Another Thing I Shouldn't Be Doing, a harry potter fanfic

* ~ The Eighth Year Universe Series ~ *

PART ONE

Another Thing I Shouldn't Be Doing

A/N: The story title and parts in italics are lyrics from the song that inspired this little one-shot:

Just Another Thing by Maren Morris.

BIG NEWS! I am re-uploading the eighth year, the complete series (five parts at the moment, there will be six when it's finished). They will be uploaded as five separate stories, this is a one chapter, the others are all multi-chap. The entire series has been rewritten since it was last on this website so it looks very different than it did before but I have finally written the story the way I wanted to, I've learned to ignore and rise above the negative reviews now that I am a few years older and wiser!

***** WARNING *****

This is rated M because it's basically porn at times, and there's a bit of dubious consent with Susan so be aware if that's something you don't want to read.

I ought to know better, but you know that never stopped me before…

Theodore Nott had been far from perfect before he returned to Hogwarts for his sixth year. In the past, he had been many things – a bully, an idiot, a smart-arse, all harmless really in the scheme of things.

But now? Well, now he was broken. Fucked up, a little voice in the back of his head whispered. Just like his father, because of his father.

Theo sighed and kicked his Hogwarts trunk shut as his mind ran away from him. He had spent his summer protecting his best friend. He had tried in vain to keep him hidden in the summerhouse on the grounds of the Nott Estate because the last thing he wanted was for Draco to have the dark mark forced upon him. For Draco to become something he hated, somebody they both hated.

But he had failed, miserably. Theo grabbed his trunk and headed downstairs, hoping against hope that his father wouldn't be seeing him off today. His heart sank when he saw the man he hated standing in the entrance hall. Behind him stood a tall, thin woman with dark hair and dark eyes, she had been beautiful before the war, but now she just looked tired. She was Salvadora, Theo's stepmother. Sheltering behind Salvadora was a little girl with that same dark hair but with lighter eyes – eyes identical to Theo's. They were often warm, but today those eyes were sad.

"It's not forever, Lacey," Theo said, ignoring his father to kneel in front of his half-sister, "Just until Christmas."

Lacey nodded tearfully and looked down without saying anything. At the age of four, she was already scared of retribution from her father for letting her feelings show.

"Be good, Theodore," Salvadora said, eyes meeting Theo's and saying what words couldn't – be good, do not give your father anymore excuses to hurt you.

Theo smiled boyishly at her, "I'm always good," he joked.

Alfred Nott scoffed, "Come here, boy."

Theo stiffened up. He pulled himself up to his full height and squared his shoulders before standing in front of his father.

"You have a lot to make up for after that stunt you pulled with the Malfoy boy this summer," Alfred said gruffly, "And if I don't think you're doing enough, I'll sure as hell let you know. You hear me?"

"Yes, Father," Theo answered dutifully.

"If I call you out of school, you fucking come," Alfred said, pointing the finger at Theo, "No bullshit, you do as your told."

Theo swallowed and nodded. He picked up his trunk and said, "I'll have an elf take me to the station in a carriage."

Nobody said anything to stop him, and he left the house in a hurry, craving fresh air. He got outside and sucked it in, then called an elf who brought a carriage. Theo blew out a breath of relief as the carriage lifted out, pulled by two Hippogriffs.

Leaving Nott Manor in the dust behind him was the best thing that had happened to him in weeks.

He waited until the ascent was complete, then he pulled a pack of muggle cigarettes from his pocket – a disgusting vice his stepmother had said when she caught him, but she hadn't stopped him either, and she hadn't told his father. Theo and Salvadora didn't get on, he'd never respected the girl that married his father when he was 11 years old, but he did love Lacey. He and Salvadora had an understanding – they were both a victim of Alfred Nott, so they kept each other's secrets from the cruel old man.

Theo looked out of the carriage window at the clouds they were travelling through. He sure as hell hoped his father didn't call him out of school because if he did, he knew what it would be for – to get that same damn mark that Draco probably had by now.

He tried to force Draco out of his head because he was terrified of the state he would find his best friend in when he got to platform 9 ¾. Thinking about Draco brought up feelings he didn't want to deal with, feelings he didn't think he could deal with. For the longest time, he'd felt like Draco was the brother he'd never had. They had grown up in each other's pockets, and they had never really been without each other.

When they got to Hogwarts, things changed as new friends stepped into their circle. It wasn't just the two of them against the world anymore, although nobody else really understood what it was like to have such wicked men for fathers. This summer, though, it had been them against the world again - Theo protecting Draco from it all, and while it had lasted, it had felt great.

Maybe Theo had gotten too cocky. Perhaps he had gotten complacent, which had allowed Draco to get caught. But the stupid thing was, it had been because he was happy. He and Draco all summer, with stashed bottles of firewhiskey and the odd cigarette that Theo could get his hands on, that had been all he never knew he needed. It had been so brilliantly normal.

Then it had all rained down when Lucius Malfoy dragged his son away, kicking and screaming to join their Dark Lord's army. And Theo had been punished, of course. His father didn't just hurt him. He humiliated him, and he de-humanised him.

For a while, Theo had been able to put up with it, but that final time, something in him had cracked. He screamed, cried, gave his father the satisfaction he wished he hadn't, and something inside him had broken. He felt numb, like the rest of the world was moving around him while he stayed still.

With a sigh, Theo blew out another ring of smoke and shook his head.

Maybe this year would change things.

So add your name, to the list, of all the things I can't seem to kick…

Theo waited in the carriage for a little while so that he could dash onto the platform with only a few minutes to spare. He wanted to jump on the train in the chaos so that he wouldn't be noticed, and his plan worked perfectly.

He made his way down the train, glancing into compartments and seeing a few familiar faces – he got a nod from Neville Longbottom, who was sitting with Luna Lovegood, and he nodded back politely. He and Neville had been friends as kids, but they didn't talk much anymore.

Theo ignored the carriage with the golden trio in it. He didn't want to look too long and get caught staring at their precious golden princess. Those two Gryffindor idiots were rather protective of her after all.

Eventually, towards the front of the train, he reached his Slytherin brethren. The moment he looked into Draco's compartment, he knew it was too late. Draco was paler than usual, and he was sitting with his head against the window, his eyes staring aimlessly out at the billowing steam from the engine.

Pansy, who was sitting by his side, smiled, "Hey Theo. How was your summer?"

"Fucking awful," Theo answered, his eyes still on Draco, "You okay, Draco?"

"Fine," Draco said coolly. He turned to meet Theo's eyes, and he gave him a long, searching look.

Theo wanted to apologise for letting him down, but this wasn't the time or the place. Blaise and Pansy, the only other people in the compartment, watched the exchange curiously. He could tell that he wasn't wanted here, so he nodded and shut the compartment door, stepping into the neighbouring compartment instead.

Three girls occupied this one in his year – the twisted sisters, otherwise known as Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis, and Sadie Cauldwell, who Theo had been friends with since he first boarded this train.

Sadie frowned at him, "Aren't you sitting with Draco? You usually do."

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to shove my nose in where I'm not wanted," Theo said bitterly.

"Trouble in paradise?" Daphne asked sarcastically.

Theo fixed Daphne with a suspicious look, "Why aren't you with him? Isn't he your boyfriend?"

"Supposedly so, but he didn't seem to want to talk to me either," Daphne said evasively. She would never admit that she was hurting, not in front of him anyway.

"He hates me," Theo said, letting his head drop into his hands, "And he's bloody right too. I let him down this summer."

"Theo," Daphne said testily, "What happened? I mean, I know he was living in your summerhouse-"

"Yeah, because he put himself at risk to run away and meet you on at least two occasions," Theo cut in irritably.

Tracey smirked, "Daphne Greengrass, you naughty girl. Sex outside marriage?"

"Oh, give over, Tracey," Daphne said, kicking her leg half-heartedly, "He'll be my husband one day anyway, and I'm hardly stupid enough to get pregnant."

Tracey gave her a warning look that didn't go amiss by Theo. The boy shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and all three girls noticed.

"His Dad found him," Theo said stiffly, "He dragged him home, and now he won't talk to me, so I guess he thinks I failed him too."

"Hey," Sadie said softly, "It's not your fault, Theo."

Theo laughed humourlessly, "I appreciate your effort to make me feel better, Sadie, but yeah, it is my fault."

Daphne sighed and looked out of the window, "Merlin knows what Lucius did to him after he spent the summer hiding from him…"

Theo nodded and shifted again, trying to get comfortable without something hurting – it wasn't an easy feat.

Sadie noticed. She frowned and asked, "Are you okay, Theo?"

Theo smiled half-heartedly, "Ah, I'm fine, Sadie."

"No," Sadie said perceptively, "You aren't. What happened to you?"

Theo dropped the fake smile and looked down at his feet, "My father tortured me within an inch of my life then, just as I was recovering, I had to take a hit for my baby sister. Nothing new, really."

Sadie's eyes flashed angrily, "I hate your father."

"You and me both, sister," Theo joked weakly, "Anyway, how was your summer, guys? Can't all be doom and gloom, can it?"

Daphne gave Theo a dubious look, "Voldemort is back. Of course, it was all doom and gloom."

Theo's eyes darkened, "Yeah, well. Let's try not to talk about that old bastard. I hear his name enough at home."

Daphne sighed and nodded her agreement, happily changing the subject to something menial and trivial.

You're just another mess…

Theo didn't speak to Draco again on the train, and the blonde boy was relatively late getting to the great hall. He sat down as far away from Theo as possible when he did get in, and Theo's shoulders slumped as he looked down at an empty plate. He could feel Sadie's concerned gaze on him, but he ignored it.

