A/N: Like many of my stories, I had the idea for this years ago but only got around to writing it sometime in this past year. Hope you enjoy it!
xxx
He saw it the moment it happened.
Jane been looking forward to trying his hand at catching a gang of art thieves, but he hadn't bothered to get up from his couch when Agent Pike had joined Fischer in front of the big screen for the briefing. If he was going to help them out, he might as well get the Art Squad used to his way of doing things right off the bat. Besides, he didn't expect anything earth-shattering to occur during this briefing, so there was no need to pay any particular attention at this stage. Agent Pike seemed competent enough, but to Jane's well-trained eye, perhaps a little dull and unimaginative. It hadn't occurred to him that Pike, in his regulation FBI wardrobe, a man he'd mentally catalogued as 'earnest yet boring,' would ever, in a thousand years, have the power to destabilize his universe.
Pike had been standing ready to brief the team on the art thieves. He'd been calm, professional. Confident and knowledgeable about his subject. Well-prepared, if lacking imagination in his presentation. But when Lisbon had joined the briefing a minute late carrying a cup of coffee, Jane had seen Pike's eyes flit to her and linger.
Lisbon's entrance visibly derailed Pike's thought process. He fell silent as Fischer introduced him, his eyes still on Lisbon and his mouth parted softly in appreciation. When Lisbon smiled at him over her cup of coffee as she took her seat, Pike was sunk. He didn't know her smile had been a polite, 'sorry I'm late to your briefing' smile of apology. He only knew that this lovely, fresh-faced yet badass woman with a badge had smiled at him. He was half ready to fall in love with her there and then.
Tracking Pike's reaction, Jane straightened in alarm. He glanced at Lisbon. Black jeans, black boots, black shirt, and black blazer. Nothing terribly remarkable about her wardrobe to catch the eye, he thought with a critical frown. He supposed the ensemble did set off her dark hair in a way some would consider striking, he acknowledged to himself grudgingly. She had her hair back in a ponytail and wore very little make up, which somehow made her expression more open than usual. Her green eyes even more kind and fathomless. To top it all off, the flash of gold at her throat where her necklace lay signaled there was more to her than first met the eye.
Jane sometimes forgot how beautiful Lisbon really was. Not in the sense that he wasn't aware of it, but her physical beauty was so wrapped up in his own mind with his shining perception of her based on his deep knowledge of her inner self that it was difficult for him to separate the concept of Lisbon as a beautiful woman from Teresa, his best friend, his North Star, his sharp-tongued, steadfast companion, the bravest and best soul he knew. But of course, she was beautiful, and Pike had noticed.
He looked back at Pike, who was gazing at Lisbon with all the signs of a man immediately besotted. Jane's heart sank. This was terrible.
It was his own fault, of course. Cursed by his own curiosity, his yen for anything new and different to stave off monotony and boredom.
If only he hadn't eavesdropped on the Art Squad. If only he hadn't thought to himself that it would be fun to take a break from the usual brand of thugs and murderers and chase art thieves instead. If only he hadn't persuaded Abbott to take on the case.
If only he hadn't done all those things, he wouldn't have had to witness the moment Agent Marcus Pike had straightened up and taken notice of the pocket rocket, the dynamite, heavily armed, cute as a button Agent Teresa Lisbon. He wouldn't have had to realize that his strategy of biding his time and waiting for the right moment to present itself was not only unwise, but downright dangerous.
He cursed himself for a fool. He'd grown so accustomed to Lisbon's near perpetual state of singleness, he hadn't considered the most obvious risk to his 'wait and see' plan. Namely, that another man might take interest in Lisbon in the meantime. Worse, that she might take an interest in him in turn.
Pike was distracted as he ran through what the Art Squad knew about the case so far. He kept glancing at Lisbon, instantly attentive whenever she spoke.
At first, Jane tried to persuade himself there was nothing to worry about. Pike was clearly smitten, but men had tried to worship at the altar of Lisbon before, and nothing much ever came of it. She was too busy saving the world to bother with anything more than fleeting flirtations. Jane had often found himself both perplexed and exasperated by this fact—was the woman completely incapable of acting selfishly and taking time for herself for once? But over the years, he'd grown to be abjectly grateful for her intense and particular nature, because it meant he could monopolize her attention for himself, and there wouldn't be any inconvenient boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands around to complain.
