This was initally written a few years back and I forgot to post it (oops) but then I went back and edited it because I realized I screwed up with how I said Dean and James knew each other. This is part of my Braeden Pamphlet series, and although you don't need to read the first part to understand it, it will make more sense context-wise.

First Part: Say No to This

Content warning: implied/reference to an abusive relationship and physical abuse (it's Lisa/OMC dw), as well as reference to cheating.

Enjoy!

October 2017

The temperature has just begun to drop as the last of summer slips away from New York, leaving fall behind in her path. Many of the trees have turned red and gold, their leaves no longer green with the impending winter on its way and despite the chill, draws folks out from their warm houses and buildings to go for a walk, even just a short one, to enjoy the beautiful sight. And, even the busiest of beings in New York found their steps slowing, just a bit, as they passed the brilliant trees, taking in the stunning colours that time and time again, never ceased to amaze. The now colourful trees bring fall markets, offering apple cider and hot chocolate to warm bellies, pumpkin pie and spiced goods that are perfect for the approaching Thanksgiving holiday.

On one particular October evening, one couple finds themselves wandering through a small market set up in the park, taking a break from their busy lives. They don't do this often, what with Dean always seeming to have a neverending case and workload, but it seems they've gotten lucky, and Cas smiles at that. He's missed the moments where it was just him and Dean before Dean had become a hugely successful lawyer, himself a big name psychologist, and interruptions, and work, and then so much more.

(Not that he personally had anything against Dean's success, he was happy for his husband. But sometimes, when it was just him sitting at the dinner table, eating alone, or lying in their bed, Dean's side cold, he wished that Dean was a little less busy. He wasn't selfish but was it too much to want to spend some time with your husband?)

Regardless of all that, now they were here, walking hand in hand. Dean bumps his shoulder lightly and Cas, torn from his thoughts, turns his head to look up at Dean with a bright smile. Cas returns the smile, chest warm.

"I missed this," he admits. "You've been so busy lately, and it feels like we never have a chance to do anything together anymore."

Guilt flashes in Dean's green eyes and the man sighed. "I'm sorry," Dean tells his husband. He looks ready to say more, perhaps apologize more, but Cas speaks again.

"I know. It's okay, really. I understand that being a big successful lawyer means lots of people want you to help with their cases and that's fine."

Dean squeezes his hand. "God, what'd I ever do to deserve a husband so forgiving as you, Cas? Most folks would've hightailed it outta here a while back."

"Guess I'm not like most folks," Cas tells him, squeezing his hand back. "Besides, I knew that should you become one of those big-name lawyers that you'd be really busy. And you're helping people, how could I be mad with that?"

His husband kisses his lips softly, feeling Cas melt into it. Dean feels something tug at his heart, something dark and twisted and he pushes it away. He doesn't want to feel guilty, but it's hard not too after hearing his husband's words. Cas is too good for him. And that makes Dean feel even worse. He doesn't deserve a man like Cas.

"Hey, you think you'd be able to come with me and Gabriel again next weekend?" Cas asks as they make their way past one stall selling knitted scarves and gloves. "He's coming up to visit and is convinced Florida's got better pies than New York."

"Florida? Better pies than us? As if," Dean laughs, and Cas' smile grows.

"So you'll come?"

He sounds hopeful, waiting for his husband to say yes. Dean's aware of all the work he has to finish, the papers sitting on his desk that he's neglected to do and the extra cases he plans to pick up at the firm next week. But the look Cas gives him makes him pause, realizing all that Cas puts up with him. And maybe, a couple hours can't hurt him too much. He'll catch up.

"And see Gabriel be proved wrong? Wouldn't miss it for anything," he tells Cas and if Cas' smile was big before, this one tops it.

God, Dean loves that smile. It's one that isn't constant, visible every day for the world to see. It's the smile that's reserved for very few lucky people, the kind that can light up even the darkest room Cas might be in. It's the smile that rivals that of the sun, warm like fresh clothes out of the dryer, encircling you like a thick fluffy blanket. It was the same smile that made Dean first fall in love with Cas for, the way it made the corners of his eyes crinkle up slightly, the way that caused his whole body to feel fuzzy and light.