He barely ate anything at the feast. Theo found that the grief and the pain combined to make him feel more nauseous than hungry, so he tried to busy himself with making small talk and asking the others about their summer. The only person who saw how hard he was trying to hold it all together was Sadie, even if he didn't know it at the time.

When the feast was over, Theo seized his chance to corner Draco. They shared a dormitory with Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise, so when they all headed to bed, Theo yanked the curtains back on Draco's bed and grabbed his best friends arm, hoping to confirm a suspicion but wishing he was wrong all the while.

Draco cried out in alarm. He jumped up and gripped his arm as tears of pain welled in his eyes.

"Fuck!" Theo exclaimed, kicking his four-poster bed angrily, "After everything I did? He still got you?"

Draco sat back down on the edge of his bed, breathing heavily, "You did your best. It wasn't your fault."

"Yeah, well, it looks like my best wasn't bloody good enough, doesn't it?" Theo asked, climbing into his bed and pulling the curtains shut harder than he needed to.

From that point onwards, things weren't quite the same between Theo and Draco. Theo felt like he had failed his best friend like his best hadn't been good enough that time because it never was. He had lots of other friends, of course, but none of them was Draco, and most people understood the hole it left in his gut to have severed that cord.

"You need to have a bit of fun, Theo," Pansy had said one night, nudging him in the side, "Draco might be all broody, but we can't let that get us all down. Can we?"

Theo looked across the room at Daphne, who seemed rather forlorn. If anyone was as cut up as him by the sudden change in Draco, it was her. He sighed and tore his eyes away, "I'm fine, Pansy," he lied.

Pansy opened her mouth to argue that he wasn't okay, but Theo pushed her hand away and got to his feet.

"I just need to go for a walk," He muttered, walking out of the common room and sneaking through the darkened halls to escape the castle. It was bloody freezing, of course, being September in Scotland and all, but he didn't care.

He breathed in the fresh, cold air and lit up a cigarette from his secret stash. He blew out a ring of smoke with a contented sigh, and he walked towards the greenhouses that were lit up.

His mind felt so tortured; he felt older than he was. 16 going on bloody 36. His father was going to be the death of him; he was sure of that.

Theo could never be the person that his father wanted him to be, and if that expectation didn't kill him, Alfred Nott himself would. He sucked in a breath of nicotine and looked up at the castle, the place that had once been his safe haven.

It didn't feel like that anymore. Nothing felt the same. He just felt numb and lonely. He was a failure – he had failed his father for not being enough like him, for not being cruel enough, for not giving a fucking damn about blood supremacy.

He had failed his mother; she was dead because of him. He had failed his stepmother, and he had never been able to save her from his father's abuse. He had failed Draco like he had failed every other godforsaken person that he loved. Everyone apart from Lacey, she was the only one he had been able to protect, but he couldn't keep that up forever.

And now, Voldemort was back, and Draco was a Death Eater. Before long, Theo expected he would be one too. Who was going to win the war, Theo didn't know but right now, he was hoping he'd get caught in the crossfire. He was a tortured soul, keeping himself afloat with cigarettes and alcohol at the age of 16. It could only worsen from here on out, and he would rather die than become the sort of bitter, twisted old man that his father was.

Theo sighed and looked through a dirty pane into the greenhouse where a familiar redheaded girl was sitting on a bench, her head in her hands. His curiosity and concern for her got the better of him, so he stamped out his cigarette and stepped inside.

She looked up sharply, wiping her eyes hastily, "Nott – what the hell are you doing here?"

"Sorry," Theo said, "I was just walking outside, and I saw you…" he trailed off, unsure where he was going with that sentence.

The girl, Susan Bones, got to her feet and glared at him, "Well, if you've come here to gloat, you can piss off."

Theo frowned, "Why would I come here to gloat? Who sneaks around outside greenhouses to gloat?"

Susan frowned too, "Well…because you're a creep, obviously."

Theo snorted and sat down on one of the potting tables, "If I was gonna creep on girls, don't you think I'd choose something more obvious, like a bathroom? What kind of weirdo gets turned on peeping through greenhouse windows at people? Apart from Longbottom, obviously."

Susan let out a reluctant laugh, then glared at him, "That was mean. Neville's my friend."

Theo raised an eyebrow, "And yet you still laughed."

"Shut up, or I'll feed you to a plant," Susan said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Theo looked around the greenhouse, "Uh, I hate to break it to you, Bones, but we're in greenhouse one. Nothing in here could eat me, I mean, I suppose a really hungry, motivated mandrake could give it a try, but I think I'd win."

Susan smiled slightly, "You're an idiot."

Theo grinned, "So I've been told. Why are you crying in a greenhouse anyway? Did some dumbass break up with you?"

"No," Susan replied, tearing her eyes away from Theo's, "My aunt was murdered this summer by the Death Eaters."

Theo's eyes widened, "Oh, fuck…I'm sorry Susan, I didn't know that."

Susan shrugged and took a step closer to him on her way to the door. She wrinkled her nose up, "You stink. Have you been smoking muggle cigarettes?"

Theo shrugged, "Yeah, call it a vice or whatever. It's better to feel something than to feel numb, you know?"

Susan caught his eye, "Who did you lose?"

"My mother, a long time ago," Theo said, his eyes distant, "My father killed her and got away with it."

Susan sighed, dropping the suspicious attitude, "My parents died too when I was a baby."

Theo nodded, he had known that, but he didn't think anything he could say would take her suffering away.

"Have you seen the secret garden by the forbidden forest?" Susan asked, completely off-topic.

Theo glanced up, "No."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Susan asked, reaching out a hand.

Theo looked at it for a moment; then, he grasped her hand.

"Yeah, I'd love that, actually."

Just another high. Another one night shot I shouldn't be chasing…

Susan brought Theo some comfort in those early weeks of sixth year. She was sad, just like he was, but she was fighting through the sadness, and that inspired him that he could too. She was warm and genuine, and being around her made Theo feel better, so he made time to be with her whenever he could.

Pansy was miffed when Theo rebuffed her to pick Susan as a Herbology partner, and Theo ignored her huffs and Daphne's disbelieving looks as he whispered and chuckled with Susan in the corner of the greenhouse.

He stopped studying in the library in favour of using the study hall where he knew he could always find Susan. She was often with Hannah Abbott, but she would shy away from her to sit closer to Theo every time he joined them in the hall. Theo might have been imagining it, but he thought that his presence brought her some comfort too.

It didn't go unnoticed though, Theo should have been so lucky after all.

"What the fuck are you doing with the Bones girl?" Draco had muttered after potions one day while they walked back to their common room.

"Nothing," Theo replied, frowning over at his friend, "She's my friend."

"Well, maybe you should be less vocal about that," Draco said in a rather bitchy tone of voice, "On account of her aunt being a figurehead for the light who was just killed by our Death Eater fathers and their friends."

Theo narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to Draco, gripping him by the wrist and pulling him into an alcove, "You want to say that again?"

Draco glared at him, "You are on opposite sides, Theo, just face it."

"No," Theo hissed angrily, "Because I'm not on his side and I never will be. I'm not proud to be one of them like you are," he moved his hand up Draco's arm and squeezed hard to prove a point.

Draco groaned in pain and gripped Theo by the scruff of his robes, "You idiot! Don't you see what's at stake here? I'm not who you think I am, and I would never rat you out, but Crabbe and Goyle will. You step out of line at all, and your father will hear about it, Theo. I'm trying to protect you."

Theo laughed humourlessly, "I don't need your protection. We've been down that road, haven't we? And we failed – there's no protecting each other from our father's, Draco. They're going to kill us, or we're gonna kill them. That's the only way this ends."

"You're being dramatic and stupid," Draco hissed.

"And you're already starting to sound just like your father," Theo remarked, taking a step closer to Draco so that there were inches between their faces.

"I don't know who you're becoming this year, but until I see the Draco Malfoy I know, I want nothing to do with this one," he said, pushing Draco off him into the wall and sweeping out of the passageway furiously.

I got my excuses. Though, I don't know why I do it…

That night, he met up with Susan in the greenhouse, as had become common as of late. He was watching her potting a rare plant, her lips parted slightly in concentration and a small frown line between her eyes, and he couldn't help but smile.

When Susan finished, she looked up and caught him looking at her like that.

"What?" She asked, sweeping her hair back self-consciously.

"Nothing," Theo said, smiling warmly and taking her hand, "You're just beautiful, that's all."

Susan raised an eyebrow, "Flattery will get you nowhere with me."

"I know," Theo said, chuckling and looking away from her, "It's why I like you, to be honest."

Susan smiled warmly back at him and took his hand. She took a step towards him and kissed his lips lightly, tentatively. Theo returned the kiss softly, not deepening it for fear of scaring her off.

When she pulled back, Susan confessed, "I like you too," and she tugged his hand, dragging him out of the greenhouse towards the little secret garden that had become their favourite place to share a cigarette. Truthfully, he felt a little bad for getting her into the habit, but he also thought she was hot as hell when she blew a ring of smoke out and grinned over at him.

So he let her drag him away, and for a crazy moment, he thought he would let her drag him anywhere.

But, you're just another thing I shouldn't be doing…

Everything changed two weeks into the school year when Theo got two letters from home – the first one was from his stepmother, and it told of how Lacey was spending a week with her grandparents in Italy while Salvadora recovered from a nasty bout of stomach flu.

Theo's blood had boiled. He knew it hadn't been an illness at all but his father's latest spate of abuse.

