that she can't imagine how he couldn't love himself that much, too. There she goes again, always being able to see right through him. There she goes, always making him feel safe enough to show the best parts of himself… and the ugliest parts, too.

"Because you're the only good thing that's ever happened to me, Rapunzel! You're the only thing that's ever made me want to be good." Eugene shakes his head, releasing a frustrated mix between a laugh and a scoff from his chest, because what happened today was just so unbelievable. How could he not be angry with himself for letting it happen? "Today, I almost married the woman who made me the worst version of myself. And I let her dig up this… this bitterness inside of me. This bitterness for what happened to me before I met you. For the life that I lived, for the person that I was. For all the horrible things that I did and all the mistakes that I've made. This bitterness for everything that wasn't fair."

Rapunzel is thoughtfully quiet for a long moment, pondering carefully what to say next as she stares into his eyes in the iridescent moonlight, the soothing sounds of the crackling campfire and the rushing stream filling the silence between them. It's going to be hard to admit out loud what she's about to say, but Rapunzel wants nothing more than to console her love; wants nothing more than to make him feel better, somehow. To make sure that Eugene doesn't feel alone, ever, because he's always made sure that she doesn't feel alone.

Things with Eugene have always been so easy, and for a moment, Rapunzel is brought back to the fire-lit conversation that they'd shared on their first night together; so vulnerable, so warm and open. So defining of their relationship, setting the precedence for what was to come between them: honesty, and warmth, and the security of wholeheartedly speaking your mind and trusting another person with every piece of yourself.

He'd told her his story that night, and that night, he'd become part of her story, too.

"You know, I was really angry for a while when I first got out of my tower."

Eugene visibly reels a bit at this, pulling back to look at her in a moment of lulled disbelief.

"You? Angry?" A small smile tugs at his lips, because Eugene hasn't had the opportunity to see Rapunzel genuinely angry too much. Typically, the sweet princess shoves her feelings down and acts as if she's fine, even when she's really not. They've been trying to work on that lately. "You're kidding."

There had been so many sleepless nights, so many times in which she'd woken up all but screaming from a horrific nightmare in which Gothel had killed him and she hadn't been able to bring him back. She'd cried herself hoarse, she'd found herself in his bed in the middle of the night, sobbing in his arms; it happened far more than once. But to say that Rapunzel had seemed angry during those first few months in the castle, almost doesn't feel right. She'd been traumatized, she'd been sad, and she'd been betrayed. There was no doubting that. But angry? She hadn't seemed it. It went against her nature.

Though, Eugene had always worried that she wasn't angry enough about what happened to them, about what had been taken from her for eighteen years. He sure was. When they'd learned the truth, he was furious about what happened to her, about what was taken from her. But Rapunzel, Eugene had quickly learned, is quite versed in suppressing the emotions that she doesn't think other people will want to see. This, clearly, is no exception.

Being emotionally abused in a tower for eighteen years will do that to a person.

"Oh, yeah. I was furious." Rapunzel shakes her head, recalling the time with a melancholy glimmer of sadness in her eye, her voice cracking then. "I was so mad, Eugene. And I didn't even know how to deal with it, because I was never allowed to deal with it in the tower. Suddenly, I was so mad that someone just… took everything away from me. I was so mad that my entire life was a lie, I was so mad that I missed out on everything. That I needed to somehow catch up on eighteen years of life in only a few months. I mean, how do you do that? How does a person do that without completely losing their mind?"

Eugene knows that the question is rhetorical, so he stays quiet, listening intently. After this day, she needs to vent as much as he does. He can feel it, can see it in her eyes. And despite the mind-blowing sex that they'd just had, it's not quite enough. They need to talk about this. In order for things to feel truly good and well between them again, they need to talk about what happened. They need to talk about everything.

"I didn't want anyone to know that I was angry like that, because I was supposed to be grateful. Other people in the world have gone through so much worse than I did. People like you. I still had a warm place to live, and food to eat, and a mother who I at least thought loved me. And then, I was suddenly home, and I finally had a real family, and I had parents who love me so much. I had you. I mean, people would kill to have you! Not to mention, I was a princess! Anyone would want a life like that. How could I possibly be angry about it?" Rapunzel stares up at the sky as she speaks, and Eugene can tell that she's naming the constellations, mapping out the universe in her head to distract herself from crying. "But I was. I couldn't help it. It was all so much, all at once."

Rapunzel looks back to him abruptly then, all of her love settling on him at once, her gaze so affectionate and soft that Eugene doesn't think he could possibly be deserving of everything that she's so willingly offering to him. He realizes then, he is her entire universe. She is mapping him out, locking this moment away in her memory; perhaps, so that she can journal it tomorrow.

This night would make one hell of a journal entry.

"And do you know what I was so, so angry about? What hurt most of all?"

"What?" Eugene questions softly, entirely intrigued, wishing that he'd known that she'd felt this way at the time; wishing he'd known that she was as angry as he was about the whole thing.

He'd known that she had been traumatized beyond belief when Rapunzel was fresh out of the tower, but not that she'd been necessarily angry in this way. She was… she was Rapunzel. Rapunzel so very rarely got genuinely angry. And at the time, Eugene was just as emotionally stunted as she was. He tried his best to be there for her, but he didn't have the tools to fix everything for her, even though he desperately wanted to. It had taken the both of them time to heal from what happened in the tower. A lot of time.

