A/N: In the common interest of shutting up and watching tv together, I sat down with my friends and watched the first episode of Bad Batch. My friends are huge Starwars fans, and it tends to rub off on you. In my case it wore on over time during a Starwars themed D campaign. My trouble with tv of any sort is that I am far to analytical for my own good, so I criticize everything until the action is good enough for me to forget that suspension of disbelief is a thing I don't have. It was about the time when my internal critic started speaking in a bad Scottish accent that I realized I was channeling my permanently angry Skakoan slicer. He/She was a scientist build that operated as a kind of droid necromancer with all the fun quirks you can imagine. By the end of the campaign I was intelligence 6 swinging 3 green dice, 3 yellow dice, and at lest 2-5 blue dice for a slicer check and had my own personal droid liberation army. Why Scottish? Because ye can take oor lives, but ye can ne'er take oor Swirblies! In that same spirit of bad taste, I give you this, my critique on they show. Caution: spoilers, bad fake accents, and smartass plot predictions.

"I know somebody"

Exiting from a hyper-space jump was never the easier part, lining up astrogation lanes was always Tech's job and he was good at it, you just never knew for sure what was waiting for you at the turn-pike. That was why it was always up to Hunter and Crosshair to keep the field clear while Tech and Echo kept the ship steady. They'd jumped into everything from asteroid fields to full on battle zones; none of this was ever any fun. At least not for anyone but Wrecker. Now that they were short one, it was all on Hunter to keep them safe. Luckily, their friend enjoyed its quiet time.

The exit zone was just at the edge of an asteroid belt, small meteorites and junk littered the little splotch of undeveloped space making radio traffic and navigation all but impossible, but that was how this particular creature liked it. They were in the shadow of the dark side of the moons off of the exoplanet but climate never stopped a skakoan before.

"Looks good so far, keep us on trajectory Echo." Said Hunter, leaning over the co-pilots chair as he scanned the seemingly empty space. "I'll send out the broadcast. You're sure it will respond? She-he-whatever it is doesn't have much of a favorable impression of us after the last time." Said Tech.

"She doesn't have a favorable impression of anyone." They shared a look as a deliberately silent Echo grimaced and sent the friendly ping. It wouldn't take long for the skakoan to sniff it out. That one was a particularly ornery example of its species, even for a creature infamous for having an attitude problem. She kept to herself and took great pains to keep it that way. In fact, she was so out of the loop that her IFF was purely based on what you did at the time, not who you were, another prime example of how isolationist tendencies could hamstring a population in wartime. Simply put, as long as you weren't too much of a pain in the backside, you could be a rebel terrorist and she wouldn't give a damn; if it fell into her lap, it got fixed. Whether it wanted to or not.

"How do you know her?" Asked Omega from behind Hunter. "We were rooting out a rebel position hidden on an asteroid belt near the Citadel; simple mop up." He answered. "They were trying to persuade her to leave with them. They didn't ask nicely."

"We managed to rout them, but Echo took a hit, she helped keep him alive and he helped her get out." said Tech. "She gave us that friendly code and coords for if slag ever hit the fan. She saw that one coming…twice I'd say." Echo looked particularly upset, but so far wasn't going to elaborate on the statement.

There was a hiss and buzz on the comms unit, a long line of binary repeating itself was their first hint that they'd been picked up. "That must be her." said Tech. "How do you know?" asked Hunter. "It's all gibberish and obscenities." He replied.

"Yep, it's her. Patch it through." The radio buzzed static as the ok signal went through. What was on the other side could only be described as archaic, metallic, and maybe even a bit glitched; it sounded like an avalanche. "Ach great yoo lot 'gain! What the flaming 'ell are you twats running aboot mah rocks fer?"

"Still haven't fixed that audio glitch huh?" Said Hunter.

"Fek off! Litrally! I dinnae do no rebel slag now an I nae doin it wit ye either! Then ye go bringin it 'ere!?"

"Slow down! We're not here on business-"
"Nae on business aye sure ya are, ya dun bringin it witcha thick 'ead!"