But unlike most men, Pike had offered Lisbon something she couldn't resist. A puzzle. A new case, with no immediate angle to suggest a particular path of investigation. When he explained how the Art Squad had gotten a line on Pulaski, a member of the gang of thieves, Lisbon jumped in.
"If he's a known felon, we should have a list of his known associates, hangouts, stuff like that," she offered.
"We do, but nothing's popped," Pike said regretfully. Jane frowned as he watched Lisbon engage with him, her attention focused on Pike and his appealing 'art and theft and murder all wrapped up in one' case. Glancing back at Pike again, he saw the other man's body was angled towards Lisbon, his attention one hundred percent focused on her. Observing this, Jane was forced to revise his opinion. This was definitely something to worry about.
In that instant, his plan was born.
When Lisbon suggested setting a tail on Pulaski, Jane made a point of closing the case file dramatically and tossing it aside, thus calling attention to himself and away from Pike. "You'll be waiting for weeks," he said dismissively. "My plan is a little more elaborate, but it's much more entertaining." He capped this off with a charming smile in Lisbon's direction, lest she forget who was the most charming of them all.
"Of course it is," Cho said flatly.
The gambit worked, though. Lisbon looked his way. "You already have a plan?" Her expression skeptical, but amused. A promising sign.
Jane stood up from his couch (a little movement to catch the eye never hurt). "Well, as you know, Agent Lisbon," he said loftily—nothing commanded attention like saying someone's name—"the key to a good con is making the mark feel he is in control." He made his way from his couch to Fischer's side to place himself in center stage—where Lisbon would have to divide her gaze between Pike and himself equally, and Jane would no longer be relegated to the periphery of her vision. He added in a dose of heavy eye contact for good measure, holding her gaze with his. "You can lead a man anywhere, as long as he thinks he is driving."
Pike turned towards Jane, his earnest expression now focused on Jane instead of Lisbon. "So how do we do that?"
Oh, Pike, rookie mistake, Jane thought to himself gleefully. Instantly capitulating the field without making the least bid to regain control of the briefing and therefore Lisbon's attention? What a sucker. Jane ruthlessly seized the advantage. "Well, first we rope him in with some flash, then steer him towards a couple of good inside men, a face. We're going to need some art for the gaff, and then a good false blow-off."
Pike stared at him in consternation. "I don't know what any of that means." He looked to Lisbon for help.
"You'll get used to it," she said wryly. Jane felt a twinge of discomfort—perhaps Pike had come up with a winning play after all, enlisting her as an ally.
"But if you want art," Pike continued. "I've got art."
Jane smiled, covering that twinge with sheer force of will. "Good."
Xxx
The twinge returned, however, when he, Pike, and Lisbon went to the Art Squad's storage area for stolen art.
Lisbon walked through the aisles of art with an expression of wonder. "Where does all this stuff come from?" she asked Pike, clearly impressed.
Jane frowned. Perhaps it had been a strategic mistake, letting Pike bring her into his territory where he was sure to show to advantage.
No matter. He could give Pike this one—Jane was about to pull off a complex and delicate con, which was after all far more impressive than having keys to a glorified storage space. Even if the storage space did hold treasures of incalculable worth. Jane wandered into the back, captivated by the bounty before him. He surveyed the stock of paintings—good Lord, that was a real Van Gogh. He smiled to himself. That was definitely coming with him.
"So, you bring dates here?" Lisbon asked Pike with a teasing grin.
She was flirting with him, Jane realized in outraged shock. Right in front of him.
Well, he couldn't have that. He needed to put a stop to this immediately.
He clapped his hands together – again, sound and movement to attract the eye and divert attention away from the enemy – er, Pike, and hastily rejoined the other two. "Fantastic," he declared. "Gorgeous. I love you, Agent Pike." He didn't love him. Pike was a charming, lovable fool, and Jane was starting to feel downright hostile towards him. Nothing would be gained by showing his feelings on the subject, however. He had to keep sight of the real objective, which was keeping Lisbon's attention on himself and not letting her get close enough to Pike to see his lovable side at all. "Everything we need. I'm going to make a list, and we should be ready to roll in about a week." A list would be perfect. It would be impersonal and time consuming, so Pike would have no reason to loiter around the bullpen chatting up Lisbon while the rest of the team prepped for the con.
