A giant nuclear neon fireball exploded over the horizon as Superman did battle against The Urpeler. "Argh! Curse you, you urple fiend!" Superman shouted as he threw a giant rubber chicken from a nearby convinence store at the Urpeler, who vomited a urple spew all over the chicken, turning it into a flock of doves. "UBAR POWAR!" The Urpeler shouted as he promptly shat out a giant egg filled with glitter that exploded with enough force to destroy the planet, but didn't since comic book logic was still in effect.
Superman then flew up and shoulder-checked The Urpeler into the Grubhub headquarters, killing about 90 employees and 100 advertising salesmen. Urpeler then transformed into his Super Ultra Mega Hyperdouken Kisaragi Sage Silver Eyes Urpingas form and started blitzing on Superman for all of two seconds. "Now it's my turn to do something normally percieved as impossible!" Superman shouted like the flying american he was as he spun around, creating a reality-eating vortex that turned Urpingas into hair gel and deposited him inside a giant space worms anus.
Superman's super-hearing then caught wind of another threat, the Kink Master, who was currently trying to beat Joe Biden to death with a giant cat o ninetails. "STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU FURRY!" Superman screamed with the force of a thousand overloaded speakers as he crashed through the roof of the White House, the noise actually made the Kink Master turned on and he started whipping himself. Superman then flew forward and falcon punched the Kink Master's face clean off, revealing that he was wearing a latex gimp mask and that underneath was an actual furry.
"Curses, my secret identitty has been revealed! Now i must fuck you!" Kink Master said as he pulled out a silicone dildo and flew forward, aiming to fuck the man of steel with it, but Superman shot a glare so intense that the Kink Master was banished to Horny Jail for the 3000000000000000000000th time. He then radioed in over the Watchtower intercom, "How are things over in Gotham, Bruce?"
Batman was doing his darndest to hold off the massive horde of non-anthro furries, who's stench was so bad that the skies had turned green and were periodically vomiting onto the streets of Gotham. Batman hurled a batarang at a fish fursuit, causing it to turn into a pack of sardines because it got cut. "Pretty good, how about the others?" Batman said as he yeeted a bug fursuit into another galaxy and exploded a lion with another batarang.
Elsewhere in the galaxy, Martian Manhunter and Cyborg were going back to back spinjitzu style on a bunch of cyborg alien demon angel mary sue ninjas who were firing rainbows from their eyes and throwing shuriken made out of hardened cum and piss. Cyborg used his 1334 hacker skillz to reprogram the ninjas into a bunch of porcelain ballerinas, which he then stuffed inside a bunch of cum jars for shits and giggles. Martian Manhunter, meanwhile, was using one of the ninja's massive hyper cocks like a handle as he slammed them against eachother with such repetitiveness that even the writers of Teen Titans Go! would be sick of it.
Suddenly, a loud "KEK" broke the sounds of everybody kung-fu fighting as an army of sweaty neckbeards came charging down the hills of Fuckawf Prime. "WE GOT NECKBEARDS INCOMING!" Shouted cyborg as he reconfigured his codpiece into a massive gun that turned almost all the neckbeards into funko pops that promptly exploded upon touching Fuckawf Prime's surface due to how toxic it was.
Suddenly, a universal message came through to everyone, including the new guys. "There's a big fucking raid at Area 51 these guys are seriously commited to it someone halp pls" Every superhero from the canon comics, however, was preoccupied with whooping the collective asses of whatever random thing they were doing right now so that left a bunch of new faces to handle shit.
At the gates of Area 51, Hulk-sized Kyles leapt over 10,00000 meters into the air before slam jamming onto the ground with the force of the Tsar Bomba while the weebs used their anime powers to literally weeb the airmen to death, but before they could get any further the sound of the Pepsiman theme song blaired out of nowhere. Suddenly from above came a whole bunch of new heroes, some looking stupider than others but still somehow retaining that air of heroism.
The first hero to step forward was Trollge, a man clad in darker-than-dark armor so dark it looked like he was a living black hole with the exception of his helmet, which was painted a blinding white to represent the Trollge. "Everyone gtfo or i'm ing the admin." A kyle's response by saying "TROLLGE COMICS FUCKING SUCK" sealed their fate. Harnessing the power of the Trollge, the man rose into the air as the oil and water inside him granted him the ability to fly, then started yeeting oily slashes down at the raiders below causing them to violently shoot upwards and into space where they turned into canned food.