"Slow down-"

"Ah bet ya dun bandied aboot runnin off the order on counta be'en rejects, cannae be a social that's fer sure. Weel aint ye a Ragtag Bunch 'o Misfits fer all the dratted Bloodless Carnage action-"

"Slow down in standard!"

The transmission devolved into several different languages, all in a barbaric variety of broken accents, before dissolving into binary again. Tech leaned forward in his chair, head in his hands as he translated. "She says that Echo pinged a warning about an override when the order went out. Trust a slicer to bug your gear, sorry Echo-" He stopped short as the litany went on, paling a bit. "She also says that if we're not on recall, we're wanted men for termination. She's asking about Crosshairs too. I can't believe she saw this coming; then again they practically patented the double-cross through the trade network." Tech shrugged defeatedly, mass production of anything was always subject to sabotage, and if their kind had ever been anything it was mass produced.

"Aye." The receiver barked out that same garbled standard. "Aalways mak sure to know when ta go dark. Fat lot a good it dun fer thissin, yer fixin fer one 'ell of a Xanatos Pileup that's fer true!"

"We aren't here to cause trouble-"

"Shut it! I bet yer friend dun run off wit em eh? Who's the new lad?"

"Yes, -we don't know what happened yet, they took him away. The kid is Omega, we're betting she's in the same boat-"

"She!? Holy hell they finely cracked it!" There was a long string of static coughs that served for laughter. "Them biologics are always tink'rin ain't they. Wut's yer lot number lassie?"

"We don't have time for this! We need access to your supply cache and we need to get Crosshair under-" It was usually around this time in the conversation that Wrecker started to turn red with all the interruptions.

"Wut ye need to get im under is a blasted knife! It's nae but simple logic ya twatter! Ye droid goes wonky so ye put it to the shop and it jes comes out batshite! That's a set up tha' is. Way to go on tha Imminent Danger Clue, ow the 'ell di ye get oot?"

"We ran for it, a mechanical malfunction-"

"Aye wee lass, was yer 'andler a gel?"

Omega looked more than a little unnerved. "Was yer mammy a gel?" Hunter sighed and nodded his assent for her to answer. Things were getting truly bizarre. "Yes." That same staticky laughter filled the ship again, so loud it almost hurt. The skakoan must have been laughing its backside off. "Malfunction my arse. I tells ya, them biologics! Well thank ye lucky stars you lot, ne'er tell a woman to smash 'er own eggs, she'll sooner run ye through."

"We need to dock and resupply, we ran the scans en-route there were no tracers-"

"Ya idget, ya scanned fer baddies but did it ee'r clue yasel' in to scan fer friendlies? Besides, it's nae like ye got a long list 'o friends te run to."

The team shared a look, they probably had been gotten to, she was probably right; first rule of espionage is that there is always a tracer round somewhere. The ship had been confiscated after all. Wrecker was starting to turn redder when the radio barked again. Hunter cut it off, time to clinch the deal then. "You're right, and we've probably dragged them right to you. Which is why you're going to help us and get us on our way ASAP got it." Tech lifted a brow as he watched his teammate. If anything, it was a ballsy move but it was the kind of thing that might just get her attention. "The sooner we grab supplies, the sooner we head to our next stop, the sooner our tags think we're just buying time."

"I'll give ye but one promise, ya come to collect and ye leave a different man." That was an ominous retort but it won them some quiet, which meant they were being considered. That was headway enough for the time being. A set of coordinates were being transmitted , containing instructions to a landing zone not far away. That was as close to an invitation as they would get. "Take us in Echo." With a nod, they pushed on toward the third moon of one of the nearer exoplanets.

It was a quick job from normal space to lower down onto the moon, maybe two hours time, the color of the rock was somewhere between white and lime green. Given the nature of the situation, thorough atmospheric tests had to be done to ensure safety. The air wasn't breathable by any stretch of the imagination, but it looked like decompression wouldn't be an issue. Considering the corrosive climate, they fitted themselves out with breathers and goggles and readied for exit.

