Gone but Not Forgotten
The bar was small and cozy. The low murmur of the other customers out for the night in the background did not bother him. The wooden interior gave off a warm vibe that allowed him to relax. Levi settled himself a little further into the soft cushions of his seat as he stared at the tiny droplets of condense sliding slowly down his beer glass, his fingers of his good hand fiddling with one of the coasters. He didn't drink beer often - didn't care about alcohol all that much. He preferred to keep his mind clear and his body under control. But sometimes - like tonight, Levi could make an exception. Now that he thought about it, he was making a lot of exceptions lately. Huh.
A movement had him looking up. Onyankopon slid into the seat across him, giving him a soft smile. "And, what do you think of this place?" He asked, his eyes going over their surroundings. The man had taken it on himself to get Levi out of his apartment, show him all kinds of places. In the beginning, Levi had not felt up to it. But honestly, it was not that bad. Particularly the recently restored park had caught his interest. It was clean and spacious. The scent of flowers and fresh grass and the opportunity to remain undisturbed while he rested on one of the wooden benches was something he valued strongly. He frequented it often, when his apartment felt too confined and suffocating and when his leg allowed the fifteen-minute walk. The atmosphere there helped him clear his mind, enabled him to breathe properly when the weight on his chest threatened to overwhelm. Sometimes, the kids or Onyankopon would join him. Falco liked to point out all the different plants and trees, babbling on while Levi sat and listened. Gabi would roll her eyes at the boy and give out sandwiches which she liked to make from time to time. During those moments, he felt most at peace.
"It's nice."
Onyankopon gave a tiny nod, another smile playing on his lips and fingers encircling his beer glass before taking a sip. "The chicken soup they serve here is excellent if you ever feel up to it." Placing his glass down, he sat back, eying the man across him before letting his gaze wander.
The silence between them was comfortable. Levi liked that; Onyankopon didn't attempt to fill the emptiness with useless talk. Over the years, they had gotten to know each other well. Over shared pain and loss, they had bonded. They acknowledged each other and enjoyed each other's company.
It was a comfort, having someone like that.
"You heard, right. Gabi having gotten the lead role for that play she's doing with her club."
Levi rubbed at his glass with his thumb. "Yeah."
"She also wants us to come to watch when they perform it."
"Yeah, I heard that too."
The man across him leaned forward. "You'll be going, right?"
"I've never been to a play. Not really." He muttered, studying the polished, dark wood of the table underneath his fingers. Not counting that shitty thing Erwin had dragged him to one night, not long after he had joined, claiming it was for the Corps' benefit, going on about funds and connections and shit. He had hardly paid attention to the whole thing.
"So you want me to suck up to those rich assholes? Pretend being there doesn't make me want to rip my hair out?" Levi stood in the doorway, arms crossed, frowning at his Commender, who smiled softly for a moment. Erwin turned toward the window, hands resting behind his back, watching the approaching sunset and radiating calm and steadiness. "Basically, yes."
The suit he wore that night had felt too stiff on his body. Even the wine tasting like sour sewer water had not helped him relieve his urge to put his fist through the next person who would come up to him. Every single one of them reeking of smothering sweet perfume and bullshit, watching him with a curiosity akin to observing an insect under a magnifying glass.
He had hated every second of that night.
However, pretty shit night or not - Levi recalled the way Erwin had laughed afterward, with the contentment of the prospect of new possible fundings and probably a bit too much alcohol too when they were finally back in their quarters. Each time the memory of that moment surfaced, him sipping oddly content of his tea and Erwin smiling, it constricted something in his chest.
And then there was that other time, long, long ago, a morning when his mother had taken Levi to a small play performed by the neighboring kids. He didn't remember much about the whole thing itself. But he remembered the feeling of excitement and happiness of getting to spend an evening out with his mom. The smile his mother had given him, her tender hand resting on his shoulder while they sat there, watching and listening while munching on some dry crackers. The memory had grown hazy over the years, blurred around the edges. But every time he remembered it, the same warm feelings pooled in his chest.
Levi shifted, shoving his thoughts of long-gone times away.
(Long gone, but not forgotten. Levi would remember. Always.)
"I'll go." He straightened in his seat, taking the last drag from his beer. "She's been chattering my ear off about it for days now. So I suppose I have no other choice."
000
The night air was crisp but not uncomfortable when they stepped outside the bar and into the narrow streets traced with lanterns casting their golden light upon their surroundings. They made their way home at a slow pace, enjoying the atmosphere of the anticipated fall, cautious of Levi's bad leg. Levi glanced up. The first leaves on the trees lining their way were already starting to change color, rich green turning to yellow and red. The stars high above them glistened in the clear night sky.
They arrived at Levi's small apartment first.
"Goodnight," he called before they parted, providing a quick wave as a goodbye.
"Goodnight, Levi." Onyankopon gave him a tiny nod in return. Then the man resumed his way to his own apartment, and Levi watched him go until he rounded the corner. Then he turned around and let himself into the place he had been calling his home for the past three years.
All the mistakes are mine.