Total Drama: Clash of the Titans – Episode 1: The Best of the Best

Chris McLean, suave and gelled up as ever, stood in the shadow of massive marble ruins as a drone captured the scope of the site, the host an ant compared to the temple. Crisp air blew in from the Aegean Sea onto Temple Island, ruffling the host's hair much to his wind-blown delight.

"Welcome back, TD fans! It's been a while. A long while if I'm being honest. Production hell is a killer, but after a brief hiatus, the show you all know and love is back for more, and more you shall receive! Over six seasons, we've seen 51 teens and an old bag who shall remain nameless compete in death-defying challenges, travel around the globe, endure raging hormones, and face the reality that being a reality television Z-lister often requires a lot of emotional strain, especially when a million big ones are on the line. So for this season, we've decided to honor Total Drama's history by bringing back 16 legendary contestants to play the game one more time. They've proven they have what it takes to make deep runs and even win the money, but nothing will prepare them for the grueling weeks ahead as they're tested like never before. And would you look at that, here they come now..."

Out at sea, cruising over rough waves, two large military grade helicopters with dual blades carried the 16 contestants, divided into 8 dudes and 8 chicks, towards Temple Island.

The camera cut inside the men's chopper to show the 8 sitting quietly. Owen clutched his stitched together teddy bear, Duncan tapped his foot to the rock anthem playing over the speakers, Alejandro surveyed his competition with intrigue, Cody surveyed his competition with anxiety, Lightning sat with his arms crossed and a smug smirk on his face, and Scott kept a close eye on Mike, who simply twiddled his thumbs patiently. The chopper hit some turbulence and Shawn tumbled out of the overhead compartment, his plan to avoid any onboard zombies failing miserably right off the bat.

Confessional

Owen let out a goofy snort of a laugh. "Oh man, I can't believe I'm back again! Season 7, woohooooo! It's like I never left!" He suddenly turned a little blue. "I just wish my little buddy Noah was here with me, but I guess they didn't think he was a good fit for the cast. It really blows, but if you're watching at home, I'm winnin' this for us!"

(static)

Scott simply rolled his eyes. "I'd be lying if I said I volunteered to be on a third season of this show, but money talks, and how could I turn down a chance to compete on a season like this?! It's the best of the best! I mean, sure, I already played with most of them before, but still, if they want Scotty-boy back for a season of legends, I can't say no." He smirked like a smug bastard. "And hey, maybe I'll be able to show these chumps some new tricks."

(static)

Shawn rubbed his sore head. "Okay, so maybe hiding in the overhead compartment of a moving aircraft isn't the best way to avoid zombies. But if you wanna tell me I wasn't thinking ahead, you're crazy. Anyways, I'm here to win it again. An anti-zombie bunker is nice, but a bigger anti-zombie bunker is better!" He turned a little red and started scratching his neck. "Aaaaand maybe helping Jasmine out is even better than that. I owe that girl a lot."

(static)

Cody awkwardly looked around in the confessional booth. "Sooooo… best of the best? Not exactly how I'd describe myself, but hey, I'll take it. I don't even know what else to say. All I remember was getting a call for another season and then the next thing I know, I'm stuffed into a helicopter with some elite alums and flown out of Canada. Yeah. It's a weird feeling."

End Confessional

The camera flashed over to the women's chopper, where the other 8 players on the cast sat quietly just like the men. Gwen appeared pensive and somewhat annoyed, Heather filed her nails and shifted in her seat ever so slightly, Beth carelessly fiddled with a lock of her hair as if she was in some other plane of existence, Courtney couldn't bring herself to look anyone in the eye and just stared out the window, Zoey plugged her ears as the rock music blared through the speaker right over her head, Sugar furiously bobbed her head to the beat, Jasmine ducked low to avoid bumping her head on the ceiling, and Sky sat plain as could be with her game face on.

Confessional

Heather put down the nail file and looked right into the camera with a cocky smirk. "It's been a while, but yeah, I'm back. It's not like I'm excited to be put through another gauntlet of McLean brand death traps, but the Queen Bee that is me heard the best of the best would be here, and that's a title I want. And what I want, I will get. Mark those words."

(static)

Courtney let out a miserable sigh and smacked her forehead. "Ugh, I hate this cast already and I've only seen the girls so far. It's like they found everyone I screwed over across four seasons and stuck them with me. I screwed Gwen over hard multiple times, Heather hates my guts, Beth kind of hates me but I don't know how much, and Zoey totally knows I came after her in All-Stars. The only girls who don't hate me yet are the Pakhitew crew, but I don't know, maybe they hated me on the show just to add insult to injury. Either way, it's gonna be a nightmare."

(static)

"It's so weird coming back after I swore I wouldn't," said Zoey, cocking her head. "But when Chris offered a ton of cash and a spot on 'the most epic season ever' I couldn't say no like the idiot I am, not that my contract would let me sit out of this one." Her eyes popped open wide and she cringed. "I mean, not that I'm an idiot all the time. Just for saying yes to this season."

(static)

Sugar let out a dorky chuckle. "Awww yeah, Sugar's back for the money and she ain't takin' no pris-nerds this time! I still ain't over my total robbery last season, and seein' Sky, Shawn, and Jasmine here just makes me want revenge even more. But ol' Sugar can't get too hog wild this time, or she ain't makin' the merge. Them others know I'm the biggest threat to win out of everyone here, and darn right they gonna try an' get me out ASAP. But I say bring it and let the battle begin!"

End Confessional

Both choppers landed in the field near the marble temple as Chris threw his arms to the side to soak it all in and land one sick T-pose. "16 Total Drama veterans, a whole new location, and one massive prize at the end! It's the biggest battle in Total Drama history, and it all starts now, on Total… Drama… Clash of the Titans!"

The two choppers spun clouds of dust and debris in their last moments of activity as Chris approached the scene, a classic McLean brand smirk stretched across his plastic-looking face. Once the dust settled, the contestants began hopping out on by one, still shaken up by the turbulence.

"Alright, campers! Everybody in front of me, one line, side to side!"

The two groups rounded the front ends of their respective helicopters and saw the other half of their competition for the first time. Shawn and Jasmine locked eyes and smiled. Gwen died a little inside seeing Cody and Duncan walking in, but didn't show it on her pale face. Mike and Zoey waved and grinned. Courtney surveyed the eight guys for possible enemies and immediately regretted looking. And then there was Owen: happy to see everyone.

"Well well well," Chris began. "If it isn't the cast of our biggest season yet. It's been a while, guys. A long while. So let's break the ice with a little probing."

"Doesn't that hurt?" Beth whispered anxiously to the nearest girl, who just happened to be Sugar.

The blonde farm girl shrugged. "Only if ya struggle."

Chris ignored the weirdness happening on that end of the line and looked immediately to Owen. "Owen, as the first Total Drama winner, who stupidly gave up his money in a fit of greed and has yet to win it back, how does it feel to be a part of a cast like this?"

"Oh man!" Owen cheered. "It's awesome! I mean, the ride over was total misery, but I'm stoked to be back! Season 7! Woooooooo!"

Alejandro, standing right next to Owen during his cheer, winced in pain and covered his ears.

"Alejandro," Chris continued. "Nice to see you back. You couldn't have a cast of the best without the biggest villain in TD history, right?"

Alejandro recovered from his ear pain and crossed his arms, taking offensive at Chris' comment. "You can call me a villain, which yes, I am, but I prefer to be called a player. All of my moves were strictly game-related."

"Oh please," Heather huffed at her counterpart from across the line. "You're 100% a villain. Just own it, jerk."

"Speaking of that, Heather's back!" Chris said. "What's your take on this season?"

Heather kept her eyes locked on Alejandro. "Well, unlike my ex-boyfriend, I take pride in being a villain. Why? Because villains have more fun."

"Did you just say ex?" Beth gasped. "Oh no, your perfect but also really terrifying romance seemed destined to last forever!"

"Some things work out, others don't," Alejandro added quite casually. "Our relationship simply wasn't the former. No worries. It ended quite peacefully."

Scott gave the two a strange look, but couldn't get a thought out before Chris jumped right to him.

"Scott, you've been through a lot. Played the first Invincibility Statue, got locked in a trauma chair, ate some dirt, got your nips nipped by bunnies… Why come back for more punishment?"

Scott shrugged. "What can I say? When I heard the prize money got raised, I couldn't resist."

"So you're poor," Chris said.

Scott went limp and sighed. "Yeah."

"Well consider that your motivation," Chris said. He looked through the line for another victim and landed on… "Zoey, I seem to recall you saying you'd never come back to this show in the All-Stars finale? So what gives? Did the money talk? Did it whisper sweet nothings in your ear?"

"Yeah. But… more like the contract talked," Zoey groaned. "You really know your fine print."

Chris chuckled. "Yeah, I pride myself on my ability to hire lawyers who can weed out every loophole, like the one that would have allowed you to stay home with your million dollars and not compete in the biggest season ever which everyone should want to compete in unless they're nuts."

"Speaking of that, where's Cam?" Zoey asked, confused as to why her bubble boy friend was nowhere to found in the group. "He won our season, so isn't he one of the best of the best?"

"Sha-please," Lightning grumbled. "Everyone knows the Lightning was robbed! Bubble Boy probably knew he wouldn't stand a chance and benched himself ahead of time."

Zoey wanted to tell Lightning off to defend her friend, but figured she should just keep her trap shut to stay out of the drama. It's not like Cam needed her to defend him or anything. Nobody took Lightning's jabs seriously anyways. Or Lightning in general.

"Actually," Chris began, "Cam was indeed called up for this season, but declined on account of his little… accident last time. You know, the one where he got crushed in a mine, pulled from the game, and flushed down a giant toilet? Yeah, turns out the lawyers forgot to add that clause. Not a big loss since the dude wasn't a ratings magnet anyways and wasn't really on our most wanted list, but we did have to call in an alternate to take his place."

Cody, who had been utterly silent so far, slumped over. "Chris, please don't tell me I'm the alternate..."

Chris smirked. "Nah, you weren't the alternate."

The geek perked up. "Huh? Oh, uh, wow… That's actually good news."

"Not so fast, dude. You weren't the alternate. Harold was. But it turns out he was enrolled in Spacey Steve's Space Camp during filming, so we had to find an alternate for the alternate."

Cody slumped back over. "You mean I'm the third choice?"

"Nah," Chris said playfully. "I'm just yanking your chain. Geoff was actually our third choice, but it turns out he and Bridgette have gone off the grid sailing around the world, so we left a voice mail and never heard back."

Cody reluctantly raised a finger. "So does..."

"Then we wanted to see what Zeke was up to. I know he's not really what you'd call the best of the best, but we couldn't be picky. But it turns out the Canadian government found him in the Fun Zone and is currently working to restore his humanity, so he was a little busy."