"I was so angry that I almost lost you. I mean, nothing about those eighteen years in that tower made me as angry as almost losing you did. Not even realizing that my entire life had been this huge lie."

Rapunzel understands why Eugene is so angry with himself now, even though she doesn't want him to be. She understands why he's so angry for almost losing himself – and her – to Stalyan. He doesn't want her to, doesn't want her to know this pain, but she understands. It's comforting to know that she understands.

"And I was supposed to be happy, you know? I was supposed to be grateful. Because you're here, you're alive. I'm so lucky that you're alive." Rapunzel breathes quietly, tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she gingerly cups his face. This time, she doesn't bother to hold them back. "I knew that. I knew how lucky I was."

She's staring at him, and he's alive, and God, she's lucky to have him. And he, lucky to have her.

"And yet, I was still so angry inside. I wanted to forgive her, I wanted to forgive myself. I wanted to find that peace. But for a while, I just couldn't. I couldn't stop hearing her say, 'Look what you've done, Rapunzel.' Like it would've been my fault if you died. And I didn't want to be selfish, I didn't want to seem ungrateful. But I couldn't believe that she tried to take you away from me like that. I couldn't believe that you really died in my arms. That I was so close to living a life that didn't have you in it."

The simple thought of his dead body on the tower floor – the thought of what could've been – is an open-eyed nightmare in its own right, digging up the grave of everything that had happened not only in the tower, but today. For the second time, she'd been so close to living out an alternate version of her life without him, and the idea is entirely horrifying for the both of them, if only because today had reminded them that it's so entirely possible. That life finds humor in the tragedy of the human experience.

"And you're right, Eugene. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair what happened to me, it wasn't fair what happened to you. None of it was fair, today wasn't fair. But we did the best that we could with what we had when we were young, with what we knew at the time. I don't hold it against you for not knowing what you needed then. For not knowing how to be better." Rapunzel shrugs halfheartedly, finishing her longwinded confession with downcast eyes, as though she were deeply ashamed about something. "I didn't know how to be better."

Then, she looks at him, and her eyes are suddenly so hopeful, and she looks like her usual self again, and it's beautiful. Eugene is reminded for the millionth time tonight exactly why he'd fallen so madly in love with her in the first place, and he is reminded that everything is going to be okay between them.

"But we do now. We know how to be better, for each other. We know that life isn't always going to be fair, and we know that the possibility of losing one another is not only terrifying, but real." Rapunzel smiles then, so softly that Eugene swears that he can feel his heart breaking in his chest, because she is so enchanting here in the moonlight, so much stronger and wiser than a person who has lived through what she has should be. "And we know that, in spite of it all, life is too short to carry anger and bitterness in our hearts. The only thing that we need to make room for… is love."

Love. It's all that has ever mattered between them, isn't it? It's what saved him, after all.

Eugene is quiet for a very long moment then, soaking in everything that she's said. And he knows that Rapunzel – achingly beautiful, gentle-natured, empathetic, and strong as she is – is right. She's completely right, because life is too short, and they do know better now. Now, they have one another. They have one another to love, they have one another to be better for. And maybe they can't fix everything for each other, but they can love one another while they fix themselves. And nothing else will ever matter again.

Marriage will come. Babies will come, forever will come. But for now, they have come to an understanding. They have finally returned to the same page. They want the same things. They always have, haven't they? Perhaps their needs got lost in translation, but they will learn from everything that's happened today, and try their best to ensure that it doesn't happen ever again.

"You know, Princess…" Eugene smiles down at her fondly, pure affection shining in his brown eyes as he softly runs his fingers along the curve of Rapunzel's jaw, so excited to simply hold her tonight. He's going to have to convince Cassandra to allow them to sleep together in the caravan some nights, because he's not sure how he's going to stay away from her again after everything that's happened. "You sure do know how to make a guy feel like maybe he's not such a fuckup after all."

The statement is Eugene's attempt at a lighthearted joke after the horribly stressful day that they've had, but Rapunzel draws her eyebrows abruptly together instead of laughing as he'd hoped, looking up at Eugene with an entirely serious expression.

"I'll gladly spend the right of my life making sure you never feel that way ever again."

And there she goes again. Loving all of his best parts; loving all of his ugly parts, too.

"The rest of your life, huh?"

I know you deserve much better

Remember the time I told you the way that I felt

And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself

Let's hold onto each other above everything else…

AN: Well, I'm officially having trouble with deciding which I enjoyed writing more: Until We Freeze or Damaged At Best. New Dream's reasons for needing one another in each story are so understandable, the stakes both so high, yet for entirely different reasons. That being said, I really adore the conversation from the end of this fic, and I really adored writing this piece in general. I suppose that each fic can be my favorite for their own reasons.

Can you pick a favorite from this emotionally-charged series? Do you want more from this collection, where I explore New Dream responding to traumatic, highly emotional events, seeking out a special kind of comfort that only the other can provide? If so, let me know, because I'm thinking of making this an ongoing series. The next addition will potentially follow the events of Cassandra's Revenge and Eugene's birthday. And please, feel free to provide prompts for future additions to this collection if you have any other ideas!

As always, thank you for reading!