The second letter was the worst one, though. It was from his father, requesting his presence urgently. In the letter, he informed Theo that he would be waiting at the gates with a carriage at 8 pm that night. Theo shoved the letter into his pocket and hurried from the hall, aware that the more discerning of his friends were watching him anxiously.

He ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up, gripping the edge of the toilet tightly and breathing heavily.

Tonight was the night. It was going to happen, the moment he had dreaded since Voldemort returned at the end of his fourth year.

He was going to become a Death Eater.

Just like smoking, just like drinking, I'm a fool for ever thinking I'm done…

Alfred barely spoke to Theo when he stepped out into the streets of Hogsmeade. He simply opened the carriage door and said, "In."

Theo stepped inside and shut the door behind him. The carriage moved off into the sky, and Theo braced himself.

"You will take the mark tonight," Alfred said, his eyes boring into his sons, "And if you fail to complete the ritual, I will dispose of you myself."

Theo knew he wasn't bluffing about that.

"And what if I don't want to join him?" Theo asked boldly.

Alfred glared at his son, "Then I'll throw you out of this fucking carriage right now."

Theo also knew he wasn't bluffing about that, so he shut up. He felt sick again, and it had nothing to do with the carriage's ascent. He couldn't throw up in front of his father, though; it would just be another sign of weakness that would make the older man hate him more.

Truthfully, Theo couldn't remember a time when his father didn't hate him. He felt like he had been letting him down for his entire life. He thought that nothing he did was good enough for him.

They fell silent as the carriage flew through the night towards what he thought was the Nott Estate. It was only when the carriage passed over the rooftop of Nott Manor and began its descent that he realised it wasn't Nott Manor, but the neighbouring Malfoy Manor, that they were touching down in.

"Why here?" Theo asked, looking up fearfully at his father.

Alfred rolled his eyes and stepped out of the carriage, "Because this is the Dark Lords base, you fool. Come, now."

Theo stepped out after him and felt that sickness rise in him again. He swallowed it down and tried to compose himself – no wonder Draco had run away and had been so desperate to spend his summer hidden in the Nott Estate. Lord Voldemort had turned his house into his bloody base of operations.

They walked up the main path, lined with peacocks and hedges, and Theo swallowed hard. He had never met Voldemort before, and from everything he knew about him, it wasn't a meeting that he was looking forward to. Alfred spoke a password to the door, and it opened, leading into the large, echoing entrance hall.

Theo stayed behind his father. The sound of the metal spurs on the back of his boots hitting the marble floor echoed around the chamber. They walked into the dining room, which was empty bar one seat by the fire.

It took everything in Theo not to let the fear inside him show when he saw that man. He looked up at Theo with scarlet eyes that seemed to see his soul. He raised his face as if he were smelling the air – as if he were smelling Theo's fear.

He had a giant snake coiled at his feet, whose head he was stroking as if it were a fucking rabbit – not a vicious beast that could kill with one bite.

"Ah, young Theodore," Voldemort said, his voice low and smooth, "Your father has informed me that you are ready to join us."

Theo nodded.

Voldemort cocked his head at Theo and raised one long, bony finger. He motioned for Theo to come closer, so Theo took a breath and did so. He took a few cautious steps, but Voldemort motioned again, "Closer."

Theo took the final few steps until he was standing directly in front of Voldemort.

The older man reached out and gripped Theo's wrist, and Theo flinched.

"You fear me," Voldemort said, he seemed pleased, "That is a good sign. If the sons of my own followers fear me, then I can only imagine how my enemies feel."

Theo was frozen with fear if he was honest.

Voldemort pushed Theo's sleeve up, and Theo sucked in a rattling breath. He knew what would happen next. He expected Voldemort to draw his wand, but he didn't. Instead, he pressed one long fingernail into the skin on Theo's forearm until it broke the skin, making Theo wince in pain.

Voldemort laughed cruelly – the sound was high, and as it echoed around the room, Theo decided that it would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.

The older man spoke an incantation in Latin, and the worst pain that Theo had ever experienced began in his arm. It felt like his flesh was burning from the inside out, starting from the spot where Voldemort's fingernail was digging into his skin.

He thought he had a pretty good pain threshold. He had put up with years of abuse – both magical and physical from his father, after all. But this pain was like nothing else; it was worse than a cruciatus curse, worse than a thousand cuts being inflicted into his skin at once. Theo fell to his knees and cried out in pain. His eyes flooded with tears, and he begged for it to stop.

After a few minutes, that felt like a lifetime, it did.

Voldemort released his arm, and he fell to the floor on his hands and knees, his breaths coming in few and far between.

"He is weak, Alfred," Voldemort remarked, "I see why you volunteered him only as insurance."

Theo didn't know what that meant, but he listened to the conversation as best he could over his racing heart.

"All the same, if Draco fails in his task, we will put the boy to use," Voldemort continued, "Assuming he can complete the ritual, of course."

"He will," Alfred said, and it wasn't in a proud tone of voice. It was a threat, and Theo knew it.

"Very well," Voldemort said quietly, "I have business to attend to. Leave me."

"Yes, my lord," Alfred said. He grabbed Theo by the scruff of his robes and dragged him to his feet. Grabbing him by his good arm, he yanked his son from the room and guided him back to the carriage.

Alfred practically threw Theo into it and said, "Kill a muggle before the night is through, or you will be reunited with your mother again."

Theo glared at him, "I'd rather die than join you," he spat.

Alfred took a step back and raised an eyebrow, "Did I forget to mention my insurance, Theodore? Kill a muggle before the night is through, or you will see your mother sooner than you would like, and your sister will join you shortly after."

"You are a fucking monster," Theo said, his hatred for this man stronger than anything else he had ever felt.

Alfred smiled humourlessly, "You always did need motivation to get the job done. Are we on the same page now?"

Theo shut the door of the carriage angrily and said, "Yes."

"Send me evidence," Alfred said curtly, "And I will know if you lie – the mark will not take if you do not complete the ritual."

"I know," Theo said, stamping his foot on the carriage floor to make it take off.

As he left his father in the dust behind him, Theo let his head fall into his hands as tears came thick and fast. Two hours to kill a muggle, or his little sister got murdered for his failures. Lacey was the only person he hadn't let down yet, and he clung to that every day. He couldn't fail her like he had failed everyone else.

He rested his head against the cushioned seat and looked down at the raw, angry mark on his skin. The puncture mark where Voldemort had touched him was still bleeding, and the memory made him sick. He opened the carriage window and hung his head out, throwing up the limited contents of his stomach and sucking in the fresh air like it was pure oxygen.

If he didn't complete the ritual, the mark would poison and slowly kill him. But his father would get to him first anyway, he was sure.

"Jeri – take me to the nearest muggle hospital."

The elf controlling the carriage obliged. They touched down in a local park, the carriage under the same enchantments as the Knight Bus, to ensure that they weren't noticed, of course. Theo got out, disillusioned himself and snuck into the hospital. He went to the intensive care ward and snuck around unnoticed, reading the notes at the end of every bed.

He finally found what he was looking for.

John Doe – unknown age – Blunt force trauma by a train.

Theo looked around to make sure nobody was in the room with him. He placed a stone on the man's chest and whispered, "Portus."

The stone turned into a portkey and whisked the muggle away to Theo's carriage. Theo disappeared into a crowd and ran through the hospital back to where the carriage was parked nearby. When he got into the carriage, he held his wand at the unconscious man's chest and steeled himself.

"Cor Subsisto."

The man's heart stopped, and Theo stamped his foot on the carriage floor to make it take off once more.

They soared into the sky, and Theo looked at the poor John Doe, "Jeri – take me back to Hogwarts, but fly over Nott Manor on the way."

The elf set their course, and Theo raised his wand again, his voice shaking as he sliced his wand through the air and said, "Diffindo!"

The man's head was severed from his shoulders, and Theo retched as he vanished the body away into the depths of the North Sea.

When the carriage flew over Nott Manor, Theo dropped the head onto the grounds with a note attached with three words written upon it.

"Fuck you, Father."

I always break that promise.

If I'm honest, it ain't ever just one, or two, when I'm running into you.

I'm right back, on that road – pushing that first domino…

He wasn't the same after that. He shunned everyone. He ignored Draco's attempts to talk to him and Sadie's anxious glances. The only person he couldn't shun was Susan; she was still a shining light amongst all of the darkness, even though he knew that his association with her put her at risk.

Selfishly, he couldn't let go of her. She found him two days after he had taken the mark. He was camped out behind greenhouse three with a cigarette in-between his lips.

"What happened to you the other day?" Susan asked.

Theo snorted, "You don't want to fucking know, trust me."

"Was it your father?" Susan asked.

"It's always my father," Theo replied bitterly.

Susan sighed and took the cigarette from his hand, taking a long drag from it, "Yeah, I get the Daddy Issues thing. My Aunt had a boyfriend for a while until she realised he was a creep. Then she dug up everything she could and found enough to earn him five years in Azkaban."

"She sounds pretty awesome, your aunt," Theo mused.

"She was," Susan agreed, her eyes darkening, "I saw her die, you know? I was there that day…the Death Eaters didn't know that, or they would have killed me too. But I saw it all happen, and I did nothing to stop it."

"You were a kid. Kids aren't supposed to fight to save their parents," Theo said. He took the cigarette back from her, "That's meant to be the parent's job, but sometimes they're just shit at it."

Susan looked up at him, a haunted look in her eyes, "Nothing makes it better. Nothing can erase the image from my head or take the nightmares away. Nothing dulls the pain, except for….maybe, you."

"Hm," Theo mused, holding his cigarette in one hand and running his hand along her cheek, "Yeah, you take it all away for me too."