That smile he hadn't seen in god, what was it? Weeks? Months? Dean wasn't quite sure, and if his heart wasn't already blackened with guilt, it now was, heavy like lead in his chest.

"I love you," he tells his husband, as if that'll make his heart any lighter.

"I know. I love you too."

It doesn't get any lighter. In fact, Dean's heart sank lower in his chest as he noticed the familiar figure at the candle booth up ahead. He hopes it's a manifestation of his guilt, a trick his brain is playing on him, but as the couple moves closer towards the candle booth, Dean realizes that his brain isn't messing with him. His luck is really just shitting because with a city of a population roughly 8.5 million, Dean's managed to run into none other than Lisa Braeden. And she isn't alone either, as her husband moves in right behind her.

Shit.

He hopes they won't notice him, won't try to stop and make polite conversation because the last thing Dean needs is something to slip from the lips of either party, revealing wicked deeds. Holding his breath, Dean sends a prayer to God, hoping against hope that they'll pass Lisa and James, pass the damn candle stand and disappear into the crowd around them. But Lady Luck has never been on his side, and Karma's more of a bitch than usual because James turns around, ready to leave, just as Dean and Cas pass the stand.

The man catches Dean nervous eyes, a smirk spreading across his lips. A shudder runs down Dean's back and it's like he was dunked under a spray of ice-cold water.

Please don't say anything. Please, oh god, don't-

"Why, Mr. Novak-Winchester, what a pleasure it is to see you," James says, polite and charming as ever. "You come to enjoy the lovely market as well?"

Dean can't try and run, nor can he keep walking with Cas, pretending he didn't hear. Cas hears James, and has stopped walking to look over at him. This, in turn, leaves Dean no choice but to engage in a conversation he'd rather not be having.

"It's a nice break from all the work I have," Dean says slowly, answering the man's question. He does his best not to grit his teeth, to sound cheery and like he was talking to a well-minded acquaintance.

James then turns to his wife, placing a hand on her arm. "Lisa, darling, look who I just happened to bump into."

Dean doesn't miss the small flinch that comes when James touches her, and he wonders how hard James is holding her arm, what other things he might've done to her. Lisa doesn't fit him, complying and turning to look at Dean and Cas with dark, hesitant eyes. It's then, when she turns, angling her body to face them that Dean notices the child she had resting on her hip. He can't be older than three, but it still throws Dean through a loop.

She has a kid.

He was speechless, staring at the baby. Never once had there been any hint of a child, or at least Dean was pretty sure there hadn't been any signs. But here was the proof - Lisa had a kid. He had been not only sleeping with a married woman, but one that had a young child, and somehow that sat funny in his chest.

"Ah, but where are my manners?" James' voice cuts through the conflict brewing in Dean's mind. The man extends a hand to Cas, relaxed, poised. "James Braeden."

Cas shakes the hand, wearing a smile. "Castiel Novak-Winchester." His brain doesn't register James' shark-like grin as threatening, doesn't notice the darkness in the man's gaze, and most definitely doesn't notice his husband's inner turmoil. "Do you work with Dean?"

James laughs, giving a shrug, and Lisa shrinks back, while Dean waits for his response, holding his breath.

"No, never got lucky enough to do so," James teased with an easy grin. "We both went to Law school together, and for a short period, had interned at the same firm together. Unfortunately, he got scooped up by a different firm than me," he continues, with a good-natured tone. James talks as if they were close - friends almost - that had eventually gone distant with time and circumstances, not that he was blackmailing Dean for having an affair with his wife.

"Our firm had been hoping he'd join after leaving law school, but Dean always told me how much he had wanted to be a part of Roman's firm and when Dean sets his mind to something, well, there just ain't no changing it, is there?" James jokes, and Cas chuckles, agreeing with him.

