A/N:

Hi friends!

This is my first Harry Potter fic in a *long time*, but I've really been feeling the Founders feels for a while and thought I would share this beautiful oneshot with the world. I figure not all of the subjects would be exactly as they are in canon, but it seemed like a funny idea to have the founders discuss.

Please read and review with any thoughts, comments, concerns, or anything else that strikes your fancy!

Without further ado, enjoy!

A blizzard roared outside on the grounds of the partially constructed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Salazar and Godric were huddled by a crackling fire in the teacher's lounge. Salazar had his nose in a book, and Godric was repeatedly stabbing a cobblestone in the wall with his sword. After twenty minutes of listening to Godric pester him about wanting a duel, Salazar had snapped. "For the hundredth time, I'm not interested. Besides, it's not me you should be fighting. I saw a boggart hiding behind one of the stones."

And so, face set with determination to protect the incoming students against boggarts, Godric had started stabbing every stone in the room, his silver sword clanging each time it hit the wall. This had been going on for fifteen minutes, with no success.

"You're not doing it right," Salazar said lazily, not looking up from his book. "You have to try to get in between the stones."

Godric sighed, setting down his sword, his breathing heavy. "I'm not even sure a Boggart could fit in there."

"It's a baby one," Salazar said smoothly, and he smirked at his book as Godric continued hacking at the stones.

Just then, the door to the lounge flew open. Rowena Ravenclaw walked in briskly, holding a roll of parchment under her arm and a quill in her hand. Helga followed. She was using magic to knit a thick, yellow jumper that looked suspiciously Salazar-sized.

"There you two are, I've been looking all over," Rowena said briskly. She took a seat by the fireplace, and Helga did the same. Salazar cocked an eyebrow in greeting, and Godric hit another stone with a loud BANG. Helga jumped. Rowena's eye twitched. "Godric, what are you doing?" she asked, her tone thick with disdain.

"Getting rid of a Boggart," Godric explained. He raised his sword again.

"Boggarts can't possibly live in cracks that small," Rowena snapped.

"Yeah, Godric," said Salazar, smirking slightly, "where would you get a stupid idea like that?"

Godric lowered his sword and glared at Salazar. For a second, Salazar was afraid he was going to hit him with the blunt edge of the sword. Instead, Godric's face broke into a wide grin. "Don't remember who told me: must not've been that important. My bad," he laughed. He sent Salazar a wink (which was returned with an eye-roll) and settled down on the same overstuffed couch as Helga. "What's going on?"

"Well, Rowena and I have been talking," Helga said, turning to face Godric, "and the architecture's nearly done, so… we should probably figure out what subjects we're going to teach."

Salazar felt his stomach do a nervous flip-flop. We? He thought. Teach?

"Magic," Godric said confidently. He nodded to Rowena, who had unfurled her parchment and set it on the coffee table beside her. "Write that down."

"Yes, thank-you Godric," Rowena said with a snort. "I was hoping we could be a little more descriptive." She pulled out another scroll and handed it to Godric and Helga, who held it out for Salazar to read as well. "This is what I was thinking," Rowena explained, and she continued to talk as Salazar read, her voice secondary to the long list of subjects on the page:

Alchemy

Charms

Transfiguration

Abjuration and Conjuration

Herbology

Potions

English Grammar

Latin

Arithmancy

History of Magic

Magical Transport

Magical Beasts

Magical Law and Ethics

The Wizarding Economy

Divination

Astronomy

Twenty more subjects were listed under Astronomy, and Salazar pulled away, his head throbbing.

"No thanks," he said coldly, interrupting Rowena mid-rant.

He had expected his friends to scold him, to force him into teaching, but Helga and Godric seemed to agree. Godric was staring at the list wearing a look of horror, and Helga was biting her lip.

"It is a little much, Rowena... I think it's lovely, don't get me wrong," she said quickly, "but… well… just how many subjects do you plan on each student taking?"

"Fifteen in their first year, and twenty-three by the time they're of age, not counting optional electives."

