Only if

dedications to:

ryan (my ideas wouldn't have become a full fledged fic if it weren't for you)

shen (encouragement is fundamental for writers so thank you for yours)

(crossposted from ao3)

chapter i: to title the beginning of something unbeknownst

Fire Lord Zuko,

I hope you have been faring well since our last correspondence. You couldn't imagine the pleasure I had in reading your last letter mentioning the completion of the representative center for the Kingdom of Earth.

When you reached out to me to talk of plans to start on a building to represent the Northern and Southern tribes I immediately brought up the topic to the other chiefs within the Southern Tribe's circle. After some debate we came to the agreement that it would be a step in the right direction for relations between the tribes and the Fire Nation to improve. I also sent word to Chief Arnook of the Northern Tribe and was able to gain his support on the matter. However, I would be unable to meet in person to assist you with the proper plans and decision making required for such a hearty task as this due to my current duties.

With that stated, the other Southern Water Tribe Chiefs negotiated to have an ambassador sent to stay with you as needed for the duration of this project. It was a fairly easy choice to make and I'm quite sure you'll be quite content with our choice. About the time you receive this letter they should have started their journey to meet with you. Do not be afraid to reach out once the plans have been drafted.

Thank you again for your efforts in easing the long-term tensions between our cultures. There are many things I look forward to sharing with you.

Regards,

Head Chieftain Hakoda

May - 104 ag

The letters in Zuko's hand from the Southern Tribe's main chief had been read over at least twice to make sure no key details had been missed. Mentally Zuko was exhausted and he knew his mind wasn't good for anymore work the rest of the night once he started zoning out for the third time. Emotions had always been a strange case for Zuko. On one hand he was ecstatic, though his outward portrayal was rather lax, that an agreement had been made regarding his inquiries about the cultural buildings he wanted to have built. The subsequent feelings left after were not so pleasant.

Fire Lord Zuko

Despite being crowned four years ago there were still moments where the firebender felt unsure, as if undeserving of the title he bore. Like he didn't quite know what he was doing. Inwardly, something about the grandiose title still left Zuko feeling miffed. As much as Zuko was responsible for and able to watch over, the emotions and pressure of how he came to be who he was now still danced around in the background. They haunted him in underlying, residual ways.

These were feelings Zuko had dealt with on more than one occasion and, truth be told, he had certainly gotten better at handling especially with support from others. Unfortunately, the luxuries of always being around others he was close to were ones he couldn't always afford. Zuko had a duty to his people just like the avatar had the duty to all of the people.

Ursa's return had led to Ozai's exit. Zuko made visits to his father periodically as he tried to digest the years of trauma caused by the man behind bars. The man who had been stripped of the only thing he had ever found value in. His mother had taken her own time to visit the man who had fathered her children, her only intention to take away the last shred of dignity Ozai ever held. It was evident afterwards whenever Zuko chose to visit that his father's cold and collected manner of presenting himself was thinning out.

Zuko couldn't blame Ursa for confronting Ozai and he certainly couldn't blame her when she eventually chose to live outside the palace. The tired look of anguish for a place she once called home was unignorable. Months later when the morning guard had interrupted Zuko right before he chose to take breakfast, the forming lump in the middle of his throat sank straight into his stomach. His head of guard, Cheiko, had a hollow look in his eyes as he spoke of what had occurred when they walked in Ozai's cell.

Demanding to see for himself, Zuko had been met with minor disagreement. It was evident the situation at hand was delicate but when Zuko had pulled rank, his guards were left with no choice but to lead him to his father. Upon his entrance it was easy to see the crumpled body of Ozai on the ground lifeless. Zuko felt weak in the knees as the full realization of the situation began to take hold. He could see the dried blood on the wall and the pool of the same liquid that surrounded his father's face.

