He was exhausted, downed with a near tangible weariness weighting itself all the way down to the bone.
Glancing at his brother right beside him, he eyes the multiple wounds with blood, both oozing fresh and flecks drying. He looks thin, thinner than when he saw him in Alabasta, and, like him, tired.
They were probably both drained to maximum capacity.
But at the same time, they just needed a little longer - they were almost there, he could see the end coming closer and closer.
He can't stop the smile that's daring to break out on his face - he made it! He'd saved Ace, his brother would be fine!
A pang in his heart goes out to Giant man moustache. But at the same time, the respect he'd had for the man who Ace had called for 'pops' grew tenfold.
It's a captains duty to protect the crew, right down till the end. That's what Giant man moustache had been doing.
He can almost touch the freedom on his fingertips, breath huffing and almost gone - they're almost there.
But then Ace stops.
Luffy's always had the uncanny ability to be in-tune with his nakama and family when fighting together - he notices, even though he can't really see him any more due to the black spots in his vision, he feels his brother stop and turn around.
He can't hear what's going on, his hearing gave out a couple seconds ago, everything sounds muted and dull, he can hardly even hear his own heartbeat.
But maybe that's just the weariness.
"Ace what are you doing!? We have to go!"
He yells (at least he thinks he does, based on the constant ache in his throat he may very well be whispering or talking normally, but he's pretty sure it's a yell) but his brother doesn't react, back still turned and walking towards one of the admirals.
He's about to run over, to stop and clutch Ace's arm and drag him out of Marineford - but his vision blurs and the dark spots in the corners dances all around, he can barely see anything, he thinks he feels the hot sensation of blood running from his nose in overextension.
He takes as many deep breaths as he possibly can right now while his knees give out beneath him, fighting to keep himself awake. He'd punch the ground, the pain would wake him up, but he doesn't have the energy to do it.
Instead he bows as close to his arm that he can and bites, bites as hard as possible. All the while, keeping his spotty vision on his brother, who dodges a lava-coated fist and is sent flying by a timed kick instead. Ace lands on his head, and if his vision can be trusted, it looks like his brother's frame is shaking. He might've gotten a concussion from that, or have reached his limit.
This makes Luffy bite down that much harder, till he breaks rubber skin and the taste of iron floods his mouth.
He cannot have come this far and let it all be for naught.
Akainu walks, stalks more like a hunter cornering it's pray, closer to his brother who still hasn't gotten up, who's sitting on his knees and is clutching his head.
The admirals stance changes and Luffy finally - finally feels some adrenaline start back up - he activates gear second, in his current state he might be able to hold it for about 10 seconds, but it's enough. He Has to do something - his body moves on it's own.
One moment he's tensing his legs with a knuckle against the ground and in the next, he's looking at Ace who in turn is staring up at him wide eyed.
The pain doesn't register after that.
He'd been in constant pain the last bit of time since he woke up, but this is nothing compared to that, it's almost so much he feels numb to it.
His vision is darkening rapidly, but he can't see or hear Ace, he reaches out where he last remembered his face to be and touches it - traces it.
That's good, his brother's alive and warm. He leans in, as close as possible till he sees him, they're forehead to forehead.
Ace is crying? That can't be right, Ace never cries.
He dries the tears with bloody thumbs, but he doesn't notice the latter.
"It's alright Ace I'm not mad, you fulfilled your promise" he tells him, because he figures they're tears of fear. If it were him he'd feel bad for having nearly broken a promise. But Luffy isn't angry because Ace is alive and thus no promises has been broken.
The relief is so instantaneous he feels his body collapse and give out beneath him, and despite Ace catching him he doesn't feel the warmth of the other.
All he feels his cold, yet somehow he can't find it in him to care - he hugs Ace back as much as possible and finally gives in to his body's scream of rest.
As black consumes his mind, Luffy feels fulfilled.
-
Ace knows.
He shouldn't have turned around, he should've kept going and ignored that bastard's taunts of his father and captain.
But he didn't, he let his pride consume him and left behind freedom (and, even though he doesn't want to admit it, by extension Luffy) and turned around.
