Title: Not Himself Lately
Team: Tutshill Tornados
Position: Chaser 1
Reserve: no
Optional prompts: Bottle of wine, "I wouldn't blame you if you hated me," casual
James Potter sat alone at the bar in the Hog's Head Inn, eyeing the bottle of wine in front of him with desire, not yet old enough to partake of its power to inhibit his senses, its ability to ease the emotional pain he was now feeling. He was surprised at himself, feeling like this for what felt like the first time in his life, especially considering that today was his birthday, March 27th. It was such a fun day, normally. But today James couldn't help but feel like brooding, hoping he could escape the day without anyone noticing his absence. Luckily, almost no Hogwarts students ever came into the Hog's Head. Even the bartender was gone at the moment. However, three animals, almost out of nowhere, seemed to sneak into the back entrance of the bar: a wolf, a dog, and a rat.
"Told you he'd be here," said Peter to Remus and Sirius when they had all transformed back into humans.
"James!" roared Sirius. "What on Earth are you doing here?! We've been looking all over Hogsmeade for you!"
James sighed irritably. "I'm not in the mood today, guys…" he said irritably, avoiding eye contact with them.
"Not even up for some butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks?" said Remus, who himself seemed to be looking forward to the prospect of a butterbeer.
"Not today, Remus, but thanks," said James, still eyeing the bottle of wine on the shelf.
"But today's your bloody birthday!" said Sirius, incredulous now at his best friend's apathy.
Nobody said anything for a moment. Then Peter spoke up.
"It has to do with Evans, doesn't it?"
James turned to look at Peter, angry now. "No! It doesn't! And even if it did...well...that's beside the point! Just, please leave me alone right now, okay?"
James Potter's three friends looked at him with shock and confusion as they proceeded to transform behind the corner and exit the same way they entered.
The three animagi made their way to a secluded spot between Hogsmeade and the Whomping Willow, finding a grove of trees where they could transform and make their way to the Three Broomsticks, looking like three normal fifth year Gryffindors.
"Wormtail, why'd you have to go and make him upset like that? Bringing up Lily like that," said Sirius.
"So? I know that's what it was," said Peter matter-of-factly.
"How do you know?" said Remus curiously.
"Because I….stumbled upon him when he was a stag, and, well, it is a little embarrassing honestly…" he finished with a snicker.
"Well? Aren't you gonna tell us what happened?" asked Sirius.
"Isn't it wrong to talk about your friends behind their back?" asked Peter slyly.
"Wormtail, we know you do it everyday. Don't play stupid," said Sirius. "Besides, you've already told us too much."
"Okay, fine," said Peter. "I was out on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, as a rat of course, and I stumbled upon James while he was a stag. Believe it or not, he was eating feed corn out of the hand of Lily, who was with her friend Mary, and I overheard Lily and Mary coincidentally talking about James, not knowing that he was right in front of them. Mary asked Lily about him after the event when Severus had called her the M-word and Lily said she would still rather go out with a troll than with James because at least a troll isn't an arrogant prick like him. James leapt away, back into the forest. I thought about chasing him down, but he was too fast for my little feet to keep up, so I scurried away."
"Man...that's…" began Remus.
"Pretty rough…" finished Sirius, looking at Remus.
"Yeah…" said Peter, feeling awkward retelling the story.
"Er, I think I might try to talk to him," said Remus.
"You always were the best with words, Moony," said Sirius, patting him on the back.
However, the opportunity never seemed to present itself. The Marauders disbanded and, for the next several days, were preoccupied with studying for their O.W.L.'s and working on their never-ending homework assignments. Whenever Remus tried to find James in the Great Hall or in the common room, he wasn't there.
"He's using the invisibility cloak again," said Sirius. "I know it."
"He's skipping classes, and right before O.W.L.'s too," said Remus.
"He probably skips some classes. But I bet you he doesn't skip Charms. I guarantee you he's sitting in the back of the class just watching everyone like a creeper under that cloak because Lily really likes that class," said Sirius with a smile and a laugh.
"I bet your right," agreed Remus.
The next day, after Charms, Remus and Sirius got up slowly, waiting for everyone to exit the classroom, including the professor. When they were the only two left, they walked to the back of the classroom and heard a small snoring in the back corner.
"Called it," said Sirius with a smirk. "Oi! Prongs! Wake up you lunatic!" He gave the corner of the room a small kick which collided with thin air.
A loud snort turned into a "Ow! How the heck did you find me?"
"Intuition?" said Remus, pulling the cloak off James. "Actually it was Padfoot. He guessed you'd be back here."
"Lucky guess…" said James regretfully.
"Aren't you worried about your O.W.L.'s?" asked Remus.
"Nah," said James. "Besides, I can just get you to do my homework for me. Right?"
"I can't take your tests for you!" said Remus indignantly. "And since when do I just let you copy off of me?"
"You have before," said James nonchalantly.
"Yeah like only a handful of times in five years and those were in rare circumstances," said Remus, irritated.
