Thank you to my lovely beta Maddie :) Enjoy!

"How many?"

"What?" Remus turned his head to look at her properly, one eyebrow raised.

"How many?" she repeated, not looking at him but staring straight up at the stars above them. It was a warm July night and they were laying on the grass just in front of their house.

"How many what?"

She sighed. "How many exes have you got?"

"Exes?" he asked dumbfoundedly. They had just gotten engaged, and she was asking about the people he was previously with? This girl…

"Yes, Remus. Exes."

He continued looking at her. "Why do you want to know that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

Remus raised his eyebrow again.

Dora sighed. "I-just... I have been thinking… about something."

"Yes?" Remus started brushing her waist-length red hair.

"Well, you know how for the last year we were kinda arguing about whether we should be together or not. I told you that I didn't care that you are a werewolf yet you kept pushing your "reasons" in front of your heart and said they were valid. I obviously thought they weren't, but now I'm thinking about it and I realized that maybe they weren't excuses why it would be dangerous for us to be together -"

"But they were," Remus interjected.

"But rather because you didn't want to be with me. Like you actually didn't want to be in a relationship with me," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath while Remus next to her was starting to sweat. First, she asked about his exes and now she's saying he didn't want to be with her? What is going on in that cute little head of hers?

"Hold on now, Dora-"

"But not because you didn't love me," she said quietly. "I know – I feel that you love me."

"Then what-"

Dora finally looked at him. Green eyes met brown and she smiled.

"You were afraid of getting your heart broken."

"I-what? I-I'm afraid you're going to have to elaborate on that one, Dora, I'm not sure I understand you."

"You weren't afraid of what people will think of us or how the society will treat us. You were afraid I was going to wake up one day and realize being with you was a big mistake and then I would leave you, heartbroken and sad, because you finally thought you found someone who truly loved you but they didn't."

At this point, Remus didn't know what to say, what to think. His mouth was hanging open as he stared at the girl next to him. Sometime during the conversation, they had turned on their sides and her hand was on his chest, right above his heart while his was on her waist.

"I… I… What are you saying?" he asked.

"Well," she shifted closer to him, "I suppose I'm asking you if any of your previous partners did that to you. Left you when you were sure they won't and now you can't trust anyone?" her smile was gentle, eyes roaming over his shocked face.

Remus, who seemed to finally found his voice to say something, cleared his throat.

"I- no. That didn't happen to me. Ever."

"Really?"

"No. Well, I only had two serious relationships before you, so I guess I didn't have many chances to have my heart broken."

"They both ended well?"

"Yes. I suppose. The first one ended somewhere right after we graduated from Hogwarts. There was this girl Natalia I was dating since fifth year. I've always had a crush on her. She was a Ravenclaw in our year and we often had classes together. When we graduated, she decided to go abroad while I stayed here with my friends and joined the Order. We separated peacefully, no fighting. We decided to remain friends although we haven't talked since. I must admit, I was a little sad when we ended it because I really liked her, but I guess since your definition of heartbreak is when someone tells you you're a monster and they never want to see you again, it wasn't bad," Remus smiled at Dora.

"And the other?"

Remus sighed and locked his gaze on an old swing of his behind Dora.

"It was a few years after James and Lily died and Sirius was sent to Azkaban. I was very depressed at that time and even thought about suicide," Remus admitted. He had never told this to anyone, not even Sirius when they reunited again.

"Remus!" Dora gasped and he noticed tears welling up in her eyes. A few slid down her cheeks and Remus brushed them gently with his thumb.

"It's okay, darling. I'm here, aren't I? Anyway, I was in a really bad state then. I had no job therefore no money so I lived on the streets."

"What about your father? Couldn't you live with him?"

"He offered me to live with him, but I just couldn't do it. My mother died a few months before and I never had the best relationship with my father. I declined. I didn't want him to worry about his adult child."

Dora chuckled a little at that.

"Then, I started drinking. I became an alcoholic. I would drink days on end because then I couldn't feel the pain. I felt numb. I didn't feel the guilt and anger and sadness."

"As I was walking through a village in Ireland, not far from a cliff my mother and father would take me to look at the amazing view when I was younger, I stumbled in a small pub. I forgot what it was called but anyway, I went in and sat down at the bar. A waiter came. His name was Ryan. He told me he remembered me from school and that he was a Slytherin from my year. I said I didn't recognize him but he said he was always shy so that's probably why," Remus turned and he was laying on his back again, his eyes closed as he talked about his past.

"We started talking and soon, I was coming to the pub not to drink, but to talk and spend time with Ryan. We became friends."

