I Own Nothing
AN: Okay I wanted an alternate take on the night before the house fire when TK was at Owen's after Mateo went to bed. I needed to get this out and hope that you enjoy it. I needed a make up scene in a way. I have already written like four other stories aliened with this episode that I'll post in the future. It gave me so many ideas that's for sure.
Summary: Carlos shows up at Owen's because of the accidental phone call he gets from TK. Their both hurting and dealing with a lot.
Title: Wanted To Give
It was all too much and he felt more than overwhelmed. Mateo's speech helped some, but TK felt like he couldn't really breath. He wanted the one person that he didn't even know if he still had right now. He hadn't wanted to go to bed, but when Mateo had he figured he might as well try to lay down at least. He had a shift the next day so figured he might need to try. He'd begged to see his dad, but they'd refused to let him. When he'd been leaving he'd seen Carlos there too, but he hadn't known why. He'd almost gone over there until he'd seen Gabriel and he couldn't do it. He would have ended up in jail for sure if he was near the man right now. Carlos and he had planned on a movie night before all this happened. He wanted to be cuddled up on the couch now with the man he loved. He wanted the last twenty some hours not to have happened.
He'd regretted what he'd done the second that Carlos had walked away from him. He'd never meant to lose his temper and throw it at him. He'd be the one in the firing range though. It had been over a year since he'd lost his temper that badly. The last person had been the two guys at the bar, but maybe it had been Judd too. He felt like hell and just wanted it to stop. He refused to go the other route though, he couldn't take the pills or find alcohol downstairs which he knew there was. His dad had never babied him that way.
Carlos had asked him if he needed it gone when he'd started going there before they'd become officially a couple. He'd told him no, he'd be okay. He'd noticed he hadn't had any the nights he stayed over though. If they went out he hadn't drunk either because he hadn't wanted him to have to taste it if they kissed. He loved Carlos so fucking much that right now it felt like a knife in his chest or lungs when he breathed. He took his phone out bringing up the photo gallery going through the pictures. There were some he still needed to make a copy of.
Looking through the photos didn't help though they made it worse. He'd been so torn that morning because he'd needed Carlos holding him, but he'd been the one that told him about his dad. He knew it was his way of protecting him from someone else telling him. If it was anyone else he'd probably landed in jail too. He had shoved his boyfriend until Carlos had restrained him. He knew now why he did it, he'd been once again protecting him from hurting his self. He'd been trying to stop him from feeling like he was now for lashing out. He hadn't even thought, he'd just seen red and he wasn't okay. He'd ended up having a panic attack after Carlos left. It hadn't just been because of his dad either. He'd seen the hurt in Carlos' eyes, knowing he couldn't be the one he turned to.
TK shut his eyes doing his best not to let the sound out, but a choking sound left him anyway. He hadn't eaten anything even when Mateo had offered to fix him something. He couldn't eat because he felt too sick to his stomach about everything. He went through his voicemails until he found the one he'd saved from Carlos. He'd left it one night when he'd been on shift and he'd been home. He'd been telling him goodnight and had sung him this song he'd heard on the radio. That was who his boyfriend was and he'd ruined it. He heard it all the way through and the I love you at the end was what broke him completely.
~TKC CTK~
The phone going off was what pulled Carlos out of his thoughts. He wasn't sure how he could have done things differently. He'd seen TK when he'd been at the station. He'd gone to the Rangers' headquarters his self to try and talk to his dad to let TK see Owen. He knew how badly TK needed to see his dad. He knew he had to be going nuts being kept away when he didn't know everything. He'd taken the chance, but of course his dad had told him it couldn't happen. He'd told him he didn't understand what this was doing to TK. He did know though because he'd felt it. It wasn't just the lashing out that TK had done, but the emotions he'd felt coming off in waves.
He never meant to hurt TK by seeming like he didn't believe him. He'd wanted to reassure him that his dad had everything on his side. He hadn't checked on Owen's story to disprove him. He'd done it to give TK a peace of mind so he knew that Owen would get out of this. He knew that Owen was TK's hero, his best friend, and he meant everything to him. It wasn't like a father and son relationship he'd seen and he'd wanted to try and do something that kept TK from ending up where this had gone. He knew he should have stopped talking, but he didn't know why he hadn't. If he hadn't of said a word about checking on Owen's story then he'd have TK here now.
The third ring Carlos took hold of the phone fixing to hit the end button. He didn't want to talk to anyone because the one person that mattered had sent him a text he wasn't coming. He'd known TK wouldn't come here even before the text. He'd seen how lost he looked at the station. He'd seen the tears he was trying to hold back. All he'd wanted to do was go over and hug him. Then his dad had come out and TK had gotten out of there quicker than he'd seen him do before. He knew why, he hadn't known what he was doing and thought he was helping.