"I'm not one to usually be like this, James, but you really need to study," said Sirius. "These O.W.L.'s are no joke. Your score on them determines your N.E.W.T. courses and those grades are the ones future employers will…."
"I know, I know!" interrupted James angrily.
"Well what've you been doing all this time?" asked Remus impatiently.
"What's it to you?" said James irritably.
"Look, we're your best friends," said Sirius. "You're being stupid. Just tell us what's up."
James' nostrils flared as he sighed in irritation. "Fine then...I've been sneaking out with the cloak and going to the Forbidden Forest."
Remus and Sirius tried not to look shocked.
"And...why would you do that?" asked Remus.
"I don't go deep into it. Just enough. I've found a place that I like in there, a quiet place. It's a place where I can sit and just think about life and my place in the universe, stuff like that."
"You go as a stag?" asked Remus.
James didn't look at them but nodded.
"Look mate," began Sirius. "This is not the time to become a loner and think about your place in the universe or whatever. You've got O.W.L.'s. You've got your whole future ahead of you, and you're just gonna sit around in the Forest day after day like some lazy bum right when your life is at this critical point?"
"I'm not a lazy bum!" defended James.
"Then prove it!" said Sirius angrily. "Get your life right! Come back and study with us, and don't ask Moony to do your homework for you!"
James looked at Sirius with calculation, his nostrils flared in disgust.
"And come to class like a normal human wizard," said Remus matter-of-factly. "If anyone asks why you've been gone for a week, just tell them you've been sick or something."
James didn't look at them. "Actually, I have been sick," he said, in a surprisingly small voice.
"You don't look sick to me," said Sirius truthfully.
There was a pause.
"It's the redhead again..." said Remus.
James didn't respond. He was still sitting on the floor but he had his arms hugging his knees now.
"Look, mate," said Remus. "I'll try and talk to her."
"No! Don't do that! That'll just make everything worse," said James, his face showing genuine fear.
"Can't be much worse than it already is, can it?" said Remus. "I mean, she already knows you fancy her. Otherwise you wouldn't have asked her out on that date when you were bullying Severus."
"You mean Snivellus?" corrected Sirius.
"Don't remind me…" said James to Remus.
Remus and Sirius didn't know what else to say so they began leaving the classroom.
"You're not gonna actually talk to her are you?" asked James curiously.
"I don't know. Am I?" said Remus. Sirius laughed. The two left a brooding James to his thoughts as they made their way back to Gryffindor Tower.
Later that night, James was nowhere to be found, but Lily was studying with her friend Mary in the corner of the Gryffindor common room while Remus, Sirius, and Peter were in another corner of the room.
"It's now or never Moony," said Sirius. "Quick! It looks like they're about to leave!"
Remus turned around to notice Lily and Mary packing their books and parchment away.
"Wish me luck," said Remus.
"Nah, I won't," said Sirius, beaming at him. Remus rolled his eyes as he left to go to the opposite side of the common room. He cleared his throat with a cough as he approached the two Gryffindor girls.
"Er, hey Lily. Mary. How are you this evening?"
"Hey Remus," said Mary. Lily also greeted him. "What's up?"
"Er, I kinda need to speak to Lily for a moment, if you don't mind," said Remus.
"Oh!" said Mary, surprised. She and Lily quickly exchanged looks. "Well, we were just about to meet up with Alice in the library."
"Oh, well umm…"
"That's okay," said Lily. "You go ahead and go. I'll meet you there." Mary agreed and left the common room, leaving Lily and Remus alone at their table.
"What is it?" asked Lily.
"Er, we've got a bit of a situation at the moment, and we think you might be able to help," said Remus.
Lily furrowed her brow in skepticism. "What kind of a situation?"
"Well...it has to do with James."
"Oh…" said Lily, now frowning.
"He's...kinda not been himself lately," said Remus.
"Sounds like a personal problem to me," said Lily unsympathetically.
"Look," said Remus, "This is serious. I wouldn't be coming to you if it wasn't serious, but I need you to talk to him."
"About what?" asked Lily with a sneer.
"About...well I don't know really. He's super depressed and annoying to be around now. And he's become a lazy bum who doesn't care about anything anymore."
"So...he's just been skipping all his classes for the last week?"
Remus paused, closing his eyes as if regretting something. Then he sighed and said, "Lily, you're a smart woman. I'm going to tell you something but it's imperative that you keep it a secret. Okay? If you don't, well...I don't know if my friends would be too nice to you for it."
"Is that a threat?" said Lily impatiently.
"It's not if I can tell you the important secret," said Remus.
"I know James fancies me, Remus," said Lily, rolling her eyes. "It's no secret. The whole school practically knows."
"I know you know that," said Remus. "But that's not it. You see…well...you remember when we talked about animagi in Transfiguration earlier this year?"
"Yeah?" said Lily, thinking this was a totally random thing to bring up.
"Well...James and a few of us have, well...learned how to do that."
Lily's face indicated strong disbelief. "Is this some weird joke, Remus?"
"No, I swear I'm not kidding," said Remus, his expression serious as he raised his eyebrows at her.