As soon as Zuko made eye contact with the empty stare on Ozai's filthy bloodied face, he fell to his knees and felt the vision in his eyes go hazy. Was it the fact that his father was dead? Or the way his neck was angled wrong, oh so very wrong? Zuko had been so prepared for Aang to kill Ozai years ago but here the caged man was dead on the ground from his own doing. He felt like the breath had been sucked out of him, felt the nausea roll onto him like a wave in the ocean, so unrelenting.

So very unforgiving.

When Zuko awoke the next morning, sweat-ridden from restless dreams, he was motivated to get his day started despite feeling so careworn. As a firebender he rose most days with the sun, the slow entrance of the warmth in sync with his own internal system. Today was not quite so easy to rise with as slightly darkened circles encased the edges of his eyes. Time was still on his side as the sun hadn't been out for long and his routine was fairly concise. Most all knew not to bother their Fire Lord in the morning until the doors to his room were opened but he knew that Uzon would have a field day if he caught him looking like this. So with that thought in mind, he rose from the bed and went to the mirror in his chambers after slipping on a robe and the switch to a pair of pants more suitable for his morning routine.

Had Zuko even gotten any sleep? Surely it didn't look like it.

Zuko began to brush through his lengthy hair and the shorter bangs he chose to retain. He felt like he'd be happy growing it out in the future but for now it was long enough to deal with. Far more self-sufficient than he'd admit to, Zuko efficiently had his hair tied back into a traditional Fire Nation hair piece, and the pin slipped through into place. Hands dipped into the bowl of water located on the vanity before he brought them over his face a few times in hopes of giving himself a little more awareness. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, his hand lingered on his scar before he continued on applying a salve to the area.

Truly not one for a lengthy routine of upkeep, he walked to the entrance of his room and pushed the doors open. With record time there was a group of three servants ready to handle his tasks. The chorus of good morning Fire Lord Zuko stung against his ears but he held back any inclination of issue with their assertiveness as they asked what he would need this morning.

"I can straighten the room later but I'll be at the courtyard to practice my forms for now. Would one of you fetch Cheiko and Advisor Nisebi, have them be in the throne room in an hour please." Zuko nodded to the trio, backing up to allow the three of them through into his quarters. The morning guard lurked nearby lying in wait to follow him once

"Surely so. Would you like any food or drinks to be prepared?" One of the servants, Nochi, turned back looking expectantly at Zuko. She was the one always in a hurry, wanting her orders for the day to be delivered as quickly as possible but everything she did was always carefully calculated.

"Hmm, how about we go with just tea this time? Perhaps Jasmine." Zuko responded and Nochi nodded back, though it was evident her stare on him lingered a bit longer than he would've liked. With everything settled he briskly began to walk out of his room, robe billowing behind him as he moved.

A quick change in clothes was a necessity before Zuko met with his head guard and one of his main advisors. It wouldn't do any good to have them out of the loop about someone from another nation coming stay with them, especially when they would be here so soon. They would both need to be on the up and up about the upcoming project he had chosen to take on to finish up the entirety of his educational plan. They'd been quite attentive when Zuko had the Earth building created, however it was quite hard for them to be anything but such with Toph in charge. Truly, he couldn't have had a better team to work with and solidify his dream.

Zuko supposed that when the Water Tribe building came into play it might be Katara that would help him but being that she was on official avatar business with Aang that was out of the question. At this point, most of Team Avatar had been doing their own thing and they slowly had less time for visiting each other as the years passed. There were often times where he missed the company, the warmth, and perhaps even the childish behavior they brought just from being their natural selves. Zuko might've once been their enemy but he no longer felt like that. They had all come to an agreement of friendship between the entire group despite their ups and downs.

Brushing the edges of his hands along his outerwear to neaten the way the fabric hung, Zuko sighed. Deep down he had hoped that the meeting with those he had asked to be called into his council room would go smoothly, though in the pit of his stomach he knew some type of issue was bound to arise. Which is exactly why he called for the meeting between them all to occur so early, better to get it over with now rather than later.

