A Caskett One shot
Breakup Memories
"Kate, Kate Beckett."
She hears her name being called and looks around to see where it was coming from. She had stopped by to pick up some of their favorite coffee as they were all out of it and this coffee shop sold it. The shop itself was just blocks away from the loft, so on her way back from her run, she had stopped by to get the coffee.
As she looks around the coffee shop she spots at a near by table a familiar face. One she had not seen in years. It was the beautiful face of Mariel Davidson, the only sister of her ex, one Josh Davidson.
She goes to the table and speaks to her, "Mariel, so great to see you, it's been years."
"When you came to the register to pay, I thought I knew you, and then when you turned, I was certain it was you. Kate you look well, it's been what, two years?"
"More like three years! And how have you been? Still working at that investment firm off Wall Street?"
"Yes, and you, still at the twelfth? Come join me for a coffee, my treat."
Kate seats herself at Mariel's table.
"Yes still at the twelfth, in fact, I just got promoted to Detective Lieutenant."
"Wow that is great to hear you are moving up."
There is an awkward silence after Kate's response. None of them wants to bring up the subject, until Mariel breaks the silence.
"Josh is now permanently based in Africa. He became an officer for DWB and heads their African program. Doesn't pay as much as when he was just doctoring, but he loves the job. He still manages to get in the field. He oversees some half a dozen field hospitals in Africa. Some of those hospitals he helped to establish."
"He was always motivated to give to the under developed countries the kind of health care found in the more industrialized and developed countries. I am glad he continues to follow his passion."
"He is still single. Josh never has gotten over you. He still carries a torch Kate."
Kate is embarrassed by the comment. She feels awkward from Mariel's comment. Her long forgotten guilt on the breakup now surfaces. She tries to hide it. Then realizing that a few strands of her hair had fallen to cover her face, she hopes it hid part of her facial reaction to Mariel's comment. She uses her finger to push the loose strands back behind her one ear. As she does that, Mariel notices the ring.
"Is that an engagement ring I see Kate? It is lovely and so big, must have cost a fortune. I see that you have moved on. Who is the lucky man? Let me guess, Rick Castle?"
Kate knew how close Mariel was to Josh, and how Josh confided in his sister. He often consulted with Mariel on his relationship issues with Kate. She knew this when after her breakup with Josh, Mariel had called Kate to ask her to reconsider her breakup with him. She had told Kate then that Josh had asked her advice on their relationship. Kate once again feels the guilt she had for staying too long with Josh, causing him more pain then should have been.
"It just happened a few months back Mariel. I was not dating anyone for a long time after I broke up with Josh. It was not a rebound thing for us", Kate says, revealing this to Mariel, like she owed Mariel an explanation for moving on from her brother Josh.
"How could it not be. He was your partner for years before Josh met you. We, his family, always thought you were the right one for him. But Josh confided in me that he felt like the odd man out when he was around you and Rick. He had developed a jealous streak when it came to Rick Castle. He never had that with past girlfriends. He was always confident in his relationships. You were the only one however who lasted longer than his usual six months. So we really thought you were the one he would finally be with."
Kate is silent for a while, getting her thoughts together so her response could comfort Mariel about the breakup with her brother.
"Mariel, I never meant to hurt him, but I stayed with him too long. I should have ended it months before, but I had great affection for Josh. That made it harder to break up with him. I knew however what I felt for Josh was not love. I had to break up with him before it became too serious for him."
What she did not say to Mariel was that the sex was also good and that Josh filled that need. That is until Kate realized that Josh was just a place holder for Castle. She had realized this during one night of passion with Josh when she had almost called out Rick's name and not Josh's as she climaxed. She had been thinking about Rick for days before that night and when Josh made love to her, she had tried to show Josh how much she cared; tried to make up for thinking of Rick while she was with Josh.
She had to bite down hard on her lip to stop herself from calling out Rick's name. Had it happened, it would have been more devastating for Josh and more mortifying for her. She realized then she could no longer keep up this pretense that Josh was the one. Rick Castle owned her heart and there was only room for one man in her heart.
"He loved you Kate. Josh thought you were the one he could spend a lifetime with. But he was concerned because DWB took him away from you for months on end. He knew that Rick Castle meant more to you than you let on. Josh knew that a continued relationship would only work if you were physically with him. But Josh knew you would not give up your passion for justice to be with him in his overseas assignments. He was always concerned that in his absence, Rick Castle filled the void. In the end, he accepted that he would always be second in your heart to Rick Castle. Josh was never more insecure with a past girlfriend like he was with you."