Akainu's taunts and remarks were predictable, classical comments on his father's condition, bribes at Ace's feelings - and even though he knew, he couldn't, no, Wouldn't just run away listening to words on his captain, his Pops, like that.
He hears Luffy call to him (and ignores the stab of guilt at how wrecked he sounds,) telling him to stop, but like the fool he is he ignores it.
The admiral pokes jab after jab at him, riling him up successfully. By the time his brain turns back on, he barely manages to dodge a lava-coated fist.
Instead he falls to the ground and hits his head hard enough for it to cause him to pause as he regains his clarity while the world rings in his ears.
Everything's spinning and unsteady, and the dull throb of pain in his skull coats his palm in red as he clutches it.
He's tired, and fighting to stay awake.
But if he'd just kept on going this wouldn't have happened and he'd been out in safety.
His lungs hurt and exhale shakily, he feels an incoming heat and sweat dries quickly on his skin.
Looking up at the Akainu who's readying another attack, Ace closes his eyes and waits.
Waits for his punishment - for the consequences of his actions, and, ultimately, redemption.
He hasn't given up, and doesn't want all of his family's effort to save him be for naught, but..
His limbs feel too heavy, his vision is swimming and white spots are dancing around in his eyes.
He couldn't move away in time even if he wanted to.
And that's another thing.
Luffy's behind him.
If Ace dodged, the admiral could change targets.
So he sits, and waits.
Death is a peaceful thought amidst the noise of war and the still ringing in his ears.
'I'm sorry, Luffy... I don't think I can keep my second promise to you.'
2) I won't die.
If there's something he finds comforting in this, it's that he'll see Sabo and Thatch again. His mother. And he can tell them, tell Him, that he fulfilled his duty and protected their weakling crybaby brother.
Except... He's gotten strong. He's not a crybaby anymore.
'Ah. If there's one regret I have, it's that I won't get to see him fulfill his dream. I know he'll do it though, if anyone could do it it's him." He thinks bittersweetly.
Heh.. Guess I'm really no good, huh? Breaking promises here and there.'
It's funny, how even though he's literally seconds from dying, it feels like he's waiting an eternity.
He feels the warmth getting closer, and shuts his eyes in trepidation.
He smiles.
'Thank you for loving me. I'm so proud of you, Luffy. I love you so much, my little brother. Goodbye.'
He doesn't bother voicing any of his thoughts out loud, he doubts Luffy can hear him right now anyway, be it the distance or the injuries.
"Enjoy your trip to hell, devil spawn!"
Unbelievably hot air rushes into his face, he waits with baited breath and feels it as warm droplets lands on his face.
Wait.
There's... No pain.
It's deadly quiet, the ringing having died down some, he hears rough exhales and wet squelches. He inhales, expecting hot air, but..
All he gets is the scent of iron, but above that and much much more prominent is the smell of burning rubber.
His eyes snap open in panic.
An action he regrets doing.
Standing in front of him, with a now burning black hole in his chest - is Luffy.
Luffy, who's glowing steaming pink skin resumes to normal tan resembling his own, Luffy who's dark thick hair somehow always smells like the ground, who's clothes are spotted with lava and burns, skin that's melting like rubber, and blood, so - so much blood that's cascading down in rivers.
He brings a hand to his face where he felt the droplets land.
It comes back red.
His brother walks closer to him, he doesn't register the many shouts of wrath, the screams around him nor does he see Akainu being attacked.
All he sees is Luffy with his sunshine-esque personality and aura, Luffy - his most precious treasure.
Luffy who's paling fast and is still clutching Ace's vivre card, who's blood is painting the floors.
His eyes are unfocused, so much that he's pretty sure Luffy can't see him right now. His brother reaches out with wet hands and trace his face, he leans into the touch unconcsiously. It feels like time has stopped, he can't feel himself crying nor the sting of his eyes. He doesn't feel Luffy drying and smearing blood on his freckled cheeks.
Luffy's trying to talk, but his voice is completely shut, all Ace can make out is ''sokay, n't ma'".
