There are times when I do regret some of my decisions. And I think, with this, it was handwriting this.

To tease this, I said that there was a birthday at the end of April and one at the beginning of May. So I might as well start this with that.

Happy Birthday, Hannah. I know that we haven't really spoken much but you have been there, giving me your support, which I am most grateful for (And, hopefully, one day, I will organise a quiz on a day that you attend). I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and I hope you enjoy... whatever this has become... because even I am unsure about what this is now...

Safe to say, by the word count, this got a little out of hand. The last three sections weren't even part of the original plan. I do these things to myself, don't I?

As the title of this chapter suggests, this is all from Eddie's POV and I think once you start reading this that you will get the gist of what is happening.

PART ONE: EDDIE

If he had to describe himself, Eddie would have said that he was a romantic. He had spent his childhood watching his parents dote over each other and he wanted to be like that with the girl of his dreams.

Well, Chloe became Natasha who turned into Jules. He thought that he was close with Hannah but was convinced that Alison was the one for him.

Alison, Alison, Alison. Oh, how badly did it end with Alison? It still felt strange for Eddie to think about how they went from whispering about their future together and how many children they both wanted to him struggling to see the one son they had left with there being so much spite involved in that.

He didn't actually know what broke his heart more; picking Stephen up out of the cot and realising why he wasn't crying like Michael or the day he found out that Alison had already moved on from their marriage before they had even signed the divorce papers.

And if Eddie was being honest with himself, he had only rejoined the dating scene because he was being bugged by family and friends but he knew that he was still healing and, therefore, wasn't actually looking for anything serious. He had never been a guy who had one-night stands but he wasn't sure that he wanted to have his heart broken again. If he could, he would never give his heart away again.

So, to be given a chance to leave the job that he had not only received a gift for his twins but also a wedding gift from felt like the change of scenery that he needed. A breath of fresh air. A fresh start. Somewhere he could start over without anyone knowing about the loss and messy divorce. He was still in the area if Alison had a change of heart and allowed him to see Michael but he felt like that might be as likely as him finding someone he could give his heart to, e.g. very unlikely.

Although, Eddie was sure that there was probably an argument against him taking the job at Waterloo Road. Probably the main one being the death of a teacher in the car park of the school. Death by stabbing to make matters worse. He was sure that was what his mum was trying to say when she was making absolutely sure that he wanted the job.

And like the staff rooms that he'd been in before, some teachers were there to teach the next generation and some teachers weren't. Maybe Eddie didn't expect that the younger teachers to fall into the first category and the older teachers to fall into the latter.

And Eddie could see why Jack did what he did. But he could also see why using the money meant to go on improving the school shouldn't have been used as a bribe to get 'cleverer' students into Waterloo Road to boost their league table results. Mainly when the gifted and talented students felt pressured to do their GCSEs in a year and Eddie didn't think that it would have any positive effect.

So, from deputy head to acting head he went.

For a week.

A week of bigging himself up, believing that he was the right man for the job after Nigel had met with him on that Friday evening and asked him if he was up for the challenge.

The confusion of the women, who was introduced to him as Rachel Mason, was short-lived as Ria told him exactly why they were both there on his first day as acting head.

Rachel's the new head teacher.

It probably wasn't fair of Eddie to take his frustrations out on Rachel. It was an LEA decision after all, but he was sure that he sulked his way through the day. His initial thought about her being a beautiful woman was long gone. She was now the woman who stole his job. The woman who was shaking up the school for no good reason. If he wanted to give a name to the way he felt, he despised Rachel Mason.

Shamefully, that feeling didn't go away in her first week on the job. More so after he had convinced himself that she was totally against what he was trying to do with Bolton and his little gang.

That turned out to be something that he had fabricated in his own mind. She wanted to sort them out and their behaviour, she just believed there was a different way (and with how much his neck hurt, he couldn't help but agree with her).

Now you're talking. Never give up. How about you and I put our heads together and see what we can come up with. I promise you, by the end of the school year, their arses will be well and truly kicked.

How could he not smile at that? This woman that had that he had hated for the last week had made him smile. It probably looked like a grimace because of the pain that he was in, but it felt like it was a smile that could have been genuine. He hadn't genuinely smiled at anything since Stephen's death. Maybe it was actually before then. Or maybe he just had got so caught up in his grief that he was still just existing rather than living.

But as they sat there, sipping on their whiskey, Eddie felt something that he hadn't done in a long time. Hope. And maybe that beautiful woman was coming back.

Eddie was more than certain he had told Rachel to stay out of his personal life. There was a reason Eddie hadn't spoken to Alison since the divorce. But it was clear that Rachel hadn't listened as Bridget announced that his wife was there.

It had taken a lot for him to tell her what had happened and why he was acting so strange. Bearing in mind that this was meant to be his fresh start where no one knew what happened. He thought he could trust her. He thought that he could give her that piece of information. He thought that when he told her to leave it, that she would. Now he wished that he had never told her and maybe he should have known that she would have meddled when she handed him Alison's number. Why couldn't she have just left it?