As Zuko walked he absentmindedly fiddled with a woven bracelet Aang had made and given to him years ago closer to the time of his coronation. The avatar had made one for each member of the group and well, Zuko had felt honored to be included. His bracelet had been done with red and gold fabric. It was something the Fire Lord treasured highly as the memories that he associated with it were pleasant and cathartic. He rarely took it off, usually only when he went to the baths or did his more strenuous firebending training.

Just before Zuko reached the doors, he stopped turning his head to the right side to have the two guards trailing him in better view, "I'll be in discussion for a while, you're dismissed for now. No need to hang around and be bored during this."

Even though Zuko returned the direction of his head back forwards he knew the guards were exchanging peculiar looks. Ozai's dictatorial behavior and lack of scruples for so many years left many of those within the palace confused in simple terms. For so long he knew the way they behaved, the movements they made, every breath they took could be taken to the extreme and it would take a while for tensions within what was now Zuko's own palace to dissipate. Throughout everything he had been through, Zuko knew he had time and he had the patience for those around him to accept the new normal of what living in the Fire Nation would be.

To be considered untraditional by his people was something Zuko could live with. Change was needed for the nation. He nodded to the two benders opening the door in time for him to walk through in a seamless manner. As requested both Captain Cheiko and Advisor Nisebi were present in the room, sitting across from one another at a small table. The tea was yet to be served as it was customary to wait until the Fire Lord himself entered. Both parties stood immediately, each respectively bowing to their leader with one hand curled and the other vertically erect. Once Zuko responded in the affirmative, all parties took their seat.

"An honor to be called to assist you Fire Lord Zuko, what is it the pleasure we have of discussing today?" Nisebi spoke first, no inclination of hiding the droll tone within the way she articulated her words. Zuko watched as she talked, trying to remain passive in face though internally his thoughts were whirling about. Throughout the years Zuko had a tough time dealing with the removal of certain palace staff, mainly the ones that were hidden in their intentions to have him overthrown. The New Ozai Society they had deemed themselves. Most of his cabinet had been inherited from his father and while one would think it would be easy to replace them, it wasn't quite so simple.

Not everyone was against Zuko's ruling but cycling out council members was a peculiar process and it required a delicate touch unless something truly horrendous arose regarding a needed removal. Therefore despite all the vague suspicions he had once held against Nisebi there had never been anything to prove she was outright against him. She was just naturally intune with her ability to make herself sound like everything he was doing was wrong.

"As per the promise to keep everyone up to date as often as possible, I've called you both here to make sure you're aware of my plans to institute the construction of a Water Tribe Hall. Now that Earth's Center has been long established and completed I felt it was time to move onto the next project." Zuko finished speaking in time for the tea server, Suine, to pass by his right shoulder, something he had explicitly requested done after an incident occurred in the past with those serving him being in his blind side to the left. He preferred to eliminate the possibility of reacting in any informal manner by asking to be approached from his good side from then on.

Zuko nodded towards the server as she knelt beside him to pour a small glass of tea. Her face was recognizable due to the two moles aside her right eye. Suine often was a server when he held these types of smaller meetings so he felt less tense after his drink had been served. Of course, he still considered most teas to be just hot leaf juice but something about the scent of jasmine relaxed him. Mostly because it reminded him of his uncle and the older man's advice. So whenever he felt overworked or overwhelmed he requested it to be served.

"How wonderful! I assume that an ambassador is to be received?" Nisebi responded promptly, watching Suine serve Cheiko before restoring her attention to Zuko who dipped his head in a nod.

"They should be here in less than two weeks if the weather holds up. The letter from Chief Hakoda gave the impression that everything was well received. I expect nothing less than a pleasant stay for our guest, just as it went for Toph. I requested you here so the other advisors could be made aware that this project will be a priority." Zuko spoke, watching Nisebi's facial reactions. He could see the bare slip in her normally passive face switch to a scowl. Did she not like the Water Tribes? Or was it something else that offended her in his speech. He didn't have time to dwell on any of these thoughts for now.