"I don't want to second-guess you, Mr. Jane," Pike said, polite but dubious. "But if you want to use these paintings as bait, the guy running this crew knows a lot about art. He's going to know these paintings are stolen."
"Yes," Jane said in his most condescending manner, so his own brilliance would shine the more brightly and Lisbon would realize that Pike was nothing more than a boring halfwit, even if he did have his own secret stolen art museum. "That's the point."
Xxx
Several days later, Jane answered the door to the party house to find Lisbon on the front step, looking devastating in the white dress he'd picked out for her, a duffle bag over her shoulder. He'd asked her to come early so they could go over their covers together—in other words, so they could spend a little time alone together before the rest of the team arrived.
"Wow," he said, letting his eyes go wide and round. "You look amazing," he said, taking the bag from her and making a point to stare. It was all part of his plan to make sure Lisbon knew he saw her as a desirable woman and not just his dearest friend.
"Thanks," Lisbon said dryly. She stepped inside and gestured to the generous portion of cleavage the dress showed to such delectable advantage. "Any particular reason you needed to me to tart myself up for this con? I thought Fischer was the bait or the face or whatever you call it."
"Who says the dress isn't purely for my own enjoyment?" Jane said with a wicked smile. Aside from the aforementioned plan to make Lisbon feel desired, this actually happened to be true. He'd recruited Wylie to help with most of the logistics of setting up the con, but the selection of Lisbon's wardrobe for the weekend was one task he'd had no intention of delegating. He congratulated himself on his good taste—she looked stunning.
Lisbon snorted. "Yeah, right." She strode into the living room and put her hands on her hips, surveying the sleek modern design of the house. "Helluva place," she commented. "How'd you find it?"
"Pike," Jane said, disgruntled by her dismissal of his blatant flirtation. He set down her duffle bag by the stairs to take up later. Surely that comment ought to have merited a blush, at the very least. "I gave him a list."
"He seems pretty on top of things," Lisbon said, wandering through the downstairs and inspecting the all-white furniture with a dubious eye.
"I suppose," Jane said, scowling. Finding one lousy seized property in the multi-million dollar range within a convenient distance to the FBI headquarters—that was her idea of 'on top of things?' Wait til she saw the marching band, he comforted himself. That would show her. And Marcus 'I'm good at lists' Pike.
"So what's the plan?" Lisbon asked, turning to face him.
Stunning really was the right word, he reflected. It took him a moment to marshal his thoughts after being treated to the full dazzling view of her. Like looking straight into the sun. He stepped closer. "Come out to the patio," he invited her, placing a hand at the small of her back and gesturing for her to precede him. "I'll explain everything."
Xxx
"Why do you need two inside men?" Lisbon asked dubiously, taking a sip from her glass of water and sitting back in her chair. She looked lovely, framed by the lush greenery of the birds of paradise and palm plants on the patio. Jane had found it difficult to stay focused on his explanation, watching the light glint off her dark hair and the pure magnificence of her frankly unparalleled bare legs in the warm spring air.
Jane tore his eyes away from her legs with difficulty. "Hm?"
"Why do you need two inside men for this job?" Lisbon repeated. "Wouldn't I be more effective monitoring the situation from the outside?"
"You mean so you could come in guns blazing when I inevitably get myself in trouble," he interpreted, stealing another glance at her legs.
"Well—yeah. You can't deny you have a knack for it," she said with a rueful smile.
"But think how much more quickly you'll be able to rescue me if you're already on the scene," he pointed out.
She glanced down at herself. "I'm not going to be able to do you much good in this get up," she said doubtfully. "I don't even have anywhere to put my gun."
"Nonsense," Jane said dismissively. "You always do me more good than any ten guys from SWAT, gun or no gun."
She flashed him a pleased smile. "Yeah?"