Although Eddie couldn't deny that having Michael in his arms once more was an amazing feeling, even if it had been the best part of three years since he last had him there. He almost didn't catch what Alison was saying until she was leaving.

And it may not have helped that Rachel followed him out, bearing in mind that she was the one to cause all this.

"She's left him with me!" He said, slightly unsure how everything was going to plan out. It wasn't like he had everything to look after a three-year-old. Alison had literally only dumped Michael on him.

"We've got our presentation. I'll get Jasmine to look after him." Rachel said.

Had this woman not realised what she had done? Was this rather intelligent woman that thick?

He had just got his son back in his arms, he wasn't going to let him go again. Now that he had Michael, he wasn't going to let him out of his sight if he could help it. He certainly wasn't going to let Rachel dictate what was going to happen.

"No!" He almost shouted. "I'm not having another stranger upset him even more."

"Eddie, didn't you hear me? We have..." Rachel started.

"Rachel, did you hear me?" Eddie said, unable to understand the audacity of the woman. "You will have to present on your own! And if you want someone to blame for this, blame yourself." He turned to Michael. "Come on."

He thought she said something about not knowing his presentation, but he would have expected that she would start to realise that he had bigger things on his mind than her poxy presentation.

Eddie was now wishing that Rachel Mason had never entered his life again.

Eddie might have thanked her on the day, but he felt like he had a lot of making up to do as well. He didn't quite think that him and Alison were going to get back together but they were going to stay civil for Michael's sake (something that should have always happened).

But there was a problem and the problem was that Rachel also felt like she had some making up to do as well, meaning that they fought over who was making drinks and who was paying for what. The Christmas do must have started a few rumours, especially when he took a taxi three miles out of his way to make sure that she got home safe.

If anything, Eddie enjoyed being around her and it was why he brought her the book. Maybe as his last attempt at gratitude over what she had done for him.

He only threw the comment about Alison to see how she would react to it and he couldn't deny that the little 'oh, that's good' that she gave was a sign that she was not expecting it. If he was being honest, he didn't expect to either. Him and Alison had met through a mutual friend and they had started off as friends. It was on a drunken night out that Eddie confessed to Alison that he wanted to be more than friends. Maybe he should never have said that because it seemed like they were better off as friends. And he was looking forward to that happening if it was going to.

But he was sure that there was no way that they were going to get back together. Not when he had his sights on someone else.

He had heard from other people that building work was stressful, but he didn't feel like Rachel felt the stress of the decision until Stuart Hordley showed up.

If anything, Eddie liked the guy at first and he felt like Stuart had bought something out of Bolton during that interview. It was why he couldn't really understand what Rachel had against him. Stuart seemed keen to put his mark on the school and Eddie saw no reason as to why he shouldn't be allowed to do that. Eddie thought that they liked people who were keen to change the school for the better. But then again, Rachel had been acting weird that day and the couple of weeks that followed Stuart showing up at the school.

But the guy definitely annoyed him when he was late starting, and the green-eyed monster came out when Stuart and Rachel kept having all these secret meetings and dinners. Something was meant to happen between him and Rachel, not Stuart and Rachel.

It was why he teased her about it. Because he wanted to understand where she stood. And she gave him the feeling that she wasn't into Stuart at all, much to his relief, especially when she told him that she had turned Stuart down on a date. That and knowing that he had enough evidence to clear Jasmine's name were the best part of the day.

And maybe he shouldn't have looked. Maybe he shouldn't have let his curiosity get the better of him. He certainly wished that after he read the newspaper clippings that were in the blue file that Stuart had given Rachel earlier that day.

He could have blamed it on Mika. If she hadn't made his car undrivable he wouldn't have gone through Rachel's drawers as he waited for a taxi home.

Disbelief was what he felt in that moment. If it wasn't for the picture of Rachel attached to one of the news articles, he probably would have wondered what it all had to do with her.

But there is no denying it.

Rachel was arrested due to raids on brothels.

He was sure he was still in shock when he got home and over the weekend, where he picked his phone up numerous times to call Rachel to ask her. He just didn't know how to word the question or whether she would even tell him the truth if he did confront her. And maybe he was having a hard time just thinking about how the hell she got herself in that situation. She seemed so prim and proper. The last thing that he would even have expected was that she used to fall in bed with random men for money. Or he at least hoped that she wasn't still doing it.

By the Monday morning, the shock had turned into anger. The anger seemed to be directed at her once more (but even he couldn't really understand the anger, later, when he had calmed down and accepted it).

The idea to finally confront her about it came with the arrival of the information that he had requested.

That was how he found out that she had previously called Amanda Fenshaw, a name that would never sit right with him. It even left quite a bitter taste in his mouth when he called her it.

Eddie, where are you going?

If he cared at that point, he might have heard how her voice broke when she said that. If he cared at that point, he might have listened to what she said and asked her to explain more.

If Stuart Hordley secretary knows, how long before everybody knows?

Why does that bother you?

It was a good question. Why did it bother him?

Instead of listening to his heart and saying it was because he was falling for her, he went with his head and ranted about the reputation of the school.

And that was how it went all day. Back and forth. them arguing about what she had done in the past.