The place was small, and green with some kind of lichenous growth that never grew more than maybe an inch. The plant like substance covered the nooks and crannies in the ground and winds howled with rocks and dust. Finding themselves at the entrance to a large canyon, its rock formations eaten away by storm and sand, Hunter put a scarf around Omega to shield her face and motioned for them to step onward.

It wasn't long before they reached the mouth of the canyon, treading carefully on rock thick with secretions from the alien moss. "Somethings not right." Every hair on Hunters neck was standing up the second he hit dirt. That was when they felt it, some kind of electric charge running through the ground, and that was when they heard it, a short stuttering of binary on the commons radio channel. By then it was too late.

-

Hunter came too in the pale blue light of a metal antechamber and the feel of hard steel under his hands, his head had been bandaged. He'd been bound in solid steel at both legs, hands, and arms. He couldn't move much at all but he could look and listen. He could hear the wind howling in the canyons outside, his hands were bound clasped together and a metal collar was around his neck, its chain fixed to a side railing, clinking as he turned. Glancing carefully to his side without moving he could see Tech twitching beside him, he had a collar too, but was definitely trying to come around. What he saw in front of him made his heart stop. There on an operating table under a single glaring light was Wrecker, overshadowing him was a bulky droid looking monster of metal and it had its hands in Wreckers skull. It was the Skakoan. It was the first time Hunter had ever felt such raw terror and anger before.

"It's ok, everything's ok, right?" There she was, Omega, still with a scarf around her neck got down to her hands and knees and latched onto him in a brief gesture of support. Her hands were gritty and she looked like she'd been crying. Before he could even ask her what was happening, Techs fingers twitched as he jerked back into reality and his eyes opened. "Tech can you move? Omega what happened here?"

"Calm doon ye sod, I jes had ta put ye doon to get atcha. Couldnae risk it."

"She said she needed to fix you, to get the inhibitors out…so she used the chip and Echo-"

Hunter whirled his gaze to find Echo standing beside the skakoan, holding surgical tools and what looked to be a large blood stained heavy hydrospanner. Seeing his look, Omega probably did want to cry, he couldn't blame the kid.

"How?" Tech spasmed. "I can't move, Echo wouldn't do this willingly, you can't be using the chip, it was defective due to our aberrant code...or it was before..." The monstrous metal creature just snorted and continued working. It was an ugly sound coming across her coms. "What do you think Tech?" asked Hunter as Omega held his arm. It didn't take too long for him to figure it out. "At a guess, the same way they got Crosshair, it must have been the electricity you sensed when we set foot on this rock."

"She- she said it was enough to work but she made Echo… she made him hit Wrecker with the hydrospanner…he's a cyborg, he couldn't fight her off." Hunter turned carefully to watch as Echo went about his orders, the man looked listless with dull eyes. "That skakoan has got a reputation now, I never would have thought it would be working for the 'Empire' as it's now called." With a sigh Tech dropped his head and shook it, narrowing his eyes. "and you aren't, are you?"

"Cor not ye twatter, yer in preprogrammed lock-doon fer na. Make's this eas'r" Sparing them a glance, the skakoan reached over to pick up a medical stapler and a hemostat from the tray Echo was holding. The gloved hands of the exo-suit were bulky and thick with machinery but built for this kind of delicate work. "Jes a wee quick jimmy and wrap 'er up. CT-1409, if ye kindly would 'and me tha' syringe." Echo reached over, picking up one of the tool boxes from a shelf to follow orders. He was gaunt and sweating, he was fighting it tooth and nail.

"What exactly is her reputation these days Tech?" asked Hunter as he watched the skakoan pry away bits of skull for suturing.