"Fire Lord Zuko," Cheiko interjected calmly, his tea remained untouched as sole focus went to Zuko, "Just as I delegated our past guests to be appropriately protected, I'll be glad to make it a priority once again. The issues with the New Ozai Society seemed to have died down so I believe there will be a smaller possibility of interference when housing the Water Tribe Ambassador."

"Supposedly so...be sure that your team will have their schedules worked out sooner than later, I'll want to review them before our guest arrives. Advisor Nisebi? Relations with the other nations are crucial at this time. I understand that customs are different in other lands but make sure you alert the remaining advisors of this. The Fire Nation is not the central focus of the world. I would like not to have a repeat of the incident with Toph. You're considered advisors for a reason, retain the professionalism of one."

"As you wish it, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Wait, back it up. You've been inside Boiling Rock before?" One of the naval officers went wide eyed as he questioned their guest aboard the Fire Nation cruiser. Ever since this Water Tribe Ambassador boarded their ship they'd all become quite amused by the way he presented himself. From farther away the assumed waterbender held a firm face and a straight stance but the moment he spoke it was all terrible jokes and crazy stories from during the war. So the decent sized crew had learned to enjoy the moments shared with the strangely endearing Water Tribe member. Currently the small gathering around said tribe member was a true example of how much they looked forward to their nightly chats.

Time passed quickly on their venture once the 'guest of honor' had been transferred from a smaller Water Tribe boat. He'd been onboard for a few days now and they only had a couple days left in their journey before they reached the Fire Nation docks.

"Say, what was your name again?" Another officer, Raion, interjected.

"Oh, it's Sokka. And I broke in, then out." Was the response the middle-aged officer received. Sokka folded his arms in together as he leaned back in his seat. He could definitely sense the skepticism as he spoke of his tale. Boiling Rock had been no walk in the park and had held up to the reputation he'd truly learned it had later on after he'd participated in his outing to the prison.

"And the firelord didn't have your head then and there?" Heads in the group shook in amusement, things were handed far differently in recent times since the new lord had acquired the throne.

"Are you talking about Ozai? He already wanted my head and my friends' heads for a looooot of different reasons at that point. Unless you're talking about Zuko because...he's kinda the one that helped me get in and back out. Don't they, like, tell you guys this stuff?" Sokka scratched the back of his head slightly, starting to wonder if maybe he shouldn't have spoken about this story. He forgot how much Ozai had left out about certain events, in some areas it was like Sokka never existed.

"Ah yeah, now I vaguely remember. They kept a lot of that under wraps. You guys had the warden hog tied didn't you? You must've been really selective about using your bending for that escapade." Another member of the makeshift group chimed in. That garnered him a few chuckles.

"Well I'm actually not a bender, but, maybe moose tied would be a better fit," Sokka brought his index finger to his chin, head tilting in unison as if he was deep in thought, "It's been years but I still remember he looked like he had the nose of a dragon moose."

That earned Sokka a chorus of laughs and howls. Perhaps left a few mouths agape as well. The Warden had earned a demeaning, up tight, and an overall not-so-nice reputation and although he was no longer the "warden" it didn't seem to stop people from remembering how he was and laughing at his expense.

Before anymore conversation could occur amongst them a bright streak of lightning in the distance illuminated the sky. A set of dark clouds had rolled in during their discussion, though went unnoticed at first with it already being dark outside. Thunder was quick to follow many seconds later. Loud crackling stung against Sokka's ears and made him wince. Not a minute later a second bout of veiny lightning appeared in the sky, thunder roaring not a moment later. The weather was very quickly deteriorating.

"Guess that's as good a signal as any to get back to work. You should probably head back inside to your quarters, Ambassador Sokka. It's going to be a bit rough on the ship tonight." Sokka rose moments later whilst nodding in agreement, his arms extending into a stretch out of habit.

