I wanted to explore what the show ended too soon to cover, especially Catra and Adora's relationship, so I wrote this. I haven't read any other She-Ra fanfiction; for better or worse, this is entirely my own extrapolation of the show. I hope it's enjoyable!

This story would not be nearly as good without the help of the skilled and insightful Sakarrie and Ningyou Macher.

Note: this chapter contains mild sexual content.

"Adora!"

Catra sat bolt upright, panting. The room was dark, but it was never totally dark—not here, and especially not for her. She glanced around, heart slowing as she recognized the pinks and purples in the soft glow coming through the windows. Standing alert beside her, Melog nudged her shoulder.

'Okay?'

"...Yeah. I'm fine." She rubbed the big cat behind the ears, and Melog's spiky red mane eased back into blue. Standing up from the floor—having abandoned the too-soft bed—Catra wandered over to the window and stared out at the Moonstone. It hung impossibly in the starry sky, huge and luminous.

They had won.

It was hard to believe. She still expected… something. For the other shoe to drop, for them to find out they had been naïve idiots and Horde Prime was still out there…

But the spires were quiet, the clones and drones were being dealt with, and the nightmarish flashes in her head were just that: bad dreams. Even if they were terrifying.

'Going to check on Adora?'

"What?" she asked, spinning around. Melog met her gaze with sky-blue eyes that held no trace of judgment, only calm understanding. Catra turned away and scratched her ear. "...I guess I could."

Melog rubbed against Catra's leg and followed after her as she padded into the hall. Catra paused a few steps outside her room, closing her eyes and picturing the map Double Trouble had sketched for her, then turned and headed the right way. Without prompting, Melog cloaked them as the tread of a guard became audible. The armored figure didn't even pause as the two of them slipped by. It wasn't like it mattered if Catra was caught, but the guards still didn't trust her, and she didn't want to be interrogated in her underwear.

Adora's room was dark when she stepped inside. She closed the door behind her with only a click, but the shape on the canopied bed sat up and cast off the covers. Adora's hair was let down and mussed, her body covered by a camisole and boxers.

"Who's there?"

For a moment, Catra considered staying hidden. She might still be able to slip away…

"I'm warning you, I've gotten much faster at saying 'For the hon—' "

"Adora!" Catra interrupted, stepping out of Melog's illusion. "It's me."

Adora's face split into a wide smile, and something warm and fuzzy filled Catra from head to toe. It wasn't long ago that her reveal would have had the opposite effect. Catra automatically closed the distance, a smile tugging at her own lips.

"Of course you go straight to threatening me."

"Can you blame me?" Adora snorted. "What are you doing up so late, anyway?"

Bad dreams, she wanted to say, but even now the walls were up. "I don't know how anyone could sleep on a bed that's trying to eat them."

Adora giggled. "Right? I thought the same thing when I first came here."

"And the food!" Catra sat on the floor with her back against the bed. "That feast almost killed me. I know there's more to life than ration bars, but princesses are crazy!"

"Yeah…" Adora said dreamily, reaching out to scratch Melog's head. "There's so many things I need you to try."

"You liked brown ration bars," Catra said. "I don't think I can trust your judgment on food."

"Hey!" Adora cried indignantly, appearing upside down above Catra. Her blond locks spilled down to tickle Catra's chin. "I liked the gray ones way more. I just thought the brown ones had their own merits."

"Is the taste of dirt a merit?" She blew Adora's hair away. "I'm pretty sure there was actual mud in those things."

Adora shook her head vigorously in response, making Catra sputter and laugh as hair swept across her face.

"You— pfft— ah!" She pushed herself up from the ground and pressed Adora back against the bed. Adora tried to squirm away, giggling, but stopped as their gazes met. In the moment of stillness, Catra stared down into the beautiful blue eyes below her and felt her heart stutter, wanting things she'd never considered before.

"You wanna sleep over tonight?" Adora asked, a little breathlessly. "This bed won't try to eat you."

That was an excuse, Catra knew, but she let herself topple to the side and couldn't help but smile as Adora snuggled up to her. A chin pressed against the top of her head as Adora's other arm wrapped around her bare waist, holding her to the warm, firm body behind her.

"Just like old times," Catra murmured.

"Just like old times," Adora agreed, a smile in her voice, but she had to know the words were a lie. Too much had changed.

Not for worse, though.

Being surrounded by Adora's warmth used to be a better sleep aid than a Force Captain lecture. Maybe Catra should have expected that it wouldn't work like that anymore. She took hold of the hand on her stomach and splayed out Adora's fingers, tracing her claws over the toughened skin as her heart beat a little faster than it should've.

