Just a quick-write Shakarian one-shot to celebrate the release of the Legendary Edition. Enjoy, everyone!

Human Affection 101

Five days into the hunt for Saren Arterius and Commander Shepard was already getting frustrated. They had managed to save Liara T'Soni from the geth, but she hadn't known anything about the "Conduit" Saren was looking for. Now, as the Normandy headed for Feros, Shepard was at the terminal in her captain's cabin, looking over the mission reports for anything they may have missed. After 20 minutes, she had yet to come up with anything.

So she was actually a bit relieved when someone knocked on her door and startled her out of her search. She promptly closed the files and went to answer. "Garrus? What do you need?"

The turian stepped in so she could close the door. "Well, you said I could drop in if I had any questions."

"And do you?" she asked, folding her arms expectantly and leaning against the door.

He made note of the way she cocked her head, an inquisitive look in her eye. He'd come to know that gesture well since they'd started this mission and he'd seen how curious she was under all the military discipline. "Not about the mission," he answered her question, "About the crew. I've never served on a human ship before and…well, I'm afraid I don't know much about your people."

"Ah," she nodded in understanding, "you're worried you're gonna misunderstand something or say something stupid, right?"

He seemed ready to argue the wording but finally conceded and sighed. "Yes."

"This I can help with." She gestured to him to take a seat in her chair then sat down on her bed. "OK, shoot. Give me an example."

He almost hesitated, but the commander was genuinely an easy person to talk to. "Well, after the mission today, Chief Williams pushed me. I wasn't sure how to respond."

"She did what? What's the context here?"

"That's just it. She complimented me on a shot and then shoved me, which I assumed was an insult."

"Oh! No, this…" She stepped over and delivered a playful nudge to his arm. "…is a friendly or teasing 'nice one, buddy.' This is a 'come at me' shove." She accented that by pushing him so hard he fell out of her chair. "Oops. Sorry."

He shook it off and pulled himself up. "Are all human gestures so confrontational?"

"Not all of them. Why?"

"Well, I also saw Chief Williams and Lieutenant Alenko…slapping each other's hands?"

"Oh, yeah, like this?" She held up her hand.

"Yes, like that!" He demonstrated by clapping his own hand against hers.

"Ow!" She flinched back. "Talons."

"Oh," he winced, withdrawing his hand, "Sorry."

She shook her head to let him know it was fine. "It's called a high-five. It's celebratory. Oh, and just in case it comes up…" She held up her fist and gestured to him to copy her. When he uncertainly complied, she tapped hers against his. "Fist bump. Same thing, lower key."

"I see. Should I be taking notes?"

"I think you'll get used to it after enough time on a human ship. Anything else you were curious about?"

"Uh…yes. What does it mean if something's gone 'pear-shaped'?"

She blinked as she considered how to answer this. "…if we're going into idioms, you are gonna need to take notes."

They spent the next hour discussing human sayings Garrus had heard in the past five days, then ones he'd heard over his years in C-Sec, then ones Shepard particularly liked. Garrus' reactions ranged from incredulity ("Humans actually used to keep their pets on the roof?!" "Yeah, not a good idea when it rained.") to amusement ("Why pigs specifically?" "That's the funniest thing to imagine flying, I guess."). After an hour, they'd been enjoying the conversation so much that they had practically forgotten about the mission. It was only when Joker came over the PA to inform them that they were approaching the Attican Beta cluster that they remembered they were supposed to be preparing for another trip ashore.

Garrus was even reluctant to leave. "Thanks, commander. This was…illuminating."

Shepard smirked. "Well, if you've got anymore questions, my door's always open."

He nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

The next day, when Shepard was recovering from the events on Feros with a sleepless rest on her bed, there was another knock on her door. This time, not distracted, she could hear the difference between three talons rapping rather than five knuckles tapping. She smirked to herself as she got up and answered. "Back already?"

Garrus hadn't been nervous about approaching her with more questions until he heard her ask that one. "Yes. Should I not be? Am I disturbing you?"

She gestured to him to calm down. "No, Garrus, it's fine. I said 'always' and I meant it." Even the middle of the night, the way I've been sleeping. She elected not to voice that part. She couldn't afford to appear vulnerable in front of the crew with everyone that was going on. Though she got the sense that Garrus would easily let her lean on him. Pushing that thought aside, she gave him her full attention. "What may I teach you tonight, grasshopper?"