Something had to give.

That is what Eddie told himself as he wrote Rachel's name on the envelope of his resignation letter.

Not that Rachel allowed that to happen. And she was annoying in the way that she did it. Intentionally winding him up by showing him what she thought he would miss.

Eddie knew the problem was Hordley and the only way to stop the nightmare would be to get him to back off. And the punch he gave Stuart was equally for his and Rachel's benefit. Rachel's, to show that Eddie was over the stigma about what she had done and for Eddie's was because he had been wanting to punch the git in the face for a while and it was just as satisfying as he thought it would be.

And Eddie wished that he could have left it at that. Definitely when Stuart blurted out Rachel's secret to the whole school and the visiting one. She was right all along. It wasn't a bluff.

He only said about getting out of there because he didn't want her to say anything. If she didn't confirm or deny it, maybe they could shrug it off as Stuart making something up as he blamed Rachel for going bust. If she didn't confirm or deny it, they could weather the storm better. They could keep her job. They. They. They. Whose to say that Rachel would even want him around once he had told her what he had done?

Not that she saw it like that and of course she would want to do the right thing and tell everyone the truth.

So, in turn, he told her the truth about what he did and why Stuart did what he did.

It was strange how different the atmosphere in her office was to an hour or so ago. An hour or so ago, he had asked her out instead of telling her, warning her, of what did happen. How he wished that he had warned her now?

And he was sure that he could convince her to stay. If only he had more time to talk to her. To get some plan together to show that the school still wanted her there. It was the least that he could do now. She deserved to be at Waterloo Road. She deserved to be the head. He didn't want to be the head of Waterloo Road anymore. There was no better person for the job than Rachel.

The interruption from someone from the exam board wasn't welcomed and it just showed how unokay Rachel was as she could barely focus on the task at hand, with Eddie having to prompt her with what they should do.

Maybe Eddie should have been helping her with all that, but the news seemed to travel fast and up until the explosion, he was on the phone to various governors, telling them all the same thing. He was not the man for the job.

And then there was the fire. And Eddie sat there, feeling less hopeful every moment that Rachel didn't appear, wishing that he had said so much more to her.

Because now he thought he would never be able to tell her how much he had fallen in love with her.

"We've got to do something," Eddie said.

The blank faces didn't fill him with any joy. Maybe the pub wasn't the best place to have this conversation but there were a few people there who Eddie didn't think would be there without the promise of a drink (although Eddie felt that may be the promise of being able to drink away more of his money might help sweeten the deal that he was going to propose).

"How is she?" Tom asked.

"Still unconscious. I haven't had the chance to see her yet."

And how he hated that he hadn't.

It started the day of the fire with the governors saying that they would back him if he went for the headship. He had, in turn, spoken to each governor individually and was starting to get them on board with keeping Rachel as the head of the school.

Then Nigel stepped down as chair and Ralph Mellor took his place, immediately pushing for a vote of no confidence against Rachel. The governors that Eddie had yet to convince went with Ralph and Eddie quickly found himself without many friends in the governors. Leading to him saying something that seemed plausible at the time.

The staff and students want her here.

The more he thought about it, the more he thought that the staff room was going to be as divided as the governors were. And he wasn't certain that there were any students that were going to give up their extended summer break to put in a good word for Rachel.

"How long did you know then?" Steph asked before she took a sip of her drink.

"That doesn't matter," Eddie said.

"Did you have an unexpected bill after a night out?"

Eddie knew that he was prone to losing his temper, but he had never lost it in the way that he did then, slamming his hand down on his table to stop the giggles.

"Nothing has happened between me and Rachel. Nothing, okay? And it doesn't matter how long I knew and how I found out. All that matters right now is this vote of no confidence and making sure that Rachel keeps her job. I mean, just think about it. Think about the way Rachel is with the pupils, it makes so much sense. She wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth that some of you think she did. She has worked hard to be where she is. If there is anyone that knows the uphill struggle some of those kids have, then it is her. This is the one battle she can't fight, so we need to fight it for her. Rachel belongs at Waterloo Road. Because you might badmouth her behind her back but you all have to admit that she is one of the best things that has happened to Waterloo Road." He took in all their faces before he stood up. "Excuse me."

He really didn't need another drink, but he did. He would have loved something stronger but there was no way that he could have a whiskey without Rachel being there. Which was strange. It was just a drink. Why had he associated it with Rachel?

"Are you alright?" Tom said as he joined Eddie.

"Does it sound like it?"

"I suppose not."

"Sorry, the last few weeks have just been meeting after meeting. I don't actually know how she is. The last I heard was that she was unconscious. I want to go and see her. I just need to be able to give her good news as well."

"I'm sure you will, mate and I'm sure she's okay. I think she would have to be made of strong stuff to carry around that secret and try to carry on as she did do that day."

Eddie thought so too but that didn't stop him from thinking the worst.

It was the day that he had been waiting for since he found out that Rachel was awake. It was the first time that he was going to see her since before the fire.

He hadn't had the chance to visit her in hospital and he had chickened out when he tried to visit her at home, giving the flowers he had brought to his mum instead.