Susan caught his eye, and there was no mistaking that there was lust in both of their eyes. Theo dropped his cigarette and stamped it out, making a small move to close the fractional gap between the two of them.

His lips met Susan's with more force than usual. He pressed his body against hers, forced his tongue into her mouth quicker than she expected and overwhelmed her with the bitter taste of nicotine. She didn't push him away. If anything, she encouraged him by wrapping her arms around his neck and not objecting when he lifted her and pressed her back into the wall – there wasn't much wiggle room in the thin gap between the stone wall and the dirty glass wall of the greenhouse.

"Theo," Susan mumbled, breaking the kiss, "We're not doing this here, are we?"

"Why not?" Theo asked, hiking her skirt up and pressing his hard-on against her, "I want you, Suse."

Susan met his eye warily, "But…it's behind greenhouse three, it's…a walking cliché."

"You're not a walking cliché," Theo said, kissing her again and running his hand up her thigh, making her shiver, "And you want this as much as I do."

Susan bit her lip, "But…we're only in sixth year and…the circumstances."

Theo kissed her lips, pressing his tongue into her mouth once more and moving his hand higher. He moaned against her lips when he felt her damp pants, "Who cares, Suse? We both want this, fuck what anyone else thinks. Nobody has to find out anyway."

"You won't brag to everyone?" Susan asked, her eyes meeting his – if he hadn't been so horny and consumed with internalised hatred, Theo would have felt like he was taking advantage of her.

"Course not," Theo said, kissing her again and slipping a finger past her pants to her wet folds. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her when he slid that finger into her tight pussy. He knew she was a virgin, they hadn't talked about it explicitly, but they both instinctively knew that this was a first time for both of them.

Susan gasped against his lips, so Theo just kept kissing her to keep her quiet. He was a dick to her, from that moment and for a long time afterwards. He forced himself in too early; she cried and rested her head on his shoulder because it hurt. He thrust into her too fast, and even though she was hurting, she gritted her teeth and took it because that was what she had done for her entire life.

Theo didn't last very long. He had cast the appropriate protection charms, of course, because for all his sins, he wasn't stupid. He thrust into her hard, she whimpered in pain, and he spilled himself inside her.

He let her down and held her for a second while her legs shook. Then she drew back and began to gather herself together.

Theo cleaned himself up and watched her warily. He knew he had fucked up. He was just waiting to see how bad the fallout would be.

Susan looked up at him tearfully, then turned and ran towards the castle. He knew she was crying, which made him sick with guilt. Theo kicked the wall, cursed, threw up and rested his head against the cold glass panel of the greenhouse.

Why did he fuck up everything good in his life? Was this just who he was now? Was the pain ever going to stop? Would it ever get better or be okay again?

He doubted it, so, not knowing what else he could do, Theo lit up a cigarette.

You're just another mess, another late night call I shouldn't be making…

"Getting quite the reputation as a heartbreaker, Theodore," Sadie said coldly, dropping down next to him in the common room a few days later.

Theo rolled his eyes, "Says who?"

"Hannah Abbott," Sadie replied, "She says you took advantage of Susan, took her virginity, then left her crying behind a greenhouse."

Theo ignored the twisting feeling of guilt and got to his feet, "You should never listen to gossip, Sadie."

Sadie glared at his back, and Pansy stuck up for him, "And if it is true, so what? Theo has been through enough, hasn't he? If he wants to have some fun, so be it. Susan has a bit of a reputation for being promiscuous anyway. I'm sure she was asking for it."

Sadie made a disapproving noise, "You disgust me, Pansy. Do me a favour and never call yourself a feminist," she said, stalking out of the common room.

Theo sighed and walked away, not wanting to listen to Pansy's ego-boosting drivel. The moment he stepped into the corridor outside the common room, he bumped into Draco, who he actively tried to avoid these days.

The blonde boy grabbed his arm and pulled him into a secret passageway behind a mirror.

"Fucking Hufflepuffs now, are you?"

Theo raised an eyebrow, "Judgy of you. Funny since you've been fucking the Ice Queen since you were 15. You aren't now, mind you. Scared she'll see that big old snake on your arm, Drakey?"

Draco hissed and pushed him against the wall.

"What you gonna do? Hit me?" Theo asked, and it was almost a challenge.

It made Draco stop in his tracks and let go of his friend, "You want me to hurt you."

Theo opened his mouth to deny it, but no words came out.

"Just like you slept with Susan to feel something," Draco realised, "You're depressed, Theo."

Theo rolled his eyes, "Oh please. I'm depressed? I'm not the one pushing everyone away and being secretive."

"You don't understand why," Draco said irritably, "If you knew, then you wouldn't be so harsh."

"Then tell me," Theo pressed.

"I can't," Draco said, fighting back the tears, "I want to, I mean sweet Salazar, I want to, but I can't."

Theo had never seen his best friend looking so scared. So he nodded and lit up a cigarette.

"I told you I'd quit that bad habit after the summer," Draco said irritably.

"Yeah, well, maybe you need it," Theo said, holding it out to him anyway, "It helps, I promise."

Draco sighed and took the cigarette. He took a long drag and blew out a breath, then handed it back to Theo.

Theo sat down against the cold stone wall, and Draco slumped against the opposite wall. At the same time, they kicked their legs out, letting them rest just close enough that they were touching. Both of them craved the comfort of human touch. Subconsciously Theo knew it was why he had ended up fucking things up with Susan.

"Helps, doesn't it?" Theo asked, his eyes meeting Draco's.

Those grey eyes seemed a few shades darker than they had last year.

"Yeah, it does."

They stayed like that, in perfect silence, for the next ten minutes, just passing the cigarette between them until it was gone.

Just another high. Another one night shot I shouldn't be taking…

Susan avoided Theo after that, and Theo kept to his word – he didn't brag about what they had done to anyone, mainly because he didn't want to brag. He didn't feel like he had anything to brag about. He had taken advantage of an upset girl who had been far too kind and who deserved much better than she had gotten from him.

As September bled into October, the first Hogsmeade weekend loomed. It seemed insignificant to carry on with the charade that this was an ordinary school year with everything Theo knew was happening outside the castle, but he played along anyway.

He went to Hogsmeade on his own, Draco was more broody and secretive than usual, and the girls all had their own plans. Since the fuck up with Susan, Theo was feeling worse than usual. On top of all the usual guilt, he now had the Susan guilt. But then there was the fact that the brief tryst behind the greenhouse had made him feel more in five minutes than he had felt in months and fucking hell, how he wanted to do it again.

Theo kicked a pebble as he walked along the quiet path behind Hogsmeade, a cardboard cup of coffee in his hand. He looked up at the shrieking shack and sighed. There would be no apologising to Susan now. She hated him, and he had just seen her go into the Three Broomsticks with Neville bloody Longbottom anyway.

He had no right to be jealous, and he knew that, but he was.

"I didn't think anyone else came up here."

Theo looked over at the vaguely familiar voice. A Ravenclaw was sitting on a rock, a cardboard cup of coffee in her hands too. She was Asian, with a soft Scottish accent, and she was pretty, her dark hair pleated down her back and her cheeks rosy with the cold.

"I don't really like being around crowds of people these days," Theo said, sitting down across from her on a log.

"Neither do I," She admitted.

Theo pointed his wand at the patch of dirt in-between them. He transfigured the stones there into sticks then set a fire roaring into life.

She smiled and held her hands out over it, "I'm Cho."

"I know," Theo said, warming his own hands on the fire, "Everyone knows about Harry Potter's first girlfriend."

Cho rolled her eyes, "I'm hardly that. We kissed, that was all. It was awkward from start to finish."

"Sounds like every first relationship I've ever heard of," Theo muttered, thinking of himself and Susan.

"It might have been a first for him, but it wasn't a first for me," Cho said, her eyes were far away.

"Yeah," Theo agreed, looking up at her, "You and Cedric."

Cho just nodded.

"I'm Theo, by the way, Theo Nott."

Cho nodded again, "Your father is a Death Eater, supposedly."

Theo wasn't sure why she was mentioning that, "Yeah," he said dumbly.

"He was probably there the night Cedric died," Cho added.

"Yeah, he was," Theo said, again, there was no point in lying about it, but he didn't know what Cho hoped to get out of this conversation.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Cho asked, looking him in the eye, "How you find yourself drawn to the people you should hate."

Theo wasn't sure what she meant by that. If she was flirting, she sure had a strange way of doing it, "Uh…I suppose?"

Cho finished her coffee and threw the cardboard cup onto the fire. It roared violently, and she got up, trailing her hand across his shoulder as she brushed past him, "I can recognise when someone is in pain, Theo. The way you look? It's the way I feel."

"Numb," Theo said quietly, his eyes on the fire ahead.

She squeezed his shoulder, "You find coping mechanisms. Some things work better than others. But there are ways to feel things, good things."

Yep, she was definitely flirting with him.

Theo put on his best boyish smirk and looked up at her, "I'll bear that in mind," he said.

She left, and minutes later, a blood-curdling scream filled the hillside. Theo got up and looked around in alarm, reaching for his wand and expecting Death Eaters to appear in the middle of the street.

What he saw instead was worse – a girl, rising into the air, her mouth open as an otherworldly scream was ripped from her lungs. As quickly as he saw her, she was gone, falling back to earth with a sickening thud as more screams and shouts filled the quiet little town.

Theo's eyes darkened as he walked towards the drama. Whatever had just happened, it was not a good sign of things to come.