"I am sorry how we ended it, Mariel. But Josh deserved more than I could give him. I thought it was the best thing I could do to stop from hurting him further."
"I do not blame you Kate. In your shoes, I would have probably done the same. So, when is the actual date?"
"We haven't decided. We are still taking it slow, more for my sake than his."
Mariel sees the love for Rick Castle in Kate's face and then says, "It took you long enough to realize you loved Rick Castle. Josh saw it, but hoped that with time he could replace your love for Rick with a greater love for him. But Josh never had the time for you. It was always in the back of Josh's mind that one day you would have this realization of how much Rick Castle really meant to you. When it would happen, Josh would be not be around to make you feel otherwise. He knew when it happened, he would be forgotten. Rick would be there in his place. Josh had experienced a similar past breakup involving another woman, but it happened after she cheated on him with the man she denied meant more to her than my brother. Because of that one relationship, I think Josh was subconsiously happy that the breakup was not due to your cheating on him. Yours was a kind way to end it. When you broke up with Josh, he knew that epiphany about Rick had finally come to you."
What Mariel did not know, and had no knowledge of, was the admission by Rick that he loved her even when she was still with Josh. Rick had told her as she lay dying in his arms from being shot at Montgomery's funeral. That had given her even more reason to break it off with Josh. So the day she was discharged from the hospital, she had the talk with Josh. It was heated, Josh asked her if she had cheated on him with Rick. Kate was never more hurt by that, by the question Josh had asked . Had he known her so little and had so little trust in her as to suspect her of cheating? She had denied it of course, but could see the doubt in Josh's eyes, even as Josh told her he loved her. Now she knew why. Josh had been cheated on before and that had affected their relationship and explained much about his lack of confidence with her. It also explained his jealousy of Rick.
"I am glad you told me this. For years I had this guilt that I had lead Josh on, that I had not ended it soon enough with him, to stop his pain. I have always wanted Josh to find the right woman and still do."
"It will take time Kate. Josh considered you his one great love. It will take another more extraordinary woman to fill that place in his heart. There is hope for that, however. The last time I talked to Josh he mentioned he had a date with one of the OR nurses. The sound of his voice was encouraging."
"I pray it works out for him."
They finished their coffee and then did their goodbyes.
"Will I get an invitation to the wedding?" asks Mariel.
"You both will, but we will send Josh's to your address as his address is a moving target."
"Good call Kate." She hugs Kate and then walks away.
For Kate, it was hard seeing her walk away. Their talk had brought back so many memories. She knew tonight's pillow talk with Rick would be a tough one, but she needed to tell him about this unexpected meeting with Mariel.
That Night
"I am glad you told me Kate. That must have been hard. I know how much Josh meant to you."
"What Josh never knew was that he had been a rebound."
"Oh, yes, you had broken up with Demming when I got back."
"It wasn't Demming."
"What?"
"It was you Rick."
"How could that be? We were not even a couple then, you were with Demming."
"I had just broke up with him before you showed up with Gina. I was going to tell you I had feelings for you and wanted to take you up on your invite to the Hamptons."
Then it comes to Rick, "So I show up with Gina, and ruined the moment."
"You could not know what happened. I realized too late that I wanted you, but you had moved on with Gina."
"No Kate, I only asked Gina because I was hurting. You rejected my invitation a couple times and I was feeling so bad about it. Gina was a way to forget that rejection. We could have avoided the whole Josh Thing had it gone the other way!"
"I think it was the universe making us realize how much we wanted each other, but were just too afraid to admit it to one another."
"It took you getting shot for me to admit it!"
"And I denied knowing it for a year or more before the dam broke and I could no longer deny that I loved you."
"Look at us being so ridiculous when all it took was for us to be honest with one another. It is sad that things worked out the way it did because not of us could admit our feelings on the matter. Tell you what, let's make up for lost time!"
"You're on lover boy! We have a lot to make up for."
"Man, Kate, lover MAN."
"Oh and don't I know it", she tells him as she straddles him.
"You mean to have your way with me tonight, huh, Kate! Am I that easy?"
"You know you never can resist me when I'm in the mood and am I ever in the mood!"
"Maybe you should met with Mariel more often?"
"She was just the spark. The fuel was already there. Now shut up and show your fiance how much she means to you."
What followed was a session like no other. Each going at it like they had something to prove to one another. Each knowing that what they had together survived all the bumps in the road to get to where they were at now. They would never be apart. No matter what happened in their future, they knew they would overcome it. The path they had taken had showed them that they were meant to be. It was a bond like no other.
They got to the 12th a little late the next morning.