A/N: What does an assassin do when she quits? After years of dealing out death, what next? This fic does not follow canon. Here, the Intersect does not exist, so Chuck Bartowski never received it. Sarah Walker worked for the CIA for thirteen years, but is now on her own, starting a new life.
This won't be action driven. It is an exploration of how Sarah copes with life after the CIA and if a successful Chuck can help.
Thanks to jwatkins for pre-reading an early version of the whole fic and for his feedback & suggestions.
And then there's LetsGoRed who agreed to beta again, tirelessly trawling through my poor English to help make it readable. Can't thank you enough, my friend.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, or make money from it, just really loved the show.
Life After Death
Chapter 1 – Newly retired
Flight from Washington DC to Los Angeles
As the plane commenced its approach to the airport, she sat thinking about what she'd done. After thirteen years, she'd finally left the CIA. Now she had to start a new life, in the real world.
She'd killed more people than she can bear to think, for her country, of course, but she had become more and more disillusioned with the "greater good" and was now on her own, with no Company back up.
She'd decided to move to California to be closer to her mom and her mother's adopted daughter, but she didn't want to live with them and hoped to find work here in Los Angeles. She'd be able to visit them from there, but would be able to find herself better.
Ha. Find herself! Here she was, Sarah Walker free of the CIA, but no idea who she really was anymore! She didn't want to think about what she'd been, a cold-blooded assassin, but that was all she'd been for the last thirteen years! So, what was she now? What could she be?
She knew this was going to be hard, joining civilian life. A dark, shadowy character, joining the human race, even!
At least, she had money saved over the thirteen years, so she didn't need to work for a while. She'd just find somewhere to stay, chill out for a while and consider her options.
Barsoft Gaming office, Los Angeles
Staring at the screen full of orders for games from the various retailers, he just felt tired of it all. He knew he should feel grateful at his success, but the fun had gone out of it. He was so, so tired. Tired of the travel. Tired of the presentations of new games. Tired of the all-night sessions developing the software and then preparing those sales pitches in the early days and now the administration and financial management associated with success. Tired of it all.
After leaving Stanford, he'd just worked non-stop. He'd had no time for anything but work and now, aged thirty, he needed a change.
Maybe he should start a new IT line with a new company, but he didn't need to work with so much money already. Maybe he should take Devon up on improving his health and start living. He'd not even dated since that failed relationship at Stanford, but justified that by thinking he'd just had no time.
What did he have to show for that work? Sure, he now had a house on the beach and a fancy car, but was he happy? Was the life of a 30-year-old bachelor happy? One that never went out, never met with friends except online?
And girls - was there someone out there for him to meet who would love him? He knew he'd never meet anyone if he didn't put in the effort. Sure, he could go on online dating sites, but what did he really have to offer to someone who was worth meeting? He knew he'd get interest from girls just after his money, but that wouldn't be real.
The last relationship, which he thought was real, had ended abruptly back at Stanford. It had taken a lot of courage to ask Jill out, but they had such a connection, he was sure she'd say yes to going out with him and she did. He thought they had been in love, but then she suddenly lost interest in him for the person he had thought was his best friend. When she'd left him, he'd been shattered. He'd refocused on his studies and the start of this game development. Thank God he'd been good at both. He'd not tried again at finding someone. He'd probably left it too long now. Who'd want a 30-year-old lanky nerd?
This morose thinking wasn't good. He shook himself and got up and walked over to his phone to contact Devon.
Park near Echo Park estate
It had been six days since he'd asked for Devon's help when he and Ellie had come to visit for the week. The first three or four days had been hell on earth! He'd hurt in more places than he could have imagined! And Devon had been taking it easy apparently, not pushing him!
It was starting to hurt less now and he was almost, almost, starting to enjoy these runs. He was feeling better in himself, so it was obviously working. Those protein drinks, however, were no better than they had been when Chuck had lived with his sister and her boyfriend, back before they got married. Those he wouldn't continue!
