this fic is about Wheels's reaction to the sexual assault he goes through in the DJH episode 311 "Taking Off (1)", Erica's abortion (in DH 101/102) and Heather's reaction to it as someone who was raised extremely religious (as shown in DH 112 Natural Attraction) and in part also about Lucy and Susie's sexual assault from their teacher (DJH 202 and 212).
If you can't or shouldn't read about these situations for your safety/health, do not proceed.
At lunch the quad is some sort of battlefield. After over half a year at Degrassi High they have earned their place there, but Heather can very easily remember the fear they felt as newcomers.
It was what, eight months ago? The school year is weeks from the end, just a couple of dances and English projects in the way of the summer. They have all the rights to eat there.
The Zits know it too, casually hanging out at one of the tables. Wheels is on one of the long sides, eating the almost-lasagna the caf offers that day. His friends are both on the other side. He is dutifully ignoring his math textbook, open next to him.
Studying has always been more of an idea than an actual action for Wheels, and as spring awakens in Toronto it sounds like straight up fiction. Especially math. The only exponential thing he wants in his life was their rise to stardom, not equations. Still, at some point, he has to start doing it. He could ask Snake for help, he's a decent teacher and already knows these stuff.
Heather sits next to him. «Hi!»
They aren't in the "we used to be friends and this is weird" phase of their relationship anymore, but awkwardness is still in the way. He moves himself closer to her on the bench and puts his hand around her waist. «Hey»
She kisses him. Joey fakes puking. Poor guy, heartbroken and with a taken best friend.
«What are you doing this afternoon?» Heather asks.
Wheels slaps the math book. «Studying, there's exams coming up»
Heather smiles, a bit flirting. «Wouldn't it be better if someone from the academic program tutored you?»
Wheels doesn't realize what she is saying at first. Most of his friends are in the academic program, even Joey (although he was a year behind), so it takes him some seconds to realise she meant herself. «I would love that. Right after school?»
«We have rehearsals» Joey interrupts.
Wheels doesn't know whether to invite her. It's a girlfriend thing, and she is his girlfriend, but it still feels like he is asking her too much, like a marriage proposal. He is abysmally bad at relationship pacing. «Right, well, she could listen» he turns towards her «and then from Joey's place we can go to the library.»
She squishes herself closer. «That's an option»
This Wheels understands quick. «Or at my place?»
Wheel's math books are awkwardly resting on their pages on the floor leaning on the bed, discarded quick nought by the two teens as the date part fo study date became the more prominent.
The make out is sloppy and enthusiastic. Usually, it's Heather to have her back to whatever they were pressed onto. It isn't a conscious desirino, just case mixed with habit.
But that time, since Wheels insisted on sitting basically on his pillows, he is the one laying, half against the headboard and half on the covers.
He runs his hand on the back of her spine, unsure whether to keep going at this intensity or not. Heather's hand instead runs up his left leg, coming to a rest almost at the crotch.
Wheels starts going through one year old feelings. Mainly fear. Being in a stranger's car, the stranger asking increasingly insistent questions, the car stopping in the middle of nowhere, realising the situation as the stranger's hand was… exactly where Heather's is.
He pulls back from the kiss. «I really need to study» he barely manages to say, out of breath, feeling like his heart is trying to beat its way out of his chest, and the chest is fighting back becoming tighter to stop it from beating at all.
It's not like he thinks about it often. Actually, he barely registered that moment. Left hidden in the back of the "that time I run away" pocket of his mind, swarmed by the more important things that happened in those days he does come back to often.
But Heather is there, overing over his book, and why is he keeping the book on his knees, and he can't stop thinking about that moment. His mind feels empty, but it's filled with that stupid travelling salesman.
The math feels like Amharic even more than usual, and Heather keeps forgetting they're not at the same level, that he's stupid. So stupid that he wouldn't pick up something is wrong when the guy you've hitched a ride from leaves the main road to go in what's barely a street, and keeps talking about how sex can't be a bad thing if you want it.
Oh, no Heather's smart, and she picks up that he's not fully there in very little time. «Do you feel okay?»
«I feel sick» and it's not a lie, his stomach has joined the internal organs revolution led by heart and lungs.
«Then there's no use continuing to study, or that I keep being here» Heather sounds worried, but not too much. «You should have told me you weren't feeling well»
It's not like he can. As of physically, he's lucky if he can collect thoughts of five words maximum at a time. Also "You know how everyone tells you not to hitchhike or you're going meet a pervert, they aren't lying or exaggerating" is not the kind of thing you casually drop in a conversation.