He gave her a look. "Well, for starters, what that means."

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Cultural reference."

"Actually, that's what I'm asking about. I keep hearing sayings that definitely aren't 'idioms' like we talked about last night."

She sighed. They were hitting a rabbit hole with this one. "Some of those might not be as easy to explain. I may end up giving you homework."

He just barely kept from laughing. "This is a class now? Am I gonna be tested and graded?"

"Not if you do the homework. Come on, lay it on me."

They spent an hour talking again. As she had predicted, they didn't go through quite so many references as they had figures of speech. So she made good on her word and gave him homework, telling him to look up on the extranet such human classics as "Star Wars," "Star Trek," "Wizard of Oz," and several assorted superheroes. With this in mind, she expected him to drop in on her again the next night with an update on his progress.

What she didn't expect was for him to come by with the news that he had watched "Wizard of Oz" already and also stumbled upon some interesting details about human history in the search for the vid. In retrospect, she probably should've expected that to some degree since the story was originally devised as an economic allegory. Since human history was such a long and entangled subject, though, even giving him small samplings required an hour's worth of interconnected context. This was the final straw to making his visits a nightly occurrence.

Rumors spread through the ship quickly that their turian crewmate was seeing the commander for an hour every night. The second Shepard heard them going around, she decided to put her foot down early and say that she was teaching a "single student social studies course." The rumors stopped when some of them started noticing Garrus looking up what a Jedi was in his spare time, but it was noticeable that no one attempted to give him any stories or suggestions of their own, no one willing to step in the commander's territory. Pressly did briefly consider raising a concern for the commander devoting so much of her time to "tutoring" an alien, but he quickly gave up on the idea without even voicing it when he saw that Vakarian's morale was improving as he blended better with the human crew…and, in fact, Shepard's morale seemed to be improving, too.

The day of the mission to Noveria, Shepard was telling Garrus about the much-fantasized times of the wild, Wild West. "So if you've ever heard someone called a 'cowboy,' it basically means they're an adventurous loner who likes to press their luck and maybe has a big thing about justice—" She cut herself off, smirking at him. "Kind of like you, actually."

He shook his head, giving her a look. "Yeah, right."

She cocked her head at him. "What was that?"

"…what?"

"Your face just now. Was that a smile or a sneer? I legitimately can't tell."

"I don't know. Kind of halfway between? You were teasing me, after all."

"Hmm. You know, we've been spending all this time talking about my people so you can be comfortable on the ship, but you're on my team and I don't know much about turians. Being able to understand your facial expressions would be a nice start."

He shrugged. "If you're asking me to teach you in return, I'm willing to try."

She smirked. "Good. I can't wait to see how you do."

He did remarkably well. There was a surprising amount of subtlety in turian body language and sub-vocals. Some of it simply couldn't be conveyed over species barriers, but Shepard had always been a quick learner and managed to pick up on the most important parts. Their "lessons" changed after that, Shepard spending a half hour teaching Garrus about human culture and then Garrus spending the next half hour teaching Shepard about turian culture. They were both benefiting from the arrangement, so they didn't think much of it. It was only when Tali made a comment about Shepard spending more time with Garrus than any of the human crewmen that Shepard realized she had managed to find a genuine friend in the turian operative, one she was more than happy to just sit around and chat with.

The only night they didn't have a "lesson" was the night of Virmire. After she had seen to all the crewmen about their grief, Shepard had been left alone with her own. She didn't handle grief well. Once they had a bearing plugged in, she had retreated to her cabin and curled up on her bed, trying not to feel guilty about her failure. When she heard a now long familiar knock sound on her door, she ignored it.

"Shepard, I know you're in there," Garrus spoke up instead of knocking a second time.

Later, she'd pick up on the significance of him using her name instead of her title to address her and wonder if that was the first time, if she had missed a transition in all of their hour-long conversations. Right now, she just tensed up further and told him "I need to be alone right now."

"No, you don't." When the door still didn't open, he sighed. "Let me tell you something about humans that I seem to know and you seem to not. When one of them sees a friend hurting over a loss, they'll bend over backwards to help them through the hurt. But when that same human is facing a loss, they'll shut those friends out so no one can do the same for them." He scoffed. "Or is that just you?"

