Inuyasha held the woman he loved in his arms, helpless to stop the flow of blood from the wound through her chest. It soaked through the white of her priestess attire and pooled on the ground below her body.
"I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I should have realized…" Her voice, usually so soft and kind, was strained and weak.
Inuyasha clutched the woman tighter to his chest, fighting back tears, heedless of the blood soaking his clothes. "Stop! It's not your fault. We both-"
Her breath puffed weakly against his neck, the smell of death overpowering despite the rain. Her heart slowed with every beat and he knew she didn't have much longer. His soaked hair fell around them in a tangled curtain of white, streaked with dirt and blood.
"We will find each other again. My soul will follow the red string of fate for however long it takes." Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard every word. "Don't-" She coughed and gasped. "Don't let him…"
"Kikyo," he pleaded. With whom, he didn't know. No kami would help a tainted half-creature like him. "Please, I can't-" He choked back a sob and squeezed his eyes closed to stop the tears.
"I love you," she whispered. Her hands fell away, her last breath leaving her in a shaky exhale. Inuyasha felt her body go slack and finally let the pain take him, his body shaking with his sobs.
He sat up straight in bed, sweating and breathing heavily. His legs tangled in his sheets and he struggled to free himself in a rush to get to the bathroom. Stumbling over a rogue pair of pants lying on the floor, he made it just in time to empty his stomach into the toilet instead of onto the floor.
"Fuck," Inuyasha gasped, fighting down another heave. "Fuck." The smell of his vomit hit him, making him dizzy. He leaned on the side of the tub and reached a trembling hand out to flush away the evidence of his distress. His stomach clenched and he squeezed his eyes shut before taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to prevent a second round.
He never reacted well to the first dream. Maybe it was the mistaken betrayal, maybe it was because she was the first, or maybe it was just because his body and mind knew what was coming. He knew what it meant when he dreamed of Kikyo, the woman whose soul cried out for his over and over again. Somewhere, his soulmate was alive and waiting for him to find her. And, like all the other times, ready to die shortly after. They were forever connected by the red string of fate, an inescapable noose.
He picked himself up off the floor and studied his face in the bathroom mirror. His ears, two furry triangles on top of his head denoting his half-demon status, were drooping. His gold eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by dark circles that stood out against his pale skin, shiny with sweat. His long silver hair was a wild mess, clumps and strands sticking to his face and bare shoulders. Running a hand over his face, he checked the clock hanging on the wall: 4 am.
"I can't fucking do this again," he said to his reflection. It would be useless to try to go back to sleep. Scowling, he turned on the sink and splashed handfuls of cold water on his clammy skin. He decided a run would be his best bet to clear his mind so he trudged back to his bedroom to get dressed.
Thirty minutes later he was sprinting around the local park's nearly-deserted running trail, long silver hair in a ponytail flying behind him, breath puffing to mist in front of him. Wearing running shorts and a t-shirt, the brisk morning air bit at his skin but he relished in the discomfort, letting it distract his thoughts. His shoes pounded the pavement, beating out a steady rhythm as he tried to outrun his dream and his past.
Despite his efforts, his mind betrayed him and his thoughts went to the very topic he was trying to banish. His steps faltered slightly as thoughts of Kikyo-her smile, her sad eyes, her gentle touch, and her selfless nature-hounded him. Her death was always the one he dreamed of first and it always had the worst side effects when he was yanked back to consciousness. Other dreams would follow of other losses that would leave him feeling tired and empty for days after. It would only stop when he found his soulmate and the cycle of death repeated itself.
Hundreds of years and countless nights spent cursing whatever gods damned his fate had made him so, so tired. Maybe he-
A familiar scent assaulted his nose and he automatically picked up his pace. As much as he needed the distraction, he wasn't in the fucking mood right now. He couldn't outrun the wolf but he could at least delay dealing with him by a few seconds. Too soon for his liking, a man with dark hair and blue eyes was running next to him.
