If you don't read Soft Place to Land, this won't make sense. A look into Mal & Killian's relationship, along with Killian's life as a step-dad. Milah and Weaver aren't looked upon kindly. Don't like, don't read.
"I don't have time for this!"
The final bolt in Killian's prosthetic locks into place as his wife's scream can be heard across the house. He gets out a small groan. At one point, both of them having accents is what lead them to one another. In Storybrooke, everyone is cookie cutter with the same basic look and voice. He came to the States from Ireland when he was 20, Milah had made her way over from the UK around then as well. Their paths crossed early on, but both were in other relationships. It took a decade before she divorced her ex, Stephan Weaver, and he broke up with Ariel. They had a whirlwind romance. Married within a year, he truly thought she was the one. But maybe the whole time it was just the connection to her then 4-year-old son. 9 years later, Bailey is still why he's here. The novelty of Milah's accent has long since worn off.
Milah storms back into the room. Her wild dark curls dance around her as she grabs hold of her briefcase.
"What's wrong with Bailey?" Killian asks.
"God if I know, he's pretending like he's sick again."
"Have you considered maybe he is sick?"
"I know my own son, Killian," Milah fixes him with a Look. Killian just nods, even though, no. She doesn't. "He's faking it so he can get out of a test or something. Look, I have an important meeting in 20 minutes. I need you to handle it."
It doesn't matter that he's supposed to be at the diner himself in 10. His job never matters. Milah works in the corporate world and of course, things come up. But if he had a nickel for every time she undermined his position as manager…well, he could probably afford a better prosthetic.
"Yeah, sure," he says anyway. He digs out his cell and sends a quick text to Mary Margaret letting her know that he'll be late and where to find the spare key. Regina has an important doctor's appointment, so she won't be coming in. "Whatever you need."
Milah huffs. "And you want to add another kid to this mess?"
He doesn't. Not anymore. Early in their marriage he broached the subject and Milah tore it down quickly. Her pregnancy with Bailey had been trying enough. He respected that and in time realized as much as he might want more kids, this was not the marriage to bring them into. Doesn't mean Milah won't throw that secret wish back in his face.
"I'm crazy," Killian replies dryly. He just wants her to leave. "See you tonight."
She pecks the side of his mouth before leaving. Killian waits until her car has pulled out of the drive to go into Bailey's room. It's changed a lot over the years. Long gone are the glow in the dark constellations Killian once got his back int a twist trying to put them on the ceiling. The Magic Treehouse series on his bookshelf has been updated with Kerouac novels. Astronaut sheets replaced with plain navy blue. In the place of his arts and crafts table is a huge desk. The only real sign of Bailey's childhood is a stuffed dog that Killian gave him the first time they met. He had never dated someone with a kid before and nervous beyond all belief. Liam suggested a stuffed animal.
"What kid doesn't like dogs?"
At the time, Bailey shyly accepted it and stood hesitantly by his mom for the rest of the night. Killian was sure he failed, messed it all up. And then when Killian got ready to go, Bailey planked his legs with a hug. They've been inseparable ever since.
Killian gets the divorced parents thing. His mum and dad split before he started secondary school. A bitter divorce, not unlike Milah and Stephan's, he and Liam were shuttled back and forth. They dealt with the heavy gossip at their very Catholic school who reminded them that their parents were still married in the eyes of God. When his father remarried a few years later, one of the nuns was a bit too happy to tell Killian he was going to hell for it.
Brennan Jones probably does have a spot reserved from him beyond the fiery gates. For all the reasons, divorce isn't one of them.
He understands Bailey. An unbiased outlet, he allows him to vent about Stephan's new girlfriend or how Milah constantly tries to upstage them. Killian doesn't even say anything the few times that Bailey has slipped and called him "Dad". He's known this little-no, not so little anymore-kid since he was just a mop of brown curls hiding behind his mom's legs. Killian's not about to give up on him.
"Hey mate," Killian says softly. Bae is still laying beneath the covers, his stuffed dog not far from the pillow. One good look confirms that Bailey probably isn't sick, but he's not going to jump there just yet. "Your mum says you're not feeling too hot."
Bailey shrugs. "Stomach hurts."
Ah, a classic. Not a serious enough ailment to require a doctor's visit but could very well be played off as a 24-hour bug. Killian lays the back of his hand against Bailey's forehead. Slightly elevated but he's also under a million blankets. He guarantees if he grabbed the thermometer, it'd show up as normal.
"I see." Killian sits on the bed. "Well then you probably shouldn't go to school today. You stay home and I'll call your uncle Liam."
Bailey makes a face. "You don't have to do that."