He shouldn't have been so cowardly but he didn't really know what to think when she hadn't returned any of his calls and texts (although with hindsight, maybe he should have realised that maybe she had to have a new phone and number after not finding hers in the rubble).

And hindsight was something that he would say that day was full of. Because if he could, he would have done that day again so differently.

What's wrong with this picture?

Her voice was the best sound in the world to Eddie and he couldn't get out of the chair quick enough, offering her what was and always would be hers. He had organised the assembly to show her what she meant to the school. That even if the governors had their little dig at her, it wasn't the same for the students.

And, with hindsight, maybe he should have seen it coming. Not the Kellys or the gun but Rachel rejecting him in the way that she did. It was a moment that he wished he could have blamed on the alcohol, but he should have known her better. She had been shrugging him off all day, he should have taken the hint.

I know, but there was something. I thought we were getting close.

He said it like that because he had to know that he wasn't making it up. That the things he felt for her had come because she felt the same way. He was sure that there was something. Why would she agree to that drink if there was nothing?

Things have changed.

They hadn't for him, and he wondered whether wearing his heart on his sleeve for a bit would work, telling her what he thought of her. Because he did think that she was special as a person and as a head teacher.

He didn't really understand why she was getting upset. And he only looked away because she had opened her shirt up to him. He only got the briefest of glimpse at the burn or scar that was there. If she had stuck about, then he would have told her that it didn't matter. If she had stuck about, they might have been able to talk more. If she had stuck about, maybe Eddie could have changed her mind.

Just leave it, Eddie.

And he almost did but decided that he needed to tell her. A decision he should have made earlier, knowing that there was no point in him attempting to run after the car that had just driven off, taking Rachel away from him.

He had half a thought about ordering a taxi to go to hers to speak with her, but he didn't quite think that his heart could take it if he had to deal with her rejecting him again.

All the worry and waiting, all the fighting, felt like it was for nothing at that moment. He had done all that for Rachel, the woman who he wanted to give his heart to.

He drowned his sorrows that night. Dreading how he was going to face Rachel in the morning.

He didn't bring it up and nor did she. And the elephant in the room wasn't going to go away anytime soon. Well, that was until there was a new one. In the shape of Melissa Ryan.

I needed someone I could trust. I needed an ally.

Eddie had to admit that hurt.

And maybe if she hadn't already broken his heart, she would have heard shatter in the moment of silence that fell between them.

So what am I then?

She had already realised what she had said but that didn't make things better. And they argued about it until the person they were arguing about ran into the room saying about some fight.

He cleared up Melissa's mess and maybe he should have asked her about how much she knew about what happened with Rachel and Hordley and the fire when she sounded so blase about Rachel's 'pretty rough ride'. But he didn't and maybe he was pulled in by her flirty ways.

And as much as he did hate her, he did help Melissa out. For Rachel's benefit. Because she was going to get a lot of stick from Ralph without adding that the adult education wasn't going to work as well.

Well, he told himself it was for Rachel's benefit. It felt easier that way.

Beer goggles.

Eddie blamed the fact that he was currently lying in Melissa's bed, with her beside him, on the amount that he had drunk the night before.

And maybe if he had more one-night stands in his time, he might have been able to sneak out of there without waking Melissa up. But he didn't have much luck as he stood on something sharp (the object being one of Melissa's necklaces) and he crashed into the set of drawers with his boxers only halfway up his legs. He managed to get them all the way up before Melissa's head rose out of the pillows.

"And where do you think you're going?" Melissa said, her voice full of sleep.

"Toilet?" Eddie tried.

"Ensuite is in there. No need for the boxers." She said, letting up the duvet fall as she pointed towards it, revealing her top half to him.

As much as Eddie thought of himself as a gentleman, he was just as red-blooded as most males. Meaning that there was a moment where he couldn't help but stare at her naked torso before he averted his eyes. The problem was that Melissa had seen his momentary lapse.

"Like what you see? I know I did."

He had to stop himself from running into the ensuite at that and he found himself leaning on the sink, looking at himself in the mirror.

He had never been with anyone for the fun of it and, as ungentlemanly as it sounded, Melissa was offering. After Rachel's rejection, it felt like it had opened up this door that he had been trying to keep shut.

He was lonely. And he didn't want to be. But he saw his brothers with their families and it only made him jealous that their relationships had worked out and his hadn't. That they had the wife and the kids and he had a son that he saw on a regular basis but that had only been a new thing.

And maybe that was why he thought about taking what Melissa was offering. Because something was better than nothing. And maybe it didn't need to turn into something more. It could be a bit of fun. Someone to spend a bit of time with. Someone who might stop the feeling of loneliness.

That is what he hoped.

Melissa wanted it to be something more and as much as Eddie knew that something more with Melissa would put a stop to having something with Rachel, Melissa was offering, and he took it. It wasn't like he was swimming with offers after spending the best part of a year falling in love with Rachel.

And the reason he kept watching Rachel was for the hints of jealousy.

And the reason he kept asking her if she was okay with him and Melissa was for her to tell him that she wanted him instead.

But she didn't.

So, he pushed ahead.