He feels his brother exhale, feels it on his face and tastes it on his breath.
He doesn't feel another exhale, and Luffy slumps in his arms, his brother's fingers limply clinging to his back.
Something in Ace breaks-
-
When Shanks arrives, he gets the feeling that something is very Very wrong.
He realises a moment later it's too quiet.
The fighting hasn't stopped, not at all, but a lot of the people on the battlefield looks frozen (and not because of Aokiji,) and some of the warlords either look ecstatic (Doflamingo, Moria,) and some look horrified (Hancock, Jinbei).
And that's when a shriek, so utterly devastating and soul crushing permeates the air.
It makes his hackles go up in instinct, and barely a second later he starts off in the direction.
Because it sounds familiar.
No one gets in his way, but mostly it seems that people hasn't actually noticed him yet except for a few.
From where he's running, he spies the fleet admiral in the distance, who's looking guiltily at Garp, who looks more emotionless than he's ever seen him.
The closer he gets to the shriek, the more the raunchet scent of burning rubber clings to his nose, and further increases the wires in his gut.
He's always had good instincts, always trusted them and they've saved the lives of his nakama more times than he could count on his hand.
Yet, for the second time in his life, he's begging them to be wrong.
Please let him be wrong.
He's never wrong.
When he comes up at the scene, mere shock takes hold of his veins and causes him to stumble.
In front of him, on his knees, is Portgas D. Ace. Shrieking, screaming his heart out as he's clutching to a lifeless body in his arms.
They're both covered in blood, unmistakingly the source of it being the large fist-sized hole in the other one's torso.
Despite not seeing the person's face, he knows exactly who it is.
Anchor..
He hasn't known Ace for long.
They've met frequently as the freckled man had come to thank him for saving his little brother's life, an act that warmed Shanks heart to the point of drinking the last couple of hangovers away and make way for another one.
Luffy, the crew's little anchor, had found a family who cared for him. Nothing could have made him happier.
It was about as high on the list as when they'd gotten the boy's first bounty (which Shanks still carried with him) and they'd partied to celebrate for days on end.
He's never seen the teen so still before.
The melted skin and visible bone makes it very obvious as to who the perpetrator was.
And while Shanks knows the risici for setting out as a pirate, knows Luffy knew too - he can't help but wish to absolutely decimate the bastard who took away their Anchor's dream.
However, from the looks of it, Luffy did this willingly. Luffy must've protected his brother.
Shanks can't help the bubbles of sorrowful pride that bubbles within him.
The warlock, Jinbei, tries to make Ace move and leave the battlefield. Akainu may have been knocked down for now, but it'll surely not last long.
But the freckled man won't move - he's clutching his brother to his chest, eyes unseeing and shoulders shaking in a frenzy. He's crying hysterically.
On the ground beside them, Shanks spots Luffy's strawhat. It looks well cared for, despite the blood pool around it.
He goes to pick it up, but as soon as his hands touch it a growl rings out and his haki alerts him to incoming flame.
Despite that, it feels like the temperature drops and goosebumps break out on his skin. A few of the foot soldiers around them drops like flies.
Conqueror's haki - interesting. He's not surprised, knew Ace had the potential, he just wishes it'd been unlocked on better terms.
Ace mumbles something, but he can't understand it from the sheer anguish colouring the man's voice. However, he's sure that the message is something along the lines of;
"Don't touch that, that's Luffy's hat"
He sends out his own ripple of haki to meet the unruly waves coming from Ace.
Making sure it's not enough to knock him out, but just enough to slam him 'awake', the freckled man jolts as if slapped and blinks up at Shanks.
He hears his breath hitch, watches him as he calmer than before slowly lets go of Luffy, just slightly, enough so that he can stroke blood matted dark locks.
As he watches Ace's lip wobble and tears cascade in rivers from his eyes, being a broken record of apologies, he's hit with a wave of unwelcome nostalgia.
It's a bit of a revelation to him, the similarities to Ace and Anchor's mechanisms, the way they carry themselves.
He can tell even now. When he'd first met the freckled man, he'd been pretty drunk most of the time, but during the few days after Ace'd left them the crew's conversations were filled with talks of Anchor and how alike the brothers were.