She sat there in silence a moment longer before finally succumbing to the knowledge that he'd seen right through her and getting up to open the door. Of course, right after letting him in, she sat back down.

He knew her well enough not to push her too hard. But he couldn't just stay back and let her blame herself for what had happened. So he sat down beside her on the bed and simply stayed there with her.

By the time they made it to Ilos the next day, Shepard knew Garrus was one of the few people in the galaxy she could always count on. He proved it when he stood with her against Sovereign. Partly because she could tell he felt the same way about her.

Which was why he was so affected by her apparent death.

When the news came to him that Commander Shepard was KIA, it was like the world was broken. A close friend who'd given him purpose when he lost hope…just gone. Suddenly, all those nights they'd spent together were treasured memories instead of just learning experiences. At first, he missed her. Then he was lost without her. So lost he wound up on Omega, the last place anyone would want to end up at. Fortunately for him, that was how she found him again when she came back.

Leave it to Commander Shepard to consider death a catnap.

He was in the med-bay the day they found each other again. But the very next night, when she wasn't expecting it, it meant the world (or galaxy, as the case may be) to hear his familiar knock at her new door. She beamed at the sound of it, never rushing to answer so fast.

She even hugged him when she opened it, before he could say anything.

"Oh," he smirked at the greeting, hugging her back, "I missed you, too."

She laughed briefly then led him in. "I do wanna hear this 'long story' you got yourself into while I was…gone."

"Before or after we get to my questions?" He held up his omni-tool, revealing a whole list.

She looked between him and the list for a moment, not sure whether to be shocked, flattered, or amused. "You've been keeping a list all this time?" Then she realized something definitely wrong with this scenario. "Wait, why were you keeping a list if you thought I was dead?"

He seemed hesitant to address the matter, settling for a shrug and a non-committal, barely audible excuse.

She saw his meaning well enough. Deep down, he had wanted to believe that keeping the list was keeping her alive, a promise he'd see her again. She'd learned enough about turians to know they didn't normally think that way. Maybe she'd taught him a little too well.

Just like that, they were back to the old routine as if nothing had happened, as if the last two years were simply an extended vacation from the "class." Once again, rumors started spreading when the crew realized that Garrus was visiting the commander in her cabin every night. He couldn't help but notice that she didn't even try to put them to bed this time. She just let them talk.

Let them see that a turian and a human could be best friends.

Days and weeks went by as they drew ever closer to the approaching suicide mission. Their outlook was grim, but Shepard and Garrus seemed determined to keep each other's minds off that part. Underneath that determination, though, they both knew there was no escaping it. They had no intention of turning back and no guarantee of making it through. Slowly, that dread began to seep in. It wasn't long before one of them noticed the other fighting it.

Shepard, naturally, was the first of the two to catch on. Seeing her cocky, cheerfully pessimistic turian friend starting to feel the weight of it all was a bit much for her. She was the one carrying the brunt of it, after all, not him. If he was feeling any of it, she was doing something wrong as a leader. If she started letting the dread eat away at him, he'd start losing morale and then losing efficiency and then losing his drive. If that happened, she might lose him. She couldn't let that happen.

So she made it her new top priority to pick him back up. "Here. I want you to have something." She reached into her pocket and pulled out something, handing it over to him.

He turned it over in his hand and blinked. "…it's a button."

She gave him a look. "Yes, I can see that. A friend gave it to me, said it was good luck. I'm inclined to believe it since I've dodged quite a few bullets while I was carrying it."

"Don't you need it more than I do?"

"…yeah, I think all the luck it's willing to give me got spent about two years ago."

Oh. Consenting, he placed the trinket in his pocket. "Fair."

"Just be careful out there. I can't do this without you."

"Sure you can," he smirked, "Not as stylishly, of course."

She was too busy laughing in response to push him about just how much she did need him. The fact was that he had been behind her for most all her recent victories. Ever since the crash, he had become the most steadfast thing in her universe. Perhaps he was her good luck charm now. Even if she could make it without him, she didn't want to try.

She didn't want to…what did that mean?

