Harry was really starting to believe that he was created by whatever higher power out there for the sole reason to go against all logic. He was probably created for the entertainment of said higher power as there is no other explanation for this situation he ended up in.

Ok, so he died. Willingly walked up to Snakey (which in itself had PLEASE AVADA KEDAVRA ME YOU OVERGROWN SNAKE written on his forehead... actually nevermind, that's actually true, thank you lightning bolt scar) and was killed with good 'ole Avada. Simple.

Now, here's when it deviated from Harry's expectations (honestly, he should probably just get rid of them anyways, it's not like they were ever fulfilled). You see, when one dies, they expect to stay dead but that was not the case for Harry Potter, no siree, when Harry Potter, Fate's own TV program, dies, he ends up in a parallel universe.

You read that right.

Harry Potter had snapped his eyes open the next day, thinking that he had dreamt that whole day up only to find out that he was in a parallel universe.

One without magic.

And how did Harry find that out?

Well... it's a bit complicated.

Harry woke up the next day, panting and sweating. He immediately assumed that yesterday was just a nightmare because, well, you couldn't die without staying dead (because surely Harry couldn't survive the Killing Curse twice- while ending up in his bed again at the end of the day. It's not like Voldemort was one for bringing people to their beds and tucking them in, with a kiss on the forehead) and he knew from his horrendous morning breath that he was accidentally smelling right at this moment that he was alive. Well... what could he say? Harry wasn't even surprised. He'd had worse nightmares before (Sirius- well that was more of a vision but you get the point).

Harry kept his illusion of just having a nightmare for a total of 10 seconds before he finally registered the feel of soft, pale skin... that wasn't his own.

Harry gaped at the sight of another human being lying next to him, in his bed, naked. In fact, he stayed in his frozen, gold-fish state for a total of 3 minutes before it finally registered in his mind what said human being was doing in his bed in the first place.

The thought made him want to let out a very unmanly scream.

Now, Harry wasn't a nun... Actually, no Ron would probably call him exactly that. So, nevermind. But anyways, the point is that Harry had not had sex in his sad 17 years of existence. He'd tried a kiss with Cho and Ginny but both relationships never resulted in anything more. Afterall, Harry was too busy fighting for his damn life to even give a thought to sex.

Well, he would definitely have to now.

Harry very much did not want to though, instead wanting to scream and panic because what in the world was happening, he was in a war, how did this even happen but Harry forced himself to calm down and tried to think rationally. Keyword: tried. In fact, he got as far as looking around at his surroundings before panicking all over again.

He didn't know where he was. The room he was in wasn't in Hogwarts or the Burrow or even the Dursleys. So that meant that Harry was at a strangers house in the middle of a war with a girl in his bed. Holy Merlin.

"Are you ok?" A feminine voice to his right said. Harry jumped as the bundle of flesh next to him moved.

"I'm fine", Harry replied, the automatic answer pouring out of his mouth.

"You sure?" The girl asked as she leaned closer to him, leaving her ample cleavage in his eyeline. Averting his eyes from the flesh and being way too panicked to feel even remotely aroused, Harry nodded.

"Last night was great", the girl said with a confident smirk that had Harry immediately feeling even more pathetic than he did before. She glanced down at his naked body, "You were very big".

Harry thought her tone suggested that it was a compliment but he really had no idea. Wow, he really was a nun.

The girl continued talking, "I wouldn't mind doing it again, Har-Bear". She traced his lips with her finger.

Harry was feeling very awkward at this point especially after the girl called him that complete abomination of his name. Giving her a nervous smile, Harry said something that would hopefully get her to leave, "Um, yeah, it was pretty great. But I uh have to go". Well, that was pathetic. But what was Harry supposed to do when this girl was acting as if the war didn't even exist?

At his words, the girl pouted at him before letting out a sigh that sounded rather disappointed.

"Alright, Harry, I better go then. See you at school", the girl said as she slid off the bed. Grabbing her clothes, she hastily put them on and sending Harry one more longing glance, left the room.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Harry flopped back on the bed. He was finally alone.

Oddly, another panic attack didn't happen even as Harry stared at his ceiling, still trying to process what had just happened.

See you at school, the girl's words floated back to him.

Harry immediately jolted up, mind racing. See you at school. But Hogwarts was a boarding school? And Harry had never even seen that girl in his life. She was at least a fifth year, Harry could tell and he knew all the fifth years (mostly because of Ginny and Luna) and yet, Harry didn't know her.

Questions racing through his mind, Harry decided that it would not at all be productive to just sit around and do nothing. Deciding to get up, Harry dressed in record speed, questions still plaguing his mind. But as Harry instinctually went to grab his familiar Holly wand or Draco's Hawthorn wand from under his pillow, Harry's hand closed over the unfamiliar handle of the Elder Wand.

A/N Hi people. Um, I would really appreciate you guys telling me what pairings should be in this story. Obviously not Harry and Ginny or Harry and Cho (I would also prefer not to have Harry and OC) but everything else is fair game.

Thank you!

Ura