Right now it's a bittersweet sting.
Picking up the strawhat, he turns to look at Jinbei.
"If you get the chance, give this to Ace."
The previous warlord looks at him in silent contemplation, likely trying to pierce together the reason for his appearance, and now, the reason for his grief.
The man accepts the hat with a bow.
"I will keep it safe in place of Strawhat. Thank you."
Shanks nods.
Glancing at Luffy one last time, he smiles. But now isn't the time for any sorrow filled acts.
It's time for this event to come to a close.
However, he does all himself one simple thing as he unsheathes his sword.
"Goodnight, Anchor"
Stepping closer and allowing his haki to fill the field like a weighted blanket, it assures him that he has everyone's attention.
"I have come to end this war"
When Law decided to head towards Marineford, he'd mostly done so because of a hunch, and because he hoped to save a powerwolf pirates life, who he could later form an alliance with in the new world.
But what he hadn't expected was to find the pirate who's life were supposed to have ended, the star of the show, Porgas D. Ace, clinging to a lifeless body in his arms.
He hadn't expected to see a former warlord attempt to separate the two, and he definitely had Not expected Akagami Shanks to be here.
His eyes trace the limp figure in Fire-fists lap, and follows an invisible outline to the bloody strawhat that the ex-warlord were holding for dear life.
What comes as the biggest surprise to him though, is his desire to help Fire-fist.
Not for an ulterior motive, not for any debt.
But because of the familiar ache of loss that's hanging over him, stuck his body like an anchor.
Because, he knows how it feels to have family die for you, and to watch it happen.
It happens though. This world is cruel - there's no avoiding it, because no one's special and tragedy happens to everyone.
Death is impartial - There's no especially terrible death. That's why death is so fearsome. Your deeds, your age, your personality, your wealth, your beauty: they are all meaningless in the face of it. It happens to everyone, and the ambiguity of it all is scary.
You know exactly what happens, but at the same time you have no idea at all.
Yet, at the same time, every death is terrible.
Because while humans themselves are replaceable, each and every person expendable and meaningless, people Find ways for themselves to Have a meaning.
And to lose that, well that's the terrible thing, isn't it?
It's the emotions that does it, the emotions that ties meanings together.
Everything you feel is meaningful to you as a person, your friends, family, relationships, all of it - is what makes it terrible.
So he gets it.
The wrecked horror etched look on Fire-fists face as he clutches the last of his family, with wide eyes unseeing of all but red, replaying the moments over and over again in his vision.
Clining on the last pieces of warmth emanating from the body in his lap, as if somehow that'd mean it was a dream. That he truly did not just lose what may have been everything.
Law doesn't step in, just watches on as the ex-warlord keeps trying to separate the two, watches Fire-fist scream till he's coughing up blood, and in the end the man decides to knock him out.
"Follow me to my ship. I'll save his life and treat his injuries, yours, too. But we need to go now "
He carefully slings Fire-fist onto his shoulder, still holding onto the bloody straw hat.
The previous owner lays on the ground, eyes still half open and lax, chest and hole exposed surrounded by melted skin. Before they leave, Law bends down and closes his eyes fully and, using a piece of the ruined vest, covers the boy's face.
Now armed with the currently most dangerous prisoner, they focus all their might on running towards the water where Law's submarine is parked. He thinks he sees some of Red-hair's crew back them up, all with tears on their faces. He definitely spies them all protecting Strawhat's body, painted with grief and resentment locked onto the battlefield around them.
It's a quick trip, or at least it feels quick, and Law wastes no time in telling his crew to steer away from the battlefield that instant, as he walks with the ex-warlock into his operation room.
Fire-fist is laid down on his table, and Law's eyes take in the many injuries. None seem particularly life threatening, however..
On the man's torso, there's a couple burns that almost looks like the outline of someone else's torso. Law muses that it must've happened when Fire-fist had been clinging to his brother. On the back, there's two scorched in hand prints with small bits of melted skin-coloured rubber in the wounds.