I got my excuses. Though, I don't know why I do it…

Theo didn't put much stock in his strange little chat with Cho Chang at first, mainly because there were bigger things to deal with in the wake of what had happened to Katie Bell in Hogsmeade.

Draco had been quiet and twitchy ever since. He kept checking the papers for news. He even asked Tracey to ask McGonagall how Katie was. All of that screamed guilt, but Theo couldn't work out why he had tried to hurt her.

Katie wasn't anyone important. She was a half-blood from two unimportant families. There was no reason for Voldemort to send Draco after her, so why had he hurt her? He wanted to question Draco about that himself, but he didn't get a chance. The blonde boy was avoiding him like the pox – he went to bed early every night, placing locking and silencing charms on his bed. Then he disappeared at all hours of the night with Crabbe and Goyle as his bodyguards.

Whatever he was doing, it spelt disaster; Theo knew that much. He could see how scared Draco was even to mention what he was doing, and none of it boded well. He just wished his best friend would ask for help because if he had, Theo would have given it freely.

Theo opted to ignore Draco instead. If he wanted help, he'd ask for it, and until then, there was nothing he could do.

He went about his everyday life, pretended to listen in class, pretended to study, and after her 'offer', he couldn't stop noticing Cho Chang. Every so often, she would catch his eye from the neighbouring Ravenclaw table, and Theo would sometimes hold her gaze for a little too long.

After a few days of this too and fro, he bumped into her in-between classes. As she was actually alone (a rare occasion because she always seemed to have an entourage), he pulled her into a secret passageway and shoved her up against the wall, pressing his lips against hers.

She had obviously been expecting it or goading him into doing it because she kissed him back hard and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Theo fought her for control and was surprised by the fight she put up. He had always thought Ravenclaws were timid, and this one, in particular, had always seemed so. Maybe Cedric's death had changed her after all.

Theo groaned and pressed his hard-on against her, making her laugh against his lips. She reached down and unzipped his trousers, pulling his cock free and stroking it. Theo groaned against her lips as the first bell for the next lesson sounded – the warning bell. Cho picked up the pace, and Theo knew he wouldn't last long. He was a total novice and a horny one at that. As the second bell rang, Theo came, covering both of their uniforms in cum.

"Scourgify," Cho murmured, before fixing her tie and smiling at him, "There's a party in the Ravenclaw common room tomorrow night. Answer the doors riddle, and it will ask you for a password because you're not a Ravenclaw – it's Eagle."

She disappeared from the cupboard, and Theo freshened himself up then jogged to Charms. When he walked in, five minutes later, he got a brief telling off from Flitwick.

But when he sat down, Sadie hissed, "You smell like sex."

"What? Do I?" Theo asked in alarm.

Sadie murmured a freshening charm and glared at him, "If you're going to hook up with skanks in-between classes, learn the basics."

"She wasn't a skank," Theo muttered, but he could tell there would be no convincing Sadie of that, so he just nodded, "I'll learn the basics," he promised.

"Protection spells, so you don't get anyone pregnant and to protect yourself from getting nasty diseases," Sadie said sternly.

"You're not judging me then?" Theo asked.

Sadie bit her lip and fell silent as Flitwick passed them. When he was gone, she whispered, "I wish you would stop punishing yourself, but no, I'm not judging you."

With that, they fell silent as the lesson began, and Theo found that her words echoed around his head for a few days to come.

You're just another thing I shouldn't be doing…

He went to the Ravenclaw party, and that was when he truly began to get a reputation. Cho danced with him in front of her fellow housemates, then she took his hand and dragged him upstairs into her dorm room to the whistling of her friends.

It wasn't going to be a secret – by 9 am the next day, everyone would know that Theodore Nott had disappeared into Cho Chang's dorm room thanks to the Hogwarts rumour mill.

Theo didn't really care, though. He got a buzz out of the smuggled whiskey that they had gotten into the party, and he got a high from the things Cho did to him in her dorm room that night.

When they said the good girls were the ones to watch in the bedroom, they really meant it; Cho closed the curtains around her bed and didn't even bother putting a silencing charm up as she moved down his body and took his dick in her mouth, sucking it and touching herself for a few minutes before grabbing his cock and seating herself on it.

Theo, who had only ever had that awkward, inexperienced fuck with Susan, was struggling to keep it together from the get-go. Cho was obviously far more experienced than him, and boy did she teach him a thing or two. She rode him hard, twisting her hips and making him groan loudly. He thrust into her erratically and cried out in pleasure as he came inside her, way too early for both of their liking.

Cho laughed and said, "You have so much to learn, Theo."

Theo grinned, "You're going to teach me then?"

And she did. Every chance they got, they hooked up in a dorm room, abandoned classroom or broom cupboard. Those were the perks of hooking up with the Head Girl; she knew all of the spots that wouldn't be getting patrolled on every given night.

Theo's friends knew he was hooking up with her, and while most of them disapproved, Theo didn't care. He was smoking less, not relying on the dirty habit because he had sex to fall back on instead, and god, with Cho, it felt better than smoking ever had.

"She's using you," Tracey said one night as she lay on the sofa with her head in his lap.

Theo looked down at her, "Who?"

"Cho, obviously," Tracey said, throwing a snitch into the air and watching it whizz across the empty common room.

Theo supposed he knew he was being used, and he had known it from the beginning.

"What if I like being used?" He teased.

Tracey gave him a knowing look, "Theo, you can't call the buzz of a cigarette or the rush of a risky shag 'feeling', it's not. You're desperately chasing normality, but you're going about it all the wrong way."

Theo rolled his eyes, "Because everyone else is coping so well, huh? Daphne broke up with Draco."

"You don't know why she did that," Tracey said lowly, "She had her reasons, and they were damn good ones."

"Yeah, I bet they probably have something to do with that big snake on his arm, huh?"

Tracey sat up and looked at him in shock, "You know?"

"Of course I know. Why do you think we've barely talked this year?" Theo asked bitterly. He reached up and caught the snitch, which continued to struggle against his hands.

"Then you must know that he's up to something this year," Tracey said, lowering her voice, "The gossip mill says he's meeting up with someone he shouldn't be for an illicit affair. Most bets are Potter or Granger."

Theo made a face, "Potter? Come on, he's got taste. Granger? Maybe, he does have a thing for her, but I doubt it. He's pale and touchy; this isn't a secret fling. It's much worse."

"Daphne thinks so too," Tracey said quietly, "It's why she broke up with him."

"Yeah, well, he's not doing himself any favours this year. That much is true," Theo said as he pushed himself to his feet, "And as for Cho and me? I don't see a problem. She wants to fuck me, and I love fucking her. Nobody is getting hurt, and everyone is having fun."

"It's always fun until someone gets hurt," Tracey said, giving him a warning look.

Theo scoffed and walked away, but it turned out that she had been more right than he knew.

After a month of secret encounters, Cho broke things off with him. That in itself wasn't a surprise. Theo knew that they had never been a couple. They didn't have much in common, and they rarely had conversations of any consequence.

In mid-November, Cho told him she had a date in Hogsmeade with Roger Davies, and she thought it might be time for her to try the whole dating thing again.

Theo took it well enough. He brushed it off and said that it had been fun while it lasted. But a few days later, the withdrawal kicked in.

Sadie noticed him smoking in the common room and kicked him, "You can't do that in here."

Theo rolled his eyes, "Says who?"

"Dumbledore for a start," Sadie said irritably, "And if you have no respect for him, then Snape."

Theo scoffed, "Well, fuck Snape."

"Someone is touchy," Tracey mused.

"Of course he is. He hasn't gotten his daily dose of Cho Chang for the last few days," Daphne said cruelly.

Theo glared at her, "Shut the fuck up, Daphne. You don't get to be pissy with me just cause you've broken up with Draco."

"At least I don't need sex to function, Theo," Daphne said coolly as she walked past him.

Theo wanted to curse her in the back, but he couldn't, mainly because he knew that she was right. Cho had been a breath of fresh air, she had been exactly what he needed, and without her, there was a hole that he was trying to fill with stolen firewhiskey and shitty cigarettes again.

He got up off the sofa irritably and stalked out of the room. So what if Cho was done with sex? It wasn't like she was the only prospect in this castle. There were plenty of desperate, passably attractive girls who he could draw in.

And therein, although he didn't recognise it for what it was at the time, began his reputation as Hogwarts rich playboy, or arrogant manwhore depending on who you asked.

He flirted with everyone shamelessly, and Sadie watched her friend fall into ruin quietly because she knew that nothing she could say would make a difference. Many of the girls he flirted with brushed him off, but the more vain (and subsequently stupid) ones bought into it.

That was how he ensnared Annie Perks – the Gryffindor rich girl whose Daddy was on the board of governors. She pretended to be a good girl, but Theo saw right through the façade. He winked at her in potions and made a suggestive comment, and ten minutes later, she was sucking his cock in a broom closet in-between the dungeons and the great hall.

Theo groaned and grabbed her dark brown hair. She moaned as he fucked her mouth until he came, then she swallowed every last drop before pushing herself to her feet and wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her cardigan.

Theo kissed her hard, stopping only when the second bell for lunch rang. Then he pulled back and said, "We should do this again sometime."

And they did – that night after curfew, they met in an abandoned classroom, and Annie wasted no time in letting Theo know exactly what she wanted from him. He lifted her onto the teacher's desk and spread her legs, sliding her pants to the side and slipping two fingers into her wet pussy.

"There is no way you're a virgin," Theo said, unzipping his trousers and muttering protection charms. He had taken Sadie's words seriously where they were concerned.

"You never asked if I was," Annie said slyly.

Theo slid his cock into her, and she moaned quietly, "Who did you fuck then, Annie?"

