Warning: I've never ever ever written before; fanfiction or otherwise. This is my first time. Please go easy on me if it's bad.

Full summary: MerDer AU. Inspired by the movie The Proposal. Meredith Grey is Seattle Grace's resident bitch. Or unstoppable attending-neurosurgeon bitch for that matter. And a shoo-in to become the head of the neurosurgery department. The position would've been in her hands by now if Derek Shepherd, her mortal enemy and rival, wasn't in her way. When her promising promotion ends up compromised by a deportation issue, she resorts to desperate measures to stay in the country- even if that means teaming up with her nemesis to convince the hospital, her boss, his family, and the entire US immigration system that she is Derek Shepherd's head-over-heels-in-love fiancée.

Chapter 1: Tongue Tied

"C'mon, Wilson! Please, I'll do anything. All your post-ops for three months. No, six months," he offered, anxiously darting back and forth between the clock and Jo Wilson's eyes waiting for her answer. Rounds started in five minutes and he was beyond desperate. He was just about ready to get on his knees and kiss her shoes.

She looked at him with no remorse. "Not even if you did my post-ops for the rest of residency, Shane. I'd be the dumbest intern on the planet if I traded you warm and nurturing McDreamy for the Wicked With of the West."

Shane Ross cringed. The nickname was definitely apt. "You don't even wanna specialize in Neuro! If I'm gonna be a brain surgeon, I need a mentor, not someone who could turn me to stone when I look at her," he whispered loudly, spotting Meredith Grey approaching the nurses' station to claim her intern for the day.

"Not my problem! Being on her service makes me question not just my medical career, but my entire life's existence. She's all yours," she said quickly with an evil smile, turning to busy herself with her attending's patient charts so she wouldn't have to look at Dr. Grey in the eyes.

Meredith Grey strode in the lobby already dressed in her navy scrubs and wavy blonde hair bound up in a messy low bun, her sharp green eyes fixated on the screen of her phone. Walking in without even looking up, nurses and orderlies scurried off her path for fear of being in her way. She could feel a path clearing in front of her and smirked inwardly knowing how much power her mere presence held. Meredith Grey, in a word, was intimidating. In other words? Mean. Actually, terrifying-at least to every new batch of interns. Cold? Definitely, but never to her patients. She was mostly intimidating. Rightly so because her skills were beyond this century. She always knew her shit and expected nothing less than extraordinary. Although she was never friendly enough to waste her time chatting about the weather, she was courteous enough to say please and thank you. She barely crossed lines with her colleagues and was mostly only professional enough to strike conversations only about consults or surgeries. Of course, courtesy and professionalism threw themselves completely out the window when faced with a certain black-haired, blue-eyed, arrogant walking Ken doll.

"Which one of you is with me today?" the blonde's eyebrow quirked up, still only looking at her phone reading a message from the chief. 'Be at my office immediately after rounds.' "Ummmm, I, uh, I am, Dr. Grey," Ross stammered, clearing his throat and hoping the ground would just swallow him whole. "Surgeons don't say 'um', Dr. Ross. Stop murmuring and speak up" she berated, looking up to see her intern wiping his sweaty palms on his scrub pants.

All of a sudden, a chill ran up Meredith's spine. She groaned. It's like she had a damn radar for when he was in the vicinity.

"Terrorizing the interns again, Grey?" a smooth voice that walked up from behind teased, registering as nails on a chalkboard to Meredith's ears. Her jaw clenched as she closed her eyes and slowly let out a deep annoyed sigh. Count to 10, Meredith. Calm down. Keep it in. Make sure there aren't any sharp objects around so you don't stab him in the eyeball.

"Just trying to do my job and toughen them up, Shepherd. You should try it sometimes instead of hogging the attendings' lounge in the mornings and turning it into a hair salon," she said, her teeth gritting against each other. It's too early in the morning for this shit, McAsshole.

When Derek Shepherd first waltzed in the halls of Seattle Grace three years ago, spewing out charm and dreaminess, his timing couldn't have been more perfect. Meredith knew she was just about to be handed the keys to the Neurosurgery Department's kingdom since Dr. Nelson had decided to retire. But when Derek phoned his old mentor from New York saying he was looking for a change of scenery, Richard Webber took him in in a heartbeat with a potential offer Derek couldn't refuse. When he arrived all moussed-up and neurogod-like, Richard couldn't decide who would be more fit to run the department, Meredith or Derek. He decided to go with interim heads while they both try to sell their case for the next six months.