If Melissa wanted to be more, then he would go back to his roots.

If she wanted more, then he was going to go all the way.

And that was how he found himself on one knee in the staff room of Waterloo Road with Steph edging him on to do it.

"It's not quite how I'd planned it," Eddie said, which felt like the understatement of the week. "I suppose, er... Yes or no?"

He internally winced. That was the worst way to ask Melissa to marry him, but he was hoping to have a bit longer to think about what he was going to say.

Melissa's hesitation made him think that maybe she didn't want this more. That he had taken things a little too far. Was he always going to be a step in front of all the women that he was going to date?

"Of course I will, you big idiot!" Melissa said as she dropped onto her knees in front of him before she kissed him.

And with that, he became the happiest man in the world.

I'm kinda getting used to you being my brother in law and all that.

At least you can keep your eye on me.

It was strange that it took him until that moment for Eddie to realise what he had thrown away. There was absolutely no chance that he could have Rachel now and all the feelings he had for her, he would have to transfer to Melissa.

But how do you stop loving someone that taught you to love again?

Well, that was for him to work out. For him to make it look like he loved Melissa like he loved Rachel. That he had fallen in love with Melissa in the same way that he had fallen in love with Rachel. That Melissa was his other half and that he didn't want anyone else but her.

And he knew that Steph wasn't known for her subtlety, but he did think that the conversation she had with Rachel was a little louder than it should have been.

We all had bets that it would be you and Eddie that got it together.

He tried not to stiffen or alert Melissa to what he had just heard because maybe there was a chance that she hadn't heard.

Or maybe he was kidding himself that he could hide his feelings as well as he thought he was doing so.

For his and Rachel sakes, he hoped he was.

Eddie didn't need Rachel's interruption, but he also felt like he could take anything that Melissa had to say. He knew where they had grown up from Rachel telling him when he allowed her to explain her reasons for taking the offer that she did. He knew that they didn't have the best family life. Rachel was a prostitute. Why wouldn't Melissa have done something to get away as well?

But the argument went from it being between Rachel and Melissa to it being between him and Melissa.

And he obviously hadn't hidden his feelings as well as he thought he had done.

"But you are going to have to choose," Melissa said.

"Choose?"

And he knew what was coming and he could see how true everything she was saying was.

"It's me or her."

Eddie could only imagine that Rachel left the room to make the choice for him. That, maybe, he had already made the choice weeks ago when he started dating Melissa.

"Her." He whispered. "It should have always been her."

There was a slap before Melissa grabbed her bags and left. With his cheek stinging, he knew that there was someone that didn't know his choice. The one that should have always been his choice.

He realised he was running out of time, hearing her footsteps near the front door. Racing down the corridor, once again trying to catch her before she slipped through his fingers once more, he crashed through the door just before she got into her car.

"Rachel!" He shouted.

It was the look of disbelief that got him, and he wondered why she thought that he wouldn't choose her.

He could feel her pulling away from him again, wanting to get into her car to leave. But he wasn't going to let her get away again, making his way towards her to stop her.

"Can we talk?" He said, making sure that she wasn't going to shut him out by standing as close to her as he dared.

He could feel it. All the questions about why he was there with her instead of with Melissa, but she didn't say them. Instead, she nodded.

"Not here or home. I think we need a drink." She said.

It was a start and that was all Eddie ever wanted. To be able to start something with Rachel.

The world stopped. It must have done. How could it have not?

And it was the best thing in the world. Of course, it would be. Kissing Rachel Mason would always be as magical as he thought it would be and he could be really cliche. Like saying that fireworks went off and all that.

But he was more worried about what was going to happen once they had left their bubble. Because he was rather aware of the rather public setting that they were in. Even more so when they finally pulled back.

And his mind went into overdrive. He had leant in first, hadn't he? What if she hadn't wanted it to happen? What if he had pushed her too soon? But she would have pushed him away, wouldn't she? If she didn't want it, then she would have pushed him away.

Her smile gave away that he was overthinking. That it was, in fact, something that she wanted.

"I think we've got a game to finish." She said.

"Then will you let me take you to dinner?"

"On one condition. If I win, I get to choose where we are going. If you win, you get to choose."

Eddie looked up at the scoreboard, noting that he would have to have a couple of strikes (and miracles) to beat Rachel. But then again, he was intrigued to see where she wanted to go.

And he never got the strikes or the miracles and that was how he found himself in a pizza place, just a stone's throw away from the bowling alley. If anything, he was surprised they didn't run into any pupils as it seemed like a place that would hire students from the local schools.

"Still sulking, Mr Lawson?" Rachel said, continuing their playful attitude from earlier.

"I don't know what you are on about, Miss Mason."

"You are sulking."

"I should be used to it. Always having to lose for my brothers."

"Brothers?"

"Two. Younger as well. You're not hiding anymore family from me, are you?"

He could have winced at his own wording, but Rachel seemed to laugh at it.

"No. Unless they are hiding from me is well."

"Only the three of you then."

"Only the three of us." She hesitated for a moment. "I would be lying if I said I wish I knew where Dad was. Honestly, the best thing he ever did was abandon us. He was... Cruel. There is no other way to put it."