"Yo, mutt," Koga called and Inuyasha immediately noticed his sour tone. "You're out early."
"Couldn't sleep," he replied, hoping his tone conveyed his desire to be left the fuck alone. He was way too frustrated for any kind of conversation, let alone one with the wolf demon.
Koga shot him a brief look and nodded once. "Bar, tonight, after work," he said. "Sounds like we both need a drink...or ten."
"Keh, whatever." The asshole was right but he didn't need to know that.
"See ya, mutt." Koga gave a quick wave and doubled his pace, leaving Inuyasha in the dust.
It shouldn't be possible to get a demon this drunk.
"What do you mean you're not going to look for her?" Koga asked, leaning over the bar and eyeing the woman serving drinks, again. His speech wasn't slurred but he had no volume control and he was swaying dangerously on the flimsy barstool.
"Will you keep your eyes in your fucking skull for five minutes?" Inuyasha asked, snapping his fingers in Koga's face to draw his attention. "Aren't you seeing someone?"
Koga scowled and turned back to his friend, swatting at the offending hand. "She kicked me to the curb. Said I wasn't spending enough time with her or some shit. Whatever, you didn't answer my question."
The bartender came over to check on them and gave Koga the stink-eye when he tried to wiggle his eyebrows at her. When she walked away, Inuyasha said, "No wonder you dragged me out tonight. And seriously, the bartender isn't interested. She can probably spot an asshole a mile away and you're a giant flashing sign that just screams 'asshole.'"
Koga scowled. "Fuck off and answer my question. You've done this, what, like five times now?"
He sighed, trying not to think about the specifics and failing. "Seven and I can't fucking do it again. I'd rather be alone than-"
"Oh, cry me a fuckin' river," Koga growled and downed the rest of his drink in a single gulp. He slammed his glass back on the bar, drawing a few angry looks from other patrons and the bartender. "What if this time is different?" He swayed dangerously on his stool and Inuyasha tensed, waiting to see if he'd have to play catch.
"You're really fucking drunk," Inuyasha pointed out. "Which is amazing for a full demon. And what if it isn't? Why the fuck would it be any different this time around?" He put a hand up for the bartender to settle their tab. The wolf had had enough.
"You think...fuck. I should call her," Koga mused, his mind jumping topics at a speed only achievable when shit-faced.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going and asking anyway. "Call who?"
"My woman." Koga started to tilt and Inuyasha shot a hand out to steady him. He should have just let the asshole fall. Luckily, the bartender was already there, taking Inuyasha's credit card.
"Fucking hell, wolf shit. You're not drunk calling your god damn ex." One hand on his drunk friend's shoulder, Inuyasha fished two 20s out of his wallet to throw to the bartender. She earned it dealing with Koga the last few hours. She took it with a grateful smile, handing his card back.
"Good luck with him," she said, pointing at Koga without taking her eyes off Inuyasha. "Be safe and enjoy the rest of your night." She shot one more look at him before sauntering off to wait on other customers. He was used to the looks his silver hair and gold eyes earned him. Even among demons, he was exotic, an attractive novelty with fluffy fucking ears.
"Let's get out of here." Inuyasha stood and dragged Koga out of the bar.
When they were safely outside, he pulled out his phone to call for a ride. Carrying an inebriated demon halfway across the city was not high on his list of things he wanted to do on a Friday night. He debated who his best option would be. Miroku was spending the night with his girlfriend, probably being gross, so that was a no-go. Jinenji would be up but the guy was way too nice to put him through drunk-Koga hell and his wife would give Inuyasha an earful for dragging him out. Ginta or Hakaku would be ignoring calls, knowing how Koga got after a break-up. Shiori would do it but he didn't want a woman for Koga to focus his attention on. Fuck.
He was gonna have to call the fox.