Godric made a noise between a snort and a groan, but he passed it off as a violent cough.

"What?" Rowena demanded, looking from the coughing Godric to the disgruntled Salazar to the hesitant Helga.

"It's just that… well… these children are eleven," Helga reminded.

Rowena looked back at her parchment sadly. "But all of these subjects are critical to functioning in magical society and mastering magical powers."

"I know," said Helga gently. She patted Rowena on the knee and smiled. "But let's pick seven or eight, okay?"

"There's no dueling class," Godric said abruptly, reading through the list a second time. "Was that a mistake?"

"No, it wasn't," Rowena sniffed, "because I think we ought to teach these children valuable skills."

Godric looked affronted. "Dueling is a valuable skill!"

"Oh, please,"

"You have Arithmancy on this list!" Godric protested. "There's nothing more useless than Arithmancy!"

"Arithmancy is important," Rowena snapped. "Just because you've never been able to count doesn't mean the subject is useless,"

"And just because you've never been able to duel doesn't mean dueling is either-"

"Okay!" Helga said sharply. Godric, Rowena, and Salazar all looked up at her. "How about we compromise? Godric, Arithmancy can be plenty useful. We wouldn't be in a functional building if none of us knew basic geometry. It should at least be an elective. Rowena, dueling is important as well. Maybe not getting into fights," she sent Godric a stern look, and he raised a hand to his heart, looking affronted, "but knowing how to defend yourself is an important skill."

"So… yes to dueling?" Godric asked, glancing at Rowena hopefully.

"Well, not dueling, per say," Helga continued when Rowena opened her mouth to protest, "more like… defense."

"Ooh!" Godric rubbed his hands together. "I love it." He stopped, confused. "Defense against what exactly?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts?" Salazar suggested. It was the first time he had spoken since his initial 'no thanks', and he was staring into the fire, his eyes reflecting the flickering flames like glassy, green mirrors.

"Perfect!" Helga exclaimed. Salazar cracked the barest trace of a smile. "Defense Against the Dark Arts. All in favor? Godric?" Godric nodded heartily. "Rowena?"

Rowena looked pensive. "I suppose that could be useful," she said finally, and scribbed it onto her second roll of parchment. "Transfiguration?" she suggested, raising an eyebrow at the other three as if daring them to disagree.

"Sounds lovely," Helga smiled. She consulted the list. "And I think Abjuration and Conjuration can fit into that category as well."

"As well as turning animals into water goblets and stuff," Godric said sagely.

"Right, we can't miss that. That's a valuable part of our curriculum," Rowena agreed, her face solemn. She added 'Transfiguration' onto the list. Charms was next, its importance unanimously agreed upon, and that was followed by Potions, Herbology, and Astronomy.

When those six subjects were decided, Godric clapped his hands together. "Looks like a great list, Rowena. I still think we ought to have dueling, but-"

"We're not nearly done yet," Rowena protested. "I still think we should cover aspects of the government and economy, as well as English grammar, Latin, and History."

Godric groaned. "All of those classes sound boring, Rowena."

"Luckily for you, I don't trust you to teach any of them," she said coldly. "Now, Latin especially would be important to include in the curriculum, because most verbal spells are derived from Latin."

"Really?" Helga asked, shocked. She looked to Godric. "Did you know that?" He shook his head, bewildered, and, not for the first time, Salazar caught Rowena's eye, and they exchanged an exasperated look. Peasants.

"Well, Godric and I got on just fine not knowing Latin," Helga said staunchly, "so… maybe we save it as an elective? I think that, for core classes, we really ought to emphasize essential magical skills."

"Fine," Rowena huffed. "Then we should at least include some grammar."

"I don't think we need grammar either," Godric pointed out, "we'll just assign essays. They'll learn from experience."

Helga bit her lip. "I'm not sure that's the best-"

"Fine!" Rowena snapped loudly. She straightened out her list in front of her with a huff. "History of Magic, then."