"Ah, but I do. He's the only one with the recipe for that special broth. The one that magically cures all ailments. Works almost as well as Vicks."
Bailey narrows his eyes and Killian smirks. Alice's broth could probably cure most things. It's also one of the vilest concoctions on planet Earth. Liam once said they probably shouldn't throw it away but rather label it as toxic waste. That earned him a smack up the head from Alice. Killian's made it a time or two for Bailey and he's nearly gagged it all up but it did cure his ear infection faster than the antibiotics did.
"You suck," Bailey mumbles, pushing the covers off.
Killian laughs briefly, ruffling his hair. That gets him an eye roll and Bailey quickly smoothing it down. "I know. Now tell me why you don't want to go to school. Mum seems to think it has something to do with a test you didn't study for."
Another eye roll. "Mom doesn't know shit." Killian fixes him with a look and Bailey sighs. "Mom doesn't know anything. Better?"
"I'll allow it. So, if it's not a test, what is it? Girl trouble?"
"God, no! Why are you so embarrassing?"
"Because I'm your da…" He trails off, both of them turning a bit red. Killian clears his throat. "Because it's my job." He ticks off his fingers. "Not school, not a girl. C'mon, Bae. Spill it."
Bailey sighs, rolling over onto his side. "It's stupid."
"Hey, if it's bothering you, it's not stupid. Talk to me."
Bailey runs a finger over the edge of his pillow. "I was supposed to spend this weekend with my dad. But he called and said Lacey wants to go to the cabin. I thought…never mind, like I said, it's stupid."
Killian frowns, reaching down to gently stroke his step-son's curls. Stephan hasn't always been a neglectful father. He works long hours with his job, but did his best to show up for Bailey when it counted. He even managed to swallow his pride and get along with Killian, for the sake of the boy. And then he got to know Lacey a little better. She's only 10 years older than Bailey with an addiction to fun. Stephan's been too busy acting like a teenager lately to spend a lot of time with his only kid.
"It's not stupid," Killian repeats. "I'm sorry he cancelled."
Bailey shrugs. "I just thought if he thought I was sick, he'd stay home. Which probably wouldn't have worked. He knows I have you."
Killian softly smiles. "And you do. I'm always gonna be here."
"Which is great. But we both know Mom and Dad use it to their advantage. They know you'll pick up the slack and go do whatever they want."
He nods, rubbing Bailey's back. "I know, kid. It absolutely sucks. You deserve better than that."
It's another reason why he doesn't want a baby with Milah. He's seen how easy it is for her to pass the buck to Stephan or himself when things get rough. She loves Bailey, no question, but she's probably the one who should've gotten weekend custody in the divorce. Stephan's schedule is probably the only reason she didn't.
Killian can't change his wife or his ex. All he can do is be there for the kid when they're not.
"I know it's not the same and I know I'm not Stephan," Killian says. "But I'll call your uncle Liam for real and we'll do something fun. The weather's nice enough for a boat trip." Bailey rolls over. A few years ago, that'd have him beaming. He's starting to realize that bribes of fun days at sea or candy aren't enough to keep the kid happy. "C'mon. It'll be fun."
Bailey sighs. "Alright. If you want to."
"I do," Killian says, trying to keep his voice light. "Now, get up and get dressed."
"Do I have to go to school?"
Killian consults the vintage Superman alarm clock. Even if Bailey gets ready in the next 5 minutes, he'll miss the first bell. All absent calls go to the landline, which Killian can easily erase when they get home.
"No, but you can't stay home alone either. You can come with me to the diner and let Mary Margaret spoil you with treats because you're just so adorable."
Bailey beams for the first time all morning, clearly choosing to ignore the adorable comment. He climbs out of bed and heads to the wardrobe.
"Hey," Killian pushes himself up, ignoring the way his back cracks. "If your mum asks…."
"My make-believe Algebra test went great," Bailey replies with a wink.
Maybe he shouldn't be so proud of how much his step-son has begun to take after him, but Killian leaves the room with a grin.
The diner is loud, which only reminds Killian of his time in the Navy. Some veterans understandably can't handle all the hysteria, but Killian hates it more when it's quiet. It allows him to go too far deep into his mind. If he thinks about his affair for more than a few minutes, really thinks about the effects it could potentially have, he starts to feel the urge to drink. Even though he hasn't touched a drop in 5 years.
He tries to stay on the floor to assist with whatever's needed but they're well-staffed today. David is in attendance but Mary Margaret remains at the top of her game. Remy thawed some pies Regina stuck in the freezer, something she always does before her day off. They'll turn a profit today, which makes Granny smile when he reports it. She really took a chance on him and he doesn't want to screw that up. Bailey sits in a back booth with a torn seat that they no longer use. Mary Margaret and Mal bring him tons of treats, while he reads books or watches Netflix on his phone. Killian used to take him to the diner all the time when he was younger, but lately he's been just a bit "too cool" for that. He spends all his time with August Booth, scheming about one thing or another.
