In the early morning hours or late night hours, depending on how one regarded them, Hope Valley was quiet. A peaceful darkness permeated the small town's homes as its inhabitants slumbered, yet beyond the saloon windows, a solitary light cast a somber glow on a solitary man.

Long after the music stopped, the laughter ceased, and the clang of toasting glasses, the cavernous interior of the saloon was filled with oppressive silence, save the soft clunk of his whiskey glass. Lucas wasn't a drinker, but several sips into his liquid oblivion, he almost imagined the party was still in swing around him.

Almost.

The decorations half-hung like he half-hung onto reality and hope in that hour. Or hours. Because it had been several hours since he glanced out that window to see Elizabeth and Nathan facing each other, holding hands. Maybe he had imagined it, but the glint of her rings under the constable's fingers met Lucas' startled, sad eyes. He had looked away, had stolen away into his office for the remainder of the party.

Some part of him hoped Elizabeth would knock on his office door like she had a few weeks ago. In his safe haven of books, knickknacks from his travels, and carefully selected furnishings, Lucas had poured himself the first glass of whiskey. Now, seated at the end of the bar like many a lonely patron he had witnessed over the past three years, he nursed his growing hopelessness and tried to cover his internal wounds.

Lucas' mind drifted back to the church, to the wedding. A joyous occasion, a wedding. A celebration and all the reason to have hope, to listen to Bible verses about love, kindness, and patience. His lips curved slightly upward into a ghost of a smile when he recalled the look of understanding shared between them during that part of the ceremony.

But that smile now died because Lucas wondered if he understood Elizabeth at all.

As his lips touched the rim of his glass, he closed his eyes and traveled to the recent past. The glass morphed into the brush of Elizabeth's rings and her soft skin as he kissed her hand. The air had grown thick in that shared moment, almost tugging them together in his office.

Since then, invisible forces had been tugging them apart...or so it seemed. His perfect patience had forced him to keep his mouth closed, to refrain from asking too much.

"But why, Elizabeth?" he asked an empty room, his heart so full.

His love boiled over and evaporated away, leaving a broken vessel. Good for nothing, holding nothing.

He took one last gulp of whiskey and allowed it to burn all the way down. Lucas welcomed the pain and squeezed his eyes shut, yet a rebel tear leaked the agony he tried to hide.

xxx

Lucas blinked, a beam of sunlight filtering in through the window blinding him. He raised his head from his crossed arms on the bartop, realizing he'd fallen asleep. Stretching his arms above his head, he tried to relieve the stiffness. With a slight shake of the head, he forced himself to his feet, memories from the previous night playing like a record on a broken Victrola.

His head spun, as did the room. Lucas stared at the half-empty whiskey bottle on the counter as his head pounded just behind his eyes. He stowed the bottle behind the bar and vowed never to drink again.

He retrieved his pocket watch and took note of the early hour, just past sunrise. It was Sunday. Joseph Canfield would be holding the first official worship service the town had had in years.

Lucas checked the front doors to ensure they were locked and exited through the back, not wishing to draw attention to himself. As the gravel crunched under his polished shoes, he supposed no one would be up and about this early, especially on a Sunday. He wondered if Elizabeth was awake, perhaps writing her next great novel or reading.

Last he knew, she'd been reading Virginia Woolf again. Image upon image flooded Lucas' memory bank as he walked home. Elizabeth smiled-no, beamed-at him across the table in Union City as they shared glasses of Chateau d'Orange and dined on mushrooms so divine, even they devoured them. With a melancholy smile on Lucas' face, Elizabeth's question from that night over a year ago echoed in his mind: "So you plan to be patient...like your father?"

"I have always had faith that I would know the perfect woman for me when I met her. And I will wait as long as I have to to win her heart."

As those words that seemed from another lifetime faded, another small smile flitted to his face. That Elizabeth was reading an author known for her avant-garde writing style, stream of consciousness, and Lucas' brain was firing away at a hundred miles a minute proved another reminder to his weary mind.

When he arrived at his door, Lucas closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and told himself the lie that he wouldn't think about Elizabeth again until he'd slept in a bed. His legs moved of their own volition. He had just enough time to remove his shoes, tie, and suit coat before he flopped into the bed's welcoming embrace.

At least something welcomes me, were his last thought before sleep won.

When he woke for the second time that day, Lucas wondered how one day could be so agonizingly long. The hour was past noon. Grateful Gustave had the saloon under control, the establishment didn't open until noon on Sundays, and Sundays were his day off, Lucas glanced at his pillow and seriously considered returning to his dreams. Although likely fantasies at this point, at least his dreams of a certain teacher were pleasant, if not teasing.

"Elizabeth," he murmured as his gaze fell on a picture of his parents on his bedside table.

Had she attended the church service? They hadn't discussed the matter yesterday, but Ned and Florence's wedding had taken up the town's attention, including Elizabeth's.

Lucas stepped up to the window and gazed out at the forest and the mountains in the background. Although he didn't pray often, words tumbled from his lips as he took in God's creation.

"God, I want her to be happy, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to experience that happiness with her. Maybe…" He paused, swallowing down the possible hard truth. "Maybe I'm not the one to give her that happiness. If it's not your will…" Lucas shook his head, unable to complete that thought.

He turned from the window and pressed forward into the day. Feeling refreshed a little while later, he looked himself over in the floor mirror, adjusted his tie, and ran a hand through his hair. She said he looked very handsome yesterday. She, as always, had been beautiful. Yet somehow, that overused word failed to convey Elizabeth.