Fanta Man took a swig of fanta, becoming hyper-powered and straight up dashing through a wave of Karen's so fast that their remains were polymorphed into more fanta, which didn't matter to Fanta Man since he was soon met with an absolute gigachad of a Kyle. The omega kyle attempted to One Punch Man the orange speedster, except he was so slow that his attack took approximately 100.68 days to land, during which Fanta Man used his incredible powers of Fantakinesis to forcefeed the Omega Kyle all the fanta behind him, causing him to explode into a giant pool of fanta.
Guts (no not THAT guts) shot his blood vessels out from his wrist like a fucked-up 18+ Spiderman as he tethered onto a furry and sucked the blood out of his body like a vampire, only for him to immediately puke it back into his face so hard he ended up leaving a crater in the ground so massive scientists mistook it for a pair of giant alien asscheeks. As he pissed blood to fly around, a Karen spotted him and instantly started to skywalk towards him, assuming he was the manager. However, the temperature of Guts's boiling blood piss was so hot that when it washed over her, she melted into even more blood that exploded in a giant red heat wave.
Employer ran around bitchslapping people with his briefcase and turning them into gold statues which he promptly stored in his hammerspace. A bunch of gamer girls then came spazzing in along with a fuckton of speedrunners, except they barely did anything since Employer literally bribed them to commit suicide due to them living in a society only the Joker (the comic version) would be proud of. Accrewing all of his IMF loans, Employer transformed into a giant golden statue with spikes not even Doomsday would find ironic and started wreaking havoc.
The Chemotherapist used his Chemokinesis to hurl giant blobs of Bromine on people, giving them Bromine poisoning before they promptly turned into ice statues since bromine is a fire eater. Chemotherapist then started yeeting all the vials he could scrounge up all over the place, scattering all the known and unknown elements of the periodic table of elements practically from here to mars as people were either incinerated, disintegrated, incintegrated or turned into pools of silly putty for all those 80's nerds.
Finally, when almost all of the wave was down, a giant fucking PVZ wave logo showed up reading "O SHIT HERE COMES CHAD THUNDERCOCK", and from the fog of war came a man with a massive dick and equally massive pompador who only talked in bababooey's and nothing more. "It's slim jim!" Trollge screamed as Fanta Man attempted to wuju the fuck out of Chad Thundercock, only for him to nut so hard that Fanta Man was blasted into the Bootes Void for 1.00000000000000000 miliseconds.
Trollge attempted to harness the power of troll science, but Chad spawned a scientific factoid sheet that caused Trollge to get an existential crisis and fucking explode into another dimension. Employer tried bribing Chad but his suitcase was flattened underneath the massive girth of Thundercock's massive codpiece, same with Chemotherapist as he tried exposing Chad to uranium.
As the evil Chad Thundercock gave of a sinister laugh that sounded like a horse deepthroating a whale, Fanta Man returned from his trip as he partnered up with Guts. "Looks like it's up to us, shitter." "My names Fanta Man you cuck!" "Don't care, didn't ask." The two then raced towards Chad Thundercock as he let out a booming, smarmy bababooey in response, just as Trollge reentered this dimension.
The trio flew towards Chad, who started cumming every fantastical element from his massive shlong, only for Trollge to morph into the monster known as Amorgus and bite down on Chad's cock as the amogus theme blared for no apparent reason. Fanta Man ran up his leg and started hosenka kicking his cheek while Guts used his guts (pun intended) to try and rip Chad's raging boner off him. Fanta Man eventually used his Fantakinesis to create a giant Fantakosho of fanta energy, temporarily unbalancing Chad Thundercock as his erection pointed towards the sky. With his weakpoint exposed, Fanta Man ran up as the Amorgus Trollge pulled back and Guts started stabbing his peen with his bone spikes, but it would truly take a Fansengan to the base of his weiner to do the job.
With a mighty rip like a tissue soaked in cum, Chad's Thundercock was ripped clean off as he let out a bababooey of pain, Amorgus then using it like a spear to impale his left pectoral Glubock and causing milk and shit to spray out from the wound. Guts then used his meat powers to turn Chad into a massive set of ribs, which he then cast into the underworld to be barbequed in Hell's Kitchen by the long thought dead devil chef, Gordon Ramsey. As the three applauded, they realized something, "Shouldn't the others be back?" And just then, the others reappeared like nothing happened.
As the JLA and Avengers touched down, they gasped at the strikingly chaotic scene before them, "This looks like the end result of a crackfic brought to life" Batman said in a meta moment. "Thank you for defending Area 51, Trollge", Superman said with a Jerma smile, "It was no problem Superman. They needed to escape gravity, and i gave them that option."
Then they fought a reality god and saved the world.
The end. XD