"Okay," Cody groaned. "I get it, I wasn't the-"

"And then we looked into casting Chef as a contestant, but Canadian game show laws clearly state that current crew members can't compete so we had to get creative. And that's when Cody got called."

"Wow," Mike said, cringing. "That's uh… pretty embarrassing."

Cody simply looked at the ground. So much for that pep in his step that came from being a part of this stacked cast.

"Moving on, we have… Sky!" Chris pointed at the Olympic hopeful. "You've been quiet so far. What's popping?"

"Well, I love that we're in Greece so I can hone my Olympic training skills in the birthplace of the actual games, and I don't have any boyfriend drama here so… Yeah, I'm excited."

Half the cast rolled their eyes at her "boyfriend drama" remark, namely Duncan, who decided to spout off.

"Easy for you to say, toots. You only had one season to get wrapped up in that stuff. Try four of 'em."

Sky immediately cringed tried to rush out an apology. "Oh, sorry if I-"

"It's fine," Gwen said to nobody in particular. "Things happened on the show, but it's been a long time and it's a new season, so let's just agree to leave some stuff in the past, okay?"

Sky smiled and nodded. Spot on, Gwen.

"Well that sounds boooring," Chris yawned. "But thanks for reminding me that we have a game to play, Gwen. That's enough ice breaking for one day. You'll have plenty of time to get acquainted or reacquainted or unacquainted over the next few weeks. It's time to get this season rolling on the highway to Hades, because Total Drama: Clash of the Titans is about to begin."

A screen popped out of the earth and Chris whipped out a tiny remote. "The rules are the same: every episode, you'll compete in a challenge for immunity. The losers go to an elimination ceremony and vote one loser off the island. Last one standing wins the money at the end. Blah blah blah, same old same old. Only to honor this season's legendary cast, the prize money is increased. To how much will remain a mystery until the finale. In addition, you'll be living an authentic ancient Greek experience by sleeping in..." He clicked the remote and a picture appeared on the screen. "This modern day replica of an ancient Greek housing complex."

The two story structure was made of light colored mud bricks and topped with a red pottery tile roof. Shaped like a big U, it curved around a courtyard where a small well and some picnic tables sat. Along the second story, a wooden railing made sure nobody could accidentally fall over and break their neck unless they were just really really dumb.

"The men will sleep on the bottom floor known as the Andron. The women will sleep on the top floor known as the Gynaeceum. Each person gets their own room, and unlike in ancient Greece, all rooms are created equal as not to disadvantage the ladies. However, the bathroom situation is as crummy as usual, so everyone suffers equally too. But instead of our classic outhouse confessional booth, you'll be confessing your deepest thoughts in our library room, located in the back of the complex. There, you'll also find a collection of Greek myths, history, and stories to keep you entertained and maybe help you study for things you might encounter during the game, because, if you haven't guessed it already, all challenges this season are Greek themed."

Confessional

Jasmine took a seat in the library. From the view of the camera, a bookcase full of all types of literature acted as the sole backdrop for the speaker. "Okay, I never really studied Greek mythology and stuff in school, so this is gonna be a weird one for me. I'm more of an Aboriginal mythology kinda girl. Task me with naming the labors of Hercules and I'm drawing dead, but ask me to explain the mating rituals of Bunyips and I gotcha covered."

(static)

"Wow," Beth gasped, taking in the sight of all those books for the first time. "I've always wanted a library like this! I actually took a couple classes on Greek mythology in community college too, so this season is practically made for me, even if I barely passed. I just wish I had more friends here though. Owen, Cody, and Gwen are cool, and Duncan's got a heart under that cold, bad boy exterior if you catch him in a good mood, but Courtney? Alejandro? Heather? That's a triple dose of mean."

(static)

Gwen sighed dreamily. "Ah, the library. The one place on this island I can go to get away from all the toxicity." Her face suddenly went blank. "I just wish this camera wasn't here so I could get away from Chris too."

(static)

Duncan picked a book off the shelf and tossed it over his shoulder. "Pfft, as if I'm gonna spend my time reading. This place is pretty much useless to me unless there's something useful hidden around here, and knowing Chris, this is exactly where he'd think to put it. But I can't just rip the place apart yet or people'll get suspicious."

(static)

Sugar gave the camera a shrug. "I like the look of the room but… I can't read. Oh well. I guess if we ever run outta TP I got an endless supply right here."

End Confessional

Chris clicked his remote again and the big marble temple at the top of the island's peak flashed on screen. "And this is where you'll go for your elimination ceremonies, hence the name Temple Island. We couldn't get an actual Greek temple because the government doesn't really trust us with legit artifacts anymore, so we had one made to replicate the experience of ancient Greeks when they went to worship their gods and goddesses. I would show you the inside now, but I think we should leave that as a surprise." He clicked the remote again, and three items appeared on screen. "And next we have a little twist. You're familiar with the classic Invincibility Statue from past seasons, but this season, we've changed them up a little bit."

Scott and Alejandro perked up at the sound of idols while Heather grimaced.

"The first statue is of yours truly: the Chris Statue. This statue works like previous editions. You play it, and you're safe. But this time, you can only play it before I begin the safety ceremony. Once the first symbol of safety is handed out, you can't use it and if you go home with it in your pockets, too bad so sad. Consider it a nerf of what was honestly super OP."

"What a ripoff," Scott hissed. "Now you actually have to think when you use it."

"And that's why it's fun," Chris said, not happy about that interruption. "Next we have a new statue: the Chef Hatchet statue. This bad boy works just like Chris version in terms of what it does, but it can't be played on yourself, only on another person. So if you want its power for yourself, you have to hand it to someone and trust them to use it on you. Super risky, but also super hilarious if it backfires on the finder."

The third statue looked strange. In fact, it wasn't even a statue at all. It was more like a marble medallion with a lightning bolt carved into it. "And finally, we have our third power this season: the Pendant of Zeus! What it does will remain a mystery, but I promise you this: you'll want to have it as soon as possible. And as usual, all three of these little advantages are hidden somewhere on the island. No exile, no Fun Zone, no tricks. Oh, and if either idol is played, it's not re-hidden. There's a one time use policy on all three items just so nobody just spams them over and over. We good?"

The 16 competitors let out a murmur of understanding.

Confessional

Alejandro faced away from the camera, looking through that bookcase book by book. "Obviously Chris hid one of those powers in the library. It's so obvious." After a few seconds of no results, he returned the books to their proper places and took a seat. "As one of the most well known and least trusted strategists here, I find it imperative to get those statues as soon as possible. I'm no stranger when it comes to playing them, but finding one on my own? That could be troublesome. Thankfully I trust Heather to report any discoveries to me. Though can I really say I would tell her?"

(static)

Scott practically fell over laughing. "Oh… Oh wow! Chris actually put three hidden statues in the game?! He's basically rigging this for me at this point! As the resident statue sleuth, I should be able to get all three of those babies by dinner, and that's with taking time off for lunch and a mid day nap. The only problem? Al and Heather know how to find statues too, and that freaky wild couple from last season loves spending time in the woods. So the quicker those four are gone from this game, the better my odds get."

(static)

Heather looked absolutely peeved, staring dead straight into the camera. "Wow, Chris. Great. Not just one way I can get screwed, but three. Fantastsic. At least Alejandro and I are actually working together this time, so if he finds a statue, he should tell me about it lickity-split. And if he doesn't? Well, then that's ground for us to actually break up." She smirked. "Seriously, if these jokers actually think our 'exes' thing we cooked up before the season is legit, they're stupider than we thought. It's just basic strategy. People will probably target the couples first, so why put that target on your back right away?"

(static)

Sugar held the story of Theseus upside down, gnawing on her lower lip. "Nope, still don't understand a word of this stuff. Maybe I need one of them virtual story teller things. Ya think Chris would let me have one? Kinda unfair if everyone can read this crud but me."

End Confessional

"Other than that," Chris concluded. "The only things you need to know is that washing up can be done in the nearby bath house, which is definitely more private than actual Greek bath houses were back in the day, and cruddy food will be delivered to your courtyard at the allotted times every day. More twists and interesting locales may be added in the future, so keep on your toes and prepare yourselves for the unexpected. Oh, and the fancy bungalow lodge on the other side of the island is where Chef and I will stay, so if you come upon it, it's off limits. Got it? So who's ready for your first challenge?!"

A series of shocked gasps erupted from the contestants.

"Already? We aren't even in teams yet!" Shawn protested.

"Yeah, don't we need to divide us up first?" Mike asked, already feeling nervous.

"I'm fine with no teams right now," Courtney mumbled to herself.

"No teams," Chris clarified. "For now, you'll be competing as individuals in the first challenge of the season. At the end of the day, we'll have two winners, one guy and one girl, who will then be team captains."

Owen wiped the sweat from his brow. "So it's not an elimination round? Whew! I like the sound of that!"

"Oh, I never said it wasn't an elimination round, Owen," Chris retorted with a mean flair to his tone. "Because this season, every round will feature an elimination. No reward challenges, no freebies, no rest for the weary. You're all top tier players, so you can take the heat. Not to mention our schedule kinda requires it. Greece ain't fond of us being here for more than a couple weeks."

"Oh that is brutal," Cody shuddered. "That means every round will be do or die."

"Good. It's predictable," Heather countered. "At least you know someone's going home every time so you can't have a perfect plan ruined by a non-elimination round."

"Like when you almost went home in World Tour?" Gwen asked with a hint of snark. "Kinda hypocritical to say that when you only won because of dumb luck."

Heather narrowed her eyes, standing akimbo. "I never said… You know what, nobody's perfect. Duncan only won because Lindsay was too stupid to figure out how to vote but I don't see you calling him out?"

"Don't make fun of my BFFFL!" Beth snapped. "She still owned you hard back in Island and you've never been the same since!"

"And why are you calling me out?" Duncan growled, cracking his knuckles Heather's way. "What did I ever do to you?"

"Well blame Little Miss 'Leave Stuff in the Past' for picking a fight!"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Okay, you were the one who made the comment about reward challenges or whatever. I was just making a silly jab. I didn't expect it to blow up like that."

"Apologize to Lindsay!" Beth demanded. "Look in the camera and say you're sorry!"

Heather flipped her attention back to Beth. "For what? Pointing out the truth that Lindsay made a stupid mistake?" then she flipped back to Gwen. "And I was only making a point, Weird Goth Girl."

Gwen let out a fake gasp. "Oh wow, old school insults. Nice throwback."

