Prologue
..
Three minutes.
That was all it took for her whole life to change. She was seated on the tiled floor of the bathroom, her back resting against the wooden door, her eyes staring intently at the pregnancy test that was resting on the closed lid of the toilet seat. It was sometime in the middle of the night, but she hadn't looked at the time as she knew that would only cause her anxiety to spike. She could hear the gentle rumble of his snoring on the other side of the door, and that brought her some comfort in knowing that he was close to her.
She had wanted to wake him but she didn't want to rain on his parade if the promise of a bright future with a child they could call their own was ripped from them. They had been in that position so many times, both anxiously waiting for the test to show them what could be theirs. And in that time, the both of them had pictured the Saturday afternoons playing baseball or soccer or even just running around the garden or lying underneath the large blossom tree in the garden of the house they would buy that had a homemade swing hanging from the strongest branch. Or even the simple task of calling for them as dinner was laid out on the table and where they would all sit around it together and share stories of their day.
Together, as a family, as one.
She had imagined that child being the perfect blend of them both. She hoped that they would have his eyes and smile, as he hoped they would her kindness and laugh.
Standing up carefully, she paced the tiled floor of the small room. The temptation to draw her gaze down to the test was overwhelming but she fought against it, and instead moved to the sink where she grabbed the glass from the shelf and filled it with water. She drank slowly, her gaze moving to her reflection in the mirror.
She looked exhausted. There was no denying that. The dark circles under her eyes were a major giveaway that her life wasn't as rosy as she had hoped it would be, and work was as stressful as ever. Her auburn hair that was usually shiny was dull, and her skin that was usually glowing and clear was blemished and pale.
She laid a hand over her racing heart, willing for herself to calm down. She had been wondering how it would change her life if it was the news she wanted. The news she hoped for more than anything else in the world. And there was no doubting just how much it would change every aspect of her life; but it had been something that the both of them had wanted for so long that it always seemed so far away. Her friends and family were all hoping for the happy news and they would ask questions hoping that it would be the time for them to share it with them, and when it never came, the questions seemingly stopped but they were still there in the silence. She understood their frustration; she felt it deep down in her heart every time she took a test and it came back negative. They wanted nothing more than to be happy for them; to have something tangible that was hopeful.
Her mind raced as she looked down at the test. She hesitated, clasping her eyes shut before she saw the result. Reaching for it, she held it in her hand and hoped that it would give her the answer she so desperately hoped for.
When she reopened them, she exhaled slowly. Her heart leaped into her throat.
Positive.
And that hope of a future together as a family was quickly becoming real.
..
The end of the world had been a shock that neither of them had expected to happen. The hope of finally having news to share with family and friends that they were adding a member to their family was ripped away from the when the outbreak happened.
She thought of her parents and his parents in the quiet moments of night, and how they would never get to know that they were finally getting a grandchild who could be showered with love and happiness.
But the outbreak didn't occur overnight. The breakdown of the world, of civilisation as they knew it, happened in stages, like a mirror falling to the ground and fracturing piece by piece slowly, until the whole thing was damaged beyond repair. It was slow at first, at a snail's pace at least, and then when more cases of erratic behaviour and violence, of illness and then immediate death, it had caused a stir amongst communities. However, there were people who still turned a blind eye to the situation, deeming it to be a simple matter of negligence from certain groups of people. The police were inundated with calls of violence, of aggression, that escalated more with each day.
Each person that was affected wasn't aware that the end of the world was imminent and had all stumbled upon a crossroads in their lives. Some, in a sense, were fortunate enough to depart this world before the chaos ripped through the entire world, destroying everything with no chance to prevent it or stop it in its course. Some were unfortunate as they were forced to watch their families be ripped apart in front of them or having that one final conversation with them before the line cut or having to say goodbye to their loved ones knowing that the end was near. To have their future ripped from them by circumstances completely out of their control, they struggled to adjust to the new world.
Whilst many knew the world was too bleak to carry on for, and so they did what they needed to do in the hope it would ease their pain, many chose to fight against the unknown in the hopes of bettering the world.