He nodded. "I want you to have my back from the inside. Besides, it will be fun," he added. He, for one, was looking forward to spending the evening with Lisbon in that dress with great anticipation.
Her smile faded. "I don't know. You know I'm no good at this crap. You're the one always telling me what a terrible actor I am. How I can't tell a lie to save my life and how everyone can always tell that I'm a cop after one look at me. How do you expect me to pull something like this off?"
"You'll do fine," Jane said. "I have every confidence in you. And believe me," he said, giving her a once over. "No one who gets a look at you in that dress is going to think you're a cop." Mainly, he thought privately, because if they were male, their higher brain functions would go offline after one glance.
"All right," she said reluctantly. But she didn't look reassured.
Xxx
Jane had a wonderful time at the party. He'd spent some time working the room before Pulaski showed up, assessing the dynamics of the agents doubling as party goers. He joked with them and switched people around as needed so they would relax and act like they were actually enjoying themselves.
Plus, he got to have Lisbon on his arm the whole evening. He basked in the notion of them as a couple, acknowledged. Their importance to one another recognized and affirmed through little smiles, small touches, and the exchange of a knowing glance. They could have this, he thought with giddy abandon. They could stand by side and hold hands at parties and go upstairs together at night. He'd have to convince her he was ready to move on, that the two years on the island had done their work. But he could do it. And this—the dress, spending the evening together like this—this could be the start of it all.
Once Pulaski had arrived and they'd dispatched him to meet Kim, Jane took a moment to tease Lisbon for her acting skills. "You're doing very well," he said soothingly. "Just, uh, a little big."
"Big? Really?" Lisbon said, her face scrunching up adorably.
"Try a little less Joan Crawford, a little more Barbara Stanwyck," he advised. That shouldn't be difficult—Lisbon in real life was very much like a modern Barbara Stanwyck. Tough and smart, her natural strength and beauty making every move she made utterly captivating.
Lisbon scowled. "I don't even know what that means. I can't even walk and you're giving me acting tips?"
"Just stay upright and keep smiling."
"I can't breathe in this dress," she muttered as they turned and went to greet more of their fake guests.
Jane experienced a moment of doubt. Perhaps the dress and the heels had been a bit over the top. Perfect for the party and the impression they needed to make on Pulaski, but if they'd put Lisbon on edge, maybe they hadn't been the wisest choice.
He watched her smile at two agents from the Missing Persons unit and dismissed the thought. Nah. Lisbon was fine. Making her feel desirable had been the right play. He was sure of it.
Xxx
Jane woke from a pleasant, cinnamon scented dream, warm and content. He pulled the blanket up and rubbed his cheek against it, chasing more of that cinnamon scent.
Then he sat up, appalled.
He'd fallen asleep. Lisbon had told him she was going to change and check in with headquarters. He'd stretched out on the couch, looking forward to seeing Lisbon in her nightwear, but in the course of closing his eyes to imagine whether he was going to be treated to the sight of her in her Bears jersey, he must have drifted off.
He cursed himself. Of all the idiotic things to do. He'd had the perfect opportunity to have some quality alone time with Lisbon, and he'd wasted it by passing out on the couch like a sucker. It would have been perfect. He'd been planning for the two of them to have an intimate chat in low light, perhaps a heartfelt moment to remind her who was important in her life. It was true he'd been putting in a lot of time into the con the last few days, but that was no reason to fall asleep like an old man. He rubbed a hand over his face and took stock.
It was after midnight. All the lights were off. He traced his fingertip along the edge of the blanket that had fallen down around his waist when he'd sat up. Lisbon must have come down earlier and draped it over him. He smiled softly into the darkness. She took such good care of him.
He frowned. He couldn't say the same about himself. He'd meant to treat her to a decadent take out meal after the party, knowing she wouldn't be satisfied by the leftover hors d'oeuvres, but he'd fallen asleep before he could propose the idea. He cursed himself again.
Well, he thought with resignation, there was nothing to be done about it now. Lisbon had obviously turned in for the night. He'd missed his shot. He lay back down and pulled the blanket back over his shoulders. He'd just have to try again tomorrow.
