Just for tonight
What if you could wish me away
What if you spoke those words today
I wonder if you'd miss me when I'm gone?
What if you could hear this song
She had asked him, no... told him. That just for tonight, just tonight she wanted to feel better. Her doe eyes pleading with him. Wade couldn't think, his mind blank. His eyes glued on her. Without looking back, he hung his tool belt on the railing of her bannister. Mindlessly following his heart's desire to be with her in any capacity she needed him to. For their hearts were hurting and aching as one. How could he deny her, what he couldn't deny himself?
And for one last night. One last time, they were one. Their connection, fire and urgency aflame once more. Their hurt, longing and anger came together in one night of passion.
Their bodies, minds and racing hearts were connected, under the bright light of the full moon filtering through the open windows.
Both staring in each other's eyes as they joined as one.
Wishing the pain between them had never come to exist. Wishing for forgiveness and for love to blossom once more. But neither of them could muster the strength. And so they merely basked in their closeness.
She had curled into him after. Cradling her head in his neck as she had always done. As if nothing had changed between them. Silence fell between them as he wrapped her in his arms and she clung to his chest. She felt his tears falling into her hair, his chest heaved as he tried to compose himself and stop the torrent of tears.
Her composure broke as she sobbed against him.
It's come to this, release me
He laid a kiss against her forehead and closed his eyes as his heart hurt painfully in his chest.
Her sobbing had stopped, her breathing had quieted down. He blinked the last of his tears away.
Her hair tickled his nostrils, but he paid it no heed. Her hair splayed over his chest as his arms encompassed her body. His hand resting on her naked hip. He glanced down to look at her tiny hand splayed across his broken heart as she slept.
He swallowed and brushed the hair from her face. He tried to engrain her every beautiful feature in his memory.
I'll leave before the dawn
But for tonight I'll stay here with you
Yes for tonight I'll lay here with you
He loved her. He knew as much now. He loved her more than he could ever love himself.
He glanced at her long eyelashes, her reddened eyelids, her beautiful eyes hiding behind them.
He looked up at the ceiling, letting out a breath before he glanced back to the one… the one who had changed everything. Who would forever hold a piece of his heart wherever their lives would take them.
I loved you in the moonlight
So for tonight I'll stay here with you
Nothing in his life would ever be the same again. Regret washed over him as he glanced at her fireplace, where she had tried to burn his belongings. Maybe one day she would be able to forgive him.
Maybe one day he could forgive himself for messing up the best thing that ever happened to him.
I could've treated you better, better than this
His eyes fell on her suitcase in the corner of the room. He'd caught word that she was invited to a wedding in New York. But he never wanted to believe she would consider going. Bluebell was her home.
Zoe was his home. Even though she wasn't his anymore. She would always be his home.
What if I felt like I belong
She stirred in her sleep. Her hand that lay across his heart moved away and splayed across his abdomen. Gently, he laid his hand on top of hers. Caressing her fingers slowly. He lifted her hand with his larger one and brought it to his mouth. He gingerly laid kisses all over her fingers. He moved his lips to her palm.
His lips softly whispered "I'll always love you," against her palm. As if her hand could catch his words and would keep them with her forever.
He placed her hand back over his aching heart.
He looked sideways to glance at the alarm clock. Time was funny that way. Tonight had passed. They were approaching dawn with each beating heartbeat between them. The dawn would bring back reality. The harsh truth of the mess he made. The painful reality that it was just for tonight.
He didn't feel better. He felt worse as he swept his hand over her cheek. He knew he had to leave. He had to be the one to set her free. His mind knew, but his heart begged him to stay.
He couldn't face leaving her. Hurting her all over. Yet he couldn't face her dismissal in the morning either. Nor was he ready to forgive himself. By the time the sun would be peeking through her windows, he would be gone.
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do
He turned onto his side and he drank her in. One last tear escaped as he kissed her cheeks, and forehead. He whispered silent promises into her hair. He pulled her against him briefly. She had always fit so perfectly in his arms.
Perfect against his body as if they were made for each other.
Gently, he rolled her onto her back. She looked peaceful. Angelic even. He propped himself onto his elbow to watch her. He ignored the dawn approaching through the open window as he stared at her. Prolonging his solitude goodbye to her.
Yes for tonight I'll lay here with you
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do
Wade didn't look back at her as he forced himself from her bed. Away from her.
He didn't look at her as he got dressed.
With his eyes strained determinedly on his destination across the pond, he wavered. He looked back at her over his shoulder. He was unable to move as the moonlight lit up her frame from the open doorway where he stood. "I'm so sorry Zoe." He whispered into the silence. "For everything."
I'll leave before the dawn
Quietly, he stepped out onto the porch and closed her door.
I might be leaving oh so soon
Began the night believing
I loved you in the moonlight
But when the sun hits your eyes
Through your window
There'll be nothing you can do
Sleep never came for Wade. He watched the dawn color the sky with beautiful colors. He could no longer stay indoors as the tiny town slowly began to wake. And so he sought solitude at the water's edge of one of the more secluded ponds in Bluebell.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, he stared across the water at the dock he sat. The early sunlight shimmering on the water's surface. Regret washed through his body and wrapped tightly around his heart where it settled painfully.
He looked up as a familiar voice called his name into the silence. He searched for the source and quickly found it.
His friend, mayor and neighbour stood behind him. His expression set as they stared at each other.
Wade didn't get up. He couldn't get up. He looked back at the water as he felt his friend approach him from behind. Lavons large hand fell upon his shoulder as soon as he reached him.
Wade opened his mouth a few times, before he managed to speak.
"She left, didn't she." It wasn't a question. A rhetorical question Zoe would have called it. He always knew what rhetorical meant.
A question that had an obvious answer. "A mere statement of facts." She had told him.
XxxX
The end
I know this is so different to what I've ever written. But I love the song "What if" by Josua Radin and to me, it felt like it was just made for 2x21. Also the song really makes me feel things.
I'd appreciate a review so much, even though this is a one shot.