Hello and Welcome to: See Me As I Want to Be
Disclaimer: I don't own J.K. Rowlings Characters, setting's, or her plot. I do own the plot I've placed these characters in.
It was the beginning of Draco's seventh year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; the tall blond couldn't help but observe the happy first years smiling with their parents.
He remembered what it felt like, boarding the Hogwarts Express for the first time. It was a truly magical experience. He remembered reluctantly hugging his mother goodbye and straightening his tie before he found his seat, and he remembered ordering sweets off the trolley cart. He had been so eager to be off. Make a name for himself and his family as his father had, and his father before that.
But now Draco wished nothing more than to be a nobody, a nobody without the task to kill Dumbledore.
He straightened his tie once again and fixed on his head boy badge, a part of him wanted to run right there, not get on the train and flee, but Draco didn't have that option. So he took the first step, and then the other, and walked himself onto the express, his heart pumping steadily in his chest as if he had just committed some crime. He surveyed his surroundings, hoping to get to where the other Slytherins were. He wanted to get out of the way of any commotion and heartfelt goodbyes from parents to their children.
It would be the second time he boarded this train when his father was in Azkaban, the second and last.
Nothing quite compares to the feeling of your family being in danger. He had never been particularly close with his father, seen more of as an heir than a child. While he might have been cold and pushed Draco to perform at a high level, he loved the man and wanted him out of harm's way. His mother being in danger, however? That felt like a knife twisted in his gut.
Malfoy briefly wondered if the dark lord would let his father out if he completed this task. He kept saying that Draco would get his father returned home when he proved himself a viable replacement. It was, however, highly insinuated that this would be the deciding task. But you could never be too sure with the dark lord; at times, he only made half-dues on what he promised might be entire payments.
But no matter what happened to his father, his mother was the real one in danger, the one who would die if he stepped a foot out of line.
He walked quickly to the back of the train, not wanting to draw attention in any capacity. But then he saw Granger out of the corner of his eye; Granger, with a head girl badge pinned to her chest.
She looked different. Maybe it was the tight muggle jeans he had never seen her sport before. Maybe, it was that her hair was up and back so he could see her long neck and features. Maybe, it was because, for the first time, he could say that Granger wasn't ugly when she was in 'normal' wear. No, it was more than that. Granger looked happy. And he immediately resented her for that. Her head leaned back a little, laughing at something Weasley had to say, and he supposed he had never paid much attention to her when she looked so joyful.
But of course, the mudblood was happy, and why wouldn't she be?
He knew she would get Head girl. That was a given. But it didn't make the fact that she was head girl any easier on Draco. He would be having the most stressful, booked year of his Hogwarts career. And now he had to deal with rooming with Granger. The mudblood left his vision as he pushed past the trio, not throwing an insult or two like he might have last year.
He could, however, feel the bastard lord potty's eyes boring into the back of his head. And he heard his name quietly whispered by that stupid orphan. Draco was glad that even though the head boy would make his year that much more difficult with extra responsibility, at least he got to take the position from Potter. Draco was sure that twat was next in line.
Draco found the part of the train the other Slytherins were occupying and slid into a compartment where he took a seat next to Blaise. Across from them sat Pansy, who was staring out the window with a pinched look on her features. Whatever was the matter with her, Draco wanted nothing to do with it. He had enough of his own shit.
"Draco," Blaise greeted. Draco gave him a curt nod, not feeling like starting a 'how was your summer conversation.' And since he consisted of being trapped in his own home by the dark lord, it probably wasn't a good idea to not share out to the class.
"Blaise," Pansy said after about ten minutes, "Are you going to apologize?" Draco looked to the Italian whose eyes had gone wide; now Draco was curious. Blaise and Pansy had always had an on again off again relationship; this meant that Draco always had to guess whether or not his friends were together and happy, apart and upset, or just friends.
"What for?" Zabini cleared his throat; Draco knew he wasn't truthful. Zabini was a lot of things; a liar wasn't one of them. Blaise had his tells, one of them being he looked as if he was about to combust every time he told a fib.
"I'm going to give you one chance." Pansy's voice was ice-cold, "One chance, and perhaps I'll forget what you just said, if you apologize, now." Draco watched Blaise's forehead crinkle, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. He wondered just what Blaise had done to upset her, nothing he probably hadn't done before.
"Honestly, sweetheart, I have no idea what you want from me," Blaise said these words as though he was afraid of what was coming out of his mouth. Draco didn't blame him. Pansy was scary.