He popped in his custom-made earpiece (because it's impossible to find earbuds that fit when you have dog ears) and scrolled through his contacts until he found who he was looking for. Shippo answered and it was clear he had been informed of things that Inuyasha had not. "Yo. Lemme guess: Koga's break-up hammered and you need a ride?"
"How am I the last to hear about him getting dumped?" He growled and scowled at Koga. It was definitely a conspiracy.
"Someone had to deal with it and you seemed like the best option." He could practically hear the fucker smirking. Yep, they'd set him up.
"Just get your ass down here." He gave Shippo the address, keeping one eye and ear focused on Koga. At least Shippo was close by.
Turning his full attention back to Koga, he noticed the phone in his hand a little too late.
"Listen, I'm not even mad about that anymore. How about I come over there now and we can make up. I learned this new trick with my tongue and-" Koga didn't get to finish his sentence because Inuyasha snatched his phone away.
"First, gross. Second, what'd I fucking tell you? No drunk calls to your fucking ex." He glared at Koga, contemplating murder and the best place to dump a body until a quiet voice distracted him. The ex was still on the phone.
"Hey, anyone still there?"
Shit.
"Hey," Inuyasha said, holding the phone so they could hear each other more clearly. It was awkward at best with his ears on top of his head but his half-dog-demon hearing made up for it. "Sorry about the asshat, I wasn't paying enough attention."
"Oh, it's alright. I was kinda expecting it anyway," she said and sighed. "I shouldn't have answered my phone in the first place so it's partially my fault."
Inuyasha growled, fighting the urge to punch Koga in the throat. The woman's voice was soft and sweet, gently caressing his sensitive ears. The thought of Koga getting anywhere near someone who sounded so...so pure made Inuyasha's blood boil. "Keh, not your fault he's an asshole." Said asshole was making grabbing motions for his phone but Inuyasha swept a leg out casually, Koga's ass meeting the ground hard enough that Inuyasha heard his teeth clack together. "Don't worry, I'm not giving him his phone back until he's sobered up a bit."
"How much has he had to drink? It takes a lot to get a demon that drunk," she commented.
"Too much, clearly. I can't promise he won't try to call you again when I'm done babysitting his ass. Want me to delete your number from his phone?"
"Hmm, it's tempting but no." She sniffled and he wondered briefly if she'd been crying. Just because she was the one doing the dumping didn't mean she couldn't be upset about it. "Is he...well, really upset? It wasn't a...a nice breakup. I kind of...um...well, I accidentally shocked him with my reiki when he wouldn't leave and I uh, I feel kinda bad."
Inuyasha couldn't stop the bark of laughter that escaped his throat. "You what? I mean, I'm sure he deserved it." Koga grumbled from the ground beside him but Inuyasha ignored him.
"Don't laugh," she said but he could hear the amusement in her voice and the poorly stifled giggle. "I never trained beyond keeping it in so sometimes it just...escapes."
He shook his head and chuckled but reigned in his mirth quickly. "You, uh...are you alright?" he asked, genuinely concerned for the woman even though he'd never met her.
"Oh, yeah." She sighed and sniffled again. "I mean, I'm as good as I can be after something like that. Thank you though, for asking. Um...what was your name?"
"Oh, uh Inuyasha." Should he have been on the phone this long with his friend's ex? Absolutely not. Did he care at the moment? Also absolutely not. His brain was scrambling for a way to keep her talking so he could hear more of her melodic voice. His instincts were shouting at him to comfort and protect the woman on the other end of the phone. He needed to put a stop to that and soon.
"Well uh Inuyasha, my name's Kagome. Thank you and, um...it was nice to meet you, kind of. Oh, I mean, it was nice to meet you but we only kind of met. Not 'it was kind of nice to meet you'...um, shit. I'm rambling, sorry." She giggled and he could feel his ears twitching at the sound. It was fucking adorable.
The awkwardness of it all made him chuckle. "I get it. You too, Kagome." He liked how it felt saying her name. "And if asshat bothers you again, just let me know and I'll deal with him for you."