The sound of his latex gloves click as he puts them on.
Time to start treatment.
-
When Ace wakes up, everything goes about as well as expected.
At first he wasn't really sure where he was, he'd been covered in bandages and the beeps of machines around him did nothing to reassure him.
Then it all came flooding back, the war, seeing his father and family try to reach him, Luffy falling- oh god. Luffy.
He didn't want to be away from Luffy, he didn't want to survive.
He had to watch his father, his brother, his crewmates, family, all of them - Die for him.
Why? Why would they do that, his life isn't worth someone else's yet alone hundreds of others!
How, how could he get his just deserts?
In his fit, he hadn't realised he'd been trashing and weaving his fire uncontrollably around. He hadn't realised till a spotty guy came running in and shouted at him to stop.
It wasn't until Jinbei (!?) literally threw him from the submarine that he really got to look around.
He was on an island, that looked to be near the calm belt. It was warm (like his brother's dying body), sunshine blinding his eyes (like Luffy's smile) and sounds of nature around him, peaceful and happy (Like his laughter).
Ace wanted to burn it all down.
But he couldn't do that. He couldn't destroy more life. Not when it reminded him of him.
He was all alone now.
Sabo… Luffy… He'd lost both his younger brothers. He couldn't protect either of them, nor their dreams.
He misses them.
Oh, how he yearns to see them. To apologise to them and to just spend time with them again.
More than that, a part of him whispers, he wishes he could go back in time and cut ties.
He wishes, they'd never gotten to know him.
Looking at the sea that sounds this place, his throat and chest burn with a desirous itch.
A step. That's all it'd take.
He's so tired, exhausted. But, if he took just one step into the vast blue, he could finally gain that freedom he'd always been pining after.
Finally, he could pay his penalty.
It'd be so easy, and suddenly it's all he wants to do.
He's gonna see his family, they're gonna spend the vast remaining bits of nothingness together.
And he's gonna get some rest.
It's tantalizing, a spoken promise to himself.
He finds himself walking toward the edge.
And then reality comes crashing down at the feel of a hand on his shoulder holding him back.
"Let go"
His voice is incredibly scratchy from all the screaming. Yet, he doesn't doubt that the other heard him perfectly.
"Ace-san, are you gonna let it all be for naught? Are you truly that much of a coward?"
He turns around to face Jinbei.
"Look, Boss.."
"No, You listen to me. You do that, do you really think that Strawhat is gonna be happy?"
It's a low blow.
"You don't know anything about him"
"When I met him, all he cared about was finding you and saving your life. He'd fought Magellan. He'd almost died in the prison to get you out. Are you gonna walk all over that?"
"Then what?! What do you want me to do! They all died, Luffy he!... I Lost another brother, I.. I'm alone.. Without them, I have nothing!"
He didn't realise he still had the energy to shout.
"You still have your life! You still have the majority of your crew!"
"But Lu-"
Jinbei's other hand lands on his shoulder, catching his eyes in an unwavering battle.
"What's gone is gone! You can Never get it back! Focus on what you still have, and Live! Honour their wishes!"
"But why would they do that for me!? I-"
"What they did was their choice! I cannot speak for them, but I'm gonna guess it's because of Love, Ace-san!"
Love.
Right.
They… They all loved him.
His eyes sting
He didn't deserve their love, he doesn't deserve it now either.
Maybe one day he will.
Jinbei hugs him, a little awkwardly, but Ace decides that doesn't matter right now and clings to him and grieves.
When Ace stops crying, the suns gone down, and he's sitting on the ground next to Jinbei.
They don't talk, just look up at the stars.
Until he hears ruffles from the other man.
He doesn't look over, eyes still tracing the clouds in the sky, but he feels it as the man places something on his still bandaged chest.
It's Luffy's straw hat.
If he could cry any more, he probably would.
"Red hair told me to give that to you."
His brother's greatest treasure rests in his palm as he looks at it.
He wonders why Shanks wanted him to have the hat.
"I took the liberty of cleaning it. I am guessing, that Red-hair thought it'd be fitting to pass it onto you."
He'll guard it.