"No idea?" Pansy stood, "No idea?!" Draco scooted away from Blaise slightly to distance himself from the rage monster that was miss Pansy Parkinson. "Ok, so you didn't sleep with Astoria Greengrass? Daphne's baby sister and a good friend of mine?!" Astoria was far from a baby, just a year below them.
"You two are far from friends." Blaise scoffed, "You're just saying this so I feel guilty, which I don't. Why do you care, anyway?"
"I care because that dark-haired temptress rubbed sleeping with you in my face for a good thirty minutes before we got on the train." Draco tried to put even more distance but found he was running out of his seat. "And when you heard us- oh, don't give me that look I know you eavesdropped- you just walked by all smug!" Pansy continued, "And I had to sit there, dumbfounded because one of my best friends didn't tell me about sleeping with someone so significant to the pureblood world!" You see that, for Pansy, was a betrayal of the highest degree. More than anything else, Parkinson hated looking stupid, hated not knowing what was going on.
"I didn't think you cared about who I slept with." Bit out, Blaise.
"I don't," Pansy scoffed, "But tell your little bedmate to shut her trap, alright? I almost lost my breakfast this morning."
They arrived at Hogwarts and walked to the great hall. Draco found his seat at the Slytherin table quickly. Drumming his fingers on the table as he watched the first year's file into the Great Hall.
"Hello," Boomed Dumbledores voice and Draco turned his attention to the old fool. "And welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" Clapping ensued, and Draco (being Head Boy) had to restrain an eye-roll.
"As we begin another adventure together this year, I fear that I must take away from this joyous moment." He paused. The man always did have a flair for the dramatic, "As we all know, a man named Tom Riddle, more well known as Voldemort, has returned." Gasps echo at the use of his name so casually, "But this does not mean you are in any danger; you will always have a home at Hogwarts. We will ensure that you are safe. We must stay together in times like these, as there is nothing we cannot accomplish if we do it together." Draco barely held in a snort.
"This year, head boy and girl are Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy," Dumbledore said, "Please stand up so we can see you." Draco sighed, standing as the Slytherins around him gave him smiles and praise. He looked over to Granger; the girl was smiling down at her friends as they clapped her on the back and congratulated her on a job well down. "Prefects, please stand," Draco watched Theo Nott and Pansy Parkinson, as well as the 6th and 5th-year prefects, stand. "Look to these students with any questions or concerns that do not immediately concern a teacher, and don't be shy!"
"Without further a due," Dumbledore smiled, "The sorting hat!"
And the hat began to talk;
"Yes, I'm old and rugged,
but I'm a hat of many talents,
so open up your ears I say, and hear my heartfelt ballad's
People come far and wide to listen what I to say
For I'm the good old sorting hat
And on your head is where I lay.
A time ago four founders decided who went where
But they are long and dead so I decide who goes which way and there
Maybe you belong to Slytherin if ambition applies to you,
cleverness and drive are the qualities there to boot
But Perhaps Gryffindor is much more your speed,
The brave dwell in the Loins den
If adventure and daring is something you need
Oh but there is Ravenclaw, wisest of the fold
creativity and knowledge there are just as rich as gold
And if Hufflepuff is where you'll do best
if you're loyal and kind
and your hard work puts you above the rest,
So come one come all, now your time is here
Place me on your head, I say,
You've got nothing to fear."
And the room broke out into applause as the sorting began. Draco watched as the new first-year Slytherins came running down to there table. (some happier about it than others), trying to remember what it had been like for him all those years ago. He remembered being confident in Slytherin. There was no other option for him. He remembered having those beliefs confirmed.
"Granger look's different this year," Theo, who was seated across from him, muttered. His eyes trained on the curly-haired witch. Draco had noticed that as well. Granger certainly did look more feminine. If she wasn't a mudblood, he might even say she looked pretty. But she was a mudblood, so Draco shot Theo a glare.
"Do I need to take you to the hospital wing?" He asked the boy, "Granger look's like she's always looked, like a dirty fucking mudblood." And Theo shrugged his shoulders, stabbing at some potatoes on his plate.
"There are pretty mudblood's; it's not a pureblood trait." Theo said, "Anyway, I said she looks different, nothing more." Draco had never been much of a fan of Theodore Nott. He tolerated the boy, but he was quiet and Draco never knew what he was thinking. Nott always seemed as if he were observing you like you were a pretty fish in a pond that had caught his eye.
He eyed Blaise who was fending off Astoria Greengrass like she was the plague. He was probably feeling guilty about Parkinson who was eyeing the two of them with a pinched expression that could rival his mothers.