His harsh words made Annie gasp. She was tighter than Cho, virgin or otherwise and fuck, it felt good.

Annie smirked, "Sally and I experiment with some interesting spells some time. You should join us sometime."

The suggestion alone turned Theo on more than she knew. He thrust into her harder, and Annie grabbed his arse, forcing him to fuck her harder and faster.

He lasted longer this time, Cho had taught him a lot after all, and endurance was one of those things. But Annie was hot, and she was a bit of a secret slut – a lady on the streets, but a slut in the sheets as the phrase went. She knew what buttons to push and what things to whisper to make him cum faster than he would have liked. When he got close, he pulled out and forced her onto her knees. She obligingly took his cock in her mouth and swallowed his cum for the second time that day.

For a brief moment, before the guilt kicked in, Theo enjoyed the satisfying feeling coursing through his body.

You're just another kiss.

Another Friday night I shouldn't be wasting…

She hadn't been joking about him joining in with her and Sally either. Sally Smith was her best friend, and Theo knew she was Zacharias Smith's cousin. Theo didn't know much about her. Apart from that, she looked like a wannabe Gryffindor version of Daphne Greengrass. She used charms on her blonde hair to make it more platinum, like Daphne's, and she dressed promiscuously, like Daphne.

After a few trysts with Annie, she snuck him into the rival territory – the Gryffindor common room. It was abandoned at 2 am on a Wednesday, so she did a spell to stop the stairs from turning into a slide and snuck him into the dorm she and Sally shared with Hermione Granger, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown.

Annie pushed him into her bed, where Sally was already waiting, and they cast silencing charms around the four-poster. Sally had already stripped down to lacy scarlet-red underwear, and she was just as hot as Annie.

"Hey, Theo."

Theo knew that Sadie could never find out about this. She had some sort of beef with Sally, and they had hated each other since second year. If she found out that Theo had slept with that 'dirty skank' as Sadie tended to refer to her, she would go nuts.

But Theo was a selfish bastard, and he didn't care about that. He just cared about the two hot girls who were throwing themselves at him.

Annie stepped out of her skirt and unbuttoned her blouse. She was wearing the same underwear as Sally.

Sally unbuttoned and yanked Theo's trousers, so he kicked them down to the bottom of the bed.

"You are getting quite a reputation, Theo," Sally murmured, moving down to rub his cock through his boxers, "Are you as big as everyone says you are?"

Annie grinned and pulled Theo's boxers off, his cock sprung free, "He is, don't you trust me?"

Theo groaned as the two girls moved down to his cock, running their mouths and tongues up it and taking turns to suck him. When Annie grabbed Sally's head and forced her to swallow Theo's cock, his groans grew louder. Annie let go and pulled Sally off of Theo's cock to kiss her. Then they reversed roles.

Theo thought he would explode as Annie sucked his cock, goaded on by Sally, who pushed her down until she gagged. Eventually, he decided enough was enough.

He reached down and grabbed Annie, pulling her off his cock, "Enough, which one of you am I fucking first?"

Sally laughed and moved to push his shirt off, "Don't you think this should come off first?"

Theo reacted defensively, and Annie grabbed Sally's wrist, "He doesn't take his shirt off – it's a thing, okay? And it doesn't matter; he can fuck you with it own."

Sally made a face, "Whatever," she said as she mounted Theo's cock and slid down onto him. Like Annie, she was tight, but not to the point that she felt like a virgin. Seeing those two together, he understood why that was now.

While he fucked her, Annie massaged her clit until she came hard, spasming around Theo's cock and climbing off to let Annie take her place. He fucked her harder, and as she came, pulsing around her cock, Theo came too.

"Fuck, Annie," he groaned, "Oh, fuck, yes."

He threw his head back against the pillow as the pressure in his cock released, making Annie moan his name loudly.

As he caught his breath, they lay down on either side of them, and Theo looked up at the top of the four-poster in disbelief.

Fuck, he thought when his brain stopped buzzing.

Sadie's going to kill me if she ever finds out.

Just another 'whatcha doing later on', I shouldn't be saying…

"I hope the rumour mill is wrong," Sadie muttered, glaring at Theo in charms the next day.

"Why?" Theo asked casually, "What shit are they saying this time? I thought the spice of the month was Rovender or is LaRon?"

Sadie glared at him, "You're always in the rumour mill, and you know it."

Theo smirked and got kicked under the table for it.

"They are saying that having tried out a Hufflepuff and a Ravenclaw, Theodore Nott has moved on to Gryffindors," Sadie muttered.

"Well, they are easy, to be fair," Theo whispered, "Desperate for attention. One, in particular, is a total whore."

He accidentally caught Annie's eye across the room and looked away.

Sadie scoffed, "I knew you were sleeping with her, I've been smelling her perfume on you for a week, but you better not go there with Sally."

"I won't," Theo said, feeling a little guilty for lying to her.

"I mean it, Theo," Sadie whispered, "She's a horrible, nasty liar. Anything you do, anything you say, she'll twist it into something it isn't."

"I know your opinion, Sade," Theo muttered, "I won't go there, okay?"

Sadie glared at him, somewhat unconvinced he suspected. But to his word, he didn't go near Sally again.

As the days turned into weeks, Annie tried to goad him into another threesome with Sally, and when he consistently refused, she eventually got bored and broke things off with him in late November.

Theo doubted it was a coincidence that a rumour went around the next day that he was a Death Eater. He knew it had come from Sally, and it further cemented Sadie's opinion of the Gryffindor girl.

He covered his dark mark up with glamour because he knew he'd get questioned, and surely enough, when Draco pulled him into an alcove and yanked his sleeve up, he saw nothing but skin.

The blonde boy breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank Merlin for that."

"What, two isn't company?" Theo asked sarcastically.

Draco glared at him, "No, you fucking idiot. I never want you to go through what I've had to, never, you hear me?"

Another stab of guilt hit Theo in the gut, but he nodded.

Draco let go of him and said, "I'm just glad it was a rumour. Who did you piss off to spread that one?"

"Oh, probably the stupid Gryffindor girl I was shagging for a while," Theo said offhandedly, pushing past Draco out of the passageway before he could pass any further judgement on the issue.

I got my excuses. No, I don't know why I do it…

November bled into December, and with a lack of sex, Theo fell back on cigarettes and a hipflask of firewhiskey he had stolen from his father's stash. He couldn't tell if his friends were more worried about him when he used those coping mechanisms or the sexual ones. Either way, they stopped nagging at him for a while.

Draco had started talking to him again, although none of their conversations came to much consequence. Draco clammed up every time Theo asked what he was doing, and more often than not, a conversation ended with one of both of them getting shoved against a wall, cursed or punched.

When they weren't arguing, they were sharing a cigarette in a darkened corner of the castle or the grounds, out of sight of Snape with his ever-watchful eye on Draco.

Slughorn threw a Christmas party and invited Theo, but he politely declined. He could have found a desperate girl and asked her to go with him, he might have gotten lucky in a broom closet, but that just didn't seem to matter anymore.

As the year went on, Draco's appearance and general mental health deteriorated, and any energy that Theo had, went on sustaining his best friend. It was the only way he could help because Draco refused to let him, or anyone else for that matter, in.

Christmas came and went relatively uneventfully. Theo went home and was cursed by his father for leaving a severed head on the lawn months earlier. After that, Alfred left for most of Christmas break to conduct important work for 'their lord'. Theo was thankful for the holiday and enjoyed a relatively normal Christmas with his little sister, which did him a world of good.

He began to heal at Christmas. Lacey smiled, and he felt the sparks of happiness within his own soul. She laughed, and he found himself laughing too; it was just infectious. He realised that he didn't need sex to feel alive, but he couldn't give up the cigarettes because they did help more than he would care to admit.

Theo would never have wanted to describe himself as a panicky person, but the cigarettes calmed him down and mellowed him out.

When he went back to school, he stopped sleeping around for a while, which seemed to please his friends. Daphne didn't care much; she was too consumed with hurt about the break-up with Draco. But Sadie was nicer to him than she had been for a while, and Tracey told him he'd done the right thing. Pansy told him how mature he was in her usual flirty attempt to boost his ego.

January became February, and February became March. Draco was still absent from the common room and dorm room more than he was there, but that had become the norm as of late, and because Draco never answered Theo when he questioned him on it, he had given up entirely.

Then things changed in March when the news spread that Ron Weasley had been poisoned. Draco went white and made an excuse to disappear from the common room, but Theo pressed Lavender Brown – Ron's girlfriend – for more information.

"Oh, it's awful," She sobbed, "He could have died."

Theo really didn't give a fuck. He hated Ron Weasley more than he hated most Gryffindors – Harry Potter included.

"Yeah, I'm sure it must be super traumatic for you," Theo said sincerely, "How come Slughorn had poison in his office, though?"

"It was in a bottle of mead," Lavender said, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

Theo frowned, "So someone was trying to poison Slughorn?"

"No," Lavender said. She cleared her throat and looked up, "Slughorn was going to give it to Dumbledore."

So someone was trying to kill Dumbledore. That bastard, he thought, excusing himself from the conversation and laying in wait in the common room that night. Wherever Draco was, whatever he was doing, he had to come to bed at some point.

At 2.30 am, he stepped into the common room, and Theo pushed him back into the corridor. He shoved him through a mirror into a secret alcove and hissed, "You're trying to kill Dumbledore?"

Draco went as pale as a sheet, "Theo…I…I…you don't understand."

"Then make me understand how the Dark Lord expects you, a stupid little boy, to kill the most powerful wizard of all time," Theo said, pressing Draco into the wall.