Godric opened his mouth to argue on this one too, but Salazar cut in. "We don't need that class. Parents can teach their children History of Magic. That goes for most of the government and economy as well. Anyone from a wizarding family will come in with knowledge of wizarding history and society. We'd be better off focusing on the technical skills students need to learn from an objective source and practice in a safe environment."

The look exchanged by Godric and Helga did not go unnoticed by Salazar, and he clicked his jaw, annoyed. He had made his belief on the students who should be accepted at Hogwarts perfectly clear. They were at perfect liberty to agree or disagree, but he wouldn't cater classes to Mudbloods.

"Maybe we ought to teach that after all," Godric said in a quiet voice.

Salazar exhaled sharply through his nose.

"Yes... yes, I agree," Helga said. Her voice was also strange, and Salazar could feel her eyes on the side of his face as she spoke, but he kept his gaze trained on the crackling fire. "I think we ought to teach History of Magic for exactly that reason, Salazar. It's especially important for students who might be coming in without prior knowledge of wizarding history- or wizarding culture, for that matter."

"Why would students come to Hogwarts without prior knowledge of wizarding culture?" Salazar asked quietly.

He could hear the tension in the room, could hear Rowena scratching her quill on the parchment, pretending to scribble something important so she didn't have to contribute, could hear Godric sucking on the inside of his cheek anxiously, no doubt terrified by the fire that was surely in Helga's eyes.

"In case they're Muggle-borns," Helga explained. Her voice was kind but defiant. A less honest witch or wizard would've replied with a 'in case their parents had a tragic accident' or a 'in case they grew up in a muggle orphanage' or a 'in case their parents, who could very well still be wizards, didn't feel the need to teach them', but not Helga. For all her kind words and gentle tones, she did not beat around the bush when it came to issues she cared about. "We don't want Muggle-born students to feel ostracized, Salazar."

"Speak for yourself," Salazar hissed, but he was careful to do so in Parseltongue.

"Sorry? I didn't catch that."

"I said 'whatever'," Salazar snapped. "Do what you want. Teach History. Fine by me."

"Good. That's settled then."

Her voice was colder than it normally was. He could still feel her eyes boring into him, but he didn't give her the satisfaction of looking back. After several seconds of awkward silence, Godric cleared his throat.

"So," he said heartily, "that's seven subjects. Quite a lot for young'uns if you ask me. I don't think we should give them any more work."

"Yes, I quite agree," said Helga. Rowena looked affronted. "Again, Rowena, these children are eleven. Should we move onto electives then?"

"Arithmancy." Rowena said firmly. "Ancient Runes. Divination."

"Divination?" Godric barked with laughter. "You're joking, Rowena."

"Divination is a sacred art-"

"It's a load of bollocks,"

"It is rather ridiculous," Salazar chimed in. With enormous effort, he tore his eyes away from the fireplace to nod at Rowena. He glimpsed a smile spread across Helga's face out of the corner of his eye and turned to face her. "What do you think?"

"Well- well, it can't hurt to have it as an elective," she gave in.

"Exactly, thank you, Helga." Rowena scribbled Divination on her scroll, finishing the N with a flourish of finality. Godric groaned.

"How come she can have Divination and I can't have dueling?!"

"You do have dueling," Helga reminded, sounding slightly exasperated. "It's just called Defense Against the Dark Arts." She turned back to Rowena. "I think we should have something with magical creatures."

"Ooh!" Godric's face lit up. "We can take students into the Dark Forest, and see what creatures we find, and challenge them to daring battles of strength, talent, and courage!" He raised his sword to the ceiling with his right hand, his face shining with heroism and pride.

"These are children, Godric!" Helga shrieked. "I was thinking augeries and bowtruckles! Not acromantralas and basilisks!"

"There aren't any basilisks in the Dark Forest," Salazar said quickly.

"See?" Godric turned to Helga, grinning. "No basilisks. Perfectly safe. And even if there were," he nodded to Salazar, "Salazar'd take care of it, wouldn't he?"