When dinner was done Draco headed towards McGonagall's office to meet with the older woman and Granger. The letter that had told him he was head boy in the first place has instructed they would go over-rules and whatnot with their Transfiguration Teacher. Draco wasn't looking forward to this particular event.
When he arrived, Granger was already there, sitting in one of the two chairs in front of McGonagall's desk. McGonagall was sitting behind the large wooden thing looking wary.
"Professor," He said,
"Mr. Malfoy, Miss Granger," The teacher greeted as Draco took a seat. "As you well know, you two are the head boy and girl of Hogwarts. I am telling you this because I understand the... dramatic differences between the two of you. But that does not mean that you will be held to any less serious standards whilst performing your duties to the school." She said sternly, "I will be going over some of the rules before we get into your responsibilities as the heads. These rules have been in place since the beginning of the Hogwarts and any violation could result in termination from the position." She pulled out a list of very old-looking parchment and cleared her throat.
"Number one; No fighting with other students unless necessary and only as a last resort. If you do find yourself in a position where you need to break up a fight or defend yourself, only, and I can not stress this enough, only defensive and disarming spells, unless, permitted otherwise." Draco supposed this made sense, couldn't have head students getting into duels. "Number two; You are to be given a password to your shared dormitory as well as passwords to every one of the houses. You cannot share these passwords; this is a matter of safety and will not be punished lightly should it be found that you have given your classmates access to the others common spaces." a given. "Number three; Should it be found that one of you harms the other, the instigator of that event will be revoked of their title and face suspension from the school." There goes his plan to murder Granger.
"Do you both agree to these terms?" McGonagall asked them, they both shook their heads yes. "Good, now on to responsibilities. You two will be in charge of planning formal events, in control of prefect meetings, schedules, and conduct, and will have monthly grievance meetings where students can come and talk to you about whatever is bothering them."
"Miss Granger you will be the lead person where Gryffindor is concerned and Mr. Malfoy the same goes for you with Slytherin, I expect that the two of you will figure out who's leading when it comes to Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff though I suggest that you bring in a seventh-grade Prefect from that house to help you with anything major..."
Draco tuned McGonagall out as she talked about the obvious duties that any Prefect with eyes knew the heads were responsible for. He looked over to Granger, she was eating up every word that was coming out of her professor's mouth. Her eyes were focused and it looked as if she was cataloging everything McGonagall said in her little Know-it-all brain. Draco wondered where her little friends would be without that brain of hers; he had heard about what had happened in their first year, it seemed as though Potty would have died twice without her in an hour. Pathetic, having to rely on a Mudblood, but impressive for Granger, he supposed.
"Without further to do," McGonagall said, standing up from her desk, "Follow me to your dorms."
The two of them filed out after their Transfiguration teacher, and they followed her up the stairs to where Draco recognized was near the Ravenclaw tower. They stopped at a large painting of a snake slithering up a sword with a gold and red hilt. He wondered if the portrait changed with the heads of the house, and his question was answered. As McGonagall spoke the password, the door opened to reveal their common room.
It was about half the size of Slytherin's commons but much warmer, with a large fireplace that settled the room in an orange glow. Granger turned on the light switch and Draco almost rolled his eyes at the decor.
A warm red wallpaper covered the walls, decorated with silver patterns spinning intricate designs. Under normal circumstances, Draco might have enjoyed staring at it. A Dark green; (so dark it was approaching black) couch sat in front of the fireplace. Beside it, a similarly colored loveseat. The floor was a dark wood that reminded him of his room at home, and three large bookshelves Granger was eyeing led the way to a small kitchenette that sat on the opposite side of a bay window that looked out on the lake.
Across from the entrance lay three doors, the middle one was open, revealing what Draco assumed would be their shared bathroom. He shuddered at the idea. The other two doors, however, were completely different from each other. The first was a similar color to the floor, except the handle was a fine silver and on the front of it hung a picture of a snake. The other door was a light red, only a shade or two different from the wallpaper. Its handle had been painted gold. And a small Lion, in the same place as his snake, was painted in the same color.
"Try not to kill each other," McGonagall sighed, "Goodnight to you both."
And then he was alone with her.
Granger had started to walk to her room, but Draco cleared his throat to get her attention.
"What?" Granger asked, her hands placed on her hips.
"I wanted to get something straight with you, Granger." He said, "We may be living together for now, but that doesn't make us buddies, I am not one of your marry men that you can boss around or help with homework, alright? I want absolutely nothing to do with you other than Head duties, and for your own sake, I suggest you stay out of my way." Granger gaped at him.
