CHAPTER 1

"An internship? Seriously?" I wound the phone cord around my hand, Molly's question still in my ear. "Molly, I don't know what to say!"

"Well, your mom said it would be helpful for your transcript, we have one more room on the bus. You can finish out your senior year with us."

I held the receiver to my shoulder and squealed silently, jogging in place. A rock tour. Traveling the country. Time with my cousins. Visiting my top schools. This was insane!

"Irene, my manager needs someone to help book shows," continued Molly. "Schedule rehearsals, keep the roadies in line. She's traveling a lot this year, back and forth to visit her oldest son. You'd have lots of time for your art. The only thing is, I don't know if you'd have a ton of room for your painting.

I took a deep breath and tried to act casual. "That um, that sounds neat. I think- I think I could do that."

Molly laughed on the other end. "You can't fool me, hon, I know you're dying to say yes. Here's Fi so you guys can yell at each other over the phone." Molly had always been the coolest. There was shuffling and clicks on the other end.

"Erika?" came Fi's voice.

"Fi?"

We started screaming.

"Oh my god!" we yelled.

"I can't wait to see you!" she said. "I have so much to tell you. I've discovered so much this year."

"Oh yeah?" I said grinning. I loved my baby cousin. We had a four year gap in our age, but I'd always felt close to her. The things she believed in were so weird, but I'd happily investigate with her if it meant more time together.

"Yeah, just this year I met a girl who could astral project, Clu got caught in a wormhole in this old guy's backyard…"

"Clu? That's your mom's manager's son right?"

"Yeah. He's Jack's best friend. He's on the bus too. And his older brother is going to visit soon. It's a full house, but it'll be amazing."

"I can't wait to see you."

"Here's mom, she has more details. I think she needs to hash them out with your mom."

I squeezed my eyes shut and pursed my lips. This was a dream come true, and I could still hardly believe it.

…

Hours after that glorious phone call, I was in my room painting. I had to get my energy out. I let my brush flow with the acrylic paint over the canvas, filling the spaces with shapes and circles and lines. I'd moved on from landscapes and been on a modern art kick lately, trying to capture the indescribable: my emotions. I felt proud of what I'd been able to depict- I just wasn't sure if anyone else would get it. This was my inner self after all.

At least if the work wasn't understood, it was popular. I'd been able to sell quite a few paintings at the coffee house downtown, and a gift shop. One of those places that smelled like candles and sold big sparkly jewelry and over-priced throw pillows.

I swirled the brush and jittered it on the canvas, creating a zigzagged pattern. My nerves at thinking about leaving my room, my home, my mom. But also the excitement of being on my own for the first time, traveling, having actual responsibility. Seeing Fi and Jack and Molly. And leaving my awful high school. What a gift.

There was a knock on my door. "Come in."

My mom pushed in with a glass of milk and a peanut butter sandwich. "Thought you might be hungry," she said, setting the plate down on my bed. She held the glass out to me, and I took a huge swig, licking the milk mustache off my top lip.

"Sorry, I just got carried away. What time is it?"

"Half past three."

No wonder my stomach was so empty.

She sat back on her hands on my comforter. "So, what do you think?" she asked. We hadn't really talked about the phone call yet, since I'd run straight up to my room, and Molly and Mom had been on the phone for hours.

"I want to do it. I'm nervous, but honestly… I need to get away."

Mom regarded me with a tilt of her head. "I know this year has been rough. And I'm glad you get this chance. I just want to make sure you're not running away."

I loaded the bristles of my paint brush with bright red. "I don't know." I made a slash across what I'd already done and stared at the canvas disappointed. I'd ruined it.

Mom was behind me hugging me around my waist. She pushed my wild curly hair to the side of my head. "Sweetie, it's ok if you are. I just want you to know, you can always come back home."

I felt the hot tears prick my eyes. She always knew what to say. I set my pallet and brush down and turned around to hug her hard. "Thanks Mom. I love you."

"I love you too sweetie. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

"Time to start living your own life." She wiped the tears off my cheeks and her own with her thumbs. Then she looked down between us. I'd gotten paint all over her new shirt.

"Oh, sorry!" I handed her a rag. "Go throw it in the wash right now, cold water."

"I can't say I'll miss this," she teased. She gave me one more cheek stroke and went to launder the mess I'd made. I took a bite of peanut butter sandwich, the simplicity of it grounding me back to my room. I'd miss my stuff. Even so, I was ready for an adventure.