hi everyone! welcome to my first Station 19 fanfic, and my first Surrera one at that. I am very happy with how this fic turned out, and it was all thanks to my earlier "Surrera breakdown". honestly, some of my best fics were written because of a breakdown, and this one is no exception.
***While the mention of George Floyd's death due to police brutality in this fic is minor, it is important for readers to be aware of the fact that Black lives are endangered every day, and more than 99% of them aren't caught on camera. If you want to help raise awareness and fight racism, please consider checking out the "blacklivesmatters" carrd online.
Alarms blared and sirens wailed but Lieutenant Andy Herrera heard none of them. Her thoughts were too crowded with her husband's voice. No, not the way he whispered sweet nothings against her skin in the early mornings or the outrageously sexy way his voice deepened when he fought with her over control in the bedroom. Instead, it was the things he had told her over the last few months when the whole world had flipped upside down. The coronavirus started which put enough strain on a marriage alone. Then Andy's husband, Robert, and a member of her Station 19 family, Dean, had wound up in jail mainly due to the colour of their skin. Robert had even had a gun pointed at his head, as he rushed to his wife who had been shoved to the ground. Less than two months later, a man across the country had died claiming he couldn't breathe, filmed for the whole world to witness and make opinions about. None of it made sense to Andy, but then again she didn't see things in the same way she had just half a year ago before she married her husband.
She loved his eyes. They were kind and held so much emotion. She loved the way his hands held her face when his lips brushed hers, no matter how gentle or rough their kiss was. His firefighter-status fitness level was a definite bonus; his hands were way larger than her own but she liked that they fit around hers like a glove. These were just some of the physical features she loved about her husband. Not once did she think about the colour of his skin and how that affected her love for him. It simply didn't, at least not in a negative way. Robert was her husband; the colour of his skin never made any difference to her one way or another. Until it did matter, although not in a bad way. Suddenly, he was a target and Andy was thrust into a world that didn't see a kind and dedicated man when they looked at Robert Sullivan. They saw someone that Andy would never compare to her husband, all for the colour of his skin.
Our marriage is the only good thing in my life, he had told her. The only good thing was her. They both had no one else, no parents or siblings. Sure, they had Station 19 who were basically family and Andy's aunt, uncle and cousin. But in terms of immediate family, it was just them. Robert's comment had left Andy's head turning. Maybe it was the truth in his words, maybe it was the desperation he had said them to her in. Maybe it was because Andy wanted more than just their marriage to be good in his life. And maybe it was a little bit of all three.
Whatever it was, Andy was sure the problems couldn't be fixed with what she had in mind. Although her idea wasn't rational, it was the only thing she could think of. Robert and her had talked about the prospect of it before but it hadn't gotten farther than that. The question remained whether or not it would break them up or make them stronger. At this point, Andy wasn't ready to find out.
Yet somewhere in the universe, a light shone. A spark was lit, a flame caught on and from there, it was an inferno. One thing led to another and soon a giant ball of fire was heading for the only good thing in Robert (and Andy's) life. It was only a matter of time before it crashed into them, leaving nothing but a mist of smoke behind.
»«
"Hey, are you okay?" Robert's concerned murmur washed over Andy, as she slid back into bed next to her husband.
Andy nodded, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin against hers again. The early-morning air was cold and the firefighter wasn't ready to get up yet. "Just had to use the bathroom."
"Mhm." An arm wrapped around her shoulders, making Andy feel safe. Home was wherever Robert's embrace was. "Some long trip to the bathroom you took. Also did I hear you throwing up?"
Andy's heart thumped in her chest. "No, why did you think that?"
"Thought I heard it. If you didn't, it's fine. Just wanted to check," Robert pressed a kiss to his wife's forehead. "We have ten more minutes until the alarm goes," he informed her.
"So kiss me." Andy's reply was quiet but Robert reacted immediately. His lips moved from her forehead to her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose and landed softly on her lips. Andy shifted so that she was more upright, and Robert's hands moved to cup her face. The kiss deepened, and the sheets soon ended up on the unoccupied side of the mattress.
Morning sex was something Andy hadn't really indulged in during her hookups with Jack and Ryan. Sure, it was a better way to wake up than turning over and hitting snooze on the alarm but she was mostly concerned about not getting caught by her father or anyone else at the station.