Tomorrow, they would be heading back to Chicago, so this was the last run he'd do with Devon. They'd decided to go back to Echo Park, where they'd lived together. The park itself wasn't far away and made a pleasant change of scenery.
Chuck could now look ahead while running, rather than just down at his feet willing them to keep moving. He loved it here. It brought back such great memories. He'd definitely come here for more runs when he was on his own again.
As they ran around some hedgerow, Chuck spotted a runner coming towards them. A woman with such long legs. She must eat up the miles with legs like those, he thought. As she got closer, he saw her face and her eyes. His jaw dropped. How could anyone be that beautiful? And those deep blue eyes! He could look at those forever. Somehow he kept his legs moving and didn't trip up.
Just before they passed each other, she looked at him and gave him a small smile. That caused him to lose his grip on the water bottle he'd been carrying and he had to look away from her to try to catch it.
By the time he had it under control again, she was long gone. Who was that angel?
He didn't really notice the rest of the run passing. He couldn't stop thinking about her.
He'd definitely come here at this time again! He smiled to himself. She's now got a stalker, he mentally joked. A running stalker!
She had gotten into the habit of a leisurely start to her day. Rising and showering by nine, then strolling to the local bakery and buying a coffee and two chocolate croissants which she'd take back to her room and eat on the balcony. Then, mid-morning, she'd put on her shorts and running shoes and head out to the local park for a run.
She'd never had a routine before. Every day was different on missions. This felt good. She knew she needed to plan her life, but not yet. She just wanted to relax for a while.
The park wasn't busy, which was good. She didn't like seeing others. Or more importantly, being seen by others, by men. She hated the ogling looks. She knew she was attractive, but those looks reminded her of her old life. She knew she could have worn jogging pants, but this was her life now and she wanted to wear what she wanted. Running in shorts was so much more freeing. The sun on her legs made her smile.
She was now running on a long stretch and could just open up. Then around a hedgerow at the end, two joggers appeared, two men. Oh no!
One of them looked like a surfer dude. Very tall, tanned and muscled. The other was equally tall, but much less developed and very pale. Probably an IT guy, she thought. Then she admonished herself. Stop being so judgmental and applying stereotypes!
As they got closer, the surfer never even looked her way, but the other guy had obviously seen her.
She tensed slightly, waiting for the full body scan that would piss her off and spoil her morning, but he surprised her. He'd obviously spotted her legs, which wasn't surprising in itself, but he'd then looked away from them and looked at her face and into her eyes. That was new, which brought a smile to her face. Then his mouth dropped open and a glazed look appeared in his lovely chocolate brown eyes. He lost his grip on his water bottle and looked away and fumbled trying to catch it. That made her snigger. She passed them watching him as she did so.
Shortly after, she turned the bend they had appeared from and she lost sight of them. As she continued on her run, she thought about the encounter. It was refreshing and he was actually very attractive. She hoped she'd see him again sometime. She smiled all the way back to the hotel.
Same park, one week later
For the last seven days, he'd driven to Echo Park and run the same route through the park. He was on his own now that the Woodcombs had returned to Chicago, but that only meant he had no one to run with.
He passed the same woman each day, but he never got the courage to talk to her and she didn't seem to want to talk either. In the past, he would have thought that was because a beautiful woman wouldn't be interested in him, but now he just enjoyed the smiles she gave him. It was stupid but he felt there was a connection. Why he thought that from just seeing her for twenty seconds a day, was beyond him. He was just looking forward to those twenty seconds each morning and had even started dreaming about her. He knew this wasn't healthy, but it didn't hurt anyone, did it?
Today, as he ran towards her, he thought he'd try to talk to her. Then she did something different, she grinned at him. What a dazzling smile! It took his breath away and he stumbled. By the time he righted himself, he knew he'd missed his chance, but looked back. She had stopped a little further on, but when he straightened, she nodded to him and turned and continued her run.
