The rope was snapping.

"Cole…?"

Faster, faster, faster! Why wasn't he going faster?

Come on. Come on!

"I've got it…" Only, he didn't sound sure of himself.

Why? He was usually always…

The threads snapped again. Slowly. Loudly, as if wanting Jay to remember every horrible second of it all.

"Cole! Come on!"

"I'm trying! I'm—"

Slipping. The ladder was slipping.

"Cole!" The name tore from his throat with a ferocity that was bound to leave him hoarse later. "Grab my hand!"

And he reached out.

Or, he tried to reach out. Tried to grab his brother's hand before they lost him forever.

Forever was such a long time. Too long to live without—

"Cole!"

"I can't! Jay, you have to stretch farther!"

"I-I don't think I—"

"You have to! Jay! Come on! You have to reach farther!"

His cheeks felt wet and sticky, but he couldn't remember crying. Was he crying? His eyes stung from being overly dry as the wind whipped about his face.

So why—?

He was falling now. Cole was falling. No…

No!

Jay reached out, and this time, his arm obeyed the commands of his brain.

But he was too late. As usual.

Always too late…

No.

No!

"Cole!"

Why? Why was he always—?

When he wiped the tears away, his palm came back red. A splotchy, grisly red.

Blood.

His blood? Cole's blood.

No…

Cole was falling. He was dying.

His best friend was leaving him. Again.

Why did everyone always have to leave him? Ever since he was a newborn, people had been leaving him. And sometimes…

Jay tried to swallow down the sob rising in his throat as his own ladder—his perfectly stable rope ladder—was pulled back up into the Bounty.

But it caught in his throat, choking him. Suffocating him.

Gasping for air did nothing. There wasn't any air. Not anymore. Cole had taken it all with him when he'd fallen into the darkness.

When youlet the void devour him.

No…

No! Please, no…

Yes, ever since childhood, people had been leaving him. And sometimes…

… Sometimes, they never came back.

Cole…

Why couldn't you make it in time?

"Cole…"

Why didn't you stretch further?

"Cole!"

A strangled gasp stole Jay's breath away as his eyes snapped open.

Cole.

His scramble to slip out of bed quickly turned into a struggle, but soon his feet were on the floor; his manic gaze glued to Cole's bed.

Cole's empty bed.

No… Oh, please no! It was just supposed to be a dream, just another one of scaredy-cat Jay's crazy nightmares. Right?

But it was real. This time, it was real. Cole wasn't there. Why isn't he there?

After checking to make sure the rest of the team was still sleeping, Jay raced out of the bedroom and down the hall, popping his head into every room in his search for—

"Cole!" He skidded to a halt halfway through the kitchen door as he watched the illustrious Master of Earth stuff his face with the last piece of chocolate cake. It was left over from Nya's birthday celebration last week, but Jay didn't think she'd mind, and Cole had probably figured the same, which is why he—

No! Stupid brain! Focus, focus!

"I know, I know." It was Cole who got Jay's train of thought back on track with a light sigh. "My body is a temple, but Nya said I could have this last piece, and what better time to eat it then when you can't sleep, right—Ow!"

Jay registered the feeling of Kai's abandoned plastic cup in his hands about three seconds after it left his palm. After it hit Cole right in the neck.

After Cole bit out a yelp and a curse. "What the heck was that for?"

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" At Jay's accusation, Cole's expression morphed from anger to confusion faster than one of Nya's double backflips.

"Do what? Jay, what's going—?"

"Why'd you have to leave, huh? Can't I just wake up for once and everything be fine? And everyone be here? Is that too much to ask? Is it?"

"Jay—?"

"It is, isn't it? It always is! Why? Why can't—Ugh!" Throwing his arm into the air in frustration, Jay forced his mouth shut, stopping the tirade before he accidentally said something he might regret.

He had to catch his breath; center his thoughts.

Cole was here. He was fine. He just couldn't sleep and was doing the most Cole thing he could possibly do, and—Will you just knock it off? Do you honestly have to be going 24/7?

As he slumped down into one of the counter chairs, Jay wondered when exactly it was that he'd begun shouting at his own brain. Probably during that whole thing with Nadakahn. An involuntary shiver wracked his frame. No, it had to have been before that…

"Jay…?"