The alarm blared, interrupting the couple's post-orgasmic bliss. With a sigh, Andy pushed away from Robert and threw on his discarded Station 19 shirt from the night before. "Cereal good for you? I'm not in the mood for French toast which is the-"
"Only thing you know how to make for breakfast, I know." Leaning back against the headboard. Robert put his hands behind his head and smiled at her. "You tell me every morning."
"Hey, I'm just reminding you what you signed up for when you married me." She threw on yesterday's jeans (her own this time), leaving the room.
"I married you for other reasons besides my breakfast options!" Robert shouted after her. He heard her infectious giggle from the stairs, which made his smile stretch even wider. Andy was going to be the death of him, but he would happily go if it meant the last thing he saw was her. The thought was cheesy, Robert knew, yet that was the state the ex-battalion chief was constantly in around his wife. She brought out a completely different side of him that had been hiding for the years between his first wife's death and him coming to Station 19.
His first wife was probably watching from whatever afterlife she was in, happy for him. A day didn't go by that Robert didn't miss Claire, but he knew she would want him to find happiness again. Lucky for him, Andy was the woman he never expected to fall in love with and he did anyways. He was a very fortunate man to get two loves of his life.
After stretching, Robert rolled out of bed and trekked to the bathroom. Water was splashed all over the counter, which made him shake his head. While his wife kept a fairly clean locker at the station, their bathroom had no idea. He grabbed a small towel off the rack and mopped up the small puddles, then turned on the shower. Taking less than two minutes to get clean, Robert had a towel wrapped around his waist and was brushing his teeth while observing himself in the mirror. Clearly all the workouts he had been doing recently to deal with the emotions he had been feeling were helping tone his figure. Raising an eyebrow at himself in the mirror, Robert let out a laugh. He felt a bit stupid, so he quickly turned off the light, rinsed his mouth in the sink and went to change for the day.
A pair of Andy's socks showed up in Robert's drawer, so he opened up her side of the closet to put them away. But before he could move, something solid caught his eye amongst the squishy socks. He was about to investigate, then realized it wasn't his. It was Andy's and if he looked, it would be invading her privacy. So he closed the drawer and went back to putting on his own clothes. Yet Robert's curiosity was piqued and the wheels in his head were already turning with possibilities. A surprise for him, perhaps. Or many it was a female-related object, one that she clearly didn't want him to know about. Or maybe it was a- "Hey Andy, do you own a vibrator?" The question escaped Robert's lips before he could stop himself.
Robert had never seen his wife appear in their bedroom so fast. "Robert, what on Earth have you been doing in here?" She asks, alarm lighting up her face.
Feeling like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Robert admitted to what he had seen in Andy's sock drawer. "Do you own a vibrator?" He repeated, once he had recounted his story to his wife.
Andy let out a huff of laughter, as she turned towards Robert. "Um, I did, before I married you. But it's long gone, so don't worry you don't have any need to get your feather's ruffled." She crossed her arms. "Would you have been mad if I did own one?"
"No way, I would've suggested we use it to spice up our sex lives even more," Robert told her.
Andy smacked her husband's arm, before turning to leave the room again. "You need to get dressed because we gotta go in like fifteen minutes. I got out the cereal."
"Okay, thanks." Robert listened to his wife, and joined her in the kitchen for coffee moments later. He offered her the coffee pot, but she shook her head. It surprised Robert as Andy wasn't one to skip out on caffeine.
Andy could tell her husband was starting to get a bit suspicious, so she made her exit. "Gonna change, then we can go," she said in a rush, then jogged up the stairs to their bedroom again.
Shutting the door behind her, Andy leaned against it, before sliding to the floor. It was getting a little exhausting trying to keep their teeny tiny surprise a secret, especially from her husband. Not that she wanted to be keeping secrets, but this one was too big to tell him yet. Andy wasn't ready for him to know. Unfortunately, keeping it from him went against the main slogan of their marriage: no more secrets. Robert had told her that on many occasions, always with a kiss on her lips following. This was an exception, or at least that's what Andy told herself to make her feel better.
The young woman shed her clothes and put on clean ones, then grabbed her purse and a pair of socks. She turned the hidden object over in her hand once, before slipping it back and smiling to herself. "Baby, you ready to go?"
"Yep, and I have coffee for you to go," Robert handed Andy the travel mug, which she dutifully took. Hopefully she'd be able to pour the contents down the sink when her husband wasn't looking.
