January 2019
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Sheldon J. Plankton had just been foiled in yet another attempt to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.
After 60+ years of trying, he felt like he was about to snap.
Karen, his computer wife, came to help him.
"Plankton, why don't you just give it a rest, already?", she exclaimed.
"I mean, you obviously know things aren't going to work out for you, so..."
"So what?", the amoeba wondered.
"Why don't you do something else with your life."
Plankton thought for a good two hours.
Then he realized something he should've done long ago.
"Karen, I know you're not really my wife. I built you after all, so you're more like my daughter."
That could only mean one thing.
Time for Plankton to get a girlfriend.
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March 2019
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After browsing through multiple profiles and websites, he finally found the perfect woman to talk to.
The woman, named Elizabeth, was an intelligent amoeba just like him.
It seemed to good to be true, so Plankton thought of what he had to say.
"Hi there. My name's Sheldon Plankton. I like science, am an amateur inventor, and also have a side job in the service industry."
"My name's Elizabeth. I have a degree in psychology, and I'm interested in making the world a better place for sea-kind. Hope to know more about you."
"Great. Hope to hear back :) - Sheldon"
Plankton was overjoyed. The thought of finally getting away from his cold-hearted computer seemed like a dream come true.
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June 2019
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"Hi Elizabeth. It was nice getting to know you. Sorry I'm six months late in sending you this message. We just met, and I feel like I have to think carefully before typing.
I don't want to come across as something I'm not, so I'm giving you some time to be patient with me."
"That's cool, Sheldon. Maybe we can talk about what we have in common in person someday."
Plankton made a "yes" motion with his hand, as he thought long and hard about his next message, and gave her a follow, and liked some of her posts.
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January 2020
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The COVID-19 pandemic had just rolled around.
Since it was New Year's, Plankton messaged Elizabeth, wishing her a happy 2020.
A few days later, no response.
On February, he messaged her again.
"Hi Elizabeth, it's Sheldon Plankton. I sent you a message last month wishing you a Happy New Year, but I can see you're probably busy. I hope nothing serious is going on, and I hope we can get back in touch. Hope to hear back."
Then the COVID-19 pandemic rolled around.
Plankton kept checking back every week for three months, but still, no response.
"Dear Neptune, I hope she isn't dead.", he wondered.
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April 2020
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He decided to check on Elizabeth's profile, and strangely enough it showed her commenting on other people's posts.
Plankton wondered if it was because he liked some of her posts, so he un-liked them, and was immediately blocked.
The amoeba was about to blow a gasket, but he realized that wasn't the right thing to do, so he could just be patient.
In his mind, she was probably just on edge from the pandemic and wasn't in the right mood to chat.
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June 2020
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Plankton was busy doing other things, like trying to make chum that was actually edible, when he had a dream.
The dream was Elizabeth laughing manically, as the police were surrounding him as he begged and pleaded.
He then woke up, and went on her profile so see if she was more active.
It showed her making many jokes about the pandemic, making muffins, and even being outside with her friends.
"Whew", he thought.
"It's good to know she still has a sense of humor and isn't paranoid."
He finally got the courage to begin typing.
"Hi Elizabeth. It's Sheldon. I haven't got the chance to talk to you since January; I didn't want to come across as harassing you, especially during this pandemic. Hope you're doing well. I remember "liking" some photos on a post you've made, and you suddenly blocked me. I'm sending this from another account. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong, and I hope you'll forgive me. I'm wondering if it's still okay to talk with you. Hope to hear back and we can possibly get things straightened out. Thanks."
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January 2021
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Plankton was busy pacing around the floor in a nervous fidget, trying for the life to him to figure out what he did different.
"I apologized. I ******* apologized! And we were just fine before the pandemic. But I know it's not that, because she's just commenting with her friends like nothing's wrong.", he thought.
He took a look at his new account to see if there was a response, and of course, he was blocked again.
His face then took a turn for the worse. He couldn't sleep for weeks.
He sought medical treatment, and took various pills to help cope with his anxiety.
Then, lo and behold, he got a message.
The "1" on his notification bell sounded like an angelic choir to him.
So saying, he opened it up, prepared for what was inside.
"Stop stalking me."
These three simple words made his heart almost stop.
He tried to be courteous, as he got ready to type a reply message.
"Don't think I don't know what you're up to. You just acted kind to me because you want something perverted from me."
Plankton could not believe what he was hearing.
This was one of the only times when he made sure his behavior wasn't criminal.
He scrolled down some more.
"You need professional help. I know how clever you are. You think because you're not messaging me day after day, you're not being a stalker.
This is only more incriminating because you're trying your best to cover up that you ARE a stalker. The reason I ignored you out of the blue, was because I thought you could get it past your thick skull that I set you up this whole time, and I want nothing to do with you.
You are not the good person you believe yourself to be. You care nothing about this pandemic. You care nothing about hate crimes.
Get some help, start caring about the world's problems, starting with the over 500,000 people that are dead because of insensitive, selfish people like you, and start caring about my problems and my recent drug addiction, which is, once again, solely because of you. No, actually scratch that. Because showing you care about me only means you're stalking me more. So go ahead, own your transgressions. The world does not revolve around you, and understand, you were never welcome here."
The amoeba turned completely white, with an emotionless gaze other than that of pure fear.
Elizabeth, meanwhile, was revealed to have typed the whole thing from the FBI headquarters.
She had been working with them to set up a sting operation.
Just then a video came up on Plankton's screen.
With one greyish-green hand trembling, he opened it.
"Sheldon J. Plankton.", the agent said, standing next to a smug Elizabeth.
"I have a warrant for your arrest. Thanks to our sting operation, you are under arrest for serial cyberstalking and sexual assault. Just like Jeffrey Epstein."
He was set up.
For once in his life, Plankton attempted to do nothing wrong, even to make things right.
As he saw the GPS of the police cars moving closer and closer to his house, he grabbed a nearby gun.
Tears filled up in his eye, as he managed to gather enough strength to build a machine that would pull the trigger at the push of a button.
He slowly put the giant barrel right in front of his mouth
Elizabeth then Face-Timed him, along with the chief, with a smug grin on her face.
"What do you know? He's even more like Epstein than we thought.", she chuckled.
Hearing that one simple micro-laugh, especially since he knew she could see him now, the amoeba gently pushed the button as the dozen police cars and helicopters stopped in front of his home.