Cole. That's right. How could you forget what you even came down here for in the first place?

Come on, it is the kitchen.

True, but—

"Sorry," Jay mumbled, resting the side of his suddenly weary head in his palm. "Sorry, just ignore me. It's late and I don't know what I'm saying."

Like always.

A shadow fell over Jay and he glanced up in time to see Cole abandon his midnight snack and lean over the opposite side of the countertop. "Couldn't sleep, either?"

Jay just nodded his head, his gaze falling once more on the small trail of crumbs lining the counter.

"Nightmare?"

Another nod, short this time. Smaller. Because the less he confirmed its dreadful existence, the less real it might feel.

And Cole was there, right? He was fine. There was nothing left to worry about.

Except the erratic beating of his heart.

The rush of blood pumping through his cheeks and neck.

The dull buzz in his ears and the trembling of his hands.

Sure. Nothing to worry about…

"But it's done now. It's fine." I'm fine. "I just… need some water before I head back to bed."

"Ah. Water." Cole nodded as if all the secrets of the universe had just been bestowed upon him. "So, that's why you threw a cup at me?"

"I didn't mean to do that. Besides, I said I was sorry!"

"I know, and I forgive you, for sure. But it's not every night I get attacked by my best friend while I'm trying to eat cake. So, what's up?"

"I just told you." If he didn't look Cole in the eyes, he wouldn't cave.

Don't cave. Don't you dare cave!

After all, it wasn't Jay's fault Cole was so persuasive, so persistent. Why on earth do you think he was the leader before Lloyd came along m?

"Nightmare. Right. Got that. So… Do you wanna talk about—?"

"No."

"Come on. I'm the one who just got assaulted by a cup. I think I deserve to know."

Jay forced a shrug. "I don't remember any of it." The lie slipped off his tongue so easily, it was no wonder Cole was able to see right through it.

"Come on." Cole repeated. His voice was gentle now, almost soothing, yet Jay still kept his stare fixed on the chocolate crumbs. "What did you mean before? What do I keep doing to you?"

Jay's pursed lips didn't seem to deter Cole like he'd hoped they would.

Don't cave. Don't cave.

"Come on, Jay, I know you. If you couldn't remember your dream, you wouldn't be down here. Now, if you tell me what I keep doing to you, maybe I can fix it. Whatever it is, I'll stop. I promise."

At this declaration, which was spoken with such confident reassurance, Jay squeezed his eyes shut.

It was just a nightmare. Just a—

But it wasn't, was it?

It was real.

Every single time, it's real.

"Jay?" Cole's voice didn't rise above a whisper. "I'll stop, I promise. But I can't help you if I don't even know what I'm doing to make you so upset—"

"Dying," Jay choked out at last. "You keep dying."

The chilly silence that followed was suffocating, but that was just as well, seeing as Jay had been struggling for a proper breath since he'd flung himself out of bed.

"Jay… It was only a nightmare." Out of the corner of his eye, Jay saw Cole crack a smile that was probably supposed to be comforting. "And I'm here. It's okay now—"

"No, it's not!" Jay cried out. "It's not okay! It wasn't just a nightmare! It was real. It actually happened! Twice, Cole! It happened twice! Twice! First on the Day of the Departed, and then when you fell into the darkness. You can do a lot of cool things, but you can't stop yourself from dying! You can try, but you can't, and you didn't!"

"Hey, Jay, calm down!"

"How long will it last, huh? How long until you're gone again and we have to mourn your death for a third time?"

"Jay, it's okay!"

"Didn't you hear me? It's not okay!"

"But I'm here now! Look at me! I'm fine. There's nothing to—"

"Sure," Jay bit out a sardonic laugh, "you're fine now. But what if it happens again, huh? What if, next time, you don't come back? What if you're not fine? What if—?"

"Jay, you have to calm down, okay?" Though Cole's hands now gripped his shoulders, Jay still felt like the world was spinning; spiraling out of control as he fought to keep his thumping heart from bursting clean out of his chest. "You have to breathe, okay? Breathe with me. Come on, Jay, breathe!"