They got in the car and drove to work. The streets were pretty empty, as it was barely six-thirty a-m. Andy silently prayed people would stay safe today, making their job easier but also keep people living. It also meant Andy wasn't taking big risks, something she knew she should avoid for the foreseeable future. Robert didn't think anything was different, as he reached across the center console to take Andy's hand. She smiled at him, and he pressed his lips to her fingers. They were stupidly in love without a care in the world.
Once they reached the station, the couple changed into their work attire and headed up to the kitchen for their second breakfast. Andy realized she conveniently forgot the travel mug of coffee in the car, and sighed with relief. Except the second they came around the corner, Ben was offering a second coffee to Robert, and extended it to Andy.
"I'm good, thanks Warren," she said, avoiding Robert's gaze and scurrying to sit with Maya and Vic at the table. "Hey guys."
"Hey Andy," Vic greeted her.
"We were just talking about Pru's recent development in mobility," Maya explained.
Babies, Andy thought, I can talk about that. "Is she still doing the butt-scootch thing?"
Vic nodded. "Yep. Dean's been trying to get her to take a few steps because she's more than ready. But she's a stubborn girl."
It would be awhile longer, but teaching a child to walk was something that thrilled Andy. "I can't wait for that," Andy accidentally burst out, before catching herself. "I mean, I can't wait for Pru to start walking."
"Same." Learning back, Vic looked like a proud mother, despite the fact that Pru wasn't her kid.
Maya waited a second longer, before pushing her chair back as the rest of the A-crew took a seat. "Okay, Montgomery and Herrera, you two are on aid car today. The rest of you guys, make sure the truck's in tip-top shape."
After a chorus of 'yes-es', the team spread out. Andy and Travis were called to a house regarding someone who choked on a piece of sausage (the Heimlich was performed swiftly and effectively), while the rest of the firefighters were sentenced to putting out a warehouse fire. A machine had caught a spark, which spread to all the wood materials lighting on fire. Not a great combination, yet Station 19 was prepared and managed to evacuate everyone in record time. Maya commanded the radio outside, as Vic, Robert, Jack and Dean did a final sweep. The aid care, with Andy and Travis inside, pulled up just as Maya was about to call her firefighters back. No one was hurt, but it was good to have the care on standby just in case.
The radio crackled, and Vic's voice rang out. "There's one more person in here! They're trapped under a wooden shelf." Static, then there was a muffled noise, before a shout could be heard. "Dammit!"
Instantly Maya had the radio switched on. "What happened?"
"The fire just lit up the entire back wall," Vic reported. Andy's heart beat loudly in her chest, as she feared for her fellow firefighters' lives, and most of all her husband's.
"Get the person stable, and then get out," Maya ordered. "Gibson, Miller, what's the status on the exit?"
"Clear. The direct path has nothing structural that could fall. But the smoke is thick. We need to start putting out the fire in the main area or else it has the potential to block off where we need to go," Jack reported.
"Okay, good. Get out and you can help the other stations spray from the windows." The warehouse luckily had a bunch of windows, which made access to the fire easier. Maya had had the windows smashed in earlier.
"Copy that." Jack's radio went muffled for a moment, then two doors opened at the side of the building. "Hey Herrera, Montgomery, nice of you to join us," Jack said with a laugh. Travis nodded hello while Andy didn't even look in Jack's direction. She was too focused on whatever fate her husband had. Recently her emotions and hormones had been all over the place, leaving her wanting to cry one moment and incredibly turned on the next. Right now though, Andy was scared for her husband's life.
"We got them!" This time it was Robert's voice on the radio. "Heading for the exit."
The seconds ticked away as everyone who wasn't spraying water at the fire, had their eyes on the double doors where they expected Vic and Robert to emerge from. Maya was worried, and turned on the radio again. "Sullivan and Hughes, where are you guys?"
The only answer was static. Andy thought she head a shout but it was too muffled to tell. Then one door pushed open, and she rushed towards it. Vic called out, "Help me grab the guy!"
Andy held open the door as Vic stumbled through it towing a man behind her. She coughed loudly, as the smoke was incredibly thick. Robert was nowhere to be found.
While Travis did his job and checked over the man, Andy turned to Vic. "Where's Sullivan?" She asked, remembering to use her husband's proper title since they were at work.
Vic didn't answer her. Instead she spun around and fixed her helmet back on her head. "I'm going back in there," she said.
"No you aren't." Maya stopped her.