Lily paused for a moment to comprehend this. Then she kept shaking her head at him. "But...that takes years to perfect! And it's illegal to not be registered with the Ministry, even if you and your little posse are animagi!
"You might not believe me, but come down to the Forbidden Forest tomorrow night. I'll make sure James is there. You two need to talk."
Lily looked down, as if deep in thought. Remus noticed the slightest trace of a blush in her neck and on her cheeks. Then she resumed her annoyed look.
"Okay...I'll be there at 7pm. But tell him I'm NOT going into the Forest with anyone, I don't care who it is, especially at night."
"Okay," said Remus, giving her an appreciative smile. "Will do."
That night, in the boys' fifth year dorm, a door opened and a bed was crushed down by an invisible body.
"I know you're there Prongs," said Remus, sitting up in bed now.
James didn't say anything.
"The redhead is a go. Meet her tomorrow at 7 at the edge of the Forest. And don't screw this up."
James still didn't say anything, but took off the invisibility cloak and turned over to fall asleep.
The next evening, Remus and Lily were walking down to the Forest entrance. Remus saw the stag from a distance.
"Aww! Look at the cute little deer!" said Lily. "I've fed him before, you know. I think it's the same one. He keeps coming back to me."
"Er," began Remus awkwardly, looking at the stag with mild interest. "I think I'd better leave you be for now."
Lily gave him a really confused look. "This better not be a prank, Remus," said Lily. "Or I'm never speaking to you or your friends again."
"If it is a prank, I know nothing about it, I promise," said Remus. "Good luck. Talk some sense into Prongs when he shows up."
Lily didn't say anything but turned and walked down towards the Forest entrance. She came towards the stag and started petting it.
"I don't have any corn for you today," she said sadly as she petted the tame deer. Then she noticed something she hadn't before. The deer's eyes looked a little more hazel than she had expected. Also, she thought about what Remus had said. She checked her watch and noticed that it was exactly 7 o'clock when the stag showed up out of the woods.
She looked up at the deer, the realization slowly setting in. "No way...J-James?" she said softly, her hand leaving the deer's head. She gave the deer a confused look.
The stag retreated behind the nearest tree and, within thirty seconds, a fifth year Gryffindor with glasses emerged in his robes. He tried to look casual, but he couldn't help but fail miserably at this point.
"James!" said Lily in shock. "T-that was you?! This whole time?!"
"Sorry, Evans," said James awkwardly. "Did I creep you out?"
Lily couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Only like a lot!"
"Figures…" said James, but it wasn't with his usual sarcastic tone.
Lily stared at him in disbelief. "What's gotten into you lately? Why are you missing classes?"
"I don't know…" he said. "I've been doing a lot of thinking."
"Sounds to me from Remus like you aren't doing much else besides that," said Lily, folding her arms.
James frowned at her. "Maybe I should transfigure myself into a troll next time, that way I'd have a better chance with you, Evans."
Then, Lily Evans said perhaps the most mysterious thing all night. Her voice softened considerably.
"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me, James."
James opened his mouth in shock. "Er, really?" he replied.
"Yes," said Lily. "You know...I was friends with Severus for a long time. I still miss who he was when I was younger, but he's chosen his path. Now, I've chosen mine. You on the other hand, always picked on him, and even though I disagree with you picking on him like that, I can...kinda see why you did it now…"
James raised his eyebrows in interest. "I must say, I was not expecting this, Evans."
"I just mean he turned out to be a jerk, but even though I still think you can be a jerk sometimes, I feel as though your jerkiness is more justified than his jerkiness. Does that make sense?"
"Sure does," said James with a smile. "But wait, why did you tell Mary that you'd rather date a troll than date me?"
Lily looked confused for a moment. "Oh yeah...how could I forget that you were actually spying on me AS A STAG? Well...I really shouldn't have said that. And I do apologize. Honestly, I am sorry. She's...a bit jealous of me, actually. I can tell, and somehow me talking about how gross and despicable you are, I think it makes her feel better in a weird way. She, er, knows that you...sort of...like me I guess? It's hard to explain."
James paused. "If that's a lie, I'll buy it for now. At least you tried," said James, half-relieved, half-confused.
Lily bit her lip.
"It's not a lie, but I'm still sorry," she said rather shyly. "I'll slack off on that. But you should consider not picking on people though. People might get the wrong impression if you aren't nice to them."
"I only pick on people who I feel deserve it," said James, his tone surprisingly serious. "But for you, Evans, I'll consider it. Perhaps I've gone too far at times."
Then, Lily smiled at him. It was the most wonderful sight for James.
"Perhaps," she said with a grin. "But I'm not as mad about it as I used to be."
"Really?" said James, resuming his normal casual tone with her. "So...do you think...maybe...we could go out sometime to celebrate me not being as much of a jerk?"
"Woah there, Potter," said Lily with a chuckle. "Promise me you'll get back to studying with your friends and going back to class, and then we can talk about possibly going on a date, okay?"
"Okay, but just for future reference, I didn't technically call it a date. You did!" said James.
Lily rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Prongs, it's getting late."