Only when Jay sucked in a ragged breath did he realize just how long his lungs had been screaming for air.

"There," Cole sighed, his relief palpable. "Just breathe for a minute, okay?"

Jay could only nod. And breathe. Breathe. Just… He blew out a calming sigh. Breathe…

A few moments passed, but this time, the silence wasn't as life sucking. It wasn't as suffocating.

And for the first time since the nightmare, Jay could finally catch his breath.

"Better?" Cole whispered after another minute or so.

Jay nodded again. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I… I didn't realize how much this was affecting you. How much it was hurting you…"

"It's fine, it's—"

"No, Jay, it's not. You said so yourself. It's not fine and I can't keep pretending that it is." Cole blew out a breath as Jay held his. "When we're out there together as a team, it's so easy to act like this is all a game. Like we're the movie heroes swooping in to save the day—unstoppable and invincible. And the truth is, we're not, and we never will be. Yeah, we're all fine and peachy when we're together, but…" Here, Cole sucked in a sharp breath, his gaze clouding over in an expression so depressing that Jay never wanted to see that sort of look on his friend ever again. "When I was alone down there in the darkness… It was so easy to feel helpless; to feel hopeless. And I did, for a bit. I wasn't sure how long I'd last down there without you guys. It was so cold and dark and lifeless… But that's when I remembered."

"Remembered what?"

"You. My team. Everyone I'd left behind when I fell. I still had something to fight for. Even if we ended up losing to the Oni, I'd still have you guys, but only if I made it back. So,"—Cole shrugged, his shoulders heavy—"I made it back. I did everything I possibly could to get home to you guys."

Though Jay felt himself begin to nod, a million doubts still swirled about his head, poisoning every pure thought that dared to enter his mind. "But, what if next time—"

"Jay, if I worried about every possible next time, I'd have given myself close to five heart attacks by now." A small smile tugged at the corners of Cole's lips, but Jay couldn't quite bring himself to mimic the expression. "So, I don't. And I think it'd be good if you didn't, either."

"I try not to—really, I do. I try so hard sometimes, but…" Jay shrugged. "Sometimes, I just can't help it."

"Well, I can't promise you I'll never die. Nobody can promise that." Cole's smile widened. "But I can promise that I won't ever leave for good without saying goodbye first."

"Promise?"

When Cole laughed, Jay couldn't help but smile. "Didn't I just say 'I promise?'" He gave Jay a light punch to the elbow. "Come on. Wanna finish this cake with me?"

"Are you kidding? Downing something that heavy before bed? I'd rather have one of those heart attacks you were talking about."

"Hey, whatever you say. More for me, then." Cole forked off the tip of the slice. "You going back to bed?"

"I was gonna try to."

"I'll be up in a minute. Unless you wanted to…" It was then that Cole's gaze flicked to the TV in the adjoining living room before coming to rest on the gaming console.

Jay felt his smile widen.

"Just until I digest all this enough to go back to sleep, of course," Cole went on, snatching his plate off the counter and leading the way to the video games.

"You're on," Jay said as he plopped onto the couch. "But why even eat that stuff at night when you can't sleep if it'll just keep you up longer?"

Cole's only reply was a goofy grin and a shrug. "Because it's good."

A laugh bubbled in Jay's throat. "Right. That just clears up everything."

"'Course it does," Cole said between bites. "That's the only explanation."

"The only one, sure."

Cole just shrugged as Jay handed him a controller, and as the earth ninja set up the game, Jay felt a warm, soothing feeling spread across his chest.

Because Cole was here. He was fine. And though no one could guarantee that he would be fine later, he was here now.

That was what mattered.

That was what Jay needed to focus on. Not the past, not the future, but the present.

We only have the present for so long, and then it's gone.

And worrying about the future would only destroy his present. He realized that now. Why that realization had taken so long to come to him, he'd never know. But he wouldn't worry about that. It was in the past now.

And Jay was done dwelling on the things he couldn't change.

"Wanna make it a competition?"

Jay shot Cole a look. "It's a video game. It's already a competition."

"Sure, but what if whoever wins has to do the loser's share of the dishes tomorrow?"

A smirk spread wide across Jay's face. "Oh, you're on."