"I bet your mum looks down on you. Proud of everything that you have achieved."

"You're too sweet, Eddie. The full marks in my spelling test and maths tests never seemed good enough. Or me looking after Melissa so that they could work all the time."

"Maybe that was back then. Maybe she knows what she missed out on now."

It was the smile on her face that gave her away. That it was something that she hoped for as well.

"Is that because you have realised what you could have missed out on?" She asked.

"Of course. Thanks to you."

The conversation, then, descended into Rachel asking loads of questions about Michael and, if anything, Eddie was glad of it. He wanted to keep things away from Melissa and the awful decisions he had made.

He couldn't tell if he was angry or just annoyed at Rachel. He got that she was a rather private person, but he felt like he was right. They wanted to be together, so did it matter who knew. He was happy to shout it from the rooftops if he could. He was with and in love with Rachel Mason and he didn't care who knew.

So, he supposed that he was more annoyed at the fact that Rachel cared so much.

English or American?

And he thought that he was getting through to her with his explanation. But then she pulled away from him when Jackie walked down the corridor and he knew he had to let her come back to him on their discussion.

Which didn't happen until the end of the day with all the dramas that had gone on.

He knew that she wanted him to say something first, but he wasn't going to this time. He had kissed her first. Made his feelings known to her first. He had even said about them going out for Phillip's birthday as their first date first.

If she wanted to be with him like she said she did, then she needed to tell him that.

Hence why he left her with an 'I'll see you tomorrow'.

So, her calling after him was the best reaction that he could get.

"Erm, about earlier. What you said," She said as she settled in front of him. "You know, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm overreacting about the staff knowing."

"Okay." He said, being cautious about what she was going to say.

"I mean, we are grown-ups, aren't we?"

"Absolutely."

"And professionals."

"Naturally."

"If you're... Happy to go public, then I am."

It was a change of heart that he wanted on hearing her say it almost made his heart explode. Finally, he could start shouting about his love for Rachel.

Although he knew that he had to play it cool. He couldn't be too eager now, could he?

"So... dating wise, where are we?" He said. "America or..."

"England," She said, interrupting him (not that he minded one bit). "No, England, definitely England. That exclusive one." Her smile dropped for a moment. "If that's alright with you."

"Yeah perfect." He said, although there would never be enough words for him to explain how much his heart jumped at that thought.

And another thought crossed his mind as they started walking to their cars. One that probably summed up the way that he felt when he was with Rachel. And it was probably childish but they were in a school environment and he certainly felt like a teenager with a crush around Rachel. And there was usually only one way that school romances started with.

"So… does this mean I can hold your hand in the playground?"

"Don't push your luck," She said, playfully nudging him.

But he was more than sure that his heart exploded as Rachel pulled his hand out of his pocket so that she could hold it.

Eddie was certain of one thing nothing, absolutely nothing, could destroy his happiness now.

It had been the day from hell.

It wasn't meant to be, but it was.

It was even worse to think that he knew exactly what Rachel was about to do and he didn't want it to happen.

But it had to.

Because she was right. He did have some really big responsibilities now.

It was just with the wrong woman. Melissa had re-entered his life, dropped a bombshell and it had ruined everything he was planning with Rachel.

Because he knew what Rachel was going to do. Because she knew the truth. She knew that he couldn't let this opportunity go. No matter how much it killed them both to do it.

She was the stronger one in that respect.

"I can't do it, Eddie."

Nor could he. He couldn't face the thought of her walking out of his life.

Which is why he started to talk about the recently destroyed school for her to correct him. Maybe if he could put it off for a little longer, it wouldn't happen.

"I know." He said. "I just... don't want to hear you say it."

There had only been a handful of times where they hadn't been honest with each other and Eddie felt like their honesty was the best part of their relationship. Hence why he wanted to continue to be honest with her. It was just hard when he was so torn about what the right thing to do was. The choice was between Rachel and the baby. And his heart was calling for Rachel.

"I can't be your girlfriend, Melissa's sister, Philip's auntie, the baby's stepmother..."

"I won't have anything to do with the baby." He said, interrupting her and way too quickly.

He just wanted to stop the inevitable. He wanted to stop her from breaking up with him and everything that entailed. He knew that he never meant it and Rachel showed him how well she knew him by saying something similar.

"Even as you say that, you know that you don't mean it." She said, her hand rising to cup his cheek. "Eddie, you lost touch with one child - that nearly finished you. I wouldn't do that to you again."

"But you do this?" Which was, to him, a situation as heartbreaking as losing Stephen and, at the time, Michael. "It doesn't make sense!"

"Oh, darling, it does. It does make sense."

"I love you, Rachel."

It was a last-ditch attempt to make her see that he couldn't do this without her. To show her what she meant to him. Even if he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh, Eddie, I love you too." She said, and his heart soared for a moment. "It's not going to change anything though."

"I know." He said, realising he would have to admit defeat at some point. That he would have to allow them to break and separate.