"I swear I just heard you threaten me. That couldn't be right," Granger said, her eyebrows furrowed and her nostrils flaring, "Because not only would that be an idiotic move, seeing as your not a good enough wizard to get a spell past, and even if you were, you'd lose your position if you hurt me. But also because you have no right to tell me what to do in any capacity. Not that I want anything to do with you either, Malfoy. Trust me; I don't. But this experience will not consist of you telling me what to do. Got it straight?" She said this all incredibly fast.
"I'm going to ignore the remark that I couldn't get a spell past you, because I'm hoping that you're not so delusional as to believe that," Draco sneered, "But I'll have you know Granger I'll tell you what to do all I want because frankly, I'm your better in every way."
"Just not in charms, right?" Granger taunted, "or Transfiguration, or potions, or DADA, or care of magical creatures, or ancient runes, or Herbology, or muggle studies, or history of magic. You are better in Divination..." She smirked. Everyone knew her thoughts on the class, "I'll give you that. But besides all of those, what are you better at than me? Flying on your broom? Losing to Harry? Yes, you are certainly good at losing."
"Shut your mouth, Granger." Draco snarled.
"You're better at turning into a Ferret." She smirked, probably just pleased with the fact she remembered that... incident.
"I told you to shut up!"
"Yeah, you did, Malfoy, but you see, I'm not like your little friends that do your every bidding, I'm my own person, and I decide whether or not I do something." Draco could feel his blood boiling, god he hated Granger.
"And you're worse off for it, I promise you."
"You don't need to promise me anything, Malfoy, except the part where you promise to take a dive off the Astronomy tower!" Draco snorted. He didn't know Granger could tell a joke. Didn't matter that it was barely funny. He just saw the humor in her working one into an argument.
"And what is so funny?" She asked him.
"You." He sneered. Playing off the fact that he was amused for a second there. "Standing there with your hands on your hips, telling me of all people to jump off the Astronomy Tower." He clucked his tongue, "Do you want me to die, Granger?"
"Want is a light word," She said, adjusting her position so her arms rested at her side, "I would love to walk to the field below and tell you to: 'do a flip,' before you go splat on the ground. You see Malfoy, I hate you, more than I've ever hated anyone other than Voldemort himself," She smirked when he flinched slightly at the name, "So no, I don't think I'd mind if the great Draco fucking Malfoy went and off'ed himself. I don't have the taste for killing, but if you decided to rid the world of your racist, bigoted, insecure, careless, thoughtless, evil cockroach ferret-ness, I wouldn't shed a tear at your funeral."
"When did you realize you had such strong feelings for me, Granger?" Draco sneered. Her words had stung ever so slightly.
"In the second year when you called me a Mudblood for the first time," She put simply. "In third when you tried to kill an innocent creature, In fourth when you made up those awful lies to Rita Skeeter, in fifth when you tortured children as Umbridge's little minion." She paused and looked him up and down, "The truth is, I've always hated you, and you Draco Malfoy deserve nothing else than what's coming to you."
"Now who's threatening who?" He scoffed,
"Me," Granger whispered, walking towards her door before placing a hand on the golden handle, "I'm threatening you." And she slammed the door behind her, and Draco was left semi shell shocked.
"Mudblood!" He yelled after her, and was delighted when he heard a small shriek of anger.
Draco was a little surprised, the Granger of yesterday year would have started crying if he argued with her. Although he hadn't interacted with the girl since the fifth year. Had she changed that much? Now that he thought about it, besides Potter following him around accusing him of being a Deatheater last year, he had seen very little of the fabled, 'golden trio,'
He opened the door to his room, and he almost gasped when he got inside. The room looked strikingly similar to his room back home, his stuff was vacant, and it wasn't close to the size of his room at the Manor. But other than that, when he had entered, he had felt the sharp twinge of magic and seen for himself the same wallpaper, floors, curves, and bed of his old room. It made him a bit homesick, honestly. Not of his home now, but of the one he had loved as a child. The one where his mother let him help her plant flowers in their rose garden or plan parties. The one where he could fly on his broom for hours until it had gotten so dark he could no longer see a couple of feet in front of him, the one where he and Blaise had gone exploring in the river by his house during the summers.
He briefly wondered what Granger's room looked like, whether or not if it was a reflection of her room from home as well. Draco didn't unpack, he just flopped into his bed, only taking off his robe before going to sleep in what felt like a remanent of home.
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