She giggled again and it just wasn't fair what it was doing to him. "Will do. I...um, I gotta go. Bye, Inuyasha."
"Bye, Kagome." He was sure he was grinning like an idiot by the time he hit the end call button. Hopefully, Koga was too drunk to notice.
"Gimme my phone back, shit-breath." Koga had managed to get himself back to his feet at some point and was making a more focused grab for his phone. His scowl was a good indicator that he'd heard a good bit of the conversion. Inuyasha didn't miss the way his eyes narrowed when Inuyasha finally let the smile fall.
"Here, fuckface." He tossed the phone in the air, Koga catching it with ease despite his drunkenness; he was already starting to sober up.
The blare of a car horn made them both jump. "You two assholes call for a ride?" Shippo yelled out the window. "Hope you know, I charge by the minute."
Inuyasha pushed Koga into the car, trying and failing to not think of Kagome, thoughts of his soulmate forgotten for the time being.
"You shouldn't be here."
"Like I'd stay away." Inuyasha knelt next to the sick woman, taking her hand in both of his. Her pale skin almost blended with the white of the futon underneath her, her hair looking much too dark in contrast. "I promised you I wouldn't let you face this alone and I meant it."
Hana gazed up at him with glazed-over eyes, once so full of life, a light sheen of sweat shining on her skin in the firelight. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I know how hard this must be for you."
"Keh. I'll be fine." It would take a few dozen years, but he'd manage...eventually...again.
She smiled weakly. "Always trying to hide your emotions. It's alright to be sad, you know."
Inuyasha sighed heavily. "I just wish I had found you sooner. Maybe we could've…" he trailed off, his heart squeezing at the thoughts of what could have been.
"My parting would only hurt you worse. If we are bound as you say we are then our hearts will find each other again. The red string of fate will guide my soul to yours." She closed her eyes and gave Inuyasha's hand a final squeeze.
Inuyasha listened to the last few weak flutters of her heart. When she breathed her last breath, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Then he…
...woke up drenched in sweat, again. At least he didn't need to make a mad rush to the bathroom this time. The dreams-nightmares, really-were infinitely more intense this time around. He could feel the pain of loss as acutely as when he'd lived those moments.
He'd only known Hana for a short time but her soul had called to him immediately when they'd first met. Her scent, while different from Kikyo's, still had the same effect on him, drawing him in and making him slightly delirious upon first smelling her. She got sick shortly after he'd found her. They were never sure what was wrong with her but she never got better and within a month of their first meeting, she was gone.
He rolled out of bed and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. At least he'd made it to 8 am this time. He only had about 15 minutes before his alarm would have woken him up anyway. Making his way into the bathroom, he remembered why he had to be up so early on his day off.
Fucking Koga.
It had been almost two months since the night at the bar with an inebriated Koga; two months since he'd first talked to Koga's ex, Kagome. Despite Koga's impaired state, he had heard the entire conversation between him and Kagome and he still wouldn't let Inuyasha live it down. Was it a crime to be friendly with your friend's ex on the phone? No, it fucking wasn't. Koga was acting like Inuyasha had slept with his ex instead of just holding a five-minute conversation and expressing concern over her wellbeing. Hell, he hadn't even talked to her again after that night and Koga was still being an asshole about it. Fucking wolf and his fucking jealousy.
And the cherry on top: Koga was already seeing someone else. He was so broken up about Kagome, he'd gone out and found a new girlfriend two weeks later. The only good thing to come of the whole mess was Koga completely forgetting their talk about Inuyasha's soulmate. He didn't need the wolf pushing him to go out and find her again. Koga was there the last time he'd...he'd lost her. He, of all people, should understand Inuyasha's hesitance.