"What's up?" Adora asked.

"Were you awake when I came in here?" she blurted, because that was safe. It was the question she could stand to ask right now and not the one caught in her throat.

"Yeah," Adora admitted after a moment. "I was thinking about everything that's happened. I keep trying to wrap my head around it, but… half of it seems like a dream."

Catra rubbed her thumb across Adora's palm. Strong fingers wrapped over hers, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Some parts more than others," Adora added softly, and Catra blushed. If she was going to bring it up, there was hardly a better time.

"Back there, under the Heart…" Catra began, and faltered.

Adora waited with uncharacteristic patience until Catra found her voice again.

"Was I… you know… your first?"

"Of course, dummy," Adora answered immediately, giving her waist a squeeze.

It was stupid how happy that made her. Catra turned over and found that infuriating smile on Adora's face, the one that said 'You loooove me.'

"Don't you care if it was my first?" Catra snapped reflexively, trying to wipe away the smirk.

Adora gave a theatrical pout. "I already know your first kiss wasn't with me."

"What?!" Catra squeaked. "No—"

Then she caught on, and Adora broke into a laugh at her expression.

"And you say I fall for things easily—"

Catra sat up, bristling. "You fell for every single trick I pulled when I was working for the Horde—"

A hand on her arm stopped her and pulled her gaze back to those blue eyes. They were soft, apologetic.

"I'm glad you were my first kiss," Adora said. "And— that I was yours."

Catra's hackles lowered as her indignation faded, and she lay back down on her side. "...Me too."

They stared at each other for a quiet moment, only inches apart. Adora's smile returned, with a hint of its former smugness.

"Want to be my second, too?"

Catra couldn't help the dumb smile that spread across her face. She cupped Adora's cheek, leaning in as her heart started to pound.

It wasn't quite the same without the huge surge of magic and all the pent-up emotions of a lifetime pouring out, but it was good, nonetheless. Adora pulled back grinning.

"How about my th— mmph…"

Catra cut her off, taking her third kiss. And her fourth. And her fifth. On the sixth they accidentally bumped noses, but by the seventh they had found more of a flow.

During the tenth, Catra swept a leg over Adora's waist and pinned her to the bed, her fingers weaving in blond hair.

By the twenty...somethingth, their tongues had begun a hesitant, clumsy dance that gradually grew more sure.

When Catra finally pulled away, panting, staring down at Adora's flushed face, she had completely lost count. Her body felt warm, and strange. Adora's messy hair, her slightly parted lips, the way her shirt rode up to expose a strip of toned stomach… It did something to her. She wanted Adora.

"You're purring," Adora murmured with a smile, reaching up to lay her hand on Catra's chest. The touch between her breasts was electric, and Catra shivered as she leaned down to press her lips against Adora's neck, her voice husky.

"How about another first?"

She slid her hands under Adora's shirt, feeling up the smooth, warm skin—

—and Adora's hands closed around her wrists. Catra looked up, unable to keep the hurt and confusion off her face.

"Catra, I don't— think we should…"

"Why?"

Adora tried to shift her hands up to hold Catra's, but Catra batted them away and sat back on her knees. Adora looked so helpless underneath her, struggling for the words that would quell Catra's rising bile.

"Catra, I… I just don't know…"

Every ounce of bitterness from her past came flooding back to her. Like it always did, like it never really went away. "What, am I not good enough?" Catra spat. Melog jumped up from napping on the floor, hackles raised and glowing red.

"Catra, no—"

"I thought it would be different now—"

"That's not—"

"—but I guess some things never change—"

"Stop it!" Adora shouted, shocking Catra into silence. The flash of anger instantly dissolved into regret, and Adora took Catra's hands in hers, searching her eyes. "Catra, listen to me. I love you. I— I want my first time to be with you. I want every time to be with you. I just— I'm not ready, okay?"

Catra stared at her, feeling like she'd been kicked in the gut.

I'm such an idiot.

She wanted so badly to go back in time. Just a minute ago, they were breathless and happy and reveling in the newfound excitement of their relationship. Why did she have to take it so personally every time Adora told her no?

'Someone coming,' Melog said, and Catra shoved away from Adora a second before the door opened.

"Is everything all right?" came Bow's voice, slightly out of breath. "I heard a shout."

Catra turned away from the silhouette in the doorway and sat on the edge of the bed, her back to the light. She could feel Bow's eyes on the back of her head.

"We're fine," Adora said. "Sorry I woke you up, Bow."

"Actually, I couldn't sleep," Bow said. "Just… a lot to think about, you know?"