All summer, Elizabeth had pursued him. She had held his hand, perhaps not knowing she also held his heart. She had come to him time and time again to share her feelings and express her thoughts. Lucas' lips forced the first true smile that day as hope ignited.

With renewed vigor, Lucas got into his car. Thoughts of what to say to the woman he loved raced through his mind, much faster than he could drive his car through town to her house. Last night's hopelessness was a figment of his imagination, the woes of a man who'd had one drink too many.

A few minutes later, Lucas came to the end of the rowhouses and stopped. One glance at Elizabeth's house was all it took. Tethered by the front door was Nathan's horse. Lucas and the animal locked eyes for a moment, then he whisked his gaze forward. His mouth turned downward. He drove away...into the countryside.

When he arrived at the bridge where they'd stopped during their joyful horse ride, Lucas got out of the car, slamming the door, rattling the whole vehicle. With no one but the trees to witness his undoing, he spun as his fingers dug into his hair, his nails grazing his scalp. His scream went up into the wilderness like a bird mourning the loss of its mate.

xxx

Lucas didn't pass Elizabeth's house during his drive home. He sat in his car, unsure what step to take next. One glance at his watch confirmed it was nearing three o'clock. Beyond a cup of tea and some toast, he hadn't eaten. With a sigh, he left the car and went inside.

After several minutes of pacing, he expected his shoes to wear through the floorboards. Too distracted to read, Lucas ran his hands through his hair until the man staring back at him in the mirror was a frazzled, frumpy version of the usually well-groomed gentleman.

"What are you doing?" he asked himself.

We were building something, he thought. All summer, we were together. I can't… I can't accept that Elizabeth would walk away so easily. I can't…

They could always talk before. Honesty was one of the cornerstones their relationship had been built upon.

"A hopeful romantic," Lucas scoffed. "Here I go."

He straightened his tie, smoothed down his clothes, and brushed his hair until he was presentable. Lucas walked through town with a new spring in his step, hoping that maybe his earlier outburst had gotten out his frustration.

How he hoped.

The door to the schoolhouse was open in the distance. Knowing the new school year would be starting soon, Lucas thought he'd take his chances on finding Elizabeth there.

A few minutes later, he stood on the threshold. Elizabeth worked near the blackboard with her back to him. She had decorated with a plethora of fall colors and paper leaves. As she struggled to hang a welcome banner, Lucas rapped on the doorframe.

When she didn't acknowledge him, Lucas sighed and entered. Maybe she didn't hear me, he thought.

"Elizabeth," he said as he approached. Lucas stopped shy of the desk and rested his hand next to the cowbell she used to summon the children.

She froze, then turned. "Lucas." Her attention returned to the banner.

Unable to read her face, Lucas pressed on, speaking in a rush. "You sure you don't wanna...take a break? Have lunch with me?" He moved to stand next to her.

She turned again, not meeting his gaze. "I can't, Lucas. I'm sorry." Her voice hung dull in the thick air.

Elizabeth went back to the welcome sign, holding one end, not quite tall enough to hang it.

Lucas stepped in immediately and took the end. "Here. Allow me."

They briefly faced one another, so close, yet so far away. Lucas tried to catch her eye, but she averted her gaze and walked away.

"I'm not very good company right now. I'm sorry," she said to his back.

Lucas straightened the letters on the banner. "You're working. I understand." His fingers felt like they wouldn't work right as he moved "B-A-C-K" into place. "I just… I thought I'd come by on a whim." He spun around, only to see her looking out the door at Nathan riding his horse in the distance

She faced him, her face a conflicting array of emotion. "Lucas, the reason I left the wedding early…"

He blinked, staring intently at her, wondering where this conversation was going. His heart sped up, and his empty stomach tightened.

"...I asked Nathan if he would step outside with me so I could tell him that I don't blame him for Jack's death."

Ah, there it is, he thought. The truth, at least. Still… Lucas forced a tight smile, nodded stiffly, and plunged his hands into his pockets. "Why didn't you come back inside after? I had no intention of bringing this up." His shoulders worked up and down, tension running through every part of him. "You didn't even say goodbye." His voice cracked. Another false smile tugged at his lips as he tried to cover up his pain.

Elizabeth didn't even meet his eyes. "I don't know why I… Nathan and I..."

Before Lucas had a second to contemplate what was wrong with the woman he loved, Minnie entered. "He's back."

Elizabeth turned to her.

"The school inspector," Minnie added.

Elizabeth pivoted back to Lucas. Her mouth opened and closed like she was about to say something, her face hopeless.

"I'll let you two talk." Lucas painted on the ever-polite smile. "Minnie." He left as fast as his feet would carry him.

And kept walking. So, Elizabeth had forgiven Nathan. That was fine, more than fine, but why were her eyes on the Mountie, her hands in his the night before? Lucas suspected that between school starting and news of the school inspector in town, Elizabeth's mind was elsewhere. Add to that Jack's death being brought to the forefront of her memory by Nathan's revelation about Fort Clay and Lucas didn't know where he stood in her thoughts anymore.

Glancing back at the schoolhouse, Lucas almost couldn't believe he'd held both of her arms and reassured her that he would always be there for her. That was in the same place he'd just left. He wondered if all this time, all these months-no, years-he had been mistaken about Elizabeth.

The gnawing pit of hunger could no longer be ignored, so with heavy resignation, Lucas headed to the saloon.