She'd stopped to make sure he was alright! He grinned. His clumsiness had nearly brought her to him! He ran on with a smile that no one would be able to remove.
Tomorrow he would make the effort to talk to her. He at least needed to know the name of his dream girl.
Could he be ready to ask her on a date? It had been a long, long time, but he couldn't help feeling she was worth taking the chance.
She had been wondering about varying her morning routine, but had decided not to. She enjoyed seeing that guy each morning. It wasn't much, probably no more than twenty seconds a day, but it was human interaction with someone. Someone not connected to her old spy life. He looked at her, like he was interested in her. Not just in her body. In fact, he now only even looked into her eyes with those brown eyes that she found quite intoxicating. It was almost as if they could communicate just with their eyes. Stupid thought. She didn't even know what his eyes were telling her. She grinned. Another language to learn?
She was still smiling as they approached each other. She looked up at him and grinned with that thought coming back to her.
He had been smiling, as normal, but when she grinned, he gasped and started to stumble.
She slowed down and stopped, looking back at him, worried that he was going to fall. Had he done so, she would have rushed back to help him up. Then he caught himself and stood. He turned to look at her, so she nodded at him, turned and continued her run.
She thought about what had happened. She had been all ready to rush to him to help him up. Why? He would have been alright. It would have only cost him a few scratches, maybe a grazed knee. Nothing that would need help. But it would have been her fault, so she would have needed to help. Needed?
She wanted to get to know this guy. Could the taciturn Sarah Walker start a conversation with someone who wasn't a mark or an agent? Could she ask him out? She'd never done that before. It was new territory for her, but maybe she was ready for that new challenge.
She ran on thinking about that all the way to the hotel.
Sarah's Mom's house, next day
Sarah hadn't gone on a run today having had a call from her mom, Emma, early in the morning about seeing someone seemingly snooping around her house. Sarah had immediately grabbed her gun and knives and headed there as fast as she could.
She'd only told her mom a couple of days earlier that she was in LA, having left the CIA. It had been a tearful conversation on the phone, particularly for her mom.
When she arrived, her mom was very apologetic. Molly had invited a friend around and it was that friend's mom that wasn't sure if she had the right house.
Relieved, Sarah sank into the sofa and breathed out. Emma brought her an iced tea and sat opposite her. "I'm sorry, honey. Molly doesn't have friends around, but as it's Sunday, she didn't think to tell me. I feel awful you had to come all this way."
Shaking her head, Sarah instantly addressed that. "Don't be silly, Mom. These things happen. Anyway, this gave me the excuse to be here."
Emma's brow rose, "You need an excuse?"
Sarah rolled her eyes. She'd blundered again. "This is what I mean about not being able to talk!"
Emma smiled indulgently and patted her daughter's knee. "I'm only teasing. You'll be fine." Emma gazed at her daughter, thinking how glad she was that she was out of the spy life. "How are you getting on in Los Angeles? Made any friends?"
Sarah huffed. "Well, I've met up with an old friend, Zondra."
Emma frowned. "Isn't she that ex-spy?"
Knowing she'd been caught, she reluctantly replied, "Yes."
Emma glared at her. "Well, she doesn't count then. What about non-spies?"
Sarah sighed. "There is a guy I see in the park each morning. Well, apart from this morning."
Smiling, Emma prompted her. "Tell me more. What's his name?"
Sarah looked down at the iced tea she was holding. "I don't know."
Her mom knew how hard Sarah found talking, so instantly knew the answer to the next question, but asked it anyway. "Have you talked to him?"
Sarah huffed again. "No." She looked up at her mom. "Okay. We run past each other every morning. We smile at each other. I think he likes me, but we haven't spoken."
Emma rolled her eyes this time. "So, he's as bad as you! You sound perfect for each other!"
Sarah smiled, "Could be."
Emma stared at her daughter. "Say hello. Tell him your name. Who knows, he might talk back!"
Sarah chuckled. "Okay, Mom."