Well, six months turned into a year when their constant attempts to one-up each other did more harm than good: arguing in front of patients and stealing each other's cases. A year turned into two after Richard decided they needed to mature up after hearing about how Derek had been bribing the coffee cart to give Meredith only decaf and Meredith had been sneaking into his office to hide his lucky scrub caps because he refused to operate without them. Two stretched into three where things got so heated thanks to the McEnemies learning of the point system competition the other doctors had created for them, turning their cat-and-mouse game into a source of wild live entertainment. For three years, they've been sabotaging, bickering, and arguing like five-year-olds, and Richard was still out of a department head who could stay in position for more than months at a time.

He gave her an unamused look. "Whatever you say, Medusa," he whispered quietly under his breath, thinking she didn't hear him. He couldn't hold in the snort he let out when Ross tried not to smile at the nickname, earning him a nasty look from the tiny blonde to his right. "Hey, Wilson. Could you wait a couple minutes. I have to meet the chief before we round," he told his intern nicely before Meredith could give him a piece of her mind for his comment.

"Wait, what. Richard called you in too?" Shit. Did he finally make a decision about who's gonna be the department head?

Too? Derek thought, "No, I need to talk to him about the three-week leave I'm taking. I'm going to-"

"Quit?" She said too excitedly.

"No, I'm going home to-"

"Yeah, don't care," Meredith interrupted. "Ross, let's go."

Meredith resented Derek. He was, after all, the reason her promotion was pulled out from under her. But she irked him just as much as he irked her. She hated how chatty and uppity he was. He hated how snarky and serious she could be. He hated that her talent caused him to dial down his ego a peg or two. When Richard said over the phone that the head position was between him and another candidate, he assumed he could blow this other person out of the water as soon as he landed in Seattle. He thought he was the Neurogod, after all. But when he met her, he had finally met his match. She was a force. Talented, intelligent, surgical royalty, and not to mention easy on the eyes.

Of course, Derek wouldn't be caught dead admitting that now. Not when their despise for each other ran too deep. She was initially unfazed by his charisma and flirting that usually had people wrapped around his finger, and that just never sat right with him.

After rounds, Meredith walked up to the chief's office hopeful. Derek asking for a leave and him calling her in? This had to be it.

"Dr. Grey. Congratulations on your trial, I hear it's almost into its first official phase," Chief Webber said watching Meredith enter his office after knocking.

"Of course. The latest JAMA says it's going to be a milestone in surgical advancement," she said recounting the article proudly, "Seems like some pretty department-head material, hmm Chief?" Meredith hinted, causing Richard to smile sadly.

"Have a seat," he offered on a serious note that switched the mood of the room completely. "Meredith, the USCIS and your immigration lawyer called yesterday. Apparently, you never filled out some paperwork that they've been requesting so you could travel while your visa application was being reviewed. Aside from that, while your green card was being processed a few months ago, you left the country to go to that consult case in Mexico."

Meredith's eyebrows furrowed trying to recall anything about her paperwork. She was a full-time neurosurgeon who had a gigantic pain in the ass in the form of Derek Shepherd to deal with. She didn't have time to sort mail. "I... yes, that case was very advanced. I had to go. Someone's life was on the line. I'm one of the only few people on the West Coast who could perf-," she tried to explain.

"You went because according to your little competition with Shepherd. A traveling consult was 65 points. I'm the Chief, Meredith. I know what goes on in my hospital," he interrupted, looking at her knowingly. "Unfortunately, you left the country." She looked at him confused. "Okay, so? Yes, I'm fully aware Mexico is not in the US. But this was someone's life. I couldn't just-"

"Meredith, you aren't supposed to leave the country while on a processing green card. Under any circumstances. Your request to become a US resident has been automatically terminated and you're being called to be deported back to Canada," he clarified, "You have to leave the country in the next 90 days," his hands rubbing his forehead. Here we go, he thought, knowing the impending explosion Meredith was going to cause.

Meredith stared at him speechless with her mouth wide open and brows furrowed for a good 15 seconds. Then... Boom. "Deported? Chief, this is fucking ridiculous," she finally let out and got up from her chair, "I'm a fucking doctor for god's sake. Saving lives. American lives, I might add. How ungrateful could your government be to deport someone dedicating their life to save others? God. No wonder why healthcare here is horseshit. Are you freaking kidding me? Are you serious? Jesus, It's freaking Canada for crying out loud! It's not like I'm some sort of terrorist! I collectively spent half my life in this goddamn country," she went on ranting as she paced back and forth his office.

Richard knew that she'd spent most of her time here. And her papers may say she's Canadian but her personality was definitely 100% American. After a few more suggestions about which body orifices immigration policies can shove themselves into, he interrupted her colorful tirade, "Look, I'm desperate to have you stay. You know how much I cared for your mother and you. But Grey, until you can sort this out, you can't work for an American hospital. My hands are tied," he finalized. "Chief, Vancouver is literally 2 hours away from Seattle. This is hardly practical. I technically spent most of my time growing up in the US. I have nothing there!"