Eventually, Killian needs to attend to the books. He heads into what was once Granny's office. When he first got promoted to manager, it felt weird redecorating. Killian's kept it mostly the same, only adding a few pictures of Bailey and Liam.
It takes him a minute to realize that Mal is sitting behind the desk, a shot of bourbon surrounded by the massive files Killian hasn't put away yet. Killian tilts his head and shuts the door. Even pensive, Malina Drake-Diablos is the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on. Light blonde hair piled carefully atop her head, dark makeup that hides her true age. Even in the horrid red and white uniforms Granny insists upon, she adds her own flair. The first few buttons of the shirt are popped open with a lacy black bra beneath it. A collection of necklaces hangs above her cleavage, including the anchor one he gifted her for her 45th birthday.
"Hey, love," he says gently.
Mal's gorgeous blue eyes shoot up. "Sorry, I just…needed to think and I can't do that with Aurora giving every excruciating detail of her awesome open marriage."
Killian lets out a slight chuckle, but ultimately frowns. "If only she knew what some people would give to have that."
"Yeah."
"Is that all that's bothering you? Hades? Did he do something?"
Mal shakes her head. "Nothing more than usual. I um, I got a letter yesterday. From Lily."
Killian drops onto the corner of the desk, taking hold of her hand. "Is she okay?"
Mal has tried so hard to keep in touch with Lily, but since the girl wants little to do with her father, it's hard.
"She's great, actually. Living a few hours away, has a good job." Mal sighs. "She's getting married."
"Does she want you to come?"
"Yes. But the condition is that Hades can't." Mal knocks back the shot, making a face once she does. Killian should lecture her about drinking at work, but they've done a lot worse. "Which doesn't even bother me, you know? He's been a terrible father. Of course he shouldn't be there."
Killian nods, massaging her knuckles. "Then why are you so upset?"
"The fact that I let my life get this way. That my daughter has to write to me in secret and make me promise that I won't tell her own father she's getting married. I should've left his ass a long time ago."
"And walked away with what? You owed more on the house than what it was worth. There was so much combined debt. Walking away would've left you with no way to care for Lily. She understands that, I'm sure."
"She says she does now. Which makes me happy…but damn." Mal runs her fingers through her curls. "I'm 45 years old, hearing from my daughter for the first time in over a year and the only real thrill I have is fucking my boss."
Killian smirks. "I mean, I'm glad I'm a plus." Mal doesn't smile, so he regains his composure. "You're not a bad person, Mal. You're just someone who got hit with bad circumstances."
"I'm leaving him."
It takes a good minute for the words to register. Mal and Hades have been married for two decades. In spite of how Killian might feel for her, he was realistic when it came to their affair. He couldn't leave Milah until Bailey was 18. He knew deep down that Mal would never leave Hades. All they'd have were brief trysts in the break room or his truck.
This changes the game.
"I…I mean…I can't leave Milah. Not yet. Bae is still…"
Mal holds up a hand. "I'm not leaving him for you, Killian. I don't love him and I haven't for a very long time. We used my step-father's life insurance to pay off what we owed on the mortgage. There's still some debt but it'd be manageable." She lets out a deep breath, pouring herself another shot. "I'm doing this for me. For so long I thought when I'd leave, it would be for you or for Lily. And while I care deeply for you both, it had to be a choice for myself."
"I'm proud of you," Killian says. "I know that can't be easy."
Mal shrugs. "It's not. No matter what he's done, he was still my husband for 22 years. When I got married, I thought we'd be a family. We had Lily already…it made sense."
Killian gets that. No one enters marriage with the plan that it'll fail. He married Milah because he loved her. They were supposed to be incredibly happy. Life rarely, if ever, goes to plan.
"Do you ever think about what it'll be like?" Killian asks. "You're leaving Hades. In a few years, I'll divorce Milah. We can be together. But what if…"
"What if it being a secret is the only thing that makes it good?" Killian hesitantly nods and Mal laces her fingers through his. "I don't care how long this lasts. It started to just clear the bats out of my system…but I really care about you, Killian."
"I love you."
It's the first time he's allowed himself to say it out loud. They tear him up with guilt, knowing he's once again going back on the vows he recited in a Catholic church. Cheating is a sin, divorce is another.
In this moment, however, all that matters is the woman sitting before him. She cups his cheeks, resting her forehead to his.
"I love you too."