Xxx
To his delight, Jane had an opportunity to admire Lisbon in her nightwear after all. At half past eight the following morning, she shuffled into the kitchen in search of coffee, wearing a red button down thing that hit her mid-thigh. He stole another look at her legs—Lisbon in her bare feet was even more enticing that Lisbon in heels.
He handed her a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "Good morning."
She accepted the cup gratefully. "Morning."
"Sleep all right?" he asked, prodding the omelette he had on the stove with a spatula.
"Fine," she said, perching on a stool at the kitchen counter and inhaling the scent of her coffee while she waited for it to cool. "How about you? Was the couch comfortable?"
"Can't complain," Jane said, flipping the omelette onto the plate he had laid out with fruit and a freshly baked croissant. "I hope you're hungry."
"Starved," she acknowledged.
He turned and set the plate in front of her with a flourish.
"Thanks," she said, but she looked at the plate and sighed a little.
Jane frowned. "Something wrong?"
"Sorry. It's nothing," she said, accepting the fork he handed her. "I was just kind of in the mood for pancakes."
"Oh," Jane said, taken aback. It was unlike Lisbon to turn up her nose at any kind of home cooked meal. Especially breakfast. Usually she grabbed yogurt or a bagel to go—whatever was quickest—and didn't devote much thought to what she ate beyond what was necessary to sustain her for her various and sundry crime-fighting activities. "I was planning to close the case this afternoon, but if we're still here, I can make pancakes tomorrow."
"Don't mind me, Jane," she said. She picked up her fork. "This is fine. Really. Thank you. It was sweet of you to cook."
Mollified, Jane flipped his own omelette onto a plate and sat down across from her. He took a bite of his eggs and met her gaze. "Thank you for the blanket, by the way."
She blushed. "You're welcome."
Reassured by the blush, he added, "It was very thoughtful. I appreciate you looking after me."
"Oh, well—" Lisbon muttered something unintelligible and busied herself with her omelette.
Jane smiled to himself and took another bite of his eggs, stealing glances at her from time to time. She was so adorable with her hair mussed and no makeup on, sighing in contentment over her coffee.
He wanted this, he thought with longing. He wanted it all the time. He wanted her all the time. Twenty four hours a day. Seven days a week. For the rest of his life. He wasn't convinced even that would be enough. The thought was almost enough to tempt a man to believe in a higher power, just so he'd have the smallest prayer of spending eternity with her in the afterlife.
She kicked him gently under the table. "So, what's next on the agenda for today?"
"Well, first, you're going to savor your breakfast and enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee," he told her. "Then you are going to go upstairs and have a long, hot shower. And then you and I are going to put our feet up and wait for McKay to turn up."
"So he can lure us out of the house," she stated.
"Exactly. He'll take us to the museum and pretend to ask us about our plan to steal the painting. Meanwhile, his crew will break in here and try to take the Van Gogh."
"But they won't find it because it will be in the safe," she concluded.
"Yes. Thus ensuring that McKay has to come back and take care of it himself. Which will in turn set him up to lead us straight back to the painting he stole from the gallery."
"You're awfully confident," Lisbon remarked. "What if he doesn't follow every step you've laid out for him? If he does something you haven't anticipated, we could lose him for good."
Jane clutched at his chest. "Lisbon, you wound me. Do you really have so little faith in me, after all these years?"
"I'm just saying, there are a lot of things that have to line up perfectly for your plan to work. One thing goes wrong, and the whole thing falls apart."
"True," he agreed. He grinned at her. "Want to bet on it?"
She took a sip of her coffee and made a sour face. "No," she said reluctantly.
Her refusal to bet against him was heartening. A sign she still believed in him. Jane returned his attention to his omelette, content.
Xxx
"Time to go," Jane announced an hour and a half later, peering out the window.
"McKay's here?" Lisbon asked, looking up from the card trick Jane had been teaching her.
"Yep," Jane said, forbearing to mention that McKay had arrived forty-five minutes earlier. Lisbon would have wanted to run out and meet him right away, eager to dive into action. He, on the other hand, had no intention of giving up any portion of his quality time with Lisbon, especially not for a brute like McKay.