Draco gasped to catch his breath, "He doesn't. He expects me to fail, and when I do, he's going to kill my parents."

Theo loosened his grip on Draco as his friend's eyes filled with tears, "I have to do it, Theo, or he's going to kill all of us."

Theo let go of Draco and sighed, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a hug, "You should have told me, you fucking idiot. What were you thinking? You could have killed two innocent people with your shitty plans."

"I didn't mean for the Bell girl to get hurt," Draco said quietly, "She was supposed to deliver the locket to Dumbledore."

"And Slughorn was meant to give that mead to Dumbledore, not Weasley," Theo said, "I know, but this has to stop, Draco."

"I know," Draco said, "I'm working on something. I just need more time."

"Let me help you," Theo said, his hand still on Draco's shoulder.

Draco shook his head and brushed Theo's hand away, "You can't."

"Draco-"

"You can't!" Draco snapped, taking the chance to dash away while he still had it.

Theo cursed and kicked the wall as he watched Draco stalk down the corridor, out of sight.

You're just another thing I shouldn't be doing…

Around a week after that argument, Theo fell off the deep end again. Lavender and Ron fought, supposedly about the fact Ron had feelings for Hermione Granger.

Theo was wandering the grounds as he often did when he saw her sitting by a lake, throwing pebbles into the water passive-aggressively.

"What's up with you, Brown?" Theo asked, sitting down next to her on the gravelly sand.

Lavender looked over at him, "That smells disgusting."

Theo raised an eyebrow, "Judgy," he said, blowing smoke in her face.

Lavender scoffed, "I know about your reputation, you know. I have a boyfriend, and I won't let you seduce me."

Theo snorted, "Who says I want to seduce you? You're like a knock off Hermione Granger."

Lavender glared at him and threw a pebble in his direction, "Why is everyone so interested in her anyway? She's a total prude!"

Theo smirked, he had said that on purpose to get under her skin, but there was a bit of truth in it. Lavender's skin was a little darker than Hermione's, and her hair a little lighter. Her eyes weren't as warm, her smile not as soft. But there were certain physical similarities there, and they were both Gryffindors, of course.

"Touched a nerve, did I?"

Lavender threw a pebble into the lake, "I think Ron's is love with her."

"Isn't half of this school?" Theo asked, leaning back against the rock, "She turned Viktor Krum's head. Draco Malfoy thinks she's beautiful. Weasley definitely has a thing for her, probably Potter too."

"She's nothing special," Lavender huffed, "She wouldn't even put out for Krum, an international Quidditch player, and she turned him down. He said he respected her all the more for it, like whatever. Guys like sex. They don't respect girls for turning them down."

Theo bit back a smile because that was such a Hermione Granger thing to do, and if he was honest, he would respect her for that too.

"You didn't lose your virginity to Ron bloody Weasley, did you?" He asked.

Lavender rolled her eyes, "Maybe."

Theo snorted, "Oh man, I feel sorry for you. I thought you were on a level with Annie and Sally, but it seems your type is more of a boy than a man."

Lavender shrugged, "He's kind of awkward, but he tries hard."

Theo snorted, "So he's a trier? Aw, bless him. Well, if you two don't make up, you know where I am."

He got up and winked at her as he began to walk away.

After a few seconds, Lavender jogged after him, and Theo chuckled. She was nothing if not predictable.

"But, you said I'm a knock-off Hermione Granger," Lavender said, falling into step with him as they walked into the entrance hall.

Theo shot her a grin, "I didn't say that was a bad thing, did I? You're right, Granger is a prude. I'd never get anywhere with her, you on the other hand? Well, you've already put out for Ron Weasley."

Lavender glared at him, "I do have standards, you know?"

"You could have fooled me," Theo chuckled.

Lavender grabbed his hand and pulled him into the upper dungeon corridor, "I do, and I'll prove it to you," she said, yanking him into a broom corridor and locking the door.

Theo grinned – Gryffindors, so easy to play.

Lavender pressed him against the wall and kissed him, "Don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't," Theo said, lifting her and pressing her back against the wall.

Lavender wrapped her legs around him and gasped when she felt Theo's cock press against her through her pants.

He smirked, "Bigger than Weasley?"

"Stop being smug," She murmured against his lips.

Not being smug didn't come easily to Theo, so he kissed Lavender instead, and he won the battle for control of the kiss easily. She completely gave in to him, and he knew she'd be an easy screw.

They didn't have long until curfew, so Theo sped things up. It had been months since he'd had a shag anyway, so he was pretty desperate too. He frantically pulled at her blouse and unclasped her bra, freeing her sizeable tits.

Theo dipped his head down and hungrily took one of her nipples in his mouth, then he sucked it. Lavender moaned and wriggled against him. Theo took the other nipple in his hand with a chuckle and teased it with his fingers; Lavender moaned louder in response.

"Just fuck me, Nott," Lavender half-ordered, half-begged, "It's lights out soon. I don't want to get caught."

Theo didn't argue. He pulled his cock out of his trousers and pulled her pants to the side. With one thrust, he buried himself inside her, and she threw her head back against the wall.

"Oh, fuck!"

"Definitely bigger than Weasley then," Theo murmured against her neck, "You're so fucking tight, Lavender."

The dirty talk made Lavender moan, and Theo chuckled against her neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

Theo slammed into her as hard as he could, making her tits bounce. He occasionally grabbed them and teased her by licking or sucking them, and Lavender clearly hadn't been shown this much attention from Ron because she came so fast, crying out in pleasure and moaning loudly as she did so.

As she came, her pussy pulsed around his dick which was throbbing and begging for release. While she rode out the high of her orgasm, Theo thrust into her hard, then pulled out and groaned.

"Fuck," he breathed as he came on her grey skirt.

Lavender caught her breath and cleaned herself up, then burst into tears, "I cheated on Won-Won!"

Theo rolled his eyes, "Thank you for the best sex of my life, Theo. Oh Merlin, how is Ronald Weasley's tiny cock ever going to compare now? That's how I envisioned this ending."

"You're horrible!" Lavender said, leaving the broom cupboard in floods of tears.

Theo made a face, "Yeah, so they say," he muttered as he uttered a freshening charm and headed back to the Slytherin common room.

Shouldn't be doing….

Needless to say, Lavender didn't approach him again, and he did keep quiet about that one. He didn't want anyone to know he'd been the person who seduced Lavender into cheating on Ron. He'd get cursed by Potter or Granger, and neither of those things was high on his to-do list.

He went back to his cigarettes and his unhealthy coping mechanisms as the year wore on. Easter came and went. Theo stayed at school because he didn't want to spend a week with his father. Lacey sent him some homemade easter cakes, which brightened up his entire day.

Theo shared them with Sadie out by the lake. They laughed about stupid things and threw marshmallows to the giant squid, and despite the war raging outside their front doorstep, he felt better than he had in weeks.

When the Easter holidays came to an end, life returned to normal, and Theo fell back into the state of semi-permanent depression that he almost always occupied. When he had Sadie in his life, he felt a little better, and when he had Draco on talking terms with him, he felt a little better. But neither of those things seemed to happen very often, and never at the same time either.

Theo came to realise that year that he needed both of them to function. His lack of coping mechanisms that year had taught him that much. But on the bright side, he had been able to keep his dark mark a secret, despite the number of girls he had been with over the last few months.

In the middle of April, Lavender and Ron broke up. Theo figured that Ron seemed pretty happy, or maybe it was relieved. Lavender was miserable and bitter about it, she eyed Theo up across the hall, and he knew it was only a matter of time until she came onto him publicly in an effort to piss off Ron.

Before she could try anything, Katie Bell came back to Hogwarts, which shook Draco to the core. Theo had been getting up to go and warn his best friend when Draco walked into the hall and saw her. He paled, turned and ran from the hall.

Theo jogged after him and followed him into a girls bathroom on the second floor. When Theo stepped into the semi flooded bathroom, he heard retching, so he waited by the sink for Draco to resurface.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not fucking okay, Theo!" Draco snapped, "And I don't want to talk to you about how not okay I am. I don't cope by filling my body with poison and fucking every skank I can find in this school like you do, so just do me a favour and fuck off."

Theo took it a little more personally than usual. Probably because he had been making a concentrated effort not to be that guy, he glared at Draco and said, "Fine, suit yourself."

He stalked out of the bathroom and hid out in an alcove in the upper dungeons. He had hoped that he wouldn't be found, but after some time, a female voice said.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Theo looked up at the owner of the voice. It was a Hufflepuff girl that he recognised, she was in his year, and she was relatively pretty. She had dark blonde hair, freckles and light blue eyes.

"Megan, right?"

Megan nodded, "Theo, yeah?"

All that Theo knew about Megan was that she was a bit of a party girl. Her father was a lord and a member of a powerful Welsh family, so she liked to rebel – hence the short skirt and the blouse that wasn't quite buttoned up fully.

"We're having a party in the Hufflepuff common room? Do you want to come?"

Theo had nothing better to do with his evening, so he smiled and got to his feet, "Yeah, sure."

She led him to the common room and crawled through a secret passageway into it. Theo was positive she'd crawled in first on purpose, she had no tights on, and it had given him a fine few of her arse in a bright red thong.

When they got to the common room, Megan got him a drink and turned the music up. She danced with him, a little too close, grinding her body against his in front of her the entire common room.

Then she pulled herself close to him and whispered, "Come to my dorm?"

Theo didn't tend to say no when a girl asked him that, especially when they were attractive. He took her hand and let her drag him into the dorm room. She pushed him down on her circular four-poster bed, then she drew the curtains and put up a silencing charm.