Carlos saw the number and answered it because TK was actually calling him. He hadn't thought he would hear from him until this was over and Owen was free. He was fixing to say something, but all he could hear was sounds. He wasn't for sure at first what they were. He thought TK might have pocket dialed him. He said his name hoping that he might say something, but then he recognized the sounds. He'd held TK at the hospital the night they'd found him when he'd cried his self to sleep. The sounds were the exact same and it tore into his heart that he'd helped do this. He shouldn't have opened his mouth. He should have just stopped before he said he checked on Owen's story.
He tried a few times, but after the fourth when TK wouldn't respond to him he got up grabbing his keys and wallet before he took off out the door grabbing his shoes. He didn't hang up the phone either in case TK did finally answer him. He knew he'd go to his dad's so he drove to Owen's. TK had given him a key to the house when he'd given him one to his place. He'd wanted TK to come and go whenever he needed to. He hadn't used the key that TK gave him, but twice before. Once to surprise him and another because he'd been picking something up that TK forgot and needed.
Now he used it letting his self in and going upstairs finding the guest room that TK was using. He also found Mateo trying to comfort TK. He'd probably heard him, but he knew what TK needed. He didn't hesitate for a second pulling TK into his arms which he didn't protest about. He guessed that Mateo got it because he walked away, but he stopped at the door giving him a look. He'd never seen the other man with it before, but he got it. It was like hurt him again and I'll hurt you kind of look. He wasn't going to hurt TK again. They'd hurt each other earlier today and they were both having a hard time.
"I'm sorry, I went to see my dad to try and plead with him so you could see your dad." Carlos said moving his hand over TK's back. "I wasn't there telling him anything I might have known or putting anything against your dad. I just wanted you to be able to see him. I'm sorry that I checked on his story. I wanted you to know he had an alibi so you wouldn't worry. That's why I checked on his story not to make him sound guilty. I love you, TK. All I wanted to do was protect you. I'm sorry that it sounded like I didn't believe that he was innocent. I don't know what's going on, but I love you." He said figuring this was his punishment. He'd stay here forever holding onto TK if that was what it took.
~TKC CTK~
TK groaned feeling his head hurting as if someone had taken a drill to it and left the bit in. He didn't want to open his eyes, but the alarm was blaring which meant he had to get up and go to work. However, when he went to move he was pulled backwards. He opened his eyes finding his self wrapped up in Carlos' arms. He didn't remember much at first, but then bits and pieces came back. He'd finally broken down worse than when Judd had helped him the day before. He had dropped the phone he remembered then pieces of conversation had drifted in and out, but mostly he hadn't been able to focus on words. He kept hearing I love you though. Those words were floating through his memory of the night before when he'd cried his self into an exhausted sleep. He'd thought Mateo had been hugging him still though, he hadn't even realized that Carlos had shown up.
He felt like he'd cried his self out, but the tears started flowing again. He hadn't cried this much since the night he found out his dad had cancer. After he'd gone to bed he'd left going to Carlos' and just broke down. He had known his dad would be okay and he wasn't scared he was going to die because he'd refused to let that thought come. He'd broken because his dad had thought his own self weak. His dad was his hero and had been even when some of that got fractured over the years. He was his hero and he'd never once seen him as weak. Carlos had held him that night not even asking what was wrong. He'd just held onto him because he'd needed to feel safe and protected. Carlos had become like another hero to him, but a different level of one. Especially when he'd saved his life weeks ago by doing what he did best and following his gut as a cop.
"I know you don't want talk to me and it's fine. I get it, just let me hold you a little longer." Carlos said in a low voice not opening his eyes. He'd felt TK pulling to get free. He just couldn't let him go yet. "It's what we both need. Only thing I'll say in case you didn't hear me last night is why I was at the station. I tried begging my dad to let you see yours. I hurt you and I thought I could help by getting you in to see him. He told me no."
TK sank back against Carlos letting his head rest against his chest above his heart. "I'm sorry I lashed out. I shouldn't have done it. It took me most of the day to figure out you were trying to protect me. You always try and keep me safe and I did the one thing I shouldn't have done. I shoved you, I know I would have done worse if you hadn't grabbed me and held me. You got no idea how guilty I feel right now. If you were anyone else you could have arrested me for what I did. Instead you held onto me trying to ground me because you knew what was happening. You kept loving me even when I was a jerk to you."
"It didn't seem like it from how I said it, but I have your back, baby. It's all I was trying to do." Carlos said moving his hand over TK's back. "I knew what would happen if someone else told you. I forgive you and I'm never going stop loving you. I don't know what's going happen with this case. I do know that some how he's going be innocent."
"I love you too, babe. I just want redo yesterday and take it back." TK added hating it when his alarm started going off again.
"We'll talk more later. I'll try talk to my dad again, see if I can get you in to your dad. I'm off today so I'll do what I can. I don't know if it'll work, but I'll do anything for you to have some peace of mind." Carlos replied.
"You just gave me some." TK said before he pressed a kiss to Carlos' lips. He had to get up and go, but he didn't want to. "Call me even if you can't. I love you." He sighed before getting off the bed.
"I love you too." Carlos returned feeling some of the weight leaving him too. Until Owen was out of jail though things weren't going to be okay though.
~THE END~