She was strangely quiet when he left the cabin that night. The thought was sinking in, planting its seed in her mind. She slept on it that night, watering the seed to wake up to a bud. It didn't suddenly hit her like it should have, though. It took the next day to flower.

That was the day he faced his demons. The day he faced the shadows of vengeance and hatred and rage and shot them down. If ever she knew how she felt about him, it was then.

And if ever he needed her, this was the time.

When he came to her cabin that night, he was more somber than usual. It wasn't in his nature to be this quiet, so it bothered her. He still gave her the usual greeting as they sat down together, but he couldn't hide what was under the surface. Certainly not since he taught her how to read his eyes, his mandibles, his sub-vocals. He should've known that would come back to bite him.

He finally saw the subdued sorrow lurking in her gaze and started rushing to change the subject. "Why don't we just get straight to it? I was going to ask you about a story, right?"

She nodded. "Right." She told him the story of Beauty and the Beast, from the stolen rose to the broken curse. A story of a love stronger than vanity, pride, or hate. It was telling this, her favorite fairy tale, that finally made her see what she needed to do.

"Thanks, Shepard," he told her when he got up to go, "I'd better head back down and call it a night."

"Of course," she nodded. Then, before she could think better of it or he could walk away, she planted a kiss on his uninjured mandible. "Good night."

He seemed stunned by the gesture. Thankfully, he was too stunned to question it, giving her a simple "good night" in return before heading back down to the battery.

Neither of them slept easily that night. Shepard was worried she'd made a mistake and Garrus wasn't sure how to interpret it even if she had. They barely crossed paths the next day, Garrus not even going groundside for the mission the squad wound up on. No, he stayed in the battery, ostensibly to work on the calibrations but genuinely to ponder his commander—his friend's actions.

That night, just as Shepard was considering apologizing, he came to see her. "Garrus. I wanted to talk to you. I—"

"Good," he said, "because I wanted to talk to you, too."

She braced herself before nodding. "OK."

"Well, you said I could drop in if I had any questions."

She recognized those words, of course. They'd started them down this path, back when they had barely met. She wasn't sure how to respond to them.

He cautiously started to step closer. "And someone did something that I…don't really know how to take."

Was it getting hotter in there or was her stomach turning over? "Yes?"

"See…someone I care about gave me…what's it called? A 'kiss'?"

She couldn't help a small smile. "Yes. A sign of appreciation or consolation…or affection."

He reflected her smile perfectly despite their differing facial structures. "It is, huh? How do you know which one?"

She felt her tension easing up—he was good at doing that—and shrugged. "Same way you can tell the meaning behind a one-word sentence by tone of voice. Do you know how much she meant it?"

He was close enough to touch her now, his eyes sharp on hers. "I think so. I still don't know what the best response is."

She took his hand, bringing him to sit down with her on the bed. "Well…when humans want to really show affection…they'll take each other's hands…" She clutched his hands tighter, prompting his talons to curl around her fingers. "…they'll look into each other's eyes…" She drew closer to him, almost laying her head against his to gaze deeper into his bright blue eyes. "…and…they'll…" Then she abandoned words entirely in favor of action, pressing herself against him and kissing him like she'd never kissed anyone before.

He never had been kissed before. It had always seemed to him a strange way to show affection. Now, however, he saw why humans did it. In fact, he saw more than humans could why, since turians senses were stronger and still all consumed by the embrace.

When she finally separated, he looked at her in an entirely new way. "And should I ever be in that situation again," he smirked suggestively, "what do I do?"

She smiled. "That's advanced curriculum, Vakarian. You sure you're ready for it?"

"I'm a fast learner."

"I suppose you are. Well, each human has preferences, of course, so I'll just have to show you mine." So she moved even closer, practically resting a leg on his lap, and showed him how to wrap his arms around her, one hand on her lower back and one gently sifting her hair. Then she walked him, step by step, through the process of returning her affections.

He stayed close even when they broke apart again. "How am I doing?"

"A+," she beamed, "You may even be retroactively spoiling every kiss I've had with a human partner."

He simply nuzzled against her. "I almost wish I could say the same."

She snickered. "What are you doing?"

"This is how turians show affection."

"Oh? And how else do they do that?"

He gave her a sly glance. "Well, since the mandibles make it hard to have an 'in between,' it goes straight from nuzzling to…'advanced curriculum.'"