"Looking at on board records shows it's name is U'rTrag, it was involved in a brief confederate action targeting one of our newer larger class battleships-"

"Ach it were nae big deal. I jes sliced into the main comms tower planet-side ta git on board the ships off-world by jacking the comms network to spread ma' self replicati'n evolution'ry virus to run hop aboot from intranet to intranet on comms frequencies an' data interfaces. It were a wee kernel mode bootkit worm overwriting tha boot code an' data references with junk code an' 404. The wee bastards got wise to me, damn thing had o'er three 'undred separate main computers what needed 'acking." Tech and Hunter shared a disconcerted look. "Once ah jimmied inna the right frequencies an' got in through contaminated manual data transfers, it was jes a quick turn round te terminate ship-board life support on the lot an' a cooli'n systems hijack and loop to get tha main battleships core te pop." (yes, this actually happened, yes, this is why my DM can't have nice things.)

"Why she did it I don't know, but she ruined half the sector for radio traffic. She's the reason the comms and data transfer cutout protocol was created."

"The bastards tol me ah couldnae crack it."

"And you're sure you know what you're doing here?" asked Hunter, more agitated then he was used to being.

"Ah got it oot a ye didn' I?" The skakoan followed up with a stutter of binary cussing.

"That's it wasn't it?" Said Tech, perking up with the epiphany. "You used audio transmission of binary codes interpreted by our brains to interface with the inhibitor programming, like a kind of memetic retrovirus. That was the binary we heard broadcast before we were electrocuted." The skakoan actually took a moment from its work to nod its assent, duly impressed. "Aye, and ah ain't leavin' the framework for another round. 'Sides, all ah gotta do is jimmie the neural uplink attachments conjoini'n the biologic bits and work ma way round the fail-safes. There's only a twenty percent chance ye'll be die'n on tha table, anna thirty summat that'll make ye a vegetable. Ah calls 'em good odds that." Nobody else looked convinced of this. "Aye ye o' little faith." Scoffed the skakoan, reaching for the tray Echo held and depositing a small bundle of wires and tissues the size of a pin head. Hunter could tell in the light that the wound on Wreckers head had been stapled up and closed carefully, Wrecker slept peacefully oblivious to the scene.

"Welp, 'ere goes the moment 'o truth!" Hunter and Tech watched as the skakoan picked up a large syringe from the tray and jammed it straight into Wreckers chest. Their eyes popped as with a strangled gasp Wrecker rose up swinging, very nearly hitting the alien. "What the hell is going on!?" Wrecker slurred as he swung and the skakoan crowed with pure pride. "Ha! Tol' ye so. 'Ere grab on this will ye." Still disoriented Wrecker simply did what he was told as he was run through a brief series of very quick manual neurologic tests. "Ver' good, ver' good!" Laughing, the alien picked up a tool from the tray and stuck it straight to Wreckers neck. The resulting jolt of electricity did the job of stunning him out again.

"Please! Don't hurt him-" The alien sighed like gravel and leaned down to look Omega in the eyes through bright red lenses. "Look lass, thissin's a biggun, got's te be careful wit it. 'Sides, this is where the fun starts. Now sit down a wee bit 'r git locked up got it?" Omega sat unhappily beside the others. "The wee lassie tol' me all 'boot yer escape. She's good with a blaster fer a first shot, ah'll bet good creds she's an abnormal designed fer genetic mem'ry and faster product whut dun ended up gett'n attached to by one them there bigjobs. Pretty resourceful tha one. Ah'd even say she was meant to be the last o' her kind, e'ry corporate big lad knows when the contract is getting' ready fer the shredder. Prol'y disnae e'n have an inhibitor." Omega drew her knees up under her arms as she sniffled a bit. She didn't like crying, she'd never really had a reason to before, sheltered by her caregivers as she'd been.

"Now CT-1409, would ye kindly put doon tha there tray an' grab yer mate and shift 'im wit me." Said the alien as she pressed a series of buttons, the vacuum seal restraints on the table releasing. Utterly compelled the cyborg set down the tray in stunted jerks and helped lift Wrecker by the shoulders. True fury had Hunter shaking in his bindings. "It's nae good is it? 'Aving yer mates twiddled wit. Ah wants ye to remember tha', which is why it's gain git worse afore it gits better." The skakoan moved with Echo to place Wrecker on the metal flooring next to them, none to gently, and checking his pulse before turning back to the table.