The rest of the cast just awkwardly listened to the four way verbal smackdown going on across the line of players, unsure if they should jump in to get a piece of the action. Courtney and Alejandro seemed content with shutting the hell up and letting everyone else implode around them, Cody was ready to jump in and defend Gwen, but didn't feel like messing with Duncan and Heather at the moment, and Owen just stood there sweating and biting his lip. The more recent players were actually getting a kick out of the drama though.

Confessional

"Dang, these Island people have a ton of baggage," Sky said, tugging at her collar. "Been there, done that. Heh, I'm just glad I'm not involved in it this time."

(static)

Jasmine chuckled to herself as her eyes rolled up. "You'd think those OG blokes would know their way around that bizzo after four seasons of it, but I guess what they say about time healing all wounds is a big fat lie. Whatever, I'm just glad they're all yabberin' with each other because if you haven't noticed, they have an insane numbers advantage over the rest of us newbies. Shawn, Sky, and myself are outnumbered. So the more drama on the other side, the better."

End Confessional

"Come on, guys!" Owen begged. "We're all friends here, right?!"

The stupidity of Owen's statement actually stunned the heated Islanders into silence, just long enough for Chris to interrupt and get things moving.

"Okay okay okay, we get it, you got major baggage in play this season. I love it, I really do, but we have a challenge to play and we only have so much time in a 30 minute show. So shut it... and listen closely."

Heather and Gwen shot each other deathly glares but put the battle on hold to listen up.

"Your first challenge is based on one of the most popular Greek myths: the Maze of the Minotaur! As the story goes, King Minos of Crete was told to sacrifice his prize bull to the god Poseidon, but he got all stingy and gave him a cruddy knock off instead. As punishment, Poseidon made Minos' wife fall in deep, nasty interspecies love with the prized bull, thus creating the Minotaur who was then imprisoned in the maze under the palace because he was super ugly and nobody loved him. Now obviously the story never happened and the maze was just a legend, but that doesn't mean we can't make it a reality."

"Oh heck no!" Owen screamed. "You are not setting a bull loose on me! No way, Chris! I'm an innocent young man!"

"Uh, gross. I think he's talking about the maze, dude," Duncan said.

"Ohhhhh," Owen droned on. "That makes more sense. Thanks, Duncan."

Chris cringed. "Thanks for the nightmare fuel, Owen. But Duncan is correct. For the first challenge of Total Drama: Clash of the Titans, you'll be going down into the maze we've constructed below the island to find the Minotaur's treasure in the central chamber. Once you find the treasure, and you'll know what it is when you find it because it's gold and shiny like all good treasure should be, make your way back to the surface and find me to win. As I said, the first man and the first woman back will become team captains. And to make you really fight for it, those captains will be immune at the first elimination ceremony they attend with their team."

"And when does the whole 'every round is an elimination round' thing come into play?" Sky asked, nervous about how someone could be eliminated without teams in play this early.

"Glad you asked, Sky. Just as the first guy and girl out win the challenge, the last guy and girl out are tonight's big losers." Chris listened to the sound of horrified young adult gasps and let it fuel him. "Yeah, exactly how I thought you'd react. And I'm not joking. The last man and woman out with the treasure are out of the game. No vote, no ceremony, no place on a team, nada, squat, zilch. It's the biggest season ever and it's starting with the biggest bang ever. Anyways, the maze entrance is a short jog right behind me. Good luck, get set, and GO! Clash of the Titans is on!"

The crowd of 16 bolted past Chris as the host side stepped out of the way. It would be a long few weeks, and in the end, one of them would be crowned a winner and receive the biggest prize in Total Drama history. But first they had to survive Day 1 of the game, and already the pace was at a breakneck speed. Two people going home was about the worst thing any of them could possibly hear on the first day, and the momentous pressure of that promise pushed them to go for the gold.

Immediately, small bands started to form by instinct. It was a maze after all, and anyone with a brain would know that sticking together in a larger group was the smart move. Not only did it give you an advantage in brain count, but for some it was a way of providing themselves with sacrificial lambs they could beat out if it came down to a last second foot race to the finish line. Getting lost alone would clearly be an early death sentence.

But not everyone saw it that way. Some just wanted to work with the people they liked, ignoring any strategic benefits.

"Alright," Jasmine said, sticking close with Sky and Shawn. "The three of us stick together and never split up. We're outnumbered, and we need to make sure none of us go home first, or we're all screwed. Got it?"

"Got it!" Sky said, stretching her arm to give the Aussie giantess a high five.

It wasn't long before Courtney, who just happened to be jogging through the shrubbery nearby, veered over to their side and proposed an offer. "Oh hey guys, first time meeting you all. Um, so how would you feel about working together in this challenge? You know, because four heads are better than three obviously."

Shawn, Jasmine, and Sky shared the same look and returned the same answer. "Nah, we're good."

Courtney's eye twitched as she fell behind, leaving the Pahkitew trio to run ahead.

Confessional

"Great," Courtney groaned. "So much for teaming up with Pahkitew crew. They didn't even give me the time of day! But whatever, it's not the end of the world. I'm a perfect teammate and someone will see that… eventually."

(static)

Shawn scratched his head through his beanie. "Yeah, that Courtney chick's the last person we'd want in our group other than like Sugar. Not because more people means more chance of someone catching a bad case of the zombie flu and biting us all… Okay, that is a good reason, but it's because she's a bonafide traitor, liar, deceiver, trickster, backstabber... you name it. We've all seen the show before, and we all know that chick's nuts!"

End Confessional

"For old times sake?" Cody asked Gwen, offering a handshake. "Nothing weird, just two friends trying not to get eliminated first."

"Deal," Gwen said, taking the scrawny little hand.

"Mind if we join?" Mike asked the goth girl with Zoey at his side.

"No problem," Gwen said. "We got this. All-Star power trio for the win, I guess."

"And me?" Cody added.

"Oops, sorry," Gwen winced. "You too."

Cody seemed a little dejected. He hadn't been close with Gwen since World Tour on account of the distance thing and Cody not wanting to be pushy or invasive. But he still cared about Gwen as a friend and was happy he had at least one person in the cast he could trust a hundred percent with all the snakes and rats running around.

Speaking of snakes and rats, Alejandro and Heather led the pack by a great distance. They stayed close during the race to the maze despite the rumor of their break up suggesting they'd do otherwise.

"Remember," Alejandro told her. "We must maintain the facade. So this temporary partnership is based simply on familiarity. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Exactly," Heather agreed. "And we might want to throw in a little drama to keep them convinced."

"Great idea, chica," Alejandro said, feeling mischievous in the moment. "I suppose you wouldn't mind taking one for the team?"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Heather asked, her viperous eyes narrowing with every word that left her lips.

"I mean, you yell at me, very rudely in fact, to boost sympathy in my favor. You have more trust with these people than I do with four seasons under your belt. You can bounce back socially with ease. I sadly cannot as my relationships aren't as developed."

"So you want me to act like a jerk and tank my social game for you? Sorry, but that ain't happening. But nice try though."

Confessional

Heather rolled her eyes, tapping her fingers on her leg. "Alejandro is such a weasel. It's why I love the man, but like, it's the biggest prize in Total Drama history. The last time I won, I got robbed of my money and walked away with stupid bragging rights. This time, I'm taking the cash home too, and if it means letting my boyfriend take the fall at some point, so be it. When I win, he'll be groveling at my feet for the spoils of war and I'll be loving every second of it."

End Confessional

A few stragglers from the group managed to come together in some weird, hodgepodge, patchwork quilt of a temporary alliance. Beth and Sugar, both being farm-raised girls with a thing for cute stuff, pigs, and glitter, hit it off immediately. Owen and Duncan had no qualms with each other and decided to team up like the good old Island days. Then somewhere along the way, both duos came together by nature, if only to increase their odds of survival. And then you had Lightning, who decided to tag along uninvited for one reason.

Confessional

"Lightning's never been so good with mazes," the alpha jock explained. "Ever since I was a kid, I've always sucked at 'em, even on paper. But Lightning is good at running, so all he needs to do is stick with the people he can outrun at the end. Duncan's got low riding pants so he'll just trip on himself, and the others are all flabby and out of shape. They take Lightning to the treasure, Lighting takes the lead, and Lightning sha-wins! And the best part is they haven't even figured out my master plan. Sha-victory is gonna be sweet!"

(static)

"So it's pretty clear what Lightning's doing," Duncan said. "Of course the big, strong athlete works with the fattest, most out of shape people on the island so he can outrun them when it counts. Not sure he knows that we know, but hey, it's the smartest strategy he's ever had in three seasons so I'll give the dude some credit. Way to use your brain cell."

End Confessional

Courtney had a last minute idea of working with Sugar, but Beth's inclusion in Sugar's new posse made it a worthless endeavor. Owen was always an option too, but then he joined Duncan and she was not touching that can of worms yet. But there was one other person without any allies. It wasn't her first, second, third, or even tenth choice, but she couldn't help but consider it when he approached her.

"So, Courtney," Scott said, jogging up alongside her like a nasty, old boat docking at a pier. "How goes it?"

"Oh no," Courtney hissed to herself. "Oh, Scott. What, uh… What a surprise." She just got it over with to get the awkwardness out of the way. "You're not still mad about the chart, are you?"

Scott smirked. "Oh the chart? Nah, I'm not mad about the chart. I'm just mad about the rat tail you gave me. But I forgive you, if only because you got what you deserved and lost to me, flush-city style. But I'm over it. New game, right?"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "I'm never gonna live that chart debacle down, but it's nice to know you don't hate my guts anymore. I need allies and honestly, you do too. Even if it's just for one challenge to stay in the game, we need each other."

Scott scratched his chin, rubbing off some flakes of dead skin much to Courtney's chagrin. "Hmmm, lemme think about it." A few seconds passed and Scott let out the answer he always knew he'd give. "You're on."

Confessional

Scott sat tall and proud in the library confessional room, feeling like a Greek god himself. "Feels good to be wanted around these parts if I do say so myself. Truth is..." He suddenly lost his composure and slouched in place. "I still have some feelings for Courtney. She wasn't that bad, and it's not like I can fault her for trying to win after coming up short so many times. And she did want to take me to the final two last time so it's not like she betrayed me super hard or anything. I just didn't like the rat tail!" He quickly regained his composure. "But I'm not gonna let her back into my life that easily. She's gotta earn it by proving I can trust her not to go off the rails again like she does in every damn season she's in. I fancy myself a crazy lady, but not one that'll knife your back to get a free jar of peach preserves if ya know what I mean."

(static)

"So Scott isn't my first choice, but I'll take it." Courtney seemed to regret saying that, but what was done was done and her fate was sealed. "There was no way I'd run that maze alone with everyone else teaming up. It's just too risky when two people are going home. Anyways, I honestly do like Scott. I still do. But I just don't want to let the past come back to haunt me again. I thought my problems with Gwen were resolved last season, and then I made the stupid mistake of thinking I could just play the game my way from there on out and she'd understand. Whatever happens this time, I can't make the same mistake again. I just can't. I won't."