"Look, sort all this out when as soon as possible in Canada and come back. We'll always have a place for you here. You have 90 days to leave but you'll have to visit HR today to process your termination and assign over your patients. Of course, this unfortunately means you forfeit your promotion to Shep-,"

"NO!" her fists pounded on the table and her eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. "Hold on a damn minute, I ca-"

A soft knock interrupted Meredith followed by none other than Derek Shepherd's head shyly popping through the doorway. "Oh, sorry. I just...uhhh, left my pager. I really need it," he said apologetically, sensing the tension in the room. He cringed as the heads turned to face him, Meredith's green eyes glaring into his very soul. As he tried to slowly creep in the room, eyes already fixated on his pager on the table, a lightbulb flashed on top of Meredith's head.

Meredith took his pager from the table, slipping it into her pocket right before his outstretched arm could, and reached out to lock Derek's arm in hers. She held onto it so tightly and smiled sweetly at him, discreetly showing him her pleading and desperate eyes as his confused ones met hers; her hard grip around his arm telling him to shut up and play along.

"Chief, Dr. Shepherd and I actually have something to tell you," she started with Derek just standing beside her voiceless and holding in a yelp from the increasingly tightening hold on his arm. "We've been keeping this...thing hush for a while now but, uh, D-Derek and I, and...me, us...we are engaged!" she squeaked with the fakest enthusiasm she could muster. "We are actually getting married!" bumping her hip slightly against the man beside her, signaling for him to speak up.

Derek blinked a couple of times before registering what to say," Yeap! Yeah, yeah. Grey-um, Meredith and I are...yes," he chuckled nervously as he stammered, nodding at the Chief, "I didn't know we were telling anyone, sweet...heart...ie, ehem, sweetie?" he said looking at Meredith with his face crumpled but still trying to force a smile.

The chief looked at them both carefully and whatever utter fucking bullcrap they were pulling seemed to work because "Outstanding! Meredith! Derek! I knew something was going on with you two," Richard grinned ear to ear, standing up to shake Derek's hand. "Congratulations! Wow, you two really had the entire hospital fooled but I should've known it was an act. You two didn't have to pretend so hard to hate each other, you know? Oh, Were you worried about HR? Yeah, I definitely would've understood."

They both chuckled nervously, Derek running his fingers through his thick hair so hard, he might've pulled a couple strands off. "Oh, you know, we just wanted to keep our little love story to ourselves for now," Meredith explained while choking back on a little vomit.

"So, Chief. We...good here?"

"Yes, absolutely. I'll call the lawyer and get your needed papers ready," his hands held up in relief. "I'm very excited for you two. Amazing." He crossed the table to kiss Meredith's cheek. She was always someone he always saw as family. She smiled with guilt at Richard while pulling Derek with her to the exit and letting go of his arm as soon as she shut the chief's door.

"What the actual fuck?" he whispered loudly at her, his face distorted in every way possible, "Grey, what just fucking happened?" She groaned and grabbed his arm once again causing him to yelp, pacing quickly as she dragged him into his office which happened to be on the floor they were on. She shut the door and let out the breath she was holding in. "HELLO?!" Derek tried once again impatiently to get an explanation.

"Jesus, just let me catch my fucking breath okay?" she cried out, sitting on one of the chairs, fingers fiddling with one another. "They want to deport me. I can't go back to Canada, my entire life is in fucking Seattle. My dog, my friends, my research, my career, my entire future. And they were really just gonna drop me in the middle of nowhere?!" she panicked. God, she can't believe she was actually going to him for help. "Shepherd, they were going to send me back to Canada. Everything I had ever worked for might be disappearing. I am begging you right now...," she stood up slowly to face him.

He quirked his eyebrow with doubt instinctively. Years with Meredith Grey taught him to second guess everything she said. Like when she convinced him he took it too far one time when he teased how mommy probably got her into medical school. She pretended the comment brought up some traumatic feelings. He felt truly awful for days, softening up and going too easy on her whenever he'd see her beaten-down face. He'd then found out, as she snickered to Yang (one of her only friends), that she was only pretending to look so hurt so she could pull cases from under his nose.

But this time was different. Her eyes were glassy and desperate. Her shoulders were tense. She sounded so helpless. She was desperate. She wouldn't be gunning for department head anymore, she would be even lucky just to stay in the country. Derek smirked, "So you're actually asking me for help?" he couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Ohhh, this is too precious," settling down on his office chair behind his desk with tears actually forming in his eyes. This was definitely the karma she got for telling the nurses he had erectile dysfunction.