Picking up Omega was easy enough, too defeated to do much else and wanting to help get things over with quicker. "Ye knows the deal lass, Ah let ye run aboot to see yer mates a bit now ye needs ta stay put. Ye nae need seein' thissin. Sit tight 'ere." The skakoan placed her behind a bulkhead door in the antechamber, maybe to some kind of storage area. "Ah lets ya in 'ere to calm ye down now keep up yer end an' stay put 'ere." Hunter nodded to her as the door slid shut.

"You really intend to remove the chips entirely?" Hunter asked as he watched Omega through closing doors. The skakoan eyed him every minute of it. "Why?"

"Biology's messy innit? Children jes complicate it further." The big alien sighed as it rubbed its chin through the exo-suit as if longing for home. "My 'ome is gone now. So is yours. I want ye to 'member tha." Hunter scowled at the towering brute, making the tattoo on his face an ugly mark. "Well am glad te see yer free will is poppin' up. Good, ah wants ye to 'member why ye hates, why ah hates too."

"Wee'll start wit thissun."

The skakoan reached down beside Hunter and bodily lifted the paralyzed Tech onto the main operating table. "It's thissuns run round now. Dinnae fash yersel' wee lad won't be feeling a thing." Using the enhanced strength of the exo-suit combined with the experience of a lifetime spent in a higher-pressure environments, the alien had the limp body of Tech laid out in no time. Hunter jerked against his bindings as the creature pressed several buttons on the table causing a vacuum seal to lay him out flat and unmoving. She hadn't skimped on her precautions, he'd been bound in mag-lock landing gear. Tech was staring up into the lamplight when she gestured to Echo. "Ver good, ver good. Would ye so kindly walk a wee bit back t eyer mate?" Echo did as he was told at a jerking pace. "Tha was the 'ard part 'o it. Makin' sure ye all lot was conscious as possible. I want e'ry one o' ye to 'member this." Reaching for a handheld circular saw, the alien brought it whirring down to the skull of a still conscious man in a room full of soldiers who could do nothing but watch and obey by proxy. Tech shivered, eyes wide and the blood draining from his face as he realized what was happening. "You're insane! You can't do this!" Nothing stopped the descent of that terrible blade, he couldn't even shake with fear, paralyzed and bound to the operating table as he was. "Now, CT-1409, would ye kindly beat the livin' 'ell outta ye mate Hunter while ah work. A be need'n sa' music fer the quiet, jes don't be killi'n 'im."

Pale and shocked, Hunters eyes widened as the screaming started, and Echo set about his task.

It felt like it had gone on for hours as Echo was forced into carrying out orders, his cyborg body had been compromised and there was no stopping the overriding machine code commands. After the second kick to the kidneys, Hunter had never hated a skakoan so much in his life. By the fifteenth blow to face, blood pouring from a broken nose and breathing gurgled in spit and cracked ribs, Hunter could feel a hatred for his creators like no other growing in him. Tech had stopped screaming as much as he could, holding himself together by the ragged edge as forceps retracted from his naked skull with that same little assortment of metal and flesh.

"Tha's the end 'o it CT-1409. Would ye kindly fetch me a tray." Echo took the order, the man was red in the face in ways they'd never thought possible before. Hunter hadn't fared well either, he was covered in bruises, maybe missing a few teeth, and beaten to a pulp.

"That son of a bitch! He had us slated for execution from the start!" With the inhibitor technology finally fully gone from his system, Tech was able to put two and two together and express actual pain. "The training room wasn't the set up for the final test, we were supposed to kill them, we were supposed to die! We were a damn serial number!"