End Confessional

Alejandro and Heather reached the entrance to the Maze of the Minotaur well ahead of the pack. Carved into a rock wall deep in the forest, the entrance was a tall archway topped by an angry bull's head staring down at those who entered, placed there as if to warn treasure-hungry intruders of just what waited for them under the island.

Gwen, Mike, Zoey, and Cody entered second, followed by Shawn, Sky, and Jasmine. Owen, Duncan, Sugar, Beth, and Lightning ran in a five way tie for fourth, leaving Scott and Courtney to haplessly wander in dead last on account of their slow jogging alliance talk.

Upon entering the catacombs, Alejandro and Heather were faced with three pathways to choose from: left, right, and center. A rack of 16 torches sat along the wall, so the two villains grabbed their light sources and looked ahead.

"Ugh," Heather groaned. "I hope more than one of these leads to the treasure. I don't want to waste time exploring one side if it's all dead ends."

"An excellent point," Alejandro chimed in, stroking his soul patch. "But you know what they say about mazes, no?"

"That they suck?"

"To always follow the right side of the wall," he clarified. "As long as we keep up a steady pace, we'll reach the center ahead of the others even if it's not a straight shot. If others have the same idea, we're basically guaranteed to not be eliminated."

"Smart move," Heather said with an appreciative smile as she and her boyfriend jogged down the passageway on the right.

A couple minutes later, Cody and the All-Stars trio grabbed their torches.

"Maybe we should follow the right side of the wall," Cody suggested, pointing his flame down the same corridor Alejandro and Heather had taken.

"Maybe," Zoey said. "But it could be risky if everyone decides to do that, right?"

"And Chris could have rigged the maze against that strategy with booby traps," Mike added, looking carefully where he stepped in case there was some pressure plate nearby. "We should just take the center path."

"Yeah, center's probably our best bet," Gwen said, a little antsy about the whole underground element of the challenge. Despite her last underground adventure and the win she earned in that challenge, she still wasn't too welcoming to the idea of being buried alive, especially in a tunnel that had clearly been dug out by Chris.

And so the four of them marched down the center passageway, with Cody looking pretty dejected about his idea being shot down immediately. But he quickly snapped out of his funk when he saw Gwen trembling in the torchlight and felt like he had to comfort her.

"Hey, Gwen, still not a fan of being-"

And then Gwen quietly snapped at him. "Don't even say it, Cody. Just don't. I don't even want to think about it right now. Please. I'm serious."

The geek raised a finger, but pondered his words and decided to stay silent if that's what Gwen wanted.

Confessional

Cody slouched in his seat, posing like The Thinker if the iconic statue was scrawny and pathetic. He let out a long, sad sigh. "I teamed up with Gwen thinking we'd be this iconic duo, but to have my idea shot down and get shushed in the first five minutes of the challenge is just lame. But if it's what she wants, I'll go along with it."

End Confessional

Shawn, Jasmine, and Sky took their torches and casually decided to take the left passageway, if only because it seemed the most roomy and Jasmine's claustrophobia was acting up again.

"Get the treasure, win the challenge, get out," Jasmine repeated to herself, holding Shawn's hand for comfort. "Get the treasure, win the challenge, get out. Get the treasure, win the challenge, get out."

"That's it, Jaz," Shawn said. "Just keep focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel and we'll be out in no time."

Back at the start of the maze, the fabulous five-some arrived.

"Ah nuts!" Sugar yelped. "Not another cave challenge!"

Duncan brushed past the country gal and grabbed a torch. "Speak for yourself. I've always wanted to do one of these spelunking challenges, but Chris didn't make them a recurring thing until Season 4 and I just missed out."

"Nah, man," said Lightning. "You don't wanna be part of these. The last time Lightning was underground, he got ravaged by giant gophers and junk. Not cool!"

"I don't know," Beth said. "This maze seems pretty safe compared to the toxic mine you guys had to mess with."

"Yeah," Owen added, walking around the open area. "I don't know what you have to worry about this time. It's not like Chris just rigged the place with booby traps or-"

Click.

Owen froze and looked down. There, sitting under his foot, was a pressure plate. "Uh, guys. I think Chris rigged the place with booby traps."

"Oh come on!" came a voice from behind the group. It was Scott, who just grabbed his own torch in time to see Owen possibly dooming them all.

Courtney walked up behind the farm boy with torch in hand. "Owen, don't move."

"But if I don't move I'll get eliminated!" Owen yelped. Sweat poured down his face to soak his collar. This was truly the most terrifying moment of the season for him so far. And it was only fifteen minutes in.

"And if you do move, you die," Scott sneered. "And we might die too!" Truth be told, Scott didn't actually think the trap was that dangerous. He just wanted to freak out the competition and the weak-minded Owen was a perfect candidate.

"I-I can't handle the pressure!" Owen screamed, taking his foot off the plate and running down the passageway on the right with a loud "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Everyone braced for impact, but… nothing happened. The plate simply clicked back into its previous position as if nothing had even happened.

Sugar walked up to the tile and stared down at it. "Huh? False alarm I guess. That sure was disappointing! I wanted to see an explosion!"

Somewhere back in Chris' command center, the host watched the action unfolding on several security camera screens. In his hand was a large remote with dozens of buttons and switches. Upon hearing Sugar's disappointment, he let out a sinister cackle. "Oh ho ho, don't worry, Sugar. That can be arranged."

He clicked the first button on his remote and watched with eyes glued to the screen.

On cue, the tile exploded, sending a cloud of smoke and dust right into Sugar's face. The rest of the group screamed and huddled behind the empty torch rack for safety, but when it was clear the only danger was a smoke bomb, they quickly regained their composure to check on their fellow competitor. Sugar wasn't in bad shape, but her face was covered in soot and her hair had been blown up like some cheap, low-budget, spiky Marge Simpson wig.

"Oh crap, are you okay, Sugar?!" Beth asked. "That was a direct hit!"

Sugar coughed out a large amount of ash and smoke. "Uh yeah. I'm fine. But Chris won't be when I get my hands on his little chicken neck! I'm gonna wring that sucker hard for messin' up my premiere day glamour!"

"Whatever," Duncan said dismissively as he walked towards the passage on the right. "We just need to find Owen before he sets off every trap in the place."

"Or," Lighting said, grabbing Duncan by the shoulder. "We could let Tubby Boy off go off on his own so he doesn't cost us the game. Lightning ain't gonna carry no dead weight and you shouldn't either! I say we take another path and let him figure it out himself."

"That's kinda mean," Beth mumbled, tapping her fingers together. "But it does make sense strategically. This is the biggest season ever so… maybe we should be a little more eyes on the prize-y right now."

"Sha-xactly!" Lightning cheered. "See, even Beth knows it's the right move."

Sugar was too dazed to oppose and probably wouldn't care about Owen anyways, leaving Duncan to side with the majority. "Fine, but if Owen blows up this maze, don't say I didn't try and stop him. And wait a second? Where did Scott and Courtney go?!"

The group looked around and realized they'd been deserted and left in last place. All Duncan could do was groan.

Confessional

Duncan simply shook his head. "So yeah, the challenge is a mess. First we lose Owen, then Sugar gets blasted in the face with a bomb, and then those two weasels sneak ahead of us in the confusion! I actually wanted to work with some people this time since the whole bad boy solo player thing didn't exactly get me the win my last two seasons, but maybe I should just leave these losers behind if they're gonna hold me back this much."

End Confessional

Alejandro and Heather kept up the pace along the right wall. Things were going smoothly. That is, until Chris decided to throw a spanner into the works for the two of them. Another button was pushed…

Without warning, the floor in front of Heather opened up and she fell into the pit. Alejandro couldn't catch himself in time and fell in after her. Both let out hilarious screams as they splashed into… something.

"Nice going!" Heather whined, feeling something sticky on her entire body.

Alejandro grimaced as his perfect style was ruined, but took more offensive to Heather's accusation. "Excuse me, but how is this my fault?!"

"Uh, clearly you stepped on some kind of trap, because I sure didn't," Heather said, poking her boyfriend in the forehead.

"And clearly you require glasses because you were the one ahead of me, so therefore, you would be in the position to set off this trap full of..." Alejandro took the time to sniff the sticky substance. "Yogurt?"

Heather wiped the yogurt off her face and grabbed her torch, which had thankfully landed right side up and hadn't been extinguished unlike Alejandro's. "Well it doesn't matter who triggered it, because now we're both covered in this stuff and falling behind. Now boost me out of here!"

Alejandro glared at Heather, but couldn't hate that beautiful face forever. He positioned himself against the wall and gave Heather a boost. The queen of mean launched herself up to the other side of the pit and pulled herself up before reaching down to pull her sticky boyfriend out of the sweet muck.

"Wow, you guys sure did have a bad break up, huh?"

Al and Heather snapped back to see Owen standing on the opposite side of the pit, out of breath.

"Owen, what are you doing here?" growled a sticky, unhappy Heather. "I thought you were with those other losers?"

"I was, but I stepped on a pressure plate and made a run for it," the fat boy explained. "It's not like I wanted to leave them behind, but my fight or flight instinct just kicked in."

"Wonderful," Alejandro mumbled. "So Chris does have more traps lined up for us. Go figure."

Owen caught the scent of the pit and smiled. "Oh hey, is that Greek yogurt? I love that stuff. I could help you guys clean off if you help me get across."

Alejandro, cringing at the image of being licked down by a hungry, sweaty Owen, immediately replied with a stern "Nope, I'm good." He and Heather left the scene as fast as possible, leaving Owen to throw his hands up in protest.

"Hey, wait for me! I don't wanna be alone down here with all the booby traps!"

He attempted to leap across the moat of yogurt but slammed against the far side and plopped down in the pit with a splash.

"Owie."

Meanwhile, across the maze, Scott and Courtney had taken the left passageway and found themselves trailing behind the Pahkitew trio from afar, their eyes locked firmly on the torchlight down the tunnels ahead. The light guided them through the offshoots and turns and whatnot, largely due to Courtney's idea of tagging behind the two people in the cast with the best survival instincts. If anyone could solve a maze by reading air currents or some shit like that, it was Shawn and Jasmine. And as a bonus, if the light started coming back towards Courtney and Scott, they'd know it was a dead end and could take the lead on three strong players.

But it didn't mean they couldn't have a quiet chat.

"So yeah, that explains it pretty much," Courtney finished in whisper.

"Huh..." Scott mumbled with a thousand yard stare. "I never knew that about chicks. Kinda weird, but… huh… I might have to throw up when I get out of this maze because… wow."