The Fire Nation ship he had transferred too was far bigger than what he had ridden on previously and for that reason he wasn't really sure on how to not get lost in it. Thankfully the crew was expecting such a reaction and was always quick to offer to escort him to his room or wherever when asked. This time was no different and one of the men he had grouped with moments ago looked back at him before continuing through to the lower decks.

"It's probably best you stay in for the rest of the night. No roaming if you can help it, weather didn't look the greatest and the ships can take the beating but that doesn't mean it won't affect us down below." Sokka nodded to the officer giving him instruction and once they bowed to him the door shut moments after. Once he was alone he very loudly breathed a sigh of relief.

Sokka had grown a lot in the last few years, both mentally and physically. Thankful for whatever growth spurt that decided to hit had finally given him a break, because let's be real. It's a pain and a half for your pants to be continuously too short because your legs keep getting longer.

Physical growth was one thing, but mentally? It still took a bit of a breather to be on a Fire Nation cruiser and not be there under false pretenses. Sure the war had been over for a few years now and the rough relations were starting to ease but the time he spent in one particular negative mindset still lingered on the outskirts of his thoughts. So despite the rockiness and lack of balance he was starting to face physically, he was glad to have a moment for just himself.

Plopping onto the bed Sokka laid on his back with his hands positioned on his pillow, slightly cradling the back of his head. It wasn't long before he could feel the anger of the waves brush brutishly against the ship. Bad weather on a boat wasn't a foreign concept or experience for Sokka in general, but this was a new way of experiencing it.

Sokka felt strange coming back to the Fire Nation as well but all of the emotion from that was overwhelmingly subdued by the fact that he got to see Zuko again. It had been quite some time since he'd seen the prince, now Fire Lord, due to the ways of life conflicting their abilities to visit. The entire group had stayed in the Fire Nation for a short period after Zuko's coronation but eventually life was demanding and called for them to be in different places. Who were they to refuse what life asked?

Boredom was always quick to strike Sokka, he was never one to be still for prolonged amounts of time unless he was sleeping or eating. And that certainly didn't change as he got older. The waves were too rough to fall asleep too just yet and Sokka didn't want to get in trouble from exploring the ship so the next best thing was to snoop around the room of course. There hadn't been much reason to stay within the confines of his room the few days he'd been aboard so once a good look had been taken across the room he realized there were a few different spots of interest.

It started with the painting on the wall, one that encompassed the vast beauty of the beach which if painted based on reality was no doubt somewhere in the lands of the Fire Nation. Perhaps it was somewhere on Ember Island. Sokka really did appreciate fine art even if he wasn't the best at it, which he knew he wasn't. There were a few different ones on the wall for him to admire and he took the time to do so happily.

Then Sokka's boredom led him to counting the metal tiles on the ground. One of the more mundane aspects of figuring out what to do, it was surely better than nothing. If he was correct then there had to have been close to a hundred and three tiles just in his room but he wasn't really that fond of doing this sort of math so he didn't dare check over his addition skills by repeating the process.

Eventually the lack of entertainment led him to the intriguing leather work with gold borders on a chest in front of his bed. From far away Sokka could tell it was decently intricate but a closer look was necessary to see everything it had to offer. Squatting to the ground, he held the edging in his hand and rubbed his thumb over it, which turned out to be some sort of covering. There was a smooth feel to it, a silkiness where the gold bordering was sewn. After he'd taken the time to appropriately admire the handiwork, a yawn had eventually worked its way out into the open and he felt like he might just be able to get some shut eye despite the ship's rocking.

Unfortunately for Sokka when he rose from the ground to stand up completely a rogue wave must have hit against the hull which severely impaired his ability to stay balanced as the ship itself seemed to shudder. Despite his efforts to remain steady on his feet it didn't appear that his attempts to remain balanced were working in his favor especially when he overcompensated by leaning too far forward. Whatever was going on outside appeared to be getting worse. Sokka's thoughts didn't linger long when he stumbled forward as another shudder ran through the ship effectively undoing the last bit of stability he held. His face hit against a metal pole thus leaving himself knocked out cold.