He doesn't know what Luffy's crew is gonna do, but he's betting that at least One of them will pass through fishman island at some point.
"Jinbei."
"Hm?"
"Take me with you to Fishman Island."
His friend is quiet. Ace didn't expect him to answer either way.
He'll take a break from pirating. Training to become stronger, strong enough to protect his remaining crew. But first, he needs to get in touch with them.
He learns later that the crew has been disbanded, and that everyone is either making their own crew, or is going underground.
Ace still keeps in touch with them, but for now he's not a pirate.
And so, he stays at fishman Island patiently.
He'll wait as long as he needs to.
He spends two years at fishman Island.
During that time he starts wearing shirts more often to cover up his failures from himself, and he trains, perfects his body with the help of Jinbei.
He owes his friend so much, yet whenever he attempts to give back, the man shakes his head and refuses.
It makes him work all that much harder.
And then one day, he sees them again.
They get split up for whatever reason, and he meets Zoro and Nami first.
Neither of them expected to see the other, especially not in the middle of a busy street.
The meeting isn't anything he anticipated, there's no glares, no anger.
Not even the tiniest bit of resentment in their gaze.
Instead he gets wide smiles, and Nami even jumps to hug him in happiness.
They ask him how he's doing and what he's doing here.
No one comments on the straw hat dangling from his neck on a string.
As they step away from the crowds and fill him in on their situation, he can't help the stab of guilt that's begging to crawl from his throat.
They're still a crew, still a family. And still without a captain, and the scorched handprints forever etched into his skin, the embodiment of his defeat, it all stings and causes him to pause.
Because it's his fault.
But they're here, they're finally here and he can fulfill his second to last duty and then retire, staying alive till the end of his days.
He kneels, bows and feels soft wet ground touching his forehead.
"I'm s-"
Cold, sharp steel interrupts him by his neck.
"Don't you Dare finish that sentence"
Nami's warm voice turned izy pierces his chest.
He looks up to meet their eyes.
There, he sees the resentment and the anguish, but still not directed at him.
He thinks to himself, that if they want to kill him then so be it.
And, another part of him whispers that he wants them to.
"Luffy didn't die for you to hide away. He died for you to live"
It's the second time he's heard that.
But what is life, when he's lost everyone he ever cared for?
"What is your dream?" Zoro asks.
"I don't know anymore"
They look at him, and he sees their understanding gazes, sees their guilt and realises they felt the same. They wanted to give up because of their loss, but they didn't.
He wonders if he'll ever be as strong as them.
Then the new-fishman pirates attack, and Ace fights with them to protect this place, to protect this country in place of his pops.
Protecting the place where he'd been in the last couple of years.
And it's during that fight, watching each other's backs, fighting and defeating Hordy Jones, that Ace, for the first time since the war feels alive.
And that's when he realises that what he'd been doing up till now wasn't living.
He'd been alive physically, but not emotionally.
He lets his fire burn and carve a new way for him to follow.
It's cathartic.
At some point, he puts Luffy's straw hat onto his head, he doesn't know why he did it. Just that it felt right to do it.
They win the fight and save fishman island. They're all barely bruised. Smiling, laughing and just being with each other. Ace lets himself laugh, before it turns into familiar tears.
He's surprised when he sees his brother's crew cru as well.
Zoro walks up to him again.
"What's your dream?" He asks.
Before, it'd been to have his name known on the seas. He'd practically accomplished that part.
Then, he'd sworn loyalty to pops, staying there and protecting his family.
Now… He wants to be free, to chase that cathartic feeling, to laugh - to Live .
He wants to be the freest person in the whole wild world and go on countless adventures to see it, breathe in the clean airs and experience new sensations everywhere.
Those thoughts and feelings hit a familiar tune in his vocabulary, and he reaches up to remove the straw hat from his head.
"I… I'm going to be the pirate king"
And not because of Roger, not because of any legacy.
But because of freedom for himself.
The strawhats laugh, cry-laugh, really.
But then they all look at each other before snickering, each reaching out a hand towards him.
"Do you want to join our crew, king?"
He takes the step.