The coach arriving back wasn't really the distraction that they needed but gave Eddie a moment to reflect. And, as heartbreaking as it was, he knew what he had to say next. Because he had to make things better for her. He had to give her a little hope. He had messed things up for them and now he had to fall on his sword.

"I can't stay here." He said, feeling like it was the noble thing to do. He had the baby. Rachel could have the school that she had risked her life for a couple of times. "Seeing you every day."

"No, no, no, I don't think I could take that either."

There wasn't one second that Eddie believed that this wasn't as hard for Rachel as it was for him. She was just the stronger one of them to do what needed to be done, they needed to end their relationship and that was what Rachel had done.

And he knew that she was trying to hide her emotions from him, with her hand rising to probably stop a sob before she fell back into Miss Mason for the students.

And Eddie didn't know what was worse; watching the woman he loved walk away from him or the thought that he was going to have to go home with a woman that he couldn't stand the sight of.

If only he hadn't been so stupid.

It was a boy.

Another boy.

Eddie knew that he struggled to agree on names for Michael and Stephen but he didn't believe the struggle that he had with Melissa.

Oliver was a given and Melissa wasn't budging on that.

Lawson was a given and Melissa wasn't budging on that.

He had to put his foot down when she wanted his middle name to be Stuart, with him having to tell her that he was not having his son named after someone who tried to destroy Rachel. That led to another argument and another instance of Melissa telling him to get over Rachel. He didn't understand how she made it sound like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. How could he get over the only person he knew he could truly love without them being blood-related?

But Oliver Stephen Lawson was born on the 6th of November 2009, a healthy weight for a baby that was a month and a half early (instead of two weeks early like Eddie thought). It took Eddie a while to calm down over that bombshell. Melissa went back on what she had said at the time, stating that she was practically five months when she returned (with her and Eddie arguing about the difference between her being 23 weeks, like Eddie thought because she told him that she was, and being 18 weeks, even though Melissa tried to argue that she was on the cusp of being 19 weeks).

Yet Eddie needed some time to himself, running to Alison as he couldn't run to Rachel. He managed to spill all of his fears to Alison, especially the ones about history repeating itself. Which was met with the same kindness that made Eddie fall in love with Alison in the first place. They shared their fears, with Alison admitting that it was the only reason she felt like her relationships broke down before they got too serious. Because she never wanted to put herself back in that position. He hadn't wanted to either but he wasn't really given a choice. He should have been more careful. It should have been something that he discussed with Melissa the moment he knew that their relationship was going to be serious. He didn't quite think that he could tell Melissa about Stephen (hence it being Ollie's middle name) like he told Rachel but it might have lessened the blow if he knew that she wanted another child (with there being 16 and a half years between Philip and Ollie).

But Eddie had to crawl back to Melissa at some point and his sudden disappearance was the cause of the next argument they had. Just they had a newborn to interrupt them and help calm the tensions.

And Eddie knew that he was only existing. That he was trying to make the most of the chance that has been given to him by a woman that he would always know him better than the woman who he was currently living with. It felt like it was some miracle if he and Melissa got through the day without arguing.

They might have been living in the same house but they were living two completely different lives. Eddie would always take the early morning shifts with Ollie, making sure that he was dressed and fed before Melissa would join them just as Eddie had to run out the door. When Eddie got back from work, he would take Ollie off Melissa and start winding him down for bed while blocking out whatever Melissa was moaning about. He would eat as he marked so that he could spend as little of the evening with Melissa before leaving her to the evening shift.

It probably wasn't a healthy routine but it kept the peace as much as it could.

Then came the knock on their door one Saturday afternoon in January and the man that demanded to know who Eddie was on where his child was.

It turned out that the reason Melissa thought that Eddie could move on from Rachel was because she was rather quick to move on from Eddie, with her running off with the man, Jamie, with him thinking that he was the father of her child until Melissa ran back to Eddie. It probably explained why Melissa made herself out to be a month more pregnant than she was. To make Eddie believe that he was Ollie's father when there was a chance that he couldn't have been.

The only thing that both him and Jamie agreed on was that a paternity test needed to be done and, weirdly enough, Eddie wanted the result to come back as him being Ollie's father. Because, if he wasn't, it would be time that he had wasted with a child that wasn't his and he had spent away from Rachel.

At first, Melissa resisted. It was clear that she didn't know who Ollie's father was and knew that Eddie would run back to Rachel if the result was that Ollie wasn't Eddie's. But she gave in and waiting for the results felt like an eternity for Eddie.

The morning that the results came, Eddie managed to catch the postman as he left for work, taking their post from him and taking it to work. If it wasn't for that letter, he would have probably dropped it in the house, but he couldn't give Melissa a chance to tamper with the results.

And there were many times over the course of the day that Eddie felt like he couldn't wait until he got home to find out the results but he managed to resist the temptation but the day dragged even more than usual.

Melissa was furious to find out that he had it, snatching it out of his hands, checking whether he tampered with it before she opened it.

The distrust that's both him and Jamie had for Melissa meant that they didn't believe the result until they had seen it themselves.

But there it was. In black and white.

Ollie was Eddie's son.

It was only a matter of time.

And he had tried to plan for it. He had tried to guess when Melissa was going to leave.