Now he was stuck helping the asshole's new girlfriend move...in with Koga after only a month and a half of dating. The asshole spent six months with his ex and barely ever made time for her and now he was moving in with someone after six fucking weeks. Inuyasha shouldn't be as pissed as he was but the thought of Kagome finding out about Koga's behavior boiled his blood. That kind of shit can hurt and leave someone feeling like they just weren't good enough. At least Kagome was the one who'd done the dumping.
An hour and a half after rolling out of bed, Inuyasha was standing outside the new girlfriend's apartment building scowling at Koga. "Tell me why two full-blooded wolf demons couldn't manage this without my help. Why the fuck am I here?" he asked, seething. Ayame, the new girlfriend, was a demon. She was perfectly capable of moving most of her shit by herself.
"Because you owed me, mutt. Plus, there's something I need you to do since you were all chummy with my ex." Koga smirked and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket to hand to Inuyasha. "That's her address. I need you to pick up the last of my shit and bring it here."
"Whatever," Inuyasha said instead of the hundreds of insults and jabs he wanted to use. He snatched the paper and saw that there was also a phone number along with the address. "That her number?"
"Who the fuck else's number would it be?" Koga asked. "Hope you two get along well enough to get my shit back...but not so well that I don't get it back today."
Inuyasha growled and narrowed his eyes. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Oh, the implications were clear enough but fuck Koga if he thought he could just get his licks in without retaliation of some kind.
To Inuyasha's surprise, Koga's smirk turned into a genuine smile. "You'll see, dog breath."
"Koga," Ayame's shout cut into the odd conversation. "Move your ass before I put my foot in it."
He didn't laugh at Koga's panicked look or the way he sprinted up the front steps to his waiting girlfriend but it was a close thing. Koga needed someone like Ayame to put him in his damn place sometimes. He waited for the couple to disappear into the apartment building before going to his car to make a phone call.
Kagome answered on the third ring. "Hello?" came her soft but clear voice.
He froze for a second. He'd almost forgotten what her voice did to him. "H-hey," he managed after a much too long pause. "It's Inuyasha. Remember me?" Smooth and confident he was not.
There was another pause and he would have assumed she'd hung up if he hadn't been able to hear her quiet breathing. "Um, drunk ex's friend, right?"
Really? Well, it was better than not remembering him at all. "Yep, you got it." Fuck, he sounded like a moron.
"Let me guess: Koga roped you into picking up the last of his stuff?"
"Ding ding, we have a winner," he said flatly. "Is now a good time or…?"
"Now is perfect," she said then sighed. "I still don't know why he didn't just come get it himself."
Inuyasha had some ideas as to why but figured she didn't need to know her ex was already moved on and moved in with someone else so soon. So instead he said, "Don't know. Saves you from any awkward interactions though, right?"
"That's the thing, though," she said. "We've been getting along fine since he started dating Ayame. There's no reason he couldn't come get his stuff himself."
"Wait, you already knew about…?"
"Yep. It's a kinda longish story but I've known Ayame for a really long time. I'm not upset or anything, just...damn. It's dumb, never mind. I guess I'll see you when you get here."
"Alright then," Inuyasha said slowly. "I'll be there soon. Just watch for the red Challenger."
"Okay, see ya soon."
Inuyasha thought about their odd conversation on the drive over, one ear focused on his GPS. He also thought about how nice it was to talk to Kagome despite not knowing each other. Briefly, the idea of actually getting to know her, of possibly asking her out, crossed his mind but he quickly pushed it aside. He already felt like he'd overstepped a boundary.
Still, something wasn't sitting right about the whole situation. Koga and Kagome were getting along; Kagome knew Ayame and knew they were dating already; Koga still wouldn't go get his own shit; he'd singled out Inuyasha to be the go-between (that he shouldn't need, according to Kagome); and what the fuck was up with the cryptic-ass 'you'll see' while smiling at him like a moron? The whole thing screamed 'set-up' and Inuyasha did not like it one fucking bit.