Sarah's hotel room, next day
Sarah had got back from her mom's late last night and had overslept. She never did that when she'd been an agent!
Part of her felt happy that she could now do that. Sleeping was getting easier. She still had nightmares, but at least she seemed to be able to stay asleep after five in the morning. It was now 9:30.
Part of her was upset about the time. This meant she wouldn't be ready in time to see that lovely guy in the park. That would be two days in a row. Would he give up on her? Was she fooling herself thinking he was even interested?
A grunt and a heave and she was out of bed, heading to the shower. She'd just go straight to the gym. She felt like sparing with Z to release her frustration.
Burbank gym, same day
He'd not seen the girl yesterday nor today, so he decided he'd stop this stalking and just focus on getting fitter. Devon had recommended this gym to try some weights to build muscles in his weak arms.
He'd enrolled and the beautiful brunette owner, Zondra Rizzo, had taken him over to the exercise machine and shown him how to use it. "Don't hurt yourself," she said and walked off leaving him to get on with it on his own.
He'd just got started, when the beautiful woman from the park walked in. She walked up to the gym owner and they hugged. God, I'd love a hug like that, he thought.
She then walked over and set herself up next to Chuck, while still chatting with Zondra, "I just want to do some weights first, then we can spar like you suggested the other day."
Chuck was entranced. A voice of an angel too!
"I'll floor you in no time," Zondra replied and walked off.
Sarah turned around and noticed someone on the bench next to hers. She looked at his face. It was the guy from the park! She gave him a big smile and was about to say hi, when he lost his rhythm and struggled to right himself, eventually putting the weights down.
He just stared at her face. She grinned. "Do you always lose control around me?"
Without thinking he replied, "I'm just stunned by your beautiful smile! You're beautiful eyes! Too much of a distraction for anything to work properly." He then grabs his water and takes a swig.
She'd heard comments about her looks many times before, but always from men who looked at her in a way that made her skin crawl. This man didn't do that. It just came out completely honestly. And the comment about himself, so self-deprecating and then he'd turned away. She couldn't help laughing and replying about her.
Chuck heard her laugh, a beautiful sound he wanted to hear more of. Then she said, "Well, you won't notice them when I lie down next to you." He choked on his water. Realizing how that sounded, she laughed again, but offered to take him for a coffee afterward as an apology. He just nodded his thanks and they got started on the weights.
Half an hour later, they stopped. Sarah remembered she was supposed to be sparing with Zondra, so told him to wait a second and rushed over to her friend. Chuck could tell they were talking about him when Zondra looked his way, nodded and smiled.
Sarah went back and helped him up. While holding his hand, it felt like electricity shooting up her arm. Looking in his eyes, she guessed the same happened to him. Pushing that thought aside, she said, "I'm Sarah, by the way … Sarah Walker."
He smiled at her and joked, "Not Beautiful Jogger?"
She quirked her lips, "No. And I haven't done that for a couple of day, anyway."
"I know. I've missed you," he replied honestly.
"Oh. Stalking me?" she questioned.
"Guilty, but who can blame me?" He grinned.
She gave him a pointed look. "Well, I can. Maybe I should report you as an anonymous stalker!"
He realized he'd not told her his name. "Chuck … Chuck Bartowski."
"Well, Chuck Bartowski, not so anonymous stalker, want to follow me for that coffee?" She smiled.
He laughed. "That would really make me a creepy stalker." She looked confused, so he continued, "Following you."
She smiled, "Oh, yeah. Well, after I've showered, you can walk next to me and you get let off the stalker report."
They headed to their locker rooms, both thinking of the other one in the shower.
Coffee shop next to Burbank gym
Sarah and Chuck ordered coffees and sat at one of the tables while waiting for them to be ready.
The ever-loquacious Chuck started babbling almost immediately. "It's so good to be able to talk to you. I've been building up the courage to say hello all week and now I not only have done that, but I also now know your name and you're still talking to me!"