Lisbon hesitated. "Maybe we should wait a few minutes," she said doubtfully. "It'd be kind of suspicious if we happened to walk out the door right when he arrived, wouldn't it?"
"True," Jane said, secretly delighted. "Good idea. Let's let him cool his heels for a while."
Of course, Lisbon only lasted ten minutes before she started fidgeting, anxious to get to work.
Jane sighed and bowed to the inevitable. "Shall we?" he said, extending his arm.
"Yeah," Lisbon said, clearly relieved. She slipped on her shoes and took his proffered arm.
Jane took the opportunity to lean in close. "You look lovely in that dress, by the way."
Lisbon glanced down at herself as they walked towards the front door. "Thanks. It's more comfortable than the one last night, anyway. But these heels are so high I might fall over trying to walk across the driveway if you let go of me."
"Well, just lean on me, then," he said, giving her a playful nudge.
"I will," she said. "It's the least you can do, after coming up with this ridiculous wardrobe."
"It's not ridiculous," Jane protested. "It's all part of the characters. We're a couple who enjoys the finer things in life, and I'm a man thoroughly smitten. Naturally, I want to make sure my girlfriend has the best that money can buy."
"Uh-huh," Lisbon said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And you need me to not look too coppish, right?"
"That, too," he agreed. "But come on, you have to admit we make a great couple," he said, opening the front door. "A regular Bonnie and Clyde."
"Bonnie and Clyde were thieves and murderers," Lisbon pointed out as she preceded him through the doorway. "Who died horrible deaths running from the law."
"Yeah, but they were together," Jane countered, locking the door behind him, then taking Lisbon's arm again. "It was just the two of them against the world."
"Because the world was upset about the murdering and thieving," Lisbon said.
"Okay, so they weren't about picket fences and fairy tale endings," Jane conceded, walking down the front path towards the steps to the driveway. "But you have to admit, it's a romantic story."
"I suppose," Lisbon said. "Maybe a little. If you ignore the fact that their story was over-sensationalized in the press and glossed over the whole murdering thing, and that they were ultimately gunned down like dogs."
"Aha!" Jane crowed. "I knew you had romance in your soul, Lisbon! You just can't resist a tale of passion and devotion, can you?"
Lisbon shook her head as they headed down the steps, smiling. "You're a ridiculous man, you know that?"
Jane was so preoccupied with her smile that he'd almost forgotten McKay's presence. The man loomed in the driveway, exuding an air that was a strange mix of menacing and dashing.
"Well, you just love popping up places," Jane observed. It was so inconvenient that McKay was interrupting his quality bantering time with Lisbon, even if McKay was the reason Jane had been able to engineer the quality time in the first place.
"Let's go," McKay said brusquely.
"Good morning to you, too," Lisbon said to McKay dryly. Her fingers tangled with Jane's as he took her hand to hand her into the car.
Jane let go of her reluctantly but climbed into the front seat with a glad heart. It was a good morning.
Xxx
When they reached the museum, McKay parked across the street, ostensibly so they could surveil the exits. Jane had been all for casing the joint and coming up with a real plan to steal the painting to shore up the cover, but since McKay's primary objective was getting them out of the house, he didn't seem too fussed about the details of their supposed heist. He parked and stared at the banner for the Manet exhibit with a dour expression.
"It's a beautiful piece, isn't it?" Jane said conversationally.
McKay grunted, not interested.
"Violets," Jane said grandly. "Manet painted it as a gift for his brother's wife. His forbidden love. He couldn't express his love to her in words, so…" Jane shrugged. "He did it a different way. With a painting."
"It's worth maybe a hundred million," McKay said, the romance of it all lost on him. "If it ever went to auction. You have someone who wants it."
"We've got a customer lined up," Lisbon said coolly. Jane smiled to himself. Looked like she'd tapped into her inner Barbara Stanwyck after all.
"How much?"
"Five million."
"Fifty fifty split," McKay said.
That was highway robbery, when the theoretical heist had been theoretically Jane's idea, but he supposed it wasn't worth haggling over a theoretical payoff. Especially when his character was supposedly intimidated by McKay's threats to 'hurt them badly' instead of biding his time to spring a trap tailor-made just for McKay. He surveyed McKay critically. "Fair enough."