"Anyways, enough girl talk. Let's talk game while we're alone."

"Yeah, good call."

"So basically I feel totally alone in this cast," Courtney started. "Except for you of course."

Scott put on a suave expression. "Well I am a total charmer with the ladies and- ow!"

Courtney pulled her elbow out of Scott's side. "Cut the flirty chit-chat and listen. Please. We might not get this chance to talk in private again."

"Alright, fine," the dirt farmer replied. "Just spill it."

Courtney made sure the light from the Pahkitew trio's torches was still visible ahead as they rounded a corner. "Okay, so I think I have a plan."

"I'm listening."

"See, half this cast is from the original cast. That leaves eight people from the new casts, yourself included. I don't have the best relationships with those older players and even some of the newer ones like Mike and Zoey, so it's in my best interest to get my old bad blood out as soon as possible. And how do I do that? By uniting all the newbies against the old schoolers, myself not included because I'm the free agent. So what you and I need to do, since we actually get along somewhat, is to work to get the Pahkitew Island cast and the Revenge of the Island cast on the same page. If they think the old schoolers, again, not including me because I'm not loyal to them, are united by their long term bonds and several seasons of competing together, then they can come together as a solid unit and take out Gwen, Duncan, Heather, Beth, and Alejandro back to back. Then we can worry about Mike and Zoey, but after that, we run the game and the only old schoolers left are Owen and Cody, who aren't threats in this group, Lightning, who's dumb as a box of rocks, and the trainwreck Pahkitew Island players who'll implode with time. Then it's a straight shot to the final two. Any questions?"

Scott zoned back in. "Oh, what? Sorry, I kinda got distracted. That stuff you said earlier messed my brain up."

Courtney facepalmed. "Okay, well here's the Zapnotes version: the old schoolers have the numbers, but I don't like a lot of them and they don't like me. We use the new schoolers to get them out and run the game until we're the final two. Catch all that?"

"Okay yeah I got it," Scott said. The dirt farmer let out a quiet chortle. "Man, it feels good to be playing with a plan again. All-Stars was fun and all, but I was playing with house money and just had too much fun for my own good. Good times though. Good times."

Courtney just stared at Scott with a blank, tired expression. "Yeah, I can totally relate."

Down the center path, Cody, Gwen, Mike, and Zoey stuck together. A few dead ends had cost them some time, but overall, they were making quick work of the maze. Until Chris got bored of watching them that is. A button clicked from far, far away and another trap was sprung.

Mike sensed the danger as the dust fell from the ceiling and looked up. With him and Zoey ahead of Gwen and Cody, he shoved the latter two back with a "Look out!" as a massive wall shot down from the ceiling, blocking the passageway between the two duos.

Gwen hit the ground with Cody on top of her, but threw him off as soon as she got her bearings and beat on the stone wall. "Hey, Mike, Zoey! Are you okay?!"

Zoey, nearly dead from the shock of the thud, caught her breath and spoke through the wall. "Yeah, we're okay. Just… a little shook, that's all. Are you guys okay?"

Cody wobbled to his feet. "Uh, I think so. But we're gonna have to backtrack and find another route. Just go on without us. We're gonna be okay."

"Are you sure?!" Gwen panicked, grabbing Cody by the shirt and getting up in his face. "We might be trapped forever! If the walls are closing us in here, we're not gonna make it out! We're gonna run out of air! We're gonna suffocate! We're gonna choke on our own exhaust and-"

"Gwen, snap out of it!" Cody shouted, shaking some sense back into her. "It's just a challenge. And this maze isn't even scary. It's just something Chris cooked up in a week and stocked with traps to scare us. He can't actually kill us on air or the lawsuits would drown him in paperwork."

Gwen took a couple deep breaths and nodded. "O-okay. I trust you."

Cody smiled and walked back to the wall. "Go on without us. We'll find another way to the treasure! Just stay safe over there!"

"Got it!" came the couple, their voices muffled. The sounds of steps faded, leaving Cody and Gwen all alone with only their torches to guide them.

"I saw a couple paths a few minutes back," Cody said, leading the way back from where they'd come from. "One of those should lead to the treasure unless the maze is unsolvable."

"Yeah, good idea," Gwen wheezed with a shudder.

Confessional

"You know, TDI me would have seen this challenge a whole lot differently," said Cody. "I would've been stoked to be stuck alone with a hot goth babe, with her relying on me to save the day. But Clash of the Titans me can only think about making sure Gwen's okay and not dying of a heart attack. Living around Sierra all the time really showed me what real friendship is all about. And it's not about sniffing someone's shoelace through your nostrils or stealing someone's bra."

End Confessional

Duncan, Beth, Sugar, and Lightning walked down the center path, but had taken a turn early on which led them to a pathway going uphill at a slight angle. Things were going pretty smoothly, apart from the trap Chris decided to spring on them of course.

"So you got a pig too?" Sugar asked Beth. "Darn, we gotta get 'em on a piggy play date some time!"

"Yeah, her name is Big Bertha," the nerdy farm girl added. "I raised her as a piglet and she's basically the sibling I never had."

"We talkin' pets back there?" Lightning asked. "Because y'all should see my dog sometime. His name's Rocky and he's the best boxer you'd ever wanna have. Been with me for ten years and countin' and he can still bite like a total sha-beast."

Duncan snickered. "Dude, you didn't just go for the most cliché name for a boxer ever. You have to be joking."

"Nope," Lighting scoffed. "Lightning's a huge Rocky fan. Pops was super into sports movies growing up and got me hooked too. So I named my dog after the greatest movie sports hero ever!"

"You named him Waterboy?" Sugar asked.

Lightning looked utterly offended and stopped in his tracks. "Excuse me! What did you just say?!"

Duncan didn't really care to stop for the argument so he just kept walking.

Sugar didn't really pay much attention to Lighting waxing poetic about his dog, so she didn't really get what the dude was so angry about. "Uh, I thought you said the greatest sports movie hero ever? You ain't talkin' about the Waterboy? With that one dude? And the teacher who looked like the fried chicken guy?"

"Hell no, farm girl!" Lightning shouted, waving his torch around furiously. "Don't even think about calling your redneck garbage as good as Rocky! Did your trash ever win awards? I don't think so!"

"It won somethin' I'm pretty sure!" Sugar argued back. "Just cause you're a big ol' city boy don't mean you got the monopoly on good movies!"

Beth awkwardly watched the two fight it out, unsure if she should break it up or not.

Confessional

"Okay, so I didn't know Lightning was such a film buff," Beth began. "Or that Sugar had such good taste! I mean, I love a good classic, but sometimes a silly comedy is just what you want to watch."

(static)

"Stupid Sugar," Lightning growled, his arms crossed defiantly. "She wouldn't know a good movie if the Lightning sha-sliced her throat with the DVD..." He winced. "Was that too dark? Yeah, maybe it was. Lightning's gotta work on that. He's here to win, and killin' the competition ain't the way to do it."

(static)

"That city boy's full of it," Sugar huffed, her arms crossed just like Lightning's. "He ain't some big ol' movie master or whatever he thinks he is. He's just a dumbo jock who likes movies with balls and punchin' stuff."

(static)

Duncan just stared dead in the lens. "Morons."

End Confessional

Just as Sugar and Lightning were about to reach their peak anger, Duncan's scream erupted from down the dark tunnel and the delinquent ran by. "Ruuuuun!"

Beth, Sugar, and Lightning let the punk dash through and turned to see what the rush was about. And then, from out of the dark, a giant boulder rolled down the incline, picking up speed as it went along.

"Oh crud!" Sugar cried. "Mohawk boy's right! Run for yer lives!"

Beth and Sugar ran off screaming, but Lightning stood his ground. "Nuh uh! No way is a dumb rock gonna stop the Lightning from getting the win. Get ready rock, cause you're about to feel the sha-thunder!"

Lightning ran headfirst, arms out at the boulder and collided with it, intending for his brute strength to hold it back. And…

"That's a good time to pause," Chris said, freezing the footage from his little hideout. "Will Lightning be a human pancake? Will Cody and Gwen hook up in the confines of a spoopy maze? Will Courtney's big game plan actually work this time? Find out after the break on Total Drama: Clash of the Titans!"

The boulder actually stopped. Sure, the soles of Lightning's sneakers got burned down to nothing, but the boulder eventually came to a stop against the wall of muscle.

"Whoa, nice going, man!" Duncan cheered. "That was a close one!"

"My hero!" Beth swooned, her hands clasped together under her chin.

"Oh pfft, I could've done that in my sleep," Sugar grunted.

Lightning slowly pushed the boulder back up the incline inch by inch. "Come on, y'all. No way is this thing not protecting something good. Sha-push!"

Beth and Duncan joined the jock in his feat of strength with Sugar begrudgingly helping out as well. She didn't get the glory, but she was still in a race to stay in the game and she was determined to make it past the first episode. Sugar was never going to let herself be a first boot. Never.

"Just a little longer," Shawn told Jasmine. "We'll get the treasure in no time."

"Yeah, just stay focused on the fire and how warm it is… not how you're underground in a maze that might drop a trap on us at any moment." Sky plucked a dart of out her butt cheek and threw it off to the side. "Oh, Shawn, you still got one in your beanie."

Shawn reached up and pulled the dart out with ease. "Huh, didn't even feel it back there. Thank god for my brain shield!"

Sky raised an eyebrow. "Brain… shield?"

"Oh yeah, you didn't know," Shawn said with a light laugh. "I rigged the inside of my beanie with a layer of steel so the government's zombie rays can't penetrate my noggin and infect me! Pretty cool, huh?"

Sky's eyebrow didn't lower. If anything it raised even higher. "Right..."

"I wanted to get an implant in my skull but my parents said I'd have to wait until I turn 18, so I'm on a waiting list. But the doc says I'll be the first one to get it. Granted, I have to win this season to afford it since the last million went towards building my bunker and upgrading my equipment."

"Wait, you spent it already?!" Sky asked. Now both eyebrows were shooting through the roof. "It's only been-"

"Yeah, I blew through it fast. A million after taxes isn't that much, and I shared some with my girlfriend here to help her flower shop fighting school thingy." He playfully poked Jasmine in the ribs and she jumped.

"Oh, yeah!" she said, her body jerking from the shock. "That idea fell flat so I'm uh… I feel kinda guilty I guess. Oh well, at least I'm back for another lump of moolah… by… going underground… in a tight space… again."

Confessional

Sky looked grumpy as hell as she started her confessional. A big mood, and not a good one. "So let me get this straight… Shawn took his million dollars, lost half of it to taxes, actually wasted part of it on a stupid zombie bunker that will never come in handy, and wasted the rest on Jasmine's awful flower fighting school idea? I mean, even Sugar would have used the money better than that for her weird animal makeup thing. Hell, even Scarlett would have used it better even if that meant her becoming a world dictator. Even if it's a crazy goal, at least it serves an actual purpose I guess."