Sarah burst out laughing. "I thought I was bad, not being able to talk to you. But why do you act surprised that I'm still talking to you?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Just look at you. You're gorgeous. Way out of my league. I wouldn't expect someone like you to even notice me, let alone talk to me."
Her cheeks reddened. "That's very sweet of you to say that, but it's not true about me. I've wanted to talk to you all week, but I'm not good with words, or with talking." She looked him in the eye. Don't shy away, just make him know you want to be here.
Chuck smiled at her. "I'm glad. So, two happy people, talking."
She smiled back. They just looked into each other's eyes, both thinking, I could get used to this!
Chuck was the one to break the silence, "Well, we're not talking with our mouths!"
Sarah raised her eyebrows and grabbed his arm. "Do you feel like we can talk to each other with our eyes?"
Chuck looked a bit taken aback and looked down at her hand on the sleeve of his jacket. "I feel your eyes are trying to tell me something, but I don't know what."
"God, me too! I thought I was going mad!" she exclaimed.
"Well, if you are, you're taking me with you." He smiled. God, he has a wonderful smile.
That made her smile too. God, she has a wonderful smile.
Not wanting the conversation to end, Chuck asked, "Just to further my career as Sarah-stalker, where do you live?"
She laughed at that, making him warm all over. "Well, I've only just moved to LA, so I'm currently staying at Maison23 until I get off my lazy ass and search for somewhere to live."
"What sort of place are you looking for?"
"A small apartment would be nice, but not sure where. I don't have a job yet, so don't know where I'll be working when I do." She frowned. "So, I need to find a job too."
"So, no job either? You like making it easy for yourself, don't you!" he commented, dryly.
"I have some money saved from my previous job in DC, so no great rush for the job, but I guess it would make deciding where to live easier." Not wanting to discuss her previous 'job', she turned the conversation to Chuck. "What about you? Where do you live and work?"
There was a hint of a smile on his face as he said, "Well, I'm between jobs, too, but I live in Malibu."
That surprised her. "Malibu? And you come here every day to run?"
He looked sheepish. "Well, yes, to run, but more importantly to see you."
She was definitely taken aback by that statement, but didn't want the free flow of conversation to stop, so replied, "Does that make you a long-distance stalker?"
He couldn't stop himself from bursting out laughing at that. "Oh, you're funny!"
"No, I'm not. I have been told, many times, that I have no sense of humor," she confessed.
Chuck shook his head, while saying, "Well, they were wrong. You have a natural talent."
"Maybe you bring out the best in me," she deadpanned.
He sobered up and looked straight back at her, "Maybe I do."
After a few seconds, he asked, "So, what sort of work are you looking for, Sarah?"
Each time he said her name, it made her feel warm inside. Then, realizing she hadn't responded, she said, "I don't really know. I've not started thinking about that yet. How about you, mister between-jobs?"
"Well, I only know about software development, so that would normally limit my choices. I'm fed up with what I've been doing and want a change, just not sure what to do yet," he admitted.
"Sounds like we're as bad as each other!"
"Maybe," he replied, "or maybe as flexible as each other." He just gazed into those beautiful blue eyes.
He finally looked down at their emptied coffee mugs. "Looks like we're finished here." She nodded, but looked kind of sad to him, so he continued, "I've really enjoyed this time with you. Can I be bold and ask you to dinner tonight?"
"Bold?" She smiled at him. "Are you asking me on a date?"
He steeled himself, readying himself for rejection. "Yes. Would you go on a date with me?"
She reached out and grasped his hand, feeling that electricity as she did so. "Yes, Chuck. I'd like that very much."
He beamed at her. She'll go on a date with me!
She grinned back, thinking, I've got a date! With a real person!
A/N: First of all, sorry for the title that my twisted brain just couldn't resist!
This is going to have 14 chapters and an epilogue, so a wee bit longer that my others! Not sure how frequently I'll publish updates, but at least weekly.
I hope you like it. I'd really appreciate a review or PM to let me know what you think. I always reply.
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