"If by 'take care of it' you mean tell it to bite you," Salazar drawled, "then, yes, I suppose I would."

Godric roared with laughter. "Okay, fine. I won't take the eleven-year-olds into the forest with me. Thirteen and up."

"Godric-" Helga protested.

"I rode my first dragon at thirteen. If I can do it, so can my students." He nodded proudly.

Salazar cocked an eyebrow, smirking. "You rode a dragon at age thirteen?"

"Yes, indeed,"

"Why?" he asked, unable to keep the snickering from his tone. Sometimes (many times actually) Godric's sense of adventure was so over-the-top that it was laughable.

"I'll have you know that it was a matter of life-or-death," Godric said dramatically. He cleared his throat. "It was a dark and stormy night at Gryffindor manor, and I had the distinct feeling that something was off…"

While Godric dove into his 'the first time I rode a dragon' story, Salazar found himself staring at Rowena's class list. His stomach gave another uncomfortable lurch. He agreed with Helga, Rowena, and Godric that founding a school of witchcraft and wizardry was vital to the wizarding world. Students needed a safe place to hone their powers, where they wouldn't have to worry about persecution from Attolia or any kingdom like it. He agreed that Hogwarts was necessary, and would be a force for good in the world, and that its teachers would make a positive impact on the lives of many young witches and wizards. What he wasn't so sure he agreed with, however, was who those teachers would be. The other three assumed (quite presumptuously) that it would be the four of them who would teach at the school's beginning. Salazar was less in favor of this idea. He didn't have experience teaching anyone anything (unless he counted teaching Godric how to pick up women, a lesson that had failed and landed them both humiliatingly date-less on the night of the royal ball). He wasn't creative like Rowena, or patient like Helga, or charismatic like Godric. He doubted students would want to take classes with Professor Slytherin. The name itself made him shudder.

"Well, now that we've all been thoroughly distracted," Rowena said coldly after Godric had finished his story, settling back into his seat and looking rather pleased with himself, "I think we ought to have at least one more elective."

Godric consulted the list. "How about magical transportation? I mean, you make it sound boring, but that could actually be really fun. Flying. Floo powder. Apparition."

Helga chewed on her lip. "I'm not sure we should be teaching apparition to children when they're really young. Practice makes perfect, of course, but that might be better taught when they come of age. We don't want anyone splinching themselves."

Godric nodded, wincing. "How about brooms in first year then and apparition in sixth or seventh?" He looked around the room, chin jutted out, eyebrows raised, and, when no one disagreed with him, he clapped his hands together. "Excellent. Write that down."

Salazar craned his neck to see Rowena scribble Flying- Year 1, Apparition- Years 6 and 7 on her parchment. "That's still only a half of an elective," she explained. "We ought to have one more."

"Alchemy?" Salazar suggested.

Rowena's eyes lit up. "Perfect."

"That's brilliant, Salazar." Helga chewed on her lip thoughtfully. "But it is… rather difficult. Maybe we save it for a later year?"

Salazar shrugged in agreement. "No one who fails potions at an ordinary wizarding level would last a day in an alchemy class."

"I wouldn't last a day in an alchemy class," Godric admitted.

"Well, thankfully, you probably won't be the one teaching it," Salazar snorted.

Helga beamed.

"It'd probably be Rowena," Salazar continued. He glanced at her. "Right?"

Rowena scratched the tip of her chin with her quill thoughtfully, and Salazar saw the smile fade from Helga's face.

"That's the next thing to figure out," Helga said matter-of-factly. "What subjects we're all teaching."

Godric's face lit up, and Rowena's eyes flashed with excitement, but Salazar's stomach twisted itself into knots. As if she could see past his eyes and into his organs, Helga smiled kindly. "The four of us should be the ones teaching, Salazar. It was our idea to found the school, and, when you combine our talents, we're all more than qualified."