She felt herself getting heated and tried to keep it down, but she couldn't help herself. It was private anyways, so it didn't really matter. "I don't want to say that I'm bitter about losing the money to Shawn… but you know what, maybe I am. Maybe I do want to beat the guy just so he doesn't waste even more money to get some stupid metal plate in his skull. And is that even legal? Is his doctor even a real doctor?! I want answers!"

End Confessional

By now, the whole cast had taken different routes through the maze. It was anyone's game it seemed, until one group reached the Minotaur's lair first thanks to the power of editing cutting out all the boring stuff along the way.

"Finally," Heather gasped upon seeing the maze open up.

Alejandro followed closely behind and got a good look at the lair. It was a pretty roomy area with a stone ledge in the back. There was the treasure: 16 goblets of gold just waiting to be taken. But in the middle was the Minotaur himself, aka Chef Hatchet wearing a shoddy bull fursuit, asleep on a recliner with a huge battle ax laid across his lap.

"Well that's about as low-budget as expected," Heather said. "Talk about a let down."

"We must be quiet, chica," Alejandro said. "Chef is known for being a light sleeper and any noise would surely wake him from his slumber and-"

"OH HEY GUYS!" Owen shouted, popping up right behind them, still covered in yogurt. "I tried to catch up but you guys were so fast!"

Chef's snoring ceased and he quickly woke up, ax in hand and looking around. "Wha-what was that?! Mama?! Did you bring me the… Huh… Guess it was just the wind." And back to sleep he went.

Alejandro and Heather had quickly snagged Owen and dragged him into the shadows, their hands locked over his mumbling lips.

As soon as they released him, he spoke in a whisper. "Sorry you guys, I didn't know we were playing the quiet game."

"Owen, get out of here," Alejandro hissed. "We got here first."

"Yeah, back of the line," Heather added.

The chubby boy licked a bit of spare yogurt from his arm. "Sorry guys, all the sugar in this yogurt has me all hyped up. You want a lick?" He dabbed a finger in the yogurt on his pants and held it up for any takers. Dead silence and ever deader glares gave him all the answers he needed. "No? More for me then." With a disgustingly long reach of his tongue, he licked the sugary paste off his finger before Heather and Al slapped him upside the head.

Mike and Zoey felt totally lost. A couple dead ends had left them confused and disoriented, but at least they were together. At least that's what they told themselves.

"I just want to know who set off that trap," Mike said, holding the torch and squinting his eyes to see ahead. "I'd feel horrible if it was us who cost Gwen and Cody the game this early."

"Especially Gwen," Zoey sighed. "I still feel bad about how she went out in All-Stars. Not that I'd want to go to the finale with anyone but you of course, but she totally deserved a spot and got screwed by Chris' vanity."

"You don't feel as bad for Cody though?" Mike asked, keeping his girlfriend at his side with a shoulder around her waist. "The guy is really chill and clearly wants to prove he belongs here. Going out first because a door literally slammed in his face would be so brutal, he might not live it down. Ever."

"Well yeah, but… I don't really feel like Cody fits in with the rest of the cast," Zoey said. She didn't want to say it to be perfectly honest, but it just slipped out. Privacy with your boyfriend is the ultimate truth serum after all. "I don't want to be mean, but like, wasn't he just carried by Sierra when he made it far? He was incapacitated for a whole challenge, remember?"

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. I just know I liked him on the show. Us awkward romantics have to stick up for each other. And if he's super bummed about going home first, I have a couple therapists I could recommend."

"That you do," Zoey giggled.

Confessional

"It's been weird since All-Stars," Mike said. "I thought I got rid of my personalities with the reset button, but it turns out my therapist said it was impossible. But I feel just fine, so she said I might have just repressed those guys for a while and that they could just pop out at any time under the right situation, so I don't know. I was actually pretty freaked out for a few months, but I haven't heard a peep in the ol' noggin since the finale so… I think I'm good? Maybe?"

End Confessional

Gwen took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "I think I'm okay."

"Take your time, Gwen," Cody said, comforting his friend in the torchlight with a hand to the shoulder. "If you need to take another breath-break, just let me know. It's totally fine… Even under the pressures of being eliminated first without getting a chance to unpack."

"I'm just glad you aren't mad," Gwen said with a shudder. "I figured you'd be all like 'Gwen, stop freaking out or we'll get eliminated!' and stuff."

Cody smirked. "Inside? Yeah, I kinda do feel like that. But I'd rather go home first than leave you to die in a creepy, booby-trapped maze. It's what friends are for, you know?"

Just as the duo turned a corner, another torchlight came upon them and suddenly Duncan, Lightning, Sugar, and Beth were standing inches away.

"Oh hey guys!" Beth shouted, rattling the walls of the maze to the shock of all six players. So she decided to whisper instead. "Okay, maybe we should quiet down."

"Are you okay, Gwen?" Duncan asked, holding up the torch to get a better look at her already pale but more pale than usual face. "I know you aren't a fan of being buried alive and junk and this is pretty close to-"

"I'm fine, Duncan," Gwen mumbled. "Cody's made sure I don't go into shock, which... wouldn't be ideal right now. So yeah, fine."

"Wait, you mean Cody manned up for his queen? Not bad, simp," Duncan said, elbowing the lanky geek in the shoulder to his annoyance.

Cody recoiled and narrowed his eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Have you guys found the treasure yet?"

"Nope," Sugar interrupted. "As you can see by our lack of treasure, we ain't found sh-"

"Sha-nothing!" came Lightning, if only to make sure Sugar couldn't finish her sentence. It's what people with bad taste in films deserve of course.

Sugar huffed and crossed her arms. "Yeah. Shuuuuuh-nothin."

Gwen didn't really know what to say to that exchange, but she did have words for Duncan though. "Well first of all, Cody and I are just friends so no need to push buttons. And second of all, maybe we should work together and get to the end of this challenge so none of us go home. We've already explored a few dead end paths, so we should be able to find the right one in no time."

"Sha-greed," Lightning said.

"Can't argue with that logic," said Beth.

Duncan shrugged. "Cool with me."

And so the two groups combined into one. Though one person didn't seem so pleased.

Confessional

Cody rubbed his tired eyes. "Great, just when I feel like Gwen and I are chill and making progress, Duncan decides to show up and make it awkward. Gwen herself said we should leave stuff from past seasons in the past, but all he wanted to do was dig it up. Not cool. Sure, I do still like Gwen, but I can move on, I swear! Duncan on the other hand? Dude's just dwelling in the past all day so much he's swimming in it. If there was a way to make sure he went home first, I'd make it happen. But at this point, I don't have much of a choice." He paused for a few seconds to ponder his thoughts and sighed. "Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic."

End Confessional

Another torch light fused with the light of the Minotaur's lair as Sky, Shawn, and Jasmine reached their goal. It was a long, dark, and unnerving time for them all, but despite Jasmine's fears, they'd made good time and saw that no treasure had been taken yet.

"Okay, so Chef's taking a nap," Sky started. "That means we might be able to sneak by without being detected, grab those goblets, and get out the way we came. Shawn and I are experts at stealth, so we should probably be the ones to grab the treasure unless there's some rule about needing to grab your own piece that Chris didn't tell us about. Jasmine, I know you're not in the best frame of mind right now, so if you stay here, that might work out for us if it's okay with you."

Jasmine looked into the lair and saw how open it was. She wanted so desperately to get out there and feel like herself, but she also knew Shawn and Sky were the best suited for the task. So she nodded. "G-go for it."

"Alright," Shawn said. "Then one of us should act us a diversion just in case ol' beefy butt out there stops counting sheep and starts counting our heads instead."

"I'm an athlete and you're self-taught in stealth, so that's probably my job," Sky whispered, fist bumping the zombie bro with a slightly forced smile.

Jasmine watched the two fists collide and weakly smiled. "Uh, yeah… G'luck guys. And be safe, Shawn. Please."

"No prob, Bob," Shawn said with a crack of his knuckles. "Now let's get some of that treasure."

As soon as the Pahkitew finalists stepped out of their tunnel, they turned to the right and saw Alejandro and Heather caught in the same position. Dead silence lasted for a few seconds until Chef's grumbling broke it like a hammer to glass.

Heather put a finger to her lips and silently shushed the newbies. Shawn and Sky returned the favor.

Jasmine and Owen watched from their respective tunnels, their eyes glued to Chef's tossing and turning furry figure on the chair. False alarm. The guy went back to sleep and all was well in the lair.

"Oh hey, Jasmine!" came a smarmy, rat-like voice from behind the Aussie Amazon. It was Scott, right on cue to ruin someone's day with Courtney by his side.

The lair shook and dust fell from the ceiling. Chef's eyes shot open and his hands gripped the ax like a vice. His lumbering form rose off the chair and towered over the pairs of finalists.

"Y'all really wanna mess with my nap like that?" Chef grumbled, the fursuit's bulky, smiling snout flopping down over his face to cast an ominous shadow.

"Run," Alejandro said, bolting past Chef and just narrowly dodging a swing from the ax. "Ay dios mio!" he screamed, feeling the impact of the blade shaking the ground.

"Don't worry, I got this!" Sky shouted, grabbing a rock off the ground and whirling it around with a windmill-esque motion of her arm.

Chef saw it coming, but also saw Shawn making a run for the treasure. He had to make a choice, and he decided on Sky. "Don't even think about throwing that rock!"

Sky launched the stone at the Minotaur. "Try me then!"

Chef watched the stone casually hit the fursuit's head and bounce to the ground, doing zero damage.

Sky chuckled nervously. "Well that was… not what I expected."

The ax swung down and Sky leapt out of the way like a frog, hitting the ground on all fours where she dodged swing after swing after swing.

Meanwhile, Heather and Alejandro were the first to reach the treasure, followed by Shawn and then surprisingly by Scott and Courtney who managed to sneak into the mix while Sky kept the bull man occupied.

"Where the heck did you guys come from!?" Shawn shrieked at the former All-Stars couple. "Did you follow us?!"

"Hehehe, yeah," Scott cackled. "Might want to make sure you aren't picking up any tag-alongs next time, zombie brains! Thanks for clearing all the traps for us!"

Courtney and Scott both grabbed a goblet at the same time Shawn grabbed three and Al and Heather grabbed theirs.

"Well drat!" Shawn yelled. "Smart move though. But also, drat!"

"No time to waste," Heather said with a smack to Alejandro's gut with the goblet. "Let's move!"