"You've probably got some cute little plan to get us in and out," McKay said with a smirk. "No fuss, no muss."
Jane smiled. "I do like to keep my muss to a minimum." He could practically hear Lisbon rolling her eyes from the backseat, but she valiantly refrained from commenting on the number of crapstorms he'd landed her in over the years, to use a term she'd employed on more than one occasion.
"I don't do cute," McKay said. "Tricks, cleverness—it's a waste of time."
Jane smiled. "You'd be surprised."
McKay shook his head. "Fast and simple. That's the way to do things."
"You're the one in the driver seat," Jane said graciously. It was too bad for McKay that he was going to drive himself straight into the trap.
"Is this debate over?" Lisbon asked from the backseat with a trace of impatience. "Because Patrick and I do actually have plans for the day."
"Sure," McKay said, starting the engine. "We'll do it your way. No fuss, no muss."
"Excellent," Jane said, still reveling in the sound of the words 'Patrick and I' falling from Lisbon's lips. He settled back into his seat, pleased. Patrick and I. He really liked the sound of that.
xxx
The con played out exactly as planned. Jane took immense pleasure in the look on McKay's face once they were back in the interrogation room and Jane asked him if the marching band had played 'The Yellow Rose of Texas.'
McKay's face contorted into a mixture of confusion and rage as the truth dawned on him. "The garbage truck. The marching band," he said slowly. "You did all that?" He grimaced. "You steered me to the cab."
"The illusion of control," Jane confirmed. "It made you feel safe enough to go where you kept the paintings. Now, unless you have any further questions about how I played you like a big ol' bassoon," he said, getting to his feet. "I have someplace fabulous to go." He'd decided. He was going to tell Lisbon the truth of how he felt, after all this time. He felt giddy at the prospect of turning their make believe relationship into a reality.
After returning the painting to Mrs. Hennigan, Jane headed to the bullpen, bracing himself for his declaration.
When he walked in, he saw Pike and Lisbon by Lisbon's desk. Lisbon was putting on her jacket, clearly preparing to leave. And Pike was waiting for her, like they were planning to go somewhere together. Okay, that was a bit of a blow, but he could rally and go with it. "Okay," he said, clapping his hands together and making his voice as jovial as he could make it. "Where are we going?"
Pike turned, a delighted half-smile on his face, and Lisbon hesitated, putting on her jacket.
Jane froze. The delighted half-smile—that wasn't because Pike was glad to see him. It was because Lisbon had agreed to go on a date with him. And Lisbon's hesitation—no doubt she felt awkward announcing that she was going out on a date with someone they worked with. "Ah," he said, his smile fading.
"Oh," Pike said awkwardly, looking at Lisbon for help, then back at him. "Well, you…"
He trailed off, torn between the polite instinct to invite Jane along and his obvious preference that Jane not join the date that he'd finally landed with the woman he'd been staring at with longing for the past week and a half.
For a moment, Jane was in agony. Lisbon was clearly pleased about the date. Pike must have had snuck in more opportunities to chat her up while he hadn't been looking. Jane felt like a fool, having imagined that Lisbon was caught up in the same fantasy he had been in for the past two days, playing house like they were only half a step away from the altar instead of…instead of making dates with other men the moment he turned his back.
Maybe he should step aside. Let Pike take Lisbon out. Maybe charm her for a few weeks, and then be there waiting in the wings when she inevitably got tired of him. He looked at the pair of them critically, taking in their matching black leather jackets and their matching guns on their hips and their matching tentative, hopeful smiles at each other.
It was the smiles that decided him. Stepping aside, being the bigger man...that wasn't really his thing. So instead of pasting on a smile and saying 'oh, no, you two go on ahead,' Jane allowed the moment to stretch into an uncomfortable silence and pinned his gaze on Pike, refusing to look away.
Pike coughed. "Well, uh, you're welcome to come along…"
"Oh, no," Lisbon said with alarm. "No, that's not—"
"Great!" Jane said cheerfully. He maneuvered his way between them and slung his arms around each of their shoulders. "This is going to be fun."