Catching his meaning, she answered with an inviting glance of her own. "Lucky for you then. I'm a fast learner, too."

"So you are."

In a moment, they were sprawled on the bed together, wrapped up in each other. Suddenly, the dread that had been slowly creeping in on them was the last thing on their minds.

The next morning, the rest of the squad was gathered in the mess. It wasn't unusual for Kasumi to "pop in" on them, but it still made several of them jump when, out of nowhere and into a complete silence, the thief uncloaked as if she had been sitting right there the whole time.

Which she did now. "Hey, everyone!"

Making Jack drop her spoon with a loud clatter. "Kasumi!" she snapped, slamming her hands onto the table menacingly, "So help me, if you do that again, I will—!"

"Yeah, yeah, threaten and posture, like I haven't heard it 1000 times before. Anyway, doesn't anyone wanna hear what I found last night?"

"Have you been spying on us all again?" Samara asked. Her voice was calm, but there was definitely an underlying sense of "you do not want to answer me incorrectly."

"Not all of you. I know what's good for me." She smirked, leaning on the table in the way only a gossipmonger would do. "Guess who I saw going into Shepard's cabin last night?"

"Officer Vakarian," Thane immediately answered, "He goes every night. We all know of this."

"Well, guess who didn't come back out?"

That got everyone's attention.

Miranda scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. You're reading too much into this. The two of them are close friends, they spend a lot of time together. They were probably just up later than usual and he left after you went to bed."

"I don't know," Tali spoke up warily, "They don't usually like to bother each other more than usual. And nothing happened yesterday that might have kept them."

"Look," Miranda sighed, "this is easily resolved. EDI, where is Garrus right now?"

"Officer Vakarian's whereabouts," EDI answered, "have been flagged as 'top secret' by Commander Shepard."

Miranda froze when she heard that. That was pretty irrefutable. It probably would've done the commander just as much good to let the AI tell everyone he was in her bed right that second.

"Hmm," Mordin seemed to perk up at the news, "interesting mating choice. Would've suggested coming to me first for medical advice on the matter."

Jacob promptly dropped his fork. "Suddenly, I've lost my appetite."

"Ha!" Jack smirked, "What's the matter? Don't like to think of your golden girl as a bird lover?"

"Have any of you considered we are jumping to conclusions?" Samara politely suggested.

"Please," Grunt shook his head, "I can smell them from here."

"What?"

At Grunt's cue, the elevator arrived to let Garrus onto the deck and into the mess. "Sorry I'm late." He pointedly did not address the matter of why he was late or where he had just come from, to which the others started exchanging knowing looks. To the credit of his detective background, he picked up on it fairly quickly. "What?"

"Oh, nothing…" Tali said, handing him a plate of dextro rations without looking him in the eye.

Garrus was still eying them all warily as he sat down and started eating. It didn't escape his notice that none of them were really looking at him in return.

Finally, the elevator arrived again and let Shepard out. The commander stepped past them all with a cursory greeting, heading straight for the nearest bacon and muffin supplies. Once she'd taken a bite, she noticed that no one was looking at her either. "…something wrong?"

"Nothing," Zaeed waved off the insinuation, "Just thought you'd be wanting eggs."

Shepard blinked in confusion. "What? Why?"

"Since you seem to enjoy chickens so much."

Kasumi couldn't stop herself from giggling fast enough. She still managed to stifle it, but the message got across.

Garrus suddenly realized they'd been caught and started pondering the physics of how to sink through his chair, the floor, and eventually the hull of the ship.

Shepard took half a second to be mortified at the implication…then smirked tauntingly. "And they enjoy me more than you ever will."

Kasumi didn't bother trying to stop herself this time. The others had to catch themselves, though, Zaeed even leaning back as if to say "alright, well played."

Shepard looked over her snickering squad-mates to her newfound boyfriend, winking at him before turning her attention back to breakfast.

Garrus smirked to himself. That settled it, then. She was picking him. Over everyone else in the galaxy who would've thrown themselves at her feet, she wanted him. The sense of belonging and adoration that swept through him now was incomparable.

He had a feeling their "social studies" class was over. Just like that, he'd been transferred to "Human Affection 101."