Dean doesn't laugh though, and Lisa gives only the faintest of smiles. For Dean, he knows how sly James can be, and a quick glance at Lisa's face proves this is all for show. The man's an excellent actor, silver-tongued and sweet like honey. He could easily win over anyone, and Dean can imagine how that's worked in his favour for numerous things. Maybe, if Dean didn't know the man's ability, he'd fall for it too.

His husband looks ready to reply before the toddler on Lisa's hip lets out a grumpy huff, squirming in his mother's grasp. He doesn't appear to be pleased with the adult's small talk, or the fact they haven't kept moving and wandering the stands. Lisa frowns, and talks to him in a low voice, trying to soothe the grumpy toddler, but it doesn't work as the boy squirms more.

"Here, Lisa, I can take Ben," James tells her, reaching for the child but she shies away from her husband, shaking her head softly.

"It's fine, James." Her voice is still rather quiet, not as loud as her husband's and she doesn't quite look at him. Instead, she's looking down at Ben, trying to readjust him on her hip, promising the boy that they'll get going soon. Her actions are all stiff, jerky as she moves, and it dawns on Dean, the hesitance, her reluctances to let James near Ben. It may be a reach, but maybe her begging and distraught rambling from when he had first approached her about the email, hadn't been for herself.

("Please, I had no choice! I had to do this or he'd hurt-")

Maybe it wasn't herself she was protecting. Maybe her wails and crying and pleads that he ignored, focusing only on himself, how it'd wreck himself, were for her son. For Ben. Maybe it had been like that this whole time, her trying to keep her son safe from her abusive husband, and if it meant creating this whole mess, then as long as Ben was safe, Lisa probably wouldn't care how far or how bad it might get.

He sighs, eyes never leaving Lisa.

James shifts beside her, in Dean' peripheral, looking over at Cas. "Mr. Novak-Winchester, sorry, Castiel, I do hope you don't mind but would I be able to speak quickly with you? It's nothing serious, I promise. Rather, I know you do quite a bit of philanthropist work, and having read your recent paper, I was wondering if you could provide me with a few tips or places to start to look towards more green methods at the firm? I've found a few things online, but it all seems rather intimidating," he confessed.

Cas frowned, tilting his head. "I don't supposed it'll take too long?" he wonders, not wanting to ignore the man outright and seem rude, but at the same time, the goal of his and Dean's outing had been to escape things work related.

"Heavens no! I wouldn't want to take up all the spare time you have with your husband! Lord knows he works so often that he never has spare time it seems," James exclaims with a hand over his heart, and Dean catches the not too subtle jab towards himself.

(He did have some freetime and Mr. Braeden was aware of it. Especially how Dean chose to spend that freetime)

"Very well." And the two step away for a few moments to talk, a bit more privately, while Dean is left with Lisa and Ben.

He waits, just to be sure Cas is gone completely before turning to face Lisa. "You didn't tell me you had a son!" He whispers harshly, and she nods, moving on to the next booth, where Dean follows her.

"I do."

"And you're still staying with James? Geez Lisa, leave him!"

Lisa seems to scan the table in front of her, not listening to Dean.

"If not for your own sake, do it for Ben," Dean continues and she exhales softly.

"Who's to say I'm not doing this for Ben's sake? Staying is better. James…" she pauses, swallowing and Dean watches as her eyes dart over to where James has vanished too before falling back onto the objects on the table. "James won't hurt him. He never does. He loves Ben. Besides, it's always been just me, Dean."

"You can't be sure."

"But he's acting nicer to me Dean, sweeter like he was before. He smiles, gets me gifts -" She talks a bit louder, trying to sound happy. There's false hope lacing her words, and they sound rehearsed, like she's an actress who memorized a script on what to say. She ultimately false at convincing him, and in turn, Dean's sure even she's not fooling herself with the situation she's in.

"Lisa, listen to me. This is just a phase, like you told me before. He won't be nice forever, and you know that."

She doesn't answer. Ben shifts, quiet for once, staring up at Dean with wide hazel eyes.

"You haven't come over for a while," she says instead, changing the topic quickly. "James leaves tomorrow for a business trip. All week he'll be gone. It'll just be us."

She forces herself to smile, to hide how she feels and to make it look almost kind.