The Skakoan laughed long in fits of coughing static. "Now there's ye smarts lad, 'boot time ye got pissed off fer the lot 'o it." Tech took a moment to shake angrily on the table, so much information and emotion was going through his head, he'd never felt anything like it before. Finally, finally there was outrage for the grand design and the pawns that lived it. Hot angry tears fell from his eyes, still sealed to the table as he was, his tone was hateful and incredulous. "What the hell are we!? Created and bred to die on the battlefield, now without a damn battlefield we're resigned to the incinerator; just because we aren't damn drones for orders!" Hunter had never seen the man show so much emotion before, eyes bloodshot himself, he wondered why they'd never felt this way before, even though deep down in a place that hurt, he already knew why. They weren't supposed to care, they were supposed to be used and thrown away. He decided for himself that anger was an emotion he could get used to, and the damn alien was giving them a crash course.

"Nae nae, dinnae go on 'aving an existential crisis on me now lad." The skakoan took a stapler kit from the tray Echo brought to him, setting about replacing the skull fragment and closing the wound with a careful suturing. Tech pulled against the vacuum seal as hard as he could but there was no give and he saw no reason to calm down, what with part of his skull being replaced. Drawing from a small glass vial using special built in manipulators the skakoan tapped Tech on the arm before driving the needle home. "Be glad ye gets the gent'ler goin'." Twitching and frothing a bit Tech set to cussing the alien out in a long string of multiple different languages, tapering of into slurred mumbling as his struggling finally gave way to unconsciousness and the collar was removed.

"Ah wants ye to know this, see this, all o' it. Cause yer the lead man an' it's yer team, yer lads. Ye earned this, all o' ye did." Hunter looked at her, one eye swollen shut and his lip split open. "Dinnae go playin' Catch With Idiot Ball again got it!" He nodded. If this was punishment for loosing Crosshair, so be it. If this was revenge for the persecution of Skako minor, so be it. This had given them the tools they needed to fight back for the first time ever, it would have to be good enough.

Ur'Trag pressed the switches again and the tables vacuum seal shut out. She picked up the unconscious soldier almost gently, placing him down beside Wrecker. "E's a smart one, it's gain to hurt most fer 'im. Look after 'im, got it?" An answering nod was all she needed. "Now time fer the ugly one." Gesturing to the table, she gave the order. "CT-1409, would ye kindly lay yersel' doon on the table lad." Echo jerked, twitched, and carried out the order until all he could see was the lights of the impromptu operating theater. It was when the vacuum seal engaged again that the cyborg really started to put up a fight. "Nothin' overrides an' inhibitor system quite like real pure terror." Echo shook, garbled curses sputtering. "Nae fearin' love, be done in a jiffy." In a surprising act of mercy, reaching forward the skakoan laid a large gloved hand to his shaking body, chest heaving as the scientist jacked in from the other side. Moving the hand to cover the cyborgs eyes, as if wanting to take back the trauma itself by force of will, Echo was deactivated and sedated for work.

-

When his teammates had come around again, it was to the sight of their own roof and their own bunkbeds, secure in their own ship. With one hell of a headache. Consciousness came with differing thoughts and opinions. Tech had withdrawn into himself, knees pulled up to his chest as he shook with anger and tears. Echo looked listless and no little bit broken of will, nightmares having been made real again it was all he could do to just stare at the walls and ground himself to the feeling of the sheets beneath him. For Wrecker, it wasn't something that could be comprehended, just felt and probed, feeling true freedom from something other than total mayhem.

Omega sat next to Hunter in front of the bulkhead door of their ship. The skakoans own ship had taken off some time ago and it was no doubt that despite the asteroid fields disruptive properties and hiding in moon shadow, there would be inbound company, and soon. She looked at him with sad eyes, as if coming to a brutal understanding of just where they now stood in the universe. "She keeps her promises." Said Omega. None too worse for wear, Hunter nodded. "So do I." For once there was real true steel in his eyes, turning to look at the donated weapons cache now stowed in the hold.

"We're coming for you crosshair."

A/N: In conclusion: good story so far, solid premise, looking forward to seeing where it goes. Now turn those cardboard cutouts into characters! This is Disney though, so let's cross our fingers.