Scott narrowed his eyes at that little interaction, but he knew it was a race back to the starting line and couldn't waste a second. "Courtney, let's get outta here!"

"Right," said the CIT, keeping close to her ally.

Shawn launched two goblets overhead at Jasmine and Sky. "Catch!"

The girls nailed the grabs and retreated as Chef began to tire out. "Stupid kids," he wheezed. "Makin' me work that hard… Gonna… pay for this."

"Oh hey, Chef," Owen said as he casually and fearless approached the sweaty mess of a cook on his way to the treasure. "I wondered if you were still working here. You really need a raise, man."

Chef was breaking a sweat, but he also broke a smile. "Huh? Thanks, Owen. You know, on account of me being so tired, stuck in a dingy old fursuit, and wanting this challenge to end, you can just take a goblet without me tryin' to stop you. And only because you made my cold, dead heart feel a little flutter of joy for one second of my miserable employment this season."

Owen snatched up a goblet and made sure they didn't have anything tasty inside. "Wow, thanks, Chef. It means so much to-" Suddenly the ax head with up to his neck and his eyes went wide.

"Don't push the sentimentality, tubby boy," Chef growled. "Just take your darn treasure and scram before the next group shows!"

The big dude gave a hearty salute and bolted for the exit. "Aye aye, Minotaur sir!"

With his chamber all to himself and the chaos over for at least a few seconds, Chef let out a sigh. "I like that kid."

Mike and Zoey heard the rumblings of foot steps and were suddenly overwhelmed by the massive rush of bodies coming down their tunnel. Scott, Courtney, Jasmine, Shawn, Sky, Alejandro, and Heather pushed through in a close race for first place, pushing Mike and Zoey against the wall. And then Owen, a sweaty, sweaty Owen, followed a few yards behind as he shouted "Wait for me, guys!"

Shook from the sheer… chaos of it all, Mike and Zoey stumbled back together and knew exactly what to do. "The treasure's close!"

The couple made a run for it, but were cut off by another bunch of players and their burning torches coming around a nearby corner.

"Gwen, Cody!" Zoey cheered. "You made it!"

Cody nearly jumped out of his skin at the shock of hearing that voice emerge from the darkness, but a smile soon took over his face. "Oh thank God you guys didn't die!"

Before they could officially reunite, Lightning bolted through with torch in hand. "Sha-move it, losers! Lightning's got a challenge to win!"

"Not if I win it first!" Sugar shrieked, chasing down the jock with a super fast waddle.

"Wait, are we last?!" Duncan gasped.

"Well half the cast just ran through here a minute ago, so probably," Mike said, the fear creeping into his expression word by word. "Let's go!"

All the remaining players united into one mass and pushed their way through the cramped tunnel until the treasure room was upon them. Lightning and Sugar had already gotten in a tussle which Chef took joy in watching, leaving the treasure for the taking. That is, until everyone noticed Chef with ax in hand guarding it.

"Oh no!" Beth squealed in horror. "Chef's got an ax! And he's a furry! Not that there's anything wrong with that because furries are people too and deserve our respect as human beings with an artistically creative hobby that isn't that weird when you think about it, but still... Chef's got an ax!"

Chef rolled his eyes and threw the weapon to the ground. "You know what? That's it! I'm done for today! Just take the stupid gold and get out. I need a shower. This suit wasn't even washed."

With the only obstacle out of the room, the treasure was up for grabs. As Sugar and Lightning wrestled for it on the floor, the rest of the players made a break for the gold and each grabbed their goblets. It was officially a race for last place, and Sugar and Lightning were quickly left behind.

"I told you, Rotten Tomatoes is just an average!" Sugar screamed, throwing Lightning off and going for a goblet. "Not an actual rating!"

"Nuh uh!" Lightning sassed, dragging Sugar back by her top and reaching for his own goblet. "You can't trust the critics! Buncha liars is what they are!"

Sugar conked Lightning over the head with a fist and grabbed a goblet. "Says the guy who disses me for likin' movies that ain't critically acclaimed! See ya in last place, sucka!"

Lightning regained his composure and stumbled over to the last goblet. "Sha-yoink!"

Confessional

"Stupid Lightning!" Sugar growled, beating her hand on the seat. "If I go home first because of him, he ain't never gonna hear the end of it from me! Who cares if he's hotter than the sun and knows how to enjoy good vittles, he's a donkey!"

(static)

"That Sugar's a crazy lady, let Lightning tell ya. She's nuts. Totally bonkers. Outta her mind. But Lightning can appreciate a good man to man tussle, even if one of those men is actually a chick."

End Confessional

Amazingly, the front runners had all stayed close on the race out of the maze, not willing to risk splitting off and falling behind. It wasn't like it was a race for elimination for them or anything. Worst case scenario: they didn't win the challenge. Within minutes, Alejandro and Heather had led the group back to the start of the maze where the light of day shined down from the stairway. Though they maintained a lead, Shawn, Jasmine, Sky, Courtney, and Scott were on their heels and managed to leave the maze together, all in one massive cluster of chaos. A couple hundred yards away, Chris stood at the finish line ready to call a pair of winners. This was it. This was the moment to prove your worth, to win immunity, and to control the season. Whoever won here had a huge advantage. And they all wanted it.

"Come on, slowpokes!" Chris shouted. "First two to cross the line win it!" But Chris wasn't ready for the absolute storm of energy that came his way. In one heaping mass, the group collided as they crossed the line in what Chris saw as a photo finish 7-way tie for the win. The host ducked out of the way and blinked. "Uh… Yeah. I think we'll need the tapes for this one."

"Uh, clearly I was the first woman to cross," Heather protested. "My foot hit the line before anyone else did."

"Wrong," Courtney moaned. "Obviously I beat you if you were paying attention."

"Well at least I know I was the first dude across," Shawn chuckled. "It wasn't even a close call if you ask."

"Apologies, my paranoid friend, but I believe I crossed first for the men," Alejandro said quite rudely.

"Well, I guess I lost," Owen sighed, dragging his feet across the line with goblet in hand. "I just wasn't built for running with all this blubber, hahaha."

All Chris could do, for the entire time this argument went on, was blink. "Yeah… we need the tapes."

Jasmine let out a scream and threw her arms to the sky in ecstasy. "Air! Fresh air! It's been so long! But I'm aliiiiiive! I need a minute..."

"And maybe a therapist," the host added under his breath.

"Dude, what was with the yogurt though?" Owen asked, collapsing next to the host. "Please tell me you got a lifetime supply of that stuff around here!"

Chris blinked and gave a quippy reply. "Uh you mean the death trap I filled with acid?"

"No it was yogurt."

Another blink. "It was a joke. But yeah, that was a clever trap I cooked up to torture you on the way in."

"Well it still sucked," Heather whined, picking a little of the sticky goop out of her hair. "I need a shower. But like, why no traps on the way out if you wanted us to suffer?"

Chris stopped blinking and got back on his feet because that joke got old. "Uh, yeah… I only had time to set off a limited number of traps. I had to leave a few in there just in case we use the maze again since those bad boys aren't cheap. That's not to say I didn't leave one last surprise for them though, hehe."

Back in the maze, the pressure of last place had caused the remaining players to split up and take different paths back to the start. Lightning stuck to Sugar like glue, knowing he could beat her in a footrace, not that it mattered since they weren't even competing for the same spot. Cody and Gwen and Mike and Zoey had split off as pairs yet again, though that was less their choice than it was the stress of the race naturally pushing them apart. That left Duncan and Beth racing together just like in the good old Action days.

Chris and the rest watched the opening of the maze like hawks as the first pair from the back of the pack emerged from the darkness and crossed the line.

"And just like that, Duncan and Beth survive to see another day!" Chris announced. Cody wasn't there to see it, but if he was, he'd have been a little peeved.

"Oh thank God!" Duncan gasped, falling to the ground. "We thought we were toast, man!"

"And now we can spend another day making new friends, right?" Beth asked the bad boy, who replied with a cold "Yeah sure whatever."

Soon after, another pair left the maze and Chris greeted them with a smile.

"Come on, Gwen and Cody. You're not safe yet!"

"Hurry!" yelped the goth, pushing herself and Cody across the line with a forceful command.

"Aaaaand now you're safe!"

Cody smacked his forehead. "Chris, don't scare us like that. You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Because you thought you wouldn't be able to simp after mediocre goth booty this year?" Chris teased.

Duncan snickered from the crowd and Cody didn't take it lightly. Even if he didn't see Duncan face to face in the moment, he determined right then and there to kick his ass in the game at some point since they were both still in. It was his mission. Gwen wanted the past to die, and so did he. And Duncan was the past.

McLean started counting heads. "That leaves… 10, 11, 12… Two girls and two guys left! Mike vs Lightning, and Zoey vs Sugar. Who's gonna be saying goodbye to Greece on Day 1?!"

"Come on, guys," Gwen said, gazing hopefully to the maze's entrance in the distance. "You got this."

"Sugar, no..." Beth gasped. "Not like this. I didn't even give you a friendship bracelet yet!"

"Please send Zoey home," Courtney pleaded to herself. "Please send Zoey home."

Owen picked a little yogurt out of… somewhere and sucked it off his finger to the horror of Sky. "Hmmmm, delicious."

Back in the maze, Mike and Zoey had a lead over Sugar and Lightning by a few meters. Lightning was starting to catch up, but Sugar was quickly falling behind on account of her less than stellar physical fitness.

"It can't end like this," Sugar gasped, her eyes starting to tear up.

"Nah," Lightning sighed. "I'm with ya, weird farmer girl. If we wanna stay in, we gotta put outside our differences and sha-win this right now!"

Sugar noticed the light of the exit up ahead and remembered the taste of smoke and ash like it was… just a couple hours ago. "Well I might have an idea." The farm girl looked ahead with a squint and saw her target. "If I can nail a coin slot at 30 meters, I can nail this. Hold yer breath, ball boy! Time for these suckers to get Sugared!"

Mike and Zoey were so close to leaving the maze and securing the win, but with Lightning right behind them, they couldn't slow down for a second or it could be the end of them. But then something did pass them, a flash of gold soaring through the air. It hit the ground a few meters ahead and clicked against the ground.

"What the heck?!" Mike screamed, narrowly dodging the goblet as it soared by his head. But as soon as he realized what happened, it was too late. The pressure plate went off and literally blew up his and Zoey's spot, filling the room with smoke. A coughing fit echoed through the maze as Lightning and Sugar entered the cloud, the latter scooping her goblet off the ground as she strolled by. Mike and Zoey didn't stop though. They were slowed, but not out of it. Both duos pushed towards the exit…

The suddenly explosion alerted the other 12 players and Chris. All eyes flew to the smoky entrance in the rocks as one pair emerged slightly ahead of the other and made a mad dash for the finish line.