"Can I teach dueling?" Godric asked, bubbling over with excitement.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Rowena corrected sternly, "but yes, I suppose. Now, I think that I should teach Arithmancy, Divination, and Ancient Runes, partially out of interest and also partially because I think I'm the only one who could hold my own in that position."

Godric nodded humbly, but Helga protested, "Salazar could teach Ancient Runes!"

"Just because I can doesn't mean I should," Salazar replied with a snort, but Rowena looked thoughtful.

"Would you want Runes?" she asked.

"No," he said flatly. "Go for it. You're probably better at Latin than me anyway, being actually high-born."

Rowena met his eyes sternly, but it was Helga's kind words that made him worry. "What subjects would you like to teach, Salazar?"

After a moment's hesitation, he sighed. "If I'm being honest, Helga, which I so rarely am, but I think you deserve… I'd be a rubbish professor. I didn't think this through. I think Hogwarts is a great idea and all, but-"

There was fire in Helga's eyes, but it was Godric who spoke up first. "Rubbish!" he cried. "You're far smarter than me, and I'm doing it."

"Yes, well there's more to teaching than being smart, Godric."

"You've explained plenty to me before, and I've never had a problem learning. Half the things I know I know from you."

"Yes, but you're not…" Salazar struggled to finish that sentence. "You're not biologically a child. I'm not good with children. I've got no experience around them, and they… they sort of scare me."

"Nonsense," Helga said sharply, while Godric snorted behind her. "You're just fine with children, Salazar, and you've got no less experience than any of us."

"Yeah, okay, you might not have a lot of experience, but I can tell you're going to be good teachers anyway, because you're-"

"Because we're what?" Helga asked.

Salazar scrambled for the word. He was starting to lose his composure.

"Salazar? What do you think that we are that you're not?"

"You're good people!" He roared. Instantly, he wished he could take it back. He was on his feet now, his chest heaving, his hands shaking. The looks of shock on Rowena's face and bewilderment on Godric's were enough to make him regret his words, but it was the pain in Helga's eyes that hurt the most.

Slowly, she stood up to meet him at eye-level. Her voice trembled when she spoke. "You're good too, Salazar. I won't let you deny that."

He felt his breath catch in his throat. His eyes were burning, for some reason. Maybe he'd spent too long staring into the fire. Helga's gaze was intense, and, when he glanced around the room, Godric and Rowena looked the same. "Okay," he breathed.

"Okay?" Helga repeated. "Okay what?"

"Okay, I'll teach."

She put a hand on her hip, eyeing him sternly, and he felt a smile cross his face in spite of himself. "And?"

"And I'm a good person."

Helga nodded, looking rather determined, and then she pulled him into a hug.

"I- Helga- no!"

"Group hug!" Godric cried, and Salazar gasped in pain as a large, bearded man tackled him from the right. "Get in here, Rowena!"

"Get- off- of- me!" Salazar hissed furiously as Rowena joined the hug from Salazar's left, smirking reluctantly and shaking her head.

The four of them stood there for far longer than Salazar thought was necessary, his mouth uncomfortably close to Godric's beard and Helga's face uncomfortably pressed to his chest. "Alright, that's enough," Salazar grumbled. Godric's hugged him even tighter, his burly arm wrapping around Salazar's ribcage. "That's ENOUGH! Relashio!"

The four were blasted apart, Rowena snickering, Helga giggling, and Godric roaring with laughter. Salazar fixed his hair and huffed, disgruntled. "I'll take Potions, Alchemy, and that History class."

"Attaboy!" Godric exclaimed, messing up Salazar's hair. "I'll take dueling, Flying and Apparition, and the Dark Forest Exploration Adventure Class!"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts, Magical Transportation, and Care of Magical Creatures," Rowena corrected. "I'll take Transfiguration and Astronomy, as well as the other three electives I mentioned.

Helga beamed at each of her friends in turn. "And I'll take Charms and Herbology. Watch out future students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," she locked eyes with Salazar and he felt a smile cross his lips in spite of himself. "You've got four extraordinary teachers waiting for you."