Dora started brushing her fingers through Remus's hair. "And did-did he know about your lycanthropy?"

Remus nodded. "I told him soon, even before we became friends. I wanted him to know what he as talking to."

Dora flinched as her fiancé used the word 'what' instead of 'who'.

"He was fine with it immediately, for which I was very thankful for. So, we spent even more time together and I realized how happy I felt with him. He made me stop drinking and made me realize I wasn't guilty for James and Lily's death."

"Then, New Years came. We were in the pub, dancing with some other people we met and when the clock hit 12pm, I found myself kissing Ryan. And that's when I realized I was in love with him. He realized it too and we started dating."

Dora smiled, but Remus couldn't see it.

"What happened then?"

"We were together for a few months. I really loved spending time with him. He reminded me of James and Sirius. He was shy at the beginning, but as I got to know him, I noticed he was just as much as a Marauder as we were. He was really fun and took me to some great spots outside the village where we would spend hours and hours just talking and enjoying each other's company. We would watch the sunsets in each other's arms. He made me feel happy and loved and-and like I actually had a reason to live after..." Remus let out a breath. Dora placed a kiss on his forehead.

"What happened next? I mean, how did you two break up?" she asked quietly. The wind was starting to blow and she shivered, so Remus wrapped his arms around her, placing her head on his chest, right over his heart.

"Well, Ryan always wanted to be a healer, he loved helping people, you see. And he was only missing one N.E.W.T. to get into training. But he didn't want anything else, so his uncle gave him a job at the pub. Then, one day when we were talking while he was working, he got an owl. It was the training. He got in, somehow. Apparently, there was missing applicants for that year and since he was very close to getting in a few years before, they decided to give him a chance."

"I didn't know that was possible," Dora said.

"Me neither," said Remus. "I think Ryan had a friend who worked as a Healer and he recommended him, saying how good he was and that he always wanted to work as a Healer."

Dora looked up at Remus and gave him an encouraging smile. She saw how hard it was for Remus to talk about this.

"At first, Ryan and I managed to continue with our relationship while he was in training. But eventually, it all became too much for him. He had to study a lot and he had no time for me and our relationship just started slowly collapsing, I saw Ryan was trying as hard as he could to find time for me but he just couldn't do it. I sort of became a distraction that was always on the back of his mind. So... I ended it. He was shocked at first, of course, but I explained why and he said he agreed."

Remus took a deep breath as he felt tears prickle in his eyes.

"I was terribly sad I had to do that, but we both knew it was best. I mean, this was Ryan's biggest dream and I couldn't bother him with my transformations and everything. He was sad, too. But, I'm glad we ended it in a sort of happy mood – that it didn't end with a fight and anger. We said goodbye and... and shared one last kiss. I left. It was dark at night. And that was the last time I saw him," Remus whispered as tears began to slide down his cheeks. Dora wiped them away with her gentle fingers.

"I'm so sorry, Remus," she said into the fabric of his sweater.

"No, it's fine, Dora, really. As I said, I'm glad it ended well. I heard recently he is one of the best Healers in the country, I'm very proud of him and happy I left when I did. I just remembered how hard it was to do that, then. I got depressed again. I missed him a lot. I just missed someone who loved me for who I am," he sniffed.

Remus felt Dora was crying as well. He cupped her face and kissed away her tears. "It's okay, I'm fine now that I've got you."

"Anyone else, after him?"

"No, not really. I mean, there were a few short relationships but nothing worth mentioning, I think."

She nodded, but still Remus saw some kind of uncertainty on her face.

"What is it? You can ask me whatever you want, sweetheart."

"I... do-do you still love him? Ryan," she whispered reluctantly and looked into his eyes.

Remus smiled. "No, Dora. I don't. When I fell in love with you, I realized I never loved anyone as much as I love you, my sweet girl. Not even Ryan. In fact, I think the old Remus from back then thought I was crazy about him and I thought I would never move on. But now, I think it was because I was really low at that time, and he was the first person who made me happy in a long time. That doesn't mean I didn't love him, though, I did, but..."

"I understand," she smiled and he smiled back.

"So," Remus said cheerfully, "now that we've gone through my entire love life, I think it's your turn, darling."

Dora laughed and hugged him, placing a kiss on his neck."

"I would really like to, believe me, but-" she checked his wrist-watch, "it's past midnight and I have to get up early tomorrow and I need sleep," she got up and held her hands to Remus. "And since the full moon is coming up, I think you need it, too."

Remus smiled up at her and got up as well. Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed her under the stars.

"A story for next time," she said against his lips as they broke apart.

"Next time it is."