...

...

...

...

...

"Sha-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-BAM!" Lightning screeched, launching himself and his treasure across the line with Sugar stumbling across right behind.

"Got 'em..." she groaned, hitting the dirt.

Mike and Zoey arrived just seconds later and collapsed just short.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Mike screamed to the heavens.

Zoey just shook her head in disbelief. "Does this mean-"

Chris wouldn't even let her finish. "And with that, Sugar and Lightning take second to last place for the girls and guys, meaning that, yes, Mike and Zoey are out of the game!"

Gwen gasped. "Oh no."

"Oh yes," Courtney sighed happily, quiet as a mouse. "Two down, so many more to go."

"Be still my racing heart," Beth wheezed, still recovering from the close call her new friend just experienced.

Mike wiped a tear from his eye and gave his girl a hug. "I'm sorry, Zoey. I don't know what happened. I-I just don't know."

Zoey wiped a tear from her boyfriend's other eye and smiled through the pain of elimination. "It's okay, Mike. I'm just glad we got to be here together. And hey, at least we get eliminated together too, right? We'll never be apart this time..."

Mike sniffed. "I guess." He looked at Chris. "I just wish this didn't feel so unfair. We didn't even get voted off. We just lost a challenge because someone set off a mine or… whatever that was."

"And you can credit me with that," Sugar bragged, poking her chest with a thick thumb.

Gwen glared at the pageant queen. "Not. The time."

Confessional

Gwen just buried her head in her hands. "I hate this. I just… really freakin' hate this. I was hoping Mike and Zoey would stick around since I actually like them and we all get along, but now that they're out first, things just got way harder for me around here. I hate to sound all self-righteous and stuff after that big leave stuff in the past speech, but a lot of people left are pretty big assholes. At least with those two, I knew I was with good company. But I guess I still have Cody, and Duncan isn't all bad. And I have the Pahkitew people I could get to know. Minus Sugar of course. Because I'm officially done with her after that display at the challenge."

(static)

"Boom!" Sugar cheered, nearly falling out of her seat with excitement. "That's how it's done. If there's any gal this side of Toronto who can clutch a win from the jaws of death, it's ol' Sugar. They can hate me, but I'm still here and they ain't so… Suck it, saps!"

(static)

"Man, maybe the Lightning had Sugar all wrong," the jock said, tapping his chin inquisitively. "Without her last second plan to blow up the love birds, I might be on a boat ride over to wherever the losers go this season. We might butt heads, but that girl knows how to throw a touchdown."

End Confessional

As the burning sun set on the Aegean Sea, Chris led the group down to the beach where a sizable gondola was waiting for the eliminated contestants. In the little boat was a scrawny cloaked figure holding a long pole with gloved hands. Each glove had a skeletal design printed on it.

"Welcome to this seasons humiliating way home: the Ferry of Shame!" Chris announced, gesturing to the figure who could only let out a creepy exhale. "This is Charon, who is not here to speak with a manager, but to take all boot-ees across the River Styx to the Afterlife… and by that, I mean he'll ferry you across the sea as you contemplate where everything went wrong. Mike and Zoey, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Ferry of Shame awaits."

Mike and Zoey gave their last hugs goodbye and joined the creepy reaper in his gondola.

"Sorry we couldn't stick around, guys!" Mike called out. "It would have been cool to meet some of you for the first time!"

"Yeah," Zoey added. "A lot of you seemed pretty cool! And I guess make sure you take down Sugar for us!"

"Hmph," Sugar grunted. "Bitter Betty."

"Take care, you two!" Gwen called out as the gondola left the shore. "Sorry it had to end so soon!"

Mike waved back. "It's fine, Gwen! Just make the finale this time! You deserve it!"

The gondola crept out into the surf until Mike and Zoey were vanishing into the twilight mist. And then they were gone…

Gwen sighed and walked away. Cody wanted to chase her down, but decided she needed some time alone. Duncan on the other hand decided otherwise.

"So," he said, trying to start a chat, only to get a finger to the face.

"Not now, Duncan. Please?"

Duncan shook his head and let Gwen go. "Girls are weird, man."

"Tell me about it," Owen said, still licking yogurt off his hands from… wherever it still was on his body.

Duncan glared at the chubby guy. "Dude… Really?"

The sound of a loud "Ahem" from Chris brought attention back on the host.

"I'm sure you're also wondering who won the challenge today?"

Beth shrugged. "I mean, I know I lost so… No, not really."

"Well too bad, because you're finding out..."

Everyone leaned in for the answer. Which lucky two would be captains? Who would have a short term safety net? Who would get the chance to dictate the start of this game?

"Tomorrow."

Everyone had the same reaction.

"WHAT?!"

Chris just shrugged. "Yeah, it's still too close to call. It'll take all night to check every angle, but don't worry, you'll know first thing tomorrow whose asses you should be kissing. Go on back to your snug little rooms, kids. And sleep tight, because tonight might be your last!"

And with that ominous send off, the remaining 14 players returned to their Greek house to get settled in. The first two departures had come and gone like the wind. Mike and Zoey, two tough finalists and two-time mergers… were gone first. Just like that. Because they hadn't even moved in or unpacked, it was as if they'd never been there at all. That set the tone for the season. It would be a battle and a lot of egos would take some hits. But everyone knew the light at the end of the tunnel was worth it. Money talked. And it had a lot more to say before this game was over.

"And that's a wrap!" Chris exclaimed from the beach. "Two down, fourteen to go! Who will be team captains? Who will they pick for their squads? And who will officially be the first person voted off the island? Tune in next time for another exciting dose of Total… Drama… Clash of the Titans!"

Ferry of Shame Clip: Mike and Zoey

Somewhere across the sea, Mike and Zoey arrived at a new beach where Charon quickly rowed back out to sea without a word, just another creepy exhale.

"So is… this the Playa?" Mike asked, looking around the barren stretch of shoreline.

Zoey squinted to see in the dark and caught the faint light of fire in the distance. "Over there! He just dropped us off a little off course."

As the two made their way to the light, Mike started to mope some more. "Not even a burger and a shake at the Playa could make me feel better right now to be honest. It's like all my dreams just got gutted… Is that what all first boots feel like?"

Zoey kicked some rocks and shells out of her way as she trudged along. "I guess so. I mean, I bet Staci felt bad about going home first. And she even lost her hair."

"Well on the bright side, we didn't lose ours so… technical victory?" Mike still wasn't cheered up with his lame attempt at a joke. This still sucked.

"Well now I can relate," Zoey sighed. "Staci's proverbial shoes hurt a lot. Like they're full of rocks. Which mine probably are right now but I… really don't care. I just want to get in bed and relax. Watch some old seasons, eat some good food, and hang out with you."

"You know, that sounds sweet. Maybe this won't be so bad."

As the couple approached the light, they weren't greeted by the Playa. No, this was something else. It was a structure for sure, but instead of a sprawling resort, it was… just a little beachside bungalow with a lantern hanging inside. Upon closer inspection, they got a good idea of what they were dealing with. No pools, no fridges, and no TV. Just a bungalow with a lantern, a coffee table and a couple shoddy cots to sleep in.

"Uh… did we get off on the right beach?" Zoey asked nobody in particular.

Mike saw a note on the table and opened it up for the two of them to read together.

"Greetings first boots," he read. "Sorry to see you go so soon, but do not fear. Just as in the myths of old, dying in the mortal world doesn't mean your spirit is dead. From now on, you'll live on this separate island known as The Underworld!"

"What?!" Zoey gasped.

"After every elimination," Mike continued. "You'll face off in a one vs one challenge to stay on this island for another day. The winner comes back here to bide their time, the loser is out for good. At a certain point, one victor will be reincarnated, or in other words, return to the game as if they'd never left. But it won't be easy. You'll be roughing it in the elements and need to find your own food. So get to work and set your mind to it, and you'll be back in the running for the money in no time. Good luck, losers. Love, Chris McLean..."

Zoey and Mike paused, took one look at each other, and knew exactly what to say. "We're still in it!"

A couple more seconds passed, then Zoey finally realized what this meant. "But only one of us survives tomorrow..."

Mike's smile, which had been on his face for all of five seconds, dropped again. "So it's not all good news..."

"But we still have a chance, even if only one of us can get back in," Zoey added with a rejuvenated smile. "And I know one of us will get back in."

Mike's smile returned and they embraced with a kiss. It was going to be a tough night if not a tough season for both of them, but neither was out for good. Down for sure, but not out. Even in the dark reaches of the Underworld, that little lantern was the spark of hope they needed. That's all that mattered.

Eliminated: N/A

In the Underworld: Mike, Zoey

Remaining: Alejandro, Beth, Cody, Courtney, Duncan, Gwen, Heather, Jasmine, Lightning, Owen, Scott, Shawn, Sky, Sugar

Reasoning for Elimination: So even though nobody's technically been eliminated yet, we do have two first boots trying to get back into the game through a new twist! Mike and Zoey were both characters I didn't have a ton of interest in working with in the main game. Both had two seasons to develop and there wasn't much I could do with either of them without just letting them coast on likeability. But in the Underworld, Mike and Zoey have a real story now that could have legs: get back in even if one of them HAS to lose in the next episode. Hopefully a few people were thinking Sugar and Lightning's petty rivalry would send them both home instead, but nope.

A/N: And so ends the premiere of Total Drama: Clash of the Titans. Why go with a Greek Mythology theme? Well I recently took a Mythology class in college and I've always loved the stories, and I love Total Drama… so why not combine the two? The casting process was pretty easy. I knew I wanted a Best of the Best cast full of true All-Stars, which I know is a risk because so many characters here are had their fair share of plot in the canon series, but I limited myself to people who made the final four at least once, giving me 18 options. I wanted a 16 person cast to keep things trimmed down for what will be a 13 episode season. Sierra was cut because I felt like she didn't have much to offer with this season, and between Cameron and Cody who vied for the last spot, Cody was the easy choice. Cam would have been a super early boot if not the first boot because he would bring almost nothing to the table here, whereas Cody has some developing to do. And it's just more fun to have an underdog character thrown in who has something to prove in a cast of legends. Cam won in this timeline (as did Owen, Duncan, Heather, Zoey, and Shawn for the record). He doesn't need to prove anything to anybody.

But yeah, that's the premiere. It's loooooong and most chapters will be, but I want to give every character time to shine and short 10K chapters aren't enough. And fun fact: I've been writing this since last year so I basically have the majority of it written already with only last minute editing needing to be done on most episodes, so expect weekly or bi-weekly releases of new episodes without the long, drawn out hiatuses that plague a lot of fics :D

Hopefully you all enjoyed this premiere! It's gonna be a wild ride, so until next time, take care!