There was panic in Vic's eyes. "Sullivan is still in there. A huge beam came down just as I was rounding the corner to the exit. Sullivan jumped back just in time, but we were separated. The smoke is so bad, and I had the guy with me. I could see the exit, so I thought I could just drop him off and the go back for Sullivan."
"You left him?" Andy whirled on Vic.
"No, I couldn't get to him. I had a civilian and I told him I'd go back. I have to go back," Vic repeated to Maya.
"No. No one is going back in there." Maya stated firmly. She picked up her radio and said, "Sullivan, do you copy?"
There was nothing, except for Vic's voice apologizing. "I'm so sorry, I just couldn't reach him and I had the civilian and-"
"Nothing. You made the call and it was what was necessary." Maya attempted to contact Robert via the radio again, with no luck.
Suddenly, there was a huge crash and a section of the warehouse roof began to cave in. Andy watched in horror as smoke billowed out into the sky and there continued to be no response from the radio. "ROBERT!" A scream left Andy's throat as she lunged herself towards the doors her husband was still trapped behind. Much to her dismay, both Maya and Vic lunged after her, stopping her from charging in after him. She struggled against the women but soon gave up. "Somebody do something!"
Maya shook her head sadly. "It's up to him to get out, I can't risk another firefighter. Andy, he'll be okay."
"You don't know that!" Andy was practically in hysterics, which wasn't like her at all. She was normally pretty put together, even when his life had been in danger before.
Jack came over and looked Andy right in the eyes. "I know he'll make it out to you. He's been a firefighter for a long time, and will be fine. Trust him."
"Okay." Andy's voice was small as she nodded. Jack gave her shoulder a reassuring pat, then stood off to the side. He was worried about his friend because she was rarely this emotional while on a call. Sure, she had broken down from time to time, but it was rare for to lose it at the scene. Maybe she and her husband-it was still weird to say that after almost a whole year-had had a fight beforehand, and she didn't get the chance to work things out.
Water continued to rain down on the building but the radio remained silent. Maya tried over and over to reach Robert with no response. The panic was just starting to settle in, when someone shouted that they saw movement through one of the broken windows.
Inside the building the air was thickening with smoke and Robert was losing air fast. But he had someone to fight for, well two someones actually. He was not about to leave his wife the way his first wife had left him. Claire's death had almost killed him, and he would do whatever he could to save Andy from losing someone else. Up ahead, Robert saw the exit that separated him from the love of his life. With a last surge of strength, Robert burst open the doors and stumbled a short distance before he fell to the concrete. Cold, fresh air filled his lungs as he took in gasping breaths. He looked up and saw that the sky above him wasn't smoke but clear and blue with the sun shining too. I'm safe, he thought. I'm safe and I'm alive.
Seconds later, two figures reached him. One was Travis, thrusting an oxygen mask into his hands for him to put on, and the other was his wife. Her arms engulfed him in a hug, and she practically lay on top of him on the ground. At first, Robert thought she was just happy to see him alive and well, then he felt her shaking in his lap. "I'm safe, it's okay," he told her, pulling back slightly so he could wipe the tears from her eyes.
"I thought I lost you," Andy told him, as she pressed the oxygen mask to his face. Travis stepped back and gave them a few feet of space, as the rest of the group worked to spray the flames.
"You'll never lose me, I'm too stubborn to die," Robert reassured her.
Andy nodded, but she wasn't convinced, She was just thankful he had made it back to her, and didn't leave her all alone to raise their child. "I love you, baby," she managed to get out.
"I love you." His words echoed back and he hugged her tightly again. Moments later, Maya appeared at his side, and Andy moved to get up off of the ground. "Hey Captain Bishop, things were getting a bit toasty, huh?"
"Just a bit," Maya rolled her eyes. "You okay Sullivan?"
"Fine." The man in question had regained enough oxygen in his lungs and strength in his body, to rise to a standing position.
"You should head over to the aid car and rest; we can debrief later." Maya glanced around, then leaned over to her fellow firefighter. "Hey, is Andy alright?"
Robert raised an eyebrow. "She's fine, why?"
Maya sighed. "She acted overly emotional when you were struggling to get out of the building. I totally understand why, but it's unlike her. I just wanted to make sure things were okay."
"Oh, I understand." Pausing, Robert hesitated how to approach the subject of why when he knew Andy didn't even know he knew about her secret. "I'm sure she was just worried."