The voice of his GPS telling him he'd arrived at his destination broke him out of his thoughts. He pulled to the curb in front of the apartment building, ignoring the no parking sign. Getting out of the car, he took in the run-down state of the building. It was three stories of crumbling brick and cracked windows squeezed in the middle of a street full of similarly disused large homes turned into apartment buildings. Had he been paying attention to her address he may have realized sooner that she lived in this shitty part of town.
The front door opened and a petite woman with wavy black hair, large blue eyes, and the brightest smile he'd ever seen stepped onto the small front porch. The floral patterned sundress she wore showed off the perfect curve of her hips and chest and revealed the creamy skin of her impossibly long legs. She looked valley familiar and he tried to place where he'd seen her before. If this was Kagome, then he was...then her scent hit him and he growled, vowing then and there to rip Koga to shreds the next time he saw him. How had the fucker known?
"Um, are you Inuyasha?" the woman asked, looking at him hesitantly. Had she heard his growl?
He schooled his features and plastered on a not-as-fake-as-he'd-like smile. "That's me. Guess that means you're Kagome." Her name felt different rolling off his tongue now that he knew, echoing in his head and ringing in his ears. He took in her appearance again and a chill went up his spine as he realized why she looked familiar.
She looked like Kikyo, especially with the way she was frowning.
Her face brightened again and the resemblance faded a bit as she started down the steps. Her hair danced around her shoulders, swaying slightly in the light summer breeze. "You guessed right! I've got his things just inside the door if you wouldn't mind carrying them down for me."
Fuck, her voice was music to his ears. Now that she was so close, the ghost of Kikyo completely dissipated. Everything about Kagome was softer, warmer somehow. Her voice was brighter, her hair bouncier, her step more lively. She was...perfect.
No, not again. Not this time. He wouldn't do this again. He wouldn't watch this beautiful woman, so full of life with her easy smile and expressive eyes, fade and die before his very eyes.
"Are you alright?" she asked, now standing directly in front of him. When had she gotten so close? Her eyes wandered from his face up to his ears and fuck, he couldn't miss the wide, hopeful look she gave them.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, somehow managing to sound normal even though his throat felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. "Um, right inside the door, you said?" He tore his eyes away from her face and started up the steps.
She followed closely, much too closely, behind. God, her scent was going to kill him. "Yep. Two boxes, both marked. They're a little on the heavy side but you look like you can manage."
They reached the door and Inuyasha immediately grabbed both stacked boxes. "Alright, I'll just get out of your hair now." He turned to go back down the steps, doing his best not to look at her, when a gentle brush of her fingers against his forearm stopped him. The contact, though brief, sent electricity shooting up his arm and drew his eyes back to her.
She stood there wringing her hands and looking everywhere but at him. "Um, would you...shit, I...maybe we could…"
Oh no. No, what the hell was this? She couldn't be.
Her eyes finally found his face and he could see the hope shining there. "Did you wanna, maybe, I don't know, get a coffee or something?" She shrugged and looked back down at her hands, still twisting in front of her. "I mean, Koga waited how long for his stuff, he can wait a little longer, right? And it would get you out of helping them move and I'm sure Koga wouldn't mind since they're both demons and…" She was a rambling, nervous mess. A rambling, adorable, nervous, endearing fucking mess.
'What if this time is different?'
Fuck Koga and his fucking words of wisdom.
He set the boxes down and met her gaze. She'd finally stopped talking and was looking at him with wide eyes and clasped hands. On some level, she would be able to feel the pull of that cursed red string. How many nights had he spent agonizing and thinking over whether to attempt severing that bond?
And it all went out the window the moment he looked in her eyes. "Coffee sounds good," he said, "but dinner sounds better."
Her smile out-shined the sun and her laugh squeezed his heart. "That sounds perfect!"
Doomed from the start and there was nothing he could do to fight it. The way her face lit with joy would haunt his dreams when this was over, he knew.
And her laugh, his soulmate's melodious laugh, would be his requiem.