Notes! I'm over here just trying to stay consistent with writing old hyper-fixations, both on here and on AO3. Atrociously unedited, we die like men, as the old adage says . . .

Enjoy!

At what point was it deemed inappropriate to stare? Especially when I had no business in being here, at some lavish festivity concluding another contest season. I should have been on my way, embarking on my next conquest in the Coordinating World. I was always proactive, always a go-getter, always getting ahead and never tailing behind.

Or so I thought . . . now I wasn't so sure.

I found myself unable to break the trance I was in - the moment she waltzed into the room with that gorgeous, sophisticated, yet simplistic pink A-Line number, adjusted to suit her petite frame. She was the most stunning lady in a room full of numerous other memorable faces, but she was the only one I was fixated on. The only one who beared any significance to me in this room at all (never mind Soledad, but that was more familial); everyone else were mere strangers, absolute nobodies, to me!

She didn't know I decided to show up though. I was hidden within the many faces of the crowd of this grand room; here she was the center of the attention - she earned this year's Ribbon Cup, snatching the victory that was meant for my hands, but she caught me by surprise at an appropriate timing.

May always drew a lot of attention to herself, whether or not she was aware of it. She was a show-stopper, a diva, a star - the biggest star here and globally.

She deserved all of the praise she was being showered with today; she especially deserved the spotlight here. She earned it.

Rightfully.

So why was I still feeling so . . . ?

Angered? Jealous?

. . . Envious?

No. None of those were right. I let go of the envy well back in the Kanto Grand Festival; this was years since then.

Slighted . . . ? Sure, that may be, but why? WHY? Not like she had done anything to do so! Not even snatching the Ribbon Cup right from my hands! I was PROUD! As a friend! As a top contender myself in this realm of the ever-flourishing, progressing Pokemon World! As a competitor! As a rival!

So then WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH ME . . .?

Was I feeling . . . ?

. . . Left behind by her, in a way, too?

Because she was getting further ahead of our career . . . ?

Was I afraid of her forgetting about me at the expense of her skyrocketing up the prestige ladder . . . ?

That sounded absolutely blasphemous but it may have some truth to it.

Not that it meant it was actually what was happening. I was never one to let my own insecurities get the better of me, at least nowadays. I would have liked to think I had outgrown that part of me.

But maybe I was in over my head there.

Maybe I really needed to stop stealing drink after drink because that may have been clouding my judgment here as well. Either that or I've lost my marbles - no lie!

What did I actually know, though?

Should I leave?

Or just give her my well wishes and shove off from her life for the rest of our lives?

Dammit...

Over-thinking typically wasn't a thing with me anymore, yet here I was . . . Maybe it was from being a bit buzzed . . .

Speaking of which . . .

I was starting to feel a mild pounding starting behind my eyes. May was also making her way toward me with the biggest smile on her face that radiated her retained innocence even well into our early adulthood. While certainly seasoned and educated now, May hadn't lost her bright-eyed nature, still looking at the world through rose-colored lenses even in spite of what cruelty the world had exposed her to.

I shouldn't leave. I should at least give her another heartfelt, genuine congratulations. Maybe send her a forever rose for her to keep. As an unspoken promise - no matter where the world took her or me now, I would always be here for her.

Even if I loathed the idea of us being divided or isolated from another at all. I had fallen behind her, and I had to catch up . . . I couldn't become any less of a challenge to her even if another major (recent) loss may have meant nothing on a grander scale.

"Hey," May greeted, halting before me with a little jingle in her step, and her sparkly A-line gleaming under the reflected warm light from the chandeliers above. "What's your next move?"

"First of all, congratulations, Maple." I managed a grin and remained as casual as I could be given my progressively drunken state. "Why're you asking? That eager to get me out of your way?"

May shot up an eyebrow at that and blushed furiously. "No, dummy! You just aren't the type to party, so I was wondering -"

" - if I had any plans at all. Okay. No ulterior motive then. I'll let you off this once." I was only poking fun, but was I really? "Probably going to hole up for a few months before deciding my next conquest. You taught me I had a lot to learn, you know."

"Well, it was you who reminded me never to stop learning and refining yourself and your techniques." May twiddled with her thumbs and as she spoke, stray strands of her soft, chestnut locks fell over her face. I was tempted to swipe it away, but refrained.

No, no. Don't mess this up! We aren't there yet.

"You have always been my greatest teacher, rival," she continued, "And I continue to learn from you. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do now . . . Maybe go stay with my family for a little while. Ash and his friend Goh are traveling around Galar right now and they might want me to come see them soon."

And where did that leave me? Maybe I shouldn't keep exaggerating my place in her life.

"I was wondering if you wanted to, just, come back home with me? You met my mom. You already know Max. It's just my dad you haven't officially met yet - so why not?"

My eyes shot wide and I was glad I had already set my mug down on the table I was seated at. That was not something I expected. She really was thinking about me! She really, really was - !

"I'll make it happen," I told her, "We can work on refining our unique methods together during some downtime." Not like I ever had the best relationship with my own family anyway. Sure, there was my older sis, but apart from her.

"Well with that settled, would you like to dance?"

I paused to examine her, as if mulling over her offer, though I already had my answer. May's skin, radiant under the warm, soft glow from the wide ceiling's sparkling lights combined with the way her dress twinkled reminded me of the Sun. Something that she always had been. Burning and shining, blindingly bright. Sharing her warmth with the world. Showing the world her own beauty and strength.

I wanted to help her realize the Sun was what she always was. I wanted to help her continue to burn and shine bright.

"You know I can't say 'no,'" I replied, standing up at my feet surprisingly steady (I lost count how many drinks I had ingested by the time May approached me), hoping May didn't catch the stench of alcohol from my breath. I stepped closer and extended my hand so she could place hers in, leading her to the dance floor as a slow dancing number began to fill the atmosphere.

As May rested her head against my shoulder and I lead her on with the dance, I thought to myself never to doubt how much May and I held each other in such high esteem ever, ever again.