She knew her idea was gonna bite her in the ass. "Look, what do you want?"

"Grey, I don't want anything," he snorted with a rugged smirk, "This is fraud and I am way too talented and good looking to go to jail. Not to mention that if this fails, you won't just be deported, you'll be blacklisted too," reminding her with just a teeny-tiny bit of genuine concern.

"It could work. Shepherd, I'm saying please here..." the defeated tone in her voice was slightly overcoming her usual confidence. "When have you ever known me to fail? We'll have a quickie wedding, get my papers, and be done with it. It'll work. I'll make it work," he knew she could make it happen.

He'd be a fool not to admit Meredith Grey was freakin intelligent. "And I know you don't have a girlfriend because no sane woman could ever put up with a man more in love with his ego, so it's not like you have a relationship on the line here," Meredith remarked, unable to hold her tongue. He gave her an incredulous look but ignored her comment knowing it was second-nature for her to insult him.

"You think it's that easy? There'll be interviews. Paperwork. They'll ask our families and co-workers. We can't even be in the same room without wanting to choke each other! And not the good kind of choking." he added inappropriately, "And after going through all that trouble, what do I even get out of this?" he remarked

This man was one hundred flavors of infuriating. "I asked what you wanted, didn't I? Forget to wear your hearing aid today, old man?" she quipped.

"I wanna be department head," he demanded, simply ignoring her insults again.

"What? I worked my ass off for years to fight for that job, I'm not just gonna hand it to you on a silver platter," she pointed out.

He nodded smugly. "Okay. Then you can go ahead and see yourself oot. Have a Timbit for me when you get back to your home and native land, eh?"

"Fuck. Fine. FINE," she agreed," It's fucking yours. I have other things to live for, unlike you. And you're going to give this your full cooperation. Nobody can find out this is a sham. We'll get...get married," she shuddered at the thought, "I'll become a citizen. We get divorced as soon as possible. I don't wanna have to fucking stay married to you and your ego for a second longer than I have to."

"Mm, yeah. You're so very welcome for the help, Mer. No, saving your life isn't going to be an inconvenience at all. It's not like I could go to jail for this because it's FRAUD" he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at her.

"Whatever. And don't call me Mer," was all she had to say.

Before she could leave his office, he had one more demand. "Hold up," he called standing in front of her once again. "You have to ask me to marry you," she looked at him like he was high, "Properly...Mer," he added with an arrogant smirk, "And I get to call you Mer." His eyes were sparkling blue at how happily victorious he felt at the moment holding all the power.

"You little jacka-" she stopped herself from throttling him. You can do this Meredith. Breath.

"Will you marry me," she said plainly, eyes dead, and with her fist clenched so hard, she could feel her nails digging into her palm. "Wow, okay. No," Derek responded unimpressed. "Nicely, Grey. We're about to be husband and wife!"

She stared at him now emotionlessly as she slowly got down on one knee, dead eyes never leaving his. He smiled at her amusedly, charmed by what was to come. And there goes my pride. She then mustered up everything in her to abruptly smile the sweetest sarcastic fake smile she could, "Sweet, darling Derek," she started. "Yes, Meredith?"

"Will you, pretty please with a cherry on top, do me the honor of marrying me?" she fluttered her lashes at him with her lips pursed into a smile on the outside but her teeth grinding so hard on the inside.

"Hmmmmmmmm...okay," he said pretending to think about it for a second," But I really don't appreciate the sarcasm." he laughed cockily walking back to his office chair. "See you around, honey," he blew her a pretend kiss as she got up and slammed his office door shut.

Meredith stood dumbfoundedly for a second outside of Derek's door, trying to quantify in her head how much of her pride did she just throw away...and it was only nine in the morning. Oh, that's right. All of it. She walked to the nearest on-call room, turned on the lights to make sure it was empty, grabbed a pillow, and slammed her face into it screaming until she felt like one of her lungs exploded. When she was done, she fixed her hair, straightened her scrubs, exited the on-call room, and splashed cold water on her face to get ready for her first surgery for the day.

A/N:

I finally got my MerDer endgame. Yay. Anyways, hello! I swear, publishing this is taking every bit of courage I have in me. So... Here it is. I actually saw someone write a fic on this movie plot as well but never finished it and even deleted it off of . It was sooo good too. I'm just doing my own version of it.

Please vote and review. I'd love to get your input. I won't be updating this until I reach a certain small number of reads or votes, but Chapter 2 is lined up and ready to go if this ever gets any reads at all.