Title is taken from the song Demons by Imagine Dragons. I own nothing.
Bakugou was a lot of things.
Diligent, determined, ambitious, aggressive and loud, were part of them. There were far too many traits to count them now, whether you consider them positive or negative. It doesn't matter. The thing is, with everything he was, he wasn't stupid.
Not so much, anyway.
As such, he could understand that his time was up, his chance passed and the opportunity was missed.
He couldn't have been the number one hero.
By itself, it probably would not have discouraged the majority, there were more numbers, there were more aspirations and more places to grow, all in all, there was life beyond an inflated childhood dream beyond proportions.
Yes, for most people it was not a tragic life crisis, but Katsuki wasn't most people.
For him, it was all or nothing. There is only one place, everything else was a failure.
If he couldn't get the best, he would not need anything at all. He knew it was stupid, but it was just too strong.
He was too weak.
The force that propelled him forward was competitiveness, the desire to reach the highest place, to achieve first place... if that wasn't it... there was simply no point in continuing.
As fast as motivation arose, it also waned like this. The despair lurking in the dark corner of his mind crept in and slowly spread over his consciousness.
He was so far away.
Weak.
He knew he had no chance. Not now. Maybe never was. He doesn't know, and he finds it difficult to understand. Maybe when he was young, he could still climb... maybe if he did it differently... he would have managed to get to the top. He was a winner. All Might, everyone. He would fight with all his might and achieve what no one else has achieved. Becomes the best number one hero in history...
Who is he joking of? It was surreal. Absolute absurdity. Did he really believe that?
Even if once this dream, which was so ambitious, was feasible. No longer.
The dream was shattered.
Deku would achieve that and it made sense. Deku has been dreaming about it since they were both snotty and stupid babies who err in growing illusions and megalomania. This quirkless and miserable boy, wanted to be number one.
But life is just a joke.
Despite all the absurdity, Deku got what he wanted.
Deku was on his way to fulfilling the dream, while Katsuki was left to bask in his pathetic weakness.
Measly.
Karma? Fate? Maybe just a punishment. It was justice. It echoed in his head, and he knew it was true. Katsuki wasn't one to be a hero.
A hero is a good person. A hero is a person who helps people and encourages them. A lifeguard for people who have jumped too far into the water. Not a bully telling them to jump off the roof.
After all, life was morbidly fair.
He abused Deku as a villain while the quirkless Deku tried to protect others. It was only expected that the kind-hearted broccoli would become the real hero.
Katsuki was like Pinocchio, claiming he was a real kid while his wooden nose was elongated. Or maybe like the tin woodman, a piece of metal without any humanity.
There was no hope. He didn't think so, he knew. It would be foolish to lie to yourself about it. Stupid and unnecessary.
A child can dream. He can grow up and fulfill the dream, but only if the dream is within reality. And Katsuki's dream never reflected reality.
You can strive to overcome a strong person. Even on the most powerful person in the world, if you invest enough, there is still a chance. But if you can win against one, it does not mean you would succeed one against many.
One for all, how many incarnations has he already rolled? How many people are behind this powerful force this time? A ten? Each one develops and perfects his abilities until he passes to the next heir... and Deku holds the power of the most powerful people. In the power of all together. Could he have equaled something like that? Even he was not so mistaken in illusions.
The odds were never equal.
Punishment for himself, a reward for Deku. They both know they deserve it.
He was left to languish, like a proud seedling so quick to grow that he forgot the right time and environmental conditions quickly froze him, while his friends grew slowly in a safe and strong way.
Looking at the backs of others while he feels sinking...
And the only thing left for him was to collect the tiny fragments of what had once been the meaning of his life.
Not anymore.
He has nothing left.
Bakugou was a lot of things.
But most of all...
.
.
.
He was nothing.
A/N: I wrote this story quite some time ago and now I have decided to publish. I think I will add to this work more depressed oneshots about Bakugou.
I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading and I would really love to hear your opinion!