The city that they had loved was being destroyed around them, with houses being looted or burned down. They remained in the comforts of their apartment that was above a coffee shop in the heart of the city. They watched the devastation of an ever-changing world as it evolved around them, stripping them of the good memories of a city that had been their home.
The small bump was their only comfort. There were days where she would forget, just for a moment, but then she'd feel a little flutter and be reminded that she wasn't alone. The world was different to the one she was used to, and she understood the dangers the new world brought. In the shortest spaces of time, reality had become abstruse and all sense of normality had all but fallen away by the roadside or disintegrated like a photograph caught on fire.
They had headed to the one of many safe zones around the city deeming it safer than the comfort of their own apartment. Sooner or later, they would run out of food and would need to find some supplies in order to keep going. It hadn't been an easy decision to make though, the risk of a pregnant woman out in the open, with the undead roaming the streets was going to hard. They needed to keep that hope alive, and when the radio broadcast had told them to head to one of the many safe zones situated around the city, their old life was over. They just hadn't known it yet. That future that they had hoped for was ripped from their grasp as soon as they left the safety of their apartment.
The crowd was overwhelming. They'd ventured out that morning, deeming the streets to be safe from the dead and whilst they had been for just a small amount of time, they hadn't known the true horrors of the new world were just waiting for them.
Someone in the crowd had been bitten, and had not disclosed it with any of the soldiers that were at the gates. When that person turned, chaos ensued. She'd lost him in the crowd, ripped apart from each other as the crowd reacted to the snarls and growls from within. It was like a horror movie as she was pulled in different directions as people tried to escape the grasps of the undead that seemed to be multiplying with each deafening second. But this wasn't a horror movie she could simply hide behind a cushion at; this was their reality now.
She'd been able to get out of the crowd, running as her whole life—and the life of her unborn baby—relied heavily on her quick actions. He had been standing right beside her just before the crowd went crazy, his hand on her shoulder and now she couldn't see him anywhere in the crowd.
The screams and cries that echoed in the darkness caused her heart to race violently against her chest, and her mind to wonder if Negan had been bitten.
She looked for him, trying to spot him in the bustling crowd. But when she couldn't find him, she knew it wasn't safe to be outside any longer. The army had taken a call unknown to her to shoot those within the crowd, to maintain control before it spiralled out of control. Their main aim had been to eliminate the undead, but it was hard to decipher who had been compromised and who was merely panicked and running for their lives.
She understood that staying there was a bad decision, and as night beckoned them, she had no other choice but to head back home to their apartment in the hopes that she would find him there. Maybe he had returned there, believing she had done the same. As she ran through the streets, the sound of pained cries behind her, she'd faltered as she heard the onslaught of bullets being fired into the crowd. She hid down the alleyway beside her apartment, chest pounding and mind racing until they stopped, until the whole world fell silent once more. And she stayed there, her legs like jelly as she tried to navigate through her thoughts. What if he was still out there? What if he'd been bitten in the crowd? Or shot by the shoulders for simply looking for her? When the coast was clear, she headed back home. The apartment was her safe haven, and she knew that she would be protected from the undead.
She'd seen the destruction, she'd seen the torment the undead were causing on the city, and she saw the loss of lives all from her window. The bodies that sprawled out on the streets below her was a constant reminder that life would never be the same again. How could life recover from this? And whilst she felt safe where she was, and with her ever growing stomach, she had so much to consider. Leaving the city was her only option but without Negan by her side, it was going to be hard to navigate life without him. If he had been able to come back to her, he would've fought hard to find her.
He didn't return to the apartment that night. Her thoughts offered her nothing but anxious conclusions. Had he been bitten by one of them? Was he one of them? She faltered as she remained by the window all night, her gaze watching the street below in the hopes that she would see him alive and well. But when morning came and he still hadn't made it back, she felt her world begin to crumble around her.
The days passed by in a haze of disturbed sleep, of nausea and worry, and the deep rooted fear that she would never see his face again.