"Right," Maya said. She didn't look completely convinced, but luckily thought Robert didn't get questioned any longer. He made his way over to Travis at the aid car and got his head looked at. It was just a bruise, which would heal in no time.
The fire eventually died down and lost the war against the firefighters and water. Station 19 began to pack up, and Andy came over to give her husband a check up of her own, before getting back into the aid car. Vic apologized profusely to Robert for leaving him, and he told her that he would've done the same thing, had he been in her position. As Andy and Travis pulled away, Robert was leaning over to give Vic a reassuring hug; all was okay.
Once they got back, chores needed to be done, then people started heading to the showers or to crash in a bunk room. Andy slipped away and went back to the barn, swinging herself up to sit on the back of the firetruck amongst the many hoses. It had been a long day, even though it was barely eight o'clock. All she wanted to do was go to sleep, with maybe a little loving from her husband first.
Speaking of Robert, his voice carried through the barn as he spotted her. "Hey, can I join you?" He asked.
"Yeah," Andy nodded, moving so he could come up too. She let out a loud sigh, and ran a hand through her messy curls.
Robert watched her, concern in his gaze. "Everything okay?"
"Today was a close call," Andy began, looking at her hands instead of her husband. "I'm glad you're safe."
Robert wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. "Me too." There was a moment of silence, until Robert decided it was time to rip off the bandaid. But first, he needed to tell her something. "I love you, you know that?"
Pulling away, Andy snuck a glance at Robert. "Of course, silly. I love you too."
"Good." Robert smiled slightly, then bumped her shoulder with hers. "Then I just wanted to tell you that I know."
Andy whipped her head towards her husband. "You know what."
"I know. Don't try to hide it any longer."
"What do you know."
"I know."
"I know you know, but what do you know?" Andy was very stubborn, and was not about to show her cards first.
Robert, who gave into arguments like this with her more often than she did, sighed and told her: "I know about the baby. That you're pregnant."
"Dammit." She looked back down at her hands. "I was trying to keep it a secret for a little while longer. How did you find out? You didn't look in my sock drawer, did you?"
"No, I wouldn't invade your privacy like that," Robert reassured her.
"Then what was it?"
"Well you've been acting funny the past couple days. Avoiding coffee, being way more emotional than normal-which there's nothing wrong with but it isn't like you normally-and disappearing to throw up at the same time for the past five days. You deny it but I know my wife."
Shaking her head, Andy let out a sigh. "I can't keep anything a secret from you."
"So are you pregnant?" Robert wanted his wife to say it, to confirm his theory.
"Yes, I'm pregnant." Andy nodded.
Robert didn't hesitate. He leaned over and pulled his wife into the biggest hug, then began to press sloppy kisses all over her face. She laughed, swatting at him lightly. "I love you so much," Robert gushed. "And I love you too, baby," he said, looking down at Andy's non-showing belly.
Andy took his hand and placed it where their baby was growing inside of her right now. "You're not gonna want to miss this, ever," she said.
"Never," he agreed.
They were quiet for a moment, just breathing together. Then Andy spoke: "Before you tell me to lighten my duties, I planned on talking to Maya later this week. We have a girl's night in the works, and I need to tell her before she suggests we go to a bar for shots."
"Didn't even cross my mind yet, but I'm glad you knew what I was going to ask in the future," Robert said with a laugh. He pressed another kiss to Andy's lips, then looked all around him.
"What?" Andy asked, as she watched her husband.
"I was just thinking, this is where it all started. Right here in the barn, when I was introduced as the new captain of Station 19. Who knew that we'd be here now, married with a baby on the way?" He lay back, pulling Andy down with him, and they tangled themselves amongst the folded hoses, snuggled together like they had lay that morning before getting up.
Andy confessed, "Not me. I hated you for a good while, before I realized I was using hate to cover up what I felt for you."
Robert chimed in, "And I told myself I wasn't going to fall in love with a firefighter half my rank. Look where that got me."
"You love me."
"I do."
"And we're going to be good parents, right?"
"The absolute best. First thing we're going to do is teach them Spanish. After English of course."
"Okay. Only if I get to teach them how to make French toast because-"
"It's the only thing you know how to make for breakfast."
let me know how you liked it in the comments, if you have time! also if you have any other Station 19 fics you want written, I finished this show in less than a week and it's in my top 3 TV shows currently :)
find me on tumblr: thedefinitionofendgame
thanks for reading!