Dean shakes his head, moving away from her. "I can't, Lisa. I can't do this anymore."

She looks hurt, her smile drooping. "You don't want me anymore," Lisa mutters, and they both know what she's saying is a bit cruel. They're both married, and she has a kid - this affair is wrong in so many ways and to expect Dean to keep visiting her… Lisa turns away from him. "I sound pathetic, don't I?"

"No. Lisa, this- I just - don't you realize how much a sh...crap storm this is? You having a kid, both of us married?"

"I know it's a mess, Dean," she confesses. "Trust me." Lisa glances once more at James before meeting his eyes. "I know. But you've done so much for me, you've helped me so much, why can't I repay you for it?"

When Dean bits his lip, she adds, "You don't have to spend the night even, if that's what's worrying you. I miss you."

That hesitant smile is back, and she reaches for his hand, her fingers brushing his before pulling away. It's Dean's turn to now look over his shoulder for his husband before his eyes flicker back to Lisa's.

"I can come by saturday evening," he says softly, the words sour and bitter on his tongue.

(what about Gabriel? Didn't you promise Cas you'd three go down to the market together? His mind whispers, softly. He ignores it.)

A flicker of something danced behind Lisa's dark eyes for a moment before vanishing. She nods quickly. "Saturday evening," she repeats quietly, her smile softening to something a bit more genuine.

"But that's it." He takes a step away from her. "What about Ben?"

"My neighbour, Susanna, will watch him. She always loved Ben." Lisa looks over at Ben. "You wanna see Suzie this weekend Benny?" She asks in a cheerful voice to her son, who nods, giggling.

"Suzie!" Ben says in agreement, oblivious to what his mother's conversation was really about.

Dean gives her a look and Lisa pretends it doesn't bother her.

"She won't ask questions. She...Ben's stayed over sometimes, when James and I have needed some time to ourselves," she explained briskly, and Dean's not an idiot to know that doesn't mean the two of them having date nights or sex. But, before he can say anything, he spots Cas and James making their way back through the crowd.

That kills whatever conversation he and Lisa were having, and stepping back, he allows

space between himself and Lisa.

"I do hope I didn't steal too much of your evening away," James frets when the four are together again. He looks over at Dean and if Dean didn't know him, he might actually believe the man was genuinely worried for bothering the two.

"It was nothing, really," Dean tells him, trying not to narrow his eyes at the other man, and Cas speaks as well, stating it wasn't any problem.

"Well, we best be heading out now, it's getting late and wouldn't want Ben to be cranky tomorrow from lack of sleep." He moves to his wife's side and Lisa subtly brings Ben closer to her chest. "Do take care, and Castiel, thank you again for your advice. I'll be sure to pass it on to the rest of the team."

Cas nods, bidding them goodbye. "Lisa, I wish we could've had the chance to talk," he adds, offering a friendly smile to the woman. Dean tries to mimic it, knowing it surely looks more like a grimace.

"Me too," Lisa says kindly in a tone that's almost apologetic. She adjusts Ben, and bids Castiel goodbye before turning to follow James. Dean watches as she leaves, and as, just before they completely disappear into the crowd, James grabs her and she tenses up. But that's all he can see before the crowd swallows them up, and Dean focuses back on his husband.

"You okay?" Cas worries and Dean forces himself to laugh.

"Yeah, I'm good. Are you ready to head home as well, or you wanna look at a few more booths?"

"A few more booths, if you don't mind."

Dean swallows the bitter bile in his throat and nods, slipping his hand into Cas' lacing their fingers together. "Nah, I don't mind."

The kiss on his cheek burns like acid and his heart weighs like a rock as Dean follows his oblivious husband through the crowd.

Did i forget to say this series will not be very Dean positive? oops. Anywho, leave a review/comment to let me know what you thought!

The next fic in this series is I'm Burning the Memories or as I like to call it, Cas finds out about the affair and gets a little arson, as a treat :) If you guys want to yell at me about fanfics/anything spn, go or tma (my most recent obsession), you can find me on tumblr at thismasterpieceofmine

-Twist