"Yeah," Adora murmured. "We couldn't sleep either. Maybe you should check on Glimmer."

There was a pause, then Bow left and the door closed again. Catra could feel Adora's weight shift towards her on the bed. It took everything in her to force out the words before Adora could speak.

"I'm sorry," Catra whispered.

Warm fingers touched her arm and she flinched, but allowed Adora to take her hand.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," Adora said. "Stay. Please."

What had she done to deserve Adora? How could she be forgiven over and over? Not just by Adora, but by everyone she had hurt again and again…

Wordlessly, she curled up at the foot of the bed. Adora lay back, slipping her legs under the sheets.

Catra froze when she felt Adora's fingers on her head, running through her short-cropped hair. Noticing the sudden tension, Adora started to pull away, but Catra's hand shot up to grab her wrist; then Catra's face warmed and she forced her grip to loosen, looking away. The hand remained on Catra's head, gently scratching her scalp.

"You never said," Catra mumbled eventually. "About my hair."

"Said what?"

"If you liked it."

"It's cute like this," Adora said. "Though I do sorta miss the mane."

"Yeah," Catra said softly. "Me too."

It had been stolen from her. Just like everything else.

The fingers on her head began tracing along her ears, making her shiver intensely and sit up. "Hey!"

"Still works," Adora giggled.

"Of course it still works!" Catra said indignantly. "It's only been—"

Years. Not that long in the grand scheme of things, but it felt like a lifetime since Adora had last teased her ears.

"—a while," she finished lamely. Adora's eyes still held a twinkle in the darkness, but her amusement faded into something nostalgic.

"Remember when I first figured that out? I don't think we've ever wrestled so much in one day. Shadow Weaver was so mad…"

Adora trailed off. After a while, Catra shifted closer to her.

"It's… hard to believe she's gone," Adora said. "She's been there ever since I can remember…"

Her gaze stretched far beyond the room, and Catra wondered what memories Adora was lost in. It was hard to look back fondly on anything involving Shadow Weaver. One of the first things Catra could remember was crying in the face of the sorceress's vitriol. "Worthless child," Shadow Weaver had called her. Just because she spilled something on the sorceress's robe.

"I hated her," Catra said, voice barely above a whisper. "I hated her, and I'm glad she's dead."

"Catra!" Adora scolded, shocked.

"I am!" Catra snapped. "She was horrible and manipulative and— and cruel. Everything she ever did was for her own sake."

Adora opened her mouth, hesitated, and the moment stretched into silence. There was little she could say against that, but her hand found Catra's.

"So— So why—" Catra's voice hitched, and her next words were painful to force out. "Why do I miss her?"

"Oh, Catra…" Adora's eyes glistened in the darkness.

"Why did she do it, Adora?" Catra sniffled, tears starting to run against her best efforts. "Why did she— did she—"

Adora pulled her close, and Catra buried her face against her chest. She could feel wetness where Adora's cheek pressed against her hair.

"I don't know," Adora whispered. "But she saved us, everyone. I kept thinking she had some plot, some way to spin all of this to her advantage, right— right up until the end."

Catra wiped away the hot tears that ran down her cheeks, fighting down a swell of bitterness. One moment couldn't make up for a lifetime. Shadow Weaver didn't deserve her grief… but she was gone, and they were here. Catra took a deep breath to center herself and Adora's scent filled her lungs, warm and familiar. Melog rubbed against her leg comfortingly.

"There's going to be a funeral," Adora said, eventually.

"To bury what?" Catra meant to sound withering, but it came out listless.

Adora pulled away from her to pick up a box on her bedside table. She opened the case in her lap, revealing red and black shapes that reflected none of the room's ambient light. "Glimmer went back and found it," Adora said.

Catra traced a claw over the largest piece of the shattered mask. "When we were little, I thought she didn't have a face. I used to have nightmares about her taking this off…"

"Do you think it was just to look scary?" Adora asked quietly. "Or was she… ashamed?"

They were silent for a moment, each thinking of that gray, warped face, fangs bared in an unlikely smile.

"I am so proud of you, Catra."

That twisted like a knife inside her, made her eyes burn and her throat close, but she refused to cry. Not again, not for her.

When it was clear neither of them had more to say, Adora laid the box back on the table and slipped under the covers. Catra stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at nothing until Adora touched her arm.

"We should get some sleep."

Catra took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "Yeah."

She curled up next to Adora, who brushed her fingers through Catra's hair a few times before leaving her hand there. Catra closed her eyes and listened to Adora's breathing, trying to find sleep through her whirling emotions.

Just like old times.

Chapters will be posted every two weeks. Chapter 2 will be posted May 29th.