The sex itself wasn't anything spectacular, but it was a release and bloody hell; it was one he'd needed.

When Megan fell asleep, Theo tried to sneak out, but he encountered Susan on the way, which was awkward.

"Uh…hi Susan."

Susan raised an eyebrow at him, "Megan's terrible with silencing charms. The whole dorm heard that."

Theo smirked, "So they know I'm a damn good shag with a big-"

"Quit it," Susan cut in, "And grow up. You really need to stop sleeping with people to make yourself feel better."

The words cut deep, but Theo tried not to let it show.

"It was just a bit of fun."

"Yeah, it always is with you, Theo," Susan said, pushing past him into her dorm room.

Theo shoved the hurtful comment aside and left the Hufflepuff common room. When he got back to the Slytherin common room, it was to discover that Draco had gotten into a duel with Potter in that bathroom where Theo had abandoned him earlier and that Potter had almost killed him.

Sadie was the one who had waited up to tell him the news.

"But you were too busy shagging your latest cheap whore to be there for him." Sadie said coldly as she drew her cardigan close, "And that sums up this year, doesn't it?"

Theo cursed and kicked anything in sight after she left. Then he threw himself onto a sofa and let his head drop into his hands.

He had been a shit friend. Not just to Draco, but to Sadie too. He had been so consumed in his own self-loathing that he hadn't been there for the people who needed him, and that had to change.

Theo devoted the rest of the school year to Draco. But nothing worked.

Draco wouldn't tell Theo what he was doing. He wouldn't accept Theo's help. He wouldn't let Theo tell anyone else about the plan to kill Dumbledore.

And it all came to a head in June when Dumbledore died. Nobody really knew what happened that night apart from the people who had been there. But Dumbledore's body has fallen from the Astronomy Tower, and there had been a battle.

In the aftermath of it, the Slytherins who were left sat silently in the common room. Draco and Snape had disappeared after the battle. Some people said that Draco killed Dumbledore, and Snape covered it up. Other people said that Snape waded in and killed Dumbledore to protect Draco.

"He can't have done it," Sadie said quietly.

"Oh, I don't know," Daphne said darkly, "I think he's capable of it."

"So do I," Tracey agreed.

Theo scoffed and got to his feet, "You'd agree with her if she said the earth was flat, Tracey."

Tracey glared at him, "Of course you'd take Draco's side."

"I'm not on anyone's side!" Theo snapped, "All I know is that with Dumbledore dead, Voldemort might actually win this war. When we come back to school next year…fuck knows what we're coming back to."

Daphne swallowed and looked up, "So whose side are you on?"

"My own side," Theo said firmly, "Nobody else's. I don't know if Draco killed Dumbledore. I fucking hope he didn't because if he did? Well, I can forgive a lot of things, but I can't love my best friend if he's a murderer."

Sadie sighed and let her head drop down.

Tracey pulled a hipflask out of her pocket, "I need firewhiskey."

"I need a cigarette," Theo said, stealing away from the common room before they could question him any further.

The grounds were busy. They had been since Dumbledore's body had been discovered late the previous night. Flowers were being laid everywhere, and people were sitting on verges crying.

Theo saw Harry Potter sitting under a tree with Ginny Weasley, and he just looked as defeated as Theo felt.

Whatever happened next was going to be hard. It was going to involve a summer spent at Nott Manor with his father, for a start. And the war that everyone had been talking about? Well, Theo was pretty damn sure it was here now.

He hid out in the forest all afternoon, smoking cigarettes and harvesting something a little more interesting from a greenhouse on his way back to the common room. All of the younger students had gone to bed, but some seventh and sixth years remained.

"Where the fuck have you been all day?" Daphne asked hotly.

"Smoking a shop down, by the smell of it," Sadie replaced distastefully.

"Oh, whatever, Sadie," Theo said nastily, "Look what I got on the way back."

He waved some leaves at the others, and Tracey raised an eyebrow, "Is that mandrake leaf?"

Theo grinned, "You bet. Which of you cowards is going to smoke it with me?"

"Not me," Sadie said coolly.

"Course not you, you're a bloody prude," Theo said, nudging her off the sofa.

"And you are disgusting!" Sadie spat, stalking away from him towards the dorm rooms.

Daphne glared at Theo, "I second that," she said before following her friend.

"The Ice Queen, scared to use a little recreational drug," Theo said offhandedly, "Tracey?"

Tracey was the bad girl of the three, the wild one, as much as Daphne liked to pretend that was her. She rolled her eyes, "Fine. I'll try anything once but not here."

Theo grinned and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the boy's dormitories. His room was abandoned. He didn't know where Crabbe and Goyle were, but they hadn't been seen since Draco's disappearance, so Theo figured they were getting questioned by McGonagall.

Blaise was hiding in his bed, as he often did. He liked his own company above others most of the time.

Theo prepared the leave and handed a makeshift joint to Tracey, comprised of mandrake leaf and muggle cigarettes.

"This is going to taste disgusting," Tracey said as Theo lit them with his wand.

"Ah, who cares," Theo said, taking a precautionary drag, "Huh, it's okay, actually."

Tracey did the same and made a face, "There's something wrong with your tastebuds if you think that's okay," she remarked.

"It'll get better the more of it you smoke," Theo said.

And low and behold, it did. The whiskey from Tracey's flask that got mixed in with the flavour probably helped to be fair. Before long, they were both happily buzzed, the world around them having faded away to create that floating feeling.

Theo said Tracey looked hot when she was spaced out, and then they were kissing. It was messy and lazy, and they both giggled a lot. It was a miracle either of them remembered to cast protective charms or cast them correctly because they were so drunk and high.

The sex was just as messy, and afterwards, Theo couldn't remember any of the fine details. He knew Tracey was a virgin, and when he came down from the high, he felt like shit for taking that away from her.

If he was honest with himself, he just felt shit about the aftermath in general. They both passed out then Tracey woke up looking pretty ill. Theo helped her to the bathroom and held her hair while she threw up, then he ran a bath and sat her in it, sitting by the side with his hands resting in the water.

"I'm never smoking anything again," Tracey complained.

"I'm sorry," Theo said.

Tracey looked up blearily, "I was the idiot who agreed to it."

"Nah," Theo said, looking down at the water, "I'm sorry for sleeping with you. I'm sorry for….taking advantage of you, like I did with Susan and Merlin knows how many others."

He shook his head and looked at her tearfully, "I'm just so fucking sorry, Trace."

Tracey swallowed and closed her eyes, "And I appreciate that, Theo but….just take it as a lesson. Next year, assuming there is a next year, god knows if we'll all survive the bloody summer…just don't be like this."

Theo nodded, "I won't be," he said, leaning across the bath to kiss her on the forehead, "I promise."

Tracey sighed and lay back in the bath, "How are you not dying right now?"

"That might not have been the first time I've smoked that," Theo admitted sheepishly.

Tracey opened an eye and said, "You're gonna die young."

"Yeah," Theo said, giving her a half-hearted smile, "That's kinda the plan."

The students stayed for Dumbledore's funeral, then they were all packed onto the Hogwarts Express and sent home.

Theo shared a compartment with the twisted sisters and Sadie, just like he had on the trip to school. It had come rather full circle when he thought about it.

They didn't talk about much of consequence. They were all scared to discuss the possibility of what the next year would bring to mention it. Nobody brought up Draco, although it was killing Theo, not knowing what had happened to him.

It was a sad trip, which was kind of to be expected.

The train pulled into the platform at the end of it, and Theo looked out to find his stepmother and Lacey waiting for him. He turned to the others in the carriage.

"See you in September, all being well," He said.

Tracey nodded. She stepped forward and kissed his cheek, "Keep yourself alive, whatever it takes."

Theo nodded and hugged her, "I'll do my best."

Sadie watched the exchange with something akin to jealousy.

Daphne grabbed her trunk and sighed, brushing her hand across Theo's in a small gesture of comfort, "Write to me?"

"Course," Theo said, grabbing her hand to make her stop long enough for him to kiss her forehead, "Keep yourself and Astoria safe."

"Always," Daphne said with a weak smile as she stepped out of the compartment.

Lastly, Theo turned to Sadie.

"Catch you later?" He offered.

Sadie stepped forward and hugged him tearfully, "You'll be okay this summer, won't you?"

Theo faked a smile and nodded, "I always am, aren't I?"

Her fear was apparent in her eyes, but she managed a slight nod all the same.

"Look after yourself," Theo said, brushing away a tear and leaning down to kiss her on the cheek.

Sadie just nodded once more, so Theo stepped out onto the platform and walked towards his stepmother. She forced a false smile onto her face when she saw him, but when Theo got close enough, he saw her glamour charm flicker for a fraction of a second – exposing a scar across her cheek and two black eyes.

"Theo!" Lacey said, hugging him tightly as if she expected him never to return.

Theo hugged her back and lifted her, breathing in the scent of pine – from the fallen needles in the section of the garden that she liked to play in. It was the only scent of home that made him happy.

"I'm so glad you're home," She said happily.

Theo caught his stepmother's eye, "Yeah, me too, Lace," he lied.

Salvadora took his hand and squeezed it tightly, "We will keep each other safe this summer, as we always have done," she whispered as she hugged him.

Theo drew back and nodded, glancing back at Sadie one last time. The blonde girl waved from where she stood with her parents, and Theo offered a half-wave back before leaving the platform with his stepmother and half-sister, with no idea what the summer, or in fact the future, had in store for him.

* ~ And the story continues in Last Call for Sin ~ *