It was still a shock when she did.

And Eddie was angry that Melissa had left their 10-month-old in the house on his own. He definitely wasn't expecting coming back from the first day of the new school year to no Melissa and Ollie crying his eyes out in his crib.

The anger at Melissa turned to concern to his son, especially when Ollie had a tight grip on him, probably scared that he was going to do the same thing as his mother.

The concern changed into panic and Eddie had no idea what he was going to do. Melissa had said that she was going to be a stay at home mum, therefore they didn't need to try and find a nursery to enrol Ollie in until he was a little older. They had nothing planned and Eddie literally had no way of getting Ollie a place at seven o'clock at night. It was probably even too late to get anyone to look after him for the day.

With Eddie at a loss to what he should do, and his son's grip still grasping his shirt tightly, he knew he needed someone to help him out. To tell him what he needed to do.

And even if they hadn't spoken to each other for a year, Eddie found himself with his phone in his hand with Rachel's name highlighted in his contacts with his thumb hovering over the button that would reunite them.

And he was close to doing it.

It was only a press of a button. Something he could have done many times over the year.

But things could have changed in a year.

She could have moved on.

She could have forgotten about him.

She could have decided that she didn't care about him anymore.

When Melissa returned, Philip gave her the benefit of the doubt. By the end of the summer holidays, Philip moved back in with Rachel (something that Eddie never blamed him for) and, other than a couple of texts, Eddie hadn't heard from him since. Meaning that he knew nothing about Rachel and him calling her out of the blue wasn't going to help if she had managed to move on. Calling out of the blue maybe would have been welcomed or not.

And Eddie wasn't strong enough to find out which one it was. He had been rejected by Rachel before and he remembered how much it hurt. He couldn't go through that again. Not when he had this situation to sort out.

So, he went to his other safety net. To the woman who he had been able to lean on for the last year.

"Eddie, what's wrong?" Alison said.

"She's gone. She left while I was at work. She left Ollie on his own."

"That bloody woman."

"Alison, what am I going to do? He isn't enrolled in a nursery and it's bloody Monday. The one bloody time a school year starts on a Monday!"

"Eddie, you've got to calm down."

"Then what am I meant to do?"

There were a couple of moments of silence before Alison spoke again.

"Michael, can you get your school uniform together? We need to go and help your dad."

"Will the scary lady be there? Last time she said that I might not see daddy again."

Eddie couldn't stop his heart from breaking at that. He knew that Michael and Melissa didn't get on as he got on with Phillip. He just never imagined that Melissa would be that cruel.

"Scary lady isn't there. That is why we need to help him with Ollie." Alison said, with Michael becoming excited by the idea. "Are you bloody happy now?"

"Alison, you don't need to remind me that I have been an idiot."

"Melissa could have taken away everything that Rachel gave you."

"Like I've just said, you don't need to remind me that I made the worst judgement call ever."

"Look, will be over in a bit. Aren't you glad that I am friends with the nursery school teacher?"

"Alison, you're a lifesaver."

"You better remember this. That is all I'm going to say," Alison said before she hung up.

Eddie dropped the phone onto the island and pulled his full focus on the son in his arms, his cries finally calming down into sniffles.

"Don't worry mate. I'm not going to leave you." Eddie said, holding Ollie close to him. "It's me and you and, maybe one day, Rachel."

And that was a promise that he made himself that day. Rachel was going to meet Ollie. He just didn't know how that was going to happen.

In the last two years, Eddie had gotten a lot wrong. A hell of a lot wrong but there wasn't really the same support for him as a single father as his female counterparts. Although he definitely felt like Melissa gave Ollie separation anxiety which made his life ten times harder. And when Alison told him that she had been given a job in Liverpool, it meant that she couldn't help him out like she had been doing, he did feel quite alone in his task of raising his son.

But Eddie was enjoying being a full-time dad along with his teaching job (with him stepping down as deputy head to have fewer responsibilities with work because his main responsibility was at home now).

It was just before the summer holidays that Eddie got the email on his work email. Apparently, he had been in a lesson when someone called about it and the secretary thought that it would be easier for them to email Eddie about it rather than taking a message.

Dear Mr Lawson

We would like to formally invite you to the Waterloo Road reunion on the 18th of August from 2:00 PM.

Please RSVP to this email and children are more than welcome to join.

Regards

Waterloo Road leavers of 2009 and 2010

PS She will be there

Eddie had thought a lot about that PS since he got it and he even had Alison screaming down the phone at him to go and get Rachel back. And he did reply, saying that he was coming.

The problem came when Michael caught wind that he might be reunited with Rachel and wanted to go to the reunion, meaning that they had to time it right so it was one of the weeks that he was with Eddie.

Eddie knew that, one day, Rachel Mason would walk back into his life. He just didn't know how it was going to happen. And if he didn't already know that she was going to be there then he probably would have been more shocked (although he had no idea why as the years that had organised the reunion were part of her years) to see her standing there, talking to Kim. He didn't even realise that he was walking over to her, with Ollie in his arms and Michael's hand in his, until she looked up at him and said hello.